Original subtitles

LAUGHTER

MOANING

SONG: 'Just When You're Thinkin' Things Over'

Smile!

? Just when you're thinking Things over

? And you need a set of vows

? And all your friends Seem disappointed... ?

I was trying to be nice!

How you doing, bro? All right? You all right?

What you drinking? Shots.

Happy birthday. Mwah!

How's it going? Good.

? Is all the sweetness you doubt

? I'm coming home

? You look good When your heart is on fire

? It's a matter of taste, yeah

? You do it right You don't follow the line

? Find of the sun

? Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh... ?

SHE LAUGHS

MOANING

They've agreed to release you on bail,

but you'll have to go before the Magistrates' Court again.

I wish you'd asked me before doing this.

Certainly hasn't helped.

Go, go, go!

Oh! SHOUTING

All right, all right, all right.

? You look good When your heart is on fire... ?

Hope you're having a good time. Don't worry about me, though (!)

? Yeah

? You do it right You don't follow... ?

MOANING

SHE SIGHS AND LAUGHS

I'm dead worried about your frozen food. Huh?

It'll be fit for nothing. THEY LAUGH

HE SIGHS

CHATTER

Hey. Shame you couldn't make Mariella's party, eh?

Oh. Best party I've been to in ages.

Well, you know, erm...

Ollie looked like he was having a good time.

PHONE CHIMES, BUZZES

SHE SCOFFS What the fuck?

Look at you. You're glowing.

What do you mean? Your skin and your hair.

Are you making the effort for that new English teacher?

He's about 19. What, so? I would.

THEY LAUGH, KNOCKING ON DOOR

Sorry to bother you,

but little Jonny's forgotten his book.

What do you want? We need to talk about Ally's house.

SHE SIGHS I've said all there is to say.

Au contraire, Elizabeth. There's a lot more to say.

What's that thing they have in courtroom dramas?

New evidence has come to light. What new evidence?

Let's just say that it's come to my knowledge

that my dead ex-wife's now deserted house is being used

for illicit sexual trysts.

Love that word - trysts. Don't you?

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY, DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES

I can meet you but not till lunchtime. Where?

There's a place near my work - Stomping Ground.

You're buying.

SHE BREATHES SHAKILY

HE COUGHS OK, nice to see you.

HE COUGHS

SIGHS

Neil Brookes, room nine.

KNOCKING ON DOOR Yeah, come in.

Hey.

Hey, come in and have a seat.

NEIL SIGHS

What can I do for you? Thing is...

...I don't really come to the doctor's.

But the few times I've met you, you've seemed sound, so...

...I thought...

Look, I don't know if Oliver's told you,

but I've got myself into a bit of bother

with an assault charge.

And, look, I wouldn't say that I'm depressed,

cos, well...

depression's for the middle classes, innit?

But, erm...

Something just... is weighing heavy on me.

It's all right.

Honestly, so many people get depressed,

especially when it's circumstance-driven.

I know, but I don't wanna take it out on the kids, you know, and Beth.

I'm sure you're not.

To be honest with you, mate... SIGHS

...I think she's getting fed up of me.

SHE MOANS SOFTLY

I just need something temporary just to get through the court case.

And then... OK.

When is that? A few weeks.

All right. I can prescribe you diazepam.

It treats insomnia and anxiety.

I'll give you the lowest dose, two milligrams, twice a day,

but it can be addictive, so you mustn't drink.

Alcohol can increase its effects,

so does that sound like something that would suit you?

Well...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah?

Erm...

Who is representing you in your defence?

Holdon's. Holdon's.

Right, well...

...if you want a second opinion, my brother is in business law.

If you do.

Do you think he'll mind? No.

He loves the sound of his own voice. NEIL CHUCKLES SOFTLY

Well, yeah, that... Yeah, that'd be great, yeah.

And can we keep this between us?

Cos I don't want Beth and the kids knowing... Absolutely.

So, come on. Who's your lover?

Are you out of your mind? Oh, come on!

I'm a man of the world.

See, I saw you, Beth...

...with my own eyes.

Well, whatever you think you saw, you're mistaken.

Oh, really? Yeah, really.

Do you remember when I told you that I still had all the apps

on my phone... when I used to live at the house?

So, what's this, then? Blackmail?

Blackmail... What a sordid accusation.

It's not what it looks like. Oh, I think it is.

Isn't it?

