Original subtitles

Take that, Crystal.

Now, what did you do to get sent here?

I called my teacher a bad word.

Okay. And what word was that?

I can't say it again.

Well, what did it start with?

An N. Charlie!

I didn't know it was bad! All the other kids call me that!

That's 'cause they thought you were cool.

But that ends now. Calling your parents.

They say it, too.

They what? Oh, so you just got

a whole family full of Morgan Wallens, huh?

Dia, get Charlie's parents on the phone.

What is going on?

Girl, Charlie up in here going full Tarantino.

I'm gonna have to expel him.

Oh, Ava, no.

Mr. Small sent Charlie in here because he called him a nerd.

Attention, teachers.

Do not send anyone to my office

unless they actually say a bad word.

Was about to have Al Sharpton up in here.

Who's Al Sharpton?

Go back to class and learn something.

My God.

And don't turn the air conditioning below 70

or the heat above 71.

Mr. Johnson won't break eye contact with me

until I say that the HVAC system is fragile.

That's right. I reached out to the district to send someone.

They have not. Listen to me, y'all.

It's bad. I'm serious.

I know everyone thinks of me as Mr. Funnybones,

but this ain't no joke.

What else is going on in this school?

Now, where are those sassy Bitmojis?

I find those are the ones that are the most disrespectful.

What are you doing? Oh, I've got to say

happy birthday to Sister Sloss on the choir group chat,

even though I loathe her. Here's what you do.

You wait until you see a couple people said happy birthday

and she already said thank you. Yeah.

Then you send your happy birthday.

She has to say thank you again.

Okay.

Yeah. What'd I miss?

Did you make it to the mechanic in time?

Yeah. Yeah? Okay.

My car was making a weird noise, so I dropped it off.

Oh, oh, make the noise, and maybe we could diagnose it.

Yeah. Uh, yeah, it was, uh...

Yeah, I don't-- I don't know anything about cars.

Yeah, I don't know anything about that.

Gregory, stop making broken brake caliper noises

and pay attention.

Although it does sound like your bushings are about to go.

Oh. Now, as discussed,

Abbott will be participating

in the district's new P.H.O.N.E.S Initiative.

And here to tell us more about that is... this lady.

It's Emily. You know me.

Okay, if you say so.

Since phone usage has been so high in schools,

the district came up with a counter initiative,

Phones Harm One's Natural Environment in Schools,

P.H.O.N.E.S.

It's one day where the students are rewarded

for staying off their phones. And today is that day.

Everyone will put their phones in these boxes

and if opened, an alert will be sent to the district,

and Abbott will be disqualified.

Every school that makes it the entire day

will get a pizza party!

Other schools are participating?

Yep. Bates Academy, MacDowell, Liberty Rings--

Crystal Riley's school? Alright, kids, hurry up.

Put your phones in the box. We need to win this.

We don't want to do this challenge.

You guys are on your phone all day. Oh, you're fine.

Yeah, who do you need to talk to? In the box.

It's good for you. You don't need that phone.

And I'll take the staff phones, too.

What now? Oh-- Pardon?

No Phones Day is for staff and faculty, too,

not just kids. There's no "I"-phones in team.

But I just got a free hour on Toon Blast.

No, guys. It's okay. We should lead by example.

Well, it's just one day.

It'll be fine.

Well, we'll be fine. I don't know about you youngsters.

Oh, please. We will be just fine.

It's y'all I'm worried about.

Well, that's a waste of a three-hour game,

I'll tell you that.

Uh, smartwatches, too.

Well, I guess I'll just track my metabolic capacity

by hand then today.

Just tracking my health.

Ava, it's just one day.

Fine. I can do it.

I absolutely cannot do it.

These people are crazy. I'm getting my burner phone.

See, everyone? Isn't reading so much better

when you don't have a bunch of phones

beeping and buzzing all the time?

May I go to the bathroom?

Yes, you may. Come on up.

Okay.

Now, what is the date?

The 5th. The 5th. Right.

Oh, wait. The 5th.

I pay rent on the 5th.

Isn't rent due on the 1st?

You sound like my landlord.

Eugh! I usually pay rent on my phone.

Alright, um...

everyone, keep on reading, okay?

I will be right back.

Here you go, Constance.

Hey. Hey. Do you pay your rent

through the Rentsylvania portal app?

If so, can I use your phone? I really need to pay my rent

before 4:00 p.m., or I get a bunch of late fees.

I think you're forgetting that I also don't have my phone.

Oh, shoot. Which is becoming a problem

for me because the mechanic said he would text me updates.

Oh, no. Yeah. I need my car

for my Food/Driver shift tonight.

Right. So...

Man.

How did people pay rent before phones?

Well, I think they wrote a check to their landlord.

Yeah. Right. Yeah, checks.

