Original subtitles

tell me

Are you hurt? No.

Is he alright?

They're not too deep.

I don't think he's gonna make it.

Bobby, you can't do that!

Cody, somebody's gotta claim on this!

Watch me!

It's the worst kind of hooliganism and I won't stand for it.

I understand.

It ain't right, Teaspoon. And I demand full restitution for this wanton

disregard of property, and that's all there is to it. Well, I'll do it again

the next time, too. How dare you? Now, take it easy, Mr.

Drummond. You'll be reimbursed. I promise you I'll take it out of Boris'

paycheck myself.

The hell you will, Teaspoon!

That wire ain't nothing but the devil's handiwork, and it's carving up the whole

prairie like some old lady fencing off her backyard.

Cody!

The whole world is going to hell, Teaspoon, just like Hezekiah said.

Cody, I know how hard you took Hezekiah's death, but you've got to

leave that behind you, son. I tried.

But ever since his death, Teaspoon, I can't help but see life through his

eyes. Then you'll be looking at life through the eyes of a man who gave up on

it long before he took his own.

I don't know what else to do.

I mean, I've never been this sad and angry all rolled up into one.

Tell you what you do, son.

You got a long ride ahead.

Why don't you let the majesty of the plains remind you what a precious thing

life really is.

Then when you get to St. Joe, take your time coming back.

You have yourself a little holiday.

Some holiday You

okay?

I'll be fine

That's

the precious cargo that almost got killed over This mail is damn precious

to the people who sent it, Cody.

You ought to know that.

Yeah, right.

What's that?

That's our latest service.

Russell Majors and Wondellas, the one building the telegraph?

We're just taking advantage of it.

Yeah, and stabbing the Pony Express right in the back.

We all got to change with the times.

Progress.

Now, don't worry.

It'll take years for the telegraph to creep all the way west.

Unless, of course, there's war.

Why is that?

Well, when men start killing, they usually get wonderful advantage.

When it's the Pony Express, they're gonna be killing.

Excuse me, old-timer. You know where I can get some bandages?

Time to get some bandages here, please.

Timmy, is that you? Hey there, Cody.

Hey, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. Whoa, what happened to you?

I ran into some Cheyenne on my last run.

What the hell are you doing here?

Ain't no more express in these parts. I didn't cut all the short routes I was

riding.

What?

Telegraph.

Finished stringing the lines two months ago.

Lurkin's the only employment I could find.

Boy, we ain't got all day.

Will you take care, all right? Yeah. Good to see you.

Yeah.

Can I help you?

You buying or looking?

Because if you're looking, try outside.

There's more to see.

I'm buying.

Let me get some of that there.

He was a nice kid when I knew him. A great showman.

It's the best shot I ever seen. A great showman. He was a nice kid when I knew

him.

Who the hell are you?

Just consider me the hand of the Lord.

Well, one minute I was pouring down that red eye, and next thing I knew,

I was upside down in that alley.

That's the whole story.

Not quite the whole story.

Excuse me?

You don't strike me as a wastrel, Mr. Cody.

Something pretty powerful must have driven you to dive so deep into that

bottle.

Well, a close friend of mine died, Mr. Poole.

A great man.

named Hezekiah Horn.

Hezekiah Horn is dead?

Yes, by his own hand.

Why?

He shot and killed his only son. Dear God.

But that weren't the only reason.

He was eaten up by the way our country's going to ruin, and that he was powerless

to do anything about it.

Tragic end to a great man.

Yes.

He was a great man.

Though... I have to be honest with you, Mr. Cody. I don't share in the same

despair that Hezekiah must have felt at his end.

These are challenging times, and I feel obliged that... Good men should rise up

and overcome these powerful influences that are so hell-bent on destroying this

beautiful land of ours.

You're gone and launched into a sermon in the middle of your dinner.

Forgive me, Mr. Cody.

Perhaps I should be saving all this hot air for tomorrow afternoon.

What's tomorrow afternoon?

I'm going to be speaking over Blanchard Falls.

Come by if you're so inclined.

It might be of interest to you.

Thank you. Maybe I will.

Get a good rest.

I wish I could repay your kindness, but I've lost all my money.

There's no need.

Your acquaintance is repayment in full.

