Original subtitles

Okay.

Listen, I'm getting to believe that the heaviest thing in the world is

psychology 126.

Do you know that my head shrinker said that everyone should fulfill its

essential needs and that you really find your heaven or hell right here on earth?

Sounds right on.

Gabriella, do you suppose there really is a heaven or a hell?

I guess so.

What about God?

What about him?

Is he for real?

Sure, there's a God. How do you know?

I just know.

I mean, I believe that there's a God and that Jesus is the Son of God.

Can I ask you something?

Sure, go ahead.

Would you give yourself to Jesus?

I mean, not spiritually, but physically.

You're kidding.

Oh, if you wanted his body, would you go to bed with him?

Maggie, you are out of your look.

Your first need is to love, okay?

Okay, what's the second? To be loved.

I'm just saying that my basic need is to love.

You want to know something else? What else?

I'll bet you that if the man himself were in the rack right now, he'd get so

nervous he wouldn't be able to perform.

Maggie?

So he kept pouring, and I kept drinking, and oh, God.

Have I ever got a headache?

Where'd you go?

Where else does a research biologist take you?

Home. His home. To meet his mother, but of course she wasn't there.

What's he like?

Weird. I mean, this guy is definitely a freak.

I can't imagine the things he asked me to do.

What things?

Wild things. I mean, look, you know I'm a screaming liberal, right?

Right. I mean, I dig the whites, the Chicanos.

occasionally some perversion.

But, honey, Hitler's child takes the cake.

Come on, Carla, tell me what he did.

Well, first the Aryan got all sweaty, you know, sweaty palms, sweaty face,

sweaty mouth.

And then he just took off his clothes and he stood there.

Well, then what?

Well, he asked me if I wanted pleasures beyond sex, beyond the aboriginal

urges.

So... So he took my head in his hands and he looked deep in my eyes and he

said he wanted to Stimulate my pleasure center

I told him to take his voodoo ass and get out.

He acts like some kind of a homo futurist. Well, I'd like to take his DNA

and just shove it.

You'd think that a black professor would try harder and not be an ordinary animal

like the rest of them. Well, I hate his guts.

Then why did you do it?

Because I thought if I balled him, it would make things easier, that's all.

He said that it takes practice like anything else, and people have to learn

to get used to each other.

Screwing's going to bring the races closer together, right?

Justice, human rights, equality.

Boy, was he crude.

Oh, Heather, and your bill was to whittle your middle-class virtues at him

and then take the black man to your beautiful breasts and love him?

Black or white, it doesn't make any difference. It's the system.

Well, screw it.

No more are we going to be chased by the hounds. You know, they think that a see

-through blouse is just an open invitation to get raped. Well, it's

about time that these males learn the facts of life, Gabriella, because it's

going to be a new day.

Oh, it's going to be a new day.

Can be so fragile just like one blade of sand.

When the walls and roof crack and leak,

it makes the foundation a little bit too weak.

Always complaining about men.

Why bother with them if it's such a drag?

Oh, it's not a drag.

I mean, I dig men.

It's just that it's up to us to find the real freaks and expose them to the

world. No, seriously.

Why should we always be inhibited?

Why should we be the sex objects and passively lie on our backs and let every

little boy reach out for his manhood?

Hell, I'm for making love, but under my terms. Look, I don't want to get into

the psychiatrist's couch bit, but life's a big, fat... Game.

Survival's a better word.

Listen to me, Gabriella. The sooner you wise up, the better you can play.

Play? The game.

Ever since we've lived in caves, we've followed the man around like some

trained seal.

He set the rules, and we pan it with our tongues out.

You see, baby, when man said jump, woman said how high.

Now, come on, do you really want to live life that way?

No.

But life is more than a game.

I mean, there's love.

What about love?

Love is beautiful.

Black is beautiful.

But I want it my way.

Look, baby, you're white and I'm black.

Could you love me?

I do. You're my friend.

I mean, love me.

Live with me.

Go to bed with me.

Love me.

I'm sorry, Collar, but I don't think I'm ready for that kind of love yet.

This girl needs therapy.

Look, she's not saying that you have to be a lesbian.

All she's saying is that you do your thing.

Whatever you want, you do.

Whatever. And that means that you get what you want, not the leftovers.

And you do what you want to do.

If you want to be Victorian, okay.

But do it your way, you understand?

I'm afraid I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Look, I've got a great idea.

Not the Jesus Christ bit again. No, but how better can three young women of

today's world better serve their womankind?

Who can tell me?

Well, we could do the Rosemary's baby bit if we could find the devil.

No, but we can take this tender young lamb under our wings and teach her

everything we know about how to get the most out of men.

Fantastic. When do we start?

I'm afraid she's got a long way to go.

How do you teach a conservative about progressive liberal sex?

