Original subtitles

I got it. I got it.

I'll tell you what. I will.

You did. I did. You would have gone, you know, how far?

How far?

I don't know. How far? Look up there.

How far do you think it would have gone? Go to the blue sky.

Yeah, I'll tie them together.

Yeah, you'd like to go to the moon, wouldn't you? Yeah.

Yeah. I'd be a Martian.

You'd be a Martian.

Here, you hold on to them, okay?

Thank you. All right. Thank you.

Yeah, come on. See how far it'll go.

Oh, jeez. Hold on.

You told me to let go.

Hey, look, look.

Let go, let go, look. There's Mama.

Wave to Mama.

That's all right.

I'll get you another one, okay?

I want two.

Two?

Tell Daddy to be careful.

Let him go.

What did you say? Let him go.

Okay. You want to do it? Yeah.

Let go. Let go.

You ready?

Yeah, let go.

You could have told me.

It never seemed the right time.

Do you really think there would be a right time? Yeah, someday.

Christ, Don, it's been almost a year.

Don't you trust me yet? Gary, did I ever ask any questions?

I know, I know.

Hell, meaning like we did.

I could understand.

There, you see, you said it yourself.

Under the circumstances, I didn't think it was particularly paranoid to exercise

a certain amount of caution.

A leather bar, for Christ's sake.

What are you supposed to do?

Just walk up to someone and say, Hi there, my name is Donald Wyman.

I live at 56 Hickory Lane in Westbrook, Connecticut, with my wife Janet and my

son David. Shall we go fuck?

But look, man, before we do, the phone number is 226-2320 in case you're into

blackmail. Do you know the area code?

That isn't what you said. It sure as hell was. I better warn you right off.

I'm Harvard myself.

Class of 92.

Talk about lousy openers. Never hear anyone else use it? Never.

There are very few bastards like you floating around.

I never lied to you.

Donald, tell me what you're thinking on the difference between sins of

commission and sins of omission. Gary, I didn't lie to you.

I call it the house in town.

It's not much, but I don't spend a hell of a lot of time here.

i just don't understand gary a long time ago i discovered there are a lot of

interesting people around why limit yourself to half of them when you can

have your cake and eat it too that's a lousy pun

Looks like it didn't do a lot.

80,000 miles.

I knew it would.

Will.

Do you think we'll ever see each other again?

I don't usually come back for seconds.

Ever?

Never.

That's cool.

It's probably just a phase I'm going through anyway.

You did ask for my phone number.

And you, you little bastard, you gave me the wrong number.

What did you expect me to do, say my name is Gary Littleton III?

By the way, I'm an honor student at Yale.

Here's my real phone number in case you're into blackmail.

Do you know the area code? I went looking for you. Why not? I'm a great

lay. You have to get your rocks off someplace.

I don't have to go to Yale to do that.

I'll bet. I spent two days on that goddamn campus.

Spoken like a true Harvard man.

What are you doing here?

Seeing how the other half lives.

Help yourself.

Hey!

It's a first time for everything.

Even seconds.

I told you as much as I felt I should.

All those half-ass explanations.

Big corporation lawyer.

Prestigious law firm. Government contracts. True. All true.

Okay.

I'll go along with it.

They'll tell you everything when he's good and ready.

This is it?

Off-campus housing?

So I can smoke dope and fuck freshmen.

I haven't been a freshman since shortly before the Civil War.

Just this once, I'll make an exception.

You want to come up?

Why not?

It's probably just a phase I'm going through.

Is it?

What? Just a phase?

What do you think?

I think I was convenient.

Gary.

Well, at least I thought until graduation.

Graduation. I was there, boss. Well, that's what I mean. My own goddamn

father couldn't even fit me into a schedule.

But you did.

Do you know how much that meant to me, you being there?

And don't forget about those cufflinks from Tiffany's.

Do you own a shirt with French cuffs?

Come on. What do you think for $190 a month?

I still don't see why you had to move to New York.

You're absolutely right, Dad.

You could have gone on to get your master's at half a dozen different

places.

You proud of me, Dad?

How the hell you ever graduated magna cum laude is beyond me.

Haven't you heard? This is the flake-out generation.

Hey, come on now.

Want to see the bedroom?

Where did you get it?

I sent away for it. 300 popsicle bags. You little bastard.

Look,

if this is some kind of a trick.

Oh, this gold key is the top lock.

And the silver one is for downstairs.

And the little one is in case you want to read my mail.

When did you find out? I didn't go through your billfold. I didn't say you

did. Do you know how many times I wanted to? When did you find out?

