Original subtitles

Welcome to Phantoms and Phenomenons.

I'm your host, James Emerson Fielding.

Tonight's episode brings us face-to-face with

one of the deadliest amusement parks on record.

Of course, I'm talking about the mystery of Action Wonderland,

the brainchild of eccentric inventor Oscar von Metzger.

The park was built in 1988 as a children's paradise, but it quickly became a

nightmare as dozens of kids were injured on its unregulated rides.

Locals rebranded Action Wonderland, Traction Wonderland, or the more ominous

and infamous nickname that it goes by today, Traction Park.

Parents' groups tried to shut the park down, but it

took a personal tragedy to finally close it for good.

On May 1st, 2009, von Metzger's own daughter, Eva, was

killed on a dangerous new ride, the Bowler Coaster.

Von Metzger went crazy with grief and burned the park to the ground.

However, he failed to realize that his twin sons, Otto and Emil, were still inside.

Von Metzger ran into the flames to save them, and all were consumed.

To this day, the bodies of Otto and Emil von Metzger have never been found.

It's said they wandered the woods in what's left of Traction Park.

Many disappearances have been attributed to the so-called Terror Twins.

Whoa, damn!

Are you serious?

What the fuck?

Damn!

Just... just following the GPS.

By causing deforestation?

We're not gonna find this park unless you watch where the fuck you're going.

Dude, I am watching where the fuck I'm going, so if you would just leave me...

Oh, you're not gonna...

You're a bunch of bitches.

This is a statue.

Get the camera and come on.

Whatever, man.

Scream 2.

My boss is gonna kill me.

No, don't worry about any of that shit.

Gonna get tons of views when this video goes up.

I'm trying to go and explode.

Come on, now.

If we survive.

No, moon, no.

See, I don't want to hear any of your theories.

It's just super-sist bullshit.

Okay?

You got one thing to do.

Shoot that goddamn camera and shut the fuck up.

Damn!

It's two things.

It's gonna be three things when I whoop that ass.

Alright.

Let's go and get this.

Let's go and find the park, y'all.

Oh, my God.

The van is fucked.

You guys fucked my van.

Oh, please.

It'll be alright.

We'll get money from the video.

It'll be okay.

Guys, get out of my shot.

Is this what you were scared of?

No, no, no, he was, he was, he was moving.

He was like... No, he was not moving.

Yes, he was.

That figure was wacky.

Look, you can't be scared in the scared zone.

You definitely were scared, too.

I heard your voice go up.

Lord.

You might be a soprano.

He was like, man, pull up your diapers.

Let's go.

Tired of y'all.

I wear pull-ups.

It's not even funny.

We've seen this tree before, man.

Man, dude, all the trees look the same.

Look, look, this one, this one was girthier.

This one had the girth.

Girth?

We're lost, man.

It's been two hours.

We good, we good, okay?

This is the way the monkey told us to go.

I think it was a Bigfoot.

Oh, you about to get a Bigfoot up your...

Oh.

Yes!

Oh, hell yeah!

That was what I'm talking about!

Holy shit.

Oh, my gosh.

All right, get up there.

What, what, why me?

Well, because Moon got the camera and I'm the host.

So you got to get up there.

But I, I, I can...

Get up there.

I believe in you.

I don't.

All right, hold the shot.

That's right, that's right.

We here.

The famous end known as Satan's fink to... Come on.

Awesome structure to see if it's safe and show you

what it's like to take the plunge down Satan's hole.

You have now entered the scare zone.

Oh, so scary.

What'd you see?

It's a tube.

Hey, well, check it out.

No, man, no, I'm not, I'm not getting in there.

What'd you, just throw something down there.

Well, do you see anything?

I don't want to, I don't want to get that close, man.

If they don't shine a light down there or something.

Man, I could film this shit.

Come on.

How come I don't stay down there and you come up here?

But no, send Evan up the stairs.

I just love it.

No.

Hold on, hold on, there's something written up here.

What?

It says, it says, if, if you're, if you're, if you're reading this,

you're already dead.

Oh, shit.

Dead?

Evan!