See, Ally liked Neil, Beth. SHE SCOFFS

And I don't think she left you that house

to conduct your filthy affair in.

So, shall we stop playing around...

...work out what our solution is?

CHATTER

SHE SIGHS

CHATTER

Oi!

Look, all right, look, before you go crazy, it's bullshit.

You know, we were all off it. Someone's stirring the shit.

She's got her hands all over you. Hardly.

You think I'm gonna get off with Mariella?

Yes, why not?

Because I'm seeing you.

Yeah, well, I was messaging you and you weren't replying,

so what was I meant to think?

So, what, you don't trust me?

No, it's not that. It's just...

Well, do you?

Course I do.

SHE SIGHS Come here. God.

BREATHES HEAVILY

Oh, shit. Shit.

BREATHES HEAVILY

Oh, come on.

Oh, fuck. SIGHS

Precarious.

Precarious.

Why that word?

Because it feels, at any moment,

something precious can be taken away.

You know, we don't think about it,

but we're all just one moment away from our lives disintegrating.

SHE SCOFFS

You know, the police arriving at the door

and telling you there's been an accident or an illness.

You know, one of you finds a lump.

SHE SIGHS SHAKILY

At its worst, it was every minute of every day.

The thoughts just taking over.

Like something bad was just around the corner, and it was...

just a matter of time before it happened.

But by your own admission,

you'd had a charmed life before all this started.

I had.

So why do you think your discovery hit you so hard?

Because I didn't have the tools to deal with it.

I'd been sheltered...

...by lies.

UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS

Hey. Are you OK? Is there a problem?

Neil came to see me at the surgery. Saying what?

It's not about us, OK, but...

God, I'd be struck off if I told you this.

He wanted pills...

for sleeping and anxiety because of the assault case.

Assault case?

Thanks for telling me about that (!)

Who was it? Oh, it was a client.

A... money dispute.

And I didn't tell you cos it doesn't reflect well on us, does it?

On Ollie or on me.

Well, if he hits people over money,

what's he gonna do if he finds out about this?

No, he's not violent. He's just an idiot.

What is the plan here?

Well, we don't... We don't have one.

Isn't that sort of the point? SHE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

Do you wanna end it? No.

It's these snatched moments.

I just wanna see you more, I suppose.

My mum left me and Paul this...

...old cottage in the Lakes.

Maybe this weekend, we could just go up there.

What...? What will I tell Neil and the kids?

I can't just say I'm going to the Lakes.

NEIL: 'Northumberland?'

Why there?

She spent a lot of time there when she was a kid.

She wants them scattered on the beach at Craster.

When did she tell you that?

We was just drunk one night, you know?

Talking about... death.

That's just weird. Adults are weird.

What even are ashes?

Is it the body or the coffin as well?

I don't know. That's what she wanted.

I'll google it. Why don't we all go one weekend?

Can make a trip of it. I'm not spreading ashes.

I'll go.

Yeah, that's nice, but, erm...

...I promised Ally's brother that I would do it soon and...

...to be honest, I think it would be good for me

if it were just me and her.

Say goodbye properly.

We can go another time.

Fine, go, then.

Don't worry about me, looking after two kids

and working my balls off all day.

Neil... DOOR SLAMS

He's just tired.

It's the coffin as well, you know? Mm-hm.

I won't go.

Sorry for snapping.

Just knackered.

HE SIGHS

Look, I've been thinking.

The booze...

...I'm gonna knock it on the head for a few weeks... till the trial.

Right, yeah, I think that's a good idea.

Yeah, and hopefully, I can get some rest.

Stop being such a... useless husband.

You're not a useless husband.

I bloody love you, you know?

I know I hardly ever say it, but...

...I do. I...

SHE CRIES God, I'm really sorry.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa.

Hey. SHE CRIES

HE SIGHS

I didn't mean to make you cry. Sorry.

I love you, too.

Oi, lovebirds, get a room.

Oh, God. We're just having a moment. Go in.

Go on your trip, spread Ally's ashes.

I want you to.

Your mum and dad are outside being cute.

FRANKIE: Why? What they doing?

Kissing, cuddling, you know. Grim.

I don't know. I think it's lovely.

You know, I wish my mum and dad were still like that. Mm.

HANNAH: Hey.

What? In case it's got rats again.

We didn't see any rats. Well, we found rat poo.

Mm. Rat poo. Yes, there was rat poo.

Wish I was going with you. Yeah.

