Original subtitles

(♪ ♪) (applause)

(cheers)

(applause)

(cheers)

(♪ ♪)

Congratulations.

Wine, gentlemen?

Of course.

This toast...

...it is in honor...

...of my admired Dionisia...

...who on this very special day...

...for her...

...well, he feels very happy.

And I want to thank all of you...

...his closest friends...

...for being here...

...on this wonderful day...

...and unforgettable for her.

And I also want you to be witnesses...

...of what is going to happen.

Beloved Dionysia...

...will you marry me?

Do you accept?

(kisses)

Yeah?

But ya so soon?

Say yes...

...you have to secure our future.

Hey, Grandma, but he's really old...

...and it seems that you no longer have much of a future.

Oh, I accept!

Oh, thank you, thank you!

I feel like the happiest man in the world!

Bravo!

(applause) Up with the bride and groom!

Get up.

Oh, I feel...

...I sit down and I can't stand up anymore...

...help me!

Thanks, Jimeno.

This, no more need be said...

...health!

Health!

Cheers, then.

I never thought life would smile on me so soon.

You have to tie it up now.

But how, Grandma?

Easy!

Put a little balloon on your stomach.

Well, a pillow would be easier...

...but why?

I hope you get pregnant soon, silly!

Oh no, Grandma!

Well, that's it, no more need be said...

...make them score a goal right away, right away.

Let the horse neigh in the corral.

Let the mole go to its den.

So, do I get pregnant, build a soccer field...

...or a stable?

That?

Do you want cake?

Yeah!

(♪ ♪)

♪With flavor!♪

(♪ ♪)

(applause)

(cheers)

(applause)

(cheers)

Finish it!

(applause)

(♪ ♪)

We're going to the World Cup, man! (laughter)

(applause)

Promise me everything tonight.

Of course, but you're going to have to be very patient.

(exhalation) What will you do to me?

I'm going to score a goal on you.

(groan) What, isn't it the other way around?

I'm the one who takes penalties, my life.

But you have to stop me first...

...and then the others come in on their own, eh.

Well, it's the first time I'm going to play...

...football...

...and I'm almost a virgin.

Don't worry, I'll teach you, my life.

Almost! How almost?

I'm going to go with my friends for a while.

(cheers)

(♪ ♪)

I'll be back soon.

Miss...

...would you like to file the floor with me?

(♪ ♪) (mumbles)

Home!

Hey, the first one in the room is already married, huh!

And it wasn't for a prize. Who's next?

And now what's wrong with you?

(sob) Look at her...

...how beautiful it turned out.

Who would have thought!

I still remember the first time I did her makeup...

...at his first communion.

And now that they are going to receive communion.

(sobs) (laughter)

(♪ ♪)

(risa)

(cough) Grandma, what's wrong?

The thing is...

...your husband doesn't...

...it won't be firm.

That soldier, uh!

Not even the helmet remains.

(laughs) (♪ ♪)

Beardless youths...

...clean-faced...

...they don't understand anything.

(laughs)

But you do, Eruviel...

...you do.

(laughs)

This is embarrassing.

(laughs) (♪ ♪)

My little Jerry...

...you have to behave very well today...

...you have to behave...

...like a gentleman...

...and stand up so my lady can sit down.

Sorry?

Hey, I'm talking to a friend.

It's not for you, young man...

...I'm on a video conference...

...with a friend, I tell him...

-...Do you want to meet him? -No, thanks.

Ah.

So you heard me, Jerrito, huh?

He behaves very well, he stands up straight...

...and with great dignity...

...so that he may receive his crown...

...then... (knocked / door)

It's busy.

These never fail me.

Of the...

...three.

They're for Jerry, not for you...

...don't stop me because then yes.

In the name of the Father...

...of the Son, of the Holy Spirit.

Eruviel, are you okay?

Uh, great.

Have a great time, darling!

Thank you!

Ah...

...I would be delighted...

...to welcome you to my office, Eruviel...

...one of these days.

Don't pay attention to her, she's excited.

Excited and drunk, I almost threw up.

Come in, love.

You run over grandma.

(ignition/engine)

(♪ ♪)

(cheers)

-Long live the bride and groom. -Congratulations.

Long live the bride and groom!

Stop it!

May I help you, my boss?

Yes, but don't call me boss.

Tell me boss, I'm not a saint.

Well, for me it is...

...since he gave me a job as a driver...

...and that's even though I didn't know how to drive, my boss.

Don't call me boss, call me boss!

(♪ ♪)

Little dog!

(laughs)

Come on, let's see.

(whining)

Oh, help me, puppy.

(whining)

Sale.

(panting) Oh, puppy.

Little dog...

...puppy. (imitation / roar)

(laughs)

(imitation/roars)

(gasps)

Now yes, now yes.

Oh, puppy!

(imitation/roar)

(gasps)

(humming)

Oh, oh, little puppy...

...you desperate and...

(gasps)

(humming)

Oh, puppy!

Wait for me, wait for me, puppy...

...a penalty shootout is coming your way.

...of Chile against Costa Rica.

(humming) (knocking / door)

-Room service. -Wait for me.

(♪ ♪)

Your service, sir.

(clears throat) I like formality.

Ah, many thanks... Allow me.

Enjoy it, sir.

Thank you very much, that's what I want.

(yours)

Shall we toast?

Again?

You're a little princess.

(snap/mouth) I'm a queen.

Queen? Well, you're like a...

But what if I'm a fairy tale queen...

...why don't you make love to me until I say...

..."colorín colorado...

...this king has copulated me."

(gasps) Well...

...of course, my love, of course!

(exhalation)

Of course!

(imitation/roars)

(risa)

(♪ ♪)

(gasps)

Wake up, look at her...

...it's really good, watch it.

The best wedding night I've ever had.

No, no, no, just bear with me, princess, no.

Look, look, the thing is...

...eh, he's very excited and tiny...

Well yes, I already realized it!

No, my love, what I mean is that...

...he's so absent-minded.

Your own granddaughter hanging and humiliated...

...on their wedding night.

Nobody said it was easy.

But not impossible either.

You know what? I'd better give up now...

...and I'm getting a divorce now that the marriage hasn't been consummated.

