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You're watching The Grinder. For justice?

For justice!

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Would the Magistrate's Court of London please come to order?

Applying the Queen's law to this matter, the jury finds Reginia still well.

Guilty on two counts of public tomfoolery and one count of brazen

harlotry.

Barrister Cromwell, very impressive work.

Are you the same, sire?

I haven't seen you round these parts.

You must have studied under Mitchard Grinder at Cambridge.

I'd recognize his tutelage anywhere.

You have a keen eye, Barrister Heath. I did not study under Mitchard Grinder.

For I am Mitchard Grinder. Dear God.

Why here?

Why now?

Because I needed to escape the shadow of myself, Barrister Heath. Because I got

tired of winning on my name alone.

Because I got tired of winning simply.

Because I am the Grinder.

I wanted to win because justice needed me to.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I have a lorry to catch.

Buckingham Malice.

One of my favorite episodes.

It really underscored the character's nobility.

He slept with that guy's wife while wearing his face.

I think that's illegal.

Not in Europe. So he was just walking around with a fake face on. Maybe we all

walk around with fake faces on, Stu. You should think about that.

You know, Dean, just because you walk away after you say something doesn't

mean you made a point. But it really does help.

Maybe you should think about that, too.

Okay, that's a good point. Yeah, thank you, Dad.

You walk away and I'll just think about both of those.

Both of those great points.

Uh, one last quick thing. I'd like to have all the week's business closed by

Friday at noon. Ooh, that's a tight deadline. Can I ask why?

He's taking Deb up to the mountains for a, uh... What's a delicate way to say

sex vacation? Oh, God. And now we don't need the answer to that. Intimate

getaway. Just thought of it. Thank you, Dean. Uh, any other business?

Um, who here wears socks?

Because I have a bunch of free socks.

I love socks.

I wish I could wear socks. I got this foot thing.

Where'd you get all the socks, Dean? I was looking at socks at the store, and

they gave me a bunch, you know. They just gave them to you? Mm-hmm. And that

seems normal to you? If you blow this for me, Stu... I'm not gonna blow a

thing, Dad. I love free socks.

I... You know what? Never mind. No, I will always mind. What are you trying to

say?

It's just... You keep saying that you left this show to come back home and

live a normal life, but your life is not normal.

Is that true, guys? You are not even remotely normal.

You don't want to be normal, Dean. Trust me, it's horrible.

You know what? They're right, Todd.

You know, I came here to leave that all behind, and yet I haven't.

From now on, no more free stuff.

No more swag, no more velvet ropes, no more late-night boggle with Paul

Giamatti.

From this moment on, I'm a regular guy.

I think that's good. I'm gonna, we're gonna. Yeah, all right, thank you. All

right. Next. Please, allow me.

Uh, three lattes for Dean. You got it.

Nailed it. Yeah, you did great.

And to think, I had an assistant who was doing this for me every morning when I

could have been doing it myself.

Oh, well, Dean, you're going to love it here. There's lines everywhere.

Hey, speaking of assistants, my new assistant is starting today just in time

for our weekend getaway.

How long do you think this one's going to last?

Had some bad luck with assistants.

Three in the last year. Do you think I'm too hard on them? No, you're not too

hard on them. You're just, you're particular.

For me, I think a firm leash and a loose grip is the way to go. I mean, it will

look really bad if I fire anybody else this year. So loose leash it is, I

guess. No, no, no. Firm leash. Firm leash. Loose grip.

So welcome.

Happy first day.

Pretty much everything you need to know is in that email I sent this weekend.

Of course, that's just a blueprint.

I'm not trying to micromanage you or anything. So if you think of a better

way to do something, just, you know, riff on it.

Uh-huh. Oh, my God. Is that from that truck downtown?

They make the best coffee. Oh, my God. I know, right?

No, I'm obsessed with it. Yeah. Yeah.

I wish I still lived on that side of town.

Well.

I live right by this place, and I go there almost every day, so why don't I

bring you a cup tomorrow? No, I couldn't ask you to do that. No, please. I'd be

so happy. Oh, you are the coolest boss. That's kind of what I was going for,

so... So I would love a triple macchiato with one and a half pumps of hazelnut.

Not two. And if they could do a side cup with just the foam, that would be

awesome. Is that a thing? Do you want to write this down?

You know what? Actually, I'll write it down. I'm your assistant. I can do it.

Okay.

Thanks for that.

Okay, last week you said it was going to be ready on Tuesday, and on Tuesday you

said it was going to be ready today. So today, what are you saying? Monday.

Monday is not going to work for me, Farouk.

I'm supposed to go away with my wife this weekend.