Suppose it's a good thing for me

to stay and be with the girls on my own for a bit.

It's been a while since I've been able to.

Yeah. Progress, right?

I'll give the rats your love. OK.

Drive safely. Yeah, I will.

Mmm.

Ah... Bye.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT Bye.

SIGHS

EXHALES DEEPLY

SIGHS

THEY SQUEAL AND GIGGLE

Making the bed! Whee! Whee! Making the bed!

Ah! THEY SQUEAL

SIGHS

CRIES SOFTLY

PHONE BUZZES

SNIFFLES

PHONE BUZZES

Hiya.

What happened?

Tom, I...

Where are you?

'I'm just up the road from where I came in.'

OK, just stay there, OK?

EXHALES DEEPLY

HE SIGHS

I feel exactly the same.

SHE SIGHS

CAR DOOR OPENS

CAR DOOR CLOSES

TOM SIGHS Here, let me grab that for you.

Don't look now, but there is a woman peeking at us from behind that wall.

Oh, yeah.

Mrs Bailey. Completely doolally.

"Doolally"?

That's not a phrase you hear very much any more, Tom.

Not very woke, that. Batshit crazy?

Mentalist?

And a terrible racist.

Mm. KEYS RATTLE

Just pop the bag down anywhere.

Oh, boy.

I'll stick the kettle on.

How long did your mum live here?

Er, I think about ten years in the end.

Not one for home improvements, my mum.

HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

She was pretty unhappy most her life,

but she moved back up here, and it...

it sort of shrank to this, and...

...she was happier than she'd ever been,

just her and her dog.

Funny seeing as she was just up the road from the man

that made her so miserable.

Do you still see your dad? Not really, no.

Didn't see him much growing up.

He makes absolutely no effort with the grandkids. His choice.

That must be really sad for you. Ah, it is what it is.

Do you want tea?

MOANING

THEY CHUCKLE

HE GROANS SOFTLY

Look at that view. Right, are we doing this?

HE SIGHS After you.

SHE CHUCKLES

It's colder than you think. We'll warm up.

Come on, coward!

Mad woman.

Come on! Agh! SHE CHUCKLES

Fucking hell. Oh, God.

THEY LAUGH

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, thanks. Here.

Let me. Really? Oh.

Thank you. 12.40.

CARD MACHINE BEEPS Thanks.

The kids would love it here.

Yeah. You should have brought them.

Mine do.

They did.

Haven't been here for years.

Do you like being dad to three girls, man of the house?

Yeah, well... teens.

SHE CHUCKLES

Is Neil OK? Yeah.

Well, I've just been thinking about...

...what will happen if he gets time.

Well, we'd be screwed financially, and the kids would be broken.

And you?

Well, it'd give me the perfect excuse, wouldn't it?

HE LAUGHS

But you don't want that.

No, cos despite playing the big man, he's actually just a little boy.

And prison, it would break him.

Let's not spoil this with reality.

Tonight, let's go on a date.

Date? Like a date-date?

Yeah, book a restaurant, and then we'll leave the house

without seeing each other and meet there.

When was the last time you went on a date?

Like, got all dressed up.

I know it's a bit ridiculous, but...

No. No, I love the idea.

There's a place that I've never been to before

because we're always with the kids.

It's called The... The Orangery.

The Orangery it is. See you there at seven.

Yeah, I'm here now.

I'm just near the bar. Where are you?

Oh, there.

You all right?

Yeah, are you? Yeah.

Do you want a drink? Oh, I'm good.

Do you wanna get yourself one?

Ah, I'm... trying to lay off it a bit.

Very wise. Thanks for seeing me.

Well, you know, when your brother asks...

I thought he might join us, pay for the beers.

Where is he?

He's in the Lakes. Mum had a place up there, so...

Ah, nice. No, it's a shithole.

Windermere's all right, but the...

but the cottage is like the house that time forgot.

Oh! THEY LAUGH

Right, so, shall we get started? Have you got your case notes?

Yeah, yeah. HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Yeah, it's just that.

Hm.

Hm.

Oh, do you know what? I will get a beer, actually.

Better make that two.

Wow. You look gorgeous.

IN A WEST COUNTRY ACCENT: Why, thank you, kind sir.

Not sure why I did that in a Devon accent.

THEY CHUCKLE

Madam...

You look pretty good yourself.

IN A WEST COUNTRY ACCENT: Thank you, my lover.