And as I look down on this happy couple here today, I'd like to offer a few

personal reflections on the hallowed institution of marriage.

with which I am so very familiar, having traveled down that sacred road on six

occasions myself.

And yes, though I am loath to admit that none of those heavenly bonds took root,

I beseech you not to lose faith, but to take heart.

For if nothing else, the odds are on our side that this will turn out good.

Amen. And so do you, Millicent Irma Gardo. Take this man, Barnett Hamilton,

to be your lawfully wedded husband.

I do.

And do you, Barnett Hamilton, take this woman, Millicent Irma Gardowan, to be

your lawfully wedded wife?

I... I do. Do.

Good.

And so, by the power vested in me by the territorial governor, I now pronounce

you man.

Kiss the bride, Barnett.

These two can't get hitched. That's my wife.

I saw a new Jerusalem coming down from

God out of heaven, prepared as a bride.

great voice coming out of heaven from God saying, behold, the tabernacle of

God is with men and he shall dwell with them and be their God.

God shall wipe away all the tears from their eyes.

Amen.

And there shall be no more death.

That's right. No sorrow, no crying, nor shall there be any more pain.

You tell it, brother. For the former things are washed away.

That's right.

Yes. Yes, brother.

But for the fearful and the unbelieving and

the abominable and the whoremongers and the murderers and the idolaters and all

the liars, for they shall have their place in the lake that burneth with fire

and brimstone. And with mercy in my left hand.

with justice in my right, I shall be his terrible swift sword of

righteousness!

Finally, I summoned my courage and asked her to be my missus. She accepted.

We exchanged vows.

We lived together as the most contented husband and wife in the territory until

that dreadful day when she disappeared.

Ever since, my life's been utter torment.

Barnett?

Teaspoon?

You want to tell your side of the story?

I guess.

Where'd you meet her?

Church social.

She approached you?

Teaspoon. Forgive me, you struck up a conversation with her. What happened

then?

Paid court.

Where'd you do that?

Boarding house.

Not in her room, I said.

Front parlor. You gave her gifts?

Tried. But?

She wouldn't take them. And then one day, you proposed marriage.

Yep. And she accepted.

Made that day the happiest of my life.

Except she ain't your wife, and she never will be. She's mine.

Liar! You thief!

You... Lucius, Barnett, stop it.

Now, Lucius, I hate to inform you, but by your own logic, I wouldn't be any

more married to you than I am Barnett.

Why not?

Because I had seven husbands by the time I met you.

Here I come.

What's so funny?

The long jaw.

Kid, it ain't like I never seen you without him on before.

That's better already.

You ain't hiding a couple of husbands on me, are you?

Can't I live long enough to have a couple of husbands?

No, but you're pretty enough to have a couple of hundred.

What's wrong with you?

I just don't feel right.

It sure feels right to me.

Oh, yeah.

It just ain't the way I was brought up.

I was taught that when a man and woman haven't been doing what we've been

doing, that it ain't proper unless... Unless... Excuse me, kid.

But you ain't fixing to propose.

No.

Well, maybe.

I guess not. Well, yeah, maybe I am.

Well, then I'm afraid.

I won't be able to accept.

Why not?

Because where I was brought up, I was taught that when a man comes proposing,

it's supposed to be on business.

I love you too, Keith.

I swear, it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

So you won't forget me, Mr. Poole.

How could I possibly forget you?

Thank you so much.

I don't think I'll forget any of you ladies. Thanks again.

Ladies, good afternoon.

Mr. Poole.

Mr. Cody.

Welcome. I heard you speak this afternoon. I was interested in what you

had to say. Good, good. I'm glad you could make it.

I had a question, though. Well, I hope I can answer.

Mr. Cody, my brother Caleb. Mr. Cody.

Nice to meet you.

That's quite a bounty. Oh, indeed. I am truly blessed.

What about that question you had, William?

When you were talking about being a terrible swift sword, what does that

mean? Just meant that the new world's not gonna materialize by itself, and

it's gonna need help, a bornin'. What kind of help?

Mr. Cody, those who poison our society, the vermin, the scum, the rabid animals,

they must be tracked down and rooted out.

Oh, so then you're a vigilante.

No, quite the opposite. We carry warrants on every man we pursue.