You have to continue your mission, Dionisia.

And secure our...

...your future.

Trust in...

...my.

My love, I want you to forgive me for the honeymoon.

I swear, what do you want me to give you to forgive me, huh?

Come on, ask me for whatever you want.

-Whatever I want? -Whatever you want.

I want you to make me a mother. (inhale)

-In the mother! -Yes, mother.

Mother.

Yeah.

(gasps)

Mother.

Yeah.

-Mother? -Yes!

(gasps) What's going on?

The thing is...

...I almost fainted.

I'll take care of preparing everything...

-...and you make sure it is... -Yes.

(exhalation) ...unforgettable...

-...and accurate. -Of course.

Hey, I'm going to need one of my friends.

H-how to a friend, my love, if with you...

...well I couldn't, imagine now with another...

...how do you think...

So that you may be my whore.

As?

Well yes, I need a prostitute...

...or a pimp, whatever you call it.

The point is, I need someone to help me...

...with the pregnancy because Mrs. Rotunda...

...the truth is that she's already old and she won't be able to keep up with me.

Well yes, but don't offer him too much, okay?

-Just a little, very little. -Oh.

Oh!

(chirps / birds)

(chirps / birds)

Come on, don't make a big deal out of it...

...that the kiss was for Jerry!

And this idiot hasn't even noticed...

(inhalation) (exhalation)

...of the delicacy I got him.

My beloved Jerry...

...companion in so many battles...

...this...

...will be your last mission.

Stand up for the last time...

...and then I'll bury you.

Well, that sounds logical...

...the illogical thing is that he is dead...

...doesn't stiffen.

No, no, no, no, if you don't look down on me...

...I'm not scolding you...

...the only thing I want to tell you is...

...is that you complete this mission for the last time...

...and then I'll let you die in peace.

He will raise you from the grave.

Well, paradoxically...

...then I'll bury you.

But how?

And as I had already told you...

...I'm going to be a mother...

...and I'm going to need a lot of help, who's up for it?

-Me. -Me.

-Me! -Me! Me.

-Who needs the job more? -Me.

Oh, I just got fired.

I need a job.

I have to take care of a child.

You don't even have a child.

I'm going to have a child at some point.

-Me too, three. -Now!

What do you think...

...if I take them both and they help me more.

Yessss! (screams)

But they're going for a salary...

...and they have to be very responsible.

(♪ ♪)

And then...

...you add this concoction...

And in the end...

...you strain everything.

(♪ ♪)

And you take it to the swimming pool.

-Mande. -A la swimming pool.

No, I don't leave the town.

To the pool.

We'll be waiting for you there with your maxi bikini.

Maxi mega.

Lorenito, what do I do?

Help me.

Oh, well, prepare a little surprise for him.

Well, what do you think?

Lick her whole body...

...bite his ears...

...squeeze her buttocks. (moans)

Really?

Well, my queen...

...I'm going to leave you because I'm getting turned on.

A kiss. A kiss.

(moan)

(moan)

Really?

Ladies.

What happened to your maxi bikini, Mrs. Rotunda?

You're falling behind us, ma'am.

I never stay behind.

The maxi bikini...

...to the maxi wash.

(shouting)

(laughs)

(shouting)

(close / door)

(creaking / door)

Oh...

...muyers!

You look so good, my love!

(kisses)

-How are you? -Very well, come in, welcome.

Mira...

...I have an acquaintance...

...Laisequilla, he's a doctor...

...why don't you see it?

Oh really?

It's just that I don't have much money, but...

What do you say, Polaris?

I would never live with a woman.

Let's change the subject and talk about something more pleasant...

...want?

Ah, of course, Polaris.

I was imagining...

...when we can tell him...

...Laurenita...

...of my sweet life.

Oh, mamacita! (laughter)

That sounds so nice.

Yes, over my dead body.

Well, you take care of the queen for me.

Of course, I send him your regards.

Although you know that my duty is...

...take care of the one who is in a hurry...

...again, again.

(laughs)

(exhalation)

(doorbell / phone)

Well, gentlemen...

...I think it's time for me to retire.

I've had a blast...

...wonderfully well.

-Please. -Very nice.

Oh, by the way...

...Lorenito, you're left with...

...spectacular...

...the pasta.

-Send me a message, okay? -Ok.

(singing / crickets)

(exhalation)

(singing / crickets)

That?

What do you think I didn't notice, you little bitch!

Oh yes, "your pasta turned out very good."

They were texting in my face!

Fucking pair of assholes.

Keep sucking, my patron saint.

I can't reach it, that's the problem, man!

I'd better give him a drink.

(laughs)

-Enough! -What's wrong with you, dude...

-...it's not that bad! -How "it's not that bad"...

...you're just making fun of it!

You must have a very big one.

And besides, it must be ugly, I imagine.

Do you want me to prove you wrong?

-I'll prove you wrong. -Well, come on!

-Come on! -Pour me another drink.

Of course, my beautiful lord.

To show you that, that, that it does work for me...

...that I am more of a dwarf.

Hey, and he says he's smaller.

You didn't understand, dude, the thing is that I'm...

...more in-year.

Year, in-year.

Look, look, come on, come on please, let's go now...

-...my saint... -No, let's go!

Let's move along!

And that's what I would like to get heavy on.

-Come on, dude! -Come on, dude, come on!

-Here we are going to play, here. -Come on.

-Okay. -Well, do it over there.

-Over here. -Come on, from here.

-From here. -Come on, come on, son of a...

What's up? You can't even find her.

He's going to get scared, what?

(laughs) Is anyone there?

(laughs)

Yes.

Yeah. (laughs)

-Sir. -Mhm?

-Come with me. -What, are you going to sing or something?

To the door!

What the hell! Don't they know who I am?

Look, it's the senator.

That's me...

...Mr. Senator!

What, you didn't vote for me?

Uh, with that sad face, I think...

...they voted for you know who...

...like everyone, Jimeno.

Don senator...

...it seems to me that dinner tonight...

...but somewhere else, come on!

Pérese. ¡Suéltenme, suéltenme!

-Oh, you better grab me... -Come on!

Be careful, they're going to hurt him.

