Original subtitles

And this is where the magic really happens.

If you look to your right, you will see the office of the man himself, our host,

Scotty Bristol.

He's probably in there right now, going over material, preparing for tonight's

show, which tapes in a few hours.

What do you say we say a quick hello?

Actually,

I think I'll keep my job instead.

And right next door is the writer's room.

where Scotty's hilarious monologues and comedy bits are born.

The writers are waiting to hear if their material made the final cut.

He hated it.

Monologue or the mayor bit? All of it. Every line.

We stayed late last night. That was good stuff. Are you...

Sure, you pitched it right.

Yes, Ronan. I know how to pitch. I come from a comedy background.

Improv. Look, he just didn't like it. It happens.

Okay, but what kind of mood was he in? Because you also have to pick the right

moment. Because it's our job as women to always ascertain a man's emotional state

before speaking.

Look, go ahead and blame me. I'm used to it. But the material isn't going in the

show. And we know where it is going.

Yes, the dulcet tones of Mickey 2.

Okay, so our stuff went in the shredder.

What'll he use instead?

He's going to the packets.

Oh, for the love of God!

This is your fault. No, come on!

Whose side are you on?

Hi,

Cheryl.

I'm Laurel, head writer, executive producer of Way Late. Are you nervous?

Oh, God, is it that obvious?

It's just network television.

I'm old enough that still means something.

Well, our audience feels the same.

So here are some questions that Scotty may or may not ask. Do you think that

he'll be nice to me? I mean, I know sometimes he can be a little bit

acerbic. That's a lie.

I'm always nice. Oh, my God, you're so much taller in person.

Well, that depends on the size of your screen.

Hi, Cheryl. Nice to meet you. Hey, listen, it's going to be a lot of fun.

Just relax and be yourself. I actually brought a friend for support. How's

Beth?

I'm here.

Elsbeth was my journey partner at one of the wellness centers I wrote about. Hi,

Elsbeth. I hope I'm saying that right, because I won't be saying it again.

Oh, my gosh. It's you.

I can't believe it. Oh, I'm such a fan.

You're so tall.

Yeah, we established that while you were unconscious.

Oh, right. Sorry.

I came straight here from the airport. I was in Scotland visiting Angus, my

boyfriend. Actually, I'm not sure I should call him that, but...

Anyway, I am jet-lagged, which is why I seem a little loopy, although some

people think I always seem a little loopy. You know what's fascinating about

that story?

I didn't ask.

See you out there. Okay.

Okay, you got this.

Is there coffee?

Yeah. Get her a decaf!

We are talking to Cheryl Jacobs, the author of Unwell On My Way.

So, Cheryl, it says in here that you went from wellness center to wellness

center for four full years.

Four years and three months.

You must have had a lot of junk mail when you came home.

Yeah,

I mentioned that in the book.

Didn't you read it?

Well, I have to read a lot for this job, Cheryl.

Oh, right.

Is that hard for you?

Mickey, Cheryl's being mean to me.

Hey, did you meet Mickey Munce? Oh, no, but I know him from the show.

Good to meet you, Cheryl. I loved your book, and I read every word of it.

Hey, listen, let me ask you something. What wellness treatment do you think

would be good for Mickey over there? I mean, obviously, he needs all of them,

but what would you start with first, the weight or the air of desperation?

Well, I think focusing on the spiritual being is always first, and then the...

That's good to know, because we don't want to focus on Mickey's physical

being. Yes, and my spirit is definitely broken.

Anyway, this has been great. Cheryl, would you please come back? Is that it?

That's it.

It is way late.

Go to sleep, everybody.

Bye-bye.

Well?

He said no.

Did you tell him what the doctor said?

I did.

Weren't the word?

Honey. Mickey, your heart is in bad shape. If you don't get a break from the

stress, taking his abuse every night, who knows what could happen?

Look, you push me to get a mammogram once a year, and I do, and I love you

for taking care of me. Now I'm asking you to take care of yourself.

He said it was impossible. The ratings are down, and he's got Ronan waiting in

the wings to take his place.

This is the job I signed up for.

God, he's killing you. How dare he?

I'll be fine.

Look, we owe Scotty so much. We'd be nothing without him. Oh, I don't believe

that. No, you're right.

