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[theme song]
Thud.
♪ I gotcha with my winnin' smile ♪
♪ I'm a livin' lesson in flair and style ♪
♪ You just can't help but stare at my savoir-faire ♪
♪ I'm Nouveau Deco Roman-Greco ♪
♪ Rococo Barroco bee-bop and hip-hop ♪
♪ Uh flip-flop somebody stop me ♪
♪ Pretty viridian faces like mine ♪
♪ Don't come a dime a dozen ♪
♪ I stand out in a crowd ♪
♪ Babe when they made me yeah they broke the mold ♪
♪ Wholesome and kind staid and refined ♪
♪ Totally out of my mind ♪
♪ Arch villains and ne'er-do-wells ♪
♪ Had better learn to decorate prison cells ♪
♪ Green goes with anything if they ask see? ♪
♪ Well there's one last thing I gotta sing about ♪
♪ Open up wide and really shout ♪
♪ Oh-h-h look out ♪
♪ This is The Mask ♪♪
S-s-s-smokin'!
[Stanley] 'How come the closest I get to female companionship'
'is my landlady's bad breath in my face?'
'I could stop by the bank and see Matilda.'
'She's going out with me Friday.'
'Well, not going out exactly'
but she agreed to maybe let me walk her to her car.
Thud.
Ipkiss! How many times do I have to tell you?
You're thinking too loud!
Ooh, what I'd like to do to her!
I wish.
'But I know who can.'
Time for a little visit from our friend..
'...The Mask.'
[whimpering]
Heh heh heh.
I'll show her "Thinking loud."
Yeeeehhh..
No. I can't.
I want to. No. Yes. No.
'Yes. No. Yes.'
Must make Peenman pay dearly.
No. Must use mask for good.
Yehh! Oh, but I... ohh!
Whoo. Oh, man, that was close.
Heh heh.
Milo, buddy, that mask is really dangerous.
Don't you ever let me use it, okay?
[growls [breathing heavily]
[bell ringing]
The Edge City Bank alarm.
Matilda!
Just this once.
[whooshing]
What's that racket go..
S-s-s-smokin'!
Is hazardous to your health.
Boom.
This has been a public service announcement.
Ha ha ha!
[alarm ringing]
Come on! Come on! Come on!
- What? - Are we there yet, daddy?
- Get out. - You first.
Boing.
My day job!
I just can't get enough of this place.
[babbling]
Skydiver's rule number one.
'Always pack a parachute!'
I could hold you in my arms all night long
but the woman I love is in that bank.
[grunting]
I'm sorry. Did you still need me?
Nothing like ending a workout
with a full body massage, eh, champ?
You're a wrecking machine.
Aaaahh!
Hurts so good!
[growls]
Point of interest..
You dropped your towel.
Screech screech
crash.
Standard-model mask now comes with dual airbags.
Aah!
You're not robbing any bank.
Fair Matilda, I doth come to thine rescue!
Oh.
Fair Matilda, I doth..
[gasping] Aaaahh!
Hmm. She doth not seem impressed
by the heavy metal look, forsooth.
Screech Slim, Montana, I done warned y'all
not to be robbing banks in my town.
Now I'm gonna have take you in.
But first..
Hey, where's the car?
[indistinct]
Hey, come on, let's go.
Matilda!
Wherefore art thou, Matilda?
Matilda!
Oh, look at the time.
Oh, God, look, I got to go. Be a good dog, Milo.
- Peggy! - Stanley!
You made the front page.
'Surveillance cameras got it all!'
What are you talking.. Aah!
Peggy, how could you..
Ohh. "Just the facts really?"
For a second, I thought it was a real newspaper.
Hey, I don't make fun of your job.
Look, Stanley, you're my only hope
of making it in this business, you're real news.
You think I like reporting
about Martian landings and Elvis sightings?
Okay, okay, so I sold you up the river
to some mobsters, once.
Can't we put that behind us?
Oh, Stanley, I won't let on you're the Mask.
Promise.
Reflex?
You're the only one who knows my secret.
Well, you and Milo.
"The masked man with the powers
of a superman strikes again."
[chuckles] I've been following his exploits
with much scientific curiosity.
But I'm an impatient reader.
'Gentlemen, make the true identity'
of the Mask known to me.
There are things he and I need to discuss.
The police have everything under control.
No need to alarm the public with grim tidings.
We must emphasize the positive
the unveiling of my new statue, for instance.
This evening. Edge City Square. Ooh, I look good.
Ahem. And be true to our slogan.
"Edge City where the fluff is..
And crime isn't!"
Bang bang.
Duck and cover! They're shooting at us. Oh, not the face!
[car backfire]
[metal clanking]
[giggling] Mayor.
Car needs tuning.
Your final paycheck, Matilda.
Better luck at your next job.
Oh, look.
Here's Stanley with a parting gift.
[clanking]
Charlie, you can't fire her.
