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Subtitles generated by - LustyCinema.li with jokes I I know some funny that there's been some funny things happen to

me but they're not like jokes there was this one time Mother's Day Martin took

me out for dinner we we had probably five hundred dollars with us more but

Martin had to use this credit card we've been using way too long already I said

to him let's just pay cash but he hands over the card anyway the guy the guy

stalls us keeps us there says the computers fucked up all that I said to

Damn, they called the cops.

Anyway, long story short, Martin had to stab the waiter.

We're outside running.

I've got this dress I've got to hold up, heels on,

skipping through all these puddles.

That isn't actually a joke, I guess.

Maybe you had to be there.

Martin and I had some laughs.

My brother Chris is in AA.

He stays away from me.

Guess I'm a bad influence on him.

This girl fucked Chris when her boyfriend was out of town.

The boyfriend comes back a little while later,

they both got the clap.

So she goes to Chris and takes him to the clinic.

Clinic says Chris doesn't have the clap.

Well, this girl wouldn't believe it.

I mean, she knows her boyfriend didn't fuck her over

when he was out of town.

She must've gotten it off Chris,

except Chris doesn't have the clap.

She's got this dirty disease

and she must've gotten it off of dirty Chris, right?

It's the almost exact same thing that happened to me.

I'm a bad influence on my brother, yeah.

Baby thinks he caught it off me.

Anyways, he's in a crisp.

And I'm here.

It isn't my idea.

Somebody said that,

that chick that got up the other day,

she said she looked back on her life

and it was a black hole.

I look back and

I guess all I can say about it is I miss Martin.

That's about it.

I miss Martin.

Don't get it, what are you saying?

Well, how long has he been dead?

Hey, fuck you!

I knew him too, you're nothing special.

Peter, it's Noel.

Yeah, well, they're not good.

I've got a situation here, I need a guy in like an hour.

Peter, hold on, hold on.

I know you're probably really mad, you know,

I don't blame you.

Turn, Peter, hold on, hold on.

Do you have money?

Money, do you have any?

Uh, no, not really. I don't.

Peter, so, this thing?

No, not violence. Keep guessing.

No, my brother just got here. He's right here.

That's it. Yeah, I tried him.

He's naturally the first person I thought of,

and I just can't get a hold of him.

You know Ronnie's dead?

Yeah, yeah. I talked to his wife.

Yeah, she thinks she's kidding.

Come on, then. How about you?

Five. I was thinking three for me

because I'm sitting here now for me.

Do I give up this later?

Peter, this would be like a real favor to me.

Don't call me back. The guy's gonna be here in like an hour.

What's the point in calling me back?

No, I don't see your problem with this.

Okay, what if we split it?

$2.50 each.

I said, what if we split it?

Stone nodding up right on the phone.

I didn't even get it.

Wow, losing my touch, Chris.

What do you want?

Wow, everybody always asks me that.

It's unbelievable. I never know what to say.

Hey, Denise, when it was obvious I wanted to get out of there,

move out, end it, she kept saying it to me, what do you want?

Actually, what she said was, you don't know what you want.

That's the only thing I'd like to say.

You don't know what you want.

I don't know what that means.

I don't know what I want for breakfast.

I don't know what I want to take a shower, read a book,

or take a shower.

I don't know what I want for the rest of my life.

Those questions are bullshit.

What do you want, Chris?

Well, I wanted to give you this.

Doesn't it remind you of that one that you had on Duquette?

Golly, it's like a prize at the fair. Money. How much?

Denise paid for my bus ticket.

Stop it.

I, uh, 50 bucks. Less, actually.

Uh, hello? Where does she think you'll stay? In a tree house?

Call Denise right now. You need money.

No, no, no. I can't do that. We broke up.

Does a caller tell her breaking up was a mistake?

You're thinking it over, trying to get your head together.

It could happen.

It isn't actually a lie.

You know, Noel, I've realized there are things I can take

and things that I can't.

And one thing that I cannot take anymore,

I just can't fucking hack it, is hypocrisy.

Just don't.

That's a cute trait, but it took you too long to learn it.

Five years wasn't my idea.

Fuck you, Chris.

You're here?

I need money.

You're gonna get me some.

You must have friends.

Don't they have jobs?

It isn't that much money.

Call three people, ask them for a hundred each.

A hundred is nothing.

300, five years, that's $60 a year.

Five birthdays, five Christmas presents, that's $40.

And that's $30 a year, Chris, $30 fucking dollars a year.

It's nothing.

You owe it to me.

Call your friends, get me three, get me 100.

What about that?

20 lousy bucks for every year I didn't hear from you.

You were out here twice.

Everyone saw you but me.

You know what a fucking asshole I look like?

Can you call some people?

Can't we just have a cup of coffee

and sit down and talk and stuff?

No, there's a guy gonna be here in an hour.

Not even that.

I owe him money and I've gotta have it.

503, really.

Well, can't you just go out?

Yeah, but I can't stay out, grow up.

Okay, Noel, I don't have it.

Sorry, but I don't.

Put your hands up if I find more than 50 bucks on you,

I keep it, deal?

Come on, come on, you're not gonna frisk me.

What do you care if you're telling the truth?

Hey, stop it.

It's not nice to call your brother a liar.

Oh my god.

Oh, that's just fucking mean, Noel.

It's Noel, Terry calling for Angelo.

And if you get this message in the next half hour,

20 minutes, fuck it, man, there's no time, no more, no more.

And what the fuck is this guy gonna do?

I mean, is he gonna, is he gonna kill you?

Can't he wait?

Want some coffee?

Okay, that'd be nice.

So I left Denise.

I'm not moving to England.

I'm here.

This is, uh, how long have you been here?

Since I got out.

Of course.

You gonna hug me or something?

You been lifting weights?

You feel like you just got out of the joint.

Shut up.

You know what, I actually do have weights at home now.

Well, Denise will probably solve them.

You didn't join the Y to start playing handball, maybe a little yoga?