-See you, ex-friend! -"Ex-friend".

Which ex-friend?

Go on, take it!

(moan)

So, let's see, like this.

Okay, come on, come on, open your eyes.

Let's go here, let's go there.

-You know what, Jimenito? -Tell me, boss.

I'm going to drive...

...because I see you very blurry.

Uh, yeah, yeah, boss.

Little dog...

...he was glad...

...the session in Congress was extended.

...they wouldn't let me out.

Puppy. (clears throat)

(exhalation)

(stomach noise)

Puppy. (stomach noise)

My love.

'Little squirt.

Look at me, 'Chorrita.' (stomach noise)

Very good.

I'll give you a four so you can see.

Mira.

It was easy.

(stomach noise) Puppy.

'Little squirt.

I'm here!

By...

...I'm here. Let's move along.

Come on.

Strengthen me, my life.

Come on, my love, no, I wanted it.

(stomach noise)

(gasps)

(stomach noise)

(noise / vomit)

Damn pirrín Jerry...

...just look at her, man...

...is an angel...

...and you, an angel...

...but fallen, chihuahua!

Just get up so you can see her, Jerry!

Damn idiot, Jerry!

They say it's very sad when a friend leaves...

...or when a friend no longer comes.

Come on, little one, get up...

...tete.

Get out of there, you bastard!

...it's teté.

Who are you talking to, Eruviel?

Come on, if you can't handle one, you can't handle two!

Dude, wake up! (snoring)

Wake up, wake up!

I'm going to find something for you.

(snoring)

(snoring)

Can I help you with anything else, Mr. Eruviel?

-Raw? -No...

...it looks like it's well cooked...

...well, Rotunda is a really good cook, look.

I woke up with an upset stomach.

Why do you eat like that?

What, you've never been hungry, or something? Because I have.

No, no, yes, in fact yes, very hungry.

(clears throat) Look...

...I have a lot of work.

It is important that my candidate wins the nomination.

Excuse the redundancy, right?

Mhm, and aren't you justifying yourself?

Of course not.

What happens is that...

...well that's the life of a politician.

Well, you better, Eruviel...

...so that every morning you don't have to do it...

...a few quarters to justify yourself.

I'm not justifying myself, woman!

Look, I'm going to find a doctor today...

...so that you can examine me.

What should I examine you for?

Well, about our little problem.

Aaah, about your little problem.

(clearing throat)

You know what? I'm no longer hungry.

I'd better get to work, okay? Excuse me.

Here you greet me in the Chamber of Deputies.

My life, the "diputotes" are your little friends.

They...

...I am a senator.

Well, have me dinner!

Oh, I wish...

...but I just had breakfast. Excuse me.

(exhalation)

What? What are you doing there? Come on!

What, what is that sigh?

Let's see, I need you to tell me something...

...do you think he has another old lady?

Most likely.

Yeah.

Mrs. Rotunda surely knows something.

Mrs. Rotunda!

Tell me, sir... madam.

Yes, yes, I am a miss.

Forcibly.

Pisale, Jimeno.

I would like to step on him, step on him more.

Hit the gas, we're 30 minutes late.

I don't like being late to sessions...

...waking up my colleagues in the Senate.

Everything alright, my boss?

Yes, why?

It doesn't look good at all.

Well, all bad, Jimeno.

I can't lie to you...

...you are my friend...

...my confidant...

...who I trust the most...

...are you...

...who licks it for me...

...the hand, my faithful dog.

Yes, I'm like a faithful dog.

Always.

Oh, and also, I like to pee on trees.

I mean, just spill the beans.

Yes, I can't fool you, Jimeno...

...what happens is that...

...my lifelong partner...

...my little Jerry...

...he doesn't want to wake up...

...he's all asleep, all drowsy...

...and newly married.

Can you imagine the mess I've gotten myself into?

Ah, now as they say...

...look at the mess he got into...

...for not putting it in.

Watch out! (horn)

Look!

Jimeno...

...you have to find a solution to this.

-Nicola. -I copy.

I need you to run to the market...

...and bring me a 700-vein ancho chili...

...a head of garlic soaked in Zacapu milk...

...a chorizo ​​of the highest quality...

...I don't care if you bring that one from somewhere else.

...a kilo of peanuts in a canvas sack...

...and lots of dark chocolate...

...guy, double ration.

No, no, triple portion.

Are you sending me to the market...

...or are you teasing me?

Run, run.

(sound / water)

Tough battle...

...because love lasts...

...what lasts lasts.

And I get tired of ours lasting.

It lasts like that.

I just get dressed and leave.

No, go like that, we don't have time to waste.

Already run it!

(exhalation)

"Seduce your man with 100 positions."

Let's see.

I know them all. (snap / mouth)

Oh, damn, am I missing four?

No.

Iphigenia, grab a banana...

...two tomatoes, a quince...

...and we'll see each other in my bedroom.

Hello good.

Oh! What's he going to wear?

Yes, look...

...I'm looking for this.

Check yourself out, bro.

Oh, my daughter, I don't have ancho chili...

...but I have the pasilla chili...

...that one is 700 veins.

There it goes.

And the head of garlic...

...I'm going to change that one...

...for sweet potato...

...for exportable consumption.

Just look how delicious it will be.

The chorizo...

...I put the chorizo ​​in the bag...

...but peanuts...

...I get them used to changing...

...for pumpkin bars.

Listen.

-Hey! -Tell me.

But does it have the same effect?

Wow, even better.

What's more, I'm going to give him his dark chocolate...

...and I'll summarize the account.

It's going to be seventy pesos.

Oh!

Now I'll let her go-ineo.

No modo.

Well, no way.

Collect.

Oh, I'm getting paid.

(♪ ♪)

Oh!

There goes your change.

And my chorizo?

Oh!

Be very careful not to fall.

Good luck, little merchant.

Thank you.

Good luck to you.

(noise / mouth) Oh...

...my children, life is a gift...

...and you have to smile.

(risa)

What? Come on, stop laughing...

...I want you to help me get these out.

(exhalation)

(risa)

Dionisia, now it's really slipped out...

-...a screw. -Shut up...

...and learn them.

Let's see, bridge, bridge, bridge.

