Original subtitles

Was it?

No, you you're not intimidated, huh?

Oh, come on, Ken, are you forgetting that I'm one

half of the world's greatest mystery writing team?

You don't have gloves on your fingers,

not on the trigger, and there are no bullets in the cylinder.

You're right.

I'm a lousy, practical joker doing here with that thing anyway.

I was on my way down to the cabin.

I thought maybe I could use it for protection down there.

Also came by to apologize.

What a blow

on my copy of the day I got out of line.

Forget it.

You know, that happens.

No, it shouldn't happen between you and me. So

believe it or not, sir,

this is a peace pipe.

Bottoms up, Jim.

Middle of the morning.

Oh, come on. Relax, it's Saturday.

And then the mystery writers hold.

It is always the middle of the night.

Up a toast.

Yes, sir.

I'll give you.

Our divorce.

That's not really a divorce.

Oh, sure, it is.

Come on, let's be honest, I mean, it's it's no alimony, but

this determination

is an idea.

Little children,

all 15 of them.

50 million copies

to the lady who made it all possible, the greatest sleuth in the world, Mrs.

Melville.

When we brought to life and now we're about to bury.

Come on, Ken, you're making me feel guilty.

All I want to do is write on my own.

You're right, I am being selfish.

OK, my boy, my blessings on your solo flight.

Thanks.

I appreciate.

After all,

friendship is more important partnership, right?

Yes, to our friendship.

Right.

And now, sir.

I'm going to kidnap you while the aforementioned cabin,

which has been finished for over six months now,

you haven't seen it, you're going to be my first male guest.

I can't kidnap now. Oh, why can't you?

That's all the way down to San Diego.

Oh, it's a couple of hours drive.

I'll have you on the phone behind.

You know, I promised Johanna I'd take her to dinner and a show.

Oh, that's easy.

You pick up that phone,

you say, Honey, I'm going to be working late at the office tonight.

Come on.

As soon as we get down there, we'll uncork another bottle and we'll go fishing.

Well, I got, you know, your trouble, buddy is, I mean, you're afraid to unwind

even for a day.

Oh, no, I'm not. Well, then prove it on.

If you want some justification, you're doing it as a favor for me.

Please give me a chance to bury the hatchet with some style, huh?

You just don't drop.

Your partner then turned down his invitation all in one week now, do you?

Actually, the timing isn't bad.

I was just finishing the final chapter, Mrs.

Melville's glass case.

You know, we ought to send that brought some flowers.

Said I made a list of things up

I'd like to take from the office you and take a look at.

I'm get it, it's a list of names.

Oh, I'm losing my mind.

It's the wrong one.

I must let the Atlanta the house.

Oh, I am losing my mind.

What's the matter?

I left my lighter in the office. Do you need it?

Has my security blanket.

I'll be a minute.

The figure out I dug into this trip.

And Jim, smell that and how far is the cabin

that Bob for about an hour and this good San Diego?

I'll only be a minute, I just have to get some supplies.

If you want to hand me that book in that collection problem.

Yeah, it's one of ours.

Yeah, the black lady is a big fan of us.

I've been promising this for months.

The price of fame.

Let me come with you.

No, no.

I'll only be a minute.

Sanka.

Anybody home?

Mr. Franklin,

oh, my class must be in the right house, not only never, they're working overtime.

I have a surprise for you.

Why put more?

Prescription murder, I'm Mrs.

Melville thriller by James Faris and Ken Franklin.

Oh, take a look at the first page he signed you, dear.

Well, Mr.

Blank, let.

I'd rather have the storyteller than the story.

Well, I'll tell you, well, if you play your cards right

and give me my grocery list someday, you may have empty promises.

This list sank, but in these just a few things for overnight things.

How is it this

week, the blond in the rain, this was Anka.

I'm all alone this weekend,

except for some contemplation, some fishing and refreshment in my spirit.

Could you break this for need?

Some change for the phone?

Thanks very much.

I'll do fine.

Thank you.

Operator, I'd like to place a station in station

call the Los Angeles Area Code is 213.

Hello.

Joanna, can can.

I thought you weren't talking to us.

Oh, that's all patched up.

As a matter of fact, I left him at the office a few hours ago.

We signed the armistice.

Oh, well, that's a relief.

Joanna, I wouldn't mention it to him.

I'm sure he'd like to surprise himself.

Why don't you join us for dinner and we'll celebrate?

I really love to,

but I'm I'm spending the weekend down here in San Diego at the cabin.

It's a matter of fact that's where I'm calling from.

All right, then we'll do another time.

Absolutely.

Joanna, I thought, maybe if you for some reason

needed to get in touch with me, you do know the number at the cabin.

All right, I'll see you in a few days.

Fine.

Goodbye.

I get a feeling of deja vu. But.

I think you've done something before, but you know, you have.

Why, what do you mean?

I'm getting it right now.

Strange.

You know, I've never been here before.

Maybe in a previous incarnation, huh?

Dan, it's fantastic.

The house that Mrs Melville built.

So will you see the inside?

It's no wonder,

no wonder

what Woman could resist the setting.