Take her car. Her car doesn't have snow tires, and we're going up into the

mountains. Bring it in. I'll put snow tires on. I'm not going to give you both

of my cars, Farouk. Bro, you're screaming now.

I'm not... Okay, listen.

We haven't been away without the kids in a while, and I just want to take her on

a kind of, um... A sex vacation.

Yeah, it's a sex vacation.

Being normal has been so enlightening. You seem so connected, Uncle Dean. Your

entire vibe has become much more approachable. At lunch, this restaurant

wanted to seat me right away, but I said no.

And I waited 45 minutes.

Here, I took pictures.

That's a guy named Ron.

Huh? How real is that?

It's almost too real.

Stop sign, stop sign, stop sign, Dean! That was a stop sign!

Sir, do you know why we pulled you over?

I kind of rolled through that stop sign, didn't I? That's a generous way of

putting it.

His license.

Yes, I know it's dropped, so I'm going to ask for his license.

Can I see your license, please?

Wait, are you the grinder?

Once upon a time.

This is really embarrassing, but my wife and I have this free pass thing where we

both get to pick a celebrity.

Yeah, and I'm hers.

Um, yeah.

You should give him his license back now.

So are we free to go, officer? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

When someone who's not me drives through a stop sign, what would you do? Well, I

would give them a ticket. In that case, kind sir, I would like one ticket. Dean.

No way. I can't do that. The Grinder is my favorite. It's my wife's favorite

show. She loves it. Yesterday, I would have just kept on driving. I wouldn't

even have looked back. But now, I've made a commitment to this man.

And my word is sacred.

I want the ticket.

I need the ticket.

I respect that.

Okay.

Right there.

It's a grinder.

What the heck are you doing? Is it going to be a huge nightmare to take care of

it? Not if you just go online and pay it. A lot of people make it harder for

themselves and try to fight it.

Regular people do that? Yeah. They all of a sudden think they're lawyers and

want to have their day in court.

Oh, no.

Their day in court.

Good morning. In an effort to save time, you should know my husband's a cop, my

dad's a cop. 99% of the time, I'm going to take the cop's word over yours.

Well, hello, Mr.

Sanderson. My lucky day.

So what brings you here? I believe that I was given this ticket in error. I'm

inclined to believe you, but we still have to do this. Is the officer here?

Yep. On my day off, missing my son's championship soccer game. Objection.

Irrelevance. Sustained. Can we get to it? Yeah.

He blew through the stop sign. I gave him a ticket. Pretty cut and dry.

Objection. It may have been cut, but it certainly wasn't dry.

Your Honor, I would like to call eyewitness Stuart Sanderson to the

stand. We don't have a stand.

You could just do it from right there. Your Honor, I would like to call

eyewitness Stuart Sanderson to this general area.

Your Honor, Mr. Sanderson, could you describe for the court what you

witnessed when I was given this ticket? Sure. The officer pulled you over, and

when he recognized you from the grinder, he refused to give you a ticket. Then

you begged him for one because you're on some kick about being a regular guy, and

he ultimately obliged.

He ultimately obliged.

Your Honor, this isn't about a ticket. It's even less about running a stop

sign. What this is about is justice for all people.

And wouldn't you agree, Mr. Sanderson, that people are what make this country

great? It would be hard not to. So for the record, that's a yes. Yes, people

make this country great. Well, I think Officer Collins would fight you on that.

Apparently, he thinks people with TV shows are more great than those who

tragically don't have them.

Your Honor, I move to have every single ticket ever written by Officer Collins

thrown into the garbage.

Garbage? Okay, well, I can't really do all that. But how about if I just throw

out yours?

What? Great. It's perfect for a first draft.

You said Friday, remember?

Farouk?

Farouk? Hey, is that Armenian mechanic still jerking you around? Well, we don't

know if he's Armenian, Dad, but, yes, he's still jerking me around. Ask your

brother to help. No. No way, Dad. That's a non-starter for me.

Besides, Dean's still on this whatever-it-is, proving that he's

normal. You're the one who pushed him into that position.

I did, yeah. Nino!

Your brother needs a favor. You know what? I don't, actually. I'm fine.

Stop acting like a baby.

Just ask the favor.

Dean, let me stop you right there.

Does this favor in any way involve me using my celebrity for personal gain?

Yes, but... The answer is yes. I'm afraid my answer is no. I'd like to

help, but I've left that life behind, and I cannot imagine going back.

It's been two days, Dean. A man has made a commitment.

Now you're gonna fault him for it?

I'm gonna miss my trip.

I'm gonna miss it.

Why don't you just trick him?

Trick him?

How am I gonna trick him into helping me with the mechanic?

I don't know. How do I trick my dog into going to the vet?

It's easy.

Good morning, Deb.

