Original subtitles

(mysterious music)

(suspenseful music)

(alarm blaring)

(liquid bubbling)

(machines beeping)

(water bubbling)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music continues)

[Jasmine] Maya?

Maya? Maya?

(seagulls squawking)

Maya?

Maya?

Maya?

Fuck's sake.

(upbeat music)

Cool. Looks like we have the whole beach to ourselves.

Which side of Nature Cove is the clothing optional part?

(laughs) Oh, naked bodies!

I'm very shy and I-

Vonnie, don't even start.

Wow.

So this doubles as a lifeguard tower

and air traffic control center?

It used to be an old lookout post.

They should put a little skybar up there, right?

Yes! - Party!

(upbeat music)

How about out of the main path?

(waves crashing)

Away from where people walk.

Yeah. Let's go closer to the water.

Yeah.

(upbeat music)

(seagulls squawking)

(dolphins clicking)

Oh!

Okay, here we go.

I just love to walk along the shore and think.

It's like the ocean is feeding my soul.

Do you know what I mean?

We are one with nature.

I apologize in advance,

but I did tell you about my extra credit webinar.

It's the only way I could come today.

As webinar host.

And there she goes.

Showing off her speed reading.

I wish I had a photographic memory.

I can read sure as well.

Vonnie, you have a pornographic memory.

(Vonnie laughs)

(Vonnie speaks in foreign language)

Well, this is the perfect location for a webinar.

Reception's pretty good.

It'll only be an hour and a half.

(seagulls squawking)

[Summer] I know Vonnie can be a real pain sometimes,

but don't let her get to you.

She's a good friend. She means well.

What's the technique you're doing? (laughs)

It's perfect.

Yes!

Ooh, how about here?

Ah, I think I'm gonna go right here.

This looks good to me. - Okay.

You know, they say that there's like a-

Stop, Dalia.

I do not want to hear about the fake news.

What? - It's not real.

Okay, fine.

Let's just try to have a nice day at the beach.

Okay.

It's so nice today. - It is.

(hums) It's so exciting. - Ah, it feels so good.

Oh yeah. This is great.

Super nice

Oh man.

Sunscreen? - Yes.

Awesome.

(upbeat music)

(seagulls squawking)

Okay.

When the webinar's over,

I'll take you along down the rocks.

There's amazing views down there, okay?

Absolutely.

Thanks, Summer.

(sighs) Okay.

(light music)

[Host] Let's go right ahead and begin.

Hi everybody.

I'm joining you from a lovely beach this morning,

but before we get started, think,

what's your idea of a true friend?

Right.

(smooth ambient music)

This works.

Did you bring sunscreen? - I didn't.

We're gonna get our vitamin D

for the year out here in three minutes.

Oh yeah. I think you're right.

Did you bring some champagne?

No, but I brought your favorite.

You did?

Let's see.

Fantastic.

Whoa, that's so cool. - Oh my God! (laughs)

Awesome. - Yeah.

That looks so fun out there.

Oh, I would love to do that.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, what?

(birds chirping)

Oh, that's crazy.

Wow. Do you see the boat over here?

Yeah, yeah. It's nice.

Oh, that'd be really fun to go sailing sometime.

Wow, hey.

(suspenseful music)

What the fuck?

You got me on there! - Yeah, I got you good!

(both laughing)

But hey, I met this hot guy at a club yesterday.

Ooh, tell me about it.

Well, he had muscles that went on for miles.

[Vonnie] Ooh, tell me about it.

Well, he had muscles for miles.

Green, dark eyes.

[Vonnie] Ooh, muscles I'm not really into that.

What?

My girl, my friend is into muscles!

No, I like skinny guys.

No, too much meat for me.

There is no such thing as too much meat.

(laughs) So you're gonna see him again?

He at least deserves a call back.

(both laughing)

Where's the girls?

Beth is doing a webinar for a few hours.

Can you believe it?

What? She's doing a webinar at the beach?

Yeah. - Beth is on 24/7.

Yeah, I'll get some here. - Yep.

So when you get down road, this peach ass can't get-

(hand slaps)

Ooh, watch it, girl!

(both laughing)

That tickles!

(upbeat music)

Whoa. Now this, this is what I'm talking about.

Why don't we build our house

up there on those cliffs?

Up there?

After my song goes platinum, then we'll talk about it.