It's just that I think, I think that...

No! (laughs)

No, no, it's just that I don't...

Get on the floor, get on the floor...

That's it, like that, Oops, kitty.

(laughs)

Don't fix it.

(♪ ♪)

Did you know?

Give me that one you have there, like chocolate...

...and the red one and the little one in the back.

-Like this? -Yes.

Can I help you with anything else?

I wish. (snap / mouth)

Do you think this is enough?

What thing?

Nothing, sorry, I was thinking out loud.

(chirps / birds)

Let's go.

Take the afternoon off, Jimeno, I'll go home alone.

Oh, boss...

...are you really...

Are you completely safe?

Wow.

Look, I'll be at the bar if you need me.

Isn't tonight a night for inverts?

Of weirdos, then.

Uh, yeah, it's just that...

...I'm going to see some good friends there.

Oh, and also, I'm going to try...

...that thing about...

...of his little problem.

Ah, I understand.

Hey, but don't tell anyone...

...that I am carrying the dead man.

No, no, don't worry.

Remember my mouth is always sealed.

Go in peace.

Thank you very much, Jimeno.

Don't you dare sing that song you sang to me again.

Nooo, how do you think?

She looked pretty, didn't she?

Now my old man is not going to finish it.

(chirps / birds)

(doorbell / phone)

(doorbell / phone)

(doorbell / phone)

♪ It's youuu...♪

♪...the one that provokes... (doorbell / phone)

♪...my sleepless nights.

♪Well, just think... (bell / phone)

♪...so much in you...

He doesn't answer me.

Oh, maybe you'll jump in after a while.

Obvious.

(laughs)

(screams) (laughter)

♪The man is a whore...

♪...what a fucking trustworthy...

♪...and fuck the one who has his tastes...♪

♪...I feel like it...

♪...fucking stipend...

♪...that is offered...

♪...in payment for his whore...

♪...company.

♪Fucking is the pleasure...

♪...and damn the joy...

♪...that the whoring time...

♪...makes us more expensive...

♪...and I'll say he's a faggot...

♪...who seems...

♪...you're not a whore...

♪...my lady.

(♪ ♪)

♪The man is a whore...

♪...what a fucking trust...

♪...fuck the one who has his tastes...

♪...I feel like it...

♪...fucking stipend...

♪...that is offered...

♪...in payment for his whore...

♪...company.

♪Fucking is the pleasure...

♪...and damn the joy...

♪...that the whoring time...

♪...makes us more expensive...

♪...and I'll say he's a faggot...

♪...who seems...

♪...are you a whore, lady...♪

♪...myaaaa...

♪...aaa...

♪...aaa.

I love you, my little bitches.

Much love to all.

Thank you. (applause)

Did you miss anything?

No, not at all, it's going to be fine...

(noise / mouth)

Wow, seeing this already made me want to, didn't you?

Oh, of course, very much so.

Well, dear...

...good luck.

Oh yes.

Have a nice time.

And that generates.

If it doesn't get up after that...

...ah...

...I don't mind.

(♪ ♪)

(♪ ♪)

Don't say anything...

...why...

...tonight...

...it's our night.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

Mmm.

-Rich. -Yes?

Yeah.

(♪ ♪)

-Mmm. -¿Mjm?

Mmm.

(♪ ♪)

Mmm.

(♪ ♪)

(♪ ♪)

(♪ ♪)

Mrs. Rotunda, we need more coffee.

Here it is.

(mumbles)

It's better to leave her alone.

(sobs)

If you need anything, we'll be there...

...doing chores in the pool.

Great idea, I'll help you.

You two aren't going anywhere...

...until I tell you everything that didn't happen.

-Did you hear me? -Yes.

That goes for you too, so sit down.

(♪ ♪)

Who am I?

How silly you are, Bacchus...

...if you've smelled the same since elementary school.

What do I owe the miracle to?

Well, it's that...

...I have some arguments with my girlfriend and...

...well, since they are the same age...

...I thought you could give me some advice.

Sure, tell me.

Nothing more than...

...the advice will cost you.

-Whatever. -Yes?

Spread it all over my body.

(♪ ♪)

Can you unbutton my bikini?

...if you like.

Can I help you?

(♪ ♪)

You see I have a good hand?

Mmmm.

You can continue along the legs...

...if you like.

(♪ ♪)

How, so fast?

-Oh. -Baco?

Sorry, that wasn't my intention.

I, I think it's better for you to go, Bacchus.

-Bacchus. -Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Hey, bye, mommy.

Since you are my father's wife, I told you...

...stepmother.

I understand you now.

Goodbye, son.

Bye, mommy.

Stepmother.

(♪ ♪)

Where are you going?

(♪ ♪)

Do you know who we are, daddy?

My stepmother's maids.

Your ladies of love, fool.

(♪ ♪)

(shout)

My boy.

(♪ ♪)

(♪ ♪)

(♪ ♪)

(♪ ♪)

(whistles)

They're causing a ruckus here in the Senate...

...with that new law they just passed.

A new law? And what law was it, boss?

I don't know, I was asleep, Jimeno. Let's go.

I was asleep. Oh, what the heck.

And you haven't thought...

...on something other than pills?

Well yes, sometimes I smoke a joint...

...but my head hurts a lot...

...and it's not healthy either...

...which is what I need.

Exactly.

What you need is...

...wild women...

...abusive, controlling.

Well yes, that's what I need.

Because since my mother died...

...and I divorced that slut...

...well, I haven't been with another new woman since.

And the one she has right now is a girl.

She's almost a little woman.

Well, the "almost" is what sucks.

But we're going to save him.

We have to get to work, boss.

Well, I'm telling you, I can't handle either one.

Well, let's go Orandus.

♪Let's save our...

♪...patronage.

You're going to crash, you jerk.

¡Dale!

♪I must confess...

♪...you're the reason, you are the reason...♪

And this one?

He is the Terrifying Isidore.

Let's say he's our guide...

...our teacher.

Let's say a guru...

...of sexual sex.

All this...

...it is to recover the goodness of our friendship.

Look, the truth is that I do miss you, bro.

Ex-exam friend...

...Terrifying Isidoro.

Let's take flight of the bird.

