Original subtitles

♪ upbeat rock music

You see that guy there?

No, not that guy. The fella on the back seat.

Yeah, that guy. That's me, Jeff.

Last summer, I got a job working on a TV show

with the legend Bill Murray.

Absolute pleasure to meet you.

- Jeff? - Jeff.

While he traveled around Ireland with his friend Tom

playing golf.

Oh, smoked.

And exploring the country of their ancestors.

I feel like these are my guys.

I feel at home.

My job was to look after Bill.

Make cups of tea and what have you.

And just try not to annoy anyone.

Seafood chowder, and then, they have a seasonal

- soup of the day. - I'll go with the chowder.

Now, I love golf,

but this isn't a show about golf.

No, no, Lord.

Or even about Bill Murray.

Bill Cosby!

This episode was supposed to be about Irish storytelling.

But as we're beginning to learn with Bill...

Turn around, get behind me,

and show that window way over there.

...it's not always as simple as that.

Anyway, this show is a fun one.

As yet another Hollywood star joins the trip.

Oh, you bastard!

So just come along

for the ride and enjoy yourself.

It's pretty much all I did.

And here's the mad bit,

I actually got paid for it.

Bill and Tom were right at the bottom of Ireland,

where Bill's ancestors came from.

I've drawn a helpful map to show you.

Bill arrived in the country with a set of golf clubs

and not much else.

So, he needed help switching up

his fits before he drowned.

I think a vest is a good idea.

How about that logo?

Don't take any money off him.

Okay.

I'll take money off him.

Helping him find the right gear,

that became one of my little jobs.

- Yeah. - Like, that doesn't have

the club logo, so I bought that

just in case you want something with the logo, you see.

They have other colors there if you want to have a look.

Um, no, it's okay.

I think.

No, it's okay. You know what?

I wanted one with a... with a thing on it.

♪ somber guitar music

Back when they founded Cork Golf Club in 1888,

this whole place was a limestone quarry

with guys blasting chunks out of the ground

to build the city of Cork.

Then somewhere along the line,

somebody took a look around and thought, "Golf."

Since then, the club's expanded into an 18-hole classic.

We got the place to ourselves.

Even better, we were being joined

by one of my all-time favorite Irishmen,

Bill's friend, the actor and comedian Chris O'Dowd.

Wow.

So, Chris, do you want to go

and introduce yourself to Bill?

- Yes. - Just, it might be good

just for TV to sort of say, get that meeting on camera.

- You got it. - Okay, off you go.

All right.

Now, I'd never realized this before,

but in TV, loads of the meet and greet stuff,

everyone's just pretending.

- Good morning, William. - All right, here we go.

How are you? This is us, is it?

- This is us. This is exciting. - John Warner.

- Pleasure. - Tom.

Tom, that's right.

And you're Jamie Dornan, aren't you?

That's-- It's okay, that's just Irish gamesmanship.

After this one,

they stopped trying to stage meet and greets

because it felt like Bill didn't enjoy the pretending,

which is ironic, given he's an actor.

Anyway, time for the golf.

Nice shot.

Yes.

Oh, shit, I hit it over there. God darn it.

♪ "Bentley's Gonna Sort You Out" by Bentley Rhythm Ace playing ♪

Where the hell is it?

I can't promise we'll find it.

Okay.

There we go. Why didn't I do that before?

Chris and Bill know each other from a while back.

They were in a film together called St. Vincent,

where Chris plays a priest.

Jesus.

And Bill plays a heavy-drinking old man...

with a certain disregard for rules.

Must've been tough.

Uh...

♪ I love it... ♪

I think it went in, did it?

It must have, but I didn't see it.

- Did it go in...? - It hit the tree,

but I didn't see it come down afterwards.

- It must be in the hole. - It might be,

might still be rising.

That's nowhere near hard enough.

Oh, God.

I have to tell you this story.

We were in Toronto, and we'd spent the whole morning

in different hotel rooms doing a press junket.

- Mm-hmm. - Halfway through the morning,

you came in, knocked on my door, and you said,

"Hey, do you want to go for pancakes at lunch?"

