Original subtitles

Alright, Henry, let's try this again.

Left foot forward, then-- Ow!

- Sorry.

Henry, focus.

Wait, didn't you say left?

I did. That's your RIGHT foot.

Ohh. Right yeah, wait, left?

Uh... Okay what's going on here?

What? A mother can't slow dance with her son?

Uh, in the hills of Appalachia, maybe.

Well uh Mom entered us into a mother-son

dancing competition at the Mother's Day Ball.

Dammit Henry.

Uh... mother-son ball? What?

Winner gets 50% off all steaks at the Chop Factory

for one year and a private reserve King's Table

with an unobstructed view of the guy who cuts the tenderloins.

Also, we get our picture on the wall

between uh Pete Rose and Ron Jaworski.

Huh. That's a prize I'm very interested in, funny enough, uh.

Is there a reason you chose Hank instead of me?

Well, he takes direction and he's a gentleman.

Okay, wow. Uh, well, with all due respect, uh,

y'know, I am a much better dancer than Hank, so...

Oh, really? Are we forgetting the disaster

that was your eighth grade talent show?

Uh, you mean my AWESOME break-dance routine

that had the crowd going frickin' nuts?

Ha! They thought you were having a seizure.

Yeah, well, it was entertaining.

Better than whatever the hell you two are doing.

We'll see about that. Show 'em, Henry. Ready? Step-

- Wait, sorry. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

- Hank. Hank! Oh! [crash]

Uh... I think I uh, broke my right foot there.

That's your left.

(upbeat music)

♪ Well, I used to work at a hot dog factory ♪

♪ Until them robots came along ♪

♪ And now there is no job for me ♪

♪ But I get 3,000 bucks a month ♪

♪ Thanks to UBI ♪

♪ Now we're Universal Basic Guys ♪

♪ It may not sound like much ♪

♪ But we're still gonna try ♪

♪ We're just Universal Basic Guys ♪

Very nice. Dare I say you look... successful.

Yo, you kidding me.

Yo, how am I supposed to do an Air Flare if I

can't even lift my arms above my head?

Yo, I'm picking out my own outfit.

- Rhoda? - Gloria frickin' DelVecchio.

Nice of you to come home to help support your boys.

Steven told me they were both fired from the hot dog factory.

I can't even imagine how humiliating it

must be having two unemployable sons.

Hmm. Well they say this AI takes the smart jobs first...

I would never wanna be away from my Steven.

He's the light of my life.

Here you go, Ma. Brought both.

Your usual nude strapless. and the champagne push-up.

What would I do without you, Stevie-poo?

(kissing)

Ah! Steven and I are here picking out

our outfits for the Mother's Day Ball.

We're going for a three-peat in the dancing competition.

At this point, ha, I can't even imagine waiting in line

to pay full price at the Chop Factory.

Steven loves to watch the man cut the filets.

Isn't that right, Puddin-Pie?

That's right, Ma. But the best view in the house

is sitting right across from me.

Stevie-poo. You are TOO much.

- Ugh. - Will we be seeing you there?

No, unfortunately, our cousin's funeral's that weekend.

We're just here picking out a new suit for Marcus.

Boom. Now THIS is a dancing outfit.

(beatboxing)

It's a gay funeral.

This filter is my favorite.

It shows you all the plastic surgery you should get.

Oh Kardgen, please stop distracting Ms. Evans.

I'm trying to get an accurate blood pressure reading here.

I absolutely will once we get this selfie.

Mind crouching down? You're kind of in the shot.

[sigh] Okay, try not to cough or die

or anything in the next five seconds.

Hey, either of you need a liver?

This one was supposed to go to a patient in Buffalo,

but our organ delivery guy got axe'd.

Oh, that's awful! We can't just let it go to waste...

Ooh! I'll drive it to Buffalo.

I'll document the journey on my socials

to get some good press for the hospital!

Hmm... We could sure use it after Dr. Khan

left a Cliff Bar in that guy's chest cavity last week.

All right. Here you go.

Come on, buddy. I'm gonna make you a star.

Dr. Mishra, wait!