Last Thursday after I gave you the keys. Do you want them back?

You were getting dressed standing over there.

Oh, Christ, what did I drop?

I bet you it's a dime.

It sounded more like a quarter.

I bet you a quarter was a dime.

Hey,

you shouldn't leave that thing lying around.

I love you.

Do you love her, too?

Sure, I love her.

And my little boy, too.

Very much.

As much as I love you.

No more, no less.

One from column A, one from column B.

Don't you even miss it?

Of course.

Did she?

Jesus, no symbolism, please.

At least you got the message.

Well, answer me.

What?

Did she?

Oh, Don.

You've done it again.

What is it this time?

You know what I like about you?

You're so romantic.

Oh, yeah.

It kept falling off. I must be losing weight.

You're getting bald and fat and senile.

Oh, Trace, let's not start that.

If I don't start it, it doesn't get started.

I told you from the beginning.

I'll set the pace.

I don't feel like drinking alone today.

You want to come with?

Yeah.

Let's walk.

Okay.

What are you doing here at Columbia?

Pre-law seminar.

It was canceled.

Yeah.

Listen, I'm not really on the make today.

God, I've got to have somebody to hold on to.

Okay?

Okay.

Hold on.

Hold on, Donald. Hold on.

Stop being so damn melodramatic.

You used to think it was pretty goddamn charming. It worked when you were

playing helpless virgin.

Don, you make... You make me sound like some kind of nymphomaniac. It's been a

long day.

Don't yell at me.

And it seems to me you could be a little more patient with me. Patient?

For the first two years I knew you, I was Job of Cambridge.

And what was I?

I called you a lot of things.

I remember one in particular.

Here's to my favorite mother superior.

You don't give up, do you?

So, mother, you finally going to seduce me tonight?

Or did you just forget to pay your light bill?

Of course not.

For a terminal romantic, I'm incredibly practical.

The whole block is out.

And you just happen to have all these candles around.

You're not a romantic at all.

You're sentimental slob.

Notice anything new?

Oh, Jan.

Do you like it?

Is it for me?

What's the occasion?

It'll have to do.

Until we can afford the real thing.

Where'd you go?

To get the Times.

It's so skimpy.

City groves in dark.

Well, that is how the Times would describe it.

But it doesn't have to be dark.

You can do it during the day, too.

Jesus, it took a power blackout to finally bed you.

It wouldn't tonight.

Look, I know it's never going to be like that again.

But you keep hoping.

I keep hoping for something.

What do you want?

You. I'm here, aren't I?

Well, you're present.

I'm not going to have an argument with you over semantics.

Do you want to argue about something else?

Some hidden meaning I didn't catch.

Don.

Oh, forget it.

I'm sorry. I was in court all afternoon.

I couldn't get away.

I mean, the phones kept ringing every... It's okay.

I'm getting used to it.

That's what I like to hear.

Is he still alive?

I don't know. I just caught it.

You know, every time there's a national crisis,

Something important happens to us, too.

Maybe... Let's get married.

That's a good idea.

Okay.

Just let me finish reading this.

Where were you this afternoon?

If you really want to know, hire a detective.

Your secretary didn't know. She doesn't know everything.

Who does?

Will you listen to me?

The only competition you have is five years old and asleep across the hall.

That's your competition.

I know, and he has been ever since the day he was born.

My wife just had a baby.

You idiot.

Well, flowers wilt.

With balloons you have more control.

Just don't pop any today.

And don't you ever call me a terminal romantic again.

I knew it would happen today.

How?

I still think we should have named him Apollo.

You lunatic.

That's a lousy pun.

I'm sorry. It's just that I never get to see you anymore.

Jan, you can't play house forever.

I always thought you could.

Come on.

Come on.

Who's it for, you or him?

It's for Pauline.

Y'all be nice.

You know Pauline's the best housekeeper we've ever had.

Ash, read the mail.

I don't have any secrets.

Do you?

I can't answer that.

It's a secret.

Oh, shut your head.

Okay, come on.

It's time to go in.

Besides, Donald, I have something to show you.

Where did you get it?

I sent away for it.

If you tell me that it cost you 300 popsicle bags... How did you know I was

going to say that?

I did.

Do you want a divorce?

What would I do with it?

I don't know, that's the hell of it. Jan, I'm sorry that I haven't paid more

attention to you lately, but I don't think we're quite ready for a divorce.

I do, sometimes I do.

Now that's ridiculous.

I'm beginning to sound like a fishwife, screaming at you one minute, crying the

next, suspicious of every little thing you do, like the other afternoon.

Come on, dammit! I'll miss my plane!