And we were driving for 15, 20 minutes. Eventually,

we arrived at this beautiful house, friends of Bill's.

I think they had, they were the Roots guys, I think, right?

- That's right. - And it was an ice rink

out the back, and there was pancake chefs

and all this stuff and dozens of people. It was beautiful.

And we were there for an hour and a half.

There was a couple of champagnes and all this.

And I said to Bill at some point,

"You know, it's great that the producers let us,

let us come and do this," and Bill says,

"Well, I didn't tell them we were leaving."

And then, I think they may have joined us,

but I thought it was ballsy.

I have no problem believing that, every bit of that story.

They were working us too hard.

And those-- and the pancakes--

It's-it's actually a French toast that she makes.

That's what it was.

French toast. That's what it was.

♪ jaunty music

Cork Golf Club is a beautiful hidden gem.

A stunning place to spend the afternoon.

Yes. Yes. Oh!

Even when your luck's not it.

Oh, no, that's not it at all.

Why did I rush? Why did I rush?

It's cool to come to a place like this where,

you know, there's not six tour buses full of people like myself

in the parking lot, you know,

genuinely Irish.

I mean, the golf course itself,

I think we're all pretty blown away.

Oh, sweet Georgia pie!

Look at that.

You know that we're of a breed, you know,

but there are people that...

There's-- there are...

flowers that grow higher than the others.

There are flowers that bloom earlier

and last longer than the others, you know.

You know, he's a particularly fertile one, right.

♪ upbeat percussive music

It's called a cliff shot.

Elevated maybe 40 yards.

Gonna have to keep it. You see Bill Murray over there?

I'm gonna try and essentially aim for his noggin.

I mean, just the lilt of him, you know,

he gets-- he hits some high notes.

I mean, his voice goes way up there, and you go...

Oh, we've got a south by southwest wind!

We should take another eight yards.

You know, that's like,

that's like pushing the clouds around, that voice. Yeah.

Did Chris end up up there? How?

I think he hit it up there.

Whoa!

That was cool.

- Great shot. - Thank you.

I've never seen someone end up up there.

It's very straightforward stuff, really.

For a small island,

we've turned out an awful lot of funny people.

Dave Allen.

Brendan Behan.

Sharon Horgan.

We've been invited?

- Me, too? - Yes.

Oh, God, really?

And that's before you get to

the ones that picked up American accents,

like George Carlin.

Could I possibly have been listening to that?

Conan O'Brien.

And Bill.

I believe that we use humor really because,

if people knew how smart we were, they wouldn't trust us,

so we have to cloak it in something that's more palatable,

less confrontational,

and somehow more welcoming,

which is something I've always loved about Bill.

He has that humor.

Of course, his grandmother was a very funny woman.

God, and what a dart player.

Nice.

Everyone agreed the scenery had been beautiful.

As usual, Tom made the whole thing look annoyingly easy.

Oh, that is a beaut.

Chris was a bit rusty, but full of promise.

- Hit it. Oh! - Hit it. Oh!

And while the day had been a frustrating one for Bill,

with golf, you can be right on the edge of quitting

before you're reminded why you came.

- This is the shot. - Ooh! Yes, yes.

- Get in. - Yes!

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

What a fucking hit.

Did you get it?!

Did you get it?!

Thank you, Bill. Lovely stuff in there, pal.

Thanks very much.

We finished up on the 18th and hit the road.

The plan was to go to County Kerry over on the west coast,

where they'd be spending the next few days.

After a few hours, the boys pulled over

for a toilet break at a local pub about here.

Let's take a leak.

Do you mind if I take a leak, too?

Let's all take a leak.

- Let's take a leak. - But as we were all

beginning to realize with Bill,

you can stop for 30 seconds to have a quick wee...

...and before you know it, the whole town

has turned out for a party.

We-we stopped to use the bathroom,

and now, we're meeting half of Ireland.

Chris, are you coming for a pint?

I've not been around famous people much,

but as I watched him in that pub,

I did begin to wonder,

how long would all this be fun for?

A day? A week?

Imagine being as famous as Bill for even an hour.

It looks exhausting.

Uh, did everyone get their piss?

