Original subtitles

♪ Adventure Time ♪

♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪

♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪

♪ With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human ♪

♪ The fun will never end Adventure Time ♪

[whispering] Side quests.

[Ice King] So they're a bargain too,

since you're buying them in pairs.

Even though, like I mentioned earlier,

the taste isn't that great.

I see you haven't touched yours.

I already told you I'm not hungry.

- [Finn] Let her go, Ice Dingus! - You okay, Slime Princess?

I had to listen to him explain details about

his shopping habits in ways he thought would impress me.

Ugh, let's get you out of here!

Hey, we didn't have dessert!

Whoa!

- Give her back! - She's not interested, dude!

Normally I only date sevens and above, but what the hell?

[Finn] Let her go, Ice Doinkus!

Hey! You didn't get my number!

She's not into you, bro!

Hey! Come on! Come on, come on!

- Give her back! - [both] No way, ice creep!

[Ice King] Hey! Hey! Hey!

- Give her back! - No way, Ice...

- Uh... - Whatever, man.

- Just punch him. - Wait! Bro talk!

Do you think I'll ever find my special someone?

[hums]

- Hey. - [laughs]

[thudding]

Man, Ice King is wearing me out.

That dude's driving me crazy with all the princess nabbing.

When is it going to end?

- Hmmm. - Maybe if we find someone

dumb enough to date him.

Pfft. Yeah, right. No one's a big enough dummy

to date that dingus.

[grunts]

Hmmm.

Dummy.

Oh, idea brain! What if we make a princess

- dumb enough to date him? - Ooh, yes!

We record stuff for her to say that makes him feel good,

and play it on a loop!

- [tape rewinding] - And play it on a loop!

- Yes! - She'll be his ideal princess!

And she won't run away because she's a dummy!

Exactly! Wham bam, no more princess-stealing, man!

[both] It's Idea Implementation Time!

[upbeat music playing]

- She's perfect. - Yeah, man.

We did good.

[snoring]

[laughing]

[alarm ringing]

[yawns]

[laughing]

Okay, quick. Shh, hide.

[sighs]

Meal for two.

That means two for me.

[laughs]

[laughs weakly]

- Oh. - [on tape] Tee hee,

you're so funny, Ice King.

Oh! Pardon me, we don't get many ladies up here.

My name is Valourishant BBQ Tigermilk,

princess of the Dummy Kingdom.

Dummy princess?

[both exclaiming]

I'm Ice King.

Tee hee, you're so cute when you toot.

- Really? - Most people find it repulsive.

What are you doing, Ice King? What are you doing?

You're blowing it! You're blowing it!

Tee hee! You're so funny, Ice King!

You really think so?

Tee hee! Tee hee! Tee hee! Tee hee! Tee hee!

[laughs]

Oh, you have a big badonk.

Huh, I guess I do pack a lot of back.

Hey, so you wanna be my girlfriend?

For sure.

Ooh, okay.

Well, let's start now, shall we?

I'll show you around the place.

Dude, he stinking bought it.

We're geniuses.

Princess-nabbing problem solved.

[both] Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

This is my kingdom.

But you probably saw all this when you fell from heaven.

[gasps]

Oh, my clumsy little angel.

These are my baby photos.

I forget which one's me. And that's my roommate Gunter.

He's a little shy around the ladies.

Quack, quack.

[grunting, panting]

And that's why I'm so jacked.

Oopsies. You dropped this.

Tee hee.

You look so... Oh, I don't know how to say this, but...

like someone made you just for me.

[purrs]

Ah, so nice to finally have time to do our own stuff.

Yeah, no stinking Ice King to get in the way.

Commencing gauntlet test!

[both grunting]

[both] Whoa!

Wicked. Oh, man, I'm buzzing with ideas for next time.

I'm thinking rabid badger cage fight.

[laughs] That sounds awesome.

Oh, but before we do that,

let's go check on those two lovebirds, you know?

Make sure the sparks are still flying.

[chuckles] Okay.

[both exclaiming]

Au revoir, Gunter!

[sighs] You know, sweetie baby boobie bear,

I've been thinking, what if we took things to the...

[gulps] next level?

[both] Blech!

What I'm trying to say is...

I love you for the rest of my life.

So what do you say, baby?

Will you be my wife?

- Blech. - [gagging]

[both gasp]

- His wife? - This is perfect!

If marriage is "till death do us part..."

And Dummy Princess can't die

because she's a pile of garbage...

[both] Then we're free forever!

[both] Free forever!

Well, what do you say?

[tape dying]

Boobie bear?

Uh...

Quack, quack.

[laughs]

Oh, I was just kidding. You fell for it.

[mock laughter]

[sobbing]

It's okay, Ice King. Keep it together.

You got this.

[farts]

Oh, glob!

You've always tee-hee'd my farts. [sobs]

Sweet. Ready to get pulverized?

[Jake] As long as it's with you, my man.

[sobbing]

- Alone! Alone! - Ice King!

I'm so alone!

There's no one on this Earth for me!

My heart! My cold, cold heart!

- [sobbing] - [growling]

Alone forever!

[both] Our gauntlet!

What happened to dummy princess?

Let's go check on her!

- Oh, no! The tape! - Uh, uh,

we just gotta make another one.

Well, what happens when that tape messes up?

Then we just have to replace that!

And then the next one, and the next one.

Oh, Finn, we're gonna be stuck making tapes

for the rest of our lives at this rate.

Hmmm. No. We just gotta make one.

The last tape. We gotta use our sick writer's craft skills

to write a happy ending to this donked-up tale.

It's New Idea Implementation Time!

[upbeat music playing]

[both panting]

[sobbing]

[snoring]

Ice King, my love!

Dummy princess, you're speaking to me!

I have something important to tell you.

I was sent to Ooo on a mission from my home planet,

the planet of girlfriends, to find the ultimate boyfriend

who's super cool, really awesome.

Dude, it's working!

And when I found you, I was so overwhelmed,

I lost the ability to speak.

But now I'm recovered, and need to report back

to the space beings about having found the one.

But I will return one day with a whole race of girlfriends

to come live with you.

But you must promise to stay true to me,

no matter how long it takes.

More girlfriends? Hot dog! Go!

Bring me my planet of girlfriends!

[Finn] Love is messy.

[dialing]

[line ringing]

Hey, Wildberry Princess. I'm back on the market.

- [dial tone clicks] - [line disconnects]

- Ooh. - [tutting]

[closing theme song playing]

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪

♪ We could wander through the forest ♪

♪ And do so as we please ♪