I'd be nothing without him. I mean, you could be anything.

Oh, Mickey, you're such a good person.

Yeah, but I wanted to be in show business.

Get changed and go home.

I'm gonna watch the edit. Not that they know I'm there.

What would you start with first the weight or the air of desperation buy me

that close-up?

I

Figured

he would send you he told you what the doctor said doctors. Are we still doing

doctors? Scotty, this show is literally killing him.

Well, we'll miss it when it's gone.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

This show is what the three of us dreamed about, and we have to live with

the choices that we made. Right, and you chose Mickey.

I did.

Any regrets?

Only when I watch the show.

Cute. What about kids?

No, no, no, you were right about that. You know, we would have never gotten

this far if we had to split our focus.

Drink?

Uh, yeah.

I was thinking about that night the scout came from the network to see our

show for the first time, and someone from the audience called out Renaissance

Faire as a suggestion.

So we're walking down memory lane now.

And you had that Renaissance Faire bit from the week before that killed.

It was ready to go, making you look like a star.

Now, the guy who called it out was a plant, right?

Laurel, good luck comes from preparation.

Yeah. You know, it's funny. I think I chose Mickey over you that night.

Your ambitions scared the hell out of me.

Gosh, what was I so afraid of?

I'm just making it look better, you know?

Sexier. Are we?

Are we really gonna do this?

Doing what?

I'm just having a drink with an old friend.

Don't you miss the way it felt before all of this?

Well, of course.

I mean, some nights I look over at you and... and I'm right back there.

The three of us on stage, making it up as we go along, you know?

So in tune with each other.

So young.

You haven't changed.

Come with me.

What's... Okay, yeah, all right. No, I'm into it.

All right, yeah.

I've been nothing but loyal to you, and Laurel has too.

And I deserve this.

My health is more important than some show.

Look, Laurel, I just want you to know I've always respected and admired how...

loyal you are to mickey i know but i guess um even you have your limits yes i

do

Scotty, I can't do this anymore.

Scotty!

Scotty!

Was that a scream?

Mom, I thought you weren't supposed to be home for another few days.

Did things with Angus not go so well? No.

Cheryl asked me to go to the show with her and then to dinner, and I want to be

supportive of my friends, especially now that Kai is off.

working undercover.

Are we sure that's the reason?

There she is!

Oh, Gonzo, I missed you so much. Were you a good girl? Easy peasy. Oh, Teddy,

Teddy, I have gifts. Okay, Mom, let me. You're exhausted.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Yeah, the one on the top. Yeah, that's for Gonzo.

There you go. Go get it, girl.

And that's for you and Ro.

You got us tartan kilts. Yeah, you both have such nice calves.

Oh, thanks.

That's fun.

Although... I think it's probably a little too soon for me to wear these at

my new job.

Yeah, probably.

Wait, what?

Teddy! You got a job?

Shocking, I know.

Well, Roy and I were at this bar, and we met this reporter, and I started going

on about how the truth has been devalued and the world needs more fact-checkers.

Oh, that's so true. And before I knew it, you know, I was hired at the New

York View. Did you know one of their journalists got murdered with a cattle

prod? Mm-hmm. That's how we got Gonzo. What?

Long story. Anyway, I really do think that investigative journalism could be

the path for me. Did you know that Chris Hayes was a philosophy major just like I

was? I think I did. And the best part is that print media is a dying business,

and so the bar to entry is really low.

So wonderful, honey. I'm so... Okay, Mom, you need to sleep.

No, I want to stay up. I have to watch way late.

I have to see if I see myself in the audience.

Uh, Mom, I think the show may be preempted. Oh, no. What happened? Is it

Greenland?

Elizabeth. Oh, good. You made it home.

And you're still awake.

Oh, Captain Wagner.

Here I am, across several time zones, reporting for duty. I'm glad you came

back early. I need you here.

Talk about a high profile case.

Yeah.

I see Detective Smelan.

Is there an officer assigned to keep me in line?

Yes, you'll be working with Officer Grace Hackett, who's particularly well

-suited for this. Oh, why is that?

Well, happen to know she's a stand-up comic in her spare time. Ooh, well, that

ought to be helpful and good for laughs.

