Original subtitles

Do you always have to go all out for Fourth of July?

Honey, you know it's your dad's favorite holiday.

It's not even fun. He's so boring with all these fun facts he says all the

time. Trust me, I know. I get bored too.

But I have a feeling this Fourth of July is going to be a little different.

Okay, if you say so.

Alright, put these on.

Don't worry, it's going to be fun.

Ah, here comes your father.

Hey, girls, did you know that the only two signers of the Declaration of

Independence who later served as president was John Adams and Thomas

Jefferson? Isn't that amazing?

That's amazing, honey.

Yeah, I know, right?

So many great facts on here. The White House first had its first Fourth of July

party in 1801.

This is a tradition we're doing here today.

Oh, yeah.

It's a lot of fun, honey.

We really enjoy spending this holiday with you. Well, I'm so glad you're here.

You know, right over the hill was Charlie Chaplin's house, and he used to

have big Fourth of July parties there.

Wow, that's fascinating, honey. Amazing, right?

Okay, you want some more facts?

Definitely, honey.

Okay, great. Benjamin Franklin first proposed that the turkey be the national

bird.

But then John Adams and Thomas Jefferson decide to make it the bald eagle.

Wouldn't that be crazy?

Yeah, really crazy.

And did you know what else? This is so fascinating. I did not. Tell me.

If the pilgrims, when they landed at Plymouth Rock, had shot bobcat instead

of turkey, we'd all be eating pussy for Thanksgiving.

Ain't that crazy?

Wow, honey, that's fascinating. I know, right?

Yes.

Just amazing facts here. Oh, you want some more?

You know, in 2011, Los Angeles County outlawed fireworks here in the county,

so they wouldn't let us have fireworks anymore. But we're going to have a

wonderful time because on Fourth of July, we got a lot of great food, and

there's going to be so much fun over here.

I've got a clown coming over. He's going to do some balloon tricks and stuff.

Oh, wow. That must be Brad.

Who's Brad?

Who's Brad?

Brad?

Is your stepbrother.

He's a very nice young man.

Is that him?

Ooh, he's cute.

Behave. I swear I won't bite too hard.

Come on in. Good to have you here. How do you like the house? I love the house.

Wouldn't say anything for the wolf, huh? Yeah.

Well, you know my new wife here, and this is her daughter.

Hi, I'm Jennifer.

Nice to meet you. I've heard so much. I'm Brad.

Nice to meet you. Good to see you again, Brad.

Good to see you, too. How are you?

Good to be here.

So we finally have an apartment over here? What's going on? I think you and

your apartment are right.

We're good.

Very nice.

To be festive.

You good over there, Pops?

Yeah, I just got to get this thing lighted.

It's so good to see you. It's good to see you, too.

Look at you. You got all dressed up for the Fourth of July. I know. Just like

your dad likes it.

Why don't you sit here?

Okay, yeah, I'm sure, you know, just be in the middle. Yeah, you must be tired.

Yeah, it was a long drive, so, you know, I'm just kind of... Yeah, we want to

make sure we take care of you. I just want to sit down, everything, keep an

eye on Pops here.

This is why you need to buy American-made products. I can't find

anything. I'm with you, Dad.

Your dad's so silly. Isn't he?

So tell me more, Brad. What have you been up to?

Nothing. I'm just taking a vacation.

You know, it's Fourth of July. I figured over, you know, Pop's invited me over.

Might as well hang out and have a good time, right? Yeah. Are you hungry?

Uh, yeah.

A little hungry, I'm sure.

So tell me, Brad, what's your favorite part of Fourth of July?

I don't know. I just, I love the food. I love the...

American flags. What about the fireworks?

I love fireworks.

I love creating fireworks.

Yeah?

I'm sure your dad really appreciates you going all out and even wrapping yourself

up in these, um, this flag.

And the flag, I mean.

That's nice.

Did you do that yourself?

Well, I just, you know.

Wanted to be... Did you like my outfit?

I do, yeah. It's pretty nice.