It's not her fault the crooks got away.
Oh, yes, I can fire her.
Since I'm now, ahem, the bank manager.
But I'm not firing her. She's quitting.
- Is it true, Matilda? - Ya.You betcha.
I'm leaving the bank and Edge City.
Too many cuckoos in this town.
Tha-that-that green face, it was horrible!
It-it knew my name.
I guess Friday's off, then.
Ha ha ha! Don't take it personally, buddy.
It's not like that was you here
in the bank last night.
Was it?
Me? Me? Ha ha!
Ch-Charlie, come on.
Charlie, you know I got rid of that thing.
Yeah. Too bad. Gentlemen!
I'm the, ahem, bank manager.
I'm happy for you, scooter.
But if I catch that cough you're passing around
I'll show you a game we play downtown with a rubber-hose.
And if you think that sounds like fun, think again.
Drop the dumb act, Ipkiss.
Not only was the mask here last night but he was seen
in your apartment building, on your floor.
[gasps] What a coincidence.
Coincidence? Sure.
Like Doyle eating that doughnut's a coincidence.
- Hi, huh! - It's an act of nature!
Clang.
Lieutenant, your pants.
Doyle!
I know.
Better not slip up, butterfingers.
"Cause nothing would make me happier'
than giving payback to some green-faced freak
who hands out bum cigars to sweet old ladies.
[exhales] Sweet?
Stanley, I'm running late. Could you babysit for a spell?
You're such a dear. Bye.
'Oh, please, it's Francis.'
I do volunteer work for Mayor Tilton's.
Keep Edge City fluffy project, you know.
They're unveiling a statue in his honor today.
Oh! And no cartoons for baby. They're too violent!
The police suspect he's the Mask.
Then we must get to this Ipkiss before they do.
- Right. - Remain!
His fighting abilities could prove too uncanny
for the likes of a mere human.
Walter!
Bring Ipkiss to me.
Milo, Matilda called me "It! It!"
Well, not me exactly, but it is me.
I mean, he is me. Isn't he?
[door creaking]
Whatever.
I mean, The Mask didn't even stop the crooks.
'Didn't get me a date, either.'
'Some casanova.'
'Some crime fighter.'
The only thing he did do was to get on the most-wanted list
and-and blow up Mrs. Peenman. He he he!
'Okay, so she deserved it.'
'But the point is, the mask can't be trusted.'
'It has a mind of its own.'
Milo, that mask doesn't help me.
It just makes my life miserable.
You know... maybe I should just get rid of it.
[gasp] No!
Waaaahhh.
Ga-ga goo-goo.
Ha ha ha.
Thud thud thud.
Give... give me, baby.
Come here. Come here.
Give me that. Give me that.
[Francis] 'Stanley, I'm home!'
thud.
I hate to spoil all your fun!
[Stanley screaming]
Bow bow [grunts]
Stanley?
Baby?
Everything alright in there?
[grunting]
Hey, give it to me!
Come on, baby. Come on.
[panting]
Buddy... you are outta here!
[machine whirring]
Let her rip.
So long, pal.
It's been real.
No, it's been surreal.
Splash
[engine whirring]
Thud.
♪ Hey guess what I ain't got no mask ♪
♪ Don't you dare ask 'cause I ain't got no mask ♪
♪ That's amazing but it's gone baby ♪♪
♪ Ya-da-bop-a-doo-doo ♪
♪ Sharpenin' my pencil ♪♪
Stanley, you know I look for every opportunity
to offer you career advancement.
Boy, you're always thinking, aren't you, Chuck?
I guess that's why you're the
ahem, bank manager.
[laughing]
Gee, you're perky today.
Awesome. I've got something to show you.
The house of tomorrow!
Well, it was the house of tomorrow yesterday.
But, anyway, our bank acquired
this one-of-a-kind masterwork of Modern Americana today.
It's neat.
Neat? It's the Eighth Wonder of the planet!
It's all robots, Stanley.
Robot maids, robot laundry and the whole thing elevates
on quarter mile-high robot stilts
so you can change the view!
Look! Here comes old slipper fetcher now.
[barking]
Beep beep [clatters]
Cool, plays dead.
Place needs a little work.
Yeah, so why bring me here?
Brainstorm! We take some initiative.
We impress our boss.
We whip this place into shape.
Well, you whip while I, ahem, supervise.
But, Charlie, I'm in new accounts.
I-I work in the bank.
Uh-uh-uh, with that attitude, you'll never get to be.. Ahem!
Charlie, I-I don't know
anything about manual labor.
Well, it's not real manual labor.
Just a squirt of oil here, tighten a bolt there.
'Okay. Circuit box needs an overhaul.'
[Charlie] 'No! No! No!'
'No!'
Now, let's see. A squirt of oil here.
Tighten a bolt there and..
♪ Pop goes the weasel ♪♪
boom Aah!
