Original subtitles

This is Willis up here at the substation. There seems to be a problem

here. It must be that new radio station kicking in.

I'm gonna check it out.

Holy shit!

We're outside the modest studios of radio station KDUL, just about the last

place you'd expect to find America's most controversial rock and roll disc

jockey. But he's here, and this man hired him.

It all began when Vernon L. Locknut, KDUL's owner, discovered that his tiny

all-Polka station was actually authorized to broadcast nationwide on a

clear channel.

That's right, Lisa.

We broadcast over 666 kilohertz on the AM band.

Now, because of the superstition about the number 666, we're the only 666 in

the entire country. Thank you, Vernon. And so this morning, with a new 50,000

-watt transmitter installed and tested, Chief Engineer Corky Bradford threw the

switch, and Superstation 66 was on the air.

Signing on with a 66-hour marathon shift, Rock Radio's most notorious DJ,

Dangerous Dan O'Dare, returns to the airwaves after a six-month suspension by

the FCC.

Hmm. Lisa, I've got my radio here tuned to Superstation 66, and listen to this.

I thought Dan O'Dare was a rock and roller.

Well, what you're listening to is a typical Dan O'Dare stunt.

Oh, how the lady just loves to be her boy.

Look, folks, come on. You're in Pocahela, and I'm in Pocahela, but I'm

not changing this record until someone guesses the right number. So please,

ladies and gentlemen, pick up your phone, and let's get some rock and roll

going here.

Somebody please.

This stuff is killing me.

Dan, try 8 to the right, 2 to the left, 14 to the right.

No, no, no, no.

Come on, people. Lisa What's-Her-Face is here for my big interview, and the way

these chains are wrapped between my legs is making her microphone throb.

Hi, Dan.

Seven right, 25 left, 30 right.

No.

No, it doesn't work.

People, I'm trying to give away...

A Tsuki on the off-road convertible for 20 hours. I've been chained to the wall.

Just three numbers is all I need. Just three numbers. Give me three numbers!

Chains, huh?

Not a bad gimmick. Dan O'Dare, welcome to Day and Night with Flip Humble.

Thanks, Flip. Welcome to Poker Hell.

What happens if no one guesses the combination?

I'll die in these chains before I take them off this poker record.

We'll keep playing till the bitter end.

But don't worry, Flip. I'm sure some moron out there will get it.

I'm gonna win that convertible.

Peanut! If you don't turn off that stupid polka music, I'm gonna go bug

-eyed crazy.

Guess the combination.

Free Dan O'Dare from polka hell.

Ritz! Why don't you get a haircut?

Hey, good buddy.

This is Peanut over at Peanut's truck stop, open 24 hours, just like you.

Peanut, what are you doing, a commercial? Turn down your radio.

Thank you.

Now give me a combination.

16 right, 4 left, 38 right.

No, sorry, Peanut. We're still locked in here.

Look, people, I have time for just a few more local calls.

Dan, your last job in radio got you in a lot of trouble.

What on earth were you thinking when you broadcast that live sexual encounter

between yourself and the KLSO's drive-time traffic reporter, Police

Sergeant Holliday?

I told the FCC, Flip, it was an accident.

A rear ender, as I recall.

Bumper to bumper, Flip.

Just a little shoulder work on the sergeant, and she rolled over and hit

the on-air switch, and the rest is radio history, Flip.

Excuse me a minute, Flip. I better take a few more calls.

Morning. Your colleagues are being very patient here, practicing after hours to

help you get your part down. The least you could do is give us your undivided

attention. Just a minute, Mr. Baker. This is really important.

Hello? Dad?

This is Bonnie Bonner of the Pahuta Panthers.

You sound like a real airhead, Bonnie.

Can you give me three numbers, Bunny?

How about 36, 22, 34?

You sound more interesting than I thought there, Bunny.

But no.

No, Suki, I'm a convertible for you, Bunny.

Sorry.

Give me three numbers.

Me? Yeah, yeah, you. Why not?

Well, for some reason the numbers are a one and a two and a three.

come to mind.

