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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,560
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, my God. That's it.
3
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,021
You just barge in here
and you don't knock?
4
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,106
You have no respect
for anybody's privacy.
5
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,899
- Rachel, wait.
- No, you wait.
6
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,610
- Can I just say one thing?
- What? What?
7
00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:32,072
That's a relatively open weave
and I can still see your...
8
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,242
...nippular area.
- Ugh!
9
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,507
Honey, honey, tell them the story
about your patient...
10
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:33,467
...who thinks things are
other things.
11
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,260
You know?
12
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,514
Like when the phone rings
and she takes a shower...
13
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,017
That's pretty much it.
14
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,813
But you tell it really well, sweetie.
15
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,190
Thanks. Okay.
16
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,984
Now go away so we can
talk about you.
17
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:52,903
Okay. I'll miss you.
18
00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,115
Isn't he great?
19
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,617
He's so cute. And he
likes you so much.
20
00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,868
I know. I know.
21
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,996
He's so sweet.
And so complicated, you know?
22
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,625
And for a shrink,
he's not too "shrinky. " You know?
23
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,752
So you think you'll do it on his couch?
24
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,755
Oh. I don't know. That's a little weird.
25
00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,382
It's vinyl.
26
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,346
- Okay. You guys want anything else?
- Oh, yes.
27
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,098
- Could I have...?
- Sorry, we're all out.
28
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,599
- Anybody else?
- Okay.
29
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,394
Did I, uh, miss something?
30
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:28,814
No, she's still upset
because I saw her boobies.
31
00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,568
What were you doing
seeing her boobies?
32
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:33,861
It was an accident.
33
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:36,864
I wasn't across the street with
a telescope and a box of doughnuts.
34
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,492
Can we change the subject, please?
35
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,872
Because, hello? These aren't her
"boobies. " These are her breasts.
36
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,501
Pheebs, I was hoping
for more of a change.
37
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:54,089
I don't know why you're embarrassed.
They were very nice boobies.
38
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,550
"Nice"?
39
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,051
They were "nice"?
40
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,054
That's it?
I mean, mittens are "nice. "
41
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,517
Okay. Rock, hard place...
42
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,144
...me.
43
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,483
You're so funny.
44
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,778
He's really funny.
45
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,908
I wouldn't want to be there when
the laughter stops.
46
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,118
Whoa, whoa. Back up there, sparky.
47
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,663
What did you mean by that?
48
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,792
It seems that maybe
you have intimacy issues...
49
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,838
...that you use your humor
to keep people at a distance.
50
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,132
Huh.
51
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,219
I mean, hey, I just met you.
I don't know you from Adam.
52
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,138
Only child, right?
53
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,850
Parents divorced
before you hit puberty.
54
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,562
Uh-huh. How did you know?
55
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,397
It's textbook.
56
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,693
Hey, you guys.
57
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,487
You all know my dad, right?
58
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,406
- How long are you in the city?
- A couple of days.
59
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,699
I got a job midtown.
60
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,785
I figure I'm better off
staying with the kid...
61
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,663
...than hauling my ass back and forth
on the ferry.
62
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,039
I don't know this one.
63
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,375
- Oh. This is my friend Roger.
- Hi.
64
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,210
- Good to meet you.
- You too.
65
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,255
What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
66
00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:18,715
- Dad, uh...
- Oh, oh.
67
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:19,967
Excuse me.
68
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,843
So, Ross, uh, how's the wife?
69
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,431
Oh for two, huh? Heh.
70
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,142
Uh, Chandler, quick,
say something funny.
71
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,029
Gotta go. Ha, ha.
I miss you too.
72
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,365
I love you,
but it's getting late now...
73
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,242
Let me say hi. Hey, Ma.
74
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:49,162
Listen, I made the appointment
with Dr. Bassida and...
75
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,456
Excuse me?
76
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,503
Did you know this isn't Ma?
77
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,722
Her name's Ronni.
78
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,891
She's a pet mortician.
79
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,230
Sure.
80
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,358
So how long have you been...
81
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,363
Remember when you were a kid,
I'd take you to the Navy yard...
82
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:24,990
...and show you the big ships?
83
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,994
- Since then?
- No, it's only been six years.