Why, because I'm sober? Is that what you think we do?

You did actually join the Y.

You're right, I couldn't get it.

I just wondered if you were still my brother.

So I'm assuming...

I mean, I'm just assuming you don't want to talk about the bit you did.

Would have been nice getting a letter then.

You've never done any time, right?

What have you done? You've done a weekend?

My life's pretty much fucked.

Almost everything they say about everything is wrong.

It's unbelievable. I think it started for me with snowflakes.

You know, we're all supposed to be different and unique, right?

Like snowflakes.

I think I heard that one too many times.

So I started thinking, okay, let's say it's snowing in Toronto,

Baffin Island, and Mongolia,

and none of those snowflakes match.

That's bullshit.

I think most snowflakes are like, not, none of them.

You ever think about killing yourself?

I thought, look, it takes more guts to stay alive

than it does, you know, to kill yourself, right?

But then I was like, well, why?

You know, do I even believe that?

It's like the snowflakes.

I thought I was already living in my fucking head.

I didn't even have to think it.

You have these thoughts, I don't know, I do.

They're like, they're like bad neighbors.

They make too much fucking noise

and you just put up with them anyway.

That's what, that's what lives in my head, bad neighbors.

You know who I ran into?

He asked about you.

Slugging this gym bag, big enough to steal watermelons.

Regular little athlete.

It's Dean.

You look great.

Told him you were married.

Someone I've never met, never seen a picture of.

You tell her any of that?

What's her face?

You and Dean?

She doesn't care.

You met in the AA.

She doesn't care you were with him.

Well, I haven't done anything like that

since I've been sober.

You weren't drunk when you met Dean.

Okay, well, drugs, same thing.

I mean, I know I was in stone the day I met Dean,

but it was that time of my life.

I can't believe you haven't been

with another guy since Dean.

Not even a little bit.

You were really into that hand in the whole scene.

Well, I'm not saying, I mean, okay,

I'm a flirt, or I can be,

what are we talking about?

True love, you and Dean living together.

I was hiding out then.

Never bothered me, you and Dean, it seemed right.

My life just changed on me, Noel.

I couldn't bring you into it.

Now it's changed again.

I really wanna make it up to you.

Well, that's good to hear.

Because I happen to need you to help me.

Anything, name it.

I want you to fuck this guy with me.

Fuck him up.

Just fuck him.

He's gonna be here in like 45 minutes.

Listen to me, I need money.

I called this guy.

I haven't seen him for a couple of years.

He wants two of us, me and a guy.

He'll pay 500.

I've done this before with him.

usually he just likes to watch,

but it's an anything goes situation.

I'm sure he'll settle for the two of us on him.

I know.

Wait, I don't get it.

You need this money to pay the other guy back?

They're both coming here?

No, there is no other guy.

That was a lie.

I made that up.

This guy will pay me 500.

I can't find anyone who will do it with me.

Fucking Ronnie's dead.

So I figured if you could give me the five,

I'd cancel the date.

If you gave me three, I'd cancel.

I have to give two to whoever I did it with anyway.

So if you won't give me the money,

I've got to do this guy.

I need a partner.

Holy shit, Noel.

I'll give you 200, you need the money.

What do you, what do you need the 500 or the 300

or whatever for, why do you need it?

I don't need 300, I could use 100,

but this guy is offering me 500,

if that's what I'm turning down,

gotta get that back from somewhere, right?

I can't turn down five and take 100, I'm losing money.

Okay, you need $100, right?

This guy calls you up and he offers you 500

for sex with you and another guy,

and now you think that's what you are supposed to have

just because that's what he's offering?

That doesn't even make sense, Noel.

Don't you?

No, no, no, okay, well, imagine this.

You walk into a bank with a check for 20 bucks

and the cashier cashes it, opens up the drawer,

and there's like two grand in there.

You think what, you're supposed to get the two grand

instead of the 20?

Because that's what happens to be there?

Yeah, that's right.

That's correct.

That's what I'm told by the noisy little neighbors

in my head.

You fuck.

You fucker, you fucking asshole.

No, don't talk to me like that again, Chris.

Do you remember the last time I moved and I lived out here?

Do you remember that? You brought that guy over to my place that you ripped off?

Do you remember this? I shook his hand.

I stood there talking to him for like 10 minutes about moving like a fucking asshole.

And then you tell me he's there to get money.

And if I don't have it, we're gonna have to beat him up, kick him out, whatever.

He knows where I live. Day fucking one, I'm already living somewhere.

I don't want to be. So this is nothing new.

What the fuck out here?

My pleasure.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Let's go.

Fuck you! You think I'm kidding?

No, no, hey, no.

Hey, let me just stop it.

No, stop it!

I'm really sorry, I'm sorry.

He'll probably pay 500 to watch us fight.

If you tore the rest of my clothes off.

I'm glad you're here, Chris.

What are we gonna do?

What do you wanna do?

What about the guy, the money guy?

What can we do? You know the situation.

No, I'd like...

You'd like a cup of coffee?

I really would.

Isn't that shirt a little airy now?

Are you cold?

Are you cold?

Denise always makes fun of the way I dress.

She says I'm too drab.

She goes out and buys me all these fucking shirts.

I hate them.

They make me feel conspicuous.

You're not interested in dealing.

You're not interested in guys at all.

You're clearly not interested in money.

How do you feel about junk?

That's what this is about.

I've been clean almost three months.

Part of my parole, I have to go to the fucking meetings.

Yeah, well, the bus, I was going.

Getting my sheet signed.

Lately, I've been signing it myself.

Well, if you've already been going,

you've probably heard this before.

But why not, why not try one more day?

Because this is the day I want it.

Today, the only day of the week I worry about.

Well, fuck, if you've already decided,

if you've already made up your mind,

you wouldn't be telling me any of this.

I'm telling you, I tried the fucking meetings

so you don't have to try and save me.

Those people, I don't know how you do it.