One, two, three.

I don't believe this.

It opened.

One, two, three. Why didn't anybody think of that before?

You mean I win the car?

Hold your calls, everybody.

Taking off the restraints now.

I'm no longer chained to the wall.

I can reach.

The old K-G-U-L-A-M turntable where the last polka recording on earth was

playing non-stop for 20 hours and 14 minutes.

Ladies and gentlemen, you'll never hear

another tuba horn on this frequency again.

Cable world and network star Flip Humble did it. The Alpulka format of K-D-U-L-A

-M is dead.

Dangerous Dan O'Dare is on the loose.

Superstation 66 is on the air!

Well,

this turned out to be a lucky interview for you, Flip.

Yeah, pretty amazing, huh?

But, of course, knowing you as I do, you'll probably want to donate that car

to charity to avoid any appearance of impropriety.

Time to cut to the news, Lisa.

In our late, late segment, tonight we're going to spend a half hour with Dan

O'Dea as he continues his marathon.

Right now, here's Katrinka Shinkalova with World News Update.

The rush of UFO sightings in California is due to weather balloons, according to

U.S. Department of Defense.

Great moment in TV history, huh?

You may think so, Mr.

Locknut, but I am calling the head of programming at CWN because I think he

needs to know about this scam.

Scam? What scam?

Lisa, I'll be back in a half an hour with a burger.

Three cheeseburgers and a diet, okay?

My daughter.

I knew there was an angle behind this when I got this assignment.

This is the sleaziest piece of reverse pale I've ever seen.

They all know what pale. Oh, come on, you know what I'm talking about. No, I

don't. Yes, you do. No, I don't. Yes, you do.

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

Keep that tuner at 66, baby. The only place

on the dial where you'll hear... The Dangerous Dan O'Dare Show.

The only place where we absolutely...

guarantee you'll never hear another polka on this frequency take a little

break ladies and gentlemen i gotta go see a man about a dog how about six hits

in a row on superstation 66.

i assure you miss cummings that is not the way we operate here at k-doll am

well i assure you that that is not the way it appears hey what's going on you

guys well she was going to tell me that you bribed flip humble to promote this

stupid marathon on cwn you rigged the contest ah

lisa wait hey where you going lisa wait

lisa

Come on, listen.

Look, nobody's going to be shocked by anything you do, Mr.

O'Dare. But I have my own reputation, my own ethics. I will not allow myself to

be implicated in this patently dishonest promotion.

You think I wanted Flip to win that car?

The change in polka stick was good for another 24 hours.

Look, I've...

I've done some stupid things. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.

And that's why I'm out here in the middle of nowhere.

But this is not one chance to start over.

I'm not going to blow that for Flip Humble or anybody.

Well, if you and Flip are up to something shady, at least it backfired

on you.

So the late, late interview's still on?

But if I find out this contest was rigged, I'm going straight to the FCC.

May lightning strike me if I'm lying.

It's incredible.

What? Come on, over there.

It was like spinning colored lights coming down right over you.

It's gone.

What's gone?

The UFO.

We just got buzzed by a UFO.

No. I gotta get my camera. Maybe it was some Air Force deal or something. Oh

yeah, Air Force from another planet.

oh jesus this is great a real story i'm right in the middle of it yes

what are you doing here

is there something wrong sheriff lisa cummings cwn news

sheriff it's a ufo i saw it with my own two eyes

What do you like there? We've got a UFO right here in Pahuta.

And I'm sure you have a witness for this.

Right here?

Sheriff, this is my star personality, and he's got to get back inside and on

the air.

And you saw this UFO?

No, not me.

What?

You were standing right next to me. I'm sorry, I didn't see you. Yes, he did.

Now this comes.

I hope that you'll be as responsible as this gentleman.

It won't start spreading rumors and creating a panic.

As responsible as Bumper to Bumper O'Dare?

Sheriff Pickman, you read me?

We got some kind of trouble out at the substation. Why did you say you didn't

see it? Because I didn't. Besides, I don't believe in UFOs. Sounds like a lot

of people are seeing things tonight.