Your dad didn't really say anything, but that's okay.

As long as you appreciate it.

So, hey, how do you want your burgers done? Well done or medium?

He doesn't mind.

So you do a prank, huh?

Yeah. Does it get your attention?

I do.

I just...

I'm just trying to save the family here.

I really like this bandana look on you.

I'm just trying to, you know, have a good time.

Oh, we're going to make sure you have a good time.

I knew this was going to be a special Fourth of July.

I could just feel it, you know? Uh-huh. And you just know deep down.

Matthew's talking now.

You know what I mean?

I think I might have an idea.

Oh, yeah. I can tell you have an idea.

I like this.

I like this.

4th of July reunion.

So nice.

I thought you were going to behave yourself.

Oh, my.

Thank you.

He's got his face hidden in the ground.

Don't you get too loud. I don't want him to hear.

How

do

you want your burgers done?

Well done.

Brad, how about you?

Yep. The same.

How about you, sweet pea?

Uh, well done.

These burgers are coming along real nice.

Awesome, pups.

What do you think about these coming along?

You OK, honey?

Oh, yes, honey.

I'm just waiting on those burgers.

All right, they're coming nice and hot.

They're coming along good, pumpkin.

Yeah? Okay.

Wow, they look good.

Yeah.

The meat's kind of crummy. It smells good.

Well, yeah. See, you've got to get American meat. That way you're keeping

the farmers in the United States employed.

People always like to get that Japanese beef. You know, good old American beef.

That's what I say. It stays together on the grill.

Right? Yeah.

Hey, Dad, can you make sure you put ketchup and mustard on mine? No problem.

Better for the economy. You know, you're employing the farmers out here, and

you're improving the economy. Right, honey?

Yes, honey.

The economy is what's important. That's right, honey. That's right. The economy

keeps us going. That's why we live in a big, beautiful house like this.

That's so true.

It smells wonderful in there.

Well, yeah.

You know, I think we forgot the hot dog, but that's okay because beef is all I

need. Really? Because I could run in the house and go get some weenies. No, no,

no, no weenies. You don't want a weenie?

No.

Okay.

So, honey, you want some weenies? Do you want me to go in the house and get some

weenies? No, how about you share some more interesting facts with me, honey?

Oh, really?

Oh, you love my facts. Well, you know, interesting fun facts here.

i don't know if you knew about this but did i tell you you look amazing in that

hat so tell me about these fireworks you got planned for us oh well i got some of

those fake ones you know it's like little streamers that pop up you know

you pull the string and like hey you know here's another fun fact you know

the valley down below over there it all used to be orchards orange groves prunes

danishes everything danishes

But it was all orchards. Then the movie companies came in around 1910, 1921, and

then they opened up all of the studios, and then they took it over, and they

used to film over there. Oh, what's that face? Is that too good?

No, it's a little dry. You know what? Oh, honey.

Maybe we should have left them marinating a little longer.

I'm telling you, you've got to get American beef. That's the only way you

can go.

Mmm, yeah.

This is from, like,

Budapest or something like that. Are you sure it's real beef, then? Well, I'm not

sure, but there's still marks on it where the jockey hit it before.

Honey, every once in a while you come up with some good ones.

That's right, honey, I do. And I'll tell you, the best one I ever came up with

was you.

You're my greatest, greatest achievement. Oh, you're so sweet.

Anyways, I digress.

Honey, can I just tell you that that hat brings out the color in your eyes.

Oh. Thank you.

It really does.

It brings out the color in your beautiful eyes.

Well, thank you, dear.

Times Square. Oh, my god.

Oh, I know. That's part of the thing now. Yeah.

Times Square. I got to tell you, it was crazy back then. I really love that you

get the family together to celebrate this holiday. I know, right?

This is like really hip, you know? And we're all kind of grooving along

together and stuff.

Beautiful setting. It's just nice to everybody get together. I love it.

God, this grill.

I'm really working up an appetite here.

Are you?

