Original subtitles

Thank you, General Hauser.

Come on.

You want a drink?

No, no, thank you, sir, I don't have much time.

I would have called, but but what?

I didn't want to risk a lawyer to have

a wiretap.

You sound paranoid, colonel.

No general. Just being cautious.

And the reason for this

caution?

A word just came down this morning.

Special directed towards section chiefs, the inspector general

starting a full scale investigation of arms contracts.

I see.

Yes, sure.

Yes, sir.

That's unfortunate,

but I suppose it would have happened sooner or later.

If they find out, they won't find out.

General, if anyone digs deep enough, they're bound to discover

that I've let your construction company charges a fortune and cost overruns.

You offer the standard explanations, unforeseen difficulties in developing the

armed system. Well, stand up general.

When the IG sees your bargain basement bids,

you'll know I let you practically steal those contracts.

They'll indict both of us.

As you say, Colonel,

you're the one that accepted the bids, you approved the overruns

with that much money involved, they'll know we had to be in it together.

I'm getting out.

Oh, I'm leaving for Geneva tonight,

and if I may make a suggestion general, you might do the same.

I have a business to run.

Besides, I never believed in a forced retreat.

Well, maybe you can bluff them, sir, but I don't have your reputation.

You will have less of a reputation if you go, Hey, while

it's an admission of guilt, they won't know it for 30 days.

I just took my annual leave.

It's a small world colonel. They'll find you.

No way, sir.

I managed to disappear.

And if they do

just for the sake of argument,

naturally, keep your

involvement to myself, I refuse to testify.

Not even to shorten a jail sentence

for giving evidence.

Believe me, sir, there's nothing to worry about.

They won't know where I am.

How did you get here, Colonel?

Taxi?

No, sir, I drove why

I've been thinking.

You present me with a problem.

Trouble.

You assure me

that my name will never come into this, that

you will be my protector.

I'm afraid I can't take that risk.

Just ask

what a man just shot someone

somewhere over there there?

See, I don't see anything.

He just moved away from the window.

You've been out in the sun too long.

Mother, I'm telling you, Oh, it's a mirage.

No, no, we're going back. We're going lie.

Which goes back to twist.

What are you doing?

I got it.

It's all right. I'm all right.

I'm all right.

You take this. Yeah, I got that night.

Now you take this.

Oh, what'll I do with it? Mr.

Let me give you a hand.

Thank you so much.

The only thing I can say about the way

she handles the you certainly know when she's got

whiplash,

if you have me arrest

flying Mrs Wallace, Secunia Stern,

I beg your pardon.

I'll tie up your vote. Oh,

oh yes.

Yes, of course. Is this it?

Yeah, that's it.

Thank you.

Oh, I never thought we'd make it.

Neither did I couldn't do it,

I want to call the police.

I knew you'd come to your senses.

They must get 1000 eyewitness crank calls an hour.

What are you going to do?

Oh, hello, operator.

Could I please have the police I'd like to report a shooting.

Hello, is this the police?

Oh, this is Mrs.

Stewart.

I'm down to

the boat place and.

Officer Sanchez,

Mr. Stewart, a no, no, I'm Mr.

Stewart, that's my mother, Mrs. Walters.

You reported a shooting.

Yes. Uh-Huh. Yes.

Oh, well, this man in a bathrobe.

He he shot another man in a uniform.

What kind of uniform was it? Oh, well, I.

Well, I can't tell the difference between an usher and a mailman.

Well, I mean, I can tell them apart, but not what they're wearing, you know, but.

Well, I'm sure it was a military uniform.

Did you see anything, man? Oh.

My daughter is the one who sees things, officer, not me, you know, just because

you were looking in the other direction doesn't mean that I didn't see it.

Where was the shooting Mrs. Stewart

right over there?

See. See that house over there?

Are you sure?

Oh yes. Oh yes,

I know who lives in that house.

Oh, well, no.

Does it matter?

I'd rather not say to.

We've had a chance to investigate. Oh yeah.

May I have your address?

She lives with me.

8090 Vale.

May I have your phone?

9854321.

OK, thank you.

Is that is that all?

Well, for now, if we need anything more, you'll be contacted. Oh,

thank you.

Oh, 9854321.

That's right.

Come on.

You know, I'm on

on that shooting report, Sergeant.

The witness says it occurred in general.

Hollister, his house, the general Hollister.

Yes, sir.

Just doesn't seem right that a slick sleeve like me would barge in

and ask a man like General Hollister if he just shot somebody.