Are you hurt?

Gross, get me out of here!

Man, this is not good.

Moon, shut your ass up.

Damn, I don't want to hear your theories.

Keep filming.

Ah.

All right, people.

Evan is taking the plunge into Satan's hole and we gonna try and get him out.

Evan, tell the viewers what you see.

I can't see shit.

Oh, it smells like shit in here.

And I'm in shit water.

Get me out of here!

Okay, well, calm down.

Just climb back up.

What, what, what the fuck are you doing?

How the fuck am I supposed to climb back up?

I can't see anything.

Okay, well then shimmy back up.

Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, what the fuck are you doing?

I can't shimmy!

All right, hold on.

Let me think.

Damn.

All right, people, um, Evan is trapped and scared.

The Terra Twins have ensnared another victim.

Dude, we have to get him out.

I will throw you down there myself.

Keep filming.

Damn!

You're a terrible friend.

You're a terrible cameraman.

Terrible afro.

Oh, wait.

I think I, I think I got a foothold in here.

I can, I can come around and get out at the bottom.

Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

Our main Evan is going to attempt the impossible and deny the Terra Twins they prize.

What?

You got this, man.

And when I get out of here, I'm gonna kick the shit out of you!

Damn.

I hope you can do it.

I'm gonna beat your ass.

And we gonna be famous.

Come on.

How's it going, man?

I think I can do it.

I'm almost there.

You're gonna be a star, kid.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Wait, what?

Ow, dude!

What the fuck?

There's like, there's like blades in here!

Huh?

Blades?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck!

No way, man.

No way, man.

No way, man.

No way, man.

No way, man.

No way.

Fuck this.

No way.

No way, man.

No way, man.

No way, man.

No way, man.

Oh, don't you dare blame this on me, Frank.

What the hell are you talking about?

Hey.

Oh, you said you didn't want to go?

But come on!

This will be fun.

Get away from that toxic shit.

Dude, come on.

No buts.

Okay, you need this.

Full disclosure, we're already on our way.

Pretty close, actually.

Lisa, what the hell?

Dude, I told you I didn't want to go.

And the last thing I need is to see Mark and whatever skank that he's with right now.

Her name is Candy?

Of course her name is Candy.

Come on.

For me?

Fine.

Yes!

I didn't even pack anything.

You don't need anything.

I have plenty.

Oh, it's going to be so great.

Come on, get it.

This was a choice.

Oh, my God.

Oh, shit.

Jenny-chan.

Hey, Jamal.

Oh, oh, my God.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Good to see you.

Nice to see you, too.

Welcome.

Jamie.

Long time.

Looking good.

Hey, baby.

Hey.

Don't worry.

She had her chance.

And she blew it.

Check it out.

Took the best RV on my dad's lot.

I'll give you a little tour.

Got the lounge for hanging out.

The bathroom, but only for number one.

No dumping.

Everybody got that.

Where are we supposed to go, then?

Ever heard of the woods?

That's why it's called camping.

It is a rolling party on wheels.

But, of course, the real party will happen back here.

See what you're missing.

Gross.

Gross.

She knows exactly what she's not missing.

Jamie needs her friends right now.

We're gonna be here for her.

You know what, Misa?

Maybe this isn't a great idea.

Too late.

Can't get out now.

Either you start driving or I will.

No one's driving but me.

All right, rolling party.

Start rolling.

It's gonna be a real fucking barrel of laughs.

Hey, Jamie.

Don't worry about him.

The only thing you need to worry about is how many times you're gonna hit this.

Come on.

Sit down.

So, college girl.

How's it?

I mean, I like it.

It's not like I know what I want to do with my life or anything.

I'm just... I'm glad that I was able to get out of, um...

What, got you out of Curtisville?

It's okay.

You can say it.

More like just out of my parents' house.

Yeah, so what's so great about college?

I never said that it was great.

You pay for four more years of school, and it's all bullshit anyways.

That's why I opted out of college.

You didn't get into college.

Well, that too, but it's still a bunch of bullshit.

I got all I need right here.

So, everything still sucks at home?

Yeah.