Come on, you guys.

You're kidding.

No, Maggie's got a great idea.

How about it, Carla?

Well, it's okay with me if it's okay with Gabriella.

Hmm, I don't know.

We're offering our services, which includes our minds and our bodies, in

dedication to the development and the fulfillment of our best friend as a

modern woman.

But you have to agree to everything we say, or I'm afraid it won't work.

Listen, Gabriella, we're the foxes. Whatever we want, we go after.

We outsmart men and we use them.

Hounds, that's what they are.

What do you say?

All right, I'll do it.

Now, there's no turning back once you start. It's body and soul. And it's

groovy, too.

And it's the only way to go.

Maggie, I really should have gone to my two classes this afternoon.

Lesson number one.

Gabriella, you have to make up your mind to be absolutely free, with no regrets.

I'll try, but it's not going to be easy.

But that's good.

Think of all the wonderful temptations, starting with the beautiful stranger who

owns his own beach pad in Malibu.

That's what I'm afraid of.

What do you like?

Wait till you meet him.

Tony's the perfect example of what every woman should have.

Number one, he's agreeable. Number two, he's useful.

And number three, he's very lovable.

It's the most exciting feeling I've ever had to think that thousands, maybe

millions of people are going to be looking at me. My God, just the thought

that I could be the most photographed woman in the world is really a mind

buster.

Do you think that could really happen?

Tony says it could.

He's done layouts and publicity on some of the biggest names in Hollywood.

Like who?

Like Raquel Welch and Angie Dickinson.

Lots of women.

Tony says that your body is really where it's at, and that you can create a face

with just makeup.

Besides, men dig good-looking bodies.

And if you have one, I say use it.

Do you want to be an actress?

Maybe. It all depends.

You laugh, but I was going to be in a movie once.

You're kidding.

No, I'm not kidding. What happened?

Well, it was sort of weird. I mean, you know, I've never done anything like that

before. Like what?

Well, there was this friend of mine, Carol Young.

I guess I'd known her all my life.

Anyhow, she was going to do a film on young love.

Pure love.

I guess you could even call it virgin love.

It was really fun.

I mean, it wasn't like work at all.

Stefan and I had a ball doing it.

Who's Stefan?

Well, he was a boy I used to go with.

Carolyn Schelling, that was her cameraman, said that they only wanted to

photograph the truth.

Well, what do you think, Shelly?

Can we use some of those beautiful shots?

Yeah, it looks great, but I wish you'd tell me exactly what we're shooting and

why. Just trust me, baby.

After what we just saw, I know I'm right.

When we get that all together, you'll agree.

You see, I've known those kids since they were little babies.

And my gut feeling tells me we can get more truth out of them on screen than

any of those phony encounter groups we've been shooting.

So you just hang loose, okay?

Maggie, that was the beginning of something really far out and kind of

wild.

Aha, besides being one of the world's great photographers,

I'm also a very fine martini maker.

Here you go, my lovely.

One for you and for the little princess.

Thank you.

You see the technique, Gabriella.

First booze, and then the question, what's a nice girl like you doing in a

pad like this?

Tony, you are a wicked man.

True, I'm a very wicked man.

But then it's a very wicked world.

Oh, hush now. We're about to hear how the Virgin Star was born.

Maggie, it really wasn't that much.

Now that I think about it, it's kind of silly.

Gabriela, this is do-it-yourself encounter time.

Touch and tell.

Okay.

It's kind of wooly, that's all.

Anyway, Carol said she wanted us to act natural and be ourselves.

We took these long walks in the park, and I guess Stefan and I really were in

love. But Carol said she didn't care how long it took.

She wanted us to be ourselves, and she wanted it to be right.

Hi, pretty people.

Jump in.

We must have covered 100 locations every day looking for the right places to

film. After a while, I began to think that making a movie was just getting in

and out of cars.

It was really quite an experience, because sometimes we do other things.

Like one night, we all went to this lecture.

Can you believe it? It was called Eros, Eternal Rights of Sexuality.

I really didn't know what to believe or what to expect.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, Please be seated.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. After we were seated, we went through the usual preliminaries and the

usual introductions.

And then the author of some best-selling book was introduced.

She was attractive and blonde and very Swedish.

which of course translated into English is the internal rights of sexuality.

Tonight we will have a demonstration by one of the couples in our organization,

which will visually illustrate what some people in our antiqued society call

the forbidden areas of sex.

Now we, my fellow psychologists, and most of the rest of us here tonight,

feel that sex is clean.

exciting stimulating fun beautiful and most of all completely normal most of

us here tonight have probably never witnessed sex as an observer i didn't

know whether to be eager wary or uncomfortable you probably don't

actually i mean i never witnessed sex before now what you see here tonight

might astonish some of you For those of you who honestly dislike the idea of

seeing sex... Finally she introduced the boy and girl who were going to give the

demonstration. They were absolutely beautiful.