I'm by the substation now. I'll go check it out.

Sheriff, I know it sounds crazy, but I could take you to this spot.

Why don't you just stay here on this little spot?

And you watch those UFOs. I got work to do.

Oh, and Vernon.

I'm gonna be really ticked off if I find this is just a publicity stunt.

Hey, hey, hey!

Lisa, wait.

What about my 30-minute interview?

I'm gonna miss the biggest story in history to do a puff piece on a DJ?

Maybe you can buy Flip Humble with a card, Dan, but you can't buy me at any

price.

Okay. All right.

So I promised Flip a card to get on the program. But there's a reason. Why

didn't you say so? There's a reason. How dare you let me... Can I tell you the

reason? Oh, please do.

Because... Not for ratings. It was because... It was because...

He promised to send you.

And I wanted to meet you.

That is such a load of crap.

And with everything I've ever heard about you, I consider that an insult.

Okay.

We need your stupid cable network anyway. I'm going to give you a lesson

in the power of radio, lady.

By the time this is over, you're going to be begging me for an interview.

Would you hurry up? Come on now. We got a show to do.

Let's go.

Dan O'Dare back with you in all-new Clear Channel Superstation 66, and I

gotta tell you, it sure feels good to be out of those chains, but hey, don't you

miss that, Polka?

Let's take some calls on our national phone line.

You're on Superstation 66.

Yeah, Dan, did that cable TV jerk really win the car?

What a coincidence, huh?

On live TV, right there in front of everybody.

Looked a little bogus to me. Yeah.

Well, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

Where you calling from? Marshall, Texas.

What time's that interview on CWN tonight, Dan? I want Flip to make me

believe that deal wasn't rigged. Another conspiracy theorist.

Did Flip Humble win that car fair and square?

Was Flip Humble the second gunman in the grassy knoll? Did Flip Humble sabotage

Buddy Holly's plane? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to tell you that

that live 30-minute interview on the late, late segment of Flip Humble's show

has suddenly been...

pre-empted. Miss Cummings suddenly decided that she had some late breaking

news to cover and cancelled the interview and wait until you hear what

the breaking news is.

She saw a UFO.

You who?

Risa.

Risa Cummings.

If you're listening to the Dan or Chan show, I want to remind you of ancient

Chinese proverb.

Woman who chase after little glean men have to settle for little glean

pecker.

God, that was funny. That was funny, Dan O'Dare.

I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't.

I couldn't tell what it was. It was so bright.

Don't let him take me away.

It was so bright I couldn't see.

All I saw was this light. Oh, my God. What happened?

Something or someone assaulted Willis.

It poked me with some kind of rod or something. It was weird.

Lights, noise.

Flying saucer.

Mr. Cummings, will you get that camera out of here? I'm sorry, Sheriff. The

public has a right to hear this story.

Well, the public will just have to wait until after my investigation.

All right, but don't forget, I saw this too. I'm not just an outsider here,

Sheriff. I saw it too.

Willis, when all this happened, before you went unconscious, did this person or

thing or whatever it was...

Did he bang you on the head?

It didn't bang me on the head, I told you.

It poked me with some kind of rod or something right there in my chest.

Where's that guy with my burgers?

My cheeseburgers.

Where's my diet?

You cannot do this, Dan.

It is not a good idea to pick a fight with Flip Bumble and the whole gosh darn

Cable World Network. Flip Schmip. Are you kidding me?

Look at these phone lines.

I'm going to build the rest of the marathon around it.

Want some?

I'm going out for a few hours. Do me a favor and make sure he doesn't say

anything that puts me into a lawsuit.

Hey, I'm an engineer, not an attorney.

I got three cheeseburgers here with lettuce and tomato. You want one? No.

Lettuce and tomato are far too healthy.

I'm all set.

Great. I'll take care of them.

Be careful, American.

You're listening to Dangerous Dan O'Dare on Superstation 66.

Dan, this is Peanut again.