They're scared, like scared little kids.

You want bad things not to happen.

You don't follow the program, you get cancer.

They think, they say their prayers

and they're good little boys and girls,

nothing bad will happen to them.

Anything bad does happen, like to somebody else especially.

They figure out where he went wrong,

how it can't happen to them.

You think they'll live forever. Do you believe that shit? Are you still my brother? I don't know beats heroin

What does I look I I mean I know I could see where you have your problems with it. We all do

First time you walk in you see the signs of the further room there the slogans

Keep it simple easy. Does it I know it's bad news. I know what the fuck am I doing here?

You know, it's easy to think that you're too smart for it. That's easy

You know, they think they're cliches and they're you know, I'll tell you they

They are well, I mean look, they are they are cliches. They are but I had this guy

The sponsor I got rid of my having for years, but he used to tell me there's a reason that cliches have become cliches

Right that they've been around a long time that they've lasted and that's he's saying they're true. You know, I felt better

Then I stop feeling better, of course.

Been around a long time means fuck all.

Santa Claus has been around a long time.

Neckties have been around a long time.

There's nothing more useless than a fucking necktie.

Clichés are, I don't know,

how you believe them you become one.

Clichés are neckties. They're the neckties

you hang yourself with in your cell.

That's good. I'm gonna write that down.

I never remember these things in time.

In your cell.

You think it's not gonna work. It shouldn't work.

But you can get clean.

and you can sober up, because of God.

Did you know I was supposed to move to England,

that I got accepted at this theological school

in Nottingham, did that, did that tell you any of that?

Yeah, I figured it was bullshit.

You were just trying to beat him for the tuition money.

No, no, no, no, no, I don't know what to say about it,

but it sounds like a long story, but...

Oh, look, it's just me!

She set up a partner first, I was fucking greedy.

I'm rotting!

It takes more guts to go on living

It does to kill yourself. It's unbelievable.

It's what I was thinking without even fucking thinking.

I mean, obviously, I mean, I don't know.

Just look at it.

It's always harder to do something new

than it is just to keep going. It's a basic law of physics.

The only people you hear who say that it takes more guts to go on living

are the ones that don't have the guts to kill themselves.

Those people are supposed to have guts.

That's kind of self-serving. I don't buy that.

What are you talking about?

I don't know. I'm supposed to know what to say to you, Noel, and I don't.

I'm not going to kill myself. That's not what I mean.

But this fucking guy, I don't know, that I can do that.

Just take it out of your pants. Close your eyes.

Two-fifty each.

It's been a long time. I haven't...

What does he look like? How old is he?

Don't I look skinny?

You want to just watch? You might go for it.

How old is he?

He's older. You'll look great to him.

No, this is the thing, man. You fucking scare me.

I was supposed to be a priest.

Anglican, you can still have sex.

No, I don't, I have to think about it.

Why does it have to be right now?

Why does it have to be tonight?

Look, it's like this, we fuck the guy.

Make him kneel down, close your eyes,

don't say anything, or else just

sit down, just watch.

Don't smile.

I'll tell him you're a cop.

A vice cop.

That you're forcing me to do this.

Okay, all that's left, you could do something to me

or I do something to you and that's out, right?

We're not gonna do this tomorrow or next week or at midnight.

We are gonna do it now, so what's it gonna be?

Why don't I just call dad and ask him for 250?

He won't like it, but he'll do it.

You know what? No, that's not fair.

That's not fair to him. He doesn't have any fucking money.

Call him now.

No, I just gotta...

Call him now. I'm not sending my guy away

and then finding out you can't get the money.

Who the fuck is Noel?

Nobody here by that name.

It's null, like stole, like hole, you know?

Well, so, what do you think it is?

The right way to say it is any way you want to say it.

You bad man.

There's somebody here.

We were just talking about you.

Well, you'll just have to see for yourself.

It just ones that can be.

Hold on.

He can wait, but not forever.

Don't make us start without you.

He's gonna be late.

Not too late.

I'm just scared of fucking this thing up.

I'm such a busy girl.

I've got a little time to hunt around here

and find you a pair of balls.

A good set of balls that swing,

the kind men have.

You said you've done this with him before, but he doesn't know how to say your name.

So you don't know him, do you?

I don't know him that well, but I know him.

Oh, fuck.

I'm just gonna say this. I'm just gonna say it.

There's a god, Noel.

There's a fucking god.

You'd make the blind see, brother, you really would.

I'm not kidding, Noel. I would be fucking nowhere without God.

You're in my room. You fucked up your marriage. You got 50 bucks?

I was you. I'd give the devil some serious consideration.

Yeah, I do this thing, Noel. I am the devil.

You can just watch, I said.

Well, hold on your pants and don't watch.

Will a blowjob send you to hell?

Helping you get money for drugs doesn't really matter how I help.

No, you're helping me get money.

Your sister is fucking broke.

And after five years, not a word, not a dime?

Now, you sit there, you are being a smug little cocksucker.

Formed whores worse than anybody.

Now, look at you.

I need you to help me.

And you're gonna fucking help me.

All you have to do is sit still, shut up.

That isn't a whole lot to ask.

How I spend my money, that's my own fucking business.

You understand?

My money, my business.

Do you understand?

Yes, I understand.

Want some more coffee?

I bet I'm feeling a little jumpy.

You'll be fine.

Have you ever thought about this before with me?

This situation? No.

No, I mean, have you ever thought about...

Have you ever thought about having sex with me before?

I'm not asking you to have sex with me, Chris.

Okay, but have you ever thought about it at all in any way?

Well, for a couple of years on and off I thought about

tracking you down in Toronto and getting somebody to break your thumbs.

Martin knows plenty of guys who can do that. Cheap, too.

And then I started getting quite angry at you.

Thought about putting you in a wheelchair for life,

maybe having you blinded.

It's a lot more expensive, but you get what you pay for.

And then I just thought about killing you.

I haven't thought about that for a year or two.

Maybe once or twice.