And when you find him?

We turn him over to the proper authorities.

Do you collect the reward?

We take our due.

Like bounty hunters.

Like good shepherds, Mr. Cody.

Come on, have a seat.

You see, William, we distribute that money to those in need.

The God-fearing men and women who are the backbone of this great nation.

I'm sorry if I insulted you. No offense taken.

That sounds like fine work.

Indeed.

Perhaps you'd like to join us.

I don't think so.

Why not?

Because I just don't think much good can come from it, that's all. The only way

the West can truly be lost is with defeatist thinking like that.

Instead, each person needs to assume a personal responsibility for doing the

Lord's work, making a path to that new Jerusalem.

And you know, William, God... God places a special responsibility on

the exceptional and the strong, like yourself.

Give me a night to sleep on it.

You take as much time as you'd like. I don't want you with us unless your heart

is truly in it.

You know, William, a great man once wrote, the only thing necessary for evil

to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

Now, you might want to remember that.

Gideon, you better hear this.

My mama.

It's my mama.

It's all right, son. His name's Matthew. It's all right, Matthew.

Now stop crying, Matthew.

We can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong. Now calm yourself and tell

us.

My mama and sister, they tied him up and they did bad things to him and they took

him away.

Where's your father, Matthew? The Blodgets.

They killed him.

Where's Marshall?

He's an old drunk. He left town the minute he heard about it.

Are those the men, Matthew?

You gotta help my mama.

We're gonna help your mama.

Caleb, take the boy.

Simon, saddle up the horses.

Regulators, let's go!

Mr. Cody, why don't you ride with us and see what business we are about?

You know, I wasn't fooling around this morning.

Well,

if that wasn't fooling around, kid, you sure are doing a good job. That ain't

what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about the other thing.

What other thing?

You know, the other thing.

Doing what's proper like, like how we were brought up.

Well, you know what they say, kid?

Haste makes waste.

That's me.

What

exactly

these Blodgetts do?

They violated and murdered a 14-year-old girl in front of her mother.

And they did the same to the mother.

See for yourself what kind of man they are, William.

The men, they're ready to move in.

No, it's too dangerous. Nobody moves in until someone can get a clean shot at

Ernest.

Get ready to give the signal.

It was one prodigious shot, William.

What happens to him now?

Caleb and Simon will deliver him up to the federal marshal in Abilene.

You look like you live pretty good, Gideon. Well, I'm neither profligate nor

puritan, William.

Hang on a minute.

How's it feel to be one of us?

Feels good.

Like I'm doing something right for a change.

Serving God is the only way to fill the void, Webb.

Believe me, I know.

I believe you, Gideon.

Gideon! Hold up!

Got some more business.

Fine.

How'd you get back so soon?

Oh, I ran into a detachment of cavalry and delivered up the blotchets into

their custody.

Excellent. Who's next, Caleb?

Horace Pullman. Wanted for bank fraud and embezzlement.

Mr. Cody?

Robbed a good homesteader of their... Hard-earned money.

Let's go.

Teaspoon? Kid, you got a minute?

Yeah, I got two. What's on your mind?

I need some advice.

Kid, you come to the right place.

Marshaling may be my business, but advice is my calling.

It's about Lou.

Ah, yes, Louise.

I don't have much experience with women, Teaspoon.

But since y'all found out Lou ain't a boy, well, she's becoming

more and more of a woman.

Time and distance, son.

That's the key to understanding women.

Time ain't the problem, Teaspoon.

It's the distance that I'm having trouble with.

Distance, huh?

Me and Lou, we've been getting real close.

Yes, I've noticed.

I mean, I mean real close.

Like in the Bible.

Now, I know that... I know that what we're doing is wrong, and I've tried to

do the right thing by Lou, but she won't take me serious and confuses me.

Uh...

Confuses you, huh? Yeah.

Because if she cared about me, like I know she does, then she should take me

serious. Because Lord knows if we don't do things to make things proper, then

something terrible could happen.

And that scares me.

So I think that maybe we should try not to stay as close.

But then, to tell you the truth, that scares me even more.

So what do you think, teaspoon?

What? Kid, I think you're going to have to do a little more thinking.

That's what I think.

Was it true?

Was what true?

About Millie and you.