I see your point, Sanchez.

I'd better send over somebody from homicide.

Stand by. I'll I'll have him there as soon as I can.

Roger.

Size, huh?

four spots reserved.

Oh, all right.

Who holy shit reserved for police?

Well, I think I'm the one that you're waiting for.

I'm a lieutenant.

Her name is Columbo were silent, senator.

I was expecting official car.

That's all right.

Your name is Sanchez.

Yes, sir.

Nice. That's general. Has house right there?

Did anyone come in or out since you've been here?

two young fellows in cadet uniforms, one in a little while ago.

That's the wagon over there, huh?

Is there another way out of this house by water?

The general's got it. Got the slip back of the house.

I see.

All right. I'm going to go in and speak to the general.

And while I'm doing that, I want you to search the yacht.

Lieutenant, I don't have a warrant.

Well, I'll ask the general for permission.

If he doesn't give it, then I'll get a warrant.

In the meantime, check it out.

A particular attention to the engines,

and if you're find out anything, let me know.

General Hollister, yes.

I'm from the police or my name is Columbo.

Lieutenant Columbo.

Yes, Lieutenant, I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, sir,

but we have this report about this shooting a shooting.

Yes, sir.

In this house.

That's quite an opening line, Lieutenant.

Sure, I'm sure it's just a crackpot complaint, but I.

But it's your job to follow it up.

Yes, sir. I understand

I've had to do many unpleasant things myself in the line of duty.

But may I ask this alleged shooting

just who is supposed to have shot whom?

Why you see, sir, we don't know exactly only

that the victim was wearing some kind of a uniform

uniform.

Well, come in.

These young men are from my alma mater, Lt.

Mine.

They're here to take away my military souvenirs for a

permanent enshrinement into Memorial Hall.

As a matter of fact, Lieutenant

M-my is giving me a testimonial dinner tonight

commemorating the 20th anniversary of my retirement

and the opening of the all star exhibit.

Yes, general, do you think I could

look inside?

Well, Tennant,

wouldn't that be a little obvious?

Well, I want to be in a position

where I can tell my superiors that I've checked everything out.

They've already started nailing it shut.

It's just too, sir, sir.

Very well, gentlemen, I have a friend here who would like

to inspect the contents of the crate, would you open it again, please?

Yes, sir.

Wow. It.

A lot of guns

or trophies, lieutenant.

AK 47 assault rifle.

Ipswich 41 drum.

Yes, age 40, one clip.

All Soviet made,

and as you've observed, all with their firing pins removed.

I hate it.

Very, very

interesting general.

War mementos, lieutenant,

lively memories, empty uniforms,

all carefully packed lieutenant for the exhibit.

Oh, oh, yes.

Of course, I'm sorry, sir. OK.

Got the American Hannah,

are I?

I think that's fine.

Thank you very much.

Carry on, gentlemen.

Could I offer you something?

Oh, no, thank you very much.

I'll say you got a beautiful place here.

It's thank you.

Roomy and it's homey and.

That's I have.

Wow. Well, you know,

when I was a kid, we used to have those fake wooden kinds.

I don't know if you remember them or not.

In general, they had a fan in the back

and I had a red light and ribbons and you turn on the fan and the ribbons.

They would flutter there. Yeah, they were terrific.

You know, it's funny.

What's funny?

Don't you have those irons?

You know that you put in the fireplace to put the O and iron and iron?

Yeah. No, no, no, no.

I never built a fire there. It's too much trouble.

Easier to turn up the thermostat high.

Oh, for sure.

All the wood is for show. Mm hmm.

Lieutenant, I've been thinking

the person who turned in that report was right.

There was someone here in uniform. Me.

While I was packing.

I couldn't resist

trying on the old harness, you know.

I'm glad to be able to tell you that I can still get into it.

Well, you know, the reports that it was another man here

and he was dressed in a bathrobe.

Whoever filed that report was seeing double.

Yes, I was wearing a bathrobe while I was packing.

I got a match. A match.

There you are.

Thank you.

And it's quite a lighter one of a kind.

Yeah, that's right.

Didn't you say that you were going to send all your stuff over to the exhibit?

Not quite everything, lieutenant.

This is a very personal meaning for me.

It's a gift from my staff on the day that I retired from

service.

Hi, General.

Do you mind if I look around?

Oh, by all means, help yourself.

Not much to see here,

just a basic Bill Q, I guess that's why

I like it.

