Original subtitles

Salute.

Oh shit.

What is this shit? No dip.

Oh, motherfucker.

Hello?

Someone in here?

There's someone in here.

Oh, that security.

60 seconds in and out.

San ritardo.

Ghost 95.

Salut.

Ciao. Speak English?

If I have to.

Okay. Let's do it then.

You are ready?

Hmm, lots of light.

A party?

No. The Tarrant.

How can you be sure?

The three knows.

No noise, no cars, nobody around.

Maybe you just can see them from here.

We'll find out soon enough.

Okay, watch me. Wait.

Intrusion. That's my thing. You're gonna love this.

Little boom, 60 seconds in and out. What do you say?

Don't use that name on Tinder.

On Tinder, I'm just Jay.

Paris.

You? Chiara.

Napoli.

They'll have backup.

I doubt it. They will.

They will not.

Big property like this?

Hundred percent.

Wanna bet?

Depends on the stakes.

Strip poker.

You in?

You'll be the one freezing his ass.

Et voila!

Look! A backup!

Okay then.

So, what's our plan now?

What?

Told you.

No one.

Door jammers, suction pads, semtex.

This is all burglar shit.

What does this guy do for a living?

Whatever he does, he makes money out of it.

Target. Huh.

Gottlieb 1920.

Old school.

What's that?

My new toy.

You sure it works?

Wanna bet?

You're going to end up butt naked.

Here's my butt.

Take a good look.

And showtime.

It's empty.

Look more closely.

You passed the test.

Bravo.

And bare-chested.

Interesting. Why do you care?

Why is that?

Heat control?

Avoiding static?

He won't say a thing without a lawyer.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Shall we put our shirts on and, um, repair to the parlor?

As... You've no doubt surmised by now.

This is my safe. And I'm the one who hired you. You hired us.

To rob you.

Fast learner.

Cheers. Your cop?

What? A spook? No.

Just Roger.

Kevin did. If this is an insurance scam, you better still pay us. No. I apologize

for the subterfuge. But I just need to know if the two of you could work

together as a team. And happily it appears that you can. And does it have

anything to do with the geared downstairs?

I would like to offer you the job of a lifetime.

One that is more than worthy of your talents.

Chiara, a hacking wizard.

No qualms about getting close to her target.

Jay, the most creative, explosive expert of his generation.

Separately, you're formidable.

Together, you're perfect.

What do you think?

No. Nice meeting you, but no.

Yeah, thanks for the drink, but no.

Your compensation would be 100,000 euros, plus one third of the proceeds

each.

Good champagne, actually.

What's the job?

To purloin an object of immense value from...

A secure location.

Great. That narrows it down.

Should you succeed, your children's children will never need to work a day

in their lives. Truth. Now, or I walk?

Same.

You may have noticed that recently your toothbrushes went missing.

If you call that a toothbrush.

Oh. You better have a good explanation for that. I do.

I do.

Here we go.

Chiara, Jay, the real reason I brought you here is that I am a businessman and

a bachelor and a long-retired thief.

But in both of your separate cases... I'm

also your father.

So...

We are your children, and both of us are thieves.

Just like you. Just like that?

Genetics?

I was skeptical at first.

You can test again if you like. Truth is, we are family.

I was abandoned at birth.

My foster parents couldn't be trusted with a goldfish.

So if you truly are my father, I'm curious.

Do you hear your excuse?

Chiara... I cannot begin to express how sorry I am for

what happened.

But may I say... You look so much like your mother.

Say what you like, I want to know.

Of course.

We

met

in a hotel in Capri.

I was...

on a job nearby and she was staying in the room across the hall as it turns out

she was a private detective who was trailing me on behalf of a client who

thought i had stolen his picasso i had not sadly to say anyway

one night i booked a table for two and told her the seat was hers since she was

following me anyway she might as well have dinner with me one thing led to

another and um

Then a lawyer contacted me and told me that she had passed away and that you

existed.

I tried to find her for a while, but then I was like, what the fuck would I

say? Hey, thanks for abandoning me?

I understand.

So, what do I call you?

Well, just Roger is fine, I guess.

Nice to meet you, Roger.

Nice to meet you too, young man.

Hey, bro.

Hey there, sis.

So, what do you want to steal?

Wait, this is the job.

Stealing her.

Yes.

You're insane. It's absurd.