Oh, morning. Hey, listen, so I'm going to kind of throw you into the fire

today. There's 80 contacts in a shared folder on your desktop called Vendors.

I'm going to need you to call them. Sorry, I'm just having a really hard

time focusing because I haven't had a coffee. Is that mine?

Oh, yeah, it is. Here's your hazelnuts and a side of foam. Sorry about that.

No, it's totally fine.

So I'm going to need the spreadsheets to reflect that.

This kind of tastes like two full pumps of hazelnut.

Remember I said a pump and a half? Yeah, I do remember, and I watched, and it's

definitely a pump and a half.

This is definitely two, maybe even two plus.

Well, now I feel bad.

It happens.

How about I bring you another cup tomorrow to make up for my horrendous

mistake? That's really sweet. I'm just, like, trying to figure out how I'm going

to make it through today.

Because of the coffee. Exactly.

You got it.

I do.

And then I ended up updating all the spreadsheets. Well, hon, you should have

gotten her the right amount of pumps. I mean, she was pretty clear about it.

She's making my life so much harder. Now I'm getting her coffee every morning,

and I'm doing her work for her. And you're stressing about it. Yeah, I'm

stressing about it. I'm trying to get all this work done before we leave for

the weekend, but I can't do my work because I'm trying to do a good job for

her.

She flipped it on me somehow. You gotta flip it back. How?

You had to inject a little fear into the equation.

Hey, I like this. She's getting a little too comfortable. Yeah?

Right? So she's gotta know that the rug can be pulled out from her at any

minute, and that you're the one who's gonna be, you know, doing the pulling.

Except I can't, because I already pulled two rugs, and I'm afraid that Dandro's

gonna think that I'm the problem. You just let her know that you can pull the

rug. So my hand's on the rug. Your hand's on the rug. And I'm looking at

her. That's way scarier than a rug pull.

It's the potential, because you don't know when that's coming. Yeah.

Then you never get comfortable. Yeah, run go get my coffee.

You can do this, Deb.

You just got to flip it on her.

Just like I'm going to flip it on Farouk. Yeah, you are.

Who's Farouk?

So you're sure it's not ready?

I told you very clearly on the phone.

Ready next week. Well, our wires must have gotten crossed, Fruit, because my

brother, he gave me a ride. He came all the way down here. He's in the car over

there. Have a look. In the car right there, that's my brother.

And he gave me a ride to the shop because that's what normal people do.

They give each other rides when the cars are ready. Why did you tell me the

grinder was your brother? Because I would never exploit my brother's

celebrity in that way. How dare you say that? I see what's happening here. For

the brother of the grinder.

Ready tomorrow.

Free of charge.

Baruch. That's very nice.

I really appreciate it. Boy, that is just so easy.

You know, Bridget is out of control. No, she honestly needs to take a look in the

mirror and take a step back and get back to reality.

Yeah, bye.

Hey, Dad.

Why are you in here? Why are you in my office right now?

It is just so loud out there, and these calls are so important. I just don't

want the vendors thinking that they're anything less than our first priority.

Wow. Okay, well, first of all, please don't talk to the vendors about your

friend Bridget. Noted. And secondly, I'm here now, so... Got it. Yeah, no, I

literally have five more calls to make, and then it's all yours. I feel like we

need to have a conversation about boundaries.

Okay, here's the deal. I'm the boss, you're the assistant, and if you have a

problem with that...

Maybe this just isn't the right fit.

Hmm.

But you can't fire me, right?

Well, why?

You've gone through like three assistants in the past six months. I

mean, that almost looked bad on you, no?

Dean, I'm sorry.

I don't know what else to say. You tricked me, Stuart, like you would trick

a dog into going to the vet. Wow, that seems... The deception you perpetrated

on me...

is unforgivable. So you can at least promise me one thing. Okay.

When you're with Deb at the cabin this weekend, you make it about an hour.

I plan to. Because if you don't, I'll go ape on you.

Car's all set.

Oh, great. Thank you.

Where's, uh, where's Farouk?

His appendix burst last night. He's in the hospital. Oh, my gosh.

Well, please pass on our condolences. That's not right. Nobody died. Too much.

That's too much. Um, well, we trust you to strike the right tone.

You pulled over to this guy?

No, I don't know. It's unbelievable. What'd I do?

Huh. Look who it is.

Hey, Officer Collins.

Did your son win his game? Yeah, he did, actually.

Scored the winning goal.

Great. I wasn't there, but at least his stepdad got to see it.

So not a total loss.

Hmm.

I just got a report that you sped off from a car repair establishment without

paying. Officer, we can explain.

We had his go-ahead.

Farouk said it was okay. Had the okay. The car was supposed to be ready on

Tuesday, and then he... Free. Did it fast for us. He said, free.