Thanks for giving me a hand.

(♪ ♪)

(singing / crickets)

(singing / crickets)

(singing / crickets)

(♪ ♪)

I say, what happened? I say a little hug...

...and a little kiss, I mean, at least, what not?

Let's see, now you're going to tell me the mystery...

...why you made me come on my non-working day?

Oh, don't worry...

...I'm going to pay you a day and a half of your minimum wage...

-...as the law says, okay? -Mjm.

Look, here comes my ex-friend...

...the senator who has now become my friend again.

Ah, yes, that rude one.

That grouper.

-And what do you think? -What?

Well, he doesn't have an umbrella.

No stop... He can't stop.

But that's no secret.

So you know, huh?

I vehemently trust...

...in which you will be able to lift him up...

...I say, cheers to my friend...

...I mean, to his friend...

...with those skills you have, little one.

(imitation/barking)

You were the miracle worker.

What the hell...

...Senator, come in, serve yourself with...

...big spoon.

(groans)

Let's bury that secret of yours well.

Bury it.

Hopefully.

'What Jerry.

(clearing throat)

I'll leave them alone to their own devices, okay?

(risa)

Hard, Eruviel, hard as rock.

Yes we can, yes we can!

Yes we can! Yes we can!

(♪ ♪)

Tiny.

But it's messy, didn't you even like it?

He's enchanted, you follow him.

(groans)

That's lovely!

(groans)

Oh, like that, like that.

But nothing came of it...

-...he didn't even get a stop. -Oh, well.

I get excited inside, man, well, to each his own, right?

Don't be a jerk, Senator.

If the bitch is another, I say.

How rude.

(risa)

We're playing your game.

-My game? -The cat.

'Ga your mother!

No, yeah, I already screwed you, look.

-Ah. -So soon, boss?

I see you are very quiet...

...more upset than usual, how did it go?

Man, that woman is an animal, Isidoro...

...scratched all my legs.

(inhalation) We were there hard and go...

...hard and keep going...

-Come on, "without stopping." -Jerry without stopping.

I had to fake an orgasm.

-And I swallow it? -Yes, of course.

-I'm talking about the orgasm. -Well, no.

With so much power and without fury.

How is that, boss?

Well, with all the power I have...

...and not being able to...

...to debut my little virgin princess.

Stop!

Oh, how easy! They're talking to you, Jerry, stop!

Look, how is he going to stop just like that, Isidoro...

...if he doesn't even pay attention to me.

Not that one, dude. Stop the car, Jimeno.

The thing is, you...

...you like girls.

Not necessarily.

Be quiet!

You like them tender and smelling of talcum powder.

That's why you got married, cooon...

...that fetus.

Hey, don't call my puppy a fetus.

If I remember correctly, at the wedding...

...her friends...

Hey, they weren't bad looking.

Uh, of course not.

And besides, they are so fun.

That's it!

Throw a party for your little one...

...invite all her friends...

...with strict topless.

And for what reason?

Pus with the reason that pus doesn't soften you...

...you are not hoisted, you are not lifted...

...and seeing so many naked puppies...

...well I say, let's see if it suits you, like this...

(babbling)

For what reason...

...should I tell my puppy about the party?

Ah, well it's Children's Day...

...and you bring him piñatas and balloons.

-What? -Piñatas!

Ah.

Hey, that's not a bad idea.

That seems fine to me.

(♪ ♪)

(shouting)

(shouting)

(♪ ♪)

(babbling) That's it, that's it.

Let's see, infants...

...infants, oh, infants.

Let's see, let's see, pay attention.

Attention, we're going to play a game...

...beautiful.

El mega table swim...

...which is in fashion...

...in all the fine slums...

...of the Frenchman.

It's about choosing at random...

...among the gentlemen who accompany us...

...aaa...

...aaa...

Look, what a coincidence!

None other than our host.

A round of applause, a round of applause, please, eh, ah.

Attention.

Each one will pass in front of him...

...dancing beautifully, beautifully...

...beautiful, beautiful.

Now I understand why you told me to bring just old women.

It'll be good for you. Don't worry, don't worry.

I chose him democratically...

...al azar.

Uh, uh, uh, uh.

(laughs)

(shouting)

(♪ ♪)

This better work.

Girls, girls, girls, girls, now, now, now.

Let him go. Rotunda, let him go!

Let it go!

That's it, okay. Let's see, let's see, let's see.

Come, my king, come.

The rest of the little game...

...it's going to be private now.

Come here, Dionisia.

That, oops.

No, no, no. Please come in.

The baton, the baton, the baton, let's see.

Birdseed, barley and corn...

...birdseed, barley and corn...

...that Eruviel gets a little bird!

(♪ ♪)

(♪ ♪)

Oh, no!

Is it my imagination or have I never been so little?

It's just that, uh, uh...

...he is shy, because he feels sorry for you.

But the thing is, the water is also really cold...

...my love, it's cold.

Do you know what the problem is?

Even if you're dead, that's not going to make you stiff.

Well that's the problem...

...he's already dead.

You don't make me happy at all, Jerry.

You and I have a pending conversation, daddy.

Wake up, I'm talking to you!

Hey, this isn't fair what you're doing to me, Jerry.

You're going too far.

Let's see, that's enough!

You're going to tell me which cat you're talking to...

...and don't even say no because you do it all the time!

No, puppy, how could you think that of me, how...

I'm not leaving here until you explain it to me.

Okay, let me explain.

I'm waiting for you.

Wait, I feel sorry for you, just like that...

...well wait for me.

Let me catch my breath. (gasp)

His name is Jerry, and I talk to him all the time...

...apart from you.

You're a faggot.

No, you don't think so! No.

Everything but turned over, what happened!

-What is this? -A little monkey.

You're a pervert, a filthy and sly!

No, no, no, no, how do you think?

Uh, the thing is...

...I'm confused.

It's just that, look, this brings me very...

...very, very stressed, and it doesn't even let me think.

But I'll solve it, eh?

How about you go to the beach for a few days...

...to enjoy the sea, a vacation?

And when you come back this will be solved.

Do you like it, yes?

Well, yes I do.

Do you want to? Fine.