That was a hit.

That was probably one of the greatest hits

I've had in-in memory.

That was really fun.

How do you deal with photos, Bill?

You know, I come from the era where, like,

I thought autographs were the worst thing that ever happened,

and I'd give anything to have it back.

- Yeah. - But, um...

You know, I've-I've done all kinds of things

and tried to control it and do it according to my terms.

- Yes. - And I find that

it's an enormous waste of energy to ever try to direct it.

Yes.

Now, I just jump in and go,

"Let's get-- do this."

I take the camera,

- I take the picture. - Yeah.

You say, "Give me your phone."

You just cut it by 75%.

The minute that somebody tries to hand

their phone to another person, you've lost.

You're done. You are fucked. Yeah.

♪ jaunty music

It was late by the time

they arrived at the cottage in Dingle,

which, as luck would have it,

was full of musical instruments.

Although, of course, none of this stuff

really happens by accident.

Okay, guys, have a go.

Oh, it's out of tune.

♪ Golf balls... ♪

- ♪ Golf balls ♪ - This is fun.

Do you know "Ave Maria"?

♪ gentle music

The next morning, the boys woke up to views over

the Dingle Peninsula, the most westerly point in Ireland.

It's the kind of place that makes you understand

why so many songs, poems, and stories began here.

One of nine children,

Bill learned his comic craft at home.

Competing with his siblings

to see who could make the family laugh the hardest.

You think of yourself as a storyteller?

Well, I had to learn how to tell a story

to do... to-to learn the craft that I,

such as it is, that I have.

Like, when I first tried to be an actor,

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't improvise. I didn't know how

to be on my feet to be able to tell a story.

I often joke, like, you know,

when you're trying to be funny and no one laughs at all,

I-I just say, "Oh, my God, I'm so alone here.

I'm so alone here."

And you know, it can feel like that.

You know, the world can feel like that.

Like there's a whole horizon out there

and there's no sign of life.

Life is hard, and we can't do it alone.

We just can't do it alone.

And that's, uh...

I think you see it in this landscape.

And there are a lot of laughs over here.

I think it's a place where you find laughs,

so it might be a place where we, uh,

where you feel less alone.

They are having a great time here,

and they're looking at you to say,

are we not having the time of our lives over here? And it's...

I'm getting it from all of them.

It's fun. It's really fun being here.

Oh, my God.

Feck.

- What's feck? - Feck?

Feck is a word that we use, right?

In a way that it's...

You can say "fuck" without saying "fuck."

Like, my priest would've said "feck" on the altar.

- Like with-- Yeah. - Really? Really?

- Really? - Yeah.

- Feck. - And...

I tried to...

use it in a TV show pre-watershed,

and the broadcaster started complaining about it, right.

So, I unearthed this old legal case

between Bulmers Cider and the government.

They had come up with a bus advert

for their cider, and it said "Feck off, bees."

And they had formulated the argument legally

that "feck" doesn't actually have the sexual connotations

of "fuck," and they won.

- No way. - Yeah.

So, f... Ah, that's... Feck.

So, feck is used to replace fuck,

- but it actually has no... - Actually has its own...

...linguistic relationship to it.

That sounds like a little bit of fecking bullshit.

♪ gentle music

The lads decided

to check out a traditional rambling house,

a meeting spot for exchanging stories and music.

- Off you go. - Are we going in?

- Oh, yeah. - Oh.

Well, I guess, technically,

the production had decided to check it out,

and they'd agreed not to argue about it.

Action.

Where do you, where do you get an Irish coffee around here?

- You're very welcome. - Thank you very much.

Very, very welcome to Fionnúig.

You've reached the hub of the universe now, so yeah.

- Lovely to meet you. Thank you. - When you've reached,

when you've reached Shane's thatched cottage

here in Fionnúig,

where the walls-- 300 years old--

tell stories and plenty ghosts there as well.

Oh, ghosts.

A few hundred years ago,

Bill, Tom, and Chris's ancestors

might well have met up in a cottage like this

and sung songs, told jokes,

or just gossiped with their neighbors.

The idea is that everybody can do something.

That's what we are trying to do here with the rambling house.