You can't trust Kardgen with an organ donation.

Half the time he's glued to his frickin' phone!

Fine. You go with him.

But you're splitting the per-diem.

Ugh...

Crap, was that our exit? Kardgen, pay attention!

Sorry, just going back and forth with our official sponsor.

We have a sponsor?

Honey, ya boy don't go to the

bathroom without a brand deal, okay? Haha.

This snack food company saw my post

about our inspiring journey and sent us a bunch of swag!

"Prawngles: Once You Prawn, The Party's On?"

They're actually super addictive And a good source of mercury.

All I gotta do is get our transplant recipient

to say the phrase "munchable crunchstacean"

and they'll make me an official brand ambassador.

Kardgen, would you please focus on the task at hand?

This trip is not about getting likes

on social media, or promoting junk food.

It's about saving a life.

It can be all of those things, Tammy!

Just because we do serious work doesn't mean we can't have fun.

Here, have a Prawngle!

[sigh] Okay, okay, I'll try one.

Oh wow, it's actually pretty good.

Right?! I think the mercury gives it a little zing.

♪ [electro break dance] ♪

Yes. Ow!

Hoho, nice one Mark!

This is ridiculous, Marcus. It's a FORMAL dance competition.

You can't just flop around like you're being tasered.

Mom, we're not gonna beat the DelVecchios

doing that boring slow dance crap.

Let all the other competitors do their

little waltzes and then BAM! we come out,

we get everybody off their seats, right?

I'm telling you, it's gonna be just like Save the Last Dance,

except I'm white and you're way less hot than Julia Stiles.

Ugh, I knew this was stupid.

We should just say we got hit by a train.

Oh-- waoh! David?!

Sorry, I'm a sucker for an impromptu dance party.

Damn, Jinglebells. Where'd you learn that?

Eh, just a move I picked up on the ballroom circuit.

Andrea and I were a hot little duo once upon a time.

You wanna be my partner in this mother-son dance competition?

We can file the adoption paperwork right now.

How 'bout I coach you guys? I've been dancing since I was a kid

and I've trained in multiple genres, ballroom,

contemporary, even tap.

Yeah, no thanks, we're good. I got this on pop and lock.

Enough, Marcus, we're not gonna beat the frickin' DelVecchio's

with whatever the hell you're doing. Take the help.

[sigh] Alright. Let's do this.

Woo-hoo! [tap dances]

That's tap for, "We start tomorrow!"

It's also Morse code for, "Fire the torpedo."

Are you walking that dog in tap shoes?

Yep.

Well, maybe someone should have clarified that their Delta Force

operators were remote controlling actual soldiers,

not running a simulation. UGHHH!

- Stressful day?

David, just tell me why you're in a leotard.

Well... I was thinking we could

dust off that basement dance studio...

give a little dancing demo to Mark and Rhoda?

As fun as that sounds, I'm currently in an optics war

with the Pentagon. I don't have time to dance.

[text] It's legal. I need to take this.

- This is Andrea. - Andrea, come on!

We haven't used the dance studio in YEARS.

I know, babe, but-- They're EXO-SUITS, Tom, not VR HEADSETS.

- You're telling me Special Ops can coordinate night raids on...

♪ Whoa-oa! Do I need the rights to your heart? ♪

♪ In my movie, you're the star! ♪

♪ Do I need the rights to your soul? ♪

(laughing) - Woo! Oh, it's fun!

Where has this Tammy been hiding?

She's actually fun!

I'm fun!

You just only ever see me when I'm in nurse mode.

Eh. Nursing's just a gig for me.

My dream is to be a full-time influencer.

[gasps] Hey, check it out!

Hashtag OrganTrail is blowing up!

Wait a minute. You posted a picture of me.

Kardgen, that is such a violation of my--

Oh, wow, heh, I actually look really good there.

Yeah, I used a filter called "Uggo Fix."

Look! Someone called me a snack.

Yooo, I knew you guys had some

sorta weird sex dungeon down here.

Yo, I don't even wanna know what that is for right there, ho hoh!

That's a vacuum cleaner, Mark.

Okay, just feel the music.