Any service

just a housekeeper comes in twice a week.

Can I, general

oh, let me get the door.

Carol?

Night.

Lieutenant.

The bedrooms are this way.

Guest bedroom, lieutenant.

Master bedroom,

generally, you've been here all day.

No, I was out on my boat till about two.

It didn't go out after that. No.

I was your packing and getting ready for the testimonial dinner.

Do you mind if I look in your closet? Go.

Well, he is very thorough, lieutenant.

Extra uniforms.

General.

That's a lot of fruits out.

Past history, all to be donated, lieutenant.

Well, you've had a tour.

Anything else I can do for you?

No, I guess that's it.

Unless.

Well, that's what.

Well, as long as I'm here.

The afternoon of Gun General, a handgun.

Ahead in the polls, no.

Yes, yes, I do.

A target pistol.

It's a funny thing,

I never think of it as a weapon

22 caliber high standard.

Super Medic Trophy Model three. All right,

what's that medal for? Oh.

That's a first with the United States marine pistol team.

You know, Lieutenant.

I had this out earlier today.

I was thinking of giving it over to the exhibition,

although it's never had anything to do with my military career.

I was.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, I remember now.

I stumbled over the crate as I was looking at the gun.

Well, that must have been what

your witness saw cars.

Oh, well, we are. Oh.

Oh, and

I doubt if I could, if I could win any medals

today, I've been so busy for months, I haven't had a chance to practice.

You see for yourself.

Well, I'm not a ballistics expert to, well, take it along with you.

Have your people check it out.

No, I don't think that'll be necessary, sir.

I think I'm on a wild goose chase.

Matter of fact,

I don't think there's much else I can look for general.

I think I'll be running along before you go to turn to

just to.

Who reported this murder?

Well, no, I never said it was murder.

Well, this alleged shooting

who turned in the report?

Well, I'm afraid I can't tell you that, sir.

Oh no, sir. That's against regulations, sir.

Yes, sir.

Well, that's one thing for sure.

But whoever it was, it had to be some.

Some guy out here in a boat, in a marina.

Well, general, I'd like to keep the record straight on that.

Now, I never said that it was a man.

Oh, you mean it was a woman?

Well, no, I never said that either.

It doesn't make any difference.

Mistakes have no gender, unless for sure.

Well, I want to apologize for taking up your time.

Please don't give it a thought.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, Lieutenant.

Oh well, one thing I always forgot.

Yes, you're both.

What about it?

I had the boat checked out, sir, while we were talking.

I didn't think you had anything to hide,

sir, and I just thought it would save some time.

I always preached initiative to my men.

So I don't see how I can object now.

And you're right, it did save time.

Thank you, sir. Thank you, Lieutenant.

Good.

Well, General.

Enjoy your dinner.

Oh, thank you, Lieutenant.

Know.

Then the thing the engines, they were cold.

This Mrs.

Stewart, did you look like she could have been doing any drinking, could have been.

I don't really know.

As we both got a lot of paperwork to do on.

Hey, Joey, up number two, Mr.

Barnes.

Hi, general.

Hi, how are you, Mr. Barnes?

A couple of hours ago out on the marina, somebody waved at me.

I think it was an old friend.

You got any idea who it could have been.

Was it one of my boats?

I think it might have been.

Yeah, you might have it there on the record.

It's probably Mrs.

Jordan. Another this still a it.

Do you know where she lives?

I'd like to have a few words with her.

I got it right here.

Hey, General, you're not going to go sailing with her.

Why? She's the worst man, woman and child.

She can't sail.

I don't take my eyes off.

I thought that she was going to kill over any minute.

Well, I'll watch it.

Mr. Barnes, thanks for your good thought, you know?

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Minute.

Mr. Stewart, yes.

Lieutenant Columbo from the police about a report you made of the shooting.

Oh yes, come on.

Who is it, Helen?

It's the police mother.

We're just having a before dinner cocktail, would you?

I know that you asked for his identification.

Oh mother, I'm sorry.

All right, that's all right.

She's entitled to that.

You must be Mrs.

Mrs Ball.

You are.

You sure don't look like a policeman.

I have to make a salad.

You are the mother is the eternal optimist.

He's always hoping for the worst.

Well, Lieutenant, what

what does that even?

But would you like to see it

very much?

Well, it's it's it's not finished yet.

When it's done, it's it's going to be a bold,

you know, like four plants and things,

or maybe it's going to be an Indian water pitcher.