Both of them.

They began by touching each other.

And we in our organization, including the couple you are now watching, do not

claim to be free of sexual... inhibitions, but we do feel that we are

starting to open up. We are becoming able to express ourselves openly without

embarrassment.

I couldn't take my eyes off them, like I was spellbound and turned on all at the

same time.

I was really involved in everything they were doing, and I didn't find it was

wrong or unnatural, only...

I felt that no one else was in that room except Stefan and myself.

I really didn't want it to end.

I wanted it to go on and on.

Believe me, it was an experience I'll never forget.

But really, you know, they are great.

I mean, they really are getting into some very heavy things.

I thought, um, I don't know.

It was incredible.

You know, that group is really trying for a sense of freedom.

And we could have joined in if we'd wanted to, but... That might have meant

a legal hassle.

Who needs it?

And don't forget, we aren't in the organization anyway.

Yeah, right. And we had to get back here for when Xavier arrives.

When you hear his story, you'll really realize how much bullshit this society

puts people through.

And baby, if you're a homosexual, it's worse than being a typhoid carrier.

You know, that lecture reminded me of a classroom, like a biology class.

Really, though, one of the wild aspects of what we saw tonight was the ease and

grace with which everything was done.

Christ, it could have been like a lush Las Vegas stag show.

But the way Eros handled it, I thought it was beautiful.

Excuse me.

Trick or treat.

Oh, it's good to see you. We've been waiting for you.

Come on in.

Xavier,

this is Gabriela. Hi.

Stefan. Hi, hi.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the star of tonight's film interview.

Ta-da!

Shelly, would you set up the cameras, please? Sure, boss.

Honey, has he ever done anything like this before?

One of my favorite people.

Sit down, Xavier. Let it all hang out.

Well, the first part was the same for me as it was for all the other struggling

souls, I suppose.

You know, the dreaming, floating along.

A sense of actual good that could be felt or touched and sustained.

Oh, my childhood was okay.

Hey, boy.

The change came from me at the usual turning point when you either make the

transition successfully... Hey, boy.

...or you spend the rest of your time in a nightmare.

Hey, boy.

How's the hell of a game you played?

In junior high school.

No kid like you could make the big leagues.

I didn't feel good or... I'm telling you, you really could.

Bad.

Of course, you're a little skinny right now, but I know you're going to grow

into it.

All right.

I'll tell you one other thing.

Wrong. You're a good-looking kid.

You're really good-looking.

Well, maybe a little withdrawn.

God, I bet you're wild in bed, ain't you?

What blows my mind, though, is that I was aware even then... I bet you got a

lot of chicks, too, haven't you?

...of the dividing point between men and women.

No matter how close a male and female become, there's always a little

invisible wall between them.

Check divorce statistics.

Anyway, it really started to bug the shit out of me because on the surface,

I...

pretended to go along I found myself in strange places like locker rooms

standing around listening to assholes in sweaty jockstraps sprouting such great

lines as hey did you knock that broad off Jack or who cares if she is a nigger

she's a great head job you see when women aren't around guys speak

differently and it's the same with women There's always a difference in the air

when guys are speaking with guys and women are speaking with women.

The dialogue doesn't necessarily have to be gross or even have anything to do

with sex.

No, all that crap just amounted to verbal and physical ugliness.

Even the autistic people I know are just preoccupied with who's balling whom.

Well, anyway, I felt like I had to try.

Even when I'd get a relationship started back in my nervous days of puberty, I

always screwed up. I found girls all right.

It's just I never felt the sexual drive with them that I felt with a guy.

I bet you when those chickies get a hold of you and your thing, it became

a fantasy world with me.

I bet you they never let go when they do that.

I bet you they'll stay with you all night.

They want to stay with you all the time, don't they?

Half horror and just half wonder.

Everybody masturbates.

But with me, it became my whole world.

Shit, baby.

Between my parents screaming at me. Stop that, Xavier.

Every time I was pulling my pudding in society, I was so...

guilt-ridden. God, I thought I was cracking.

I can remember my mom yelling lines at me like, Xavier, keep that up and you'll

go crazy.

And another one was, stop that, Xavier, or you'll go blind.

Well, one day in the middle of pulling my foot and I shouted back, how about

letting me keep going until I need glasses?

Xavier, that's no way to talk to your mother.

How much more of this do you want, honey? I have to pick up Bruce in a half

an hour.

Not really. I'm just getting a little uptight.

We can stop right now.

We'll pick it up another time.

But I really appreciate your coming over and letting me do this whole shtick with

you. Okay, what'll it be, gang? Coffee, tea, or grass?

