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I destroyed my life.
Endangered my family.
The shell I took and put on myself.
I did that for survival, not out of greed.
But now, belonging to no one, loved by no one, who will keep my memory?
Naked, yet invisible.
When I was a young child, I remember my father speaking above me with no words.
The song of his voice carried melodies alone.
Years passed and the troubles came, and songs now carry only words, no melody.
I circled the world, escaping meaning, chasing a mirage.
And I was left with nowhere to grow.
No one to blame but me.
I'm the only witness of my decay.
It was at the king's grave where they suggested Nick to go and visit the
ruins.
He was taking a walk outside his hotel along the shore and noticed a group of
teenagers hanging out on the smelly grass of the king's grave.
There was a strange, unsettling silence in the air, Nick said to them.
This is not the Exelon I expected, he said.
They sent Nick to check out the ruins.
They sent him to me.
Nick arrived at the ruins at noon.
The sun was high when I arrived at the ruins neighborhood.
As the name suggested, the place looked abandoned.
And you had to find your way in.
The market was almost empty.
A poem in an extinct language.
But the charm of the labyrinth was still in the air.
in what I thought was a neglected part of the market.
Out of a sudden urge, I made the mistake of taking a leak.
Exposed, embarrassed by a blooming flower.
It wasn't him at the entrance.
Nor this one.
I couldn't see him there.
But the smell of food made me hungry.
And then I saw him.
There in a small warehouse, with more people on stage than in the audience,
there was a show that humbly combined irony and kitsch.
It was a remnant of the unique understanding of life.
that Exelon used to be famous for.
To stay in your arms
And though I've been around And
lived the life I said I loved You know without you
All I do is worth nothing
There's no need for you to cry Because I'm back
today
And though you say you'll journey to some foreign land I will
remember you Yes, and I'll be true
to your memory
And there's no need for
you to cry Because I'm back today
to stay.
I didn't plan to fall in love with a barely legal kid.
Sometimes I'd go to the restaurant to eat where he was cooking or to see him
being publicly reprimanded by his dad.
His name was
Alan.
He was full of lust, playing with himself while I was gone.
Alan would wait for me, horny, and expect me to fuck him immediately as I
came home.
Nick hadn't told me anything about his past and I didn't ask.
Only later I found out about his visits to the other side of town.
Je suis aveugle, on me plaint Et moi je plains tout le monde
Mes deux yeux ne sont plus pleins
Car ils ont perdu leur bombe
Dans un malheur comme le mien
Tu t'en, tu t'en, tu t'en moques
La chandelle ne vaut rien
I don't know.
I don't know.
Mon chien et mon bâton, mes deux compagnons fidèles
L'un me mène à tâton, l
'autre au bout d'une ficelle
Okay, okay, we can play. Okay, okay, we can play. Okay, okay, we can play.
Okay, we can play. Reporting for duty, sir.
Reporting for duty, sir.
Reporting for duty, sir. Attention. Attention.
Yes, sir.
Reporting for duty, sir.
Yes, sir. Face right.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Salute. Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir.
Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir.
Salute. Yes, sir. Salute.
Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir.
Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir.
Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir.
Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir. Salute. Yes, sir.
Salute. Yes, sir.
Salute. Yes, sir.
Salute. Yes,
sir On your feet. Forward march.
Yes, sir.
On your feet. Face left.
Yes, sir. Assume the position.
Yes, sir.
Assume the position.
Yes, sir.
Down dog. Down dog. Counting.
One. One.
One, sir.
Two. Two, sir. Three. Three, sir.
On your feet. Face left. Yes, sir. On your feet. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes,
sir. Yes,
sir.
Yes,
sir. Yes,
sir.
As you were
One day, Nick came home with a story.
Eventually, I learned that his mom was the owner of Tamiya, a shady coffee
place in the south of Exelon.
Today, as he stepped in, she was in the middle of a meeting with someone.
I know Arthur from Lichtenberg.
My mom, who knew him before I was born, insisted that their meeting had nothing
to do with me.
Eric repeated what she said.
But I knew he came for me.
I worked seven years for Arthur in Lichtenberg City.
Seven years.
I had the easiest job.
Hiccups
He didn't pay a lot, but he paid enough.
Arthur was known to be sweet and easy on gentle-faced twinks.
It wasn't easy to get a work permit there.
There's something deeply humiliating about the situation.