84
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,871
I wanted to give you
a nice memory...
85
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:34,333
...so you'd know I wasn't always
such a terrible guy.
86
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,338
Joe, have you ever been in love?
87
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,090
I don't know.
88
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,217
Then you haven't.
89
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,804
- You're burning your tomatoes.
- Hmm. You're one to talk.
90
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,351
Joe, your dad's in love, bigtime.
91
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,354
And the worst part is,
it's with two different women.
92
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,648
Oh, man. Please tell me
one of them is Ma.
93
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,818
Of course one of them's Ma.
What's the matter with you?
94
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,121
It's like if you woke up one day
and found out...
95
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,457
...your dad was
leading this double life.
96
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:19,669
He's, like, actually some spy
working for the CIA.
97
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,588
That'd be cool.
98
00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:23,840
This blows.
99
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,970
I know. Why can't parents
just stay parents?
100
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,139
Why do they
have to become people?
101
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,308
Why do they have...?
102
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,811
Why...
103
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,357
...can't you stop staring
at my breasts?
104
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:46,363
What?
105
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,950
Didn't you get a good enough
look the other day?
106
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,576
All right, we're all adults here.
107
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,579
There's only one way
to resolve this.
108
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,331
Since you saw her boobies...
109
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:59,084
...I think, uh, you're gonna have to
show her your pee-pee.
110
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,971
You know,
I don't see that happening.
111
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,516
Come on. He's right.
Tit for tat.
112
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,898
Well I'm not showing you my tat.
113
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,027
Hello?
114
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,488
- It's Phoebe.
- And Rog.
115
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:30,907
Come on up.
116
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,119
Oh, good. Rog is here.
117
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,540
- What's the matter with Rog?
- Nothing. It's a little thing.
118
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,584
I hate that guy.
119
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,880
What? So he was a little analytical.
That's what he does.
120
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,007
Come on, he's not that bad.
121
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,010
That's where you're wrong.
Why would I marry her...
122
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:53,054
...if I thought on any level
that she was a lesbian?
123
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,390
I don't know.
124
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,350
Maybe you wanted
your marriage to fail.
125
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,441
- Ha, ha.
- Why? Why would I? Why?
126
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,485
Why? Why? Why?
127
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:10,655
I don't know.
Maybe low self-esteem?
128
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,868
Maybe to compensate
for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe...
129
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,913
Wait.
Go back to that "sibling" thing.
130
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,832
Well, I don't know.
131
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,211
It's conceivable that
you sabotaged your marriage...
132
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,089
...so the sibling would be less
of a failure in the parents' eyes.
133
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:35,722
That's ridiculous.
I don't feel guilty for her failures.
134
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,186
- Oh, so you think I'm a failure?
- Isn't he good?
135
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:44,689
Yeah. No.
That's not what I was saying.
136
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,942
All these years,
I thought you were on my side...
137
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,528
...but maybe you were
sucking up to Mom and Dad...
138
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:50,862
...so they'd favor you.
139
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,490
Hey, I married a lesbian
to make you look good.
140
00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,621
You're right.
141
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,289
I mean, you're right.
142
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,293
It wasn't just the Weebles,
but it was the Weeble Play Palace...
143
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,257
...and the Weeble's Cruise Ship...
144
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:14,427
...which had this little lifeboat
for the Weebles to wobble in.
145
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,472
That's tough, tough stuff.
146
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:21,101
Pheebs, if we're gonna
catch that movie, we gotta go.
147
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,978
Okay. Feel better, okay?
148
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,063
- We're gonna be late, sweetie.
- Okay.
149
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,108
- Listen, thanks for everything, Mon.
- No problem.
150
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,235
It was great seeing you again.
151
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,824
Mon, uh, easy on those cookies, okay?
152
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,201
Remember, they're just food...
153
00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:39,828
...they're not love.
154
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,917
I hate that guy.
155
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,880
Good night, you guys.
156
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,553
Oh, look.
It's the woman we ordered.
157
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,976
Hey. Can, uh... Can we help you?
158
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,479
Oh. No, thanks. I'm just waiting
for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
159
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,399
I'm Joey Tribbiani.
160
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:13,236
Oh. Oh, no, not you. Big Joey.