Mm-hmm. And those come in...

Checkbook. Checkbook.

Right. Yeah.

I totally know where mine is.

Me, too. Yeah. Yeah.

What is that?

A burner phone. Ava.

No one is allowed to have their phone.

What do you think you're doing?

Cheating. I want to beat Crystal,

but I need a phone.

And if you say anything, you will be fired.

Make all the notes you want, Dia.

You'll be making them at the unemployment office soon.

I am so proud of you guys.

Giving up your phones is a big deal.

But I think we're all gonna like being disconnected for a bit.

But you're on your computer right now.

So I am!

May as well check for updates.

Today's news is tomorrow's history, as they say.

The Supreme Court handed down its decision

in the Idaho Department of Water Resources

vs. the U.S. Bureau of Reclamation.

Okay. Okay.

Gahh, legacy media is too slow for big moments like this.

I need live reactions.

Oh, uh, no phone.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, this is fine.

Uh, we don't know how people are reacting.

They don't know how-- how I'm reacting.

Um, and that's fine. It's fine!

Hey, why don't you just log into Twitter on your computer?

First of all, I don't use that platform anymore.

And second, you would love that, wouldn't you?

I forgot to log out of my computer one time,

and the kids got ahold of it.

For the record, and despite what my second most-viral tweet says,

I do not love to eat my boogers.

In fact, I hate it.

Hey, Barb, did I ever-- Sorry.

Did I ever mention the password to my fantasy team to you?

Not now, Melissa. I can't log into my lesson plan.

Oh, you think that's bad?

I'm down 6 points on my fantasy football,

and I just heard Mahomes is out with a "sore foot."

Plus, I'm waiting on some dumb medical results

to come into my health portal.

Medical results?

It's nothing. I got a sharp pain in my side.

It's there a few weeks. Won't go away.

Melissa, this sounds serious.

No, what's serious is me getting Mahomes on the bench

before kickoff. Barb.

Well, I can't text my choir group chat.

And if I'm the last person to wish Sister Sloss

a happy birthday, she will never let it go.

She nasty that way.

Ow.

Gotta have one somewhere.

Ava. Some of us are working.

And some of us are trying to find a charger

for this near-extinct phone.

Wait, your phone's probably ancient.

Let me borrow your charger.

Ain't nobody got that old charger anymore.

You can survive one day without your damn phone.

"You can survive one day without your damn phone."

Oh, hey.

I'm doing great so far.

I have reminders set for everything on my to do list,

but since I don't have my phone, I have nothing to do.

But I have a rich imagination,

though, so I never get bored.

Hey. Hey. Did you sort your rent out?

No, I can't find my checkbook,

so I'm just gonna have to go down to the bank at some point.

Did you get in touch with your mechanic?

No. I checked the website,

and there was just a phone number in bright blue font

and a photo of the mechanic's dad, who's been dead.

Oh. So I'm gonna call when I get a break.

With what?

A landline.

You know what? This is bad.

Kind of think we should forfeit the challenge.

Is that insane? No. It's not.

Right? Right? Because you're struggling. I'm struggling.

You know the kids are struggling.

So I bet they just want to call it off.

They're gonna be relieved. Watch. Right?

Hey, kids.

This no phone thing is the pits, right?

No!

I love not having a phone.

I already finished my homework for today and tomorrow.

And I painted this picture.

Oh. Wow. That's--

H-Hey, hey. Oh. Diante, Dwayne, I think we said

if you two cannot get along, we don't sit by--

It's okay, Miss Teagues. Without phones,

we realized we have a lot in common.

We're friends now.

Yeah. I think to call out from the landline in your classroom,

it's, uh, star, zero, and then the phone number.

Copy that. Yeah. Yeah.

Salt and pepper.

Got it.

Psst! Hey.

What's up?

Are either of you two signed into Twitter on your computers?

Mnh-mnh. No.

Ah, that was a trick question,

as we should all be on Bluesky.

Are you logged into that?

Uh, no. Those sites are banned on work computers,

ever since we all found out how much you love to eat boogers.

For the last time-- Oh, God.

I need my phone, guys. Look, alright,

I admit that this is a little bit more inconvenient

than we all thought it'd be, but the kids are really happy.

Yeah, just try to focus on the kids.

Kids are doing great! They're-- They're laughing.

They're making up trends without a camera in sight.

My God, they're dancing like no one's watching.

I bet they're totally fine.

Of course they are.

They've lived centuries without devices.

I know.

I will admit I do miss my lock screen.

I love that picture of me.

Mm-hmm. I've been off balance all day

without my phone necklace.

Okay, I know it sucks, but we can't let them see us sweat,

right? This is supposed to be easy for us.

How you doing?

Play it cool. They think we're gonna fail 'cause we're young.