I mean, my parents' marriage is finally over.

I don't know where that leaves me.

Yep, been there before.

Yeah, don't sweat it.

When my parents split up, it was the best day of my frickin' life.

After that, each of them gave me whatever I

wanted, so long as I talk shit about the other one.

Parents suck.

God, can we talk about anything other than our parents right now?

Where are we even going?

The boys want to see some old abandoned amusement park?

They say it's haunted.

Ooh.

Oh, no.

That shit is haunted.

I googled it.

It's a place called Action Wonderland.

Burned down like 15 years ago.

Look.

And supposedly, these maniacs, the Von Metzger twins, still haunt the place.

Great, so you kidnapped me to put me in a shitty slasher film.

No, I kidnapped you to save me.

That is if we find the place.

I mean, I got the GPS coordinates, but you know.

Hey, you said you wanted to get away from it all.

What better way to do it than this?

This wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Why?

We not good enough for you, honey?

Maybe you'd have more fun with your college friends.

Fuck off, Mark.

Hey, watch it, sunshine.

I don't fucking need this.

Nice one, asshole.

Hey, hey, where are you going?

That bedroom is for me.

And me.

You better not mess anything up back there.

And no dumping.

I'm so psyched you're here.

You kidnapped me.

Girl gotta do what a girl gotta do.

What?

Come on, you can't expect me to spend the whole

weekend with the only other girl being Candy.

Well, obviously.

God, I missed you.

Like, so much.

I mean, I was happy you got into a real school, but then you were just, like, gone.

I mean, wasn't ready to, like, lose you yet.

Lisa, trust me, I missed you, like, more than you know.

Honestly, I'm really glad that you kidnapped me.

I just, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

What do you mean?

I mean with the rest of my life.

How about live it?

That's easy for you to say.

Your whole world isn't being turned upside down.

Okay, you're just not used to the feeling yet.

What feeling?

Seriously?

I'm not being controlled, duh.

Fuck off.

That's not even true.

Like, at all.

No, yeah, it is.

I mean, remember when we'd have sleepovers at your house?

And you always wanted to camp out in that grody-ass tent in your backyard?

I mean, I hated it, because every creak and every sound,

I would think Mike Myers was trying to come carve us up.

And then you would literally drag me out, kicking and screaming with a flashlight,

just to show me we were safe.

It worked?

It wasn't grody.

So grody, Jay.

I wasn't.

But I mean, you knew you wanted more, so you dumped dickless out here,

got out of our small-ass town, got into school.

Hey, you know there was actually a little something down there?

What, a tic-tac?

Hey, two girls can't have that much fun without me.

What's up?

Not much.

Jamie's looking for a breath mint.

Stop.

I don't have one.

We know!

Damn.

Sounds like the party moved to the back.

So seriously, no one's special at school?

No.

Not really.

I mean, colleges are so different.

It's like, I can finally be who I want to be.

I'm not Jamie from Curtisville, I'm just Jamie from who fucking cares.

Jamie, you got out of our dumb-ass town.

Okay, don't let anything stop you now.

Just keep going.

What the fuck?

Who the fuck are they?

These guys are crazy.

Mom, do something!

Like what?

Relax, they're turning off.

Lucky for them.

It's about to go out GTA on them.

Yeah, yeah.

This shit, bro.

I would have done it.

And it would have been in my rights, too.

Nobody fucks with my RV.

You mean your dad's RV?

You want to get out and walk?

All right, all right.

Everybody just fucking relax, all right?

Please, please, please, please, please.

Oh, yeah, I mean, it's definitely laundry's money.

Excuse me?

Where's the bathroom, please?

Around the corner.

Keys on the counter.

Stop!

Go on, go on.

Yeah, I bet you do want me to go to the middle of the field again.

No.

No.

Well, give me that.

And, uh, give me these.

And, uh, yeah, some of those for the munchies.

Yo, is this that stupid park you were talking about?

Yo, this is the place.

Bro, this is gonna be so crazy.

Gotta bring your first aid kit.

Yeah, sure thing, lady.

And notify your next of kin.

