Original subtitles

[protagonist] I was born in Osaka.

[♪ light music playing]

I think Osaka is an amazing place.

It swallows up and absorbs all kinds of people

and all kinds of lives.

[indistinct chatter]

But it never changes.

I'm a high school graduate, unemployed, and a virgin

with no hopes and dreams. But I'm here too.

-[brother exclaims] -[brother's girlfriend] Hey, Yak-kun,

your older brother's here, right?

-You sure it's okay? -[brother] It's okay.

This room is soundproof.

Soundproof? I can hear everything.

[brother's girlfriend] No... Yak-kun, you can't.

[brother] It's okay. It's just the two of us.

[brother's girlfriend moans softly] Don't...

Yak-kun... you can't do that.

[gasps] Hey, hey, hey! Mom, don't just barge in like that!

-[mom] Oh, you were sleeping again? -[breathes heavily]

What are you doing if you keep sleeping all the time?

Crap! What can I do? The store's going under after all.

Hurry and get another part-time job

so you can at least pay for the rent or food expenses.

I've been working nonstop for ages.

Okay, okay. I get it.

Come on, just get out already!

Nothing good ever happens.

Because my eldest son is like this.

[sighs] Really...

[door slides open]

Yakisoba again?

Mom, your repertoire is way too limited.

And there's no pickled ginger.

What are you complaining about?

Those who don't work shouldn't eat.

Try to be more like your father.

You want me to follow Dad's example and die from overwork.

-Idiot... it's about feeling. -[door slides open]

Oh, hello. Sorry to intrude.

Yakisoba again?

-That yakisoba looks delicious! -I'm over it already.

Are you two even using condoms properly? Your mother doesn't know.

What are you talking about? That's gross! We're eating outside! That's it.

[mom] But I went to all the trouble of making this.

There's no portion for Sayaka, right?

-[Sayaka] Oh, no, I'm fine. -[phone chimes]

-[mom] Why don't we just split it? -[Sayaka chuckles]

[brother] I don't get what that means, so let's go.

[mom] No, I want you to eat some yakisoba.

Oh, crap, I have to get going.

Hey, didn't you just start eating a moment ago?

-[door opens] -[protagonist] I'm off!

Oh, crap.

[whining loudly] Oh, crap! Oh, crap!

RED LIGHT ELEGY

[panting]

[exclaims] Gerosuke, you're late!

This guy's Kusomaru, right? And this guy's Gerosuke?

[protagonist panting] It's been a while, Ishibashi.

It's not Ishibashi! You should call me Master, got it?

-That hurt. -[panting]

[Ishibashi] Hey, have you forgotten how to sit properly?

Master, what are you doing right now?

[Ishibashi] After graduating from middle school,

I worked as a host in Tokyo, but the Kabukicho scene didn't suit me.

I just got back the other day.

So...

-how much money did you bring? -Ow, ow, ow. I brought 2,000 yen.

6,000 yen between the two of you is way too pathetic.

Well, I'm in university

and I have a lot of studying and stuff, so I can't really work.

-Shut up, you idiot! -[groans] Ow, that hurt.

[Ishibashi's friend] Basshi, you're so cool.

-Shall we go to Jankara now? -Mm.

-Basshi is so freaking cool. -Yep.

[Ishibashi's friend] Basshi, how much do you get?

[Ishibashi] It's cheaper than the champagne I had at Princesses.

[friend 1] That's unfortunate.

If I went to the same middle school as you guys,

-I would've been in the same spot. -[guns firing in video game]

-Die, die! -[kid 1] Gas seems to be really expensive!

[kid 2] Why?

[kid 1] Well, a lot of things have been happening.

There's no way he's a host in Shinjuku!

He's definitely a tout!

[friend 2] He's 22 and still leeching off you.

I wish a meteorite would hit him precisely and kill him.

Oh, by the way, I've got a job at a supermarket.

It took a while to find one though.

[friend 2] I'm going to become a civil servant

and live off taxes of those pigs. Crap, die!

I should start one too.

-[friend 2 grunts] -My mom's nagging me about money.

I don't mind if it's hard work, but I want a job to earn money and meet women.

Isn't that just like a host club tout?

Satoshi probably gets ripped off though.

Oh! There are many jobs paying over 12,000 yen a day.

No experience necessary.

Transportation job earning 30,000 yen a month,

with flexible shifts at two days a week.

Uniforms provided,

a refreshing workplace with the number of female employees increasing! This is it!

-There's nothing but stinky old men. -If there are, they're just primates.

[worker 1 coughing]

-[worker 2] Hey! Hey! -[beeping]

[indistinct chatter]

[worker 3] Oh, hey!

This is your first time here, right? Yanagawa, right?

Ah, yes. I'm Yanagawa Satoshi. Nice to meet you.

Can you change into this now?

-Right here? -Yeah, there's no space, right?

[Inaba] I'm Inaba, the leader, so I'm leaving it to you.

-[grunts] Oh, I'm sorry. -[worker] Ow!

[tuts]

Stand up straight.

I'm sorry.