Not very many, I promise you that.

How about a drink more alcohol? No, thanks.

They'll corrupt me. Oh.

You're thinking about, Joanna, aren't you?

Yeah.

You know, I just taken off like that.

She still expects me for dinner.

We get fixed and we'll put plan a into effect, pick up the phone and call her,

What am I going to tell her?

I'm not as too square for words.

Now, look,

you simply say that you're working at the office, you're calling from the office.

She knows you have a deadline to meet the book. You're working late.

How many times have you had to do that?

A couple of hundred, I guess. Exactly.

That's why you believe. You.

I just hate lying to her.

You not lying to her.

You're saving her a little language

now when you pick up the phone and call us so we can start enjoying ourselves.

Oh, operator, I'd like to make a hold it.

It's a cinch you have never cheated on, Joanna before.

If you want your wife to believe your colleagues in the office,

you don't have the operator.

Place the call, you dial it direct.

The area code is 213.

Hi, honey.

How are you?

Well, that's what I'm calling about it.

I'm at the office.

I'm pretty well into this last chapter I'd like to work straight through.

I know.

I know

this will be the last time that I can,

Jimmy.

Jimmy?

Operator.

Get me the police.

You in the.

Hello.

Joanna?

What you.

Joanna? You

take it easy now, say it again once more.

Are you sure?

Did you call the police?

Yes, yes, of course, I'll leave right away.

Joanna, please take it easy.

And don't worry.

I'm sure it's nothing but a practical joke.

So I know it's insane,

and I just I can't think of the clichés,

and Jim and Ken wrote this scene in there in their books.

100 times.

Look at it this way.

Mrs. Ferris maybe isn't dead now.

There's no body, no blood. He was shot.

I know what I heard.

I heard on the phone.

There's a place for searches as far as the baby's on the floor.

Any idea why?

No, I have no idea.

What did you notice? Anything suspicious?

Sometimes I don't know.

Yeah, sure.

It was his voice. Yes, I know it was his voice.

And maybe somebody should be under any kind name.

No, maybe somebody was.

What did he say where he called from?

Yes, he said he was.

He was calling from the office, he said.

He said, I'm I'm calling from the office.

I really don't care if anything was missing.

I just really want to find out what happened to my husband.

Your son's voice?

I know it was his voice.

It was a gunshot. Yes, that's right.

Sit down and get a glass of water.

Yes, I would like really please, Chris.

I really feel stupid, and I really want to clear my head, OK?

I don't.

I don't think that's out of order, ma'am.

You see, that's the trouble with these buildings.

The fountains never work and you have to use the coffee machine

and then you lose your dime and the coffee's lousy.

Who are you?

I'm just another cop.

My name is Columbo Hemagglutinin.

Were you in there right here?

You didn't see me in there

because I left before you got in there.

You know why?

Because it's so smoky in there.

It's so noisy in there, and I just had to come outside and get a breath.

Oh, I think I better get back. No, wait a minute.

Let me tell you something.

You look very tired to me, and I think you had a terrible experience in there.

And I think I ought to drive you.

Let's call it a night.

Well, don't you think they want to ask me questions or I don't think they'll mind.

I think you've answered enough questions,

and I'll call them and I'll tell them, you're with me.

But what about Kim?

Why isn't Ken here?

I don't know.

Why isn't here? Is that Mr.

Franklin, the other half of the writing team?

Yeah, the other half of the team.

We know that's what I like about these buttons.

You don't have to push them.

They go off with the heat in your hand

and you haven't had any need.

You were a very nice man, but I'm not really hungry.

I'll tell you, Mrs.

Garrett, I'm the worst cook in the world,

but there's one thing I do terrific and that's an omelet.

Even my wife admits

I need something for the eggshells.

I was there in that cabin,

right?

Really not hungry.

Let's just take a taste.

You don't like it. You throw it away.

I'll tell you what the secret is to a good aunt.

No eggs.

Just milk

skillet.

After there.

You're very persuasive, man, Lieutenant.

Maybe I should hold up my end and make the coffee.

Cheese and onions and butter.

I need something

to grate the cheese over there in the cupboard,

right?

What did they do with him, lieutenant?

I don't know, man.

Well, there was no body in the office.

Couldn't that mean that he isn't the right person?

That's hard to say.

Bother me too.

I tell you the whole thing doesn't make sense unless it's a kidnaping.

You don't shoot the victim first, do you?

Why did you laugh before

when I asked you if Mr.

Franklin was the other half of the writing team?

And then I laughed. Yep.

Maybe that's the way you put it.

Writing team.

Maybe I shouldn't say it.

But Ken hasn't written a word of a Mrs.

Melville novel in years, which is Melville.

Of course, Mrs.

Melville, the character that you and Ken created.

The one who sells all the crimes brilliantly.

Well,

why did your husband put up with it?

What I mean is I'm doing all the work.

Well, there were compensations.

Ken did the publicity

and all the talk shows, and he did interviews and cultivated the film.

People

who contributed

just didn't do any writing.

Boy, I tell you, I love to be a writer.

That's a terrific talent.

What do you get? All the ideas

from almost anything?

