Original subtitles

♪

- Good mornin'! - Good morning.

Oh, man, damn, Brown,

will you please turn that shirt down, man?

Look like a rainbow threw up on you!

What--I have you to know this is called hot cooter.

- Did he say "hot cooter"? - Yeah, everybody know that

high-end fashion is called hot cooter.

Teaching y'all something.

It's haute couture!

Anyway, whatever it is, it's a gift to me from me.

Yeah, I finally broke even here at Pleasant Days.

Yeah, I am officially recouped.

My $40,000 is back in my pocket.

Don't go spending all your money on yourself, Mr. Brown.

You have maintenance issues here to deal with.

Say what?

Efe's toilet is clogged.

Well--well, get a plunger!

Plunger? I pay money. You better fix it.

Reginald's faucet drips.

Well, buy him some headphones. He won't hear it.

I paid here six months in advance

and you will complete the repair.

And every time I open my shower curtain,

the rod falls and almost hits me in my eye.

That's why the Lord gave you two eyes, in case one go out!

Okay, look, I need everybody to be patient,

'cuz if everything works out according to plan, I'ma be rich!

And I'll fix everything for y'all.

And how do you plan to get rich?

Sell your organs on the black market?

Hm, the shape his body in, he should try the flea market.

Just in case y'all haven't noticed,

there's a brand-new five-star luxury hotel

opening up across the street.

Well, how the hell that's gonna help Pleasant Days?

Okay, it's kind of like

when people see me and you together in public.

They automatically think you got class.

We can jack the price up on all the residents.

You do know you're talking to your residents.

We can jack the price up on all the new residents

when they come pouring in,

as soon as the inspector give us our recommendation.

And what makes you think you're gonna be put on the list?

Well, 'cuz when the inspector interviews y'all today,

y'all can tell him what a great place this is to live.

And why on earth would we do that when you haven't addressed

these repairs that are needed?

Okay, listen up.

I'm gonna get to it, I just can't get to it right now.

But I promise, just trust me, I'ma get it done.

We'd trust you more if you give us $100.

- No problem. - Each.

Yeah, that's a problem.

Okay, what I can do is I can give y'all $20 each and some

Pop-Oh's coupons for a two-piece chicken.

Pop-Oh's coupon?

You'd be a damn fool not to take 'em.

Them things like gold on the street, man.

As a show of good faith, I will accept your offer

on behalf of the other residents.

Coupon.

Coupon?

That's all I got, ma'am!

When you say you will fix everything around here,

does that include getting rid of that obscene shirt?

I told y'all, this is cooter!

Couture!

Bless y'all. Is it dusty in here too?

♪

♪ No matter what you do, I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember, blood ain't never water ♪

♪ We'll make it if we stay together ♪

- Any sign of Mr. Brown yet? - Oh, I'm sorry.

I was distracted by the muscular deliverymen

across the street putting on a show.

Boy, I've spotted every bit of opulence,

from a grand piano to crystal chandeliers.

I mean, that hotel is the epitome of opulence!

Yeah, that sounds wonderful, but, uh,

I believe the inspector's getting a little antsy.

I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.

Mea culpa.

I won't hold it against ya.

I'm just trying to get my list in order.

I seem to be missing an Efe and a Vincent.

Is that correct? - Oh, um, Vinny is napping

and Efe is in Reginald's room using the toilet.

That incorrigible sneak!

Why is Mr. Efe using Reginald's toilet?

Uh, uh... oh, because, um,

Reginald has very interesting literature

that he keeps by his commode. Why else?

Well, Shakespeare, I can't wait any longer, okay?

I'll get started with you two.

And when Efe and Vincent come down, we'll finish with them.

Shall we begin?

- By all means. - Excellent.

Now, you all know I'm here

to get a sense of how well Pleasant Days is treating you

in order to determine if the facility is worthy of

being placed on the county recommend list.

Well, I fell in love with the place

the moment I stepped my red bottoms inside.

Yes, but an assisted living facility is like

any relationship.

When you first move in, the owner's on his best behavior.

But after the honeymoon stage, the true colors come out!