What's that?

Some kind of stupid warning or something?

I'm not afraid of the dark lady or some stupid-ass ghost twins.

Just, uh... Just bag it up.

Gotta take a dump.

Hey, I'm so sorry.

What about them?

We need to apologize.

Seen many like him before.

Oh, God, there are more.

Oh, sure.

Every year, folks try to find that old amusement park.

They want to get their selfies.

See if it's for real.

You say it like you've seen it.

How do you think I got this limp?

What's your name?

Jamie.

Sarah.

Yes, I was there.

I was babysitting my nephews.

That place was out of control.

And they didn't maintain those rides worth a damn.

I couldn't stop.

And I went off the track.

Spent the next year learning to walk again.

Lucky to be alive at all.

Can I help you, son?

Hi there.

Can I get, uh, $20 on pump two, please?

Money on two?

You're all set.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, yeah.

And one of these.

Thanks.

So why are you here, child?

You don't seem like...

like you belong with the others.

They your kin?

Oh, no.

They're just my friends.

I don't really know where I belong at all right now.

Who knows where any of us belongs?

I never thought I'd be spending my days behind this counter.

And yet, somehow...

I ended up here looking after...

I mean, selling beer and gasoline to the odd tourist that happens by.

Child, please, listen to me.

You and your friends jump back in that fancy buggy of yours...

and you head back to where you came from.

You're running from your troubles.

But you're running to trouble.

Those twins, are they real?

They were real back then?

There's more danger up in those woods.

More than you can imagine.

Yeah.

Okay, I'll be careful.

But there's always the unexpected.

Hey, thanks, lady.

Nice pose.

What the fuck?

Nice place you got here, amigo.

It's like your own little private Idaho and wheels.

Dude!

I wasn't going there for like two weeks if I was yours.

I'm only going to leave the door closed.

Get the fuck out!

Hold up, hold up.

Take it easy, pretty boy.

I was just inspecting the premises.

Where are y'all going?

Where are y'all going?

We're going to none of your fucking business.

See, that's just not very nice.

What about you, brother?

Huh?

Where are you going?

I'm not your brother.

See, now, that just hurts my feelings.

Leave them alone, assholes.

Well, well, well.

Well, if it ain't Cheerleader Barber.

And all the other Barbies from Barbie's camper playset.

Other accessories, so sorry.

Just go.

Okay, we don't want any trouble.

Trouble?

Trouble, I mean...

We don't want any trouble either, do we, boys?

Not me.

No.

No.

I mean, we wouldn't even be here right now if you

hadn't been hogging the road back there and cut us off.

What?

That's bullshit.

Bro, you literally almost made us crash.

You see, now that... That's a matter of opinion.

But there is something we can all agree on here.

Recreational vehicles.

Yeah.

See, I love men and R.O.B.

They're like a little slice of home.

No, no, they're like a little slice of the American dream.

Wherever you go.

You know, a man can get pretty tired of riding on two wheels his whole life.

If I had me something like this, I might just put my kickstand down a while.

Maybe.

Just maybe find me a sweet little thing to settle down with.

Hmm, yes.

Live the easy life.

On cruise control.

So tell me something, pretty boy.

How's a boy like you come to have such a fine machine like this?

By working my ass off for it.

Oh, ain't that a bitch.

You see, I worked my ass off too.

Yeah, I fought for this country.

I fought for the American dream.

Hell, I bled for it!

Which means I fought for your ass too, pretty boy.

Yeah, I don't have some fancy RV like this.

No.

Just don't seem fair, really.

Maybe.

Maybe it's because I didn't have daddy's money

to buy me every single fucking thing I wanted.

Hey!

Why don't you just leave?

Well, if it ain't quiet Barbie.

Look at you.

Why don't you just shove your kickstand right back up in your panties and fuck off?

Let me see.

If, uh, my arithmetic is correct, you seem to be the fifth wheel in this bunch.

Cause pretty boy Ken, he's got his Barbie, right?

And G.I.

Joe, he's got his old lady, but then there's you.

Left out cold.

Just keeping you warm up, my sister.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Don't you?