I haven't really made up my mind yet, creatively speaking.

Well, this work is very, very interesting.

Well, they say it's important to work with your hands.

It's very good therapy.

And she needs it.

I'm just a mass of therapeutic studies lately

selling art classes.

I even went back to work.

What do you do?

I work with children and animals.

Well, that's that's constructive.

You see that.

That's a reflection of my job.

You don't know what it is doing.

No, I don't know what it is, but it's very nice.

Well, it's a South American law, but we have them at the Ark Park

and the way the Ark Park,

that's where I work with the children and the animals.

So this here is Obama.

Well,

you see, I try and go beyond the surface, you know,

to find a deeper meaning, a truer reality.

At least that's what I think I do.

I just thought

I'm going to get right to the point.

You know, I couldn't find any evidence of any shooting

in that house that you pointed out, I mean, there was no gun.

With no victim, there was nothing,

just a house fire live in it.

Well, I know what I saw.

Well, maybe you think you saw?

What does that mean?

Some of that owns that house, is a retired marine general.

He says that if you saw him in the window one,

he was alone till he was wearing a bathrobe.

What about the men in uniform?

But he says that later on, he did try on an old uniform

and he was carrying a target pistol at the time.

He says he happened to trip over a crate that he was packing now.

To you, this

does that sound like a reasonable explanation?

Oh, very reasonable.

But it's not what I saw.

I see.

Did you ever wear glasses?

No, I don't wear glasses, I have perfect vision.

No, I have better than perfect vision.

Look,

I don't want you to get offended when I'm going to say now, but

when you

drink and I said the only.

Oh, oh, Lieutenant, this is really too much.

I mean, a police officer this afternoon and then my mother

and now I am not hallucinating.

Look, I'm just trying to reconcile.

I saw two men, one in the bathroom and the other one in the uniform,

and the one in the bathrobe shot the other man.

Now that is the simple truth, the sane and the sober and the simple truth.

Now do you believe me?

This is still a murder charge is about as serious as you can get.

Now, Lieutenant, I didn't ask you if it was a serious charge.

I asked you if you believe me.

Well.

We did have a weird imagination, even as a child

with imaginary playmates, all those games.

We never wanted to face reality, mother.

To some people, that would have meant that I had a creative

and imaginative mind

and a person

that didn't have a bite to eat in peace.

Yes, Mrs.

Stewart.

No, no, no, no, I'll I'll call her for you.

Helen, darling, that's a gentleman here to see you.

Yes. Yes.

Yes, you

are, Mrs.

Stewart.

You seem surprised.

Well, the pleasantly, I assure you.

What can I do for you?

You can watch the 11:00 news on television tonight.

What?

Apparently, I need a character reference.

I'm afraid I don't understand.

You don't recognize me.

So should I.

You said that you saw me.

Shoot somebody today.

No, no, you have nothing to fear from me, Mr.

Stewart. But if you watch the late news tonight.

I'm sure you'll agree that you miscast me.

As a murder.

Earlier this evening, General Martin J.

Hollister was honored by his alma mater, the Marine Military Institute,

at the banquet tonight.

M-my dedicated the exhibit in their memorial hall.

The general thereby joining other select alumni

who have distinguished themselves in the defense of their country.

General Hollister was given a standing ovation.

If any man in recent memory may be said to have had

charisma, certainly that man was general Martin J.

Hollister

early on in the Korean War,

as a colonel commanding a regiment of armored cavalry,

Hollister captured the imagination of the American people

his courage, his brilliance in improvising in the heat of battle.

His colorful garb, riding bridges, boots and pearl handled Colt, 45,

soon earned him the nickname The Iron Horseman.

Later, as a brigadier general with his own division,

he distinguished himself by a daring end run

in which out of ammunition and using only his famous pistol

and a monumental bluff, he succeeded

in capturing the opposing enemy commander

and his entire headquarters.

Finally, a landmine accomplished what nothing else could

but General Hollister out of action with severe wounds wounds

that necessitated his untimely retirement from active duty

as one of the youngest major generals in this nation's military history.

On the foreign scene, the secretary of State again

reiterated the United States' determination

to keep current troop levels in Europe stable .

In reply to sharp Senate.

You still think a man like that could shoot someone for no reason at all?

It's practically on Mount Rushmore.

You didn't even recognize him when he came here.

Well, I was in a state of shock.

I mean, I didn't expect him to show up on our doorstep.