A man named Perugia did it a hundred years ago. Yeah, smash and grab.

Totally impossible now. Every heist is impossible until someone proves

otherwise. Look, Mr. Roger, I don't care if you are Santa Claus or my loser

father, but if you're crazy enough to try stealing the most famous painting in

the world, you have lost your mind.

It cannot be done. I believe it can. Even if it could. How do you fence it?

Do you even have a buyer?

Not yet, but...

Once we hold this painting in our hands, we won't have just one buyer.

We'll have a bidding war.

One where millions become billions.

But to get there, I need a team that I can trust. You two. Think of it.

A family heist. The most glorious of the century.

All right. All right. Um... Follow me.

Synthetic amateur radar view of Paris during the 2019 drought.

Open source analysts blasphemous like Christmas every day.

Now, for centuries, a rumor has circulated of a tunnel built to enable

escape from the Louvre in times of peril. It was bricked up during the

revolution, so the rumor went.

Its endpoint long forgotten.

But do you see this line here?

This.

That is proof that the rumor is true.

The tunnel is real.

Now I know it, and you know it too.

It runs 42 feet under street level, directly into the basement of this

building.

The Académie Française. It would appear so, yes.

So, break into the Académie Française and steal the Mona Lisa.

Oui. And then what?

We blow up the Eiffel Tower?

Me, you, her, that's it.

Yes. No mercenaries.

You, too, are all I've ever needed.

Two towering talents.

My own flesh and blood.

So you were a real thief, huh?

Back in the day.

Anything we might have heard of?

Um, well, it's very rare that anyone brags about being robbed, but, um,

let's see.

Uh, shall we say the Mumbai Taj Mahal in 95 bands?

The Romanov necklace.

You mean, you are the Snow Leopard?

Tabloids invention.

That always sounded like a shitty heavy metal band to me.

But, um, yes, I am he. I thought the Snow Leopard died in prison.

In Mogadishu.

He did, but I didn't.

Anyway, would you two do me the honor of being my guests for the night?

I can explain the plan in detail in the morning, and then you can decide whether

it's your cup of tea.

Cup of tea.

If we do this job, and I mean if, we need some ground rules.

I know, I shook my ass at you, but... I wasn't looking.

Okay, sure.

No, I really wasn't. It didn't feel like that at the time. At the time, we didn't

know, bro.

So you were looking. No, I wasn't looking, no.

Nice room.

Big brother. How old are you? 30. So am I. I meant 31.

Loser. Good night, little ghost.

Good night, 30 seconds.

Okay,

this had better be... An amazing plan.

An amazing plan.

Shall we begin?

Seven days from today, the 18th of October, the Louvre closes at 6 p.m.

Maintenance works through till 9, leaving it pristine for the morning.

2,000 guards, brigade of police, and the French military.

By that time, Jay, you enter the academy through the way to the bricked-up

passage. Meanwhile, Chiara, on the church terrace, overlooking the museum.

You access the security network, Mona Lisa's monitoring system. Meanwhile, you

guide Jay, cut the power, back up generation, 12 seconds to kick in. And I

believe that more or less covers everything.

Seven days?

Yes. Not a lot of time to prep. But more than enough for you to find a way into

the Louvre security network thanks to a VR intrusion technique.

And for Jay to find a way to breach that tunnel.

And 12 seconds for the lift itself.

It's tight, but doable.

Young man of your tongue.

Come on.

Still, seven days.

I know.

Normally we'd have to wait till Christmas, but it was kind enough of the

personnel to announce they're going on.

Strike next week.

Vive la France.

Zero visitors.

Minimal guards.

The opportunity of a lifetime.

So I ask you.

Shall we do this together?

As a family?

Yeah.

Now, here are the technical details.

Read it. Study it.

Commit it to memory.

Then, do it again.

Actually, you can do it on the road.

Can we make a stop? I need to pee.

But you went at lunch.

That was two hours ago. Well, all those energy drinks may have something to do

with it. It's right here. What's the problem? I want to hit Paris before six.

That's in three hours.

Yes, and if we're caught in rush hour, we won't get there until eight.

Okay, fine.

Eyes on the road.

Oh, my God, what's wrong with him?

In the can or out the window, your choice.

No pissing in the gag.

Disgusting. Relax.

What's the fucking problem anyway?