[worker tuts]

-The hell do you want? -[Satoshi] Oh, I'm sorry!

-I'm so sorry. -[tuts]

-[drilling machine rattling] -[car horns honking]

UNDERGOING CONSTRUCTION

[radio beeps]

[worker on radio] Okay, I'll start the call.

There's a bit of traffic here, so I'll keep it going.

[Inaba] Yanagawa, keep a close eye on this.

[driver 1] Hey!

You're doing some crappy construction work here!

How long are you keeping this up, idiot?

[Satoshi] Sorry, go on ahead.

[bike rider] What are you doing? Let me through!

Oh, so sorry!

[worker on radio] Yes, understood.

[driver 2] Hey, you there!

-Come here for a second. -[Satoshi] Hmm?

-What is it? -A construction vehicle is coming.

Well, even if you tell me to stop, I can't do that, so it's difficult.

Construction vehicles have priority.

-Stop right now! -[Satoshi] Oh, right...

[awkward groan]

[awkward groan] It's a bit difficult right now.

-[shouts] I'll beat you up, idiot! -[gasps]

It's your job to stop the car, isn't it? Stop it like your life depends on it!

-[Satoshi whimpers] -Where are you looking, you moron?

I'll beat the crap out of you, you moron!

The hell you looking at? Got a problem, you idiot?

[grunts]

Who do you think you are? I'll beat the crap out of you!

You brat! Who do you think you're throwing at?

-[driver 2] Hey, you! -[truck door closes]

-[thwacks] -What?

-You little brat! -Come on.

[driver 2] I won't show you any mercy!

-Come on, you bastard! Let's do this! -[driver 2 shouts angrily]

-Die, you bastard! -[terrified scream]

Come at me!

-[indistinct clamoring] -Hey, hey. Hold on a second!

Yanagawa! I'll handle this! You take her

and go there! I'm counting on you!

-[worker] I'm leaving it to you! -[Satoshi] Ah, yes!

[driver 2] Get over here, you brat!

[Inaba] Calm down! Calm down!

Oh, my name is Yanagawa Satoshi.

I just started today.

Thanks for earlier.

Those kinds of unnecessarily arrogant guys are most annoying.

Right.

It pisses me off

that people talk like that and you can't do anything.

No, I'm really sorry.

If you're going to apologize, at least show some guts.

Right.

I'm Chiko. This is my first time doing this part-time job, just like you.

Chiko.

-Is this your first time here? -Yeah.

[indistinct clamoring]

[tuts] They're still going at it?

-How annoying. -Yeah.

No, Chiko, you stay here. Leave it to me.

-Huh? -[clamoring continues]

[Satoshi] Let's stop fighting...

-Ah, let's stop. -[driver 2] You stinky pig idiot!

-You idiot! -I'll beat you up, you pig idiot!

-[Satoshi exclaims] -[Chiko grunts]

[Chiko] That hurt! [groans]

[screams]

[Satoshi] I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!

[Chiko] When a wimp tries what they're not used to,

it goes really bad.

I don't care about appearances or anything...

but this is just really uncool.

No, no, it's fine! Chiko, you're really cute!

[♪ cheery music playing]

[Satoshi] 'Kay, I'm off.

[mom] You worked until morning today.

Well, I was suddenly asked to switch shifts.

[mom] Aren't you getting a bit too optimistic?

It's all right.

[mom] Hey, hey. Take this with you.

-[soft chuckle] Huh? Okay, thanks. -Take this with you.

-[Satoshi] I'm off then! -See you later!

-[car horns honking] -[drivers clamoring]

[driver 1] Hey, you idiot!

[driver 2] You idiot!

[Chiko shouts] Who are you throwing cigarettes at?

-Hey! The hell you doing! -[indistinct clamoring]

What the hell are you doing?

[Satoshi] No, Chiko! That'll turn into a crime!

[terrified gasping]

-Stop it! Seriously! -[yelling angrily]

[terrified gasping]

[Chiko] I'll kick the crap out of you!

Come on! Hey!

-Here's coffee. -Break will be over soon.

-[Satoshi] Green tea and... -How long are you taking?

-[Satoshi] Non-alcoholic beer and... -You're so slow.

-Here's your jasmine tea. -[tuts]

I said unsweetened jasmine tea, idiot!

Oh, I'm sorry.

-I'll go buy some. -Never mind! There's no time. Just go!

Really? I'm so sorry.

[Satoshi] Oh my!

I'm so tired!

Give it a rest already. Why do you always end up the errand boy?

It's not like this place has good company.

I guess I'm just born that way.

Born to be an errand boy, huh...

Excuse me, please stop!

-[car engine revving] -Hey, please stop!

-[car horn honking] -[Satoshi exclaims, whimpers]

[Chiko tuts]

[shouts] Give it a rest already!

If you don't stop the car, it'll be dangerous for us!

You're radiating cowardly aura all over! That's why people underestimate you.

-Put some determination in your eyes! -My eyes...

Like this?

[chuckles] Like that.

-That's just funny. [tuts] -[grunts] Sorry.