Why don't you just admit that you're not sure?

Because I am sure, yeah, well, you were sure when you were married

to Tom Joad, you remember that you had him running around with every woman in town.

I wonder he asked you for divorce?

Those were not mirages, mother.

Those were flesh and blood ladies he was carrying on with.

He even admitted it.

Your pots over cooking.

That is not a pot.

It's a crock. Oh.

General Hollister colorful character

reminds me of General Patton old blood and guts.

Hey, how about a game of pool before we call it a night with now?

Thanks, but not tonight.

I got to get up early.

That's something special going on.

Yeah, I think I'm going to do a little fishing.

Hey, all right.

If you catch something good. Bring it in.

Give you a bowl of chili free. Hey.

Just just one more drink, huh?

one more look, it's 4:00 in the morning

and go on home to your wives, gentlemen, let's go up for one more drink.

Look, I always make it a rule to be in

bed before I go home.

Good night, gentlemen.

I mean.

Hi, Lieutenant, you're an early bird.

Oh, yes, sir, you're right with you.

Yeah.

And yes, sir.

Combining a little business with pleasure.

At this hour?

Well, George, my brother in law, George, ah, you don't know.

But at any rate, he's a fantastic fisherman, this man.

And he told me that the best time to catch anything is around about now.

He should get there before everybody.

And you kind of catch a fish off guard.

No, it doesn't look like it worked.

Not yet, but I'm going to keep trying.

Mm-Hmm.

I don't think you'll catch anything big around here, lieutenant.

You're too close.

Oh, yeah.

You know, you're probably right,

general.

There's something I don't understand.

Only on a fishing boat,

they were going out and you have boats just coming in.

Why is that?

I've won a lot of battles, lieutenant

and I've caught a lot of fish by doing the unconventional thing.

Do you know that I am only henryk somebody with that talent?

I don't think you can learn that.

You know, I think you're born with that.

You know, inventors and military strategists.

Now I wish I had that because that'd be a terrific thing in my work.

Do you know what I mean?

Yes, I'm sure it would happen.

Oh, general, I'm talking about work.

There's a couple of loose ends I'd like to tie up.

Nothing important, you understand, but I would like to get them tied up far away.

Well, you know, I was watching the news on television last night.

Those film clips. Are you in action?

Great stuff, really?

Thank you.

Yeah. Well, it was just thrilling.

But, you know, general,

I happen to notice that you were carrying a pearl handled pistol.

Splendid weapon.

Single action colt. five.

Yeah, I I remembered that that was kind of like your trademark, wasn't it?

Well, the thing is this that yesterday, when I asked you what he wanted any guns,

you showed me your silver knickers

and you showed me your target pistol, which is all very well and good.

But I was wondering whatever happened to that Pearl handled revolver

because when I looked into the crate, you know, I didn't

see it in their blasted lieutenant a long time ago.

When I was in the hospital in Korea,

somebody liberated it, you know, I wanted a souvenir.

Actually, I was

I was pretty pleased it was taken.

It was getting to be just too much of a publicity gimmick.

I see.

So the poster exhibit is going to have to do

without the famous Hollister gun?

Not exactly.

And I wanted one for their memorial,

so they had a duplicate made,

right? Aha.

Now I've got a change.

So if there's anything else I can do for you?

No, not to be all. Sure.

Fine. Fine.

Just a piece of advice.

Find a different spot

or use a different bait.

Otherwise you're not going to catch anything

cannot.

This is Stuart.

This is Stuart.

End of an afternoon,

did you watch television last night?

Yes, I did.

How did you find me?

I went by your apartment,

had a nice talk with your mother.

Quite a lady, isn't she?

Yes, I understand that you're through here in about an hour.

Do you suppose that you and I could go somewhere?

Oh, public place if you're worried.

I wish we could have a drink.

Why? Well,

you're breaking the law.

I don't think I understand.

You're accusing, convicting and sentencing me

without a fair trial.

Oh, you say that that's un-American?

Here's to your convictions and my acquittal.

Oh, I don't judge you, general.

I just report what I saw.

I'd like to suggest

the possibility that you were deceived, deceived by home,

by yourself.

And we all know the tricks that

the sun and the sea, even your own eyes can play on you.

Particularly after a long day on the water,

would you admit that that's possible,

just possible?

A little.

I suppose so.

The defense rests for today now, and I think we ought

to prosecute these martinis before their statutes of limitations

expire.

Your mother told me that you were divorced?