We're bringing stories to life.

Do you know, the kingdom where

the stories were always here,

and that's what we're trying to do.

And so, that's what a rambling house is?

You just come in and tell tales?

You just come in, you tell stories,

- songs, and play music. - Yeah.

When you come to a rambling house,

uh, everybody has something to say or tell

when they come in the door, so

if you'd like to sing a song for us

or tell a yarn or whatever you'd like to do.

♪ From Kerry to Belfast and Old Donegal...♪

There was a time when just about every village

in Ireland had a rambling house.

But by the 1970s,

they all but disappeared, replaced by television.

♪ It's easier than causing a fuss ♪

In his head, mammy's words, they were ringing.

Oh, that dancing could well be a sin.

As he ran out the door, Tom was singing,

"You're going out the same way you came in."

♪ Well, I would swim ♪

♪ The deepest ocean... ♪

But they're on the rise again now,

and they'll welcome anyone.

I warn you, though, you will be asked to join in.

♪ Grand ♪

♪ But the sea is wide ♪

♪ And I cannot swim over ♪

♪ Nor have I ♪

♪ The wings to fly... ♪

Chris's song was an absolute banger.

And Tom followed up with a passage from his book.

"What in the hell are you doing out here with golf clubs?

It wasn't the time for that particular question,

but it was still a pretty damn good one."

But Bill didn't seem into it.

Bill, would you like to do something for us?

- You look good anyway. - Yeah.

You look good anyway. When I was growing up,

and I was looking for a man,

and I asked my mother for a bit of advice.

What should I look out for?

And she told me, "A fiddler

between the sheets

is better than an orchestra under the bed."

So, lads, we have

a few fine men here. Three, so we might be in luck yet.

Everybody that comes through the door,

we encourage them to do something.

And I'm so delighted you all did. Bill, don't let down

the tradition. Do something for us, anything at all.

Okay.

♪ In Banbridge town in the County Down ♪

♪ One morning last July ♪

♪ From a boreen green came a sweet colleen ♪

♪ And she smiled as she passed me by ♪

♪ She looked so sweet from her two bare feet ♪

♪ To the sheen of her nut-brown hair ♪

♪ Such a coaxing elf ♪

♪ Sure I shook myself to see I was really there ♪

Meanwhile, I was easing into the job.

Being a runner didn't seem to involve much actual running,

but I was getting to chat about movies with a Hollywood icon.

I watched, uh, I watched The Phonetic Scheme last month.

- What did you watch? - Phonetic Scheme.

Oh, okay.

You said "phonetics," that's what confused me.

I think it's called Phoenician Scheme.

"Phonetic Scheme" is funny, though.

Did you like "The Phonetic Scheme"?

I thought it was amazing. He's my favorite director.

Okay.

I'll tell him. He'll get a kick out of "Phonetic Scheme."

And I was beginning to relax a bit.

There was just one problem.

I'll tell you what I would like. I'd like to know where

I can get some ink for a Montblanc fountain pen.

Montblanc fountain pen.

- Probably... - Probably down in town, in Cork.

...straight-straight through there. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Probably not at the clubhouse.

- No. - Now, I'll be honest,

I sort of thought he was joking.

- You know, bottles. - I'm sure we can, uh,

- we can sort that. - Okay.

And so, I didn't buy any ink,

and five days later...

Jeff, Bill was asking about his ink.

I must admit, I shat my pants.

I spent the next 24 hours

sprinting around Dingle Peninsula

desperately trying to find some ink,

meaning, I didn't find out about what happened next until later.

That evening, the production planned to film

Bill and Chris talking about storytelling in the local pub,

but Bill announced he wanted to go to a music recital

in a church instead.

That's where you'd like to go tonight?

That's where I'm going to go tonight.

Now, I can't imagine anything more boring,

but Bill was bang into it.

Talk about having music, this is gonna be good music.

Get the music, you know? It's their show.

It's not the Bill Murray fucking show. It's their show.

In the end, everyone decided

it was safest if we just kept our distance.

And we focused our efforts on filming

Tom and Chris in the local pub.