(waves crashing)

(upbeat music continues)

(suspenseful music)

Now to put on these masks,

all you have to do is, um...

All you have to do is put it over your mouth

with one ear behind the other.

Happy face on and off.

And you're still the same person in the mask.

And it gives you magical powers

every time you put it on and off.

That's one really great way to think about it.

And it just makes you happier overall.

[Viewer] I think it's more the attitude you put out there,

whether you are wearing a mask or not.

[Beth] That makes a lot of sense.

Hey Vonnie, Vonnie? - What?

Beth's still on a webinar. - What?

Come on, let's crash her webinar.

What? - Yeah. Come on!

(both laughing)

That's one really great way to think about it and-

[Host] Very good idea.

It just makes you happier overall.

(funky music)

Huh? - What the hell?

Now.

(viewers laughing)

Hey girl, get it! (both laughing)

Right. - Those girls are naked.

(both laughing)

Wow, I want what they're drinking.

Oh, me too! (laughs)

Yeah.

It's not that hard.

Uh, could you excuse me please?

What the hell?

(Vonnie laughing)

(both laughing)

What in the fuck was that?

We thought you wanted us to be a part of your webinar!

Alta, is that my towel?

Your ass is right where I put my face!

This project makes the difference of my whole grade.

They're waiting on me!

Well, then you should do

your damn webinar from right here.

(Beth sighs)

Fine.

But you have to promise me that you'll stay out of this.

[Alta] No prob.

(computer beeps)

I am sorry about that.

Now back to what we were saying.

[Alta] Somebody's gonna steal your bag.

You left your bag?

(Beth groans)

[Beth] Oh, fine.

(playful music)

[Viewer] Oh my God!

[Host] Is that somebody's hairy butt?

Oh! - Beth, shut the camera off!

Oh my god! - No, no, no. Come on.

[Viewer] Ugh, gross! I'm signing off.

[Student] Ms. Tunsen, this has gone too far!

Gross! - Ew.

(Alta and Vonnie laughing)

Hi everybody!

Ugh! - And my pal Larry Lardass!

(both laughing)

Ugh! - Shut it off!

Where is Beth? Who are you two?

[Student] Mrs. Tunsen, do something. You're the teacher.

(both laughing)

[Both] Hi!

[Host] Ms. Tunsen you had better pull the plug on this.

I'm sorry, Ms. Tunsen.

My friends, they're just-

[Ms. Tunsen] Beth, you and I

will discuss this whole fiasco next week

and your grade.

Sign off, please. - Bye! Yay!

See you soon! - Have a good day!

(playful music)

I am going to kill the both of you, dead!

It's a nice quiet day at the beach, huh?

(sunscreen squirts)

(upbeat music)

(sunscreen squirts)

No! What are you doing?

You're hurting her!

No, no, no, no.

I wanna go home.

Okay. - I'll take a bus.

But you promise to take

that beautiful, peaceful walk with me first.

Fine, but they stay here.

Sure. - Sure.

But first? - Okay, look.

It's not like I'm trying to be a prude.

It's just that I'm afraid I'm gonna see somebody I know.

Ooh, what does that sound like, psych major?

Paranoia.

Happy?

Once those are off, I will be.

(upbeat music)

See, there you go. That's not so bad.

We need to avoid a terrible thing, tan lines.

Beth? Beth?

Beth, it is you!

Hey, I'm Mr. Wilkey.

Remember? Neighbor, friend of your dad's.

I've never seen you in my entire life.

My ex-wife was Beth's therapist for years.

Oh, shut up. Shut up.

Helped her get over a lot of self-anger.

You know, it was a lot.

I can tell you stories, like-

Uh, Mr. Wilkey, shut up!

Shut up, shut up.

Oh. - Stop!

Listen, you have a good time with your friends, okay?

Okay? - Oh, you mean former friends.

Yeah. Listen, piece of advice.

I know it's nice to be safe these days,

but those things work better if you put 'em over your face.

Well, bye now.

Hey, I'll tell your dad I bumped into you.

That's not necessary, really.

Okay.

Fuck!

(playful music)

Ah! Fucking mosquitoes.

(laughs) I think you got him.

I hate to get bitten.

Well, you do know they like the sweetest blood

from the sweetest ladies.

Your turn, Jordan. I missed one.