We have an appointment.

Can't you call and just let the guy know? It's a lady and she doesn't have a

phone.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, with music.

Here we are.

There we are.

Show some respect.

Here we are, kids.

Right across from our target.

That didn't help me figure out where to plug in the pineapple.

Plug what?

It's a hacking device, so I can grab the signal from the outside.

But where would you put that?

That's the whole point.

Why don't we discuss this inside, shall we?

Welcome to a Parisien pied-à-terre.

Where is my room?

Upstairs.

Shoes off, please.

The deposit is obscene.

You too.

Kids don't mind sharing a room, do you?

I thought it might give you the opportunity to bond a little bit.

Do we have to?

Oh, I'm sorry. The Ritz was all booked up.

Dinner at 7?

You know, my place isn't far. Maybe I'll just crash there and... Absolutely out

of the question.

We are a family. This is Cavendish HQ.

We stick together, just the three of us, until the job is done. Understood?

Hmm?

Why do you get the big bed?

Hmm? Why do you get the big bed?

Because I'm sitting on it.

Okay.

Problem? Yeah, you are the fucking problem.

What?

Nothing you can understand.

For the explosives to work, I need to know how much to use.

Too little, the wall of the tunnel stays.

Too much, the whole building blows up. So my first stop is the basement of the

Académie Française.

Stones, bricks, or concrete.

I just need to see what I'm working with.

How do you plan on getting in?

Planning is for losers.

But we are literally planning.

Ever heard the word talent?

Not around you. I'll get in, hit the basement, then straight to the tunnel

wall, in and out in 60 seconds, like a rock star.

Ooh.

Full English.

And what about you, my dear?

The infamous pineapple?

Did you find a place to plant it?

Yeah, I'm on it today.

Last night, I attempted a VR intrusion into their security system.

It's old, but it's a proper minefield.

I was looking for the perfect spot to plug it in, but for now, the only access

I found is above the VIP lounge, and I'm not a VIP.

And that's just one of my problems, because the second I'm inside the

system, I'll trigger a red flag.

So to get around that, I'll need a permission token.

What's a permission token?

A high-end tech security.

A sort of physical digital key, impossible to duplicate.

But don't worry.

I've got that covered. See?

Daddy's in charge.

Reunion regression.

I read about this. When orphans are reunited with their biological parents.

Never mind. Usually it's younger children. I said, never mind.

It's all right.

General Security of the counter-espionage, I would need to

access the basement of the building as soon as possible, please.

Yes, of course. Of course, thank you. It's not you, it's here, it's this door.

Yes, but wait, don't you think I should call my superior?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no

What's that?

What?

Lenny is for losers.

Fuck!

How'd it go?

Fantastic.

Dropped your phone?

Kind of.

Did you get what you needed?

Yeah.

The tunnel is limestone and mortar.

I'll go with the slime gun.

What's that?

Personal creation.

Well, I look forward to hearing all about it.

Lunch at five minutes.

I kept it light.

Play the table, please.

Slanding is for losers, huh?

Especially when you work with a backstabber.

This is yours, right?

Kind of small.

You have no idea what you're talking about, sister.

Want to dance, huh?

Is that it? That is your...

If you don't plan properly, we all get a fucking cut. And I'm not spending the

rest of my life in prison just because you're a lazy dick.

What about the mango shit that is PC girl?

It's pineapple, mommy's lover boy.

Still looking for an excuse to fail?

Enough!

You brainless little shits.

I cannot believe this. Do you think that the men who pulled off the great train

robbery or the Amherst diamond heist wasted their time squabbling with each

other? No, I don't think so. This unseemly fighting is putting the job at

risk, and I will not permit it. It took me ten years to come up with this plan,

and we've got six days to pull it off. And you have just wasted one.

You brainless little shit. Not wasted.

In fact, I did pretty well today for brainless little shit, and I'm sure my

brainless sister is going to crack her kiwi fruit problem.

Pineapple. All right. What about that permission token?

I told you, that's taken care of.

The Louvre outsources their security to the Tyrannus Corporation.

The Tyrannus Corporation is headed up by one Monsieur Bartoli.

Monsieur Bartoli keeps the token on his person at all times. He is also a

distinguished member of the Guild of Truffle Enthusiasts. And like any good

foodie, he cannot resist an invitation.

Okay. Not bad.