Yes. Well,

I saw how very good

you were with those children.

Do you have any of your own?

No, unfortunately,

I always wanted them, but Tom was there.

That's my ex. He didn't want children.

He used to fight about that a lot.

Well, maybe you only lost one battle.

Let's just talk

about a whole war.

Well, what about you?

Are you married?

No, I never can find the time.

first, though, is my military career

and then my construction company.

I was married to the business, as I say.

Well, I can understand that.

Do you ever regret it?

Not really.

With other exceptions, like

last night when a door opened

and I saw you and

I in general,

you know, think I'm so insensitive

as to not see through that remark to you now.

What do you mean by that?

Yesterday, I called the police,

and I guess I reported that I saw you shoot a man.

Today you are telling me that when you saw me music

filled your ears and thunder and lightning fill the sky.

Oh yeah, you're right, you're right it.

If I guess if we both see such a scene in a movie, we would break up.

I meant it too much.

And to prove that I want to take you to dinner.

Agreed.

I'll take that for a yes

or no.

And if Helena just closed her eyes

to some of Tom's flirtations, they might still be married.

Whatever happened to your husband, Mrs.

Walters knows cinema for Chinese food

30 years ago, and I haven't heard from since.

You know that I have raised that girl since she was three years old,

single handed.

Stuart?

Hello, Janet.

Well, I hope you don't expect to eat now.

No, I already had dinner

at a lovely restaurant overlooking the city, which is beautiful.

Well, you might have called.

Did you dine alone?

I know.

Not this time.

Well, as a matter of fact, I had dinner with General Hollister, General Hollister.

Well,

what do you know about that, are you going to see him again?

Well, he he asked me to come out on his yacht.

Well, that calls for a drink.

You play your cards, right?

Bourbon today, champagne tomorrow.

Makes you kind of wonder, doesn't it,

about the general?

What do you mean?

Well, I didn't tell them your name,

and I didn't tell them where you live, so.

You must be going through a lot of trouble to find you.

Oh, curiosity about his accuser?

Yeah.

Be there.

Of course, it could be something else.

Oh, thanks a lot, Lieutenant.

I mean, am I so uninteresting that he couldn't be interested in me for myself?

Oh no, no, no.

Well, I didn't mean that at all.

You're a very individual person.

No, what I was talking about was the shooting.

You see, I had second thoughts about the shooting.

You see our traffic people.

They picked up a couple of kids.

They were joyriding in a car. They hotwired wired.

And it turned out that

this car belonged to a Roger Dutton and he's a marine colonel.

This is stored.

And it could be that he was the man that you saw in the General's House.

You know,

you did a lot of investigating for a man who

who asked me if I wore glasses or if I had been drinking.

Well, that's just part of the job.

Anyway, I found out that this Colonel Dutton booked a passage on an 8:00 p.m.

flight to Switzerland.

But then he never showed up to take the plane.

Well, I still don't get the connection.

Oh, you see this, this Colonel Dutton.

He was in the Marine Materiel Command.

Oh, that's a he's a procurement officer, but he had a lot of dealings

with general cost.

And he suddenly took the lead,

and then he just disappeared.

Now, if you could identify the officer in this photograph

is the man that General Hollister shot.

And I think a lot of these pieces would fall into place.

I can't be sure.

Well, now that photograph is three

well, I mean, it all happened so quick, I just can't be sure.

I say.

OK. Well,

we haven't found the body here, so why don't you just keep that?

And maybe you will come back to you? Yes.

All right.

Good night, Mrs. Waters.

Good night, Mr.

Stewart.

You know what strikes me?

You are the one that downgrades yourself.

one dinner with General Hollister, and you begin to doubt

this census.

Helen, you're awake.

Oh, I never knew how hard this would be.

Never tell that to a fisherman.

Look.

What do you see?

Your house

and in the window.

I can't see anything

because the reflection of the sun of the Wall.

You know, you said that you saw a shooting there about the same time of day.

Oh. That's why.

No, I'm kind of a klutz.

Well, you know, my ex-husband, Tom, you know, he was

he was like a ballroom dancer.

I mean, he was so smooth.

It was like it was like he was ice skating, you know?

And then I mean, I.

Well.

People used to smirk and make jokes,

and it's going to my plumper days.

My mother said

I looked like a radish.

Come here,

come here.

That's an order.

I. This late development has just come into our newsroom

early this morning,

the body of a man surfaced from the ocean one half mile off Morocco called.