People magazine conversations.

I'm constantly finding scraps of paper.

An old matchbook covers

just all over the house with notes and ideas

and also mysteries.

So aren't they, huh?

They're tricky.

I'll tell you that I could never figure those things out.

Well, it got harder.

Maybe that's why you decided to go out on his own.

Oh, really?

I didn't know that because he wanted to do some serious work.

And Mr.

Franklin take that

very well,

but he'll get over it.

Gee, I hate to be an issue. Why?

Why are you got a writing team in a very famous, not a break up and what happens?

one fella continues writing books and the other fella just that.

That's what I keep telling Jim.

As sooner or later people are bound to find out

what your husband did all the right

kind of telephone, Mr.

Frank.

I know, I know.

Just take it easy.

I drove as fast as I could, so anything, you know?

Yeah,

it's incredible.

I just saw this morning at the office.

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't.

Lieutenant Columbo, Mr Franklin,

I don't know.

The question is, how you doing, lieutenant?

Well, I'm afraid we just got started

as Jim and found yet.

Has he been following it?

Why did someone to tell you was gone?

Lieutenant, I just spent several hours driving up here from San Diego.

You must know that this story is on every news station.

All right.

Yeah, gee, I should have thought of that.

Well, has he been fired?

Gee, I'm afraid not.

What were you visiting friends in San Diego?

He has a place there, a cabin.

Away for the weekend.

Gee, that's nice.

Could we get back to my question?

Have you come up with any leads, any clues?

It's a little early for that early.

Seems to me I'm of standing around just marking time.

Could I have a drink?

I could use one myself.

Thanks.

I'll tell you something, Lieutenant.

See if Mrs.

Melville were on this case, she'd be leaps and bounds ahead of you by now.

Is that the lady in the books?

That's right.

You see, she would have figured it out that this is not just someone missing.

This is a professional killing.

Here it is.

Take a look at that.

I put it on a desk, just drop it because of the fingerprints,

you know, like Jim's fingerprints are all over that so online.

What is it?

What's it look like?

It's a list of names I got at Mustoe, Delgado, Hathaway, Westlake.

Sound familiar?

Yeah, kind of.

They should.

That's a list of some of the top men in organized crime on the West Coast.

L.A. Vegas, Fusco. I don't understand.

Well, it's painfully obvious.

one of these men had Jim killed.

Really? Why?

Tell me something.

How long have you been a lieutenant lieutenant?

This is Melville would have put that together like that.

Look, I I want to take all the help I can get.

Right?

Let me see if I can explain it to you.

See my partner and I decided to split.

Go our separate ways.

I'm sure Joanna must have mentioned that to you.

Yeah, she said something about that.

Did you also mention the fact that Jim wanted to do some serious writing?

Hey. Uh huh.

Wait a minute dawning on you now. Yeah.

No, you'd get it.

But that's only the tip of the iceberg.

You see, Jim was researching a complete and factual exposé of

or West Coast organized crime.

I mean, he was going around asking

some pretty embarrassing questions, probing compiling dossiers.

That's why they search this office.

Apparently, they got everything.

But that list and you think one of these fellows put out a contract on him?

Of course, word must have gone around that Jim was compiling all this information.

They knew they couldn't buy him off. So what did they do?

They chose the usual alternative

professional killing, huh?

But if that's true, why did they get rid of the body?

Well, who knows?

But remember, one thing without a club is to let die.

You can't prove the murder was committed in the first place.

But why would a professional killer care?

I mean, he's already on a plane back from where he came,

and I can't answer all of your questions.

I'm giving you a list of the most likely suspects.

A clear motive is not enough to start with.

Oh, that's plenty.

And believe me, I'm very grateful for all the help you've given me.

See, that's funny, but

this thing is falling like flies like someone was carrying it in their pocket,

so. Well,

if he typed that on that typewriter and I'll run a check on that.

Why don't you fold it up before you put it in a drawer?

I'm beginning to like you.

Why is that?

Because you're finally beginning to think like Mrs Melville.

Unfortunately, Jim used to fold up a piece of paper,

and he used it as a bookmark, you know?

Now, however interesting your observation is, it only leads as far astray.

However, since you are beginning to learn how to emulate our dear lady.

I'm going to give you something

that you richly deserve a chance to read some of our books.

Oh, well, that's very nice.

I didn't expect gifts tonight. Thank you.

Maybe I can pick up a few pointers, or I'm sure you can.

Could you tell us more?

All right.

Go up the next day.

It's very nice.

I don't keep you busy for a while, huh?

Sure. Well, anything else, lieutenant?

No, I don't think so.

I think I'd better let you get some sleep. That's very nice of you.

I just only hope I was of some help.

Well, you certainly were.

Well, good night, Lieutenant General, Sir.

Good night. Well, Mr. Franklin,

actually, there

is one thing Catherine makes that much difference.

What is it?

When Mrs.

Ferris called you and told you her husband got shot, you jumped in a car and drove

right back to L.A. Is that right?

That's right.

You know me, I had taken a plane.

I mean, it's a big airport and I run every half hour.

It's been a lot faster

my life. That's true.