But really, in the last year or so,

I haven't thought much about you at all,

so no, I didn't think about fucking you.

You know, I don't have to be here when this guy shows up.

I mean, you didn't know that I would come.

What the fuck were you gonna do?

You leave him fucked, you happy?

Where are you gonna go with 50 bucks? Deans?

Just saying.

Okay, you said.

You've got about, oh, no time to make up your mind.

You just said he was gonna be late.

We're not gonna be drinking coffee when he walks in.

This guy's paying five bills.

What's his name?

There's a charter flight going from Miami to Rome.

The plane's been up in the air about three hours. It's full.

And the pilot comes over to the intercom and he says,

I got good news and I've got bad news.

Is this a joke?

Yes. He says, I got good news and I got bad news.

The bad news is, I don't know where the hell we are.

But the good news is, we're making damn good time.

Think that says it?

There before the grace of God. Unbelievable.

You hear everybody fucking up.

Grace of God. I know it sounds like bullshit to you,

But it's really, it's the whole thing, you know?

And I don't think grace comes and comes and comes, you know?

I think you can say no to it, you know?

Like, I believe in the grace of God.

I am sober and I am clean and I am alive today

by the grace of God.

But what is it supposed to fucking mean

if somebody can't stop using it, they can't, uh, get sober?

The, I've got the grace of God, but they don't?

That's bullshit. You can say no to it.

You know what? This is the kind of shit that worries Dad.

He said to me, can you see Chris going for this religious thing?

I said, Dad, Chris has been a religious maniac all his life.

When I was in grade three or four,

you told me you wanted to die on a fucking cross.

Hey, I was...

You told me that is how you wanted to die.

I was in the fifth grade. That's kid talk.

It's not as common as you think.

Not like wanting to be a fireman.

I believe in the grace of God.

I am alive because of the grace of God.

It's dying on a cross.

Noel, I can't tell you what to do, okay?

I was supposed to be a priest, and I said no.

Louis isn't coming over here today because of God, by the way.

I'm not here because of God.

This is about saying no.

Joy fucks with your body.

It makes you fat or something.

Would you pay 500 for this?

I'm your brother.

Okay, try to imagine you're not.

I'm tired of imagining. You know who you are, it's bad enough.

I'm trying to remember the body I had, not imagine it.

Oh, you think I look that bad?

I'm your brother.

Yeah, okay, when he gets here, you're not my brother.

You want me to join the Y?

Ooh, ow, hey, don't kick.

Should I shave my legs?

They're not really smooth, but I don't think they're rough.

Are they rough?

Are they rough?

Stop that, stop it.

Stop it, call Lewis, tell him to forget it.

You gonna give me 500?

I've got that much, a little more.

Not much more, but I have that.

I don't believe you. Let me see it.

Uh-huh. Did God teach you how to lie?

Okay. Call those...

Besides, Gail, tell him when he gets here.

Wow, you really don't want to do this thing, do you?

Mm, nope.

His five only gets him an hour. It won't even take that.

Five from him, this five. Five more in your pants?

No, no, no, no.

That's a decent amount of money, Chris.

I gave you that so that Lewis would stay out of it.

If you don't fucking like it, you can go back to him.

No, you gave me this. You have no say in what I do with it.

That is bullshit. I didn't give you anything.

I didn't fucking give you anything.

I'm paying you.

For what?

For sucks.

You fucking give it.

Never mind.

Give it!

Whoa there, big guy.

You already paid the girl.

You change your mind.

You don't get a refund.

If you tell Dad, I will deny it.

And he knows you're fucking crazy.

I'm crazy?

You've got the balls to say that?

Okay, fine.

Forget it.

Fuck it.

Forget it.

Forget it.

I don't want it.

I am bailing you out of this situation, though.

I can't stop you from giving drugs.

At least I can stop you from turning tricks.

But you're gonna do something for me.

Tomorrow morning, you're gonna come to a fucking meeting with me.

Yes! This could be the grace of God entering your life!

There's a girl our age at my home group.

It's not that weird.

You want me to do it with me?

We can do it.

No. No.

You must think I'm so fucked up.

You know what you want.

A lot of guys don't.

Why don't I want a new car?

Do you know what you want?

I want if if we do it. I don't want like kissing and hugging and stuff

We're gonna do it once. I want to do it to death. I'll do anything, but we're gonna wait for Lewis

Just a second. I can't just do it. I mean, can you right now you could take off your clothes and do it just like that. Yep

Okay, if he's here, it's something we do I can understand that I can understand the shape of it and that we can really do it

There's nothing we can't do with Lewis, the badder the better.

I can do it with Lewis, but I'm not doing it with Adam.

You're unbelievable. You have to have that other 500 because it's there.

Dude, you don't like kissing, eh?

Because you're good at it.

Fuck, Noel, I've been thinking about this for such a long fucking...

But with somebody else there, it just makes it fucking weird.

It makes it normal.

No, it doesn't.

He watches, he pays.

Listen, you'll like Lewis.

He doesn't act stupid. You'll like him, he just does it.

Are you going to help me?

You ever thought about getting this place painted?

It would make a world of difference.

I do that now, by the way.

I'm a painter's assistant.

Those are the kind of jobs we get, eh, people?

I don't fucking like it.

No, that's not true. That's not true.

I'm grateful. I'm grateful to be working.

Fuck, there it is again, that fucking book.

I hate fucking painting.

But I hate even more being grateful for things that I fucking hate.

Better than rope, cheaper than stockings, come here.

No! Silly.

Okay, don't make this impossible, Chris.

Okay, fuck, you can handcuff me to the bed.

Tied on my feet.

No! Isn't something I let a trick do what you use?

Okay, well, it will be fun.

We can do whatever.

Blindfold me if you want.

I don't want you blindfolded, Noel. I want you in it.

You're the whole point.

What do you want, Chris?

I want everything.

You know when I got busted for that gas station in Sherbrooke

and the cops handcuffed me with a chair all night?