Thank you, Shelly.

I know you'll really be happy with what we shot tonight.

Carol, darling, if I didn't dig you so much, I'd never do this corny this-is

-your-life thing. It's too much of an emotional bloodbath for me.

You know,

that's exactly why I'm so involved in my work.

But if you get an honest film, somebody somewhere will see it.

And maybe they'll do something to help someone get equal rights.

Far out.

You keep rocking, I'll keep rolling, and maybe we'll make it.

God, I'm getting maudlin. I better split before I drown everyone in the room in

my tears.

And that's not ladylike.

Okay, Butch, keep in touch and watch those glory holes.

You never know what sits on the other side of those doors.

Good night, all. Ciao.

Ciao.

Parents, it's 10 o'clock.

Do you know where your children are?

Kids. Before you leave, I want to impress upon you both how important

tomorrow's session will be to you.

Be prepared to experience something that you've never felt before.

In fact, most people go through their whole lives without ever really knowing

the joy and beauty there is in the world for them, if only they'd reach out for

it.

You're both beautiful. You've got everything.

You're pure. You're natural.

And you're full of love.

So when you go home tonight, Carol was one of the few people I'd ever met who

really understood what love was all about.

Love for her was something to share.

Hold me.

Oh, hold me.

Here. Oh, I need you.

You're a very nauseous little lady.

And your skin is like... Rose petals?

Last time you said it was like a baby's.

Well, this time it's just sexy.

Skin turns you on.

Uh-huh.

Some men dig legs.

Some dig curvy behinds. But me?

I like skin. Lots.

Lots of skin.

Tony, if I left school, could I live here with you?

No. Why not? We're friends, aren't we?

Yeah. Then why not?

Maggie, if we lived together, we wouldn't be friends.

Look, I have no intentions of falling in love with you, if that's what you mean.

Maggie, what do you want?

A male doll that you wind up and it plays lover?

I'm looking for a thrill a minute. Have you got one?

Maggie, why in the hell can't you be satisfied with the way life is?

What do you got to make it out to be something it isn't? You know what life

is. It stinks.

That's where I drink cheap wine, ball over sex surfers, and play movie star.

I'm going to be somebody important.

Somebody you won't forget.

Satisfied? How the hell do you get satisfied?

I've got a great idea.

Why don't we both drink some of that cheap red wine?

Tony,

what was the name of that friend of yours with that dumpy wife?

Which one?

You know, the agent.

The one you said wanted to go to bed with me.

Well, I know three agents with dumpy wives, honey.

Each one wanted to go to bed with you.

Well, this one was about so high, wore tight pants, and smelled of Noxzema.

Noxzema?

Oh, you mean Joe Kelly?

Yes, that's his name.

I don't suppose you'd give him a call for me. I mean, as a good friend?

Oh, for Christ's sakes, Maggie.

Why don't you just go through my VIP list and pick out whatever you want?

Money, position, influence?

Lover, if I'm going to be living here with you, I want to get to know all your

close friends.

Let

me

do that.

What do you say?

I told you it'd be easy.

Well, Meg, it's a great place to live.

What do you have to do?

Do? You know.

I told you, always say what you mean.

You have to go to bed with him.

If I want.

Try the wine.

Thanks.

Tony's really very nice. I think he likes you.

Well, I like him.

Tastes good.

Tastes bad, but it does something for me.

You know, men like Tony can be very convenient friends.

They know all the right people, take you to all the in places.

It doesn't hurt to make them happy.

For a while, anyway.

You know, Maggie, it's really exciting watching the things that you do. I mean,

it really is.

You always are so sure of yourself. You always know exactly where you're going.

Well right now I'm going into the other room and make a down payment on some

insurance.

Hello there.

Gabriella.

Gabriella.

I was getting my suit. It was wet.

Were you watching?

Yeah. For long?

A little while.

Gabriella, give me your hand.

I thought I'd get some more wine.

No, you didn't.

Yeah, I thought if I... Gabriella, say it like it is.

Say what you really want.

I... Maggie, I don't want... You're turned on, aren't you, Gabriella?

Tell Tony what you want.

Remember it's like a down payment.

I want to make love.

I want a ball.

Gabriella, this is Wally.

Hi.

Well, isn't he absolutely beautiful?

Carla's told me a lot about you.

I hope not too much.

How do you like the university?

It's fine, if you dig universities.

Listen, Carla, I'm going to split now. I'll see you later. Oh, baby, listen.

Will you move some of your gear out of that spare bedroom?

Gabriella's going to stay with us for the weekend.

Look at you. I don't want to be any trouble.

What trouble?

No trouble.

It'll be groovy. See you later.

Later.

Well, what do you think of him?

Big boy.