(Jordan laughs)

(mosquitoes buzzing)

(upbeat music)

It's so nice and warm. - It is.

Ah! Ah!

It bit me! Something bit me!

Ah! Ah!

Are you okay? - No!

I think it was a mosquito. Ah!

Ow! Ah!

Ah! God!

Is that who I think? Jordan?

Mister, are you all right?

Ah!

Ah!

You okay, mate? - Ah!

Ah!

Hmm, did something bite him?

(Jordan groaning)

(playful music)

No, I feel fine.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Are people always this weird down here?

Everybody just step back. - I think it was a mosquito.

[Beachgoer] He's gonna be all right.

Everyone just step back.

No, not now, Courtney.

I can't go with you.

I'm going through a space time portal.

I told you! - Stop.

No, I told you. - No!

Yeah, you didn't want to hear about it.

Come on. You gotta take me with you.

Just, you got space on that ship.

I know you do.

It was probably like a-

There's a reason that people say certain things.

You guys don't abuse your planet like we do down here.

Come on, take me with you.

Just let me bring my girlfriend.

Can she come too? Let me go get her.

She's just, come on, you gotta take me with you.

There's a reason that people talk about it

'cause you think they're not real.

You never want to hear my stories about it.

Look, I'm telling you, there's some weird stuff.

You got space on that ship.

I know you do.

Your planet is so much better than ours.

(playful music)

Hey!

What are you doing?

I need to let you know that I'm a model

and my ass is insured for $10,000.

It doesn't look like there's any damage.

Well, if I see a bruise tomorrow morning, you are liable.

You know with accidents,

insurance carriers are gonna wanna see some pictures.

What are you doing?

Put that away! What are you doing?

My ass is uninsured.

Hey, do you know anything about all this?

Nah, legend has it these are just like, mutant creatures

and like, Fukushima or something.

You know, like the meltdown

with radiation, trash, oil everywhere.

What is it exactly?

I mean, I seen it once and it got saliva on me.

What are you doing

exchanging bodily fluids with a mutant for?

He just kinda like,

brushed past me and like, ate my apple.

Let's just say that it gives you some really funky dreams,

but I don't remember a whole lot.

Nobody knows what the fuck is going on.

Hey, just don't piss it off.

Don't piss it off? - What do you mean?

Hey, what do you mean?

(playful music)

(upbeat music)

Is the water warm? - It is perfect.

Really? Let's jump in! - This is fun.

I'm so glad you got this.

Yeah. - It's really sticky though.

At least it's fun to like, try it.

Yours is lovely. I'll have to take that home.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, what's up?

What's your name?

Oh, hey girls. - Hey.

I'm Cole. - Hi, nice to meet you.

I'm Fawn. - Dalia.

What are you doing?

Just finishing up some repairs here.

Some plumbing issues.

Okay, well do you get a break?

You wanna come get some body paint?

[Fawn] Yeah.

Oh man, you girls are beautiful.

It's really fun! - I wish I could.

You can do like a little hammer on you or something.

Oh no, my boss would kill me.

Hey, don't worry.

She's down here every time talking to herself.

Ignore her. She's no harm.

She looks like she's casting spells or something.

I hear you, but there's never any proof of wrongdoing.

So I'm down here a lot.

But that guy just got bit.

You got space on that ship, I know you do.

I mean, it happens all the time.

Then they just seem to kind of forget about it.

Hey.

I appreciate it.

Sure. It's a trade off.

You know, you have the most beautiful beach in the world,

but it's got demons. (chuckles)

Take me with you!

Take me with you!

Just get us off this planet!

Let's just do this. - Come on, let it go.

Come on! (laughs)

Let's try this. - Come on.

Just let it go.

(light piano music)

Pretty freaky, huh?

What?

That man was just bitten by something.

Hmm.

I can bring my girlfriend. We can both go.

It'd be great.

Just get us off this planet.

No, he looks okay.

I don't know.

I just find it strange that you're reading a book

while that man was being bitten.

Ah. - That's all.

I'm merely an observer of life.

Or a behind the scenes participant.

You know, there's an ebook.

You might wanna think about it.

And we're not done talking.

(upbeat music)

Okay, my turn. - All right.

Get it when you need it.

Age is beauty, huh?

(mysterious music)

Wrinkles. Wrinkles.

You are crazy.