Where is she? Oh, I see.

Um, hi, Officer Hackett.

Hi. Oh, gosh.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were having a moment there.

I'm... Yeah, I know who you are.

Sorry. I always dreamed of being here in this office, and this is just not the

way I wanted to get here, you know?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm an empath.

It's okay.

It's nice.

According to Mickey Munz, our sidekick who found the body, Scotty Bristol was

famous for feeding material that he didn't like into this industrial monster

over here just to piss off the writers.

God. this business we're bagging what's in the bin for evidence but it's looking

like a pretty unfortunate necktie shredding accident were these his

earbuds so we assume do we know what he was listening to merrily we roll along

original cast recording your guess is as good as mine oh i think my guess is

probably better sondheim's score is a masterpiece and the story is told

backwards

Which always made perfect sense to me. Yeah, me too.

So, he was strangled by his tie?

So that means his back was to the shredder. Why would that be?

Maybe he turned to get away.

But his tie would have had to be on tight.

Otherwise he'd be able to pull it off in time. But Scotty always loosened his

tie.

At the end of every show. It's way late. Go to sleep.

Yeah, that was a signature move.

Are there any prints?

None that we found so far.

Ooh, there's a jam override button.

That means the shredder shuts off when it gets jammed with too much paper or

the body of a talk show host.

So that means somebody had to push that button to keep it going. And look,

there's a reverse button.

So... Why didn't Scotty just push that?

Reverse button.

Scotty never changed his mind.

Laurel! Right?

We met in the green room. I was here with my friend Cheryl.

Oh, jet lag.

Still got it.

Well, I'd really like to take my husband home now. He has a heart condition.

Oh, of course.

Just, can I ask one question?

Do you have any idea what Scotty might have been shredding? Some material he

didn't like? Probably. That's kind.

That's odd.

Because Mickey said that Scotty used the shredder to torture the writers, but the

writers were gone for the day, weren't they? So the... would be lost on them.

I guess we'll never know what he was thinking. He was here alone.

Or maybe not.

Because Scotty took out his earbuds.

But he didn't put them back in the case.

As if he was expecting to put them back in his ear after some brief

interruption, like to, um, talk to someone.

I really need to take him home.

Oh, sure. Let's go, sweetheart. Oh, and also, these googly eyes sure are fun.

What's that about? I couldn't tell you. Good night.

Night. Let's go.

It's true.

No prints anywhere. Somebody may have wiped them down. So this wasn't an

unfortunate necktie shredding accident.

I'll admit, Ms. Tassione makes some good points. That'll save time.

Elsbeth, what's your theory?

I have gifts!

Okay, this is for you.

You didn't have to do that. Oh, I wouldn't dream of coming back from

overseas empty-handed.

Okay, Lieutenant Connor, this had your name on it.

Just right.

Thank you, Elizabeth. You are so welcome.

Oh, Captain Wagner, I know how much you love your whiskey.

Duty-free, which I thought was ironic for you.

Bandido 18. Very nice. Thank you, Elizabeth. You're welcome. And Bobby,

short bread.

Oh, Officer Hackett, obviously I didn't know you yet, but I got a bunch of these

adorable erasers that look like Harry Highland coos.

That better be a kind of cow.

There you go.

There's one for you. Oh, so how's the jet lag?

You okay to work? Oh, yes, yes. I just need my first big cup of coffee.

Hey, we pay for coffee now?

We have continued to look at ways to follow new budget guidelines.

Which is his oh-so-polite way of saying, we've got nothing for you anymore. Deal

with it.

Well, I'm sure it's not Lieutenant Conner's fault.

Yeah, well, he's the numbers guy.

It's true.

I am.

Does anyone have a dollar?

Okay. I would put my thoughts down on cards, but, um...

There seemed to be no more cards in the supply closet, which is fine, because

I'm on the wait list for a Sharpie. How are those numbers working out? Clearly,

this was not an accident.

We agree.

So, who had it in for him? Well, maybe Mickey didn't just find the body. I

mean, the guy was humiliated by Bristol every night for years.

Wasn't that the bit?

The experience can still feel real.

I don't know. Mickey seemed pretty broken up over Scotty's death.

Finish putting all the papers and the shredder back together.