Boy or man, my dear, nature has decreed that the male, generally speaking, is

larger and more muscular.

So in that sense, he's physically stronger.

But number-wise, I mean like a woman.

Mm-hmm.

I don't think there's any question about that.

Women are better able to tolerate exposures to heat and cold.

starvation, shock.

And we're less susceptible to things like baldness, colorblindness, skin

cysts, stomach ulcers, heart attacks.

That's a well-known fact that we women live longer than men.

We've got everything going.

But I don't get it, Carla.

You've got everything going.

You've got looks, brains, money.

Why a boy like Wally?

Hey, you don't think I'm in love with that freshman, do you?

Oh, honey.

Well, he's barely 18.

He's fresh, unjaded, and kept.

No, I just give him a roof over his head and put some money in his pocket every

now and then and kiss him goodnight. That's all.

But you could have any man.

I still do.

It's just that...

There's this great excitement in being the lion instead of the lamb.

The aggressor.

The one who makes love for the change.

Carla, you sleep with him? All the time.

Gabrielle, Gabrielle, don't you understand?

You know, I'm not trying to cultivate a farm system or program a sex machine.

I'm making love happen, not absorbing it like some sponge or some clam that gets

its kicks every now and then.

It's beautiful.

It's exciting.

And it's the wildest kick I've ever had.

Oh, and baby, I'm going to share it all with you.

I was talking to this guy. His sister works over at one of those massage

parlors in Santa Monica.

Well, it's an honorable profession.

Yeah. Well, she's a part-time student, so she just sits around and reads most

of the time.

Then these guys come in. They get all turned on in the nude.

Then they pay 40 bucks for a bath and a rubdown.

40 bucks?

Well, Wally, what the hell do you expect for 40 bucks?

Personality and companionship?

I don't know, but they ought to get something.

I mean, 40 bucks?

We are all intoxicated with sexual desires.

Puritanism. is not around the corner.

And puritanism is not going to change our sexual behavior, or the way we

think, or the way we feel, or the way we touch, or the way we taste.

Yeah, what do you want to bet?

Black or white, I guess we're all the same.

Sometimes.

But black girls have to work a little harder at it.

You know something, honey?

The sooner you realize that it's all wrapped up in the sex game we play, the

better off you'll be.

The better the body, the better the brakes.

Got it?

Why can't the joining of a man and a woman add up to something more than two?

Because it never will.

Because we either go topless or bottomless with a plastic object.

And the sisters that participate, either for the buck or just to rip off the

system, well, they betray you and me.

You believe in women's lip?

They believe in me.

My body. My brains.

Black is beautiful.

You're beautiful.

Take the playboy bunny, the one-night-stand swinger, the who-needs-a

-man radical femme, or the double-standard chauvinist male.

Porno buyers and sellers.

Dirty books, filthy movies. God, they all add up to one great mechanical orgy.

Or the unpardonable thing of one person making love to himself.

Now, why don't you and Wally go for a long, long walk?

Before I can work threesome into this conversation.

I guess it all started that day I was playing volleyball on the beach.

She kept looking at me, like she knew something I didn't.

Then we just met.

Well, how?

I mean, how did you meet?

I was body surfing, and I finally caught this really good one.

It turned out to be all whitewater. But when I reached the beach, she was there,

standing by me, looking down. What did she say?

She didn't have to say anything.

The potty like she has?

I guess all I wanted to do was look.

How did you become friends?

Well, I admit it was kind of heavy.

I mean, Carla being four years older and all. Not that that has a lot to do with

it, but I don't know.

It just looks like you usually want to be with older guys, I guess.

Well, sometimes, Wally, we really don't know what we want.

Carla does, and that's... It's a fantastic relationship.

Do you dig relationships?

Depends.

Got a girl?

I see her a lot.

You like her a lot?

She's a lot of fun.

You want to know something?

What? You kind of remind me of her.

I do?

Both kind of quiet.

Well, maybe that's because we're both good listeners.

Or maybe it's because we both know what men like.

You know what you like?

Oh, I like cheeseburgers a lot. No, I mean with the opposite sex.

Yes, ma'am, I like sex, yes.

You know, Wally, you remind me of someone I used to go with, too.

I do?

Uh-huh.

Someone I was very fond of.

He's kind, sensitive, a very gentle human being.

Wally, are you gentle?

I guess. Why?

Because I like men to be kind of gentle.

My father was just the opposite.

He was always loud.

Beautiful! You forgot to give me the message. Now you probably lost me the

goddamn account.

My mother and he used to yell at each other and it was one argument after

another.

And I'd die if I didn't get out of there.

All I could think of or wanted was to be with Stefan.

and to run run away and be free and to be loved

Thank you.

Long see me.

Welcome, sister.

Nothing that is done with tenderness, with affection, with love is

wrong. There's only harshness and coldness and cruelty

that's wrong.