I took the liberty of ordering some wine.

Date rules for this evening - we can talk about anything except...

SHE WHISPERS: ...our partners, our children

and the boring realities of our other lives.

Agreed? Agreed.

THEY CHUCKLE SOFTLY

He locked you in his shop. Yeah.

False imprisonment.

You went to apologise, and he kept you against your will.

Has your lawyer requested the CCTV footage?

No, not that I know of. They'll have it.

They always do...

HE WHISPERS: ..for insurance.

And it's win-win, cos if he produces it,

it backs up your story.

And if he doesn't, or he claims it's been deleted,

your lawyer says he's destroyed evidence of a crime.

Yeah, but what if his lawyer says that I was trying to intimidate him.

Were you? No. I was fucking begging him.

Well, there you go, then.

You were trying to reason. Mm.

Express your humanity.

But he falsely imprisoned you...

...and gave you a panic attack.

They can't see that on a CCTV, right?

NEIL SCOFFS

Neil...

...this is your life.

This is your freedom.

In cases like this...

...you gotta fight fire with fire.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't understand. Just ask for it.

Mr Brookes, I don't appreciate you seeking second counsel

and then thrusting said counsel down my...

I'm not thrusting anything. But what he said made sense.

'False imprisonment, that's the first I've heard of it.

'Why?' Because it won't hold water.

'Why?' Because I'm telling you it won't.

Why?

Because you were given a restraining order against Mr Wells

and because you weren't threatened,

and he will claim he was in fear of further attack.

Right, well, that's bullshit. Request the CCTV.

Oh, Jesus.

I'm asking you, as my brief, to request the CCTV.

Look, in my professional opinion, I...

Fuck your professional opinion. Who's the client?

Do you even care about me?

I do. Of course I do.

But if we are to enter a courtroom together,

I need you to trust my professional...

'Request the CCTV.'

Request the CCTV.

HE MUMBLES

You aren't gonna do it, are you?

Right, well, do you know what?

I don't trust your professional opinion.

'Well, I'm afraid, that being the case,

'I've gone as far as I can go.'

I wish you well for the future.

SIGHS

PHONE BUZZES

The fuck's he want?

Hello?

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Get out. Thanks.

I'm doing homework.

So, you won't wanna see this, then, will you?

What's that? Ollie at a party with another girl.

Who sent you that? One of my mates.

She was at the party as well, and it was going round,

so I thought you might wanna see it.

One of your mates at a Year 11 party?

I don't think so, Daisy.

I'm not a kid any more. You treat me like I'm a baby.

So, why's he with her? He's not. It's bullshit.

It doesn't look like bullshit.

Do you know why I treat you like a baby, Daisy?

Because you are one. Now get out!

Well, at least my boyfriend isn't cheating on me.

DOOR SLAMS

What were you like as a kid?

I, erm...

Well, I don't... What's the saying? What's the saying?

"Show me the boy at seven, and I'll show you the man."

You were the same at seven as you are now?

HE CHUCKLES Pretty much.

I was very, erm... rule abiding.

I didn't like lies or deceit, believe it or not.

My friends used to go and steal stuff from the local shop,

and I just couldn't do it cos I was always very worried

about how my parents would feel when they found out.

You were well brought up. Yeah.

Weren't you? I guess.

Although looking back, I think...

...my parents didn't show each other much respect, you know?

Yeah. They'd bicker and snipe.

I've no doubt that they loved each other,

and after a few drinks,

they'd have a cuddle, you know, but...

...I don't think I ever learnt what real...

...connection looked like, you know?

A couple that was really a couple.

My parents always pretended to be the perfect suburban couple...

...until they couldn't pretend any more.

So I don't think I knew what proper connection was, really.

Shall we...? Shall we get another bottle of wine?

I think I've had my daily limit, doctor.

Do remember, they are just guidelines.

SHE CHUCKLES

SHE SIGHS

DIALLING TONE

PHONE BUZZES

Hiya. 'I'm gonna say this once,

'and then I'm never gonna say it again.'

I won't be cheated on, Ollie.

And if I ever find out that you have, then we're done.

Jess, I didn't cheat on you at al... 'No.'

Cheat, and we're done. Remember that.

You know, it's the worst thing you could do to someone.

It's unforgivable.

Weird face, weird hair, ten years older than you said,

orange face, loose teeth, no hair at all...

But you would do it, though, if you were single.

It's like buying trainers. SHE LAUGHS

My friend at work does it.