I swear on my dead mother's eyes.

Fine woman.

Finest I ever met.

Except for the fact she can't cook.

What?

I said, the woman is incapable of preparing an edible meal.

She's only the best cook in the territory.

Millie?

She don't know a spatula from a spittoon.

What?

You're fabricating this whole story. She ain't ever cooked for you.

Oh, no?

Let me tell you about the birthday dinner she cooked for me.

It's only the plumpest, tenderest turkey you ever tasted.

Stuffed with cornbread and chestnuts, served with lyonnaise, potatoes, and

them little bitty pearl onions and fresh carrots she growed herself.

All of it washed down with a bottle of wine from France.

And for dessert, she made blueberry and apple pie about yea high and covered my

slices with iced cream she cranked for hours.

Can't cook, eh?

Well, she might have cooked for you, Barnett.

But you ain't yet partaken of Millie's greatest gifts.

Which? The ones bestowed on the marriage bed.

Tigress. That's what I call her.

That's what she was.

Wild and insatiable as any jungle beast.

Yes. Yes, I stole that money.

But it's the only mistake I've ever made in my whole life, Mr. Poole. I swear it.

I started this bank with that money, and I've had a good success with it.

And I'll return every cent I made if you'll just let me go free to live

peacefully with my wife and my daughter. Mr. Pullman!

Thou shalt not steal means just that.

Not that it's permissible to steal, then return the money with interest.

Please, take the money.

Just let me go. I've got a wife and a daughter.

Come on now, Gideon. Ain't there just a little room for some mercy here?

There can be no mercy for those who have shown none themselves, William.

This man has a wife and a daughter.

They are innocent victims to all this.

Now, how... are they going to live? There's no bargaining with the

commandments, Mr. Cody.

Simon, take Mr. Pullman to the federal marshal in Abilene.

I'll never get there alive and you know it. Mister, you look like an honest man.

Please help me. Hold on a minute.

Gideon, I have a friend in Abilene. Her name is Amanda O'Connell. She owns a

silver spoon saloon. Now, if I take Mr. Pullman there... Good morning with

fallen women, Mr. Cody.

Now, that really doesn't fall into the category of doing the Lord's work, now

does it?

Now, why don't you help Simon put Mr. Pullman in the cage?

Caleb,

do you wonder if our new recruit has a stomach for doing the Lord's work?

Well, he did seem to lack sufficient ardor. Mm-hmm.

We can't risk this loyalty. Perhaps we best determine just how unswerving Mr.

Cody's dedication really is, huh?

Get in there, boy.

Get on in.

John! John!

Tell my wife they're taking me to Abilene.

Tell her to get help.

Get up there, boss.

Please, mister, don't let them do this.

Miss Sweetwater, William?

We'll take a nice little town.

Oh, as nice as they come.

Yeah.

Maybe it's time we did its citizens a favor. Caleb, didn't we have a warrant

for a man recently sighted in Sweetwater?

I believe we do.

Wheels of justice grind exceedingly slow, Mr. Cody.

But they do grind exceedingly fine.

If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to call upon me.

I implore you.

Uh, ma'am?

Could I talk to you for a minute?

Marshal Hunter, of course.

You're just in time for tea.

Yes.

Ma'am, I'd like to discuss our little predicament, if I might.

Well, I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can.

Well, thank you.

While I, of all people, can understand the desire to have nine spouses, I do

question the advisability of trying to have them all at the same time.

I just didn't have the heart to divorce them.

They were all so contented.

It would have been cruel and unfeeling.

Besides, I do adore weddings.

Would you care to see my picture albums?

Well, ma'am, I... Oh, I carry them with me at all times.

This contains a visual record of my first marriage to Bud Birch.

He's my singer over in Long Fork. Still among us?

Oh, yes, healthy as a horse.

This is the official portrait.

Oh, it's very handsome.

Yes, that's one of the reasons for all the weddings.

I do look marvelous in white.

You certainly do.

But earnestly, ma'am, why'd you actually have to go and marry them all?

Such relations outside the bonds of holy matrimony would not be proper.

No, no, no, of course not. I didn't mean to suggest.

Forgive me, I was just... I'm making a mess of this whole thing, ain't I?

Teaspoon. Huh?

May I call you that?