And remember, nothing, nothing's everlasting.

A castle stone in a noble land

can be so fragile just like one blade.

I couldn't resist the invitation.

Well, I promise you won't be sorry. You hungry?

Starved. Well, John will be down soon, and we'll meet him after lunch, okay?

Okay.

Well, this is really nice.

Who belongs to it?

You and me, if we want it.

Come on, let's go. I've got a million things to tell you. Okay.

I don't know what's worse for you, nicotine or Benzedrine. What do you

think? I don't know.

I don't remember which girls' school it was, but we had this big bottle of

Yellow Uppers.

Oh, I do. It was in Zurich.

My best friend was a girl named Amy.

How old were you then?

Oh, I was about 13.

Amy was a year older.

She was from New York, and I was from nowhere.

You know, I went to a lot of very straight and fashionable schools for

young ladies. Only I wasn't so straight and fashionable sometimes, so I was

politely asked to leave.

I wonder whatever became of Amy.

Heather, what about your people?

Divorced. Mother lives in Paris and father plays with dolls.

You believe in marriage?

Yeah, I believe in marriage.

Without the license?

I don't know.

If it was the right man and I really loved him, yeah.

Yeah, but why do you need a minister to say it's cool for two people to live

together? I mean, nothing is permanent except your freedom.

Nothing lasts forever.

Well, you're right about that. I know I am.

Look, when I was 17, I lived with this guy.

His name was Howard.

He had blue eyes and one dozen freckles. And he chain-smoked herbert terratins.

He was 25 and a career student that bit his nails and drank coffee non-stop.

I really like that bastard.

He cared about me.

What happened?

Well, because of his expert carnal knowledge, we remained sexually faithful

to each other.

Totally free and independent.

That is until my folks caught up with me and gave me that classic speech about

what is a nice girl like me doing in a place like this.

And then off to a very fashionable girl's school I went.

Did you ever see him again?

No, but we really didn't have one of those heavy breathing, heart clutching

type of romances anyway.

It was just sort of convenient for me, that's all.

Listen, I bored you to death with my Cosmopolitan magazine story. Now let's

go have some fun.

Hey, Heather.

He didn't bore me. I was interested.

I really wanted to hear what you told me.

Listen, Gabriella.

There's just one thing for you to remember.

Have a ball.

Because life's just one great big celebration.

As long as you're the one that's giving the party.

Gabrielle, did you ever make up dreams?

No, I don't think so.

Why?

Well, ever since puberty, I used to make up these wild pornographic dreams.

I was the centerfold playgirl, and all these men would kiss me and fondle my

body. What kind of men?

Well, he used to look like Woody Allen.

But as I grew up, it was Paul Newman or Richard Burton.

I guess I just happened to dig older type men, that's all.

How about you?

Me? Oh, I don't know.

Well, how about your old man? I mean, most girls have a crush on their fathers

at one time or another.

Well, I'm one girl that didn't get that hang-up.

Wow, I really dislike that man.

You really mean that, don't you?

My parents always disliked each other.

In fact, I can't remember them ever saying one nice thing to one another.

Well, it'll never rank as one of the classic love affairs of all time, that's

for sure.

My mother and father had absolutely no relationship to anything they did

together. And I think the only common denominator they had was making love.

Drop dead, you creep.

Hey kid, I want to tell you something.

Then my father always gave me his pearls of wisdom for the day.

Like, good girls don't play around, or if I ever got pregnant with some boy,

don't come crawling to him for help.

My dear father's morals were really something.

Like all men, he set his own double standards.

And his idea of a big night on the town was to cruise Sunset Boulevard looking

for action.

Cazares, baby, that's where it's all at.

Psychedelic sounds, psychedelic sights, and the people, what do you name your

type, and it's sure to be floating around somewhere at Cazares, where

everybody comes sooner or later.

We're located at 9039 West Sunset Boulevard on the better side of the

Sunset Strip.

Now you get it all together and bring it to Casares.

That's 9039 West Sunset Boulevard.

And we'll see you over there.

Right now we'd like to play the number four tune on the Jots, and it's really a

wild one.

Hey, uh, reprint, man. Here, you want copies? Uh, 25 cents.

Look at that. God, it's spaced out. Yeah, yeah, here it is.

Pictures abroad. It's in the back.

25 cent come on you want the paper no wait you forgot to give me the bread for

it yeah

he usually tried to pick up some young tender body that was thumb-tripping

besides a ride they usually needed money and usually they'd do anything for it

His usual routine was to drop into a few go-go clubs looking for young females.

And you know something?

He always found them.

I think you're beautiful, and I'm going to help you, too.

That's right. Wait a minute. Hey, waitress, make that a double on a

martini. Right.