Those handcuffs have teeth.

I know.

Fucking cops, man.

I don't use, I believe in God, I'm a painter just like the fucking cops.

Ow, ow.

You're still my brother.

I thought we were gonna wait for Louis.

I wasn't kidding about the thing with the painting.

You should really do it.

Okay, when Louis gets here, I don't want you talking any of that shit.

He isn't that kinky.

It's freezing in here.

It isn't cold.

Hey, why don't we wait with my pants till he gets here

and then you can take him off or, I don't know, pull him down, take him off.

Wipe it out.

Do you use handcuffs a lot?

Put us in that bag.

I didn't imagine it like this at all.

It fucks you up imagining.

I mean that's why there's TV.

You can't make it up all the time, huh?

What about somebody?

A freak show, you know.

Well, the money wasn't that good anyways, Ange.

I got a guy, I knew him a long time ago.

And then he fucked me over.

And now he owes me half the money, Ange.

I don't pay that good.

You know how it is, I'm calling everybody

and then the right guy comes along.

He's just there, right?

God sent him to my door.

You know, it's been a fucking day.

I called you, did you know Ronnie's dead?

In a corner, I was fucked, and anyway,

it all came together in a fucking miracle.

One second and nothing,

and then there's the answer to everything

right in front of me.

This guy, Chris, I haven't...

I've known him all my life, and he came to visit.

Hadn't seen him in years and we were gonna score but we changed our minds

There's things I've done and I just don't feel bad about them things. I've done to people most of them had it coming

Maybe I'll change my mind about that. Maybe I won't I am not trying to be normal

Chris is married and that isn't the worst problem way, but God believe me

We got involved

After all those years after our whole lives

involved. I've been with guys, a lot of guys, especially after I started using.

And sometimes we'd fix me and a guy and in the dark I'd be nodding in and out

and I'd get the idea that I was really with Chris. I'd say his name. Chris told

me it happened to him as well. So Chris was here, except we weren't

stoned and the whole night long I felt like I had a fever. I'd see his face for a

second and this time it really was him and the whole night long if I see the

kinds of things you see with a high fever woke up in the morning I felt like

it crossed the ocean swimming and then the morning it was still Chris we didn't

score Martin I don't know where to start um Martin tell you about Martin Martin's

as a stuffed animal.

Your biggest problem?

You're stupid.

You think too much and you're stupid.

It's like the worst combination there is.

I am out $500 because you're stupid.

It's a crime being stupid.

You get caught and you pay for it.

You owe me money.

Hey, get off.

Get these fucking handcuffs off me now.

Get off.

You're making a big mistake, Chris.

I will burn you down to the ground, you croc sucker.

Get these fucking things off me

or I'll start screaming.

Go ahead, scream.

Don't touch your real little girl, Chris.

Oh, yeah? You're a fucking cunt.

From your lying little mouth.

Give me the key.

To your fat ass. Your $500.

You didn't do a fucking thing to deserve it,

and you're still not happy?

Too fucking bad!

You shouldn't have called Lewis his sister. Maybe he'll kill you later, you know?

P.S. It's really strange to fuck your family, Chris.

How the fuck can you call anything strange, Noel?

That guy, that was stupid.

Your idea is not my fault.

Fuck you!

He's as good as anybody's, fat-ass.

You don't even think that.

I'm keeping money.

I told you how we had to do it.

Keep it.

We had to do it with him.

You fucked it up.

Fine, fuck, keep it.

I said that.

This isn't happening, right?

You don't think I'm worth 500?

No, I don't.

All on your own?

Neither does Lewis.

Nobody would pay you a dime to fuck that up.

I know that, Noel.

Nobody would pay anyone 500.

Who's worth 500?

Yeah, besides Madonna.

I don't know, but you're not. That's the point, right?

I'm gonna fucking show my shrink a picture,

a picture of Denise, a picture of you.

Junkie just got out.

Tell him I was gonna pay you five bills,

and I'll be fucking committed, sister or not.

Take your fucking money. Get out.

Can I interest you in some heroin?

Now you want to score.

Five years you act like a good boy,

now you're acting like a guy going bad.

Get out of my fucking room.

Oh my God, all I said was not 500, okay, Noel?

It wasn't fucking personal.

You and your shrink laughing at my picture?

Sounds personal.

Sorry, I was pissed off.

You know, I stopped fucking drinking

because I couldn't do what I want to do.

Now I'm sober and I can't do what I want to do,

and I don't really know what I'm supposed to fucking want.

I want to shoot Martin.

I want to shoot Martin in the fucking knees

and slit his throat, and I want to live with a girl

that doesn't speak English in another country,

and I want some fucking junk.

I want to shoot.

I want to score some fucking dope.

Do you think junk's worth $500?

I think it depends on the junk.

Junk in Madonna, huh?

Alexei Noltei, hi, Benoit.

Were you still here when Martin shot that guy outside Burger King?

Hey, me. Call me back.

So, the guy is chasing him for a walk, and you know, you know, how far is Martin gonna run?

He starts walking. The guy's still running after him, so Martin shot him. Didn't kill him.

You know who this is? Call me back.

So he gets into some guy's car and makes him drive through a red light.

Bang, a pick-up hits them,

knocks the guy right through the front window

of not the Couch Turd, the other deaf.

Driver's all smashed up, Martin gets out and robs the till.

Goes out, flags down a cab, and comes home.

Actually, no, no, he doesn't come home.

He gets out a block away, he's being cautious,

won't pay the fucking cab,

shows the guy the gun, robs him too,

and then he comes home and falls asleep.

Must have been around 200 cops outside for him.

Anyways, Martin.

I keep hearing he wants to kill me.

I know Martin's got dope.

Well, what are we waiting for? Run, don't walk.

You mean funny?

Are you Martin?

Why don't we just stab ourselves and set fire to the money?

It saves the trouble of going out.

He doesn't just want to kill me.

I've heard that. He's never said it to me.