Listen, this might sound a little kooky, but there's two truckers in here that

swear they saw a flying saucer circling over Pahuta tonight.

The entire populace of Pahuta is out there tonight, ladies and gentlemen. We

got truckers seeing UFOs.

Bunny's boyfriend, the entire Pahuta football team, fell a UFO.

And CW wins.

Huffy's correspondent, the distinguished Lisa Cummings, she's out there with his

Royal Majesty Sheriff Earl Hickman. They've not only seen a UFO, why,

they're chasing one.

But it doesn't surprise me, Quirky, because I always knew that the first

place that visitors from another planet would want to hit when they finally got

to Earth would be... Ho-Huda, home of...

Superfication!

The hell's going on? Oh, hey, it's an earthquake or something.

Holy shit.

Don't panic. I'll fix it.

Shit.

We're on the air.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're experiencing some technical difficulties.

Please. Stand by.

Okay.

I got it.

I got it under control.

Nothing but the best for earning out a lock nut.

Quirk.

Jesus, what?

What the hell?

Hey, pal, this is private property, and you're gonna have to pay for that door.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you can still hear me.

There's something very strange happening down here at our Super Station Studios.

And if this is a joke, I can tell you we don't think it's very funny. Yeah, it's

not very funny. There's something quirky. What do you want me to do? I

don't know. Hit it with something.

Mr. Locknet is going to shoot.

Oh, my God. Look at that. Look at that. A real-life robot.

Somebody call the cops.

Call the cops.

I don't know what's going on. That's exactly what I'm trying to find out, for

God's sake.

Just get off my back, will you, Flip? I'm at the hospital and I'm going in.

Don't get away from me.

Damn it.

Moon has disappeared.

All by myself here working on what could be the biggest story in history, Flip.

Send me another crew before the networks get here and blow us out of the water.

Lisa, come on. If you want to keep your job, you'll find Moon and be ready with

a live interview for the morning segment.

The girl hit me once. We need assistance.

911! Help!

Look at that thing! It looks like some kind of weapon.

He's raising it.

Pointing it at us.

What are you doing here? I'm sorry.

Excuse me. It's important.

I just need to listen to this.

Ladies and gentlemen, I know this sounds crazy, but the Super Station Studios

have been taken over by creatures from another planet.

That doesn't sound better right now than some sirens. Come on, you guys. We need

some help in here, man.

The big one's got a space suit.

I like this big, bumpy head.

This looks like a turd with a porthole window.

There's this little rusty robot.

I can see his brain, man.

Ricky and I are going to go in for a better look.

The big one.

The big one's putting something on the console.

It looks like... It looks like a bomb!

Can you believe this guy would have made it?

Well,

we'll have to run some tests to be sure, but...

It looks like the nastiest case of tinea cruris I've ever seen.

Tinea cruris?

Mm-hmm.

Commonly known as jock itch.

Doctor, give me a call when you get the results, and be careful about what you

say. There's some reporter from Cable World News hanging around here. Whatever

you do, don't let her get near Willis.

When can I interview Willis, Sheriff?

He's under sedation. What about reports of other sightings? We'll check on

everything in due time.

Right now, I'm going home to bed.

Sheriff!

Sheriff!

Okay, look, Sheriff.

Off the record!

Is there anything else you can tell me? Right now, I'm operating under the

theory that someone's having fun at the public's expense.

But I saw it.

Lights. Just lights, Miss Cummings. Weird lights in the sky doesn't mean

we're being invaded by flying saucers.

But my cameraman has disappeared. What about him?

He's got any sense?

He's checked himself into a motel, which is exactly what I suggest you do.

I'm not leaving here until I get that interview with Willis, Sheriff.

Suit yourself.

but when you find out what his problem is i think you're going to be

disappointed

Jesus Christ.

Look what they've done to my studio.

My transmitter.

It's burning up, but I can't turn it off.

I don't know if we're still in the air, but everything's in the studio. All the

equipment, everything's covered in this weird green fungus-type stuff in

that door.

The door's covered in fungus. Corky and I are locked in here. We can't get out.

