Original subtitles

[crow caws]

[quacks]

[bats squeal]

[opening theme song playing]

♪ Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends ♪

♪ We'll go to very Distant lands ♪

♪ With Jake the Dog And Finn the Human ♪

♪ The fun will never end ♪

♪ Adventure Time ♪

[whispering] Side Quests.

[folk music playing]

- [grunts] - [cheering]

[panting]

[all cheering]

- [chomping] - Refill time!

[grunting]

- [grunting] - [laughs]

This is it.

This is totally gonna be my year.

I can feel it in my buffs.

Look at those thangs.

The Tournament of Champions is as good as won.

You know it. [chuckles]

Now where do I start?

How about at boiling man?

Can you beat a minute?

[laughs] Nah.

[man] Hi-ya!

Woohoo!

- Mannish Man! - Finn man!

- [both grunting] - [laughing]

Ooh, that hurt. You been working out?

- Big time. - Show me those gains, bro.

[grunts] Yeah! Whatchu got, MM?

- [grunts] Yeah! - Now, chest!

- [both grunting] - Now, back.

[both grunting]

I'm ready to toss some house.

[laughs] Awesome!

Sign up with Choose Goose first

so we can make this match official.

You mean, bro-fficial?

- Yeah, yeah! - [hooting]

[both] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

You guys are sweet.

All right, Choose Goose.

Sign me up for the house toss, big guy.

You? A house to throw?

Unlikely with those noodle arms, dontcha know?

[laughing]

Oh, um, this salad is hilarious.

Come on, Choose Goose.

Your embarrassment is not mannish.

To avoid further pain, vanish.

[laughing]

Oh, uh, so many croutons.

Argh! I am totes mannish!

I'm gonna huck this whole tower.

[groans]

Oh, did you hear that, gals?

Finn's gonna destroy our observation tower

with his little noodle arms.

[groans]

- You want your shirt back? - No!

I just need a better grip.

[pants, thuds]

Gals, he got the load bearing pebble!

- [screaming] - Old ladies!

- [grunts] - [gasps] Finn!

[yells]

You scared us. And you saved us!

Thank you, shirtless Finn and Jake!

Well, that wasn't us, elderly dames.

Oh! Well, was it this big block of beef over here?

Uh, no ma'ams.

[sniffs] Well, this arrow smells like it came from...

Mmm...

Oh, that really cool guy.

Dude, how can I be exactly like--

Crossbow tournament?

That's it, Jake. We're not house-throw guys.

We're crossbow bros.

- [both] Crossbros! - That's math.

Indeed it appears that you have found

a much better game for ye and ye hound.

You bet your beak we did.

Come on, CG, let him sign the docs.

[Finn] Yes!

[people cheering distantly]

[grunting]

All right! I got like two seconds of practice.

But shooting stuff's... [groans]

[grunting] ...real easy, right?

- [clicks] - Thanks, Jake.

Yup, no problem.

- I'm digging that hat. - [Jake] Yeah, me too.

Ready!

'Kay!

- [clicks] - Huh? Hang on.

The finger thingy's stuck or something.

- [man yells] Ow! - Yeah!

Dude, I just nailed that guy.

And I didn't even see him.

[man, distantly] I'm okay.

Plus, he's okay.

[both chanting] Crossbros, crossbros,

crossbros, crossbros!

[grunts]

- Hit the air. - One point.

- Hey, you hit this rock. - Whoa! That's like ten points!

[Jake] Tree, two points.

Between the ears, nine points.

Right in the dirt, twelve points!

Yes!

We're crossbow masters!

[both grunting]

- Bow time! - It's bow time, baby! Bow time!

We're here to shoot arrows and read tarots.

And we can't read tarot.

We're them boys.

We're them boys!

I love the little guys.

Crossbow! Crossbow! Cross-- Oops!

So I says, "Shirley, it's fine.

I'll survive one day without my helmet--" [grunts]

- Bullseye! - Whew.

Man, you'd be a danger to yourself

- and everyone here without me. - Yeah, totally. Oh!

[trumpet blowing]

[both] We them boys!

[dramatic music plays]

Ah, righteous!

Dude, you're the reason I got into crossbowing.

I loved your work saving my butt earlier.

I wasn't saving your butt.

I was yoinking the hero glory from Mannish Man.

Yeah, Mannish Man is cool.

But anyway, it's an honor to do bow stuff with you.

I'm Finn and this is my best pal, Jake.

Shh! You think you have the bow skills

to cross bows with me?

This field is only for bow heroes such as I.

Boyish Boy!

Cheat day!

No bow babies allowed.

Totally, man.

Blippin' bow babies.

- Bow heroes only. Oh! - Oh!

I says, "Grandobar, you got a head the size of a melon,

wear your helmet!"

Someone's in here.

[chuckles] Thanks, Jake.

