Original subtitles

What the hell is the matter with this damn thing?

Come on. All right.

All right. Come on.

Look at that penalty.

Come on. Come on, baby. Move it.

Move it. All right.

No. Go for the field goal. Putts, you'll get murdered.

No. Come on. All right. First down. All right. All right. Yeah.

Come on. Dig.

Dig. Dig.

All right. All right. All right.

Come on, we're waiting for you.

All right.

Yeah, same for you, Howard.

Come on.

Touchdown!

Listen, I'm sorry, but I gotta see how this game turns out.

I'll watch that with you tomorrow night.

Bullshit!

Tomorrow's Monday night.

You know, Monday fucking night football.

Tomorrow's the day when all your buddies come over to guzzle beer and pee in the

hot tub.

Oh, fuck. Watch fucking Monday night football.

You spend all day watching some know-it-all asshole in a two-dollar

hairpiece. I don't believe it.

And Tuesday, you go out and you play tackle fucking football.

And Wednesday, you go out and you coach some little football fucking leaguers.

And Thursday, you watch fucking football reruns.

And then Friday, it's a let fucking try. Football.

And then Saturday, it starts all over again.

If you don't want to do anything else, then fuck you.

I'm glad you think it's funny.

I was furious.

God, you know, I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

You'd think I'd be worth more than a football game.

Or maybe not.

I don't know.

Well, I sure don't feel like I can give him what he wants.

Yeah, I'm feeling kind of penned up.

This afternoon?

Oh, yeah, I'd love that. That'd be fun.

Okay.

Okay, then we'll talk to you later at the club.

Okay. Bye-bye.

Thank you.

I nearly died when Betty called me. I said, well, good for her. She's finally

getting liberated.

Yeah, Sidney was no better.

That's why I divorced him. He left me alone all summer.

He had a season's ticket to the Yankee Stadium.

He zipped straight from the office to the box seat.

Well, with Roger, it was basketball.

That's why last season I finally decided to go to ladies' night over at the

Diplomat Club.

He never told me that. Well, I didn't want to shock you.

Isn't that where the men strip?

Same place.

Uh, I don't know about that bar scene.

It's not a single bar, Angie.

Geez, it's practically all women, and the only guys in there are the ones that

serve the drinks or the dance on the stage.

Don't look at me. I don't know. I've never been there.

Come on, Betty.

Like I always say, if there's no food in the kitchen, you gotta eat out.

Well...

I'll try anything good for you

And that's what it's all about, huh? We're having a swell time here.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for.

Finals. The Wets.

underwear contest.

Dozens are waiting backstage as the finalists are.

From Encino, California, an electrical engineer, a motion picture director, Bob

Bigelow. Let's hear it for Bob. Big Bob Bigelow.

That's number two.

From Guadalajara, Mexico, he's a medical student, Dennis McKinnick. Let's hear it

for Dennis.

Number one, Bob Bigelow.

That's number two, Dennis McKinnick. Remember him.

Tell me, lovely ladies, what do we like to see here at the Diplomat Club?

What do we like to see more than anything?

We like to see them wet, don't we?

Wet them up, ladies!

Thank you.

Number one, Bob Bigelow.

Or number two, Dennis McKinnick.

Let's hear it for contestant number one, Bob Bigelow.

Or number two, that medical student from Guadalajara University, Dennis

McKinnick.

It's gonna be another night for you.

Dennis, the winner!

A wonderful time.

But there's other things in life, aren't there?

I've been singing here at the Diplomatic Club for seven years now.

The other day I went to the opening day of the Giants game.

I saw a lot of wonderful, wonderful people there. They reminded me of you

people.

Feelings.

Feelings like I never lost you.

Feelings like...

I never had you here in my heart.

Feelings.

Oh, oh, oh.

Feelings.

Oh, oh, oh.

Feelings.

Again in my heart.

We're having fun, fun, fun tonight till my daddy takes the T-Bird away.

But now comes that very special time of the evening where I'm going to choose

one of you.

lovely ladies, to be my assistant in tonight's project.

Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night.

Tonight there will be no morning star.

Me? Me? Yeah,

take me.

A star?

Come up here, my star, my lovely star.

Isn't she beautiful?

She reminds me of all those wonderful things in my life, like... A kiss is

just a kiss.

A sigh is just a sigh.

The fundamental things apply as time goes by.

And when two lovers woo, they still say,

I love you.

on that you can rely the world will always

welcome lovers as time goes by

Beautiful love.

It's so nice to be back here with you We don't have to act I can just be real

with you

thank you

Ah!

Yeah.

Thank you.

Good. Good.

Hi,

baby. Good morning, dear.

Yeah, you're out pretty early this morning, huh? Yeah.

You having fun with the girls last night?

Uh, yeah. It was very nice.

I think I'll do it more often.

Gives you a chance to have it alone with the guys on Monday nights.

You're a rowdy group, though.

Yeah. I have a present for you.

You do?

Oh, sweetheart, that's beautiful.

Like it? A wrist TV.

Yeah.

Fantastic.

That is amazing.

That's incredible.

Look at that.

Hey,

what do you think? How does it look?

It looks really balanced, baby.

It's beautiful, I love it.

Jesus. The football game's on. Oh, wow. Yeah, okay.

All right.

All right, look at that. That is incredible.

There's the guys in the red shirts and the guys in the blue.

Come on, set it up.

Look at those guys down there.

Those little guys down there.

All right.

Hey, there's that punks from the other day.

They got them back playing again. Figures, huh?

Look at them.

That is incredible.

That is really amazing.

That's better than the better reception I get on those other sets. You know what

I mean?

I'm glad you like it. Oh, I love it. That's beautiful.