It was like that scene from Argo.

Yeah, that is the one thing I remember from that movie. And it won Best

Picture. Uh, what did you find?

Uh, it was a packet.

Jokes submitted by an aspiring writer looking for a job on the show.

Actually, I submitted a few myself.

You know, I swear, they used a joke of mine once. They just changed Pelosi to

Beyonce. And they didn't give you any money?

Or credit?

Oh, I believe the contractual term is bupkis. Well, it sounds like Scotty

Bristol must have pissed off a lot of writers. Maybe one of them wanted

revenge. Not likely.

And why not?

Well, I mean, most comedy writers would take Scotty Bristol stealing one of

their jokes as encouragement to keep going.

We're a sad bunch.

But what about the writers on the show?

How do they feel about Scotty stealing jokes and feeding theirs to a giant

shredder? Exactly.

We need to talk to them.

And if you look to your right, you'll see the office where our host, Scotty

Bristol, was found dead.

That must have been hard for you.

You know, it was.

I know he had a mixed reputation, but Scotty was always so nice to me. He told

me all about his early days doing improv.

It's amazing what people will tell a page.

He reminisced whenever I went in to empty Mickey 2.

Mickey 2?

Oh, that's everybody's nickname for this rudder. It's kind of mean.

Did you always empty Mickey, too? That's what Scotty wanted.

I'm the only non-janitor with the key to Scotty's and Laurel's offices. The two

of them were touchy about their shredders.

Maybe because Scotty liked to steal material.

This business.

Well, what can you tell us about Scotty and the shredder?

Oh, Mickey Two. He liked to fire it up to remind us who's boss.

That's a funny nickname for a shredder, though. Well, we named it Mickey Two,

like Audrey Two in Little Shop, because just like the real Mickey, Scotty made

it eat crap all day.

Did Laurel know the nickname?

Oh, yes.

But she would never laugh because she's management.

Or maybe because you were all making fun of her husband.

Well, that's the sentimental version.

We found a writer's packet in Scotty's shredder.

Well, duh. Of course he did. Well, him using that stuff must have really burned

you guys up, huh?

You should have trusted the professionals. Yeah?

Did it make you want to get even?

Wait.

We thought this was an accident. Is this a murder investigation?

It had to be Ronan.

It's so obvious he wanted Scotty's job.

Come on, he's the guy. Steph slept with Scotty at the last season wrap party,

and ever since then, she became totally obsessive. Shut up. That is just stupid.

But I actually bet it was you that killed him. You guys!

You guys, stop!

This is not a bit.

You mind telling us where you were last night?

Yes.

I did two sets at Mr.

Titter's Club in the Village. Oh, right. Yes, we were all there. Both sets,

cheering him on. Really? All of you?

Both sets?

Why? Well, we were sucking up to Ronan in case he gets Scotty's job, which now

he will because I missed my moment. So, congratulations.

Very happy for you. Yeah.

They have video cameras at Mr. Titter's, so you can see the audience.

I'm sure we got filmed during our good-natured heckling. Well, we'll

double-check, because it does seem awfully convenient.

I mean, you guys all clearly had a problem working for Scotty Bristol, so

maybe you all worked together to murder him and cover it up. Detective, you

gotta understand, we're writers.

We would never do anything to rock the boat. It's true. This is a hostile work

environment, but we are all so grateful to have a job.

This business.

Which one is that?

Uh, Benazapril.

It's the ACE inhibitor.

They don't work if you forget to take them.

Well, that's what I've got you for.

Mickey, why did you go back to Scotty's office last night? I told you to go

home. I was going to give him an ultimatum.

Either I get the time off so I can take care of myself, or I quit.

I mean, it wasn't fair to me or to you anymore.

I'd had it.

But then I never got the chance.

Oh, Mickey.

Oh, I wish I'd known that.

What is he doing?

Looks like he's psyching himself up for something.

Yeah.

To murder someone.

I almost quit all the time. I just never went through with it. Yeah, but this

time you didn't just quit. You murdered Scotty for making you a laughing stock

in front of millions.

You know nothing about comedy. Geez, I get no respect.

Um, what about you?

Did you want Mickey to quit?

I wanted what was best for Mickey.

That's all.