The body has been identified as that of Colonel Roger

Dutton of the United States Marine Materiel Command.

Police report that Colonel Dutton's whereabouts has been in question

for the past two weeks. We return. You now.

Don't show

a hurry.

Hurry there, lieutenant.

Watch this Another fishing expedition

and not exactly you just wanted to talk to you, general.

Oh, I'm afraid I can't right now.

No time

unless you want to go along a short Sydney cruise.

Oh yeah, I'm taking an overnight haul.

I want to test the engines, OK?

I cast this line off down here

and then have a Varda.

They say

if you have to ask, you can't afford it, right?

And the biggest thing I've ever been on before is a rubber.

Lieutenant,

you didn't come all the way out here

just to talk about life on the high seas.

Oh no.

I was wondering, General.

Have you heard about that money that they found off Morocco?

Colonel.

But just heard about it, just came on the radio,

and it's shocking.

Any idea what happened? Yes.

I guess

they weighted them down and then they just dump.

And in fact.

Now, I guess the Sharks wants to cut through it.

Holding them down.

Well, this is all very interesting, let's have it.

Why are you telling me this?

Well, there.

To protect you.

Protect me.

Yes, sir.

You're saying I know that this is ridiculous.

The fellows down there in the department, they're saying they've got some kind

of a pretty good case against. Oh.

Forced their way out of line, I know that, of course, of course.

But you know, they have these ideas.

I kind of hate

to get into it, I mean, you know, a man of your stature.

By all means, get into it, Lieutenant.

Yes, it.

Your construction company got

a lot of contracts through Colonel Doug Schoen and hundreds of other companies.

Yeah, but it seems as though he was being investigated by the inspector general

and if he were killed, there would be no way of proving

a conspiracy to defraud the government.

No one around.

Perhaps that means it doesn't exist, right?

Right.

That's a good point.

There's one other thing

the morning after.

You went out near your.

Sheer coincidence.

Yeah, it probably is, but we do know that the body was disposed of at sea.

Now I've been studying the tides general at the coast

and Geodetic Survey is going to come out and it shows that a body

dumped off the marina in the ocean might carry down to Morocco low.

Like Lieutenant Mike.

Sheer speculation.

Lieutenant.

You should tell your.

Colleagues.

That they have yet to show any link

between colonel and myself, something that would.

Proved that we actually met on that day.

Yes, sir, you're right there.

But now that you mention it, it occurs to me

that the night that the colonel disappeared, I did see a car.

Is across the street from your house.

I don't know what kind of a car the colonel drove,

but there must be thousands of them in Southern California.

You didn't

by any chance.

Check the registration at the time.

Oh, sir, I didn't.

There's no reason to.

No, that was unfortunate, wasn't it?

A general,

if you don't mind, I'd like to go back now.

Yes, as you wish.

I guess we're about through

with this test, right?

You know, Tenet.

Shouldn't he be more at home on a boat?

Another branch of the.

You know, General,

there is a link between you and Colonel Dutton, really.

This is Stewart, an eyewitness to the murder

of a military man in your house.

Uncle, the bought.

Oh, lieutenant, would you let me take the bag?

Well, nobody better, could you just yeah. No, no.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

All right. OK.

Oh, thank you.

All right.

Are you all right?

Me fine, yes, fine. Yes.

There's something I wanted to talk to you about Mrs.

Stewart.

We've just recovered a body.

Colonel Dutton, the man that I spoke to you about,

somebody dumped them in the ocean.

He thinks I shot him.

Well, what I think is unimportant.

What counts? Is what you saw?

Well, I didn't see anything on now, Mrs.

Stewart, that's not what you say.

Well, no, it was the light.

Some crazy reflection told me that you distinct.

I don't care what I said. I was wrong.

Can a person make a mistake?

Look,

maybe you'd like to talk about this later on.

Well, I'm going to say the same thing later that I'm saying now.

So would you?

Would you just please leave me alone?

If you ever want to go out again,

I'll be happy to take you to come on.

Hey, Lieutenant,

how goes it? So,

so how about a bowl of chili?

But give me some cheer me, I go.

Coming right up, look to get the best in town, you know,

you got to make sure we get this chilly to you.

Go, yes, crack is

your go.

Fuck yourself.

I like that coffee.

What's this?

Is that black?

What it is?

That's my home from the War

World War. World War two.

My wife says I can never throw anything else.

The other day, she put a foot down.

She says either jump goes or she goes.