(♪ ♪)

-Did you throw away the beers, missy? -Yes, my dear.

You are an angel.

Mhm.

Take care of yourself, puppy...

...and forgive me for everything, okay?

Look, when you come back everything will be different.

We'll even have a puppy. (imitation / roar)

(laughs) You're unrecognizable.

But you're going to have to promise me that.

I'll promise you.

(risa)

And you guys behave yourselves and take good care of her, okay?

-That's not even close. -Eh.

Bye, pa, goodbye...

...leave.

Ah, wait.

Do you know why your name is Bacchus?

-Why, pa? -Because Baco-ger.

Well, look at how they are.

(noise / mouth)

They were one of my options, but...

(snap / mouth)

...Goyita facilitated the conquest.

Come on then, take care of her for me.

Don't let it go.

Come on.

(inhalation)

(exhalation)

I love her like my life.

It seems that she loves him just the same.

You think?

(Lorenito:) I can't stand this situation anymore...

...I don't have any money...

...that brat doesn't give me a penny.

I already told you to make an appointment...

...with Dr. Laisequilla, he's really good.

And with what eyes...

...those doctors are very expensive.

Mira...

...look beneath you...

...I have a little surprise for you.

(chirps / birds)

(sound / water)

Oh, Jimeno...

...what a joy, you shouldn't have done that.

You know, it's to help you.

OK, thanks a lot.

An idea is coming to me.

Don't worry, I'll talk to the doctor.

Well, there is already a lot, a lot to do.

No, no, don't tell me that, doctor.

...give me a hand.

What good is so much money to me?

I think there might be some alternatives.

Yeah?

But I'm not going to stop eating meat, right?

No, no, look, I'm going to start investigating...

...and, and we'll see what happens, in the meantime...

...I'm going to send you some...

...some masturbatory exercises...

...try to get yourself a blow-up doll...

...or something like that.

GOOD.

Very sorry.

Well, I don't feel sorry at all, doctor.

(♪ ♪)

Get up.

Oh, you greedy girl, you are a...

...sleeper.

¡Jerry!

(♪ ♪)

(♪ ♪)

(gasps)

-On toy? -He's at home.

What happened is that he got poisoned...

...he didn't listen to me regarding the doses I indicated.

¡Doctor!

I'm desperate...

...I'm so hungry...

...and with the bread in front.

Look, don't worry about it...

...I already told you there are other alternatives...

...there is a solution for everything.

And speaking of alternatives and solutions...

...well, I think we'll look for an alternative...

...to his little problem of...

(whistle)

...so that in a short time...

(whistle)

...because there may be other options, boss.

-Mhm. -That's what I tell you.

Yes, doctor.

(♪ ♪)

(laughs)

(♪ ♪)

(laughs)

(shout)

(shout)

(♪ ♪)

(shout)

(♪ ♪)

(shout)

(♪ ♪)

(noise / fire)

And what happened this morning?

Oh, nothing out of the ordinary...

...we continued the party in the room...

...and we decided to light some candles...

...but just to make the atmosphere ad hoc...

...in our situation, right?

-Yes. -But then...

...a flame was lit between us...

...we thought it was our passion.

The candles were well lit.

And that's how they lost their belongings...

...and burned the presidential suite.

Even our clothes.

You are...

-Brothers. -No.

You're actually like my son.

But you know what? Let's not even go into details.

Do you know how much this incident is going to cost you?

No, but...

...don't worry because I did rescue this one...

...then charge and...

...could you get us something to wear?

The only thing I can get you are uniforms.

-Well, that's fine. -That's fine.

(♪ ♪)

-Mrs. Goyita. -Lorraine!

How are you? Hello, my darling.

I need to consult it.

Let me see if I have room.

Lorenito, you're in luck...

...I have space today at a quarter past seven.

Ok, fine, we don't see each other at night.

-I'll wait for you here, sweetheart. -Bye, my queen.

A little kiss.

(Eruviel:) Let's see, let's see...

...a round for everyone.

That's right, my dear Isidoro...

...serve them all.

-Me too? -You too, cutie.

To all!

After all, my work pays off...

...that is, you.

And this is for me...

...almost dead friend...

...my little Jerry.

Oh, Jerry...

...why did you die first...

...if we were born together?

Cheers, Jerry.

Cheers to Jerry...

...or that little thing.

¡Shh, shh, shh!

Cheers to all...

...my friends!

Cheers!

(♪ ♪)

Your future isn't very promising, Eruviel.

Don't tell me that, Mrs. Goyita...

...dooms me to failure.

You'll have to ask Jerry.

Oh, Doña Goyita, like Jerry, like Jerry.

Well, to talk to Jerry we need a medium...

...well if that's the problem, he's dead.

-Sure, unless... -What?

-...or the green ones. -What's wrong with them?

No, well that's the least of it, Mrs. Goyita.

Well, if you had told me that's where we would have started...

...what I went through wouldn't have happened to me, man.

Here you go.

Let's see, let's...

Ah, mmm.

-Nothing yet, you take it out, you take it out. -Here.

Yes?

Mmm, yes.

-Do you see anything? -Yes, I see.

It seems to me that she went to the future, Doña Goyita...

...I only occupy the present, tell me what, what, what do you see.

Everything indicates to me that your solution...

...will be the remedy for another evil.

(exhalation) Remember that I am a politician...

...tell me clearly, what do you mean?

I don't know, but...

...you'll have to wait until midnight...

...to receive a call.

Man! What are you doing here?

Well, consulting me, and you?

-Well, I came for the same reason. -Ah.

And everything okay?

No, very bad, and you?

No, well, that's also very bad.

Well, let it continue to go badly for him.

Ah, well anyway...

...that things continue to go very badly for him.

Thank you.

Mrs. Goyita.

(doorbell / phone)

Doctor Laisequilla, how are you?

What's up, Senator? I've got your solution...

...but it's going to come out in a flash.

No, what matters, the fair doesn't matter, doctor, you know.

Have you heard of the resurrection of the dead?

Yes, of course, of course.

Well, this has nothing to do with it really...

...it's more like, like, like...

What do you mean, doctor, what do you mean?

As if we were going to extract his living limb...

...to an inert donor...

...and we're going to place it on you.