This interview is over. Mickey, go home and call Edward.

That's our lawyer. Clearly the police want to waste their time focusing on

Scotty's best friend in the world. This is unbelievable.

We'll be in touch.

In the meantime, we'll have another chat with building security.

I'll catch up with you later.

Hey, Laurel.

Laurel, I just want you to know, I think the police have this wrong.

I don't think Mickey could have done this. You're smart.

The thing is, I would love it.

If you would help me figure this out, to clear your husband's name, would you be

willing to do that?

How can I say no?

Great.

Excuse me while I... Wow, boy.

You have a tough job.

How do you mean?

Well, the writers think of you as management.

They blame everything on me. That's how Scotty liked it.

Oh, and Scotty doesn't sound like he was an easy boss.

And then to watch what the show was doing to your husband every night?

I mean, Laurel, you juggle a lot.

Well, you juggle a lot, too, or you wouldn't carry so many bags.

True.

Although I don't have to think about my husband, X.

Although he did just narrowly escape disbarment. Not sure how I feel about

that. I'm sorry, but I have an awful lot to do. Oh, of course.

What are you working on? We're preparing a tribute show for Scotty. Oh, and who

knew him better than you did?

By the way...

Did Scotty also call the shredder Mickey too, or was that just the writers?

You knew all about that, right?

And yet you acted like you didn't when I asked you about the googly eyes at the

crime scene?

You talking about the night of the accident?

You asked me, and I said I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you because Mickey

was right there, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings or make him look

guilty, God forbid. So I couldn't tell you.

Wow, you're awfully quick on your feet. Must be my improv training.

Oh, right.

Carl, cue it up to the beginning.

So cool.

Wow.

Oh, hey.

Is that you?

That's Scotty and Mickey and you, isn't it?

Yeah, we were in a group called The Overalls. Oh, that explains the outfits.

That is so fun.

You guys were a big hit, weren't you?

We didn't know what we were. We were just having fun and making each other

laugh.

Three kids in Seattle just loving each other and what we were doing.

That, of course, was before the jealousy and the deals and show business.

Before you knew that Scotty would be the star?

Oh, we always knew that.

Boy, I would love to learn how to do that.

What? Improv?

No, it's not much of a thing anymore.

But it's such an important skill.

And it would be so useful in my work. I could probably use it to find Scotty's

real killer.

T-U-V.

Okay, all right. You see how we're more connected now?

Yes, I do.

I feel like I can almost read your mind.

Okay, let's try a more advanced game. All right, let's do questions only.

Okay. Now, everything you say must be in the form of a question. Mm-hmm. Ooh,

like Jeopardy. Yeah.

Yeah, like Jeopardy. Okay, and remember the first rule of improv, yes and.

You never deny what the other person says because it kills the scene. You go

along with it and you add new information so the scene builds. Oh,

okay, yeah. So let's start with a place for the scene.

Oh, a renaissance fair.

Well, what made you come up with that? Did you know it was a bit we did in the

overalls? Yes, and I've done a bunch of research on you.

Was that good?

Yeah, well, we haven't really started yet. Oh. Okay, so let's start now. Okay,

okay, sorry, sorry. All right, so here we go.

Is this your first time at the Renaissance Fair?

Uh, does it look like my first time, lassie?

Lassie? Okay, well, yes, that was a question, but it didn't add in new

information, so what it did was it threw the question back on me, so now I'm

doing all the work. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, I see.

Gosh, yeah, I tend to do that.

with people okay let me try let me try it again okay yes

do you like my breeches okay good um yes i love them and would you

like to dance oh absolutely i would oh we're dancing and uh but

um will your husband mind

Okay, but it's okay if it keeps adding information, which you did.

And yes, he will.

Will you tell him?

Yes. But wouldst thou secretly murder me first?

Did I do it wrong?

No, it's just a little confusing with all the wuss.

I really have to get back to the edit.

Oh, shoot.

Are you sure? Yes.

And?

Yes, and that was a very good start.

You're very quick on your feet, too.

But you need more practice.

Didn't we already see this? Oh, he's wearing different clothes.

I wanted to test Mickey's story, so I did some research.

There's a fan online who's compiled all the most humiliating Mickey Muntz

moments on the show.