You know, I saw this amazing horror movie

about this girl who's like five years old

and for every second they stay on the beach,

they age by a few years.

Ooh, it would cool if you could do that 'til you are 21.

Buy some booze and then slow the clock down.

Well, that's cheating.

What happened?

Well, by the time she was 25,

she was popping out of her top.

Okay, so let's wait a couple of hours and see.

Cross your fingers.

(both laughing)

(playful music)

What the fuck?

My boyfriend got bit by a poison that's gone to his brain

and you're sitting here grinning?

Those are definitely bite marks, all right.

He's probably going into like some kind of denial.

Are you a doctor or something?

No, I just dabbled a little bit in psychology 101.

Sometimes if you just give them a bit of food,

it goes a long way.

Give a monster a nice belly rub.

Show 'em you're willing to negotiate?

Yeah, buddy.

I'm done.

(mysterious music)

It's time for us mutants arise!

You must help eat up their soul!

(voices whispering)

(Justine speaking in foreign language)

(dramatic music)

So be it!

Oh!

What the fuck?

(funky music)

I saw that!

Did something rub you under your towel?

Not a rub. It was pushing straight up.

And I'm sorry, but I'm not into anal.

That's just one of my hard limits.

Even with a mutant.

I just don't understand. Why would this-

I don't know, it sounds yucky.

I don't like it.

No, hun.

I mean, if it were really a mutant creature,

wouldn't it like not just tease you?

Wouldn't it rip us to shreds

and then eat us all in one bite?

Maybe. I don't know.

(mysterious music)

(playful music)

These are so good.

But I couldn't eat another bite.

Maybe the seagulls will want some?

No, don't you dare waste that!

But we do need to get this off our hands.

Let's go to the water. - Okay.

(playful music)

Give it to the seagulls?

(Beth cawing)

Okay, I don't think so.

What if they gobbled 'em up

or explode or something?

(playful music)

Okay babe, we are sorry.

Maybe this will cheer us up.

How about some marshmallow treats?

Ooh, thanks.

Where'd you get these?

Those nice people down there.

These are the bomb!

I know the guy said the you know what?

From the Fukushima thing.

The Fukushima meltdown about 15 years ago, 2011.

It was all over the news.

Look, top stories 2011.

Ashton caught cheating.

Okay, but just a minute.

Top story.

Uh, Justin hits the beach with Selena?

No, wait. Here.

Nuclear disaster. - Hmm, Arnold's lovechild?

Do you wanna take over the search?

If it wasn't devastating enough to make the headlines,

was the meltdown at least strong enough

to create a mass mutation

of creatures at the bottom of the ocean?

[Vonnie] Look up oil spills.

Just the amount of garbage, radiation,

and oil poured into the ocean.

My answer is D, all of the above.

Where? There's a fucking mutant in the sand.

Do we need to come up with a birth certificate?

Just kill the motherfucker and shorten his backstory.

We know it's a monster.

We know it likes anal.

And we've got to destroy it.

(waves crashing)

Looks like that tree got some problems too, right?

All twisty and fucked up.

[Summer] Vonnie, that's nature.

It's doing its own thing. It can adapt.

Grows and curves any way it wants and it's beautiful.

Oh, I dated a guy.

And his dick grew exactly like that

and I'm not talking when he was excited.

Just hanging there.

It did a little like, twist.

Ew, how did we go from discussing the spirit of a tree

to your boyfriend's dick?

[Alta] You could teach to go straight, you know?

Oh really? - Oh yeah.

Okay. (laughs)

(playful music)

[Alta] Mutants on the beach.

Sounds like something out of a horror movie.

I'd be an actress in that. - And show your boobies?

That's exploitation.

[Vonnie] Nah, we're talking topless AI girls.

They make the nipples so realistic.

[Alta] We're gonna kick their asses anyways.

[Summer] I don't know.

Sounds like something out of a space movie.

[Beth] What do they taste like?

[Alta] Okay, now you wanna exploit AIs?

[Summer] Better yet, we'll be producers.

So we're in control.

[Alta] Perfect movie location down here.

No, the trick is making something

where reviewers aren't going to ban us,

a story that they'll love.

[Vonnie] A band of mutants humiliated by sharks.

Now you're making sense.

[Vonnie] I'm done for writing the screenplay.

That'd be cool. - Me too.

Definitely. We could pull in mega bucks.