But in a situation like that, who thinks clearly, I look at it

this way, you add up all the time it takes to drive to and from an airport.

How much time do you really see?

After it was given, the police was.

Lieutenant Columbo, please.

Yes, thank you very.

Colombo.

Frankly,

I think you better get over here right away.

937 Skyview Drive.

It's an emergency.

two, three and 24343

went on to say all they run to the main jail when a seven year run out and.

twelve and 15 care.

You know, you're clear

distinctions on why No.

ten and PS have been notified.

And do you still request a radio unit?

All units in the vicinity of our twelve at three call that 3:00 a.m.

When I got home there,

when I thought it was right in the middle of the line when I can

just say 1112, the thing

that come home to me 1750 like a on.

Funny thing is I

kept hoping I was sure that Jim was still alive.

What else can Trevor for Joanna?

Every time I think of feeling sorry

for myself, I think of how much she had to lose me.

Look at him

for at least 17 can't for his business

and lieutenant, you mind if I go inside, I can't stand to watch him eat.

Listen, you mind if I come in with him because there's no whining

on this continent with the chili.

I don't mind a seven.

Hello.

Yes, Mr.

Franklin.

But no comment.

You've got to be kidding, want an interview now?

But gentlemen of the press,

you're going to get a lot of that.

I'm sorry,

Lieutenant, I'm forgetting my manners, would you like a drink?

Yeah, maybe a drop of bourbon bourbon.

Boy, this is quite a place.

This a copy,

oddly, it's an original.

Gee, I thought they only hung this stuff in museums.

You want this?

This is Melville has been very kind.

Boy, quite a place.

And he got that other place to San Diego

upkeep alone must be.

I managed to scrape by.

You drink.

Thank you.

You know, it's one thing about writers that I don't understand.

Maybe you can help me clear it up it.

If a fella's partner dies,

does he own the other fella's half of the book's half of the

royalties?

Yeah, no.

They go into the deceased's estate,

as you call them,

because of course you insured each other.

Lieutenant, are we going a bit far astray?

You're right, we shouldn't be talking about this now.

It's not the time

Mr. Franklin tell me.

Why do you think that they left

your partner's body out there on the lawn like that?

Do you mean to tell me you haven't figured that out?

Lieutenant, you disappoint me,

was left as a warning, a warning.

Of course.

It also proves my theory about it being a professional killing.

See, the moment they dropped Jim's body in the middle of that lawn.

Please sit down.

You know what they would say?

This could happen to you

unless you stop in your partner's research trying to scare you.

Exactly.

Right.

So what are you going to do?

You're going to continue writing the book anyway?

No, that's the irony of it.

You see, that was Jim's pet project, not mine.

I wouldn't even know where to begin.

Say, I guess they didn't have any way

of knowing you two are going to split up. Nah.

Even if they did, it wouldn't have done Jim any good.

I must say, Lieutenant, you're up against a dead end.

Look at this.

You got a body, you had a motive.

But you're never going to find that killer.

It's not going to be easy.

I'll leave you five to one with someone in Las Vegas,

Miami picked up a phone, I'm right, put on a contract, right?

Are you going to make a case much less solve one is beyond me?

No, I guess the only thing I can do is just check out every name on that list.

Sure. You know what's going to happen?

Every one of those guys is going to deny that Jim even existed.

Rain.

I must say, I don't envy you, don't know me myself.

And look, I had a lot of phone calls to make, I'd better get on it.

All the luck. Thanks.

Thanks a lot, Mr.

Franklin.

And listen, I'm very sorry about what happened tonight.

Thank you.

Right?

You are.

You will keep me posted, Lieutenant.

Oh, yes, I will. Yeah.

You know, there's only one thing that I'm not clear about, but that can wait.

You want to go to bed?

Lieutenant, I'm not going to get any sleep anyway.

What is it?

Would you go over for me once again, I know you did it.

Exactly what happened when you came home tonight?

Sure, I, I've already told you, but.

The moment I saw Jim's body in the middle of a lawn,

I came running in here and I picked up the phone and I called you.

I mean, it's purely reflexive action.

Right.

Yeah, that's fine.

Wait a minute.

You look like the trouble is there's some reason for your question.

It's your mail.

My mail in it.

Funny how people are different now, me, if I found my partner

dead, I'd never think of opening my letters.

But I I just did it

to distract myself, I mean.

You got to remember one thing that's a great shock.

Yeah. Oh, that's understandable.

And Bill, was it distracting?

Listen, if anything comes up, I'll call you right away.

Good night.

Good wall.

I'm going to have a hot,

I guess I will to.

I know, Tucker, you put that away.

This one's on me.

I have a receipt, please.

All right, Lieutenant, you're bribing me with a handsome lunch.

What can I do for you?

This is by insurance policy.

Oh, excellent.

It's about time you came to me.

I can give you a plan, but then you're

an insurance policy.

It was already written.

Oh, this is official business.

Yeah. Are there two mystery writers?

Ken Franklin and James Ferris?

Your company wrote a policy on them?

Now wait a minute, lieutenant.