He gave me a necklace when we were together.

He said it was his mother's.

Okay, I doubt it.

Whatever, it was nice.

He gave it to me Mother's Day.

Sometimes he calls me and he tells me

as long as I still have the necklace,

I belong to him, just the way he is.

Give it back to him.

I sold it. He is dope.

You know, it's just the way I answer the phone.

Oh, you know me. I'm nothing but bad habits.

Oh, I must have run out.

Actually, I haven't been going lately.

Um, can I call you back? This isn't- can I call you back? This isn't really a good time to talk.

Yeah, my brother. He's visiting.

Oh, aren't we suspicious? It's my brother, really.

Me too.

You don't want to try Martin? We can either wait on Alex or hit the street.

Who was that?

I met him at a meeting and we went for coffee.

Dark liquid, hot, comes at a cup.

We had, I guess, kind of a date.

I don't think I've ever been on a date in my life.

The meeting, it's like being back in high school, isn't it?

A date?

Did you have a stroke while I was on the phone?

A date. We went out.

I don't get it. Why would you go with this guy?

You've lost me, babe. What's happening?

Well, I mean, I don't understand.

It's a guy. You meet at the fucking meetings.

You don't even like going to them?

He's taken you out. You fucked him, what, first date?

Fuck you. No, fuck him.

You fuck him.

Not for 500. Not even for five bucks.

Did he pay for the coffee?

Hey, you and him?

Entirely different situations.

What? Why? Is he your boyfriend?

Will you act your age?

You want to know if we're going steady?

Are you?

Hey, sorry, I didn't know that you had a guy.

A bazoy friend.

Hey, hey, hey.

It's a bit of a surprise.

He's not my bazoy friend, okay?

He's just a guy.

I slept with him once.

Maybe twice.

You slept with him?

You have to stop repeating everything I say.

He's not gonna show up here if that's what you're worried about.

Yeah, I'm worried about that.

Well, I don't understand what the problem is.

There's no problem. There's no problem.

I met Denise in a fucking meeting.

So what happened? You just, you met him,

took you out, took you home, that it?

More or less.

Well, you fucked him twice. He must have liked it.

Gee, you got me, Reverend.

I bet he liked it too.

It must have been a whole new experience for him.

It was.

It's normal. You know, it's normal.

People in the program get involved all the time.

It's not a good idea, but it happens.

I just hope that he's not the kind of guy that snags newcomers,

gets them when they're really vulnerable, you know?

There's a lot of those fucking guys.

I'm kind of surprised. I'm actually a little disappointed,

but whatever, you stopped using, you started going to meetings,

you're just the same as everybody else, right?

Meets a fucking dipstick,

meets you clichés that sound like wisdom.

I bet he used needles, too, right?

Oh, my God.

Uh, you guys probably think it's meant to be, right, that God's protecting you?

I bet that's what you think.

Fuck, I hope you die, Noel.

I hope you get sick and fucking die.

See you when you're dead.

What happened?

Because I fucked him for nothing?

You offered the money.

I didn't ask for it.

You think everything's about money, Noel.

It's fucked up.

Uh, I'm ugly.

I've got a fat ass.

I don't look like your wife.

Okay, you cannot promise to fix me and then don't fix me.

You can't.

You asked your fucking boyfriend to fix you.

Why don't you scream?

Hey, hey! Get the fuck away!

You tough girl.

Come on, cheer boy.

Fuck off.

You fuck off.

Alex, don't hang up.

Time out.

Wait a minute, Alex.

I'll show you what I did with him.

Charles, on our date.

I'll do the same things with you.

Fucking nice.

I want some. We have like five.

Can you help me out?

Where are you? I'm here.

I'm here.

He's gonna be late, Alex.

He's gonna be late, Alex.

He picks up in this area, he'll call.

Do you have condoms?

No, I don't.

Okay, first things first, hand over the money,

you're not gonna fuck me out of the dope.

I don't trust you, Noel.

I don't give a flying fuck, Chris.

It's there.

Go wait in the bathroom.

Oh, is that what you did with him on your date?

Did he want that?

No, is that what you want?

Go wait in the bathroom for a minute.

You like beating them?

Maybe you want a little half and half,

a little fucking, a little sucking.

I could just give you a head or you could go down on me.

You said you'd do the same things we did on your date, okay?

You said you'd do the same things to me

and don't talk to me like I'm a trick.

That's what I did with Charles, he liked it.

Maybe we should wait till we fix it.

I didn't wait three months so I could blow my fix having sex.

Fixing is fixing and fucking's fucking.

Can I wait in the bathroom?

Okay, so what, you went out, what'd you do?

You came back here?

Okay, next place.

Oh, I'm afraid there's nothing to drink.

Would you like to fuck me?

You didn't say that to him.

Oh, yes, I did.

Well, then I don't want that, okay?

I don't want, I want our date instead, yours and mine.

Later, it's time we can do the things you did with him.

Okay, so it's not me and Charles, it's you and me.

Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, you're you and I'm me,

but different.

Okay, I'm not your sister.

No, no, I want you to be my sister.

Chris, you're a fucking coach mom.

You call me up, me, Noel Terry, and ask me out.

We go out together, you, me, and me.

We go for supper, Chinese.

Then we go to a movie.

Let's skip the movie.

We had a lot to talk about at dinner

and I don't wanna stop.

Okay, so what, when you came here, you just did it?

Did he kiss you?

I kissed him before we got here.

He looked sad, and I gave him a kiss.

Aw, you looked sad?

That's such a fucking lame routine.

He was hoping you'd mercy-fuck him.

Okay, do you want to know, or don't you?

I do, go.

We came here.

I asked him if he wanted to fuck me, not really serious,

kind of the same way I did with you.

He laughed.

Not really laughed, he kind of smiled.

And then he sat me down on his knee.

Where was he sitting?

Where you are.

He was standing.

He took my hand and he led me over and then he sat me down on his lap

And he put his arms around my waist like okay. Do you want to do it?