Charlie, two double martinis, extra dry.

Mr. Char is going through another one of his numbers.

Getting whacked out of his gourd.

You know, speaking of love, why don't you bring a change of clothes tonight

when you come to my place?

The wife and kids are in San Diego for the weekend.

What do I need clothes for? I never get out of bed anyway.

going to help me? Baby, I'm gonna make you a superstar.

So my dear beloved father scored and another young tender girl bit the dust.

My good father passed away over a year ago.

You want to know something?

He cried at his funeral.

Well, he wasn't father.

I didn't cry because of that.

I cried because I never had him.

Ah, how's me proud beauty?

You'll excuse me.

No, I can't. I'm obsessed by your body, and I've got to bite your nose off your

face. I know that, John, but let me go. This is my friend, Andrea. Hello.

Welcome. Welcome to Sin City. My house is your house.

Thank you. Don't thank me, because I'm thinking of mad, crazy, delightful

things, like chaining your lovely body below deck and giving you to the crew.

That's because you're mad, crazy, and impossible.

That's because I had an impossible childhood. I discovered scotch when I

was six years old. All right, down to the business at hand.

Dave and Marcia are topside, soaking up all the sun and discussing all my evil

and vile qualities. Anything I should hear? Only that I'm a villainous and

immoral man who devours young and virtuous maidens.

Gabriella, he sounds dangerous.

Dangerous? No.

Intoxicated? Yes.

And I have this bad, bad habit.

What's that?

I want to make love to every woman I meet.

I really don't know what all the fuss is about.

So a few more people are unemployed and the business rates go up and down like a

bitch in heat.

But it always seems to work out all right. True, true.

Darling, what I meant was money investments today can be a bit more

precarious, that's all. Well, with the fluctuating dollar.

Did you know that the German mark is...

You are undoubtedly the great investment broker of all time.

Thank you, John.

Now, here we are, you and I, two men of the world with three of the loveliest

creatures on the face of the earth.

And you're talking about recession, gross national debt, and figures.

I don't mind, really.

I'd like to hear more about it. Well, I don't mind figures either when they look

like yours.

John, you may be an expert, but you don't understand women.

Today's modern woman's educated.

It's just a matter of time until you males will all be in our fiscal control.

Well, maybe, but I'm from the old school. I prefer my women soft, squeezy.

And tender and loving and full of pleasure.

Yes. Yes.

Speaking of all that,

the bottle is empty.

My dear, I think we should wend our way to the cellar and find wine for my

friends.

He may never return.

John's right, Gabriella.

You do have a beautiful body.

Hasn't she, Dave?

Do you exercise?

A little, but I enjoy being active.

You go to school with Heather, don't you?

Yes, I live at the university.

Oh, and one of those co-educational dormitories?

Yeah, it's really wild.

I'll bet.

How do you manage to get any sleep?

Much less any studying done.

With all those young bulls on the loose. My God, it must be like Disneyland.

Want to know something?

Yes.

It's much better.

When I was young, somebody said it was just kid stuff.

To talk about sex.

That it was much more fun to do it. That somebody should get the Nobel Peace

Prize.

Well, I thought that was the cleverest remark I'd ever heard, but it was wrong.

It is fun to talk about.

All right, as long as we're on the topic of sex.

We're opening the new club in Jamaica next month.

Why don't you come down with me?

And what would I be, Miss September or Miss November? Or just one of the girls?

You could have the whole calendar if you wanted it, you know that.

I don't think I want to share all those months with just one man.

You're fantastic.

You know, that's really something.

If I could package you, you'd be the centerfold of all centerfolds. Oh,

that's really a great achievement.

Miss Centerfold.

Isn't that something to shoot for?

I know a lot of girls who haven't done bad by it.

Well, I'm not a lot of other girls.

I'm me.

And my idea of success is not to have a picture of my body hanging in some

adolescent locker room.

Oh, I see.

Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.

Exactly.

All you have to do is treat me with tender, loving care.

Now, if you follow through with a low shot, using the backhand, it's a

devastating stroke.

I see what you mean.

That's far out. I was turning my wrist too far. Let's try it again.

Gabriella, why don't you come out to our place for the weekend?

We have our own tennis court and we'd love to have you.

Thank you. Hey, that's a terrific idea. You know, Marcia's even a better player

than I am. Really?

Not physically, darling, but I do play to win.

Oh, darling, would you mind? I seem to be out of cigarettes.

I quit.

Never felt better in my whole life. You know, I'm beginning to smell things

that... Darling, please, would you get some for me?

One of these days, I'm going to get you to stop. Got to build up that old

endurance. Look what he's done for you.

Dave likes you.

I like him.

He's very nice. No, I mean, he really does.

I think I should feel jealous.

Beautiful young girl involved with my husband?