The alien and the robot are just a few feet away.

They're totally preoccupied with some weird equipment that they have with

them.

Just a minute ago, they zapped me and Corky.

Now they're totally ignoring us.

I'm going to try and contact the outside world.

Oh, thank God the phone's working.

Hey, great show, Dan.

Can you hear me?

We're still in the air?

Talk to him. Tell him we need help.

Okay, well, listen.

This isn't a show anymore, okay? We desperately need help here. Not much I

can do for you in Nebraska, Dan, but if you're free on Saturday night, I'd cheer

you on. Hello?

Hello?

They don't believe me.

They think this is just a big joke. Oh, come on.

I can't even get a line out to call 911.

Corky.

Corky, you talk to them. They don't believe me. Maybe they'll believe you.

Hello. Hello out there.

This is Corky Bradford, the chief engineer at KDULF. It's Mayday, Mayday.

Where is someone here, folks?

Father Clannigan, if you're listening, I promise I'm not lying this time.

I'll never drink another beer. I'll never look at another girly magazine,

Corky. Corky, wait.

What are they doing?

This son of a bitch is crazier than a tree full of owls.

The big one was just punishing the robot.

Hey, whatever they're doing, it's intense.

I'm going for a closer look.

for the truth, standing on a ship of fools.

Simpsons tossed on a sea of lies.

Who's making up these rules?

A false promise, a dirty deal.

You'll do anything for power.

Watch your color for everything real in your every time.

Hey, what's going on?

Stab you in the back.

They only want to hide the truth and take you deeper into hope.

You better look before you leave because you can't trust a soul.

Well, they never believe you.

They just want to...

Just don't get taken for-

It's a fly, it's a fly, it's a

fly

Yeah.

In a jar.

A 12-inch tall girl in a jar.

She just called my name.

People,

people, you've got to believe me. I know this sounds crazy, but I swear to God,

it's true.

You've got to hear this DJ on the new radio station, Dr. Payne.

Tell them what you see. Tell them what you see so they believe us.

It's a chip, man.

It's a chick in a bottle. But it's not like any bottle I've ever seen.

It's like the bottle is part of some kind of fun. This is the guy doing the

marathon and train.

He got out of the chains. Now he's being held hostage by an alien from another

planet. I can see the apparatus.

I can see the girl. She looks real.

He's looking at her as if she's some kind of a pet.

My God, Dan, that's Cookie from Peanut's Truck Stop.

He's from Cookie.

I'm getting out of here. No, Cookie.

Help.

Let me out of here. Let me out of here. Let me out. Let me out of here.

Somebody open the door.

Help. Help.

Cookie.

Get away.

Get away.

Get away.

No, Sparky!

I have to

speak again.

This is wild, isn't it? You guys are nuts.

Get me another swab, would you please?

What is it? The fungus!

It's reacting to the radio.

Oh, my God.

All right, Peanut, what is going on here?

It's Cookie, Sheriff.

She disappeared.

You mean like she ran off, like with a trucker or something?

No, she disappeared.

Poof, just like that.

One minute she's in there dancing around like a crazy go-go girl or something,

and then the next minute she just vanishes.

Next thing we know, this crazy DJ on the radio is saying he's got her over there

in some glass bubble or something.

Peanut, if you believe a word that guy says, then you're a bigger nut than I

thought you were.

Sheriff Hickman?

Sheriff,

you got a code 11 at Bermuda County Hospital.

This is Sheriff Earl Hickman. What is the problem over there?

Dr. Payne called. He said something about a fungus coming out of his radio.

I'm heading there now.

You locate Mr. Vernon L. Locknut and tell him to get his... butt over to the

station right away.

They've caused about all the trouble I'm going to put up with.

I didn't know Corky Bradford all that well.

We just met the other day when I showed up here to do this marathon.

Seems like a long time ago.

A little while ago, Corky fought with the aliens trying

to rescue a 12-inch girl from a glass...

bubble recognized there was a waitress from the local truck stop quirky

bradford tried to save that girl the aliens killed him with

electrical shock then covered him in a hairy green fungus

quirky bradford died a hero i

don't expect to die a hero

I don't expect to get out of this situation either.