We like to cooperate with the police, but

if you want confidential information, I'm afraid.

Look, I don't want to cause any trouble.

Maybe it would be more helpful if I got a court order.

I was terrified.

Oh, really?

I had the whole thing figured out at the end of the first act.

You did.

I was completely fooled.

You must have a devious smile.

Nowadays, you're young.

Always remember one thing, my love

a moment a man mentions a long lost twin.

You can inevitably know that it's going to be some impersonation.

It's an old plot trick.

You. That.

Someone, they should be somewhere else.

Excuse me a moment.

It's the same.

What a pleasant surprise.

What brings you to the big city?

I came in to do a little shopping.

You like my dress?

It's lovely to see you play.

She's a beauty, Mr.

Franklin. Yes, she is. Thank you.

I haven't seen her before, have I?

No, I don't believe you have.

Well, it's it's lovely to see you.

I hope you won't think I'm being forward.

But is there any chance of our having a drink together?

Oh, I I'd love to really but see the young lady and I

are going to have late supper.

I think you might want to cancel it.

Just why would I want to do that?

Because we really should have a discussion.

I have some other time.

All right.

Suppose I have to find someone else to tell my story to.

It's a mystery story.

Very interesting, really.

It's all about this witness.

Just wait here, I'll be right back.

Anything you say, Mr.

Franklin.

Oh, oh, I just can't resist strawberries.

Glad you like.

Oh, you're making me nervous.

That's quite a stare, so I can't help it.

You know, I've never seen you outside that store before and very lovely.

May I call you, Lily?

Yes, but you know.

How did you enjoy the play tonight?

I thought it was predictable. You.

Oh, I like your books much more.

It's very flattering.

You said something before about about your story or something about a witness.

Oh, yes.

Well, actually, it's a

true to life story or a best kind.

It concerns your partner, Jim.

What about?

Well, I read in the papers

about his death and I felt just terrible.

Thank you.

I felt just terrible because they said he was killed in his office.

So they did well.

And my story, you see,

he couldn't have actually been killed in an office

because he was.

Somewhere else.

Just for the moment, let's forget about your story.

Let's just talk about real life.

And it's simpler isn't much.

I'll tell you, honestly, Ken,

I was very confused when I saw the papers

because when you were in my store

making a phone call the other day,

I wandered over to the side window

to see if you had brought a lady with you

and you didn't believe me when I said that I was alone.

I believed you.

It's just that

I'm very interested in.

You can.

Well, anyway,

you can imagine my surprise when I saw

your partner there, he was big, his life

sitting there in the front seat of your car

and that disturb you.

Oh, not at that time.

Only later

on then I debated with myself for days

whether to come and see you or not.

Why didn't you go to the police colonel?

I wouldn't want to get you into trouble, of course.

All right, Lily.

How much?

I hope you don't think that's the whole.

Oh no, no, I don't think anything.

I'll tell you something.

I'm most grateful you came to me first.

No, I.

Because I

think we can reach an equitable agreement.

I do so admire your candor.

This isn't easy for me.

A widow running a small country store trying to make ends meet

so I can understand that.

I also recognize a new a woman of some breeding.

I mean, you're not just a common.

Blackmailing.

I'm so glad you're understanding

very well, Ali.

How much for your silence?

$15,000.

I know I know it's a lot, but that's all I'll ever ask

for, honestly, and I'm a woman of my word.

I know you and I respect you for that.

You know what?

In that spirit, I accept your terms.

Agreed.

Agreed.

And I know you won't take offense

when I say it's a pleasure doing business with you.

No, no. My pleasure.

Yes. Yes, Mr.

Franklin, home. He's occupied at the moment.

Should I say his colleague, Lieutenant Columbo?

Oh, well, why don't you come in and wait?

Right?

He'll be with you shortly.

Only a few more.

Thanks so much, Mr.

Franklin.

I think we're about finished if you can bear one or two more photographs.

Finally, after all, your magazine was very kind

to Franklin and photos during a lean years.

That's the second reason I granted the interview.

Oh, what was the first?

Why the charm of the interviewer?

Of course you.

Yes, Lieutenant, is there something I can do for you?

Oh yeah, if you if you have a moment that's about all I do have.

As soon as I finish here, I'll be right with you.

Is there anything else, Mr?

May I call you, Gloria, please do.

Just one last question.

I think our readers will want to know

how the death of your partner will affect the Mrs Melville books.

I'm afraid when I buried Jim, I buried Mrs.

Melville with him.

I understand.

But everyone will miss her. So.

Can't you write another one?

So I could naturally. But what's the point?

Jim Garner wouldn't be much reason now, I'm afraid Mrs.

Melville has solved her last case.

Actually been

seriously debating as to whether I ever want to write again.

Oh, well, I hope you do.

Thank you. That's very kind of you.

Now if you don't mind, of course.

Let's go, Harvey.

Perhaps under better circumstances, are you

less harassed circumstances, I could give you a more detailed interview,

even in more depth.

Oh, that'll be nice.

Shall I call you? Yes, please do.

Next week.

Dubai.

Oh, sorry, honey.

Thanks very much.