He decided to keep her.

It was a tough decision.

Anyway, I brought all my work always over here.

Hey, wait a minute.

You know one guy that can appreciate this?

I get you another bowl of chili.

My chili is good no matter what you hear.

Yeah, I got this that look at this.

Like I say, the little the Japanese stirring spoon, I got them.

They all out of the commissary.

Yeah, oh, well, you know, I guess my wife is right.

I can't give anything away, especially when it means something.

Yeah,

yeah.

As a long time ago.

And it's.

All right, give me a dime.

Okay, Lieutenant.

Hey. So let me give it a bowl of chili

because that cream and sugar black coffee.

This is Stuart.

Lieutenant Columbo.

This is Stuart.

I see.

I appreciate very much you coming down here and meeting me.

Just remember our agreement, lieutenant.

No questions and no trying to get me to change my mind.

Not one question.

Not even a half a question.

I only wanted you to see the exhibit.

Why look?

In order to understand a man,

you have to understand his past.

Quite a collection.

See that book,

that's a marine military manual.

You know, the story behind that book.

No, Martin wanted to wait till the first rush of tourists

had passed, so he could explain everything to me himself.

Oh, know,

I guess he wants you to know what kind of man he is to about this book.

There's a bullet in that book.

A sniper tried to kill him.

And that book stopped the bullet, and, you know, he never batted an eye.

I mean, that tells you something about what kind of man he is.

Yes, that he's a man filled with courage, more than a great deal.

I think he has an unusual amount

of courage more than you and I am more than average people.

I mean, if it was me, I would faint.

I mean, most people would take time to recover, but he didn't.

Is she I think he's

he's a very cool man under pressure.

Hey, that's nice.

And a beautifully cut, custom tailored.

No, I think it's almost too nice.

I mean, all that concern about clothes.

It's kind of vain, don't you think?

Some men, lieutenant

do not want to look like an unmade bed.

Yes, look at this stuff.

Look at that.

I mean, this man

just had a natural flair for attracting attention to himself,

sometimes undesirable attention, the talent.

You don't seem surprised to see me.

Oh, I was kind of expecting it.

I mean, when I spoke to Mrs.

Stewart, I had a hunch that she'd tell you,

I'd like to know what this is all about.

All right, sir.

I'll get right to the point.

It has to do with that duplicate of your gun.

What about it?

Well, I find it hard to believe,

Mrs., see if you agree with me on this.

I find it hard to believe that a man like General Hollister

who saved and cherished every war silver knew

even the smallest photograph.

I just think it's strange

that he was so careless as to allow was going to be stolen.

I mean, that pistol was the most famous

single symbol of his whole image.

You agree with the notion.

Well.

I don't know what you want me to say.

Well, if it was me, if it was my gun,

I would take very good care of that gun.

I'd have it in my apartment where people could see it,

and I would keep it polished and I would keep an oil.

And I would keep it loaded.

And when a certain Colonel Dutton

came to see me and threatened to expose me.

That's the gun that I would use.

Well, if what you say is true, I mean, you searched.

Where is that gun?

That's what I ask myself.

Where is the gun?

Why not on public display?

Why not in a glass case,

why not in front of thousands of people?

And after we found Colonel Dutton's body, anybody else,

you mean anybody else?

We have gotten rid of that gun.

We found the bullet in the victim.

And a ballistics check will match up the bullet with the gun.

But somehow, General Sutton told me.

You could never get rid of that gun.

It meant too much to you.

You couldn't even plot with a cigaret lighter.

Now that

Pearl handled Pistol was just too tied up in your pride

because of your tremendous belief in yourself, you figured everyone

would accept your story about having a good mate.

But there never was a made.

Was it?

This, in fact, is the murder weapon.

Is in a general.

I assume ballistics has checked out the gun.

That won't be necessary.

All right, Lieutenant.

I'm sorry.

What is it with me, Lieutenant?

I seem to have a special talent, you know, I mean, with

with all the men in the world.

I always seem to pick Mr Wrong.

I'm seriously

considering locking myself in a closet for the rest of my life.

No, that's wrong.

That's just the way my niece, Marilyn felt after her divorce.

Now she's got a new husband.

It's a matter of fact he's a cop and I got six kids.

Lieutenant, I mean, just between us.

Would you tell me the truth?

You really have a niece.

What kind of a question does that do I really have a niece?

Well, do you?

Of course I've got a niece, my wife's sister's girl, Cynthia.