Pretty soon the aliens are going to start to play that music again.

I have this funny feeling that whatever it is they're doing with that strange

equipment has something to do with tuning in to the people that are

listening to the station.

I think it would be a good idea if everybody turned off their radios.

I want you to stop listening to Clear Channel Superstation 66.

Stop listening?

Oh my lord, what have you gone nuts?

I love your show, Dan.

It's really awesome.

Awesome?

Damn it, Bunny, you've got to believe me. Turn off your radio.

Why would I do a thing like that?

Because... Bunny, what are you wearing?

My favorite black mini and the paisley top my boyfriend gave me for my

birthday.

Bunny, are you in a gym or something?

Because the aliens have you in their sights, Bunny. They're about to snatch

you through the air and shrink you into a glass bubble, Bunny. Turn off your

radio before it's too late!

of someone here in my

bed.

It feels so real.

It nearly drove me insane.

My body stiffens.

Touching myself again.

Touching myself again.

Hoping she'll be my friend.

I'm just touching myself up.

I'm just touching myself up, yeah.

Touching myself up, yeah.

Hoping she'll be my friend.

I'm just touching myself up, yeah.

Here I come now.

Oh, let me know.

Oh, here I come.

my head.

It's incredible.

The fungus is actually responding to the sounds coming from this new superstation

on the radio. Up now, Miss Cummings.

A

final item

in the news this morning.

Those UFO sightings in California appear to be linked to a publicity stunt.

has done that federal authorities are now investigating flip humble will have

more on this i am katrinka shinkalova good morning and welcome to the morning

edition of day and night with flip humble everybody's talking about dan

o'dare the superstation 66 dj who's got the nation rolling in the aisles with

his non-stop marathon ufo hostage monologue cwn's lisa cummings is live on

the scene

What's going on now, Lisa? Well, Flip, we are live outside the studios, and if

I'm not always properly framed in the picture, that's because somehow last

night in this mysterious set of events unfolding here in Bermuda, California,

my cameraman, Moon Hashimoto, has disappeared.

And the situation here at Superstation 66 is growing more chaotic with each

moment. And strangely enough, some of the wild, crazy things that Dan O'Dare

is saying are actually happening.

UFO sightings, strange, fast-growing mold or fungus-like matter, and

the baffling disappearance of local women.

Something's going on here in Pahuta Flip, and it is no laughing matter.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute, Lisa.

Are you saying you believe all this UFO nonsense?

Let's just say maybe so.

I mean, excuse me. Sheriff Earl Hickman here, Flip.

Now, what we've got here is a hostage situation, pure and simple. We believe

Dan O'Dare has got one, maybe three people held up in there against their

will. Look, this all started out as a silly publicity stunt, and it's gotten

totally out of control. But I guarantee you we're here to make sure we get it

back into control. You've got to help me out here, please. We've got to do

something, Sheriff. Let's go. He's gone completely bonkers.

He's going to ruin me. What about Cookie?

Get out of here. I'm telling you that the FCC is threatening to revoke my

license. How's it going?

It's no use, Sheriff. Screen stuff seals up as fast as I can cut it.

There's got to be some other way in. What about a trap door or a skylight or

something? No, nothing. You're going to have to break down the door, Sheriff.

Okay, boys.

Bring in the battering ring.

Oh, wait a minute.

Something's happening outside the door.

Oh, my God. I might finally be getting some help here.

Oh, wait a minute. The aliens are on to it. If who's ever outside the door can

hear me, don't come in right now.

Don't come in. Don't come in the door. If you come in the door right now, you

will be killed.

That does it. He's broadcasting death threats.

What? How's that door coming?

Giving it hell, Sheriff.

Look out!

How far away is Pahuta?

Why?

Do you want to go there?

Lisa Cummings has lost her objectivity, if not her mind.

I want to be there when they drag Dan O'Dare out of that studio.