All right, Lieutenant, what can I do for you?

Well, I brought back your books.

Well, that's fine.

Just put them over there on the table.

Yeah, sure.

I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed them.

I think they're the most terrific.

Boy, I want to and I'll listen.

I'll come back. I'll make two trips on this.

But the lady detective, what a character.

What a brain and what logic, the way she figures it out.

And I'd love to sit down and discuss literature with you, but

I was on my way out.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you.

You're going someplace special.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm on my way down to my cabin for a rest.

Would you like an itinerary? Hey, I'm sorry.

I'm making a pest of myself.

Yes, yes, I am.

I know it's

because I keep asking these questions, but I'll tell you, I can't help myself.

It's a habit.

I take it you're not going alone.

Whatever gave you that idea, I noticed the two bottles of champagne.

Oh, those oh, I'm quite capable

of drinking those two bottles and a good deal more than any help.

Now if you'll excuse me, Lieutenant.

Yeah, I'll listen.

I'll you just want to take a second

and know how we're progressing on your partner's list.

Oh. Anything concrete?

No, not a thing. Just like you predicted.

Everyone said they never even heard of James Forrest.

That's just as I expected.

Well, was lovely to chat with you, lieutenant.

Mr. Franklin, yeah.

Do you have a minute?

Is it important? Well, it could be.

You see, I was checking the the phone company records in San Diego.

Now, why would you want to do that, Lieutenant?

Oh, I have to do that, you know, that's part of my job.

I got to tie up all those loose ends anyway.

On the day of the murder, there was a record of a call from the cabin.

It was a call to the Ferris House in Los Angeles.

I see.

And now you're wondering whether I can explain that at all, right?

Oh, I'm sure you can't.

Oh, you're right, I can.

But you see, you would have saved

both you and me a great deal of trouble if you check with Joanna Ferris first.

She would have explained to you that I'd spoken to her from my cabin,

telling her that Jim and I had patched up our differences.

What do you mean by differences?

What do you see?

Ironing out any difficulties in a separation is never easy.

And I knew Joanna would be concerned, and I wanted to put her mind at ease.

Can you understand that?

Oh, yes. Yeah, that's understandable.

Fine, settle.

Yes, that's all right. Good.

Alison,

enjoy your trip.

Thanks very much.

Drive carefully.

Don't worry, Lieutenant.

You can count on it.

And here you are

bearing gifts

and more gifts. Mr.

Franklin, how lovely. Can.

Yes, of course, can.

Now, Lily, let me ask you a simple question.

You have to making a nice, quiet dinner for two

tonight.

Here's to.

Prosperity.

And romance

and the daily double.

I must say, Lily,

I was a magnificent meal,

which you learn to cook so well.

My late husband?

May he rest in peace.

Well, as a professional chef,

wonderful when

he taught me, I know well, he taught you well.

Thank you, sir.

Refill.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, you're allowed to

open another one?

Yeah, we did.

We nuts. Mhm.

Here we go.

Happy New Year!

Quick, the glass.

Oh, delicious.

But I'm afraid I'm giving a little tipsy.

What's wrong with that?

I don't know if I can trust you

now. Is there any reason not to?

Lily, if I make you uncomfortable,

I can always leave no sleeves.

I do enjoy your company.

You know, we should do all right,

that's such a beautiful nation

relative to the center of the nation.

Go for a swim.

Oh, how nice is nice?

Shall we?

I do not.

Why not?

I trust you care, really.

But we all have a dark side story,

just wouldn't be very intelligent of me to be alone with you in a small boat.

After all, you might start having second thoughts

about the money.

I wish I hadn't said I really.

A kind of talk hurts me deeply.

I'm going to tell you something, and I shouldn't.

But I'll tell you why, because I trust you.

I was prepared to give you

considerably more than you asked for.

15,000, I mean, I've lost that much gambling

in one night.

Well, it certainly

is a great deal of money to me.

What do you think you'll you'll do with all of it?

I don't know.

Put it in the bank, I guess,

but not right away.

Oh, I just a look at it for a while.

Better, be careful.

Someone might rob you.

I'll just keep it for a day or two.

I've never seen so much money in my life.

Maybe,

maybe

you could take a trip somewhere, huh?

I may.

I've always wanted to go on a cruise or cruises.

So romantic.

But I tell you that my late husband was in the merchant marines.

Is that a fact?

They're the ones who taught him how to cook.

I almost wish he were here now.

He could share this with me.

Or maybe we can do the next

best. You.

What did you say it is?

Well, the cop said it was a local woman, some kind of drowning.

Well, they've just been cleared

by 17 nuclear

Adobe 1510 by.

one, Elton and Peter have been notified.

Margaret.

Well,

Lieutenant Columbo, I must say you turn up at the oddest times, don't you?

I hope you don't mind my coming in that way, you know, but the door was open

and I just let myself in.

So how'd you get here by Magic Carpet?

I didn't see your car all the time.

Oh, I pull around back and I put it in the shade.

You know, the sun raises hell with the paint.

Oh, sensible.

Well, what brings you up here to the White House?

Well, I'll tell you, I heard you and Mrs.