Two-three-four, one-two-three-four.

Ow! Watch it!

Ow! Yo! You watch it, okay! Just let me lead!

Yeah, I wish you would lead,

instead of pushing me around like a frickin' shopping cart.

- My God. You two are worse than I thought.

And I thought you'd be a disaster.

Andrea? I thought you had work.

Well, hard to take a Zoom call

over the sound of a foxtrot getting murdered.

It's not my fault he can't even count to three.

- Well, kind of is. - Uh yeah, because I have

untreated ADHD, thanks to my neglectful mom!

You guys need to stop blaming each other

and start BELIEVING in each other.

Here, we'll show you how it's done.

May I have this dance?

♪ [romantic] ♪

[heavy breathing]

In dance, if you don't have chemistry, you've got nothing.

Well, then I guess we got nothing.

It doesn't always come naturally.

When David and I started dating, we had

zero chemistry, but he was great on paper,

so I stuck it out, lied to myself for weeks,

and then one night we went out dancing and we just clicked.

Exactly! Dancing is role-playing.

You play the best version of yourself, and you treat

your partner as the best version of themselves.

So what, I just gotta pretend she's a good mom?

And I just gotta pretend everything

Mark does isn't a massive disappointment?

Well bingo!

Here, why don't you practice complimenting each other?

Wow, Mark, you're looking less like a BEFORE photo than usual.

Why thank you Mother, and I must say that you look less like

a painting in a haunted mansion today.

See? We're already making progress.

♪ [upbeat music] ♪

Whoa! Ow!

Oh?

♪ Well, you can't build chemistry in one day ♪

♪ One step at a time, we'll find our way ♪

♪ Yeah, you can't start a fire without flint and steel ♪

♪ Just hold me in your arms and we'll make it real ♪

[applause]

Congrats, guys.

You are officially average dancers.

Alright, hoo!

Two hours to Buffalo!

We're actually making great time.

Ooh, get a picture of me looking all snack-y at the pump. Ready?

Yaaas! Work that nozzle! - Yeah!

Oh my God, are you guys those nurses from #OrganTrail?

Um... yes! Yes, we are!

Ooh, are you the guys who said I look like a snack?!

Tammy, that's Bryce and Tanner Daltry, AKA The Flex Bros!

They're only two of the most popular

influencers-wannabe- boxers on the planet.

This fall, Bryce is fighting Monica Seles.

Could we get a pic with you guys?

Oh my God! I mean... yes! [giggles]

Sick. Dude, that's awesome. - Let's go, okay!

- Organ Trail! So cool.

Oh man, you know what would be hilarious?

If we did a video where the liver's in the car with us.

And it looks like the liver is driving.

- Yes, bro! THAT could do numbers.

Uh... yeah! Totally...

- Oh dude, that's gonna be so good.

Oh my God. wait, can we do it like this...

I know this seems like a really dumb bit,

but they have an incredible intuition for their audience.

Mostly pre-teen Nazi curious straights.

Whoa, dude! That liver's driving our car!

- Move over, liver, I'm taking the wheel!

- Oh my God, dude!

Where are they going?

They're just committing to the bit.

I'm sure they'll turn around soon.

[car drives off]

Heh. Yup. This is gonna be epic. Hahaha...

Okay, they might not be coming back.

May I please have one beer...

... And one Amaretto Sour for my beautiful mother.

Thank you, my handsome, financially stable son.

[sighs] Ugh.

Can we give the fake lovey-dovey crap a break for one night?

Hell yeah. Yo, I gotta be honest Mom,

it's pretty exhausting trying to pretend

like you're the perfect mother, okay?

Well, it's hard to be the perfect mother

when your son is a walking case study.

Ah, there she is.

That's the mom I know and l-- live with.

Alright, we just gotta power through this nice crap

for another 24 hours, beat the DelVecchios,

and then you and I are gonna be enjoying

some discounted filets while we watch

the dude cut those tenderloins, baby.

Mark frickin' Hoagies.

Steve frickin' DelVecchio.

- Rhoda frickin' Hoagies.

- Gloria frickin' DelVecchio.