You could make it for the late, late segment, but... Do you think it's worth

it? Worth it?

That lunatic owes me a Tsukiyama convertible.

I'm getting the keys to that sucker before they throw his ass in jail.

Moving in for a closer look.

There must be some way to free these captive women.

Shit.

People, they're getting ready to do it again.

Turn off your radios, people. They're doing it again.

Focus somehow enables them to see people who are listening to this frequency.

I'm looking directly into the viewfinder right now and I see a girl.

A very, very pretty girl. You're a nurse or something, right? You're listening to

me, aren't you?

You will turn off your radio.

Don't you understand? They tune in on girls who are listening to the danger

men.

Reflecting beautiful women of Clear Channel 66.

Turn off your radio!

Turn it off now before it's too late!

Hi, kids. It's the Captain Happy Show. Sorry, me, Captain Happy.

Let me get out my magic mirror.

I see Bobby. I see Susie. I see Billy.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy there, so happy here, so happy are you, happy too. I'm so happy

there, so happy, wouldn't you like to be happy too?

He's so happy, she's so happy, we're so happy, are you happy too? I'm so happy

there, so happy, wouldn't you like to be happy too?

Ah!

Dirty lights all in the air, great big flowers are everywhere.

I love to pick them every day, arrange and put them on display.

I will!

I skip, I jump, I plant my little feet. They begin to dance, happily sitting in

a tree. They're friendly, I will heal. What's that mean?

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy and full of joy.

I'm lying.

It really sucks.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

I really am.

I'm so happy.

Bunny?

They've got bunny in there.

Clear channel or not, there'll be no more rock and roll on Superstation 66.

We've got to get the line in there. We're working on it. Well, what's taking

so long, gosh darn it? We're getting 10,000 calls an hour here, Mr. Locknett.

Oh, my Lord.

Sheriff, my nurse disappeared, just like the other one.

Hey, wait a second. Doctor.

Let's go, Sheriff. Let's break down that door. Cool off, Peanut.

My God.

This is the same fungus.

Its growth accelerates when exposed to the sound of the station.

Vernon, were you storing any toxic chemicals in the studio?

10,000 calls an hour?

Pull the plug on the station, Sheriff. Cut the power right now.

What do you mean, pull the plug? You can't do that. Not with those

demographics. This is going to be the highest rated radio show in history.

Who cares about your ratings?

This is real, Sheriff. This is really happening.

Ms. Cummings.

Don't start on that again.

Dan O'Dare, this is Sheriff Hickman.

I'm going to give you one last chance, son.

Exit the studio with your hands up.

Yeah, I hear you, Sheriff.

Glad you're out there.

I hope you got the Marines with you, buddy, because I've given it a lot of

thought.

Not much anybody can do.

Me or the ladies.

or history but there is something you can do to make sure that this never

happens to anybody else again destroy it blow the

kdul studio superstation 66 off the face of the earth i'm gonna make

one final plea to the people who have the phone lines jammed

to please hang up your phones

This is Roger.

Wow, I can't believe I finally got through.

I've been on hold forever.

Get off my phone, Roger.

Your show is really the funniest show I've ever heard.

Fuck yourself, Roger.

The F word, I'm ruined.

I didn't know you could say that on the radio. Nothing else I say is doing any

good. So maybe if I use some good old-fashioned obscenity, you know, some

of the...

Some of the four-letter babies that can be used as a noun or a verb that maybe

in the White House will send a couple of them stealth bombers because that's what

it's going to take to stop these creatures.

Can you hear me out there, you fucking morons?

I think we're witnessing a complete mental breakdown here.

Mr. Locknut or Dan O'Dare?

Take us off the air! Cut the power!

Do something, you dickheads!

Dickheads? Great!

Shut up! Just shut up, for God's sake! Just shut up!

It's too bad about the girls.

What kind of lives would they have had anyway?

I think she's tall.

Models for Barbie dolls?

It's too late for me, too.

I've been infected with the alien fungus.

I'm gonna go look for a weapon.

Make one final try for freedom.