Oh, there were so many. The lint suit, the snake tank.

And then I got the security footage from after those tapings.

Sure enough... Half the time, Mickey was in the elevator working himself up to

almost quit, just like he said.

Which shows... He didn't do it. Oh, come on. He didn't. He didn't do it. He

absolutely didn't. He didn't do it. Come on, come on, Elizabeth.

Give me a break.

One at a time. Okay, Captain, the security footage clearly shows a years

-long process of Mickey building up the courage to murder Scott. Yes, and it

shows a weak man who would never hurt the boss he worshipped. Why yes and?

What? You just completely contradicted me, but you started with yes and.

Oh, it's better for the scene.

We're in a scene?

Seeing Mickey go through all that was painful to watch, but it must have been

even more painful for his wife, Laurel, especially given Mickey's bad heart. But

everything you say also points to Mickey, and he found the body.

Yes, and it points just as much to Laurel. And why are you carrying a

wastebasket? To make a point. Hey, Connor!

You see this?

Garbage? Yeah, the same garbage that's been here for three days.

Yes, it has been necessary to scale back trash collection. Oh, no, no, don't hide

behind the passive voice. I should be able to eat a banana and not worry about

the peels sticking around long enough to grow fuzz.

Are you going to do something about this?

Nope.

What did Edward have to say?

He told me he's going to put me in touch with the lawyer who handles this sort of

thing. When?

I don't know. Tomorrow, maybe. Maybe?

The police are not fooling around. Why didn't you tell them that you wanted me

to quit?

What are you saying? The police asked you, and you lied.

I didn't lie.

I told them I wanted what was best for you, and that's true. That's always been

true.

Laurel, were you in the edit that whole time?

Don't do this, Mickey.

You're just torturing yourself and me.

You lied.

You did want me to quit. I wanted you to get time off, and now you have it, and

you can use it to get better and to do great things.

But without Scotty?

I... Laurel, I... Mickey?

Mickey!

So he couldn't bear the guilt of killing Scotty Bristol and his heart gave out.

Is that about it?

Yes, and that's exactly what he told me just before he died.

Think before you write. Crossing something out is a waste of ink.

Captain Wagner.

Hmm? Are you fully aware of what's going on out there?

To what are you referring?

These budget cuts, they're so arbitrary and absurd, and everyone's taking it out

on Lieutenant Connor.

Yes, and?

Well, I have seen recently what can happen when a person's put in that

position. It's not fair, and it leads to bad things.

Part of being a good boss is effectively delegating responsibility.

Connor can handle it.

What about his feelings?

Connor has feelings.

Captain! You know what else is part of being a good boss?

Taking the blame when necessary.

Come.

The report's in.

Mickey Munst died of a catastrophic coronary. No sign of foul play.

Okay.

Case closed.

We have some of his personal effects to return to the widow. His watch, wedding

ring. Oh, I can take them to her, if that helps.

Thank you.

You are done.

Are you?

Cameron.

Have you heard anything from our friend?

I'm not supposed to say anything.

I can't believe it. Kyle wouldn't want me to know she's okay. I said her name.

Are we not supposed to be saying her name?

We both know her name.

So... So I...

have spoken to her and she completed training and has begun her first

undercover assignment and she sounds pretty damn happy about it oh that's

good yes tell her that there's a plushie loch ness monster with her name on it

okay i'll let her know okay and that concludes our tribute to the great

scotty bristol in the meantime i just don't think i should do the tie bit it

was scotty's thing are you gonna fight me on everything hi laurel

Take a break. We'll argue about this later. Looking forward.

Your deal isn't closed yet.

Surprised to see you here.

We're reworking the tribute show, cutting out any trace of Mickey.

Oh, right.

Because Mickey killed him.

You know you didn't have to tell the police that Mickey confessed.

There's still spousal privilege.

You could have kept it secret.

I know, but I couldn't bear to see someone else take the blame for Scotty's

murder.

Oh, of course.

It makes total sense.

Thanks for bringing these.

You know, there's something else I was wondering about.

What's that?

Well, Detective Smullen thinks that Mickey's heart gave out because he

couldn't bear the secret guilt anymore.

But if he confessed to you, then that burden was removed. So why did he have a

heart attack?