Not bad?

Darling, I'm English.

Not bad is what I say when I orgasm. No, no, no, no, thanks.

So, our friend Kevin Dish has been seen in town.

Yes, sir. He has.

That was yesterday, and I only find out now.

Well, sir, we thought... Shut the fuck up.

You are merely a status symbol.

Just go bring Cavendish.

And if he doesn't comply, shoot him in the face.

Hello?

This is he.

Mr. Rundle wants to see you.

No, he does.

Same hotel?

Penthouse? The car is waiting for you downstairs.

Right.

I'll be right down.

Have you been?

We just had a private tour.

of the louvre you know that big museum down by the river oh just the two of us

in a world of art all to yourselves the louvre vip tour probably walked miles in

there vip lounge and everything yeah everyone's a vip as long as they're

paying am i right bye now bye

Mr. Cavendish, congratulations.

On what?

Your plan.

I guess you have a plan.

It's a family secret.

Family.

I'm surprised you even know the word.

You made a promise to me, remember?

Yes, of course I remember.

Don't disappoint me.

This is your last chance.

I expect you to deliver on October 20th. I will. Okay, fuck off.

Nighttime stroll?

Yes, I'm not... sleeping very well these days. You told us you didn't have a

buyer.

I hope you understand that I'm doing everything I can to protect you.

So to protect us, you lie to us?

The man I met tonight is indeed our buyer.

He's very rich and very powerful.

He's also profoundly cruel and vindictive.

Who is it? A man one would never hope to know.

Because knowing him means he'd know you too.

Where did the beating war go?

There never was one.

You agreed on a prize?

From the outset.

Which is? The postcode.

In the Azores, middle of the Atlantic.

J7QH Cascalho.

That code relates to a transit facility for the largest oceanic cable in the

world. Billions of financial transactions pass through it every day.

And for each one, the beneficial owners receive a percentage of that

transaction's value.

Which comes to what?

Five dollars.

Per second.

That's 157 million dollars per year.

Until the end of time.

It's the fortune of the century.

It also saves us the trouble of handling billions of dollars in cash, which is

about as safe as drying your pubic hair over an active volcano.

Oh.

Okay.

Good.

You get some rest. Calls very soon. It's going to be you, you, me, and

Mama Lisa.

You still trust him?

I don't know.

I mean, we could do it without him. Cut him out, you know?

Now that we know his plan.

We kind of need him to get the permission token from that guy, Bartoli.

I have a guy in Napoli. He can steal your socks without taking your shoes

off.

But how would we fence the painting? I mean...

We don't have the right contacts. We can't just sell it on eBay.

Sure, there is a risk.

But it's still better than going back to stealing sneakers, no?

Yep.

Let's finish prep.

Keep a close eye.

If he does anything weird, we make a decision together.

Got your back, little ghost.

Me too. 30 seconds.

Oh, I found the solution for the pineapple.

It will be my pleasure to give you a VIP tour of our world famous art collection.

Did you ask

her?

Oh yeah, you are right.

I'm sorry.

Because she just found her father after a few years of

separation and through her little regression phase, let's say.

Ah, sorry for the pun.

Your little urinary problems.

I hope he'll be fine.

You have a problem?

The noise... You didn't hear anything?

No. No, no, nothing.

And now?

No, not yet.

Have you ever had... auditory hallucinations?

No, I don't think so.

Maybe you're a victim of migraines.

Sometimes, yes.

Have you heard of... Cavendish syndrome?

And here you are.

How are we doing, my love?

I was wondering, what's your name?

Camilla. Camilla, why don't we take a selfie together?

Awesome.

You don't mind, do you? It's for my father.

Smile. Smile.

All good.

Pineapple and magnetic heat. Well done, sis.

We are good to go.

I hope Papino doesn't have another surprise for us.

I do everything myself, I empty the freezer, I have a safe passage over this

diesel I drink in the bando, over the booster, they have invoices, they don't

have a bag of busts I send everything myself, I empty the freezer, I have a

safe passage over this diesel I drink in the bando, over the booster

You know what I'm saying?

A lawyer, it seems. A lawyer?

Yeah.

What for?

Maybe he's getting ready to throw us under the bus.

You still got his feed?

I got his feed, your feed, everybody's feed.

Okay.

Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I thought I'd have more time to

put my affairs in order, but things have taken an unexpectedly urgent turn.

paperwork to be completed by tomorrow.

This leaves a very little time. I know, but I've done nothing for them my entire

life, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let that happen again, should anything

happen to me.

Certainly, sir. I'll make the necessary arrangements.

Okay, so... We are terrible people.

We are terrible people.

Hello.

Hi. Ciao.

Cooking, I see.

Yes. Dinner.

Autumn.

Ah.

Let me check my schedule.

Turns out I'm free.

What's the occasion?

Team building.

Trust, actually.

Right.

What do children cook for their father these days?

Pasta alla ladra.

Ai solitari. Au solitaire.

To the lonely ones.

I love a good pasta.

Very, very good.

Oh, my.

I've been robbed of all feeling here.

Anyway, I'd like to just say something, if that's all right.

I'm old, and I'd rather have a dozen root canals to explain how

I feel in my heart.

But when I met you both, I thought that I would... I thought that you would

resent.

Me for my absence and I thought that you would have missed my presence

and As it turns out I am the one Who resents me

for my absence and who missed your presence?

Come. Come.

There she is.

She's waiting for us, my dears.

Waiting to break free.

Shall we run it once more?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

9.30.

Monsieur Bartoli arrives at the restaurant. He obliges me with token.

940, enter academy.

Token received.

Beginning penetration.

950, Mona Lisa has a half-flash. Enter tunnel.

955. Into store room. 1003, lights off.

1005, up the stairs.

Power off. Enter.

Lift. Power back on. 110, staff exit.

Transport ready.

1012, rudrigoli. 1013, in viaggio.

Boom. Boom.

Boom.

We didn't miss anything, right?

Yeah, I know.

It always feels like we missed something.

No.

Nothing. We missed nothing.

Trust me.

They'll never see it coming.

Monsieur Bartoli will have no idea I've stolen the security token from him.

Thanks to which, Chiara, the loop's security, will have no idea you're

virtually neutralizing their network.

And you, Jay, thanks to your sister, the police will have no idea you're coming

through the tunnel and slipping into the museum.

By the time they realize what's happening, we'll have pulled off our

magic trick.

Bonsoir. Monsieur, bienvenue.

Il me semble que vous avez une table à mon nom.

J'espère que cette table vous conviendra.

Je me permets de vous soumettre le menu que notre chef a

élaboré pour cette soirée d'exception.

Très bien. Merci beaucoup.

Monsieur, vous allez voir Dieu.

Je vous promets.

The European Salvo is a textbook melanosporum from clay-rich first blush

pedigord. It almost ruins the enjoyment of other restaurants.

I imagine we will have to take the risk.

Ah, yes.

Very well put. Well said. Yes, yes.

Well, bon appétit, then. Merci beaucoup.

Oh.

Oh.

Something not okay? No, it's not.

An old shrapnel friend seems to want to join the party.

Your shrapnel?

Yes.

Bosnia. The war?

Oh. My tank to mine.

Damn Chetniks.

The medics couldn't get it out. It's such a terrible thing when you have to

go through an airport.

Should I call a doctor? No, no, no, no. It's very simple, really. I just need

someone to sort of hold me and stretch out the spine a bit.

Would you oh, well, no, of course, I'm so sorry. That's rude

Would you be so kind Of

course, thank you. It's very quick. No, no, you show me what to put your arms

around me I'm going to keep my arms here gently now gently.

Yeah, but family okay stretch me stretch me firmly gently

Ah! Ah.

That's right.

Yes.

That's it.

It's okay. Thank you so much. I won't be in a wheelchair now, thanks to you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I'm so sorry. Sorry.

So sorry.

Love it. Oh, much better. I feel like a two-year-old.

Dragonfly on its way.

Onward Cavendish.

Cavendish ready.

Cavendish ready.

Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

Bye.

I mean psychic system.

I'm gonna take care of them when I use them.

Okay. I'm working on the wall now.

I don't know if the camera is big.

What's going on?

I don't know, it's mounted.

If there's a joconde. Let me see.

Nothing works.

Well done.

Who said planning was for losers?

What

was

that?

I'd like a word or two with the maintenance guy.

All good?

Yeah.

I'm in.

I'm in. But I hope there's really an exit on the other side.

You know, there's always a reason this yellow tunnel.

Usually zombies.

Zombies. Can't wait.