How's it going down there?

Oh. Oh. So good.

But we are sending you strength.

Aww. Thank you for that. We're gonna send it back.

Yeah. We, um, actually--

Oh, Ava, Ava, um...

it must be really hard not to, uh, text O'Shon, huh?

How ya holding up, chica?

I never text O'Shon. He texts me.

And this is the easiest thing I've ever done.

I gotta go to the bank.

Yeah, I gotta call my mechanic.

Ugh!

The Supreme Court decision in Idaho is heating up,

and none of my followers know where I stand.

What if people are changing their profile pictures

to potatoes to protest?

Is it really that big a deal?

Yes.

I hope the other teachers are handling this better than I am.

Hey, does anybody have the ESPN Fantasy Sports App?

I do. Yes!

But it's on my phone.

Wow. You really can't handle not having your phone, huh?

Well, you'd be upset, too, if you were down 6 points to a team

called "Aaron Rodgers' Really Hot Totally Not Fake Wife."

Does anybody have the Jefferson Health Patient Portal?

Anybody got that? Isn't that also on your phone?

Okay, new assignment.

Everybody come up with five potential reasons

for a sharp pain in the side.

More descriptive, the better.

And that's who runs the world now, kids.

Oh, Mr. Johnson, thank you so much for watching my class.

I'm sure... my students are now very enlightened.

Someone has to teach at this school.

Totally. Thanks.

Bye, kids. And remember what I said.

Guys, forget everything Mr. Johnson said.

Oh, and, um, go back to your worksheets,

and I will be right back, okay?

Well, that was a quick trip. You pay your rent?

Nope! Turns out without my phone,

I have no GPS and no idea how to get to the bank.

Drove around in circles for a while,

then I ask a man for directions.

He tells me to go right at the light and [bleep] at the corner.

So I came back here.

Get in touch with your mechanic?

I've been on hold.

Mechanic message: What's up? It's Reggie's Auto Pros.

It's super easy to get in touch with me using the app I made.

Not everyone needs an app! Just search "Reggie's app" wherever you get your apps.

It's fine. Guess I'll just call a cab and go down there myself.

God. It's like I can still feel it in my pocket.

I know.

Alright, now, hold on, babies.

If Mrs. Howard can just break into this computer--

Ooh!-- then we would know

the rest of our schedule.

Mrs. Howard?

Yes, baby.

Can you play the afternoon song so we can sing?

That is a wonderful idea.

Now, I will just--

I don't have my phone. You see, children,

Spotify is on my phone, which is why

we should have never strayed from records and CDs.

Are you okay, Mrs. Howard?

Yes, but I'm just a little frustrated.

I have not been able to wish my friend a happy birthday

because I don't have my phone.

Uh, that's bad.

Yes, it is.

Plus, any day now,

my grandbaby could arrive, and--

Oh, wait a minute, now.

If Taylor gives birth today,

that would be on Sister Sloss' birthday.

Oh, no.

Or...

oh, yes, because then

I could upstage Sister Sloss.

And every birthday from now on, she would be reminded of me,

Barbara Howard.

I need my phone.

ESPN just sent me a text alert. I can hear it in there.

You are also waiting for some important medical information.

What?

Oh, no, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh.

I think-- Oh!

Aah!

What are you three doing in here?

Uh, we came to read.

You came to break into the boxes.

Janine; Yes. Yeah.

Gimme that. Okay, you gotta do it--

You hear the click.

The hell going on in here? Uh, nothing.

Reconnecting with books. Mm-hmm.

Yes, and it has been so nice to spend time with books.

Yeah, without all the stupid distractions.

Like work. Yuck.

Good, 'cause... I've been enjoying this break.

You know, I didn't think I would, but really,

it's... recentered me.

What?

Ava? What's that on your ankle?

My foot. No, no, no, something lit up.

Mm-hmm. Oh. It's my ankle monitor.

I'm on house arrest.

I know that animation anywhere.

You just closed a movement ring.

Please.

Ha! Forbidden fruit.

She's wearing a smartwatch.

Fine!

I can't take this. It's straight-up torture.

I need my phone. Y'all better than me.

We are not better than you.

I need my phone, too.

Yeah, I hate to admit it, but this was a bad idea.

Very bad. Okay, why don't we just

take the "L" like champs?

We'll crack open these cases,

spend the rest of the day blasting toons.

I like that. Yeah.

Hey, Dia, would you please go down to the office,

get the key so that we can free our phones?

Now, before I walk all the way down to admin--

27 steps.

Are you all sure you want to forfeit?

Absolutely! I would do anything.

Yep. Tick tock, let's rock.

Mm-hmm. Dia.

Where do you think you're going? Ah!

Where. Do. You. Think. You're. Going?

First off, do not speak to Dia like that.

