Original subtitles

Thank you.

You know this is the best cast I've ever been in?

Thank you.

To L.C. Crimps, sales manager.

Accident policy for Mr. Red Purdy. Bad risk.

Further remarks.

Preliminary investigation discloses that subject has been turned down by five

other companies in the local area alone.

It is obvious...

Mr. Purdy is one of those unfortunate individuals that psychiatrists describe

as accident-prone.

Therefore, I strongly recommend that application be turned down.

Period.

you

Somebody call an ambulance. I saw the whole thing.

Crossed against the signal. Stand back, folks. Give him air. Give him air.

Don't even breathe on him.

In case of accident, notify Dr.

Delby. Some doctors don't care where they advertise.

That was my burglar alarm.

You must be from the plumbing company.

I was expecting Mr. Ingram, but... Gee, he's not half as pretty as you are.

But I'm not from the plumbing company. I'm... My bathroom's a mess. I'll have

to tidy it up a bit before you can see it.

You know, I'm an awful good housekeeper, and good housekeepers are hard to get

and to keep.

Gee, I hope I don't quit.

Oh, that's a rope ladder in case of fire. I invented that myself.

I got a sprinkling system, too, with a new type rotary head. Look, I got $78

for that last week.

Oh, that's very nice. Now, Mr. Purdy... Say, I've got another little gadget that

your plumbing company might be interested in. Mr. Purdy, I am not a

lady plumber.

You're not? No, I'm Ellen Goodrich from the Yellow Cab Company, claims

adjustment department.

Oh? Now, we're willing to discuss a settlement of your recent accident.

Of course, the company and I feel it was mainly your fault. Oh, of course.

Consequently, we think that if we were to... What?

Yeah, it's always my fault. I don't know how or why but happens to me all the

time Besides I wouldn't want to get that poor little cab driver into trouble. Oh,

no. Well then in that case, mr. Purdy You won't mind signing his paper

absolving our company of all responsibility.

Oh I We understand and agree that this oh, thank you. I

You see, that sends off a terrific amount of heat to the ceiling. My

sprinklers are adjusted to a very low set-off temperature.

The last time I turned that lamp on, my sofa got so wet that every time I laid

down to take a nap, I just sort of drifted off to sleep.

Oh, yes.

Well, I'm very pressed for time, Mr. Purdy. Oh, I'm sorry.

You know, this is not the first accident I was ever in and never got anything out

of. I've been hit by so many cars, I ought to join the automobile club. I'd

like to be on the winning end for a change.

I guess you think I'm just careless, don't you? Well, I'm not. I've dedicated

my entire life to caution.

You know, even my work.

I invent safety devices. Yes, I know, I know. Would you please, right here.

I wouldn't sign that paper if I were you, Mr. Burdi. Well, you've been

asking... Oh, it's you again, creepy.

Honey.

It's very nice to see you again, Miss Goodrich. My card. I'd like to know how

you always managed to get here so soon.

Martin Creevey, attorney at law.

Martin Creevey, ambulance chaser. You're very unkind, Miss Goodrich.

My reputation as a defender of the public against corporate indifference is

very well known.

You've got a cut and dry case here. That's not true.

Mr. Purdy is ready and willing to sign the quit claim. Here, Mr. Purdy. It's

obvious you've taken unfair advantage of him. Taken advantage?

Why, you... you... The least you could do is remove your hat.

That's a courtesy I reserve for a lady.

Oh! Sign here.

Here, try it here. Go on, hit me with it. Go ahead.

Anytime, you're ready. Go ahead.

How do you like that?

Purdy's Impenetrable Superview Elastiglass.

It didn't break. That's right, it just bends. I've been working on this

invention for years.

Now she's ready to go. Come here, let me show you something.

You think that was something?

Watch this.

This is amazing.

Perfect visibility.

Just think what this will mean to the automobile industry.

Windshields made out of my elastic glass.

Do you realize that 99% of all incidents in automobile accidents are head

injuries? I know, because I've had all 99.

I'm impressed.

This is astonishing.

Can you imagine what a court trial would mean to your wonderful discovery?

Why, the publicity alone would be worth thousands.

Say, you've got something here. Now, just a minute, Mr. Purdy. Publicity can

be harmful, too.

Is your whatever you call this thing protected?

Well, no, not yet. You mean you haven't got a patent? Well, no, I had a little

trouble patenting it because of the process. Oh, I see.

You see, the whole secret is in the way I make it. And I've got that in my head.

The greatest little safety deposit box ever invented.

Nobody can open it. Nobody can get a thing out of it. But don't you see,

until you're sure of your patent, somebody might steal it from you. I

think I can get somebody to... Now, on the other hand, I might be able to get

Mr. Hendricks interested in your glass.

Who? He's the president of our company. Really? Be careful, Mr. Purdy. This is a

trap. Just think of it.

Thousands of yellow caps.

equipped with your glass.

Millions of heads bouncing harmlessly off of windows and windshields. Gosh, no

abrasions. That's right.

Now sit down and sign this paper, and I'll see if I can get you a

demonstration with Mr. Hendricks himself.

I think you're making a grave mistake.

I'm sorry, Mr. Kirby.

Oh, well, you can have my next accident. I promise.

All right.

And as for you, young lady, I'll leave you to grapple with your conscience.

If you have one. Good day.

Now, about my demonstration, Miss Goodrich. How about tomorrow morning at

9.30? Will that be okay?

You shouldn't be seen in my office. I've stuck my neck out far enough.

Oh, you stuck your neck out before?