Thanks.

We'll be there. You should see some smoke, some condensation, something like

that.

Well, look, it looks normal. With a 99% hygrometry, what are you waiting for?

That it will melt?

We can't touch anything without your agreement, sir.

Well, you have my agreement, we'll take you to the lab, I'm coming. Very well.

Moe, for BenJ, do you receive me?

Yes.

Can I check the backbone of the security network, check that we are not a bug

somewhere? Yeah, I was just going to call you, there's something weird on

relay B-122.

Is it the one that controls the conservation sensors?

Yeah, exactly.

And where is he?

It's El Richelieu on the second floor. The access is just above the VIP living

room.

Can you go take a look, please?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's go.

Oh, my God.

What's wrong?

You know how there is always this security guy who says, Hey, why don't we

put one more door?

I'll fuck that guy.

Can't you blow it up? No, I can't. I can hear the river flowing right above my

head.

Maybe there is another way. There is no other way. I don't want to drown in the

dark in a fucking tunnel.

Okay, okay, you're right.

Let's stop. It's impossible. That's it. Okay, that's what I said. Go back. I

can't, I can't, I can't. Can you hear me? The ladder broke. I can't go back up

the fucking well.

I can't go back up.

Okay, son.

Dad? It's okay.

A young man of your talent? I'm sure you can control this blast perfectly.

I know you can.

I'm not so sure.

Did I ever tell you about my escape from the Mogadishu jail?

The tunnel I dug came out in a sewer, and some tit had blocked up the manhole

with one extra grate.

I thought I was going to drown in an ocean of Mogadishu effluent.

But I refused to surrender, so I scraped the cement away with my spoon.

And when my spoon gave out, I went at it with my bare fingers. And then my teeth.

And that is why I'm still here today.

What I'm saying is, believe in yourself, sir.

I do.

Okay.

King of reboot mass equation.

Peek over pressure.

Impulse.

Shockwave duration.

Jay, you there?

Jay, are you alright?

I'm still alive!

And then?

No, we're waiting for the conservator.

Okay.

It's never the right time, is it?

I'm in the storeroom. Halfway there, bro.

Ready. Copy that.

On my count.

Three, two, one.

Clear.

Keep going. They can't see you.

In position.

Your call.

Okay. On my way.

Almost there.

Get ready.

You're sure there's no backup?

Going to bed?

Straight booker? Is that a yes or a no?

Going dark, Cavendish.

Three, two, one.

Go!

What's that?

What's going on?

Well, we shouldn't be the only ones on strike.

Who's that guy now?

He's a maintenance guy, isn't he?

What is he packing for you?

You have to check, you know.

A bag of ostrich eggs and a petal of melanosporum.

Hey you!

Can I see what you're wearing?

This?

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

I had a class before my shift.

What do you think?

Honestly?

Go ahead.

Bye. Thank you.

What's happening here?

Don't worry guys, it will come back.

chevreuil rôti flambé, saleré truffé et sauce périgourdine.

Yeah,

I'm listening.

I just came across a bunch of stuff, it doesn't come from home.

What do you mean?

I don't know, it's like they're trying to pin us down.

Listen, the Joconde is here, there's nothing there.

Yes? Ben Ammar, everything alright?

We had to move the Joconde, there was something weird with the Sensors.

But... there's a problem.

I don't know why.

I think someone stole my access key.

Oh, fuck.

We'll film it right away. We'll film it right away.

Correcazzo.

You don't own me.

I'm not just one of your many toys.

You don't own me.

Don't say I can't go with other boys.

How is the wind?

Steady from the west.

We didn't miss anything, right?

No. No, I don't think we did, you're right.

We didn't miss a fucking-

She's right above us.

Come to mama.

Here. Yeah.

I knew it! I knew it! Come here!

I knew it! I knew you could do it! I knew it!

Show me.

My God.

Police?

Chasing their turkeys in Paris.

In the wind.

Yes. That doesn't mean they can't chase your vehicle.

We still do the swap. No, no, no, it's too dangerous for you. No, no. They

could do it forever.

No, I won't hear of it.

This is your masterpiece.

I want you to take it in the jag.

Meet me at the safe house.

If I'm not there in 48 hours, I want you to hide it away safely and then go to

Zurich. This way.

Understand?

And live off this.

And then disappear.