Hold the presses, ladies and gentlemen. There's something happening here, and it

might be good news for the danger man.

Just sprayed the alien fungus with germasol.

It's receding.

I'm going to try some of this on Quirky.

See if I can spring him from this fungus cocoon.

This is amazing, people.

The germasol is killing the alien fungus.

Eat this, squirrel head.

Ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to Station

66, where dangerous Dan O'Dare is now killing the aliens!

Looks like the danger man spoke a little too soon.

Okay. All right, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Okay, all right.

What?

What?

This?

What? You want me to speak?

You want me to speak? All right, I'm speaking.

I'm speaking. I'm speaking, okay?

I'm speaking. I'm speaking. Hello.

I'm glad to get ready to snatch another girl.

I can see the people outside the KDUL studios.

Lisa.

Lisa, I see Lisa Cummings. Lisa, I'm sorry. You were right.

Lisa, don't let... Oh, wait a minute.

I'm seeing something here.

When I speak, I can see you all loud and clear.

But when I let our signal fade, images fade.

Aliens are using my voice to aim their machinery.

Sorry.

That's Lisa Cummings!

Miss Cummings? Can I have your autograph?

Hey, Miss Lisa got some goofy looking guy instead.

Just blew up his own robot.

Man, this dude is fucked!

What's it like in there?

What happened?

Funny.

The process is reversible.

They said they're doing it again.

They said they're going after you.

Now where the heck is Lisa Cummings? She's inside, sir.

She made it in?

Dynamite! Hey, see if you can pick up her feet.

Flip Humble coming to you live outside the Superstation 66 studios, where the

dangerous Dan O'Dare Marathon is coming to an exciting end. As law enforcement

authorities are poised to storm the building, CWN reporter Lisa Cummings

gives us this live report from inside the studio.

Lisa?

What the hell is this?

This she calls a transmission?

Take the germasol and spray that scumbag.

People we're spraying the door now move away from the door

The publicity stunt which got out of hand here, Superstation 66, is rapidly

drawing to a close. The hostages are free and safe. Using some kind of

explosive device which was just detonated moments ago, authorities have

finally taken control over the Superstation studio.

Son? What? You are under arrest.

Sheriff,

would you just look in there?

Lord, what a mess!

I can see Dan O'Dare now as well as CWN field reporter Lisa Cummings. Lisa, Dan,

over here.

Fit Bumble, CWN News.

Lisa, another job well done. And as usual, CWN is first on the scene.

What exactly happened in there?

Well, you will be glad to know that I got it all on tape.

All you have to do is figure out...

Dangerous Dan O'Dea, the bad boy of rock and roll.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Get that fucking mic out of my face, Flip.

Where's Bunny?

Let's do it!

THIS IS THE COOL THOUGHT MAKES COOL MOVE THE DUDE IS DOPE AND HE'S LOOKING SMOOTH

BURN HIS WITHER A BUSKIN' A THOUSAND WATCH AND THE BASE IS A BUMPIN' HARD TO

THE BEAT OF THE STREET COOL GETS OUT OF HIS SEAT AND SHUTTLE HIS FEET AND IF

YOU'RE IN THE WAY YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY MR.

COOL HE'S MR. COOL AND NOBODY'S TRUE HE'S MR.

COOL

He spins around with a mighty thrust. He hits the ground. All the girlies laugh.

Yo, Kool's got style. He can do anything.

He's a party king.

He thinks he's cool. I think he's lame. His ego feeds off local fame. Big talk

and jerks, they're all the same.

Yeah.

Mr. Kool.

He's Mr. Kool and nobody's fool.

It's Mr.

Kool.

Mr. Cool!

He's Mr.

Cool and nobody's fool!

He's Mr.

Cool!

Do it like it is!

People getting wise!

See through his lies!

Lying in the street!

Like a piece of meat!

Nothing in this hell!

Take it out!

Mr. Cool.

He's Mr.

Cool and nobody's fool.

He's Mr.

Cool.

Mr. Cool.

He's Mr. Cool and nobody's fool.

He's Mr.

Cool.