Let them go!

God damn it, lady!

Guns exacerbate my anxiety.

And I said, let them go.

Careful and open that.

You know what we made again, little lady?

Oh my God!

It stinks in here!

Now get on your bikes and ride out of here.

We ain't even gassed up yet.

Just go.

And I mean in the other direction.

I called the sheriff and he's on his way.

So just leave.

Will you be sure to give the sheriff our regards, ma'am?

Tell him from Napalm and the boys.

I want that RV.

Carter?

Call up the guys.

Tell him to meet us.

We got work to do.

They're just a bunch of kids.

I'll give an order.

You follow it, Prospect?

Comprendi?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

What was that?

Other than he.

Yes, boss.

Good.

You know your brother Ranger was a good man.

Hell of a biker.

He knew his place.

And he gave his life to save mine when it came time to spill blood.

Maybe one day you'll be half the man he was.

Not like this.

Right now?

Right now you're a shitty fucking prospect.

So keep your mouth shut and do as I tell you.

Saddle up.

We're on the hunt.

We and the boys have checked nearby roads but there's no sign of those bikers.

Hopefully they just cleared out of town directly and that's the last of them.

What about those kids in that RV?

We'll keep an eye out for them.

You think they went up there to that old park area?

That's what they said.

God damn it.

That old park and that damn legend has caused a shit ton of trouble for this town.

I got three more stupid kids gone missing from last week.

No bodies.

Just poof!

Disappeared.

For Christ's sakes.

What the hell is the matter with people these days?

Just young and stupid.

Are we any better, Ross?

Maybe a little better, Sarah.

Look, I'll swing by and check on you tomorrow.

Good night.

Good night, Sheriff.

Man, this looks about right according to the

GPS, but I lost signal like 10 minutes ago.

Dude, you ain't reading it right.

Oh, fuck this!

We're stopping here for the night.

He's not finished yet.

Soon.

You'll have fun here forever.

And ever.

Soon.

You'll have fun, too.

Soon.

Cheers!

Cheers!

Yay!

What the S?

Did you not hear that?

Hear what?

The scream.

There's nobody for miles.

Yeah, come on.

Turn up the music.

Okay, well, I thought I heard someone scream.

There!

There!

There!

There it is again.

Oh, I think I heard something.

There's... Maybe someone's in trouble?

Damn it!

Look at you bunch of pussies.

Oh, I think I heard something!

Oh, I'm so scared!

I literally didn't say that.

What do you wanna do?

Go home?

Maybe... Do you really think something's out there?

They got you spooked, too?

Fucking great.

Oh, no!

The boogeyman's coming!

There's nothing out there!

It's the fucking woods!

What about those twins, Mark?

They can suck my twin dicks!

Twin dicks.

But, like, something did make that scream.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I know what it was.

It was a fisher cat.

A what?

A... Fisher cat!

What is a fish or a cat?

I heard of a catfish.

It's this big fucking cat.

Like a normal fucking cat.

But bigger.

And it lives in the woods, and it screams its balls off all fucking night.

That is such bullshit.

Look it up, sweet cheeks.

Yeah, I'm trying, but there's no signal.

Huh.

Yeah.

They didn't shoot you that shit in college, did they?

No.

See, I used to go hunting with my dad, and we'd hear it at night.

This fisher cat.

It sounds like a human getting stabbed.

Getting stabbed.

Only it's not a human, it's a fucking fisher cat!

Hey, Marky Mark, have you ever seen it in real person?

No.

How do you know it's real?

Because if I saw it, I would have shot it.

No one ever sees it.

It's nocturnal.

Which means, it only comes out at night.

I know what nocturnal is.

Good.

Because that's what it was.

I believe you, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just, it's just a big fucking cat, alright?

And it doesn't fuck with humans, so...

Just forget it!

Can we please listen to some music?

What do y'all wanna hear?

About some doji cat.

You motherfucker!

Good taco.

Thank you.

Fuck!

Mark!

Did you get one for me?

I was getting one for everybody.

I'll take mine now.

Thanks.

Okay.

So.