And do not try to find me. I will find you. Why don't we all go in a jar?

Yes, come with us. No, because the terriers need something to chase after.

But I don't want to lose you now.

I know.

We'll see each other again soon. I promise.

We only just got to know each other.

Now go.

Go. Now!

I think we're good.

Let's get her inside.

We never left the car.

When I went to the toilet... I stayed.

No one touched the trunk. Impossible.

modified trunk.

Maybe dad knew about this.

He would have told us.

It's motorized.

Fucking painting staining machine.

Yeah. We did miss something after all.

Family heist.

No problem if you're the gorgeous.

Unless your mother... No, no, no, no, no.

The DNA test could have been fakes, but my mom confirmed it. Did she? Don't...

Don't say it. Jay, think. Nothing to think about. You trust her. Of course I

trust her. She's my mother. No mother would ever do that. How would you know,

anyway? I don't know much about mothers, but I do know I scum when I see it.

Well, maybe you could have said something, no? You're the one who

convinced me, mommy's boy. I'm just jealous, I get it. Oh, yeah? Jealous of

what? I have a mother, I have a father, that's a fact. But then who are you,

huh? An employee?

What?

You done? That's it? Wait, please, wait.

It's too late to be sorry.

No matter who that guy is, he scammed us, right?

Yes, he scammed us.

It's pretty clear.

So, imagine.

We are him.

We just pulled off a big one.

What comes next?

C4. Old school.

One thing in life you can count on.

And... Boom.

Paid? Yeah, paid.

Paid, that's what I just said. Did he pay you?

Of course not, he didn't pay me at all. Mom, stop your bullshit now.

Tell me, Jérémy, please.

Where are you? Are you kidding me?

Where are you? Answer now.

What is this?

I'll explain to you.

Go on, explain to me. Are you in Tahiti? Right now.

Of course not, I'm not in Tahiti. Of course not, but what? Where are you?

Oh, crap, it cut.

No, don't start. Stop, mom. I can't hear you.

Hello? Hello?

How we did not see this coming.

Everything was part of the plan.

The DNA lab, the house, the check.

He manipulated us.

And when he felt we had doubts, he pulled the lawyer trick.

But things have taken... An unexpectedly urgent turn.

The paper was to be completed by tomorrow.

This leaves a very little time.

I know.

So you are not even my sister?

I was never anybody's sister or daughter.

I never imagined what having a sister would feel like and...

I will miss you.

A lot.

I'll always be your sister.

If you want to be my brother.

Okay.

Now.

We're gonna get him.

Right now he's in Mexico or Jakarta?

Not yet. First, he has to make a delivery.

He just crossed into Italy.

What's that?

He's got a pacemaker, works on Bluetooth, so his doctor can monitor him

remotely. How do you know that?

Because I'm fucking good at what I do.

And just over a day since the Louvre confirmed that Leonardo da Vinci's Mona

Lisa, one of the most famous paintings in the world, was stolen from the museum

in the middle of the night. The details remain unclear, but the theft...

And you can bugger off as well.

He hasn't been moving for hours.

Maybe it's just a decoy signal.

Or he's still asleep.

Why wait?

I say we stick him out now.

In and out, 60 seconds.

And then what?

We cannot fence it. He wasn't lying about that.

Oh, look. He's on the move.

Okay, so now he makes the say. He gets his payoff.

Cash, bitcoin, property title, whatever.

And we'll rob him.

Roadside stick of old school. 60 seconds.

Yes! Yeah.

Staking a left one kilometer ahead.

Hmm

Okay.

Mr.

Cavendish.

It's so nice of you to be untied.

Well, you know me.

I aim to please.

And you didn't come empty-handed, huh?

No, I did not.

Shall we?

My team set up everything we need in there. Come on.

Let's go.

We're ready for you, Professor.

There we are.

I see that you've got everything prepared.

I brought these, but I think your kit is cut above.

I'm surprised you're surprised.

Behind the tree. Yeah, I know. I can see it.

Okay. Right. I'm ready.

There she is.

In the flesh.

Dr.

Ludovico says no more... Shut the fuck up.

So... Da Vinci painted a draft sketch underneath the painting, I believe.

Yes, the pentimental of the hands and the beginnings of another portrait. I do

hope you're not planning on passing off another fake like the last time, are

you?

Alternative authenticity, if you don't mind.