Left this on the kitchen table.

Boy,

what would you do without me?

You wouldn't get very far without that.

Where did you get this?

What?

Oh, that.

I bought it as a gag.

I don't get it.

Well, you see, the guys at the club are always giving me such a rough time about

old school ties.

I thought I'd wear it sometime.

Where'd you get it?

I sent away for it.

300 popsicle bags.

Listen, honey, when you have the car checked, be sure and have them pack the

front wheels, okay?

On the way home from the airport, I had a flat tire, and the trunk key wasn't on

your key chain.

Maybe you dropped it out in the driveway.

Did you look?

How could I in the middle of the Merritt Parkway?

Look, I'm sorry you had a problem, but I don't keep a mistress in the trunk of my

car.

I know.

I know you like me better when I'm all feminine and blubbery and helpless.

Better close the door.

Why? David's asleep.

I'll bet Pauline isn't.

The Weinman residence.

Hi, Pauline. I knew it would be you. It's Hank.

Yes? Aunt Louise.

Hi, Pauline.

Pauline, it's wonderful talking to you. Always a pleasure, but we called to talk

to Donald.

And Janet.

The family has retired for the evening.

That's utterly ridiculous.

Look, Pauline, wake them up. If they fire you, you can come work for us.

Those bottomites next door.

Oh, Donald.

Hold on a minute. I just set fire to Louise.

Damn.

Looks like she's going to live.

Hey, Donald, what are you doing?

Hey,

look, I'm calling everybody we know. We're having a come-as-you-are party.

Yeah, go stand in the window so we know what to expect.

Okay.

Yeah, okay, look.

Call Jan in the morning and give her the details, all right?

I'll take the phone back now if you're finished.

I'd like to have it in the hallway in case Davy gets sick during the night and

I have to call a doctor.

No court in the land can convict me.

Oh, come on now, honey.

Hello. I think we should talk.

What time is it?

Almost ten.

You at the office already?

When can I see you?

Not tonight.

Neither can I. We're going over to some friends.

You? I'm working.

You got a job?

One night Ronnie got it for me.

Fifty bucks bartending.

Which bar?

Not that it makes any difference, but it's not a bar.

It's a private party, someplace out on Long Island or Connecticut.

Where will it be, sir?

Couch on the rocks.

And your wife?

And old-fashioned.

Gary, darling. You see, I remembered.

And you, sir.

Jan, let's go talk man talk.

Jan, will you look at that man?

Isn't he divine?

Agency, I send such gorgeous men.

Will you look at those thighs?

Absolutely divine.

The last party we threw, Christmas Eve, both bartenders stayed all night.

Hank didn't have anybody except Arnold's secretary.

God, I hope the blonde stays.

I hope to God you know how to make a grasshopper.

Sure do.

Oh, uh, just a minute. I have to get some more ice.

I won't move.

Amy's out to the teacher. Don't you just love her?

Makes you want to go to PTA meetings.

Hey, you got to meet Peaches. He brought some grass.

Don?

Why don't you girls go right ahead?

I want to say hello to Hank.

Oh, he says, Esmeralda, arch your back and get his balls off that cold,

annoying floor.

Wait a minute. I got another one.

These two fairies, see?

You okay?

I think I can handle it.

If I'd known, we wouldn't have come.

We, you and her, or we, you and me?

I'll call you tomorrow morning.

If I'm home, I'll answer the phone.

I've missed you.

Excuse me, I'll be right with you.

I'll be on the bar.

If you don't laugh, you'll cry.

I'll take Jen.

Not necessary.

She knows.

She doesn't know what, but she knows.

Did you see the way she looked at me?

Ooh, I'll kill her.

Hey, is my wife trying to lay you?

Because if she is, you have my permission.

Nay, my blessing.

So, you want to?

No, thank you, sir.

Your wife is a very lovely woman, but you see, I'm as queer as a $3 bill.

Hey, that was a good one. You're a quick little bastard, aren't you? Hey,

everybody, you hear what?

Hank, leave the kid alone.

Hi.

It's gonna cost you.

Come on, everybody.

This way to the reckoning if you're rekt.

I'm forgettable. I rather like it.

Stay for the orgy. Clear.

But honey, I've never been to an orgy before.

Maybe next week.

If we don't go to the orgy, what will we do?

We could go home.

Will you ravish me?

Don't I always?

Not for weeks, Donald.

And somebody's going to fuck me tonight, and I don't care if it's you or not.

Can't take her anyplace.

Yes, please, in Westport.

A listing for Donald Wyman.

A Wyman residence?

No, he is out for the evening.