(Jasmine sighs)

Did you lose something?

Yeah.

My best friend.

She was down here

and now she's been missing for a week.

(somber piano music)

I don't know if these were hers.

Could be anyone's for all we know.

Oh yes! (laughs)

If I don't make that one, oh!

It was close.

(Beth speaks in foreign language)

Fuck.

(suspenseful music)

[Fawn] Nope. I'll stick to my day job.

[Both] Yay!

You're good at those. - Oh my gosh.

Oh.

(Dalia laughs)

Command you to lower your vibration

so the creature will sense you.

(Beth shouts)

My sacred book!

Do you realize how dangerous it is?

Did you break it? Oh, it's fine.

So it was a giant mutant in the sand?

(mysterious music)

But I need to understand!

Me and my husband, Benjamin,

we cuddled right here on this very spot

for our wedding anniversary only two years ago.

Lunched on graham crackers.

We toasted marshmallows with chardonnay.

And we had little steamy sex on the rock right there.

Then this mutant leapt out of that cave

from over there and took him.

And killed him?

They toyed with us.

Gave us the creeps, but this one was different.

[Beth] It was him.

I told you enough already.

I can help you cast the spells.

We can do this together.

Try to understand.

I'm trying to lure the creatures out

because I want to destroy them, same as you.

But I must do this by myself.

This afternoon over by the caves at four o'clock

we will do this ceremony

and the creatures will dissolve

into some little limp noodles.

You'll see.

We're willing to help.

One misspoken word

and the whole thing can go terribly wrong.

You must be worthwhile and perfect.

(mysterious music)

(suspenseful music)

(Justine speaking in foreign language)

Oh. (laughs)

Hey buddy. Yeah, you wanna make a trade?

You want a little banana?

Oh yeah, what do you think?

Oh, you're cute. Come here.

Come here, baby. Oh, you're so cute.

You're so cute when you die! (laughs)

I appreciate you, young lady.

I appreciate all of you.

Yes, take their souls.

(creature roaring)

(mysterious music)

(Justine laughing)

You girls around?

(metal clanging)

Yum!

[Man] Hey, you know sex on the beach is more than a drink.

Hey, hey, hey. You can't run around like this.

You can't have weapons.

There's no supervision, okay?

When they come, it's not gonna look good.

She's got a weapon? A weapon?

Everything is A okay, sir.

Huh?

Just... - Seriously?

(Justine laughing)

(suspenseful music)

Shit! Where the hell did my tools go?

(suspenseful music)

(sand rumbling)

(creature roars)

(suspenseful music)

(hammer thumping)

You ever hear the old proverb,

you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

Sometimes you got to swallow the vinegar, bitch.

Listen girl, I get it.

You friend doesn't like it, but try to understand.

I'm channeling these weird ass old spells

in order to encourage them to relax,

throw 'em off guard, like.

Then at the secret ceremony in the caves,

I switch it up with the secret spell

that will completely destroy them!

See? No muss, no fuss.

No drama.

Let me prove myself.

I dunno. - Sounds kind of sketchy.

Experience the power of these ancient rituals,

but physical violence is up to you.

(Justine laughs)

Find anything?

No.

Have a nice chat with Justine?

Gonna buy her lunch, huh?

Look, Beth-

No, I'm telling you, she is evil.

Do not let your guard down for a minute around her.

What's the big fucking deal, Beth?

She wants to destroy them too.

I kinda see where she's coming from.

No, I'm telling you she's evil.

Stop, no.

Everything started with that Mr. Wacky guy.

What the hell was that all about?

If we're really your friends, you won't keep secrets.

I let my friends down.

10 years ago? You were a hero.

You saved your best friends' lives.

Hundreds of blogs raved about you.

The tree house slipping off the branches was not your fault.

There, there were these possums or rats in the bushes.

And I, I tried to reach for my friends, but I ran away.

To get help.

You were praised in every article.

(sighs) My friends tried to reach for me, but I ran away.

No one knows that.

I do. I hid under my bed.

My dad just happened to be home early and pulled me out

and forced me to go back to that tree.

Janie still has a scar from the fence.

And Anne had to get rabies shots in the stomach.

All that praise when I knew I had ran away.

(light piano music)

(Justine speaks in foreign language)

Oh, my ladies.

Ooh, beautiful, beautiful souls you have there.