My second husband showed me his true colors

on the night of our honeymoon,

when he revealed his pink-and-purple panty!

TMI.

Well, I guess I'll let you go ahead

and interview Reginald first.

I'll go and get a head start on waking up Vinny.

He sleeps like a tranquilizer victim.

Well, that was fun.

Okay, Mr. Junie. Shall we begin?

Whoo! Sorry I'm late.

Ooh, the drive over here took forever!

Bad traffic?

No, no, it was hard pressing the gas pedal with my brand-new,

state-of-the-art roller skate.

Why didn't you take the skates off before you started--

oh, never mind.

So, what did I miss?

You didn't forget our deal, did you?

Deal? What deal?

Yeah, I didn't say--I said meal!

Yes. Uh, uh, to show our appreciation

for you putting us on the county, uh, recommendation list,

we, uh, are gonna make you a meal. Yes.

Save your sandwich, Mr. Brown.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

My recommendation is gonna be determined by

what the residents have to say.

Oh, well, they're not-- they're not very talkative.

No, they don't say much. Mu--mute even, there you go.

That's okay.

All I ask is that everyone answer my questions

honestly and truthfully,

as if under oath in a court of law.

Sorry, Mr. Brown, I just don't feel comfortable.

And why don't you feel comfortable, Reginald?

'Cuz his drawers are tight!

Some--sometime they just suck up on him like that.

Mr. Brown, please.

Mr. Junie here has something to say

he doesn't feel comfortable about,

and I need to hear what it is.

Well, what--what he doesn't feel comfortable about is

the brand-new chess set that I just bought him.

He don't feel comfortable taking good gifts like that.

But I insist on the chess set that I'm about--

Ooh, the chess set--

- Oh, yes, that-- - Remember?

that very high-quality, expensive chess set

with the hand-carved pieces of the, uh,

heroes of Black American history.

Isn't that right, Mr. Brown?

Yeah, Black history chess set with carved.

Mr. Brown, I like what I see so far.

I really like your chances

of landing on that county recommend list.

Reginald's faucet is still leaking.

The curtain rod almost hit Anastasia in her eye.

And my toilet, it's still constipated.

I know, Efe. Look, I wanna fix everything.

I really do, all right?

But Mr. Brown didn't give me the money

to go to the hardware store.

So--so--so--well, where is that cheap bastard? Hm?

I'm ridin' and I'm rollin'. Ridin' and I'm rollin'.

I'm ridin' on these rims, but I'm walking on these Tims.

Ridin', ridin'.

- Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown! - Huh?

You spent the repair money on this thing?

Oh, relax, boy!

Look, the inspector already put us on the list.

And then pretty soon,

I'ma be swimming in a river full of cash!

I'm gonna be rich!

You're going to be swimming in a river of something else

unless you fix my toilet!

Mr. Brown, you better keep up to your promises.

Or what? You're gonna take all your stuff

and drag it 50 miles to the nearest assisted living center

that we both know ain't better than this?

I don't think so. Get out of my face, I'm ridin'.

Oh, hey, the place about to open.

Is that the music? Is that the music?

- Oh, uh... you see it? -Oh, my goodness!

Ooh, that--

that hotel must have a lot of money to be able

to afford a live performance by the Nap Band.

You mean the Gap Band, and that's not the Gap Band.

Let me see, let me see. Let me see.

Nah, that's the Nap Band.

They're revealing it.

Yeah, they about to take the tarp off the sign.

Okay, it's called...

Pleasurable Years Assisted Living Facility?!

What the--

Mr. Brown, you told us that that was a hotel.

What? It was so fancy and nice, I thought it was!

So we have a choice after all

that comes with mini-brioche lobster rolls.

Are there working toilets?

Wait-- wait, wait!

Get the Nap Band autograph for me!

♪

Looky there! Looky there!

Wham! Looky there!

I'm proud of you, Mr. Brown.

Well, join--join the club. Get in line.

Hey, it ain't everybody that can ride around here 27 to 37

to 47 times without stopping. Yeah, my mama would be proud.