Ferris talk so much about this place and you made it sound so terrific.

And believe me, you weren't exaggerating because this is magnificent.

And since I got a two week vacation coming up,

I said to myself, Go on down there and check out the area of the sea.

Maybe you can rent a cabin.

Lieutenant

and I could tell me you drove down here just to look for a vacation spot.

Why else would I come?

You wasting your time?

I have a feeling the cabins in this negative

was pretty much out of your price range anyway.

Most of them are rented for the season.

Oh gee, lawyers.

That's too bad.

Gosh, my life is going to be disappointed.

Well, it was a nice ride anyhow.

Yes, a lovely drive, except for that bottleneck down the road.

What was that all about?

Oh, there was a drowning.

Well, what was it? A fisherman?

Why would someone say it was a local woman?

I'll miss La Sanka or something.

Something like that? Yeah, yeah.

Did you know that?

Not really, no.

I was just wondering because when I was in the kitchen before I noticed

a grocery box, boy might easily buy supplies there.

Sure, like anyone else who lives around here.

I think she was the one that drowned.

Yeah, cause I stopped by the grocery store on the way here

to pick up some cigars, and I noticed it was closed in the cops cars around.

Well, if it was there, I have been very sorry.

She was always very friendly.

Yeah, that's a shame.

Oh, you did know,

Lieutenant, I know a lot of people without really knowing them.

You know, like

fathers, waitresses, parking lot attendants,

even the cop on the beat, don't you?

Yeah,

I do.

Matter of fact,

I tell you, though, people are strange, you know, I can't figure out

why a woman goes out on a lake or by herself before the light comes up.

Oh, there's nothing unusual about that.

A lot of us go out early.

It's peaceful and

kind of makes you feel like a

plugged into nature.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I'll say they said, look, you came down here to get away from things,

and I'm just taking up your time, I didn't mean a bobby.

No, no, no. It's no bother at all.

Said I'd be more than glad

to have a bathing suit, but you don't don't like the athletic type to me.

When had it's my wife? That's the athlete.

Oh yeah.

So you don't think I'm going to be able to find a cabin to rent, huh?

Best bet is to go down and check with some of the local real estate people

because I think it'd be fun to be neighbors for a couple of weeks.

Yeah.

So what kind of nightlife do you have around here?

Nightlife, none.

No party, just sleep and crickets.

You know, I was just wondering because, you know,

I didn't want to barge in on you today unannounced.

Well, I finally know last night I called to tell you that I was coming,

but there was no one at all

. You reporter

know,

Lieutenant Columbo, the police L.A.

LAPD.

Yeah. What brings you down here, Lieutenant?

Well, I'm working on a case. Listen,

this is not really my jurisdiction, but do you mind if I browse around?

Well, help yourself, lieutenant.

Always glad to cooperate.

Didn't you have a bruise on her head, as you know, that ban?

Oh, come on, Sergeant Jack Webster told us.

All right.

So there was a bruise,

probably a result of the boat capsizing and rendering her unconscious.

Any indication the lady was under the influence.

I can ascertain that until we see an autopsy report.

The doctors working on that right now sounds like drinking to me.

Could you swim? I don't know.

Where would I know a thing like that?

I wasn't married to any living relatives.

I don't think so. Somebody said she was a widow.

What about the robot rowboat?

What about who they belong to?

Where they come from, belong to the deceased?

I've got witnesses.

I think she wanted some fresh air last night.

This is all conjecture, gentlemen.

I mean, there's no way of telling.

Maybe she did, who knows.

It's also possible that she had a heart seizure or she got dizzy.

And you think it was an accident?

I certainly don't think it was foul play.

I'm going to be in your office this afternoon.

Absolutely. How long was she in the water, sergeant?

Oh, I don't know. We'll wait till we get the report.

We're starting to cover the same old ground here, gentlemen.

Now, why don't you meet me in my office an hour from now?

We got some more questions, or I'll answer them all.

Then I'll have the reports and I'll be able to give you a lot more information.

OK, thank you to my lovely, lovely skin.

I still don't know what this means.

Means that he no.

It means that

he knew or not casually the way he said.

It means that he know a reasonably well.

All right.

You've got a romantic inscription in a book and a champagne cork.

Now what does that prove by itself?

It doesn't prove anything, but once you assume

that Franklin committed these crimes, everything fits together.

I just can't believe it.

I know Ken too long. He's not a murderer.

This is first.

I wouldn't make any difference

if you knew him for 100 years, that wouldn't change anything.

This man, Franklin took your husband's life.

Do you have a match?

Help yourself.

I don't.

It doesn't make sense,

Lieutenant Ken has an alibi.

What's his motive?

I told you how we could have worked the phones.

Now his motive is the insurance money.

He needed cash.

He spent money like a drunken sailor, he had two houses.

He's got paintings,

he's got women.

He's got.

Well.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

Jack killed you.

If so, find out why. Jim?

one of the story ideas.

Lieutenant,

if Ken killed my husband, then why did he murder Mr Sanka?

Well, it's my hunch that she knows something.

Maybe she saw them together, she tried to blackmail,

but that's pure guesswork, isn't it?