Involved?

You know, an older man can be very interesting to a bright young woman.

I suppose he could.

I wish we'd known each other last Christmas.

You'd have made a wonderful gift for Dave. I never knew what to buy him.

You mean for the man who was everything?

Marcia, you're putting me on.

A little bit.

But if I were serious, I'd have no objections if Dave wanted to have an

affair with you or you with him.

I mean, as long as it didn't get out of hand.

You're saying that it's okay with you if your husband and I make love?

Honey, love has nothing to do with it.

He's obviously physically attracted to you.

And he's a perfect gentleman, both in and out of bed.

Well, supposing I don't feel the same way?

I mean, supposing I tell your husband to go to hell?

You'd hurt his feelings.

And I wouldn't want you to do that.

Gabriella, listen to me.

I have everything a woman can want.

Money, security, a certain freedom and independence, and a social life that

you'd say was out of sight.

I have friends on every continent, and I summer on the Mediterranean, and I

winter in our house in Acapulco.

Now, what would have happened to all those beautiful things if ten years ago

I told Dave to go to hell?

You know, when I first met you, I had visions of long lines of virgins and non

-virgins banging on your door every night.

After all, I'd never met a millionaire flesh peddler before.

Did competition scare you?

No.

Because I never intended getting in line.

Besides, Mr. Hammond, what can you offer me? A Greek island?

Make me princess of Monaco? No.

No, I'm afraid not.

But I can offer you experience, excitement, all expenses paid.

Anything else?

I'll even throw in an incestuous father's wisdom and concern.

They say that daughters are always in love with their fathers.

Do you think I have a father hang-up about you? I'm too young to be your

father. Besides, daughters always outgrow their fathers.

I should think it would be very difficult to outgrow you.

Oh, would you like a drink?

No, thanks. I don't drink.

I've been wondering, Gabriella, how do you get along?

Along? How do you mean?

Financially.

After all, tuition, clothes, and all the necessities a girl likes cost a lot of

money. Yeah, well, I get by. I mean, I work at the library at the university.

You know, a girl like you has great potential.

In what way?

Poise, personality, intelligence.

Obviously, sex appeal.

You really should put it to work for you.

Market it.

Well, you're the businessman.

What do you suggest?

There are two or three things.

Number one, I find you attractive.

Attractive to me.

Number two,

Marcia and you and I could become very good friends.

Number three?

I could help you financially.

And in many other ways.

Dave, do you want to keep me?

Well, I think arrangement is a better word for it. That is, if you think you'd

be happy with it.

I don't know.

Nobody's ever offered to have an arrangement with me before.

Do you use the pill?

No.

Diaphragm?

Very not Would you mind me my top,

please?

All right

Thank

you and beautifully girls well

What do you say?

Of course, if you think you need time to think it over, I... Dave, I don't need

any time to think that.

My answer is yes.

I'm looking forward to being your friend and Marcia's.

Dave, are you coming up?

Yes, darling.

Gabriella and I will be up in a minute.

You know, Dave, I think this is going to be a very far-out arrangement.

I mean, like, here it is, the second semester, and I'm still doing the same

old things.

I'd like to do all of those things you do, you know? Like, you're always going

to fun places like Jamaica and Acapulco, and you're always doing exciting things

and meeting, like, new, interesting people, and... Oh, you know.

I'm really jealous of you.

Look, Susan, you can do it, too.

It's really simple.

I was in your place a year ago, and I learned...

that whatever you want, you can do.

Well, I'm afraid it's not that easy.

I mean, take men, for instance.

I don't know how to handle them.

Okay, I know what they always want.

But I mean, let's face it, I'm chicken.

I know. I went through the same trip.

But I learned that it's not what they want that matters. It's what you want.

Susan, listen to me.

You've got to understand the game before you can play it.

And then you can get the most out of men.

Well, I'm afraid I've got a lot to learn.

With your face and your figure, you won't have any problem.

I'll help you.

You will?

But you've got to agree to do anything I say, because otherwise it won't work.

You've got to commit your mind and your body.

Gabriella, I will do anything you say.

Okay.

The most important thing you've got to learn is you've got to be free and

independent, because that's what it's all about, doing what you want to do.

Sue, loving is beautiful, and we're beautiful, and it works.

Oh, wow.

That really stretches the mind.

Okay, we'll start tonight.

I want you to meet a good friend of mine. He's in the music business.

And he's really a far-out man with a far-out house.

Now, he might seem a bit older to you at first, but after a while, Susan, you'll

find that they're really all the same from 18 to 50.

Because once you understand men, they're really a very useful animal.

In a noble land, can be so fragile just like

one blade of sand.

When the warped and rude crack and leak,

it makes the condition a little bit too weak.

The castle crumbles.