College life is crazy, is it safe?

You know, it's a lot of work.

I don't think you would like it.

You have a boyfriend?

Girlfriend.

Why do you care?

You're in love with Candy Cane, remember?

Yeah.

She loves me.

Wow.

I guess you guys have that in common.

Can I go now?

Wait, wait, wait a sec.

I wanna ask you something.

You ever think of me?

Like when we used to hang out and...

You know, talk by the football field.

Yeah.

Yeah, Mark, I do think about you.

Every time I've had too much to drink.

And I just wanna make myself throw up.

Yeah, you say that.

I think you missed me.

Didn't know you liked the rough stuff.

Fuck around and you can find out.

What the fuck is going on over here?

Nothing, babe.

Just, uh... You know, catching up on old times.

You know, I think Jamie's just a little jealous...

Of you and me and was... Trying to see if I was still interested.

Can you blame her?

Yeah, as if, Mark.

Touch my man again and I'll fuck you up.

Oh, he's all yours.

Hey.

Come on, babe.

Let's go break in the RV.

Daddy needs some TLC.

Very nice.

Get down, girl.

Come on.

Get down.

I love freedom.

Under love.

I don't want babies.

I'll make love on me.

Nommies to take.

Good.

Good luck.

Jack.

All day to look.

I got you under.

I'm wicked.

Wait, where are you going?

I was just gonna give you guys some alone time.

But it's like dark and stuff.

Plus that big cat is out there.

I think I'll live.

Say hello to the Territories.

Wait, Jamie.

I'll be careful.

I promise.

Yo.

Yo, go home.

Dude.

Really?

See?

This is why we lost to the valley.

Shit like that.

Huh?

Gonna bring that up again?

Yeah.

Yeah, well maybe if you got open, that wouldn't be a problem.

Yo!

Come check this out!

That old park, it's actually real.

It's so fucking cool, bruh.

And you found a baby.

Hey, we found it.

Everybody, line up.

No service.

I'll upload it later.

You know, Sarah, she told me that this place was real.

Yeah, maybe those twins are real too.

Yo, yo.

Over there.

That's right here, right here.

Baby, wait for me.

Relax, baby.

Ayo!

Check it out!

The death loop!

Baby, be careful.

Come down from there.

I'll be down in a minute.

Just... Let me get a shot.

Yo!

Yo!

Put up, satan's bottle!

Oh, man.

Something died in here.

Our main Effan is going to attempt the

impossible, and deny the Terra Twins they prize.

What?

You got this, man.

Ow!

Dude, there's fucking blades in here.

Huh?

What?

Huh?

Are you sure?

Careful!

Relax, babe.

I know what I'm doing.

It's just, uh...

Can you get down from there right now?

We have to go, like, right now.

I already told him he's gonna bust his ass.

And I said I'll get down when I'm ready.

No, I mean, it's really not safe here, and we gotta go, like, right now.

Hey, hey, hey.

Take it easy.

Come on.

Look, I found this camera, and someone fucking died!

Ain't that the idea?

A lot of kids probably bought it on this ride.

No, I mean, like, recently died.

I don't know.

That seems like some fake blood and shit.

It's probably just some stupid kids making a horror film.

No way.

And they just left their camera here?

This shit is real, and we should go.

Oh, wow, wow.

You find some old camera now you wanna run home?

Let me see that thing.

Shit!

Look, the battery's out, but I know what I saw, okay?

And we should all go.

Yeah, sure.

Nice try.

Trying to scare everyone.

You know what, Jamie?

You used to be a lot less uptight, but now you're a frickin' buzzkill.

Yeah, if you wanna go so bad, you should just start walking.

Guys, stop.

Seriously.

I saw something on there.

I mean, maybe this camera's for real.

So what?

What do you wanna do?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Maybe we should let somebody know.

Alright.

Hey, look.

How about this?

When we leave, we can take the camera to the cops.

Or the forest ranger.

Or whoever.

Alright?

Now, can we please get back to having fun?

I was just starting to dig this crazy ass place.

Fine.

Do what you want.

I'm going back to the RV.

Shit.