Relations between the cities never recovered from what Lichtenberg did to
Arpatinia.
No consulates, no official ties, no extradition agreements.
Despite the many years, the pride of Exelon does not allow to forget.
Yet you find yourself there at their mercy, begging to be permitted to stay
and work.
You always have to remind them that things here get better now.
That it's already been seven years without war in Exelon.
I signed a contract with Arthur seven years ago, and it easily fixed my legal
status there.
Home was my small apartment at the mountain of the cross
And inside the apartment, being lazy, Dario, my carefree, privileged
Lichtenberg boy.
My contract to Arthur was ending.
and I was desperate not to renew it.
Dario calmed me down.
It's better to keep what you've got than risk it, he used to say.
This was my little cosmos.
Work, home, and Esterica's karaoke.
Where Daria worked.
And Arthur loved to hang out.
Silly Arthur.
And Mike Dario.
The royal couple always complained when foreigners were on stage.
This time Hiro said she made to love somebody sound like Havana Gila.
Every time I had to watch Hero, Patrizia, and Arthur fight and force
myself not to smile.
Hmm.
He said I needed to learn delayed gratification.
He said I needed to learn delayed gratification.
My contract was about to end and I was desperate not to renew it.
Arthur pretended that he didn't know what I was talking about.
One day, I saw them.
Dario, in Arthur's car.
I followed them to Arthur's office in Beauty Hills.
I realized there was a whole subplot I'd been missing.
I was looking at shadows and thought they were the whole truth.
All evening I tried to make sense of Dario's betrayal.
But I came home to a different reality.
I came home to a new reality.
Arthur was on the phone.
Why did you kill Dario? He asked and laughed.
I didn't get what he was saying.
He repeated, why did you kill your boyfriend?
Laughing again.
He was trying to frame me in the murder.
In this valley, I pass to the expanses of time, to
Alomai and to Fushai.
To the path of love, from outside the village, to the wall and the gate, to
me, in the light of the night, the hidden love of my life, you
were to me.
There are no extradition agreements between Lichtenberg and Exelon.
To cross the border to Exelon, you need to walk to the Eastern Mountains, pass
through part of Patinia,
The cage.
For a reason that Alan wouldn't disclose.
His brothers started to beat him up repeatedly.
I didn't want him to know the reason behind my brother's beatings. Why was
Alan shielding his brothers?
I was actually shielding Nick and not my brothers.
Was I right in not telling him everything?
I felt Nick was neither ready nor able to put the past behind I
didn't want to force him out of his safe
little bubble Nick was sure that Arthur came all the way to Exelon just to hunt
him down I didn't feel comfortable to tell him it was actually the other way
around
Dear
I went to Arthur, and I begged him to leave Alan and me alone.
I demanded he tell me what he wanted.
You need to stop thinking the sun revolves around you, he said.
I was worried about Alan I
went back to the market
I bumped into a childhood friend of Alan, Jeremy.
Sylvie was together with them at school.
He told me stories about rebellious little Alan.
Training himself to be a ninja.
Trying his moves on the teacher.
Sweet people.
Towards the evening, Jeremy suddenly started talking about the conflicts.
Now the Walknen family blames Barda for the killing of Moses Red, and no one
wants to negotiate.
He was talking about something that sounded like a conspiracy theory.
People from Lichtenberg coming in, adding fuel to the fire.
She wanted to go home immediately.
An evening falling on Exelon.
They used to love talking about the conflict here.
He came back to tell me of his encounter with Jeremy.
He asked to know more about the troubles.
Jeremy's explanations obviously confused him more than they helped.
I lied and said that I didn't follow the conflicts anymore, that I'd withdrawn
myself from giving a fuck.
Then he offered to take me to meet his mom.
What was the reason?
He either felt guilty or needed to feel closer to me.
I heard stories about his mom and her connections to people outside Exelon,
even in Lichtenberg.
I was actually hoping to get a chance to meet her.
But we were too late.
The body I am is the body I see.
I destroyed my life.
The shell I took and put on myself.
I did that for survival, not out of greed.
Now, belonging to no one, loved by no one, who will keep my memory?
I circled the world, escaping meaning, chasing a mirage and I was left with
nowhere to grow.
No one to blame but me.
You pay 250 dinars to be driven almost until Patinia.
While I was gone, troubles came back to Exelon.
It's ironic that I'm safer on the other side.
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