You know, tipping off a lawyer about cases against your own company is a

serious matter.

I did it once, and you've been blackmailing me ever since.

Blackmailing?

I prefer that you thought you were doing me a personal favor.

Personal favor.

I intend to cut myself in on a million dollars.

A million dollars locked in the mind of one Red Purdy.

And whether you like it or not, Tomlin, you're going to help me.

I don't want any part of it.

I've done all I'm going to do.

It's very simple.

All you've got to do is switch Mr.

Purdy's glass just before the demonstration.

You all know our president, Mr. Hendricks. Good morning. Good morning.

Well, gentlemen of the press, I am as hopeful as you are that today will be a

bright page in the development of automotive safety.

Well, Miss Goodrich, where's your brilliant young inventor?

Well, it's just 9.30. He should be here any moment.

Right in here. Thank you.

Oh.

It's not as interesting as the ones they have down at the beach.

Mr. Purdy.

Oh, good morning, Miss Goodrich. I'm sorry I was late. I'm working on a new

invention. A bumper for automobiles with a rubber stamp on it when you hit a

pedestrian that says, knocked out in California.

Mr. Purdy, I'd like to introduce... Mr.

Hendricks, our president.

Oh, how are you, Mr. Hendricks? I'm glad to meet you. I'm Tomlin. I'll set your

glass up for you. That's Mr.

Hendricks.

Young man, I am...

These gentlemen are from the Daily Record and the Tribune. I read the Daily

Record all the time. I'm from the Tribune. Say, I am going to... Mr.

Hendricks was just telling these newspaper men about his interest in

safety.

Say,

Miss Goodrich, tell us some more about this new type of glass.

You'll see it demonstrated by the inventor himself in just a few moments.

But I can assure you it's the most amazing scientific discovery of its kind

in 20 years.

Miss Goodrich, will you get me that sword?

Gentlemen,

I want you to see this.

It is something of which we are very proud. This award was given to us by the

Women's and Children's Confederated Safety Council for our development of

the roller-bearing spring-controlled gravitator. That's my aim, Mr.

Hendricks. Safety first.

If you've got a bang in your head, do it on an elastic glass. It can't hurt.

Besides, it stimulates the scalp.

Well, I only hope that it's as good as Miss Goodrich claims it is. I'll let the

demonstration speak for itself.

Are we ready?

Gentlemen, here you see a baseball.

Now, any child knows that a baseball will break an ordinary pane of glass.

Now, if you just step aside, please.

I'll demonstrate how I'm going to make the entire world safe for every

neighborhood ball team in the country.

Oh.

Say, Mr. Hendricks, I got an idea. To make it more interesting, you get behind

the wheel.

Oh, no, I... Go ahead, Mr. Hendricks. It'll make a swell picture for the

paper.

Well, all right.

You just keep your eye on the road, Mr. Hendricks.

I'll do the rest.

Now, you've got nothing to worry about.

That, gentlemen, illustrates what happens to ordinary glass.

You notice? It's broken on both sides.

Well, back to the old demonstration.

Mr.

Hendricks, I don't know what happened. Where is it?

Something went wrong.

Let me get my hands on you.

You wouldn't. Oh, Mr. Hendricks, now put that down. You wouldn't hit me with

that. Mr. Hendricks.

I still can't understand why my elastic glass broke.

Maybe I heated it too fast. Sometimes a quick high temperature will make it

brittle. Just the same, I don't think it was very nice of Mr. Hendricks to hit

you over the head with his audio-visual depth perception test meter.

I was wondering what that thing was just before he hit me with it.

Now take it easy now.

Relax, Red. It'll be over in a minute.

I didn't mind him hitting me, but... demoting you to the lost and found

department just because you were nice to me.

Oh, well, the lost and found department isn't too bad. You can't tell. I might

even meet an interesting umbrella down there.

But seriously, what are you going to do now?

Oh, I got a lot of ideas, and there'll be another day. I don't mind a few

accidents in between.

You know, sometimes you meet the nicest people by accident.

I hope you don't think I'm fresh, Miss Goodrich, but...

Well, you sort of remind me of a girl I used to know.

Gee, she was the prettiest little thing.

I didn't mind when she busted my balloon or stepped on my popcorn, but... Well,

you see, she was three and I was five.

Hiya, Doc. Hello, man. Hello.

Mr. Poitier, I've been looking all over the building for you.

Well, I don't know why you didn't find me. Mr. Hendricks has been chasing me

all over the building. Yeah, I heard.

Say, don't I know you from somewhere?

This is Mickey Corkins, the driver whose cab you ran into yesterday.

Oh, and I want to thank you for signing that quit claim. By taking the blame,

you served my record of 30 years without an accident.

Oh, that's all right. Maybe we can run into each other again sometime.

Miss Goodrich, Miss Goodrich, you're wanted and lost and bound.

Well, back to my cage.

Goodbye, Red. I hope I see you again. Me too.

So long, Mickey. See you, Ellen. Bye, Doctor.

Being demoted.

Gosh, you wish there was something I could do. Well, there is.

Yeah, what?

Well, it's obvious, even to the naked eye. Get another demonstration.

You know your glasses, all right? All right. Get Hendricks to give you another

chance to prove it.

Yeah, that's it. Back to the old demonstration.

But how?

Well, one thing is certain.

You can't do anything from the outside.

Now, how are we going to get you in the inside?

After all, it was Hendricks that threw you out.

Let me think.

Let me think.

I got it! Got what?

How to get you another demonstration.

Oh, that's wonderful. What have I got to do?