Take mighty fine care of them now

or they belong to Justine.

(Justine speaks in foreign language)

(Justine laughs)

(mysterious music)

Oh cool! 15 foot tall Mai Tai.

(ice cubes rattling)

(Jasmine slurping)

[Maya] Jasmine?

(electricity buzzing)

Maya? I've been looking everywhere for you.

(electricity buzzing)

Check out what I scored for us.

(upbeat music)

Holy shit. Mind if I join you?

Yeah, come on. You can finally relax.

Absolutely.

I found my friend. - Awesome.

Yeah, she's right over...

Maya?

Maya?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Well, at least she's okay.

(upbeat music)

Mm, this is the bomb.

Could you imagine if they charged?

Have you ever paid $50,000 for a Mai Tai?

Yeah, just go to any casino in the Vegas strip.

But you do know this is a hallucination?

Well, it's real to me.

It feels like it, but look at everyone.

How the fuck can they sleep through happy hour?

You're over there too.

(acoustic guitar music)

(Jasmine singing)

And I'm down there.

I think those mutant things have a foot fetish.

(twinkling music)

You're hallucinating too?

You didn't get bit, did you?

(twinkling music)

Oh, holy shit!

Looks like some mutant tried to go down on you.

(twinkling music)

No, it's like they want our essence.

(both chattering)

I don't think we should do it.

Come on! Come on!

(mysterious music)

Come on, huh?

Oh my gosh. What does this say?

I don't even know. Look at that.

What here? - Yeah.

What kinda language is this?

Right? - It's weird now.

(both chattering)

I don't know.

I don't know either. - This is scary.

It's creepy. - Yeah.

Yeah. - They're coming! Let's go!

(metal clanging)

(creatures roaring)

Oh my gosh!

What is that?

I told you.

Hey! Oh my god! - Oh my God!

See? Mutants.

I told you!

Oh my gosh!

They're everywhere!

I know! - What do we do?

(metal clanging)

Now this has gone too far!

I totally agree. I'm gonna call for help.

You? - And you were right.

(metal clangs) (mutant roars)

[Dalia] You are the one who didn't believe me!

I guess we need to get our stuff!

(both grunting)

(mutants roaring)

No! Hold up! - Ah!

You know what the one thing is

that I love about my boyfriend so much?

I could just imagine. He's fucking hot.

It's more like his spirit, his essence.

It kind of feels like those things

are trying to rob us of-

Fuck, you're right!

Dude, we gotta stop them.

My queen! Come hither.

Honey, what the hell?

This is your new home now, my queen.

Seriously, come to our castle.

Hey, what about me?

I have swords and knights.

We need a whole kingdom.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

But what about some cheese and crackers?

I could go for some snacks right now.

Oh, there's plenty of room.

This castle should be mine.

And you invite this woman?

Oh, this is my hallucination.

This is my boyfriend.

(both grunting)

Hey, hey. Break it up!

What are you two doing?

Hey, hey. Break it up!

What are you two doing?

(both grunting) (dramatic music)

Hey!

You're gonna fall!

(dramatic music)

(energetic music)

(Justine speaking faintly)

Oh no, Mr. Wilkey! - Careful! Under your feet.

(Mr. Wilkey groaning)

(energetic music)

(Justine speaking faintly)

(mysterious music)

(birds chirping) (wings flapping)

♪ Burning holes into my lungs ♪

♪ Like I'd rather not breathe to let myself scream ♪

♪ Tell me what's the point ♪

♪ Loving me ♪

♪ To work 'til I'm dead ♪

♪ And to love 'til I'm broke ♪

♪ Ain't this life a life of pain ♪

♪ But that's the point of anything I play ♪

♪ The same, all the same damn patterns once again ♪

♪ And I'll put my tea ♪

♪ Oh, making myself insane ♪

(acoustic guitar music)

♪ I shouldn't think that way ♪

♪ Because love is pain and pain is life ♪

♪ And life is long and love is blind ♪

♪ And I guess what I'm saying is ♪

♪ I'd rather not feel anything ♪

♪ But you see I've been caught in a trap ♪

♪ Holding on, not holding back ♪

(mutants roaring)

♪ To hold me when I pull away ♪

(acoustic guitar music)

(mutants growling)

♪ Away from the chains of running away ♪

♪ But running feels good ♪

♪ Running feels easy ♪

(mutant growls)

(water dripping) (mysterious music)

You will come back from once you came.