She's with a different bloke every week.

We never had that. No.

How many women have you slept with?

Well, don't be shy, Beth. Just come out and ask me...

Well, it's not many, right? Like me.

I got married too young.

And before that, I was only with people I were in a thing with.

I never had any fun.

So, come on, how many?

Well, not that many. Well, that's not a number.

You didn't give me a number. Seven.

OK, well, it's more than that...

Number? What difference does it make?

I was at medical school. HE CHUCKLES

Oh, right, so you were a stud, then?

No, I mean, look,

let's just say, beforehand, you know, I had a good run.

Don't even wanna know.

There were nurses and doctors and...

What else you gonna do? It's night shift.

What? Nothing. I mean, I...

I had the special key...

Disabled toilet.

It was the venue of choice. Oh, right, classy man (!)

Well, if that's what you're into...

classy man... SHE CHUCKLES

What?

SHE EXHALES

PHONE CHIMES

Oh... Fu...

PHONE BUZZES

Hello, Elizabeth. 'You can't tell Neil.'

Is that a fact?

You've got no proof of anything.

KNOCK ON DOOR Oh, just a minute!

You with him now, then? Your fancy man?

No, I'm not. I'm doing exactly what I told Neil.

I'm spreading Ally's ashes.

Lies, Beth.

Do you think I'm stupid?

And deleting the footage does not change anything

cos I've taken a photo of it.

'You got to get up pretty early in the morning

'to pull the wool over my eyes, Beth.'

Just a sec.

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY Shit!

All right. All right, Dave.

The house... The house is yours.

But you have to give me something for it, cash-wise.

'Or what will I tell Neil?' No deal.

'Please, Dave, just be reasonable.'

There's all sorts of tax shit. There's paperwork.

OK, all right, I understand.

I'll just go back inside and tell your husband

that you're banging another man

whilst using your dead friend's ashes as cover.

No! No, Dave, I am begging you.

I'll sort the house. Just please, please don't tell him.

All right, fine.

I'll see what I can afford, but if you go back on this...

I won't. I won't, I swear.

You shouldn't do this to him, Beth.

Neil's a good bloke,

and I know for a fact this isn't the first time.

It's actually pretty disgusting in there.

Everything OK? Yeah, fine.

Actually, I just had a better idea.

I found these gummies in Ollie's room.

All right.

HE GROANS, SHE SCREAMS

Wait, I can't even walk. SHE LAUGHS

Come on! Ah!

What? Are you scared, are you? Come on.

SHE LAUGHS

Come on, no. I'm not a little boy.

No, not the seesaw.

THEY LAUGH

No, come on. Oh, no, I'm gonna be sick.

THEY LAUGH

You've got the most beautiful eyes.

Thanks, but you're really drunk and high.

HE LAUGHS

I'm already moody.

You're already... You're already moody.

THEY LAUGH

I'm moodier than you. No. I am.

I... Shall we...?

Shall we have one more, or shall we go back to the palace?

SHE SIGHS Mm...

All right. THEY LAUGH

Right, erm... HE MUMBLES

Oh, grab that one, quick. Oh, right, yeah.

I'll get it. Do you want a white wine?

Yeah. Mm-hm.

Hello. Hey.

Can I get a large white wine?

And I'll have a pint of lager, please.

CHATTER

CHATTER

HE SIGHS

Tom, are you all right? Is it the gummies?

No... Are you all right? Are you OK?

I can't do this. What?

This... us, I can't do it.

I'm gonna destroy everything. SIGHS

I can't do it to them.

They're gonna be so heartbroken. They're never gonna forgive me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, just calm down. Calm down.

I'm not this man. Well, you were earlier.

We're gonna destroy everything.

We're gonna cause so much damage, Beth.

Well, we might not.

We might not, and we might end up happier...

Tom... It's not real! It's not real!

We have lives with other people.

Right.

Oh, so, you've had your fling with me.

You fucked me every which way... No, no, no.

Beth, Beth, Beth, listen, in there...

I'm sorry, I just saw my dad with some woman in there.

And I was transported back to being the ten-year-old little boy,

with my mum balling her eyes out and us going,

"Mummy, where's Daddy?" HE PANTS

And not knowing what we'd done wrong.

I can't... I can't... I can't do that to them.

Do you understand? I can't be that man.

I'm not gonna be THAT man.

I'm not that fucking man.

HE CRIES

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