You are going to enlist as a yellow cab man. Good.

No!

You're crazy. I can't be a cab driver. I haven't driven a car in ten years. I get

bumps when I think of my last accident.

You want to help Eleanor, don't you?

But I'm getting wumps on my bumps.

Leave everything to me, my boy.

You will get the benefit of my three decades behind the wheel.

We'll use my cab. Oh, no.

And let's hope Mr. Hendricks don't find out, for if he ever does... You took the

words right out of my mouth.

Where'd he go?

Why didn't you wait for me? I thought you were in the cab.

I've been running for 20 blocks.

Well, you said you were in a hurry.

I want my luggage.

I guess I was a little over-anxious.

Well, we'll just have a slight shipping charge for the luggage.

I'll get out of my way.

Well, you did it again.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Mickey. I'm just not cut out for this kind of work.

I may as well give up.

Give up? Yeah.

Did I hear you wanted those two miserable words, give up?

Hey, how are we gonna face Ellen again?

Golly, what a face never to face again, huh?

It's just like I said, there's only one way to restore your deflated morale.

I'm tossing you into the water alone.

You're gonna sink or swim, survive or perish.

You mean you want me to drive somewhere all by myself?

Completely without my expert guidance and support.

Oh, I don't think I'm ready to solo yet. Suppose something happened. What could

possibly happen? All I'm asking you to do is drive around the block once.

You're gonna drag the curb for a fair.

Drag the curb for a fair?

What'll I do if I get one?

Just pull over to the curb.

And remember this. The passenger is always king.

His comfort, convenience, and safety are your only concern. Get in.

Oh, look, Mickey, I don't put that on there.

Bon voyage.

The passenger is king.

His comfort, convenience, and safety are my only concern. Be courteous, be

helpful, check the cab for lost articles. No!

Taxi! Oh, a passenger.

Where to, lady?

Oh, I want to go... Oh, I've got it written down on an envelope in my bag.

Darling, keep it.

Oh, Cecil.

Ah,

lollipop good, little boy?

Yeah, you want some?

No, thank you.

Why, he took my candy.

Why, the very idea, taking candy from a baby.

Oh, now, don't you cry, darling. Mama'll get you another one. And you wait right

here! Candy snatcher!

Mommy! Mommy! Now, little boy, she'll be right back. She just went to get you

some more lollipops.

Here, here, look, look, look, look, look. See? There's my watch. A tick

-tock, see?

Tick-tock. I want the tick-tock.

Yeah?

Well, here, now, handle that easy. It has great sentimental value.

They gave that to my grandfather for 75 years with a firm. They'd have buried it

with him, but he died the year before.

That ain't funny.

Hey, what's with you anyhow?

Oh, what kind of a kid is this?

What are you doing, little boy?

Oh, that belongs... What did you do with my watch?

I mailed it to my daddy.

Oh, no, you didn't.

I ought to mail you to the nearest reform school.

This is awful. I can hear it ticking.

Oh, you.

Hey, I can hear it ticking, too. Ticking? What is it? What's the matter?

Is this your cab?

Yes, sir. With the wheels up on the sidewalk and parked in the no parking

zone and four inches away from the fire hydrant? Yes, sir.

Well, get this cab out of here.

Well, I can't. You see, this little boy's mother is... Do you want me to put

you in? No, sir. No, sir. Well, I want my mommy. I want your mommy, too. Get in

that cab and drive it off.

Come on. Well, I can't move until the little boy... Put her away.

Get that car.

There's something chicken in there.

Chicken?

I want my mommy! I want my mommy! Now, be a nice little boy. We're going to

pick her up right now.

Oh, boy!

Here, here, don't do that. Don't do that.

Here, little boy. Look out, little boy.

Where are you going?

I'm not afraid!

A small passage, but not bad for a beginning.

Be a nice little boy.

I like you. Thank you.

Here. Here.

Stop it.

What is it? It's something ticking.

We think it's a bomb. A bomb?

Beat it. Beat it. Beat it. There's a bomb in there and it might go off any

minute.

Mother's in the drugstore.

You're

late.

I've been waiting for ten minutes for you. You haven't been waiting for me.

I've got to find this little boy's mother.

That's all right. Take him to Union Station.

I can't. I'm engaged.

All right. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Thank you.

Did you hear that? Some cab driver kidnapped a baby. What? They kidnapped a

baby? Sure did. They went that way. A kidnapper? What about a kidnapper? Some

cab driver kidnapped a baby. They went around the...

I got this little boy in a car. He's not mine. His mother's waiting.

Hurry up, boys.

Turn that hose over here.

What's that, man? Get him back.

Hey, you, what do you think you're doing? Wait a minute, that's my cab.

Hey, John, get this guy out of here.

Okay,

try it open.

Stand back, you guys.

Don't go near that box till we get a hose in there.

that trouble for me, but thanks just the same.

1313. What a wonderful number.

Speech! Speech! Speech!

Well, wonderful things like this don't happen to a fellow often.

And I owe a debt of gratitude to the Yellow Cab Training School for teaching

me what it means to be a cab driver.

And now that I'm in the driver's seat, I'm going to make National Safety Week

last a whole year.

Oh, Red, that's wonderful. Congratulations.

As a member of the Yellow Cab organization, I want you to know that

I'm proud, mighty proud, to be a Yellow Cab driver.

And I... Would you mind raising the hood, please?

Thank you.

A fitting moment for a presentation such as this.

The last of its kind.

Go ahead, open it.

Go ahead, open it. Go ahead. Open it.

The voice of old number one.