No, man. I'm proud of you for doing the right thing

and buying that big screen TV for our residents.

It just got delivered.

What? Dang, I keep forgetting to

change my Monzon address to my house.

Wait, you bought that TV for your own house?

Yeah, how else am I gonna watch the stories?

Stay with me, son, stay with me!

Look, I hate to tell you how to run the business, okay?

But you need to take this thing back

and get the money back for the repairs.

Our residents pay good money to be here and they deserve better.

Well, what about what I deserve?

What about me?

You know, I worked hard all my life just to try to get a little

piece of the pie and come up.

And now you wanna try to keep a big dog from eating.

Come on, Brown, you know it ain't like that.

If you don't fulfill your obligations to our residents,

you gonna roll right off that hill.

What, you think they gonna move across the street?

Hmm, live band, fancy finger foods,

and toilets that work.

No, why would they do that?

Aw, I ain't worried about them.

That--that ain't nothing but a bunch of bells and whistles.

Ain't nobody worried. I ain't worried about them.

Ahhh!

Pleasurable Years Assisted Living is amazing!

The residence has its own sports bar.

I just rooted for my country's football team to victory.

We won! We won!

We won!

No, he lyin'. He probably drunk.

Why would you think that?

You heard what he said?

He said, I root for my country's football team.

Everybody know Africa ain't got no football.

Mr. Brown, football is soccer everywhere else in the world

besides America, okay? Clearly, he had a good time!

I know Anastasia don't even like sports,

so she probably ain't have a good time.

Pleasurable Years is simply divine.

The residents have their own spa.

And a handsome Swede named Sven Magnusson

gave me a foot massage today.

And his firm hands etched his name into my soles.

And my soul--honey, now I know

why it's called Pleasurable.

I'm not even gonna stress 'cuz I know Reggie--

he don't like people touching all on his feet and stuff,

so he probably just--he probably a little bit mad--

They even have a library that rivals

the one in ancient Alexandria!

Vinny! You the co-owner.

You ain't supposed to be over there!

I know, but man, they got an Olympic-sized swimming pool.

Man!

You told me you don't get in the pool 'cuz chlorine seeps

into your skin and make your internal organs ashy.

I don't swim, but that pool over there is everything.

And the women are fine.

That place is lit, man!

You worried now?

No. Leroy F. Brown. The F is for Favored by God.

- As long as you're confident. - I'm good.

I'm good--I'm good.

Lord, please don't let them leave us!

I'ma be poor and broke and just livin' in a box

or something, Lord! Please-- - What is wrong with you?

Pull yourself together, Mr. Brown!

We can't compete! I'm gonna be broke.

We gon' lose everything!

Man, that place ain't that much better than ours.

They just got a few more amenities.

That's it.

You mean they got a whale over there?

- Mr. Brown? - Huh?

That's a manatee. I said amenity.

Men-tee-keys. Meni... What?

They got more perks than us, okay?

Now, if you get some perks around here,

then maybe your residents would wanna stay.

Well, why didn't you just say get perks?

Why do you gotta try to go all difficult

and use big words like amanatays?

You done should've said perks!

That's all you should've said, perks.

You just gotta make stuff difficult.

Welcome to the grand reopening of Pleasant Days,

where we now have luxuries for everyone.

The only luxury I want is a faucet that doesn't drip.

The incessant drip, drip, drip, drip is, like...

haunting my dreams, like Poe's "Telltale Heart."

I don't know what that mean, but I--I'm confused,

'cuz I had Jeremy to--to fix everything on that list!

He removed the entire faucet.

Well, then it ain't dripping no more, is it?

My bad, Judge. Look,

I was planning on replacing it after I removed it,

but Mr. Brown didn't buy a new one.

What about Anastasia's shower rod?

You pieced it together with duct tape.

And voila! No more duckin'!

And Efe's toilet. Still clogged.

Now, how do you explain that?

Okay, now that's on him.

He got to get something to start breaking this stuff down.

That fufu is clogging up the toilets.

That ain't me, that's him. You ain't about to put that on me.

So, clearly you had no intention of fixing

our maintenance issues.