Shit.

Cut it out, Mark.

You're a fucking asshole.

You know that, right?

Ha-ha.

This is so funny.

Wow.

Let me go, you fucking asshole!

Get some shit together, man.

Hello, little lady.

Told you I'd be seeing you again.

Jamie, are you okay?

I'm just peachy.

Oh, everyone's good?

I'm glad.

Now, let's get back to that role in paradise of

yours, you can sign up with registration too.

I ain't giving you jack shit.

Hey, we'll call the cops.

Pretty boy, let me explain to you the facts of the light.

What's happening here is as natural as these woods.

There's no law here.

There's no anything here.

This...

This is purely an example of natural selection.

The strong survive over the weak.

That's just the way it is.

There's no shame in it.

None.

And in this case...

Natural selection favors me.

So, stick with me on this, because here's how the selected part is gonna work.

There's only two ways this can go down.

First way is... You give me that RV and we let you live.

You hitchhike home and, what, you get grounded for a few weeks, then daddy's

insurance money buys him a brand spanking new RV.

You, G.I.

Joe, and all the little fucking Malibu Barbies, you all get to live.

That's the first way.

Second way...

Well, you still give me the RV.

And we tie you to some weights and drop you in the swimming hole back there.

Nobody will find the bodies, but if they do, they'll

probably blame it on the Tear Twins ghost story.

But...

Let me make this as clear and plain as the nose on Barbie's pretty little face.

Either way you put it, I'm leaving with that RV.

Nod if you comprende what I'm saying.

So...

Which one is it gonna be?

Now that is the first intelligent thing you've asked all night.

And the answer is I ain't made up my mind yet.

That's bullshit.

You're not gonna let us go.

When is that so?

Yeah.

Because you can't be sure one of us is gonna go tell the cops.

Very good, little lady.

But that's where you come in.

Cause you see, you...

are coming with me.

No!

Oh, and uh, if anybody wants to go to the cops...

Well...

Let's just say little lady here is gonna get sliced and diced like a Sunday ham.

Well, let's move!

You know, you're making a big mistake, right?

There's something dangerous in these woods.

Yeah, me.

If I was you, I'd keep my mouth shut, cause your

girl's about to get a whole lot higher to climb.

You know, if you don't believe me, it's all here.

It's on this camera, just look at it.

Oh.

Please?

It's on this camera?

Yes.

Fuck this camera.

Now let's move.

God damn it.

Nobody else move.

Crank, go after her.

You too, shift.

I want her back alive.

Come on out now, little missy.

See, we got you now, little missy.

Napalm said bring you back alive, but that don't mean undamaged.

You led us into that trap.

I didn't do shit!

I tried to tell everyone that there's something out here, but no one cares,

and now we're all gonna know.

Oh, she's so sad.

Cause that's bullshit.

You killed our friend K.O., so now we, me and this idiot, we owe you some pain.

Please, sweet pain.

Please.

God, holy shit!

Oh my god!

You ready to have some pain?

You ready?

There it goes.

Let us go, you fucking psychopath!

Let me get out of here.

Fuck you up, man!

No,

no, no, no, no, boom!

Hey!

Shit, shit, go boom!

I get to go, right?

I win.

I get to go, right?

Cause I gotta stash some money, I can give

it, I can give it to you, you just let me go.

I can get you guys drugs, whatever you need, whatever you need, man!

I can get you guys... Come on, man.

I'll do...

Just, you know, just... I just...

You know what, fuck you!

I'll burn you in hell!

I'll burn you in hell!

Now, come out.

..

...wherever you are...

...wherever you...

...wherever you...

...sorry, he's not finished yet!

But soon...

...he will be.

And then... it's your turn.

The little rabbit looks like... Eva.

Looks like Eva.

Keep her forever.

Forever.

Child!

Chloe, my child.

Back away.

Don't look him in the eyes.

Eva.

Now slowly turn...

and we walk away.

Should you need them?

Yes.

They're kin.

But they're God's creatures now.

God or the devil.

Thank you.

No!

No!

Run, child.

Father, slide past the loop.