My first cat.

Oh, gee me.

I don't blame you. In its day, it's frightened many a man a beast.

Well, I'll be seeing you, kids. I gotta move a fire hydrant. My cab's parked in

front of it.

Hey, come on, get busy, you guys.

Okay, bud.

One side.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, Ellen, get in. I want to show you something.

Well, how do you like it? Morning papers, fresh flowers, soft pillows, all

for the comfort and convenience of my passengers.

Oh, it all looks beautiful, Red. I just know you'll make good.

Well... Ellen, I wasn't going to tell you this, but... I mean, when I'm not

with you, it seems very easy not to tell you.

But then when I'm with you, I feel that I just gotta tell you.

Well, tell me.

Well, you've come to mean a lot to me.

And I, uh... Well, close your eyes.

What? Close your eyes.

Okay, look.

of accident notify Ellen Goodrich.

Oh, Red, I don't know what to say.

Well, you know, Ellen, when I'm with you, I feel like I'm riding on air.

Seems like I'm getting closer and closer to heaven.

Now, not that I'm rushing things, you know. Gosh, the way things stand now, a

preacher would have to write a special ceremony for awful, for worse, in

sickness and accident.

Red, you just mustn't let yourself think those things. There's nothing wrong with

you. You must believe that.

Please try.

I'll try, Helen. I'll try awful hard.

Oh, I'll really try hard.

I'll send out scouts in front of my cabin.

I'll use radar before I turn a corner.

I think I'd better get back to the lost and found.

Yeah. Oh, oh, hold it.

You all right?

Yeah, yeah.

That's the trouble with these new cars. No running boards.

He stopped down the street. The passenger's getting out.

Keep your eye on him. Let me know when he's alone.

Okay, boss.

There. That'll be exactly 75 cents.

There's a dollar.

Oh, and five.

There's 10, 20, 25, 30.

And there's five cents for you.

Oh, thank you very much.

I want to catch him before he picks up another passenger.

He went down the middle of the block. When we come by, you know what to do.

Don't worry about me, boss. I'm an expert at these falls.

Oh, hiya, Mr. Creevey.

Creevey. Oh, can I drive you somewhere?

Yes, you can drop me off at my apartment. Fine, hop right in. I'll have

you there in a jiffy.

It's nice to see you getting along so well, Rhett. Well, thanks, Mr.

Creevey.

You don't mind me driving slow and careful, do you?

Oh, safety first. That's what I always say. Yeah, that's what I always say,

too. Look out!

Let's go.

Don't anybody touch him. He's been hit by a car.

I got an emergency kit.

Don't anybody touch him till the doctor gets here.

Gotta get his shirt off, though, unless he's... Oh, good heavens.

I think he's dead.

I always forget to wind this thing.

Gee, I'm sorry, mister. You don't know how sorry I am. I wish it was me.

I don't know why it ain't, because it usually is.

Oh, look, he's moving. Well, don't stand there and do something.

Don't get excited, will you?

A tourniquet, a tourniquet. Who's got a tourniquet?

Oh,

lady, here's your curtain.

Lady, look, I'll use this for a tourniquet.

You know, that wasn't my fault. That man got right in front of my car. I was

coming down there, and for no reason at all, the man ran right out in front of

me. It wasn't my fault. I'll banish him up, though, anyhow.

Here, I told you to lay down, but he's going to stay... Where is he? What

happened? They took him away in an ambulance.

They ought to chase murderers like you off the street. They ought to hang him.

Murderer? Murderer?

Murderer? You get a grip on yourself, Red.

You're not to blame. I saw the whole thing.

I'll defend you. No, I don't want anybody to defend me.

You hear what they said?

I'm a murderer.

They shouldn't allow people like me on the street. I'm not responsible.

You trust me. They won't send you to jail. We'll get the best psychiatric

opinions available.

And we'll tear their case into shreds. There's a theme.

I'm like a big magnet. I draw trouble to me.

I don't know why. Everything happens to me.

Where'd the guy come from?

I was driving carefully, and next thing I know, bang, body's out in the street.

And those women, murderer, they call me.

I don't understand it.

I just don't understand it.

I'm driving as carefully as I could.

Who are you?

Allow me to introduce myself.

Dockstetter. Dr. Byron Dockstetter.

Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist?

Your attorney, Mr. Creavy, came to me for assistance.

I've made a lifelong study of afflictions such as yours.

The accident-prone mentality.

Steady.

Now to plan your defense intelligently. We must probe the murky byways of your

past.

Come in.

We must open the door to your subconscious.

Relax. Relax.

Don't be afraid, Mr. Purdy.

Close your eyes. That's a good boy.

Now, you must trust me.

You must trust me as a friend.

Think of nothing.

Let your brain go limp, your mind go blank.

Now, Mr. Purdy confided in me.

Possibly you hate your father.

No, no. Possibly you want to destroy him. He died 15 years ago.

Cork got stuck in his throat.

Ah.

Just as I surmised.

You're trying to destroy the memory of your father.

You see how simple it is?

You were created in your father's image.

Now you're trying to destroy the memory of him by destroying yourself.

Destroying myself?

Thus your accidents are not accidents at all, but only your own subconscious will

for self-destruction.

Every action is directed towards that.

Every object in your hand becomes a lethal weapon.

A weapon capable of taking your life.

Well, not a handkerchief. Couldn't harm myself with a handkerchief. Could I?

Possibly. Yeah.

Could blow my brains out.

As the psychosis becomes more deeply rooted, you seek other outlets.

You're trying to hurt yourself by hurting others.