No, no, no.

Certainly not.

Okay.

I don't just pay for the painting.

The story is part of the deal.

Wait, what was it? That family secret you told me about?

Secrets are like mushrooms, old boy.

Mushrooms?

Better kept in the dark?

I don't know what they're talking about.

How do you do that? Oh, my foster sister was deaf. She taught me. Well, I needed

to find professionals who were pliant and wouldn't pry.

And given that there are so many fractured families in the criminal

underworld, I thought, what better role to play than that of a long-lost father?

The difficult thing was finding the perfect dummies.

Dummies?

Cretini.

Two stupid, gullible young kids.

Oh, my God.

You old bastard.

Well done, Professor.

Happy? Oh, well, yes.

The subtraction imaging seems correct. Okay. And the croculary is a match.

Good. Naturally, I would need a full day to confirm.

It appears we have a winner here, Mr.

Cavendish. Congratulations, then, on your new acquisition.

Yeah. Which brings me to our arrangement.

Yeah, absolutely. You are absolved of your debt to me.

Having said that, how can I possibly keep

anyone alive who knows what I now possess?

I'm sure even you understand, Cavendish.

Thank you, Bruno.

Truly. Thank you?

Whatever for?

For playing directly into my hands.

Republic of France.

On a repatriation mission.

Elise. Elise enters the house.

Palazzo Kiji, the Gioconda is returning home.

Soldiers.

Get in

now

Great to meet you, you fucking sociopath.

Quite so. How do you do? You fucking traitor.

I just saved your asses by the fucking way.

Okay, so, where's our money? Money? There's no money.

What? But you gave the painting to the guy in the wheelchair. Correct.

For free? Did you really think we'd get away with stealing and fencing the most

valuable painting in the world? That would be like trying to sell a nuclear

bomb in a farmer's market. So why did you give it to him?

Brace yourself. Watch out!

The painting was leverage.

I was in debt to Van Clum. Van who?

The guy in the wheelchair.

What kind of debt?

Big. What did you do to him?

Let's not go there. So what went wrong?

Men like him, they just keep coming. The only way I could be free was if he was

in prison or dead. So you caught the French?

And the Italians?

And they catch him holding the Mona Lisa, the one thing his money cannot

protect him from. And you knew the French were gonna use smoke to escape,

that's it.

You're smarter than I thought.

Fuck you! You're not even the Snow Leopard! No, I know! I know I'm not! I'm

a liar!

I'm an awful, horrible person, a loathsome piece of shit. But you two are

the only family I've ever had. Oh, God, I want to puke. Yeah, that's what

happens when you look in the mirror.

He's just lying again.

No, I'm not. I wasn't lying back there. Well, hardly, a little bit. Just for...

Brace yourselves.

All right, out.

Both of you, now.

Out, now. Quickly.

Right.

The Italians are back that way.

French on the other side, no doubt. But this is technically a no-man's land.

Neither of them can enter here.

That door is an old evacuation route for the workers who built this place.

It was my intention to ditch the car and disappear through that. But then you two

showed up and...

Take it.

It's rusty, but I owe the luck.

Go.

Why are you doing this? Why don't you come with us? Why am I doing it? Because

they don't know about you yet. No one's after you yet. And I never thought I'd

say this, but if anything bad has to happen to anyone, I'd rather it happen

to me than to you two.

We love you too, crazy prick.

That's what fathers do, isn't it?

You are not our father, Roger.

Right, yes. So who are you, really?

Really?

My name is Marcus Dubrovnik.

And I'm from New Jersey.

Summit City, to be exact, I think.

That's it.

Anyway.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Look after yourselves.

I'm going that way.

Italian prison food is much better than French.

Don't shoot.

I have a family.

What kept you? We're right on time. Man, you stink.

I'm sorry. I was going to take a helicopter, but you know I'm more of a

sewer person. You know, Mogadishu. Come on, stop with Mogadishu. All right, I

meant Kathmandu.

Kathmandu? Whatever.

The Mona Lisa, she's still missing.

Of course she is.

Took me a long time, let me tell you.

Layering in that pentimenti and everything.

You mean the one you gave Van Clum is a fake? Of course!

What do you think, I'm an idiot?

Another fake?

Yeah. And I have to say, it's probably the best ever made. It really is. So,

where is she?

Yeah, where is she?