Uh-huh.

Teaspoon.

The unvarnished truth is I love men.

I love them all.

Short, fat, bald, skinny, toed like I love them all.

And it's because I love them so, I can't bear being tied down to any single

one of them.

Now, you've been married six times.

That's right.

Six times.

They say seven is a lucky number.

Excuse me, ma'am.

I've got to get back to work.

Maybe we can have that tea another time.

Is that Pullman all right?

I suppose you don't have that money he stole.

All gone.

Marshal, he spent it on beefsteak, bourbon, and blondes.

That reward offer still stand?

Well, I can't see any reason why not. Why don't you step over the bank and

I'll make arrangements for you to collect.

Much obliged.

And the results of these inquiries over to

Long Fork revealed that Millie's first husband, Bud Birch, was killed

tragically last Tuesday after being hit by a bolt of lightning.

And since how Millie married him first, I reckon she's never legally married to

anybody else, including you two.

Which resolves the question of her current matrimonial status.

Which leaves us with the question of her lesbianity. Now, in order for there to

be criminal proceedings, somebody must press charges.

Lucius, you want to press charges?

I just want Millie back.

Barnett, how do you feel?

Same.

Then the charges of bigamy against Miss Millie Owen are hereby dropped, and she

is free to choose whatever husband she likes.

I'm terribly sorry, but I don't want either one of you.

This court is hereby adjourned. Buck, Hickok, clear the court.

Excuse me.

Teaspoon.

I was wondering when you'd get back, son.

There's people saying that you killed a man, Teaspoon.

Well, it's been my misfortune to kill lots of men. Which one are you referring

to?

That was Galveston 20 years ago.

These people say that you killed that lawman in cold blood.

This was a hired gun for a corrupt judge. I killed him in a fair fight.

Where'd you get this?

I met a great man, Teaspoon.

Uh-huh.

And why is this great man so interested in my past?

Well, he tracks down men who've escaped justice and brings them to it. Is it

bounty hunting?

No, that's what I thought too, but he ain't. Well, what is he then? A self

-appointed avenging angel?

Not exactly.

Gideon was wrong about you, but a few of the men that we took in, They're as bad

as they come. Son, you gotta stop looking for heroes to start being your

own, because nine times out of ten, these ready-made ones ain't to be

trusted. You're wrong about him, Teespan. Am I?

I was acquitted of these charges 16 years ago.

Even a man half-interested in justice could have found that out.

Besides, you must sense something ain't quite right with this Gideon.

Was you gonna turn me in to him?

No, Teaspoon, I wasn't going to turn you over to him.

But I did question some of his actions.

There was one man that he wasn't so bad.

He wasn't a murderer.

He was just a thief.

He had a family.

Still, Gideon showed him no mercy.

Have you ever seen this Gideon hand anybody actually over to the law?

No.

What did he ask you to do?

Well, he asked me to take you to him so he could bring you to trial in Fort

Laramie. Where was we supposed to meet him?

The corral, the edge of town.

Oh, yeah?

Well, let's just see what kind of justice your Gideon is dispensing, shall

we?

Successful mission, William?

I'll be coming by on his wagon any minute now.

But you're making a mistake, Gideon. No, why do you say that?

Because I know Teaspoon Hunter.

He's a good man.

So you spoke to him against my instruction.

He's like a father to me. There's no room for personal sentiment in New

World, William.

So he knows we're here.

What difference does it make? He's coming on his own free will.

Besides, no charges were dropped against him 16 years ago. Is that what he told

you, William?

This man is wanted for murder. He must be apprehended.

Is apprehending all you're going to be doing?

What are you suggesting?

Did you really deliver Pullman to the Federal Marshal and the Blodgetts of the

Army? Indeed, they were so delivered, William.

Ready!

The hell do you think you're doing? The water posers are better alive, William.

Simon.

These men must be executed, William, lest our eccentric judicial system

release them back into society.

How can you do this?

How can you kill those men? I suspected you weren't strong enough for this kind

of business, William.

I see my mistrust was well placed.

You betrayed me William.

May God forgive you for your weakness, Cleo.

Vengeance is the Lord's.

You forgot that.

You say you won't change your mind.

No, I don't think so.

What a shame.

We

could have had

such fun.