Arms around me

Okay, then he squeezed me tight and then tighter and tighter until I couldn't breathe squeezed. You can't breathe. Sounds stupid. Try it

Yes, and then

Then I caught my breath

and then I

I leaned my head back and he kissed my neck

And I wanted to turn around and kiss him in the mouth, but he wouldn't let me. He just crushed me.

He asked me. He asked me if I felt close to him.

Did you?

Let me out.

No, he let me. Finally, Charles let me.

Martin calls me and hangs up.

Before he even hears my voice, I think he's afraid a guy will answer and then he'll feel more or less obliged to come over and kill him.

He didn't answer the phone when he was here.

What's his face?

I got up in the morning and wanted to die.

The most interesting way for it to happen.

I get together with Martin again.

He's the only guy who...

Well, that's it right there.

The only guy.

Everybody else, I might as well just shoot water.

I don't feel so sick after Charles.

Usually I just feel sick and I don't know what can fix me.

Or what I can fix.

I hate the fucking telephone.

Okay. No, no. Come on. Come back to me.

Martin didn't call, okay?

The phone didn't ring.

You didn't wake up this morning and decide to die in an interesting way.

He'd die anyway.

Help me with these. I want them around the bed.

Is this the necklace he gave you? His mother's?

Did he give you the dress to match?

Shut up and fuck off!

Charles on our date, after he squeezed me, he said it was too bright.

Right, I like candles.

When did you sleep with Martin? When was the last time?

You don't want to be on that date, Chris.

The last time I fixed, Martin came over that night.

Here. This bed. With Martin.

Does it make you shrivel up?

You know, maybe it makes you hard.

Did you like candles for Martin?

Martin gives it in the dark.

It's kind of sweet, actually. He's shy, Martin.

Scariest thing Martin ever told me I asked him why he used a knife when he did a guy why not just shoot him

He said he likes to touch them. I think he goes so far

He fucks up so totally just so somebody will finally touch him

He's a victim of bad therapy

Charles doesn't need it to be dark. Who the fuck is this guy Charles? What does he do?

paints houses

Oh, no, that's

Okay we could wait for Alex. You can do it to me. Anything you want. We'll be

dreaming. I'll just kind of drift away. I'll wait until I fix before I put on

his necklace. You did this shit on your date? No no it's a different game. Yeah

well I like the one that we were playing. Remember? What the fuck's going on? You said

you didn't want to wait till you fixed. You chickening out? Okay sit down. I wore a

dress on the date. Not this dress. I lit candles and then I got on him like this and we kissed

same as here and then I bit him longer and made him bleed. No this guy used

fucking needles. I bit him and I made him bleed and then he put his face right up

He looked close to me, licked my lips really lightly, really gently.

Don't do it. Don't do it.

He was holding him in my hand.

I looked at him, and then he put his hands on my hips, took his thumb, just moved him over.

But he sounded like a horse, right?

Martin sounds like a horse.

Yeah, well, of course he is.

He'd have to, otherwise his life would be pathetic.

You'd be this stupid guy running around with all that shit to make up for the fact that he's a small thicc.

Martin's insane. That's stupid.

I know what you want, but you're not gonna admit it.

Oh, I think I know where this is going.

You don't want to be Charles on the day.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

You want to be me. I'm not gay, Noel.

Ask my shrink.

You want to be taken by me.

Lots of guys want that. I know how to do it.

I'm not gay.

Believe me, when this is over, my shrink is gonna have bloody to say,

and Denise and Brian never talk to me again if I tell her.

Well, I'm gonna have to tell her.

But, I mean, believe me, this thing,

You and me, this is not about me being gay.

I don't get it.

Well, if it was, I'd be here seeing Dean, not you.

No, what I mean, what are you talking about?

You'll tell your shrink, you'll tell Denise.

You're here, that's over.

Oh, I don't mean tonight or tomorrow.

I mean, like, eventually,

my feet are back on the ground, like, what?

What? What? What?

Roll over.

What for?

I've got a surprise and I don't want you looking.

Roll over and put your face on the pillow.

Relax, I just want your arms out of the way.

Okay, can we get the surprise over with now?

How can you come from the same family as me?

And be so stupid.

Well, you got me now. I can't go anywhere.

You can do whatever you want with me.

What happens, Chris? What always happens?

You say things to me, and I actually believe them.

After all this time, this is just another little adventure for you.

Just like everything else.

I don't have a strap on. I always meant to buy one.

Oh. Oh, oh. I've got the candle.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

I don't know. Is it long enough? I don't know what you're used to.

Oh, my God. Ow!

Charles, he liked it with the knife.

He didn't say it, naturally, but I finally figured it out.

I'd run it up between his legs.

I was gonna cut his balls off.

He loved it.

Then I'd slice him a little, stab him a little.

Blood just kind of leaked out of him.

Not much, nothing to write home about.

But then I took it right up against his Adam's apple.

And then he said, do it.

Just like that, he said, do it.

Ah, fuck, Noel, keep away from my fucking eyes, please.

I don't want to go blind.

No, what you don't want is over.

I could call Martin.

You know, Martin's done time.

He must have had a boyfriend.

I know he thinks that if you're not on the receiving end,

you're not gay.

Did you call me and hang up?

No, I just thought it might have been you.

Could you come here, like, right now?

There's a guy and he's, he's troubled, he's...

I tell him there's trouble, he's here.

You guys haven't seen each other in a long time.

It'll be interesting.

I'll save the underwear for him.

You're wearing a little something.

It can actually be more tempting, isn't it?

How do you like your date now?

Well, if it's gonna happen, I mean, if it fucking has to happen,

guess it might as well be Martin.

Don't try that bullshit on me.

Come on, you don't think it's just a little bit funny and all?

You came all this way so I could be Martin's girlfriend?

You better watch yourself, babe.

He might like me better.

You wish.

I understand him. I like his mind.

Don't forget his big cock.