From behind, doctor?

Well, wherever you like.

No, doctor, what happened? Oh, yeah, I understand now.

They're going to take it away from him and cut it off from me...

...and they're going to give it to me, doctor.

And then you accept?

If what there is is better than what I bring...

...of course I accept, doctor.

Well, look, let's see what we find...

...the most important thing is that it matches...

...I mean, the color, right?

We will make history with this operation...

...for the first time in Latin America.

And I have the ideal donor.

-Really? -Correct.

And believe me, it will be a great blessing to you...

...make this donation.

What a surprise, doctor!

That's right, but look...

...each option has its cost...

...if you want us to just install...

...the lifting system...

...it will cost you so much.

(♪ ♪)

But...

...if you want the complete package...

...that is, balls and all...

...which is what I recommend...

...would come out in this.

(♪ ♪)

Listen, doctor, but I'm not going to look like a pool table...

...with so much balls.

Well, look, we take out some and put in the others.

Ah, I understand now.

No, the whole package.

-That's what I recommend. -Well, we're here.

Allow me, allow me.

(♪ ♪)

Here it is.

-And here's the thing about the balls. -Oh, okay.

It was in euros, but that's fine.

-Ah. -Okay.

Look, what I wanted to tell you...

...we have to run some tests on them...

...to see if you are compatible.

If they are not compatible, is there a refund?

It's a risk that has to be taken.

God willing, it may be so.

God and science willing.

(♪ ♪)

Dionisia, Dionisia, forgive me!

Today we will be able to do it!

(called / door) Dionisia!

(called / door)

Dionisia, my horny little puppy!

(knocked / door) Forgive me, little one!

Look, I know you're in a hurry...

...eager, then. (knock / door)

Don't forgive him, better that he keeps us.

I don't forgive you.

(called / door) Dionisia!

(called / door)

Dionisia, my horny little puppy!

Let's see, I've already jumped out of there...

...but you better go because he'll definitely come back.

Run!

(exhalation)

Look, my little queen, it's very simple...

...like with my system...

...well, as for elevation, it no longer works...

...well then...

...well, they got a donor so they can put me...

-...well, a new one, eh... -Pirrín.

Exactly, a new pirrín.

But we're not going to call him "Jerry" anymore, are we?

-Another name. -But, let's see...

...where are you going to get this new...

..."lifting system"?

(exhalation) A poor devil...

...has and has children...

...then well, so that she doesn't have any more children...

...they're going to rip it out and give it to me...

...and best of all...

...it comes with the whole package.

Package?

Just to keep you entertained, my life.

Oh, well, let's see if this is true.

Now yes.

-Ready, rascal? -Yes.

Let's go.

Doctor, is there no way the test can be declared invalid?

How null?

Deserted, that is to say...

...that Lorenito is not compatible.

Well yes, there would be a way.

But the truth is...

...I don't think you'll reach my price.

The client, that is, the receiver...

...he is a wealthy, very powerful person...

...and paid me in advance.

Oh, your boyfriend, huh?

His things.

(♪ ♪)

Lorenito...

...you are a perfect match for our patient...

...we will be able to perform a sex change on you.

So...

...yes, you will be able to donate your male reproductive system...

...to this good man.

Well, to this "almost" good man...

...which with your help will be...

...a good all-round man...

...and you're going to stop having so many children...

...that you're already making a football team...

...complete it all by yourself.

Thank you, doctor.

-I'm happy for you, huh? -Thank you very much.

Well my love...

...with all this wonder that is happening to me in life...

...I'm finally going to separate from you.

To my health.

Take it, it's really good.

(singing / crickets)

Well...

...they say red wine is good for your skin.

(♪ ♪)

This is all my fault, right?

No, little dog.

I promised you and here I am.

I know, thanks.

Look, if I die...

...I'll die trying to give you a good one...

Shh, it won't happen.

Of course it's going to happen...

...that's what it's all about, my life.

-Good luck, brave one. -Yes.

Say goodbye to Jerry, my love.

Where are you going, faggot?

What do you want, dog? I'm not afraid of you anymore!

Where are you going if you are my faithful little dog?

No problem.

How curious...

...a dagger wanting to kill with a dagger...

...to a shovel. Excuse me.

You're a bit of a jerk.

No, it was an easy whistle...

...now that I'm a lady...

...I'm a quickie.

Let me go, now I'm really going to make a scene!

(♪ ♪)

How are you?

Well, we're going to do everything we can...

...for the operation to be a success...

...but if the donor doesn't arrive...

...things are going to get really tough.

Oh, on the contrary...

...only if it arrives...

...things are going to get very tough.

(♪ ♪)

Look, there it comes.

(applause)

The operation was a complete success...

...the patients are recovering...

...and very soon you will be able to see them.

Do you want to keep them?

No, thanks.

(♪ ♪)

(♪ ♪)

Note that with the operation...

Health.

...I feel like I have more power.

And right at this moment...

...the deadline is approaching...

...of the stipulated recovery...

...by the doctor.

So, maybe now we can have...

-...twins. -Or triplets.

Or quadruplets.

-Or quintuplets. -Or sextuplets.

Or septimulants.

Or whatever comes after that.

Or sixty-ninetuplets.

I love you.

(♪ ♪)

♪Today you're going to get laid...

♪...today you're going to get laid.

(humming)

Because tonight...

...you make me a mother.

Tonight I'll make you claws.

(imitation/roar)

(♪ ♪)

(roar)

(risa)

(groans)

Chiquita.

Chiquita.

(panting)

(groans)

No, woman, man, don't be stubborn!

-Come here and make me a woman! -When, when you can't...

-...you can't. -No, you can!

Jimeno! When you can't...

...you can't, don't be stubborn!

If possible!

Jimeno, the soldier doesn't want to stand firm.

The soldier!

Well, I see that little soldier as very firm.

Ah, actually, I know him.

Oh, really? Then kiss him hello, you rude bastard.

What happened, boss?

-Doctor, oh, what a shame. -How are you?

-Good night. -Good night.

I just wanted to explain to you that, look...

...there was a remote possibility that...

...Lorenito's acrobat hormones...

...were imposed on yours...