Well, cheers, Chris. Cheers to you, my friend.

Cheers, Tommy.

- Big fan of yours, obviously. - Oh, shut up, Tom.

No, I am. I am.

I'm not talking about your acting.

- I'm talking about your golf. - Yeah.

I think, every once in a while, you hit one so well,

it makes you feel like, if I can do that,

- why can't I do it every time? - Yes.

Or at least maybe the next time.

It's the same problem I have

in terms of lovemaking with my wife, you know.

Because it was that one great,

and now, the expectation.

But you know, the conditions are different.

- Right. Every time... - And the wind's blowing.

Yeah.

I don't know too many Irish people

that aren't at least a little bit funny.

I do think that, pound for pound,

it's the funniest country in the world.

I would agree.

I'm fascinated by the fact that

a country geographically the size of Indiana,

with, you know, maybe seven million people,

is cranking out, you know, how many Nobel Prize winners,

how many actors, how many poets,

how many artists.

- How does that happen? - That's interesting, isn't it?

In the last century, Seán Lemass,

1960s, really pushed all of the money going like,

"We're gonna educate our people

until we can no longer be ruled by anybody else."

And that was a huge change, I think.

We're now the most educated

- nation in the world. - Yeah.

We just passed Switzerland and Singapore last month.

We're the only country in the world

where half of the people have a degree, which is extraordinary.

- That is amazing. - And I think that

there is definitely something in our use of language

that must translate to...

...the lack of our own.

The English language is so

extraordinarily basic,

and so, I think Irish writers

are always searching for something else,

and that's why they're...

they're reaching into the cobwebs

of the corners that other writers don't reach for,

because they're still searching and yearning for something

that was probably taken from them.

So little left of the Irish language.

We're going through a massive resurgence of it,

- which is incredible. - Yes.

And I hope that it'll spawn

even more extraordinary writing and music and art.

When you get to a civilization,

and you're really pushing music and art,

you know that the rest of society

- is generally going fairly well. - Hundred percent.

Something it lets you do as well, I think,

is not take yourself so seriously.

Yes.

And you're good at that.

Bill's good at that, too.

Been great to travel with the two of you

a-and to laugh with you guys. It's-it's been a real joy.

Ah, such a pleasure.

When the folk concert was over,

they all met up at Foxy John's on the high street.

Here, Bill, I have a seat here for you.

I'm coming.

Which is a hardware shop by day and a pub by night.

We'd set out to make an episode about storytelling,

and I suppose that's what we got,

just not always where we expected to find it.

Come on, get in here.

I'll hold that money for you. Just for the musicians.

I'm gonna sort her out. I'm gonna sort her out.

As for Bill, we'd learned that he might

be one of the world's most experienced performers,

but he's not a performing monkey.

The more you want him to do something,

the less likely he is to do it.

Sure enough,

the moment we packed up the cameras and left,

it was showtime.

♪ In Banbridge town, in the County Down ♪

♪ One morning last July ♪

♪ From a boreen green came a sweet colleen ♪

♪ She smiled as she passed me by ♪

♪ She looked so sweet, from her two bare feet ♪

♪ To the sheen of her nut-brown hair ♪

♪ Such a coaxing elf, sure I shook myself ♪

♪ For to see I was really there ♪

♪ From Bantry Bay, up to Derry Quay ♪

♪ And from Galway to Dublin town ♪

♪ No maid I've seen like the fine colleen ♪

♪ I met in the County Down ♪

♪ As she onward sped ♪

♪ Sure I scratched my head, and I looked with a feeling rare ♪

♪ And I said, says I, to a passerby ♪

♪ Who's the maid with the nut-brown hair...♪

Each and every person in the pub that night

came out with their own little Bill Murray story to tell.

Just like me.

♪ Young Rosie McCann from the banks of the Bann ♪

♪ She's the star of the County Down ♪

♪ From Bantry Bay to Derry Quay ♪

♪ From Galway to Dublin town ♪

♪ No maid I've seen like the sweet colleen ♪

♪ That I met in the County ♪

♪ Down ♪

By the way, I never did get his ink.

Someone else sorted that for me.

♪ upbeat rock music