Even the ones I love?

Especially people you love.

Ellen.

To compensate for your hunger to do violence on others.

You invent things.

Safety devices of all kinds.

Suction cups for the soles of your shoes so you won't slip in the bathtub.

Go on.

Eight-foot ladders, two feet high. In case you fall off, you don't get hurt.

Go on.

Impenetrable super-view elastic glass.

Yes.

The elastic glass.

The process.

What is the process?

Ah, that's the secret. To make it bend, not break.

The secret.

What is the secret?

Secret? Well, first you take the ordinary components of glass.

Yes. Yes. Well, when you heat it, you make sure that the temperature is at a

certain degree.

When you heat it, you make sure... What's happening?

It's the sprinkling system.

You lost the sprinkling system.

The heat from that lamp set them off.

Now, when you heat it, they... Don't lie there. Do something.

I can't. We may have to postpone this till the storm blows over. I mean until

I fix those thermostatic heads.

Well, fix them. I'm getting wet.

All right.

Come and see me tomorrow, without fail.

Before you kill somebody you love.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Red. Just a second.

Is there anything you want to say to him?

Only what's on my conscience.

Your conscience?

Ellen, you didn't have to bring this bottle in here.

I know that Purdy's glass is everything you say it is.

I'm going to see that he gets another demonstration.

Listen, Red.

I just wanted to confirm our date for this evening.

Oh, sure. Our date's still on.

I have some wonderful news.

Very important.

Yeah? Well, I got some news for you, too.

I'll see you tonight at the home show. Bye.

Bye, Red.

Hi, Ellen. You're late.

Yeah, I had trouble parking my cab. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's a funny place to have a date.

Why did you want to come here?

Oh, I thought it would be a nice place to talk about our future.

Future?

Well, the large ones are $12.

Thank you very much.

Thank you so much. Say thank you to the nice gentleman.

Thanks a lot.

You don't keep your hands on things.

Ellen, I've got something to tell you. You don't have to tell me. I can guess.

I have something to tell you.

Something that will make our future very bright.

Right. Ladies and gentlemen, archery is an outdoor sport for every home. It can

be used in your own backyard.

With every... Mr.

Purdy. Mr. Purdy, don't forget what I told you.

You're trying to hurt yourself by hurting others.

Especially people you love.

Our stove has a glass door.

Now over here, we have another model in our latest.

Excuse me.

Remember, you hurt the people you love.

Your trauma is inflamed. My trauma is inflamed. What?

I mean, oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Oh.

Listen, Red.

Willis Tomlin told me to tell you that he's going to see if he can get you

another demonstration.

What? He told me he wanted to talk to you about it alone tonight.

He said he'd be waiting for you at 11.30 when you check your cabin. Isn't that

wonderful?

Yeah, wonderful.

Let's look at the house of tomorrow.

This is a solar roto house, the only house in the world that was built to

follow the sun.

You'll notice that simple mechanism there on the lawn. The lever there

allows you to direct... Every object becomes a lethal weapon.

Even a handkerchief.

Even a rotating house.

Now, if you'll follow me and step right up here, I'll take you on a personally

conducted tour through the solar rotor house while it's rotating.

Don't forget what I told you.

You heard the people you love.

Be careful. Don't push her. I wouldn't push her.

Oh, I'm sorry, Ellen.

That's all right.

All right, started.

Now, this, ladies and gentlemen, is the kitchen.

Featuring oversized glass windows that allow the sun to come indoors.

Every appliance is electrically operated.

Well, Red, what is it?

But I don't want to leave yet.

Ellen, I'm sorry I pushed you.

You didn't push me. Yes, I did.

No, you didn't. Well, let's not quibble. I was only trying to hurt myself, not

you. But you're hurting me now, Red.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Red, you're acting so strangely. What is it?

Well, it's about our plans for the future.

I... Well, tell me.

Well, I'm trying to.

What do you mean?

Well, what I'm trying to say is...

Well, I mean, this is what I'm trying to tell you.

Every object becomes a lethal weapon.

You've got to tell him.

You must never see her again.

We must never see each other again.

What? Oh, Ellen, I give you my word.

Your word?

Well, you didn't mean one thing you said about... about... Why take my word for

it? Step right up, folks, and see for yourself.

Will you keep quiet?

Come, ladies and gentlemen, why not take advantage of this introductory...

The Arctic Swisher Mat is best for frozen fruit drinks.

The Arctic Swisher Mat saves time, labor, and money.

It's the marvel of the ages, the darling of the kitchen, functional yet

decorative. Now, are there any farsighted people in the audience who

would like to own one of these little machines?

Dr. Docksteader. I'll take one. Thank you, sir.

They look mighty good to me.

Your trouble's as good as over.

Now, are there any other farsighted people in the audience?

Dr. Docksteader.

Get out, get out, get out.

Here.

Throw him out.

Doctor, you don't understand.

Throw him out. Throw that troublemaker out.

This is the guy I hit with McCab. There's nothing wrong with him. He's a

phony. I'm wise to you. You're trying to jip the yellow cab company.

What's the trouble, doc? Throw this man out. He insulted the American flag.

What?

A wise guy, huh? Stop that guy. He's a crook. Here, get your hands off of me.

Step aside, please. Coming through.

Is cab taking, Buster?

Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't got time. You'll have to take the next cab. Wait a

minute.

Come here.

You.

Come here.

What are you, a wise guy? No.

Is this a public vehicle?

Yes. I'm a public citizen. I'm glad to hear that.

Oh, please, mister, I'm in an awful hurry. I'm in a hurry, too.