...and that's what's happening, but don't worry...

-...there's a solution to everything. -Yes.

Yes, we're going to fix it.

-How? -No, no.

I, I'll kill him!

-Me too. -How are they going to kill him!

- Charlatan, charlatan! - Please be careful!

(sobs)

You got me into this mess, Grandma...

...and I don't know how you're going to do it...

...but I have to get pregnant...

...or we'll be left on the street.

Enough, Dionysia...

...get out of here and take a pregnancy test.

Oh, why bother!

If not even once has that damn old man been able to get a hard on.

Not him...

...but...

Oh no, now, shut up or I'll faint!

Negative.

Negative.

I'm pregnant!

(shouting)

At last!

Are you ready for anything?

-No. -Let's see, asshole...

...you have to say yes.

Come on, you, give him a shot of mezcal.

Let's see. You know what? Pour me one too.

And you already know what to do.

And how do I know which pills they are?

Shut up, idiot.

Tranquilizers and give him one, two, three...

...seven, the boat to the gulp. (exhalation)

Ok.

Serve us.

Do you forgive me?

How do you ask me to forgive you...

...if you just changed the concept...

...that I had of you.

Relax.

Pecora...

...freckled...

...forever...

-...esdrújula and consonant... -Dad!

Who did you put the bikini helmet on me with!

-With whom? -Wait, dad.

This must be resolved in a peaceful manner.

You get out of the way, you pacifist idiot...

...that this has nothing to do with you!

Why are they so quiet?

Shall we tell him?

Tell me what?

Yes, yes we will tell him, but...

...first health.

To the bottom, my love.

(exhalation)

You tell him, he's your dad.

Well, pa, she...

...is going to have a Baquito.

That!

Spleen!

You got pregnant with Bacchus!

It's not possible!

You threw away your own son!

(exhalation) He could do it.

And you...

...why if you were in such a hurry...

...didn't you go to the Rotunda?

Oh, yeah, forgive me.

I'm going to make you pâté.

I'm going to swallow you...

...sinful beggar!

It is supposed that...

...that you were an innocent little girl...

...a little virgin.

Ah, ah, ah...

...I told you from the beginning...

..."almost virgin".

And start seeing it from the bright side now...

-...that you're going to be a dad-grandpa. -What?

Yeah, look, you can see it like that...

...I gave our little boy...

...like the good stepmother that I am...

...a few sex education classes...

...super practical...

...but only with the intention of making him feel stupid.

And it was removed?

-Mmm. -Yes?

That's my son!

Bacchus, come, come.

What if she was almost a virgin?

Mhm.

Okay, bye.

Huy...

...Jerry, you son of a bitch...

-What, what, what, what? -Dad.

-Dad. -Let's see. Mrs. Rotunda!

-What happened? -My love, wake up now!

(♪ ♪)

Oh, my father-in-law is waking up now!

My husband.

So you gave me godfather by my own horn.

You cheated on me with my own son.

Yeah.

But the child has your same blood...

...so no one has to find out...

-...you can't get it up... -Sht, lower your voice.

-Lower your voice! -...calm down.

And, I don't know...

...we can pretend the child is yours...

...I mean, just so the buffoons...

...of politicians and paparazzi...

...do not tarnish your name.

All in all, it's not your fault...

...you were, you were more excited than a soldering iron...

...for the death of the reptile.

What death of the reptile...

...it's called erectile dysfunction.

Well, in this case it's the same...

...the viper lay dead there, dead, then.

Well, I want you to forgive me and...

...yyy, um, and I forgive you too, and...

...and on behalf of the newest member of the family...

...the little soldier, who won't give you...

Let's see, my love, now.

(exhalation)

It's okay, I forgive you.

But...

...no one outside this family should know anything, okay?

Yes, but just... (whistle)

GOOD.

Starting today...

...we're going to open a bank account...

...to give them half of my fortune.

Yes, we think that's very good.

Ah, fuck, well, I'm not campaigning, you see?

No, no, no, with a tenth of my money...

...in the end it's a lot of money.

(♪ ♪)

(crying / baby) (♪ ♪)

The servant of God is baptized...

...Baca Eruviela.

In the name of the Father...

...and of the Son...

...and the Holy Spirit.

-Amen. -Amen.

Amen.

(crying / baby)

(mumbles)

(crying / baby) (♪ ♪)

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(♪ ♪)

♪I approach your mouth...

♪...your smell excites me...

♪...I stick to your body...

♪...and my temper rises...

♪...then in the hands...

♪...a tremor begins...

♪...should I get closer...♪

♪...to your underwear?

♪I feel confused...

♪...because by continuing...

♪...taking off your clothes...

♪...I'm starting to notice...

♪...there's a little piece...

♪...in front of meeee...

♪...who is asleep...

♪...and he doesn't want to come out.

(♪ ♪)

♪Go out and play...

♪...with the visits...

♪...don't throw a tantrum...

♪...damned thing.

♪Get up, daddy...

♪...don't make me look bad...♪

♪...which I've always boasted about...♪

♪...of being a good stud.♪

♪Get up, daddy...

♪...don't be so cruel...

♪...if you don't get up...

♪...I lose that woman.

♪Get up, daddy...

♪...don't say...

♪...that I'm an old spring...♪

♪...but without a brig.

♪Get up, daddy...

♪...come on, don't be like that...

♪...if you don't get up...

♪...they'll make fun of me.

(♪ ♪)

♪After a little while...

♪...of concentration...

♪...I give up...

♪...there will be no performance today...

♪...but she's insistent...

♪...he tells me "my love"...

♪...I'm going to wake up...

♪...to this great...

♪...sleepy.

♪The...

♪...to that little cave...

♪...don't hide anymore...

♪...damned thing.

♪Get up, daddy...

♪...don't make me look bad...♪

♪...which I've always boasted about...♪

♪...of being a good stud.

♪Get up, daddy...

♪...don't be so cruel...

♪...if you don't get up...

♪...I lose that woman.

♪Get up, daddy...

♪...don't say...

♪...that I'm an old spring...♪

♪...but without a brig.

♪Get up, daddy...

♪...come on, don't be like that...

♪...if you don't get up...

♪...they'll make fun of me.