[scoffs] You're such a hopeless case.

What you lack is determination.

Don't lose! Beat them up! That's the feeling you should have!

-[shouts] Okay! -Mm.

[tuts]

[♪ somber music playing]

[kid 1] I wonder if Teru goes to majors next year.

[kid 2] Yeah, I think so.

[kid 3] Who's Teru?

[kid 1] He's the hitter for the Hanshin Tigers.

-[kid 3] What's that? -Why am I such a wimp?

[chuckles] That's like

Tom Cruise wondering why he's Tom Cruise.

Tom doesn't think that.

Well, you just have to accept reality.

No!

I want to change myself somehow!

I gotta do something!

Hey, you guys! It's Ishibashi! Gotta hide!

[Satoshi whimpering]

Such a liar!

[friend 1] That cowardice is deeply ingrained in your genes.

It's impossible to change! [laughs]

[friend 2] Hey! Stop talking about genes.

[passerby 1] Next is my recommendation.

-[passerby 2] No rush! -[laughter]

[passerby 3] You're drunk!

[Satoshi] Oh, excuse me, but you should go take the detour.

-[passerby 1] Huh? Cormorant? -[Satoshi] Yes.

If you're raising cormorants, that's a pain!

-[laughs] -We want to go this way! Let us through!

I'm really sorry, but that's impossible.

Let us through, you idiot!

-[Chiko] What's going on? -[passerby 3] Huh?

[chuckles] Whoa! There's a girl?

-Well, isn't she cute? -She's pretty cute, isn't she?

-[passerby 2] Oh, and she's a blonde! -[laughter]

Get outta here and go home, good-for-nothing!

I'll beat you up.

Oh, so scary! I'm awake now!

Yeah, Mr. Hama, maybe this is your type.

-[Hama] Yeah, you're probably right! -[laughter continues]

[Hama] Well, let's go together!

You can't go through here, so please take a detour!

-I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! -[thwacks]

-I'm really sorry! Really sorry! -[exclaiming]

[Hama] He's kind of gross.

-[passerby 3] Yeah, he's gross. -Let's just go!

[passerby 3] Are you okay, Mr. Hama?

That was pretty spirited.

Really? [breathing heavily]

Hey, there's something I want to tell you.

What is it?

I'm quitting this part-time job.

-Huh? -[Chiko] Not right away though.

Once I get my driver's license.

I wanted the money then.

Is that so?

[Chiko] You missed the train, right? Want to come to my place?

Huh?

I'll give you a ride.

Okay.

[engine idling]

-You're about to fall, so hold on tight. -Got it.

[engine revving]

[♪ gentle music playing]

-We're here. -[dog barking in distance]

[Chiko] My mom makes screws

and stuff like that.

[Satoshi exclaims]

[door opens]

[Chiko] So tired...

I'm going to take a shower. You want to go after?

No, I'm fine!

Okay, then you can go to sleep over there.

Over there...

[water running in distance]

[breathes nervously]

I wonder if I'm going to have sex.

[birds chirping]

[exclaims loudly] Huh?

[machine whirring]

Oh, you're awake. Perfect timing. Let's have lunch. Just wait a moment.

[Satoshi] Okay.

You were fast asleep.

Oh, sorry. I fell asleep quick.

[Chiko] It's okay. You must've been tired working hard yesterday.

[sizzling]

-That's rare! I can't believe you made it. -Shut up, old hag.

Stop calling me "old hag." I'm still in my 40s.

-You're old from 70 onwards. -[Chiko] Yeah, yeah.

[chopping]

[groans, grunting]

[groaning, spits]

[Chiko's mom] What is this? It's a lump of salt!

[Chiko] I got the portions wrong.

You don't have to force yourself to eat it.

No, this is just right for me.

I'll eat it.

You're a funny kid! [chuckles]

You're not the type that Chiko has around.

-[Satoshi] Is that so? -Yeah.

This girl ran away from home recently,

but was living with this determined guy. What was his name again?

Yusaku, he's in prison now, right?

Don't say stupid things.

[Chiko's mom] You're the type who'd get beat up by Chiko.

If you're going to date her, maybe you should learn to fight.

[Chiko] Hey, seriously, stop it.

It's not like that!

[Chiko's mom] Oh, that's scary. [tuts]

Well, I guess that's not really the case.

So annoying!

-[machine whirring] -[Chiko's mom] Okay.

-Let me clean up. -[chuckles] You don't have to do that.

[Chiko] You should go home and rest.

Well, you let me stay the night and treated me to a meal,

so I'll help out.

[Chiko's mom] Well, you're being serious, aren't you?

You're being persistent. I told you it's not like that.

I'm just messing with you.

[Chiko's mom] You get upset too easily. [tuts]

Excuse me!

[debt collector] It's been a while,

so I'd like to get at least the interest back today!

[debt collector shouts] Hey, are you even listening to me? Pay up!

KASUDON

[♪ light music playing]

[slurping]

I LOVE KASUDON

So good.

KASUDON

[♪ closing theme music playing]

[inaudible]