I mean, exactly when did Mickey confess? Was it before the attack or during?

Because it certainly couldn't have been after.

Mickey knew Scotty was in love with me. He thought we were having an affair, and

I couldn't convince him that we weren't. That's why.

I see.

Wow. You just added new information in just the right spot.

So, um, did anything ever happen between you and Scotty,

say, in his office?

No.

No?

Not yes, and?

Can I have your attention please?

I know things are tough and we've had to make some

painful adjustments.

In case you haven't noticed, that is happening all over.

And the work that we do is too important to focus on petty

inconveniences.

We will get through this difficult time together.

But in the meantime, if you have a complaint,

you come to me.

This isn't my trash.

Very funny, Detective Smullen.

I know you did it for him.

I'm sorry?

I'm sure you are.

About part of it, anyway. I mean, you didn't know that things would turn out

this way.

You and Mickey and Scotty, you had a special bond.

Just like the characters in Marilyn We Roll Along, Scotty's favorite musical,

underappreciated until the recent revival.

Is there a point to this?

Yes.

Because... That bond also gave you power over each other, and Scotty used

that power to control your lives, like when he told you not to have kids, or

when he wouldn't give Mickey the break his doctors ordered.

Well, how do you know all that?

It's amazing what people will tell a page, and Scotty told me a lot.

Your plan was to make it look like an unfortunate shredding accident.

I mean, after all, Scotty loved to torture the writers with the noise.

But there was no one there to hear it. And we pieced the shredded pages back

together. It was a packet that had no jokes used on the show that night. So

why was Scotty shredding? Well, I don't know. I wasn't there.

Oh, see?

Now that's not good improv.

A better move was when you tried to pin the murder on Mickey.

after he died except the killer had to tighten scotty's tie

and then lure him over to the shredder without any sign of a struggle the

mickey couldn't have done that but you could using your 30 years history and a

little alcohol to manipulate scotty into position

Oh, this is ludicrous. Yeah, maybe.

But it was a pretty good plan.

Until after the murder, when you saw that the shredder bin was empty, thanks

to Matthew the Page.

I never forgot to empty Mickey 2.

It couldn't look like an accident if there wasn't shredded paper in the bin

and you couldn't use Mickey 2 because Scotty's body was in the way. So, you

ran back to your office, shredded the latest packet, and...

You brought that, and you put it in Scotty's bin.

Detective Smullen tried a similar trick on me, which made me think of it. For

which I have apologized.

Well, you can't prove any of this. Oh, actually, we can, because it turns out

no two shredders are the same.

The width between the blades on Mickey 2 was a quarter of an inch further apart

than the blades on the shredder.

In your office.

And only you and Matthew the Page had keys to have access to both of the

shredders. But Matthew was with the writers watching Ronan Gaines doing

stand-up at Mr. Titter's. I was sucking up.

It had to be you, Laurel.

You and Mickey and Scotty, you were old friends.

Now two of you are dead.

I didn't kill Mickey.

Not directly.

No.

We had a good thing going.

Well,

this way, please.

You really do know everything that goes on around here, don't you?

You could say that and be correct.

Could you do me a favor?

Get your way late with Scotty Bristol office supplies.

They don't want them anymore.

Too depressing.

Thank you, Elspeth.

But I'm still going to use my bagpipe stapler.

Thank you for bringing all that.

It should help calm things down here for a while. Of course.

But, uh, you know, the box wasn't that big.

The trouble isn't just over.

I know.

Well, maybe you should rethink things. No.

That's not possible.

But I... Elizabeth, it was either those cuts or get rid of you.

And that is not something I would entertain.

Hey. Oh, hey.

Thanks for a fun time.

You actually inspired me. Really?

In fact, I submitted another packet to WayLate, and Ronan Gaines bought one of

my jokes for $200.

Oh! He did?

That's so good!

Oh, wow.

See? The top job doesn't automatically make someone a monster.

Oh, this business.

My new sidekick, the only idiot willing to take this humiliating job, Matthew

the Waylaid Page!

Thank you, sir.

So glad to be your love-in. We like to promote from within. We don't like to

pay you more, and we haven't, but glad you're aboard.

Can I get you anything?