My God! You're gonna fucking kill me?

That's what happens when you don't get away with it.

What the fuck do you want from me, you crazy fucking bitch?

Everyone knows I'm bad. Nobody knows about you.

Nobody but me.

Why don't you pray?

There's a God. Pray.

You've got God. You don't need your sister.

God's better than junk, right?

Noel, take the fucking money, all right?

To my place. Just take it all.

And then let me the fuck go!

All right?

Yeah, fucking let me go.

Come on. I don't want to play anymore.

Come on, Noel. Let me go.

Let me the fuck go!

Fucking bitch.

My dad says very kinky.

Started running an ad.

I got a few guys.

I didn't know what to do with their money.

I go shopping.

I don't even lift anything.

There's no point. Just shopping.

Then like today, I need money

and it's gone.

It's gone?

Hey, Noel, you got money now.

I'm paying for it.

Do you go shopping, Chris?

Do you go to a movie?

Order a pizza? Watch TV?

You wake up

and that's that day and it's okay.

How do you do that? Like, what is the fucking...

Hold on. Your life isn't my fault, Noel.

Nothing is your fault, Noel.

No, no, no.

Come on. Have sex with me first.

Come on.

I still want it.

Come on.

I hate you.

I hate every fucking thing about you.

You still want to fuck me.

I can't. I can't die without doing it.

Come on.

I'll tell you what. Martin's gonna fuck you.

That's what you really want.

No, it's not.

Come on, be honest with your little sister.

You have always wanted Martin, haven't you?

Oh, fuck.

That's why you're scared of him.

That's why you hate him so much.

You hate real men.

You want to fuck them, but they scare you.

Oh, Noel, Noel, Noel.

I fucked Martin before you ever met him.

We were partners.

I fucked him in broad daylight, he didn't need to be dark.

You don't want to die telling lies you'll never get to happen.

He cries sometimes after he comes, he whispers something.

You never quite make out what it is.

He whispers and then he comes and then he cries.

I told you that, you heard that from me when I was stoned.

I think you know that I didn't.

Martin isn't gay.

My name.

He whispers my name.

I've got no idea where we are,

but we're making damn good time.

Now the question is, did I call Martin or didn't I?

If I was you, I wouldn't take any chances.

He'll kill you if I want him to.

Martin loves me more than he loves you,

so pack up and hit the road, brother.

We're even.

You know what you are?

Well, you know what you fucking are?

Yeah, I'm tough.

You are a stupid fucking brat.

Scared huh? Oh, how does that feel a little scary?

Sorry, brother. They say put a paper bag over his head and fucking with paper bags my mistake. Come on

Not leaving here without my fucking money

Well, there's nothing you can do that's gonna make me tell you where it is. So you won't find it in a thousand years

Stupid you look you had it coming, you know, you did you don't want to be bad you want to be not

You'll never make me talk, you know it.

Martin could make me, but you can't.

Martin could make me do a lot of things, too.

You've ruined everything I've ever had.

You have always done it.

My whole fucking life, you're so jealous.

Hey, Martin.

Hey, Martin.

Martin, Martin, Martin.

In all of my money, she won't tell me where it is.

What's that?

What's that?

Martin says you're a bad little fucking whore.

You came out here just to tell me about you and him, didn't you?

Just so you could fucking wipe out what we have.

You wiped out what I had with him.

Why don't you fucking think about that?

It's the most awful fucking thing in the world to you.

Before I show you where the money is.

Okay. Keep your eye on it.

Okay, let's see.

I'm gonna kill you!

Look at Tony!

Sir, no!

What's that?

And I've always been in love with you, right from forever.

Your path's ready.

I'm flattered.

You never gave me anything this nice.

I must really like you.

It isn't fair. I have anything.

It takes more guts to kill yourself than it does to keep on living.

We're not gonna kill ourselves with dope, that's for sure.

Tomorrow, if you still feel this way, I'll call dad. I promise, okay?

I still feel like what?

I still feel like however you did when you woke up this morning.

You know how stupid is you look, Chris.

All right, what are we gonna do?

We're gonna take a bath.

We have to do something.

You know what I regret?

I feel bad about the bad things I didn't do.

You said it, babe. You said it all.

I hate you more.

when I was in grade five or six.

I used to lie down in this field behind my school.

I had a friend, Linda.

We used to go there, lie down and wait for boys.

Linda used to do this, they knew we were there.

It was mainly necking, kid stuff.

They put their hands under our clothes.

There was this guy my brother knew.

He liked me, sometimes he'd pull other guys off me

and have me all alone.

I didn't like him, I liked what he did.

You lie down in a field, you're not being choosy.

Sometimes it was just me, him, my brother, and Linda.

Guys, they were lying so close,

their shoulders would touch.

I don't think about when I was a kid, but I remember that.

I remember that.

I haven't been here lately.

Yesterday it was, it's been three months.

Three months since I fixed yesterday.

I never had a thing for booze, it's sloppy,

and there's no class to it.

But you don't have to rob a bank to get a drink.

You don't shoot anyone, stab anyone.

You don't fucking go back to the liquor store,

break the guy's knees because he ripped you off.

You don't get to live like that drinking.

Junk gives you a life.

It isn't perfect maybe, but you know,

gets you out of bed in the morning.

Gets me out of bed anyways.

It's funny, I was thinking about my brother

about when we were kids.

I remember when he first started drinking,

not when he was a kid.

He was drunk every night once he started,

and I said to him, I said,

is this what you want?

Is it good?

Is good as the real thing?

My brother says, he said,

he said after junk,

he said after junk,

drinking was like kissing your sister.

He told me, and he drank, he drank a lot.

He said it never really got him there.

He drank and drank, I mean, he's an alcoholic,

but it wasn't the same.

It was like, well, it was like what he said.

It was, well, I guess you know what he's trying to say.

If it's not what you want, if it isn't the real thing,

then it's just like kissing your sister.

I guess that pretty much says it.