Now--

what about the chess set you promised me?

Oh, right there, bam. Look at that.

I got it--I got it fixed all up.

Bam, look at that. And bam!

A fruity cereal box with rocks on it?

Yeah.

Why did you put "MLK" on this one?

Oh, that's the king.

The one with "Beyoncé," that--that's the queen.

And why does this one say "Mr. Ed"?

The horsey!

This is ridiculous. We misled the inspector

and you didn't hold up your end of the bargain.

Okay, look, now, I was too busy trying to get all them

amenit--jamenities--

Amenities! Amenities!

Oh, I tell you, I did do it! I got Efe his big screen TV.

No, I saw that. That wasn't a big screen.

That was two small TVs pushed together.

That's picture in picture!

And--and see? Reg, I got you your chess set.

You're too ungrateful to even appreciate it.

Sorry for your loss!

You just unappreciative and you don't appreciate stuff.

This is ridiculous.

I set Anastasia up with her own private spa!

Uh, uh, see, I saw that, too.

Now, I understand the lawn chair.

And I understand the choir robe.

But what is the-- the water hose for?

Okay, she wanted to make a mud mask. Put little--

- The nerve! - Okay, look, I'm sorry.

I just wanted to give all y'all something that y'all deserve!

I wanted to do right, but I--I ran out of money.

Because you spent it all on yourself.

That's it!

I am tired of being treated like vegans in a rib joint!

We're all moving out!

Where you think you going?

You can't afford that place where all the residents have

their personal butler. - No, he got a point.

They're offering a move-in special.

The first six months free.

Well, I--I give you a month free.

I can't compete with that.

♪

What's all these bags? Where you going?

We're moving out like we said we would.

But I put all my--my new swag on tBay so Jeremy could fix

the stuff for real this time. - We know.

Well, I done everything. What more do y'all want from me?

Something that doesn't cost a penny, Mr. Brown.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

R-P...R-P-S.

Okay, you lost me with the R.

You're gonna have to just tell me.

- Respect! - That's what I was thinking.

But--but I do appreciate y'all. And I respect y'all.

Not--not just 'cuz y'all give me money.

I really do.

I'm listening.

And--and I appreciate it

when Reginald tried to teach me big words, too.

For the record, you teach him some words, too.

But I--I enjoy all your stories.

They fun. I like 'em.

- You do? - Yes!

Did I ever tell you the story about when I was on the set of

"Attack of the Mutant Pimps" with Scatman Crothers and--

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you told us a whole bunch of times.

And you-- Yes, yes.

Well, I'm sure I probably did tell you once or twice already.

- Or three or four. - But you know what?

That's what it is when you're in a relationship,

when you live together.

Pleasant Days is like the boy you grew up with.

Yeah?

The boy across the street might have more hair than

Pleasant Days--

Are you trying to say y'all gonna stay?

Well, what I'm trying to say is that the most important thing

is the history that we share. That's what I'm trying to say.

Oh, so y'all not gonna stay.

Are y'all gonna stay or--or y'all gonna go?

We're gonna stay.

Yes! Yes, Lord! Yes!

Y'all gonna stay! God is good all the time.

Let me help you with these bags and move--

Wait a minute, that's it? That's it?

All these bags empty!

Y'all was just trying to make me sweat, wasn't you?

That's cold. That's just cold-bleeded.

We never really wanted a divorce, Brown.

We love it here. - Oh.

But before we make this official,

I do have one condition.

You not gonna try to do love to me, are you?

- Mr. Brown! - Oh, ooh, you scared me!

I thought she was gonna try to throw me down and try to be

doin' love to me!

I said no, girl! I'm a virgin today!

♪

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

I'm coming! I'm coming!

I'm coming.

Lovely.

A page turn, please.

Good man!

Whew, I'm so glad I only have to do this for one day.

Being my butler for a day

isn't your cup of tea, is it, Mr. Brown?

No, my feet hurt and my bunions is just tearing me up!

Hot sauce, fool!

Vinny, you the co-owner. Get your own hot sauce.

What you think this is, you ignut?

I'm off!

♪

♪

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