My! Impressive!

You really do have a photographic memory.

(mysterious music)

(mutant growling)

(dramatic music)

(Justine laughs)

My!

(mutants growling)

(Justine laughs)

Ah!

Aw, you look so mad.

Anyway, sweet dreams! (laughs)

(soothing music)

(mutants growling)

Okay. Where is she?

Your friend? I have no idea.

Ah, see, I told you.

The creatures only want a teeny little sliver of your souls.

You'll never even miss it.

But I could have a little hallucination

about a martini right now.

(Justine chuckles)

Come and see. You too.

Ah, the king is about to deliver my husband from the dead.

(mysterious music)

Come see. It's almost four o'clock.

(ominous music)

(tongue slurping)

(static crackling)

(mysterious music)

(portal zaps)

Hey, where are we?

(portal zaps)

(mutant roaring)

(portal zaps)

Can you help me?

We gotta get out of here!

(mysterious music)

(portal zaps)

(mutant slurping)

(portal zaps)

You're so beautiful.

(portal zaps)

(static crackling) (dramatic music)

(mutant slurping)

We gotta get out of here!

(portal zaps)

(mysterious music)

Help me!

(mutant roaring) (static crackling)

(suspenseful music)

(portal zaps)

(static crackling)

Why hasn't anyone destroyed these fucking things?

Well, it's not like they're messing with us.

Are they? Huh?

It's not fucking fair.

Earlier I heard the lady that they're doing a ceremony.

What? Like these things are supernatural or something?

Come on.

(suspenseful music)

(Justine laughing)

(Justine speaking in foreign language)

Take a healthy dose of her soul.

Yum! Take a generous helping of her soul.

Leave the girls alone.

(mutant growling)

Oh, my king. We will now do the exchange.

My dear husband, in exchange for my gift offering to you.

Her offering?

That doesn't sound good.

(mutant roars)

But you must understand you are helping me.

You are helping bring my Henry back to me.

And truly, living with 98% of your souls is sufficient.

I am truly sorry if you were drained of your souls.

But try to understand you are helping me.

My dear husband, for my gift offering to you, all free.

Plus you'd be saving a life.

(suspenseful music)

Well, can you get rid of them forever?

Let me get back to you on that one.

After all, only one of you will really be sacrificed.

And I actually hear

it's quite pleasant and peaceful like.

My king, we will now do the exchange.

My dear husband, for my gift offering to you.

That thing killed my best friend.

Let me go!

(mutant growling)

Let me go!

(Justine laughs)

Let me go!

(Justine laughs)

Take this entity and call it null and void and...

Oh! (laughs)

Oh, forget the words?

Here. Let me help you.

(suspenseful music)

I was supposed to call the police.

Here is my Henry's favorite watch.

Return his beautiful soul to me in its entirety.

(suspenseful music)

Take this person's possession and consume it.

My sacred bonnet?

Is this what was supposed to be in there?

Because if it was,

I'd rather my possession be more like a favorite dress.

Something special, you know?

I thought you should see your husband,

but you can travel to him!

That's not the way it works.

Oh, I didn't finish with, "So be it."

Oh, so be it.

(dramatic music)

(Justine gasps) (earth rumbling)

(Justine shouts)

(Justine gasps)

(earth rumbling)

I feel your pain, Justine.

But to give away my friends' souls

like croutons in a salad bar?

I don't think so.

You insolent cunt!

And one more thing

you probably don't know about the ceremony.

You need to donate a personal artifact.

Oh?

So be it. (speaks in foreign language)

I command you and your souls

to return to the darkest reaches of hell.

(mutant roaring)

(mutant crunching)

(Justine screaming)

Help me!

(dramatic music)

(body thumps)

(book buzzing)

(earth rumbling)

Shit! It's the book!

Beth's gonna need that!

(rocks clattering)

(mutant roars)

I got it!

(dramatic music)

(rocks clattering)

(birds chirping)

(suspenseful music)

(mutants roaring)

Looks like we're all safe for the time being.

Unless...

We won, Beth.

We did, but they're still out there.

We weakened the king.

But he's laughing at us.

This spell will send him

and whatever is left of the creatures back to hell forever.

But Justine warned us

that that last spell was super dangerous.