[chuckles] Just working with what you gave me, bow hero.

- Wha-- - [gasps]

Pfft! You're no bow hero.

You're a bow...

zero.

[all gasp]

Shut up, man. Finn's good.

He practiced all afternoon.

[hisses] Dog squire.

Look at these noodle-y arms.

I bet you can't even yoink it back yourself.

- Yeah, Jake does that part. - [scoffs]

Why am I even wasting my time with you?

- [shoos] - All right, see you around.

[humming]

Yeah, that Boyish Boy is kind of a jerkish jerk, huh?

Yeah, but he's super talented, so it's cool.

That doesn't mean you should let him dump all over you.

Aw, square roots! You're right!

[sighs] My brain is weak.

Aw, that's okay. You're really nice.

[giggles] Thanks, Jake.

What do you wanna do now?

Eat some more of those meat man haunches?

Yeah, I like that.

Or you could go win the solo crossbow tournament

and teach Boyish Boy a lesson,

like how he shouldn't call

other people's best friends "dog squires".

Yeah! Hack. Nerd. Average.

Man, you really don't like him, huh?

Nah, man, he called you a bow baby with noodle-y arms.

Dude, you're right! Let's teach him to be nice

- through the power of victory! - [whooping]

Wait, I'm kinda really terrible

at this thing without you, remember?

Ah, no sweat. Come here, let me psst-psst-psst in your ear.

[whispers]

Yeah!

With none left to challenge of honest and true,

Boyish Boy wins finest crossbower...

- Oh, yeah! - ...as soon as I say woohoo.

- [Finn] I challenge! - [all gasp]

Solo.

- Ack! - Ooh, little arms. Whoa!

[all cheering]

Woo! Yeah! All right! Yeah, buddy!

Can I help you with something, guy?

- [chuckles] - Go ahead.

Embarrass yourself. What do I care?

[tense music plays]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[all cheering]

A tie, yes, I see with my Choose-y Goose eyes.

To the do or die round

with both of these guys.

- Yeah! - What?

He cheated with that other guy.

Just dumb old dog squires in here.

Ain't nothing in the rule scroll says

you can't shoot an arrow off your dog.

It does not say no dogs today.

[all cheering]

- [trumpet blowing] - Let's get it on, y'all!

[Choose Goose] For the bow hero's prize

you must hit the apple.

If you do not, you lose and that's that all.

Good luck, you guys.

[both stuttering] P-- P-- Princess Bubblegum?

[both grunting]

Okay, bow baby, no cheating with your dog squire this time.

There ain't nothing in the rule scroll says--

There is now.

This time around, there shall be no hound.

[all cheering]

[laughing evilly]

Hey, since we are so evenly matched,

how about we turn up the difficulty?

Oh, father!

[whooping] Okay, son.

Just like we practiced.

- [panting] - [laughing evilly]

Nailed it.

[all cheering]

- Oh, yeah! - Yeah, boy!

- [both grunting] - Okay, Finn.

- You're up, my dude. [whoops] - [panting]

[laughs] Now, don't splatter my brains.

JK, you got this.

Choose Goose, time out. I have to, uh... poo!

- Ew, Finn! - [exclaims]

Would you quit staring at me, man?

Jake, dude, I think we need to call it.

Like, I'm pretty sure I'm about to

accidentally bow-slay Mannish Man

and/or Princess Bubblegum.

No way, Finn.

Jakey don't go into no corner for second place.

Listen, man, I trust you and I love you.

Alls you gotta do is believe in yourself

and I know you'll take this boyish creep down.

[kisses]

Aw, okay. I'll do it.

For Jakey!

[all cheering]

[both growl]

[huffs, pants]

[all] Oh! Oh!

Thank you.

I'm telling you, you worry too much about me, Shir--

[chuckles, whoops]

[playing instruments discordantly]

What the-- [yelps]

- [all cheering] - Oh! A win for Finn!

A win for Finn! [yelps]

Oh, my Glob!

Jake, we did it!

The power of our friendship won the day!

[Jake] Nah, man.

I just got real teeny

and flew the arrow around with this propeller backpack.

- [propeller whirring] - Oh, cool.

Wait, then what...

Aw...

No!

Sometimes I don't really understand

your whole deal, man.

Yeah, I'm mysterious.

Finn! Awesome crossbowing, my man!

- Wow! - [Boyish Boy] Ugh, Dad!

Don't cheer for Finn.

Aw, jeez, man. I think I get it now.

You only act like such a jerk

'cause your dad has a type of relationship with your peers

that you wish he had with you.

No!

I'm just a little snot.

Eat my shorts, dude.

- [laughs] - Hmph.

Crossbows are for jerks.

[closing theme song playing]

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ And the butterflies And bees ♪

♪ So we can wander Through the forest ♪

♪ And do so as we please ♪