You talk to my mother like that,

and I'll knock your son's teeth out.

Bring it, little man.

My son would dip you in cheese and eat you for breakfast.

One more word about my angel and I'll slap those dentures out.

Yo you better control your mom, Steve.

You mess with mine, you deal with me...

watching her beat the crap outta your mother.

I swear to God! - Ah ah! Hey hey! Stevie!

Don't sink to their level. They'll get what's coming.

Sorry, Ma.

See you at the Mother's Day Brunch... Hoagies.

Oh my God, I hate them.

Well, that's one thing we agree on.

I can't wait to see their faces

when we kick their ass at the brunch.

♪ [upbeat] ♪

- Ugh, God. Look at her chemistry.

- Like watching vile, fetish pornography.

- Disgusting. - Disgusting.

- (together) We're screwed.

- Aw c'mon, watch your feet! - What are you doing?

Hey hey hey, guys, what's happening here?

David, it's hopeless, okay.

We've got no chance of beating the DelVecchios.

Aw but you've made such great strides!

Our fake nice don't stand a chance

against their genuine schmaltz.

So you're just gonna give up?

Sweetheart, the only way we'd have a chance

is if you two were dancing FOR us, okay?

Huh. Ya know... that actually might be possible...

[click] Humantis Spectre Suits.

Prototypes of our Remotely Operated Combat Exo-Skeletons

that let elite soldiers puppeteer

untrained infantry from 1,000 miles away.

That way, only crappy soldiers get killed.

You activate them by pressing the button on your back - [beep]

We'll handle the dancing.

All you have to do is smile. [beep]

- Yoooo!

Yoooo!/Yoooo!

This is what happens when your eye is off the ball.

Why would a couple of YouTubers wanna steal a frickin' liver?!

- Oh, no.

- What up, Flex Army!

We got our hands on a human liver,

and we're gonna eat it LIVE tomorrow.

Hashtag CannibalChallenge! It's gonna be insane.

They're gonna eat the liver?!

What the hell is wrong with these guys?

The Flex Bros will do anything for clout, Tammy!

God, this is all my fault.

You were right not to trust me with the liver!

Hey! Listen to me.

You may not be the world's greatest nurse--

- Okay, unnecessary...

But if there's one thing I know you're amazing at,

it's social media stuff.

Now is there any way to locate them from that video?

I mean, that's the bubble couch in their influencer mansion

I've been trying to get invited to for like, six months.

(mechanical whirring) Uh... okay. Hi.

Ay yo, Mom, they got crab legs.

Oh, oh, there we go. Ohh...

(chomping)

Would you stop acting like an animal?

The judges are watching.

Ugh. Dammit.

Oh, Stevie, you have your father's fingers. Mmm!

Oh my God. Get a room.

Oh, we will.

At a five-star hotel. Because my son is gainfully employed.

- [snickers]

Come, Stevie. Mother needs help stretching her quads.

You ready to smoke those freaks?

Let's do it.

- What is this place? - It's an influencer mansion.

Where the Flex Bros make all their content.

They call it... The Rizz Palace.

Well if we wanna get in there, we're gonna need disguises.

What do we got in the car?

Just some old scrubs and a bunch of Prawngles merch.

Here at Prawngles, we're all about celebrating good times.

Which is why we're so interested in partnering with you guys

on a bold new sponsored campaign,

"The Flex Bros: American Prawn Stars."

Oh, this is just great timing, actually.

We're about to eat a human liver on the livestream.

Maybe we chase it with some Prawngles.

Oh wow! That sounds uh... great.

Heheh. A human liver, huh? You sure that's legal?

We had our lawyer check it out.

Yo, DJ LawKing, we're good, right?

(air horn blaring)

Air horn means we're good.

Right... well uh, why don't you

guys pick out some Prawngles swag?

Oh hell yeah. We love swag.

My underwear literally says Cheez-Its.

Go, go, go!

♪ [suspense] ♪

- Um, can I help you?

- Oh my God! You're At-Gretchen-Glistens,

the frickin' Taylor Swift of skinfluence TikTok!