Ha ha ha!
Oh, somebody stop me!
[Charlie] 'Stanley, hello?'
'I'm talking here.'
Uh-huh. You're thinking about Matilda, aren't you?
Uh, no.
Okay, okay, I'll help.
I mean, I'm on the bank's payroll.
If they wanna pay me to do manual labor
instead of new accounts, who am I to say?
Well, you are needed in new accounts
which is why you'll be doing this..
After hours.
Meet me back here at 5:00 sharp, okay?
You're a guy.
Oh, oh, oh! Almost forgot.
Get this to the post office on your way back.
Unh-unh-unh-unh.
Very importanto.
Insurance papers for the house.
An irreplaceable one-of-a-kind beaut like this
needs to be insured.
This wouldn't be happening if I still had the mask.
Oh, who am I kidding?
I did the right thing.
I'll be bank president one day
without the mask's help. Whaa!
Oh, no, no, no. Here. Here. Take this.
I meant just the wallet!
Whoa! Aah! Help-p-p!
[machine whirring]
Ooh! Aah!
Oh! Oh-ho! Ohh!
[buzzing]
I am Pretorius.
Congratulations.
Your test results reveal you're a normal, healthy young man..
Except for the psychological profile.
It seems you're repressed
and suffer from an over active superego.
'That means there's a wild man inside you'
'wanting to get out.'
But there is no indication
you possess any superhuman qualities.
It is as I hypothesized.
Clap clap Your power must lie in the mask.
W-What's that about a-a mask?
A mask? Uh, hmm. Mask.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Okay, i-if this is some joke, I don't have time for it.
Because I've got an envelope to mail, mister!
I assure you, Mr. Ipkiss this is no joke!
Whaa!
'Aah!'
Do you find a disembodied
talking head funny, Mr. Ipkiss?
I think not.
Uh... why?
I supervised the surgical removal of my head
to allow for maximum flexibility.
You see, Mr. Ipkiss I'm so busy
I have projects scheduled
until the turn of the century.
Mental note purchase new day planner.
Now that there are two of me.
I can divide my chores into head projects
and the body projects.
[clatters]
Do you take me seriously now Mr. Ipkiss?
Uh-huh.
Ah, wow!
What do you want with the mask?
I want to analyze it.
If I determine its basic molecular components
I can manufacture knock-offs.
With masks like yours
my henchmen can become an invincible
fighting force.
And you want me to give my mask to you.
I-I-I mean, if I had a mask.
I-I wouldn't give it to you.
Walter!
[whimpering]
No! You leave him out of this!
Oh, Walter's very effective
in that mindless killing machine sort of way.
Okay. Okay. I got rid of the mask.
I-I-I buried it in some concrete.
Very well.
Walter.
[whimpers]
[barking]
No! No!
[whimpering]
Sir, there's an intruder on the premises.
Walter, later.
Come with me.
Think it over while you await our return.
[gulp]
Milo, buddy, c-c-can you pick the lock?
[groans]
'Pick it!'
[whimpers]
Slurp slurp slurp.
Not lick.
Pick.
[buzzing]
- Peggy! - Hey, Stanley.
Milo!
Adventure dog.
[barks]
- H-h-how did you find me? - Followed you.
You weren't hard to miss.
You and your buddy, the son of Frankenstein.
You scream like a girl, you know?
I do not.. J-just never mind.
Just would you untie me, please?
Well, what kind of a story would that be?
Come on, Stanley, surely The Mask can get out of this.
Go on. I'm ready.
Peggy, there is no more mask.
'It's over. I buried it forever.'
Now would you please untie me before they kill us all?
[barking]
Gee, Stanley, you could've considered my career
before you went and did that.
[buzzing]
The intruder! Get her!
Oh!
Peggy!
Ow!
Let go of me!
[barking]
Hyah! Ohh!
Ohh!
I'm warning you.
I know, uh.. What do I know?
Oh! Mad monkey kung fu.
Oh, boy. If I fight, I'm doomed.
And nobody will save Peggy and Milo.
There's only one thing to do.
Clap clap clap clap.
Fetch him back!
[Pretorious] 'Ahh, Ms. Brandt.'
I'm a big fan of your writing.
'Tell me, did Sasquatch'
'really have a Siamese twin?'
'who was abducted by aliens?'
[panting] Got to get the mask.
[gasps]
[panting]
Great!
Aah!
Whoa!
Oh!
Landfill Park.
Ingenious!
[panting]
Hey!
Clang creak creak crash.
Oh, man.
Oh.
The mask!
No!
How could it be?
Mister, that there is quick-drying cement.
Crash
thud.
Oh, come on.
That hurt a little.
Oh, sure.
This cement is still wet.
[grunting]
But also quick-drying.
Peggy, Milo..
I'm sorry.
[Mask] Will Ipkiss get out of this jam?
Find out next time on..
"The Mask."
[theme music]
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