Mm-hmm.

It sounds like you are. You sound very hungry.

Can you hear my stomach rumbling from over there? I know. It sounds like

you're making yummy noises over there.

Yep, it's me being hungry. We're all hungry.

Okay. Hungry for more. You sure you don't need any weenie?

Oh, I need some weenie. Okay. I mean, just kidding. I want hamburgers. You

know what I want.

Okay, well, you know, we got weenies.

But he put refried beans in a California roll.

How can you do that? Oh, yeah, you can't do that. No, it's wrong. I mean, I've

never had sushi, but I'm sure you can't put beans into sushi.

No, you can't. No.

Not at all.

You couldn't ask for a more beautiful day. It's just absolutely beautiful.

Yeah.

I agree. Yeah.

Yeah.

Isn't it a beautiful day, Brad?

Oh, yeah, Bob. Great day.

Yeah. God, it's fantastic.

It's so beautiful out. It's been raining, right? Like, I'm so glad the

sun's out now.

Well, you know, they say...

it's not good to rain in june because then it dries up here but yeah it's a

great day out it was a little windy

oh

man i'm so hungry right now i can't wait

Sometimes I just think funny thoughts.

I hope that's not too much smoke, honey.

No. No smoke.

Okay.

These glasses that you got us are great.

Oh yeah? You like those? I didn't think you'd like those.

Yeah, I really like them. I'm going to take a lot of selfies with them.

Well, you know, I think it's nice that we're all wearing them together. One big

happy family, right? Yeah. We share everything together. I am so happy,

honey.

Yes, that's right, baby.

Yeah, for sure.

And all these decorations.

That's great. You always go all out for Fourth of July. I always do, and I tell

you, the family that celebrates together stays together.

You're right.

Yeah.

I can't wait for your fireworks, honey.

Honey, it sounds like you've got something in your mouth. Are you all

right?

I think I swallowed a fly accidentally.

You've swallowed a fly?

Oh, God, I'm going to have to get the bug spray.

Don't worry about it, honey.

It's just one of those random flies, you know?

Your hair looks funny.

It's the wind.

You know wind? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're right. Do you remember how I like my burgers?

Yes, you like them well done, honey. Yes, and I want the work.

Yes.

You kids want the works on yours, too?

Uh, yeah.

Okay,

we'll get the works on them there.

Boy, these things are just getting cooked like I wouldn't believe.

Geez.

Don't burn them. I like them a little burnt.

Well, they're coming a lot of burnt.

Oh, God.

Pickles? Yeah, I just have a thing for pickles. Oh, you little pickle lover.

You love those little pickles, don't you, honey?

Yeah. You know, I would have preferred the kosher ones, you know.

Pickles were first introduced here in the United States in, I believe that was

1805, they brought over pickles from Europe.

You know that for a fact.

Yeah, that is a very true fact there. There was a Jewish pickle merchant, and

his name was Saul Rosenberg.

I mean, he brought over pickles from Prague, Czechoslovakia. No,

no, that's his cousin.

Yeah, he was a shoe manufacturer.

Really?

How do you like your brother?

I'm going to be proud of him.

I knew Rob at least.

Yes.

Yes, that's my...

New Year's resolution.

After 4th of July.

You have to.

You have to.

This thing was... Yeah.

That thing was the size of Havana ginger zariolas.

Look at it now. Do you hear that? Sounds like woodpeckers.

You know what? I think the neighbors are having construction.

Oh, is that it?

Yeah, you know, they wanted to remodel their bathroom.

Nice one.

Think I'm rubbing off on you, honey.

Starting to get my sense of humor after all.

Why don't you come up here and tell your dad how good he's doing over

here. Tell him what exactly you want on your burgers.

Okay.

how are you doing princess i'm doing great how are you dad are you having a

good holiday yeah it's a slam bang holiday isn't it it's a great holiday i

mean i wasn't really excited at first but i'm getting pretty excited about it

you know it must be really windy because your hair's all messed up too yeah

wow yeah my hair is uh

It's a crazy thing. You know, when you have curly hair.