You know, you'd actually look really cute

if you got rid of those 11 lines

with some fillers and a Vitamin A regimen.

Thanks, girly. Love your metal straw, bee tee dubs.

Way to save those turtles.

♪ [suspense] ♪

[gasp]

These are unreal, bro!

Seriously, what's in these things?

Uh, dehydrated shellfish, and a little bit of mercury.

Wait... did you say "shellfish?"

- Ah, I got it! I got the liver!

Hey, that's the guy we stole the liver from!

You just got Prawned, dorks!

- Oh no, somebody help us! - What's the matter?

He's allergic to shellfish. (gasps)

Oh my God. - Uhh... Okay...

♪ [upbeat] ♪

(audience applauds)

Let's give it up for Steve and Gloria DelVecchio!

Yeah, oh baby! Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Up next is Rhoda Hoagies dancing with her very special son, Mark.

Alright, Jinglebells, let's dance.

[Beep] We're live. You ready?

Since the day we met. C'mere, you.

Easy now.

♪ [upbeat] ♪

Oh yeah. Okay.

Oh.

I thought you said these two hated each other!

Oh, David!

(laughs)

(struggling)

Come here, you...

Hahah okay...

Oh!

Oh...

Oh!

Oh!

Uh... is this supposed to be part of the Foxtrot? Uh--

I think we just took a hard left into tango territory.

Oh.

Oh-- whoa--

Oh oh oh!

Whoa, whoa. Stand down.

David... take me.

God, I love it when you tell me what to do.

Argh! - Oh! Oh! Oh!

What the hell are they doing down there?!

- I don't know

- Mwah. - Oh.

Oh no no no no no!

I swear this is a dance move, everyone.

- Cut the livestream. - HIT THAT FRICKIN' BUTTON MARK!

- I CAN'T.

That was amazing... [beep]

[together } OH MY GOD.

[button press]

Ah, ah...

Help me up.

- Hey son? - Uh... yes Mother?

Enough of this romantic crap.

Hey DJ, play some of that crappy breakdancing music.

♪ [breakdance] ♪

This is obscene!

Ooh! Oh crap! Sorry, Mom!

All good, doll.

I'm in a $4 million back brace. I'm practically invincible.

Hell yeah, you are.

[wheezing] What are we gonna do, man?

He didn't know there was shellfish in the Prawngles!

You can't die on me, dude. I don't know the Hulu password!

Does anyone have an EpiPen?!

Uh, what? An epic pen?

Forget it. We need to go to the hospital!

No time...

Sorry, girly.

He needs this more than the turtles.

[stab]

You're alive, dude! - Sick.

Where did you learn how to do an emergency tracheotomy?

TikTok.

[croaking] Hey, dude.

It was cool of you to save my life,

even after we stole your liver.

Yeah, I think we're even. My friend almost killed you

and now you have a hole in your neck, so...

- It's cool. I'm blowing up on TrachTok.

If you want, you can move into the Rizz Palace

and do some collabs with us.

For real, dude. Neck Hole Challenge could be huge.

Heh. Thanks, guys.

But for me, saving lives isn't just an online challenge.

It's my job.

Yeah. And it turns out, he's actually pretty damn good at it.

Okay, we're down to our top two.

Let's hear it for Steve and Gloria DelVecchio.

(kissing)

And Mark and Rhoda Hoagies!

And the winner is...

[drum roll]

A TIE!

You ALL win the grand prize-- [applause]

a reserved table at the Chop Factory Steakhouse!

Heads up, you have to attend as a foursome to be seated.

So looks like you'll be having quite a few dinners together.

Congrats!

♪ [soft piano] ♪

How's the uh, ribeye?

Fine.

How's the filet?

Ah, pretty good, thanks. Pretty good, yeah.

Did you uh...

mm-- see the guy over there,

he's cutting th- the tenderloins?

Yep, I've b-- I've been watching him.

How is everything?

Very nice, thanks, Connor.

- Do you guys want to see a dessert menu?

Uh, nah, just the check.

You sure? It's like, free for you guys.

[moaning]

Uh yeah... we're good.