No, ma'am, it's not. Not quite.

I checked the bank yesterday.

He took out 15,000 cars today.

He put it back in again.

Now why in the world would he do that?

All right.

I'm still not convinced.

Let's say I go along.

What happens now?

I don't know.

But I've got a pretty strong circumstantial case, it's just not enough.

If I have one piece of hard evidence, I could nail this one.

But you don't.

That's right, man.

I don't. That's why I'm here.

Maybe you can give it to me, me

and know both of these fellows very well.

I want you to tell me about them anything.

Just talk whatever comes into your mind

kind of like analysis without the couch.

Would you like a little coffee first?

That'd be fine. OK.

I don't know what you're looking for, the heroes

they met in a typewriter shop of all places.

Jim had broken a key and can needed a river,

does that help and he can't.

Well, I told you a lot about him.

He's brilliant, really.

You wake up in the middle of the night with ideas, always turn off sparks.

I remember he even did it on our honeymoon.

Funny thing is, Ken didn't even talk about the books

unless he was on television.

This a truck is going to move my stuff out of sweet eight or three.

Yeah, it was finished. Haven't started.

Maybe you haven't started.

I'm only the driver, Mr.

That's the other two guys they've been in and a half an hour already.

Half hour.

Colombo.

Oh, hi, Mr.

Franklin.

Just finishing up this last Melville mystery,

I didn't get a chance the other day. All right.

What are you doing here?

I I'm waiting for you.

I happen to be in a neighborhood.

Oh, you're always in the neighborhood and you tell me what?

You've got to keep those movies out of this office.

Oh, listen, I'm sorry about that.

It's just, you know what I thought?

I thought, you and I should talk a moment.

You and I have nothing to talk about. Yes, we do.

Mr. Franklin, we have something to talk about.

I'm here to arrest you for the murder of your partner.

But now it's my duty to inform you of your constitutional rights.

Oh, you cut that drivel. I've ridden that stuff so many times.

I know it by heart. And what is this nonsense?

You're going to arrest me?

Come on, Mr.

Franklin, why don't you make a statement and say it was both a lot of trouble?

You know, I've really got you.

All right, Lieutenant, you've got me.

I'm your prisoner here.

Clamp the irons on me.

But you want to give me a dime first so I can phone my attorney

because I promise you, I'm going to sue you

and your department for false arrest and defamation of character.

I kind of knew it right from the start.

There's nothing definite.

There's a lot of little things, little things driving back

from San Diego on the day of the murder instead of taking a plane.

The open mail never showing any genuine emotion

for a man that you worked with for ten years.

And with that, you know, they're going to do.

They're going to laugh you right out of court,

but they're not going to laugh at the insurance policy.

They have got a photostat, a copy of it here in my pocket.

They're going to laugh at the fact that he withdrew $15,000.

Put it back the next day. I've got the book that you gave

the missile was Sanka with your signature in it.

You expect to

get a true bill of indictment on that trivia.

Come on, lieutenant.

I was down in San Diego.

So is your book?

That's it! Provocative statement.

Can you prove that? Yes.

Not with the witness.

Because you killed the witness.

But I got another way to prove it.

Will you enlighten me?

I must say I enjoy watching a man raise without any cards in his hand.

You know, what can I'm going to tell you the truth?

For a while there, I never thought I was going to get you believe me.

You had me going in such circles.

I couldn't figure it out.

Suddenly, I thought of something how clever that first murder was.

The phone gimmick working late in the office.

Brilliant.

Oh, you were awarded gold medals today?

Yes. For the first one.

Not for the second one was sloppy.

Mrs. Melville.

She'd have been very disappointed.

Oh, come on. Get to the climax, lieutenant.

You're talking to a writer. Am I?

That's not what I heard.

And that's the key that you're not a writer.

When Mrs.

Ferris told me that you didn't

contribute to the writing that her husband did all the work, that's a lie.

I had to say to myself, How could a man with no talent for misprints make up

such a clever murder if he were that the you'd be able to write your own books?

Go ahead.

I'm fascinated as boring as it may be.

Then I got it the first one.

The clever one that wasn't yours.

The second one.

The snappy one that was yours, but not the first.

Oh, and whose idea was that then?

Your partners, Adobe

and his wife told me how conscientious he was, you know, the way he used

to write down his ideas on every scrap of paper backs of matches, whatever.

Oh, so that's why you wouldn't let them move, is it?

Well, I had a rummage around here before they emptied everything out.

This is your partner's handwriting.

Well, I think I can prove it is.

I know how to read this to you.

Idea for a Melville book perfect alibi.

He wants to kill B drives B to a remote house

and has him call his wife, and City tells her he's working late at the office.

Bang.

Bang!

Sound familiar?

That's the part you used

practically word for word,

should I read some more?

Yeah,

officer, with this,

I think I got a conviction that you.

He got to admit I had you going for a while out at night.

Yes, you do.

If you want to know the irony of all of this,

that is my idea

and a really good one ever had,

I must have told of the gym over five years ago.

Whoever thought that idiot would

write it down?

You. You.