Well, I know, but it's so crazy because on this side of the grill, it's not that

windy, but on that side of the grill, it's windy.

It's crazy.

It's like earthquakes.

You know, another fun fact, you know, sometimes the earthquake is more

stronger outside of the epicenter than in the epicenter.

Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

I have no idea. Yeah, that's nuts.

I can't wait to eat some of those tomatoes and onions and lettuce. Did you

want a weenie?

No, I just want the burger.

Okay, no weenies for you today, huh? Yeah, none for me.

Okay.

Because I'm sure we can get you a weenie if you want one. No, I'm fine.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm just going to stick to what we got here, you know? Okay.

Mustard, right, honey?

Yes, please.

Okay, here's some mustard. Mustard and ketchup.

I want mustard, too.

Mustard.

Brad, how about you? You've been a little quiet there.

Yeah, I've just been hungry is all.

Okay.

I was going to get some Wheaties, but the girls said they didn't want Weenies.

I think they're good on Weenies.

Okay.

Do we have some?

You got some water?

Yeah. Here you go, honey.

Oh, it's so nice we could all get together as a family here today, you

know?

Yeah, for sure.

I'm glad.

Burgers look great, by the way. Oh, well, you're very kind.

You guys said you wanted them well done.

They're starting to look like hockey pucks. I don't know if we should eat

these or donate them to the L.A. Kings.

Out.

still eat it yeah does that look good take a look honey does it look good yeah

i think so i didn't try these one long yet oh yeah try those glasses there it's

nice aren't they aren't they fun i think these would be perfect selfies yes what

do you think yeah what is what is selfie again are you serious you don't know no

what's a selfie it's when you take a picture of yourself

Oh, my God. We've been taking pictures of ourselves for a long time. Hence why

it's called selfie.

Hello. Oh, okay. So that's like one of those hip-hop terms?

Sure.

Okay. All right.

Honey, you took a lot of selfies. You just didn't know they were called

selfies. Yeah.

I guess you're right.

You ever done a selfie, Brad?

Yeah, I've done a few. Yeah? Yeah.

Okay. It's not so bad, you know.

Not bad at all.

These glasses are cool. I didn't try the blue ones yet, though.

God, those burgers just smell amazing.

Well, I don't know. By now, they're kind of burnt.

I don't know about you, but I think this hamburger is well done.

Oh, definitely. Yeah, see?

Yeah. I mean, when I said I wanted it well done, I didn't mean that well.

That's over well done.

Are we going to be able to eat that?

Well, I don't know.

If not, we can play hockey out on the street.

I don't like anything to go to waste. I'll eat it.

Honey, you are so sweet.

But I wouldn't do that to you. Listen, like I said before, I'll take everybody

out for sushi, okay?

Really? Yeah. That sounds awesome.

Yeah.

For a Fourth of July celebration.

It's not exactly American pie, if you know what I mean.

Well, you could get red, white, and blue sushi then.

I usually get a little red, white, and blue.

Yeah, totally. Oh.

Well, you wait till we get home.

What's going to happen when we get home? I thought we were home already.

Oh, that's right. We are.

What's wrong with this damn grill? I'm telling you.

That guy did not do a good job cleaning this thing out. I'm telling you. The

lines are clogged. He just serviced it.

Well, they didn't do a good job. I've got to unclog these pipes here so the

gas flows through.

Well, he was a nice gentleman.

Nice young gentleman.

He was?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, okay. Make sure you just got to fudge around with the knobs over there.

Okay.

Jeez.

There I got it fixed.

Yeah, all right. You got it fixed see You got to do it yourself right can't

depend on anybody else. Where are the girls um?

They went to the bathroom because you said we were going out for sushi, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they go to sushi They went to the bathroom listen brad now

that we got alone here. I need to talk to you You know your finances are

getting out of order uh Dad can we talk about this later? What the fuck?

Uh... Happy Fourth of July?