How would you like for me to report you? Oh, no, you wouldn't do a thing like

that. Where do you want to go, sir?

Ambassador Hotel.

Oh, what do you want to go there for?

Why don't you go to the Rich's? It's just right around the corner. You could

walk and you'd be no charge. It's a nice hotel. They got nice food. I want to go

to the Ambassador Hotel.

I hope I didn't seem rude, because there's nothing I'd rather be than a

good cab driver or credit to the company.

Especially now that Mr. Tomlins made arrangements for another demonstration.

Mr. Tomlins is my boss, you know.

I'm on the way to tell him about a phony that stepped in front of my cab today.

I'm going to meet him at 11.30.

If I don't tell him, he'll never know. And if anything happens to me, oh, boy,

and believe me, anything could happen to me.

You know, at first I thought it was all my fault, especially after what the

doctor's doc said. That's funny.

He never told me that he had another business on the side.

Arctic Squish-O-Mats.

What would a doctor be doing selling Squish-O-Mats?

You know what I think?

That's funny. I had a thought, but now I can't remember what it was.

For free, free, free. For free, free, free.

Free, free, free, free, free.

There you are, sir. Yellow cab service. We travel the sunshine route.

How much is it? There you are.

Oh, don't you have anything smaller?

That's all I got.

Oh, okay.

There you are.

And, uh, this is for you.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

The optics... Swishamax for frozen fruit drinks.

Now, are there any farsighted people in the audience who would like to own one

of these wonderful little machines?

Dr. Dockstader.

Ah, here's an intelligent looking young man.

Step right up, won't you? Step right up. Don't be shy.

Watch your step. This way, please.

This way, this way, this way.

Here.

Won't you try?

Won't you jump in?

No, thanks. I'm cold enough now.

Ah, don't be afraid.

It won't hurt you. Jump in.

No, I'd rather not. I'd rather not.

Come on. Come on. Now, here now.

Oh, no.

No. Won't you jump in?

It's cold.

Hey, cut it out. What's wrong with you guys?

How'd I get here anyway?

You called me. You need help. Yeah.

I need a hot water bottle.

What are you doing? You were delirious, Mr. Purdy.

I was forced to give you my shock treatment. Well, believe me, I'm

shocked.

Hey, what are you doing here?

I thought I took you to the ambassador hotel.

I don't know what he's talking about.

This is Hugo, my assistant.

Oh, I'm not falling for that stuff.

You guys think you're going to get the yellow cab company.

You've got to do it over my dead body.

A common symptom, delusions of persecution.

Oh, yeah.

I suppose you're going to tell me that I didn't see you selling those Squish-O

-Mats, huh?

Duplication of faces and places.

Duplicate the what?

My dear Mr. Purdy.

You didn't see us.

All you saw were the images of the people who dwell in your poor

subconscious. Really?

Oh, now stop it. I do remember everything.

Except how I got to the North Pole.

North Pole?

Oh, gosh.

Poor boy. You do need help.

No, no. I remember everything. You were an Eskimo.

And you were a walrus. You had big fangs and big flippers. Really, Mr. Purdy. I'm

telling you, this guy had on a big fur hat and my cab was pulled by huskies.

There were little huskies and then little huskier huskies and then some

that weren't quite so husky.

There was an igloo there.

It was snowing.

Icicles.

It's a sad case.

Come, my boy.

Get the needle.

Mr. Purdy.

We must look into your subconscious again.

A good, long, deep look this time.

We must find the truth.

We must dig beneath the rubble.

Yes.

I suppose we must dig.

But do we have to dig with that thing?

Narcosynthesis is the shortest way.

Well, maybe the long way would be just as well. I got plenty of time. I doubt

it. Judging from the things you said while in the throes of your delirium?

Yeah, what did I say?

You said you were on your way to murder Willis Tomlin. Oh, that's preposterous.

Murder?

Oh, that couldn't be.

Tomlin was trying to help me.

I don't care what you say. I wouldn't harm a friend.

Would I?

Wouldn't you? No, I asked you first.

Alcohol? No, I don't drink. Thank you.

Oh, no, no, that's my pitching arm. That's my pitching arm.

Oh, you jammed it right in my arm.

Right through the bone.

We'll require another needle.

Are you sure you're not the guy I picked up in my cab?

Uh-uh.

You were never an Eskimo.

You're crazy.

Well, you know, one minute I was talking, then I blacked out like

somebody banged me on the head.

It's kind of cool in here, isn't it?

No, it ain't.

Kind of warm, huh?

No, it ain't.

Well, it ain't comfortable.

Yes, it is. No, it ain't.

What was that?

Somebody at the door. I'll see who it is.

I'm glad I thought my ears were ringing.

Where's Hugo?

Who? Hugo!

Hugo, I'll stay here.

What is this?

Look, I'll go around to the back and let him in. OK.

Put him up. Put him up.

Mr. Tomlin?

Oh, Mr. Tomlin, I'm sorry to bust in on you like this, but this couldn't wait.

Now, don't interrupt me, because this is going to kill you. I went to the home

show tonight, and you know that little guy that ran in front of my cab and I

knocked down? He wasn't hurt. I saw him there tonight. You know what I think?

They hired that little guy to walk in front of my cab, just so they could sue

the company for a lot of money. Oh, they got a plot against this out there.

They're a bunch of thieves. They're all working together.

Mr. Tomlin?

What, did you lose something?

Mr. Tomlin?

He's dead.

Oh, well, we've all got to go sooner or later.