Oh, I know, at Hank and Louise's. Can you give me the number there?

I have not been authorized to give out that number.

Well, will it be possible for you to call him, then ask him to call me?

Is it an emergency?

And to whom am I speaking?

Gary what?

And your number?

Well, you may not have it with him.

If you want me to call him, I'll have to have your number.

I will do my best.

Never again.

I can't stand sharing you.

It was your idea.

Shh.

Pauline?

Oh, a message for you.

Oh?

Wonder what time he called.

I'll check it out tomorrow.

Come on, I'm exhausted.

Besides, I want to go out to the boat early tomorrow anyway.

Shall I take David with me?

No.

Pauline's taking him to the flea market or someplace after church.

Miss Pauline. Good afternoon, Irwin. Oh, I've begun to worry that now you're here

and you're looking so... Oh.

What is it? Well, you're not looking at all well.

Is anything the matter?

I didn't sleep a wink last night. I can see.

I can see. Some sort of crisis.

Far be it for me to bite the hand that feeds me.

What is it, David?

Where's my present?

It's right over there.

You like it, David?

It's the best thing in the world.

I have a splendid idea, David.

Let's play hide and seek.

Yeah!

Now you were saying?

Not in front of the child, Irwin.

Come along.

I'm counting.

5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30.

Now you were saying?

Well, you know I don't like meddling in things that don't concern me.

Yes.

Strange things are going on in that house.

Yes. Phone calls.

At all hours of the day and night.

A man?

Of course.

For an accent?

No, just intense.

Irwin, come and find me!

Irwin, come and find me!

35-40, 45-50.

Ominous. That's what it is.

Ominous. And this morning, just after Mr. Wyman went out down to the boat

club, another phone call.

The same man.

I knew it.

And before I realized what I'd done, I told him. The mysterious stranger.

Yes.

I told him where he could find him.

Mr. Wyman.

Blackmail.

It could be blackmail.

Nonsense. What possible reason? My dear Miss Pauline.

Now, I don't know how to put this delicately, but...

Perhaps the mysterious stranger has a sister.

Aaron, come and find me!

Perhaps we should go down to the marina and warn Mr. Wyman.

I wouldn't want him to think we were prying. Prying?

My dear Miss Pauline, you know that if any...

You'd never forgive yourself.

Davey, we're going for a ride.

I guess I'd rather have half of you than 100% of

damn near anyone else I can think of.

This is folly, Erwin.

Folly.

Policemen solve crimes, not antique dealers.

And slow down.

Coffee?

I brought my own tin cup.

And a spare.

Then we'll take her out, and I'll show you how the other half lives.

Sure. And tell you all about it.

This is utterly ridiculous.

There's obviously no one here.

It appears that way.

Nothing ever happens here anyway.

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe David doesn't like balloons? I like

balloons.

Not as well as his old man, right?

I'm sorry about the other night.

That's all right. We don't have to talk about it. No, I'd really like to.

It's not an easy thing to talk about, especially to you.

Forget it, will you?

I have my secrets, too.

You know enough about me to give Louise ammunition for three divorces.

But hell, she has all the ammunition she needs.

She'll never use it.

Probably not.

And even though I like to dine out occasionally, I'll never leave her.

This dining out, first time for you?

First important time.

The same old story.

Everybody wants it both ways.

Literally.

Both ways, huh?

Who is it?

The boy at the party.

That's really pushing it.

I've never known anybody who's gotten away with that.

Well, it's a challenge.

You gotta be out of your mind.

I don't think it's gonna work.

I'd love to.

Oh, the methonine, honey.

We were lucky to get tickets at all.

This is my first matinee in ages.

Mine too.

Have you worked in Don's office long?

About a year.

Where did you go to school?

Yale.

Yale?

There was a time Don wouldn't be caught dead with a Yale man.

My father went to Harvard.

Oh, yes, Don did say he was a client.

So you must come out to the house for dinner soon and tell me your whole life

story.

That is, if Don will let you in.

Well, maybe just this once I'll make an exception.

Oh, Don, you're getting so mellow in your old age.

Everyone hates public display of affection.

Him? Are you kidding?

I can't handle it. Of course you can.

I wish I could walk out of here once and for all. Never see either one of you

again. You don't really mean that.

But I always come back, don't I?

Thank God.

How many times can I storm out of here and crawl back before you start losing

whatever respect you have for me?

That's not going to happen.

Done. I couldn't say more than ten words to her before I made a slip.

You'll get better at it.

I don't think I want to.

Not even for us?

If it were for us.

But it isn't.

It's for you.

You calling for a showdown?