You know, you can take it. Step out of the car, both of you. But first, you

have to promise that what I said about you in court won't influence how you

treat us today. Out of the car.

He's not promising.

Yeah, great.

Thank you.

I couldn't get in touch with Deb, but I left a message to her assistant.

Well, while you were wasting your time with that, I got it solved.

You got in touch with Farouk? Not exactly, but Todd's on his way to the

hospital. Todd?

Of everyone in the office, you got in touch with Todd?

Who would you have me call? I don't know. Dad? Claire? The receptionist?

Ethan? Do you want results?

Because I don't know anyone who's more due for a win than Todd.

Hello. I'm Todd Bulchik from Sanderson and Yow, and is this the room of, uh,

Farouk?

Oh, uh, God, I'm gonna butcher this. Uh...

I can't believe that guy just defecated in front of us.

It's a power play.

Plain and simple. It worked.

You know, we wouldn't be in this position had you not deceived me. That

cop would have let us go if you hadn't humiliated him in court. You know, we're

gonna be here all night now. My trip is ruined.

Maybe I'm just not built for regular life. No, Dean.

Maybe I was too hard on you. Maybe you should just accept who you are.

God, you teach me so much.

You know what?

I think you taught me a few things, too.

Excuse me?

Hello? Yes, officer? Do you recognize this man?

Sure. He's the grinder.

My celebrity free pass.

Thank you.

So you're aware that when he gets out tomorrow, this place is going to be

crawling with reporters?

Yeah. But you're not going to be the guard standing next to him in those

photos, are you? It'll be the morning shift guy. It'll be the morning shift

guy.

Officer, do you really want the morning shift guy to be the one on the news

taking the cuffs off of the grinder? Or do you want a story that you can tell

people for the rest of your life?

This just doesn't feel right.

Dean, trust me, this is right. When this used to happen to me on the show, I

would gather the creative team and I would sit them down and tell them, we

have lost the thread.

We need to get back to the grinder's one core principle.

And what was that exactly? What makes the grinder the grinder is that he never

gets by on just being the grinder.

Proves it.

Every second, every day, every decision.

Absolute integrity.

Well, that's a lot of pressure.

I know.

That's why he did heroin that one time. I thought he didn't know he was doing

heroin. I don't think he knew. What are you saying?

I'm going back in there.

Why?

Because, Stu, I gave our cellmates a story that they will tell for the rest

of their lives about an actor who defends the law on television but thinks

he's above it in real life.

I'm going to rewrite that story and show that we're all the same. It's actually

pretty noble.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I'll be here for you when you get out.

Actually, I won't. I'll still be at the cabin. But, um, like Monday.

Write to me. You're going to be out way before a letter gets here.

It's like overnight, Dean.

We're good?

A smuggled cell phone could be helpful. I don't know how I would smuggle a cell

phone into you.

Never stop fighting!

Stop fighting what?

I have no idea.

You all set? I got the car. So you flipped it on Farouk? Yeah, totally

flipped it. How about you? How was your flip thing with, uh, what's her name?

Yeah, yeah. Great.

I flipped her good. Nice.

And then she flipped it right back.

What? Deb? I know, honey. I'm sorry. But look, we're gonna make it. I promise.

Why are you so late? You didn't get my message?

From jail? I was in jail. What? Who was in jail? I was.

I called you. Are you taking off right now? Because if you're taking off, I

think I'm gonna take off, too. Laura, did my husband call by any chance from

jail? Oh, yes.

Deb, your husband called from jail.

So my husband called from jail, and you forgot to tell me? Ooh, sorry about

that. It won't happen again.

You know what?

I think I am going to take off. Wait, because I think I'm actually going to

take off, too. Oh, my God, you totally should. But before you do that, you

should grab all the crap out of your desk and take it with you. And then on

Monday when you wake up and you think, oh, my God, I should go to work, you

shouldn't come.

Wait, what?

I'm pulling the rug, Laura.

Right out from under you got rug pulled I'm Stewart by the way. I'm Deb's

husband. Okay, Laura. Nice to meet you Yeah, we spoke on the phone. That's

right, right?

Uncle Dean Are you okay?

Yeah, all right.

Yeah I'm fine in spite of having to do things. I never thought I'd have to do

to survive in there What? Like he processed food. Oh. So I say we go to a

nice restaurant and, in all likelihood, get a free meal.

Yeah. I thought you weren't taking any more freebies.

You know, Lizzie, I learned some things in there.

Much like Martin Luther King when he was jailed.

I learned that fame is not just a privilege. It's a responsibility.

And I owe it to the people who made me famous to remain famous.

Well, I may be more proud of you now than when you made that opposite choice

yesterday. Yeah.

Me too Ethan.

Me too.