Dead? Oh, what's my bottle doing here? Mr. Purdy, you said you were on your way

to murder Willis Tomlin.

Oh, no.

Shh, wake him up. He's dead.

You killed him!

Did I?

Yes, I did.

Doc stutter was right, you know.

Oh now you've got nothing to worry about ma'am I only kill people that I like and

I hardly know you beside this bottle with What did you do that for now

Oh here At

a

late hour tonight police were still seeking Augustus Red Purdy, who was

wanted for questioning in the water bottle murder of Willis Tomlin, taxi cab

company executive.

Tomlin's body was found earlier this evening in his office by a scrub woman.

It's him, all right.

Oh, Mickey, it's all my fault. I never should have left him. If I'd only...

Take it easy, cupcake.

We'll find a boy, and we'll keep looking till we do.

That was not very smart of you.

I tell you, I couldn't help it.

Tomlin defied me.

He was going to tell Purdy everything.

I couldn't let that happen.

Naturally not.

So you hit him over the head with a water bottle and killed him.

You leave town tonight bagging baggage.

Don't worry.

By morning, I will have flown to points unknown.

Hugo and Gimpy are getting my paraphernalia of the home show now.

Ah, what a pity.

All our efforts...

All the risks we took, and he'll go to the chair with a million dollar secret

locked in his skull.

Well, you had him twice, you let him get away.

Oh, if I could only get my hands on him now.

But, too late. Yes, it is too late.

See you at the door.

Hey, look who's here.

Oh, you're busy. I'll come back tomorrow. No, we're not busy. Come in,

Mr. Purdy.

It's earlier than we think.

Well, I sure am lucky to find both of you here.

You're not mad at me for running away the way I did. Not at all, Mr. Purdy.

Oh, well, I felt that bump on my head and I got suspicious.

I guess I got it somewhere else.

I realize now that you were only trying to help me. I need your help, Doc. And

yours too, Mr. Creepy.

Creepy? Oh.

Anything at all, Mr. Purdy. Anything at all.

Sit down, my boy.

Now, tell me, what's troubling you?

Well, I suppose you heard about... About what happened?

No, what?

Well, uh... Ah, don't be bashful, Mr. Purdy. Tell us all.

Well, this may be a shock to you, but Mr. Tomlin, Willis Tomlin, was... Well,

do you remember, Dr. Dockstader, what I said when I was delirious about Mr.

Tomlin?

It happened.

I would have gone right to the police, but they said he was killed with my

water bottle.

Yet my water bottle was much too light to do any real damage.

Well, I wouldn't be too confident about that.

After all, the bottle was filled with water.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, I better call the police.

After careful consideration, I don't believe we're interested in

suppositions. We're merely interested in facts.

Well, I don't remember anything.

If I'm guilty, I want to be punished.

All I want to know is the truth.

You've come to the right place.

We'll get the truth, believe me. It's somewhere in your head. We'll get it

out.

It's good to have friends like you at a time like this.

I can't.

I just can't think.

I know you can't, but try.

Try hard.

Now tell me everything you know about glass.

Glass?

My windshield's made of glass, but it's not ordinary glass.

It's elastic glass.

Elastic glass. Yes, go on.

When I'm behind my windshield of elastic glass, they can't get at me.

What can't get at you?

Automobiles.

Automobiles.

Automobiles.

Buses.

Streetcars.

Pedestrians.

Tall pedestrians.

Short pedestrians.

Short pedestrians in shorts.

Creeps in jeeps.

Taxicabs. Fifty cents for the first mile.

Ten cents for each additional two-fifths of a mile.

Drive slowly.

Step on the gas.

Mustn't have an accident.

Mustn't have an accident.

My, what a beautiful set of teeth.

The formula.

The Elastiglass formula.

I can't think.

I can't think.

You must, you must.

Why don't you give him another shot?

Not yet.

Mr. Purdy.

When did you first feel the need for a new kind of glass?

Go back.

Go back.

I'm going back.

I'm going back.

I is back!

I is very young.

So is me widow twin sister.

I love me widow twin sister.

But most of all, I love Raggedy Arabella.

I felt the need for a nice, soft glass.

I want to know about the formula.

The formula.

But by that time, I was off my formula.

I mean the elastic glass formula.

Oh, yes, the formula.

The early experiments took place in the basement of my home.

I had bought an excellent book on chemistry.

I was determined to follow in the footsteps of those scientific giants.

Edison.

Pasteur.

Madame Curie.

The Wizard of Oz.

More years had passed.

I had moved into a larger basement.

I experimented with silicon, lime, potash, and lead oxide.

Finally, one night, that

was my moment of greatest triumph.

The final step was in the fusing of the silica with the alkali.

An elastic glass was born.

That'll keep him under for a while. A fortune on paper.

My glass bottle was proof.

The same bottle that killed Mr.

Tomlin.

I remember emptying the water out of that bottle on that cleaning woman's

face.

Makes me wonder.

How did Mr. Creavy know that the bottle was filled with water?

The police didn't know that.

Only me and Mr. Creevey.

How did I let that slip?

Will he remember that when he comes to?

Very likely.

He's working around in his subconscious now.

He's bound to come out sooner or later.

But the mere mention of a word like water might remind him.

Water.

Water. He mustn't wake up. He mustn't wake up. Well, we can't very well

dispose of him right here.

He could have a little accident.

Tell me, can your little friend Gimpy jump out of a moving cab as well as in

front of it?

Don't worry about Gimpy.

He's an expert at these things. Put Purdy in his own cab and drive him to

the home show.