She is to be treated with respect at most times.

Second, she's going to get the key to unlock our phones.

What about the P.H.O.N.E.S Initiative?

Okay, yeah, I got it. Um, Courtney.

What's up, girlfriend? Hey.

So, we tried. We really did.

But we have important adult responsibilities

that require us to have our phones.

Like paying our rent late.

Or finding out what's wrong with my car.

Or learning if my daughter has gone into labor.

Or if Mahomes is still on the injured list.

I don't care about your sad problems.

Sad? Excuse me!

You expect our school to give up and lose out on a pizza party

because y'all aren't responsible enough to handle your business?

Alright, this is getting hurtful.

No. Hey, how about we just buy you pizza, right?

Then it's a win-win. How can you buy pizza?

You can't even afford to pay rent.

That... is a good point.

That's a good point, though. She has a point.

Okay. Listen, little girl. We're all gonna chip in, okay?

That way, we get our phones, and you get your beloved pizza.

Deal? Nope.

A deal insinuates there's more to get.

Oh, we gave her too much sauce at that science fair.

We did. Courtney, what do you want?

A trip to Disney World.

Oh. Deal.

No. You need to let that dream go.

This is called negotiating.

Okay. We want a pizza day, wings, soda,

and "KPop Demon Hunters" on repeat.

No soda, but you can have the rest.

Deal.

Now, Dia, go get them damn keys.

Yes.

You know, Courtney, one day you're gonna be in high school,

and this won't all be so cute.

But for now, adorable.

I gotta be honest with you, I had no idea

that it was gonna be this hard to go one day without a phone.

And I don't know what that says about me

or, you know, phone companies or society at large,

but I'm sure somewhere in there, there's a valuable lesson.

Thank you. Thank you. Whoo!

So much for the quiet zone.

I was just getting to the good part.

Is Andrea in that one? That's what I call my Android.

Oh. Yeah.

Four missed calls?

Okay, "Two broken brake calipers.

Best to change all four. It'll be pricier.

like 300 per wheel.

Gonna replace all four. Better safe than sorry.

Didn't hear from you, so assume that's cool.

$1,200"?! Ooh.

My rent is sent, though, so no late fees for me.

Suck it, credit score. Oh, text from my landlord.

"Do not flush your toilet.

And if you need it fixed before the weekend, text me by noon."

What the hell? Yes!

Good news? Yeah.

Got Mahomes benched, picked up Stroud,

and I got another free hour on Toon Blast.

And your medical issue?

Oh, yeah, I got to get my gallbladder removed,

but it's laparoscopic.

I only missed 76 D.M.s. My phone dry as hell.

Yeah, I missed like a ton of texts, so I feel you.

I missed six. All from Crate and Barrel.

It's a big sale. Yeah.

It's good to be connected.

I can't believe today of all days,

I couldn't tap in, the day

that the court sided with the reclamation bureau.

You know, I could have stopped this.

How?

Gregory, Gregory, Gregory.

Information is power.

There. Changed my profile picture.

And I've got so many people to update that I made a group chat.

I'm calling it Best Spuds.

Just hope I'm not too late.

Aah! What?

JustUs'Justice tagged me

in a "your silence is deafening" post,

and Zohran Mamdani liked it?!

Oh, I'm gonna be violently sick.

Oh, oh.

Gerald, sweetheart, are you okay?

Wait, what?

No, I haven't had my phone all day.

What's wrong? Wait.

Really? What?

Okay. Alright. I'm on my way.

And you better tell her don't push until I get there.

Aww. Ooh!

Yes! Okay. Taylor's water broke.

She's on her way to the hospital.

Yes.

Oh, I spoke this into existence.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Oh! Ohh.

"Happy birthday, Sister Sloss,

exclamation point. Excuse my lateness.

It seems you will be sharing a birthday with my grandbaby."

That's how you do that!

So, the bad news is you couldn't make it a day

without your phones.

The other bad news is no other school did, either.

This initiative was a huge swing and a miss by me.

People need their phones, and the district is mad at me.

Damn. Any good news, Eeyore?

Well, yes.

Uh, although you failed,

you did make it further than any other school in the district.

So we're gonna give you the pizza party!

Yay!

Why didn't you lead with that?

I could have been gloating this whole time.

You see that, kids? You still get to have a pizza party.

Unh-unh. You still have to make good on our deal.

We don't want a pizza party. We want a pizza day.

No learning. Just pizza and movies and fun.

We shook on it.

Can't argue with that.

Surely we can.

Oh, right. That's what I was supposed to do.

What, recycle?

I never do that.

Says here to talk to Emily from the district about the HVAC

while she's still here.

Well.

Damn. Guess that kite has sailed.

This is nice.

Hmm?

I said this is nice.

Mm.