Take my last room.

No!

Out... In a void.

They were good boys...

Once.

God, you.

..

Shut up.

Get back over here.

Pronto.

I said, move.

What the fuck happened?

God, those assholes are pushing me through the woods so bad.

It made me fuck up my ankle.

James, I'm so sorry I got you into all of this.

It's okay, save it, save it, save it.

Oh, shit.

Man, that's... that's shift.

Brother Crank?

God damn it.

That's it, freaks!

I'm blown out, god damn it!

I ain't playing around!

Ow!

Alright, babe, look, stay right here.

I'm gonna grab the RV and be right back, alright?

Baby, I got you.

Go, baby, go!

Mary, get the deputies out here quick.

Alert, fire, and rescue.

Something just brewed sky high up in the woods out past Sarah's place.

By the old park?

Yeah, maybe.

Just get them on the move.

I'm on the way there.

Fuck this shit, I'm out of here.

Amen to that.

What are we gonna do now?

There's a safe way out.

Where?!

Sarah said that if we follow the Alpine Slide

past the Lube, we could take a service road out.

Well, let's go!

No, no, no, nobody's going anywhere.

They know a way out.

Those freaks wanna kill us, they gotta come get us.

And I'll be right here waiting for them.

We're the bait.

Yes, you are.

Bullshit.

I'm out.

You were never any good, Prospect.

Always riding your brother's coattails.

Well, I'm done right now.

Take one more step and I'll drop you like I dropped your fucking brother.

What?

He didn't die saving me.

I took him out.

You son of a bitch.

Ready or not?

Here we go!

God.

Guys, wait!

Like hell.

We're getting out of here.

Come on, Ken.

Sorry!

Kenny, come on!

Sorry!

This is some fucked up shit.

They're gonna pay for me.

Fucking assholes!

God!

God!

Jay, it's okay.

It's okay.

I know.

I know, I know, I know.

It's okay.

Lisa, we need to keep moving.

No, I can't.

Look, Jamal, I know he tried to save us, but he would want us to get out of here.

I don't.

You know we're gonna make it out, right?

The both of us?

Promise me you'll never leave me, no matter what.

Never?

Let's go.

Okay.

Yo, see?

That's a figure.

I told you.

Oh my God, are those people?

These are some sick fucks!

C'mon!

Babe!

Sorry, honey, this can't happen to me!

Wait!

Please?

I can make you feel good.

You know, like, like, feel...

Good?

Come on, boys.

Put that silly little thing down and... Let me show you a good time!

Good time?

That's right.

Let Candy show you a good time.

Candy!

Candy sweet!

Candy!

Candy sweet!

Candy!

Candy sweet!

Candy!

You guys killed Candy, you sick fucks!

Candy yum!

Had some fun!

Ah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Fuck you and fuck you twice, cause there's two of you!

No way!

I can't!

I can't!

I can't!

I gotta stop!

I can't get down this hill!

Okay.

Let's use the slide.

Oh, no.

We have to use the slide.

It's okay.

Anything beats walking.

Lisa, can you move?

Barely.

It's okay.

It's okay, come on.

Let's go.

It's okay.

Come on, come on.

I got you.

Go, go, go!

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

Spice!

What the fuck?

Get me out of here, you fucking freaks!

I will rip your fucking nicks off!

Let me out!

Now!

Come on!

Come on, let me out now!

No, no, no, no!

No!

No!

Wait, wait, wait a minute, stop.

I can't...

They're still after us.

We gotta go around that tank.

No.

We're going through it.

Damn it!

Help!

Lisa, just hold on!

Help!

Help!

Get me out of here!

Eva.

Yeah.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Okay.

It's okay.

Let me stay with you.

Eva.

Yeah.

It's okay, guys.

Let's... Let's go.

Emile!

I'm just peachy.

Take it!

Baby!

Take it!

Take it!

This is fine.

It's okay.

I'm in.

In a bizarre coda to our recent story about Otto and Emile von Metzger,

an anonymous video appeared online purporting to show the Terror twins in action.

Is it real?

Or just a clever fake?

You decide.