We'll pick up Gimpy there.

Hey, get his driver carefully.

He mustn't have an accident.

How do you plan on getting rid of this guy?

A couple of trucks from the factory down the street come by this alley every

night. I will put Purdy behind the wheel, start the cab in reverse.

And run him out into the street.

And I'd jump off just before the crash.

Good.

How much time have we got?

Those trucks will be by in about 20 minutes.

You say the last time you saw him was at the home show?

Yes. He was trying to tell me something and I wouldn't let him.

Maybe we could go back there and pick up his trail.

What a bit of use. It's closed. Nobody there now.

Oh.

Mickey, would you mind if we just... We'll just... Drove by the home show.

It'll make you feel any better, okay.

You see, there's nobody here.

It's just a waste of time.

I... I guess you're right.

Come on, let's take a look at the other side of the auditorium.

It's all right.

He's still unconscious.

Danny, come in.

Put him behind the wheel.

Put him here.

What was

that?

What? Devotion number one. Are you sure?

It's got to look as though he drove off the road by accident. Don't worry about

me, boss.

I'm an expert.

Gimpy knows his job.

Our friend will be quite dead quite soon.

I'll look down this way, and you look over there.

Okay.

All right, Gibby, it's all yours. Get going, but fast.

Hey, what's going on?

Where am I, anyhow?

I get here.

Excuse me.

Hello, Mr. Purdy. Hi, Doctor.

This is the home show.

Oh?

Unfortunately, narcosynthesis failed to disclose your movements earlier this

evening. Oh, I see.

We thought it might help you to remember if we retraced your steps.

Oh.

That's why we brought you here. Oh, in that case, there's no time to lose.

Oh, I found this in my car. It may be a clue.

Well, shall we start on the inside or the outside? Let's start right here.

Huh?

Ellen! Go!

Ellen! Go!

I found her snooping around. Get your hands off of her.

You go!

What are you doing here?

Oh, well, we thought we'd look for you here because it was the last place I saw

you. And then we thought we wouldn't because it was silly. And, well, then we

heard your horn.

You didn't do it, did you, Red?

Well, I'm... I'm not sure.

I don't remember anything after I left here.

Oh, Red, I know you didn't do it. But you don't understand. I could have.

That's what we're here to find out. These men are going to help me. You know

Mr. Heavey.

Creavy. I don't think the police have a case against Red.

It just won't hold water.

Water.

That's funny. What is it, Red?

Well, this might be something.

In Tomlin's office tonight, I remember emptying that bottle of water on that

scrub woman's face.

And it just occurred to me... And what occurred to you, Mr. Purdy?

Oh, nothing.

Nothing at all.

Grab him!

Here, now, you let her alone.

Now, wait a minute. Oh, wait a minute now.

What about the key to the ignition?

What about it? Well, you can't start a car without a key. Any mechanic knows

that. And I've got the key.

Get the key quick What about the key that was the key to my trunk and we

don't have time to pack

What's

the matter fella why don't you watch where you're going People like you,

don't point your fingers at me.

You poor, simple-looking soul.

Look, in a fight fair, if you... Say, don't I know you from somewhere?

Oh.

Red, they followed us in.

You sure you locked all those other doors? Yes, everything's okay.

We gotta find a door. We gotta get out of here.

There's the cab!

He must be around here someplace.

No shooting in here. We gotta take him alive.

If I can get this needle into Mr. Purdy's veins again, he'll come quietly

as a lamb, the girl we can easily handle later. That's a good idea. Now, let's

spread out, everybody.

Help me.

Come on.

Here we are.

Around the outside of the house.

We lost him

Ellen. Ellen, what have they done to you?

Speak to me. Speak to me.

Don't leave me flat.

Does it hurt much?

We got to get out of here.

Oh, don't worry.

Stay right here. Don't go away.

Come on, listen.

Who blew you up?

Oh.

Don't be frightened.

It's not me. The house is moving.

There they are. Hurry, hurry.

Nothing. I'll shut it off. Go ahead.

I don't know.

We'll climb out the window. The window?

Oh, Red, be careful.

Red, look out!

Hey,

get something to tie him up with.

Let go of that!

You rat!

Stop this thing!

Alan!

Alan!

Holy... Hell!

This is Mickey Calkins. Spread the word. Broadcast the alarm.

Nobody came to the home show.

Emergency. Hey.

Look out, Red. Watch out behind you. Grab him. Nobody get away. Grab him.

Help. Red.

Red. Let's go.

Helen! You okay?

Uh-huh.

Did you get hurt? No.

Great. Come on, let's get out of here.

Help!

Hey,

I've got an idea.

Remember the little boy that was lifted by the balloon tonight?

Uh-huh.

Well, if we could get enough of these together... and get up to there.

If we get through that skylight, we'll be safe on the roof.

Watch out! Now!

Grab him! Couldn't you hang on to them?

Hang on!

We're stuck on the roof. Hey, we missed the skylight.

Are you all right? Yeah, but the nose itches.

I hope they don't see us.

There must be some way.

Oh.

No, we must be up all behind. My ears are popping.

Oh, Fred, they're breaking the balloons.

What?

Go on, push him off. That didn't look like an accident.

Here we go

Well

back

to the old demonstration are you ready mr. Hendricks

Oh, no. This time, you bitch, and I'll get behind the glass.

Well, gentlemen.

Success.

I know you'd make good.

Say, Mr. Hendricks.

What happened?

Look out. Oh, not again.

Now, look, Mr. Hendricks, it wasn't my fault. Look out.

Don't do that.