You're just bouncing through life on a goddamn pogo stick.

You gotta land somewhere.

One side of the fence or the other.

But you gotta land.

You're telling me to make a choice.

Don't you think you should?

I'll call you tomorrow.

No! Call me tonight.

If I can.

If you don't, I'll call you.

What's wrong? Where did he go?

I'll tell you after the show.

He certainly didn't look sick to me.

All I know is what he said.

Well, that... The boy certainly has a flair for melodramatics.

Look who's talking.

I'll be fascinated to learn the nature of his illness.

Pauline, were there any phone calls?

None. Well, did he say a call?

Maybe I should give him a ring.

How are you feeling?

Oh, I didn't expect to hear from you.

Yeah. Well, then we'll have to talk about it further.

I'm not sure.

If you can't get away, maybe I'll come over to your place, now that I know

where to find you.

I'm really worried about him. Your concern is refreshing.

Pauline, we'll have dinner now.

I will not argue in front of that woman.

Well, why don't you drive into town and take his temperature?

Oh, for Christ's sake. Of course I'm concerned about the boy. Your paternal

instinct. Yes, if you will. He's an awfully big boy to set upon your knee.

That was his jacket, wasn't it?

You always wore a sucker for blondes.

We rarely receive visitors on Sunday mornings.

I think they'll want to see me. What is the nature of your business?

Thank you, Pauline.

I'll see the young man.

We wouldn't want you to be late for church.

You're up early.

I came to see your wife.

Gary, it's all going to work out.

For whom?

Let's go someplace where we can talk.

You want a drink?

I'd rather talk.

Can't we do both?

Donald, I've never seen you running scared.

Have you?

Now, Gary, there's nothing we can't work out if you're just willing to keep...

Willing to?

I didn't come all the way up here to say goodbye.

What are you trying to do?

I'm trying to do something. What, walk into my home and ruin everything?

Everything.

Would it wreck everything? Or only half of it?

Okay. The matinee was a mistake.

Why did you do it?

I just wanted... To see if you could?

It wasn't a game.

What was it?

A coup?

Do you really think that I'd do something like... Ronnie thinks so.

You disgust me. I don't have a wife to go home to. What did you tell him?

I have to talk to someone. I thought we agreed that what goes on between you and

me... He doesn't even know your name. Yeah, I know.

No introductions. Nothing in writing. You call me.

It's as if we, you and me, never existed.

And maybe we didn't.

Now, Gary, every relationship changes.

Bullshit!

I always thought you were the stronger.

But you're not.

You don't even know what you want.

I want you.

Then tell her.

Gary, don't back me into a corner. Tell her. No. Then I will. No.

Let me.

Operator, give me the... No introductions, nothing

in writing. You call me.

It's as if we, you and me never existed.

On the other hand, it may be nothing at all.

Nonsense.

We will probably save his life.

What are you doing here?

Well, uh... Now, you see, Miss Pauline, everything is perfectly all right.

What did you think was wrong?

That young man who came to the house.

I thought he was going to hurt you.

Gary? My friend Gary?

No, he just wanted to borrow some money.

He barely made the $11.50 back to the city.

Well, you know how these women are.

I'll just drive her on home.

I'll ride home with Mr. Weiner.

Pauline, I wasn't planning to go right... Never mind. Get in. I'll run

you home.

What was that boy doing here today?

Don't start that.

What's going on between the two of you?

Why ask?

You've already come to your own conclusions.

Donald, tell me I'm wrong.

I shouldn't have to.

Then get out!

That's the first intelligent thing you've said all day!

Go to him!

Of course, Mrs. Wyman, it's none of my business, but...

What are you doing?

Shaving with a razor.

You don't even have a razor.

I don't want to use it because I don't want to cut myself.

Here I am trying to pack and get us off on this trip and you're shaving.

There's no razor. Come on, do it.

We're going away.

We're going to California on a big airplane.

Don't you want to ride the airplane?

Yeah.

It'll be a lot of fun.

Is Daddy coming?

No, no.

Daddy's not coming.

Why?

He doesn't like California.

He wants us to go out there, and we're going to live with Aunt Manny for a

while.

That'll be fun, huh, with Aunt Manny?

We'll go for walks on the beach, and we'll play baseball.

Oh, for heaven's sakes. I want you to pick out the toys that you want to take

on the trip, okay?

Oh, okay.

You want your baseball bats and your hats and, you know, just your most

favorite things, though, because I don't have a lot of room.

All right?

When are they going to come back?

It's not Donald. It's Lyman.

Janet?

I'm home.

Davey? Daddy's...