And so is leaving the chance to hurt anyone else

or even make a threat!

(dramatic music)

I abandoned my friends once.

See? Done.

You saved the day, Beth.

Now let's go celebrate.

(suspenseful music)

Beth?

Beth, don't do this, please.

I love you guys and no one hurts my friends.

Not Justine, not mutants, nobody!

It's over, Beth.

Yeah, we won.

I will make the mutants fizzle into jelly

and have them descend into hell forever

where they will be there for eternity.

Beth, you're the best friend I've ever had.

You watch out for us all.

Yes. Yes.

But don't do this.

Don't push it. We don't know.

This is the most dangerous spell.

But I'm saying it word for word straight from the book!

We can do it.

We can't go wrong.

(suspenseful music)

They will die for a half an hour

and we will go out for the best dinner

and as many Mai Tais as we can drink.

Just knowing that we kicked their asses and,

and they can't ever come back.

Now please, Summer, let me concentrate.

Okay.

(Beth sighs)

I command you and your souls to return

to the darkest recesses of hell

where you will be imprisoned for eternity

never to resurface.

And I command the king mutant

to perish into royal fish residue.

(Beth speaks in foreign language)

(mutants popping)

I command this now. So be it!

(dramatic music)

You did it, Beth. You saved the day.

No one fucks with my friends!

Margaritas! Let's go! - Go! (laughs)

(earth rumbling) (suspenseful music)

(mutants roaring)

(rocks clattering)

[Summer] Beth?

No, this spell returns to them to hell.

Look!

I know what it says, but...

No, Keith, no!

(mutants roaring)

What are you scared? What happened?

What are you scared?

Nothing. (sighs)

(suspenseful music) (earth rumbling)

Marshmallow treats?

You touched the sacred book while your hands were sticky?

You are the one who stole marshmallow treats for us.

It's your fault.

Oh, Beth! You did it to us!

(mutants roaring)

Summer, no!

Summer, hold still.

Leave my friend alone, you fuck mutant!

(Summer shouts)

Summer?

(dramatic music)

You're only allowed to raise one, Justine said so.

You made the pages stick!

I didn't read these pages.

(dramatic music) (earth rumbling)

(mutant roaring)

(mutant growling)

(mutant roars)

(mutant chomping)

(suspenseful music)

(bones crunching)

(grunts) Die!

Ugh! (grunts)

(mutants roaring)

Back up. This is my castle.

No, this is my castle.

Back up, back up. Too close.

(mutants roaring)

(dramatic music)

(mutants roaring)

(mutant crunches)

(cellphone ringing)

I have service?

(mutant roaring)

Maya?

Sorry, Jasmine. (laughs) - Oh my God, Maya,

[Maya] I got your voicemails.

Me and Chad, we got married.

We couldn't tell our parents.

We had to keep it a total secret from everyone.

But you were, you were out here.

I thought, I thought you were dead.

[Maya] Yeah, we did and Chad proposed. (laughs)

So we decided to head to a little church

in the middle of nowhere and elope.

Oh, Jasmine, I hope we're still besties.

(mutant roars)

Jasmine, are you still there?

Jasmine? I hope you're not mad at me.

You wanna get together tonight?

(mutant roaring)

What's going on?

Oh my God. Is everything all right?

Jasmine? Everything all right?

Jasmine?

(mutant roaring)

(light music)

(waves crashing)

(seagulls squawking)

Hey, I just got here. It's such a beautiful cove.

It's fake.

They just wanna enjoy a pristine cove by themselves

and keep people away.

Yeah. All right.

Well, I'm gonna go. Bye.

(upbeat music)

(Beth speaking in foreign language)

It says you can.

My king mutant of Nature Cove,

I will supply you with nourishment

of fresh, young souls.

And I command you to bring my friends back!

(suspenseful music)

It says right here that you can! You must!

Hey, what's with her?

Oh her? Don't worry about it.

It says you can!

She's here every day talking to herself.

If you ignore her, she'll leave you alone.

Creepy.

Please. I respect you, king.

I really do.

I love you! I command-

She's so weird.

Confirm this as being complete.

Send my friends back from where they came!

(crowbar thwacking)

It says you can right here!

(dramatic music)

I'll do whatever you want.

Just bring my friends back.

Just bring my friends back.

(mysterious music)

(energetic music)

(mysterious music)