161
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,487
Oh, my God.
162
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,365
You're so much cuter than
your pictures.
163
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,536
I'm Ronni.
164
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:25,790
Cheese Nip?
165
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,337
Uh, Joey's having an embolism...
166
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,213
...but I'd go for a Nip.
167
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,015
You see, most people,
when their pets pass on...
168
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,893
...they want them laid out
like they're sleeping.
169
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:48,271
But occasionally you get a person
who wants them in a pose.
170
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,232
Like, uh, chasing their tail.
171
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:55,236
Or, uh, jumping to catch a Frisbee.
172
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,948
Joey, if I go first, I want to be
looking for my keys.
173
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,203
- That's a good one.
- Hey, Joe.
174
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,954
Hey, Dad. Ronni's here.
175
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,456
- Huh?
- Hi.
176
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,916
- Hey.
- Hey.
177
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,626
Hello, babe.
178
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,796
What are...? What are you doing here?
179
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,757
Oh, uh, you left your hair
at my apartment.
180
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,385
I figured you'd need it
for your meeting.
181
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,263
Thank you. Uh...
182
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,851
So who's up for a big
game of Kerplunk?
183
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,440
Look, I, uh...
184
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,317
I shouldn't have come.
185
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,986
I gotta go.
I'll miss the last train.
186
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,280
No, I don't want you taking
that thing this late.
187
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,866
- Where am I gonna stay? Here?
- Whoa.
188
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:46,913
We'll go to a hotel.
189
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,458
- No, you won't.
- No, we won't.
190
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,586
If you go to a hotel,
you'll be doing stuff.
191
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,756
I want you right here,
where I can keep an eye on you.
192
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,633
You're gonna keep an eye on us?
193
00:11:58,843 --> 00:11:59,884
That's right, mister.
194
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,595
I don't care how old you are,
while you're here...
195
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,265
...you're gonna live by my rules.
196
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,771
And that means no sleeping
with your girlfriend.
197
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,066
Wow, he's strict.
198
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,776
Dad, you'll be in my room.
199
00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:20,029
Ronni, uh, you can stay in
Chandler's room.
200
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,657
Thanks.
You're a good kid.
201
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,909
Come on.
I'll show you to my room.
202
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,498
That sounds weird when it's not
followed by, "No, thanks, it's late. "
203
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:38,131
Okay. This is just for tonight.
Starting tomorrow, you gotta change.
204
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,884
- Six years is long enough.
- What kind of change?
205
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,094
- Break up with Ronni...
- I can't.
206
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,972
Then come clean with Ma.
This is not right.
207
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,225
I don't wanna hear it.
Now go to my room.
208
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,908
Hey, kickie.
209
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,121
- What are you doing?
- Trying to get comfortable.
210
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,249
- I can't sleep in my underwear.
- Well, you're gonna.
211
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,382
I've been thinking...
212
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,928
...about how I'm always
seeing girls on top of girls.
213
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,184
Are they end-to-end,
or tall, like pancakes?
214
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,771
You know what I mean.
How I date all these women.
215
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:37,857
I always figured, when
the right one comes along...
216
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,402
...I'll be able to be a standup guy
and go the distance, you know?
217
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,030
Now I'm looking at my Dad thinking...
218
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,658
You're not him, you're you.
219
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,412
When they wanted you to go into
your father's business, did you cave?
220
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,705
- No.
- No.
221
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,250
You decided to go into
the out-of-work-actor business.
222
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,587
That wasn't easy, but you did it.
223
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,216
And I believe that
when the right woman comes along...
224
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,343
...you'll have the guts to say:
225
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,970
"No thanks, I'm married. "
226
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:14,978
You really think so?
227
00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,313
Yeah. I really do.
228
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,148
- Thanks, Chandler.
- Get off.
229
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,329
- Hi.
- Hi.
230
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:34,581
May I help you?
231
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:38,501
Uh, Joey said I could use your shower
since, uh, Chandler's in ours.
232
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,254
Okay. Who are you?
233
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,799
- Oh, uh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono.
- Uh-huh.
234
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,968
The mistress?
235
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,889
- Um, come on in.
- Thanks.
236
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,057
Hi, I'm Rachel.
Bathroom's up there.
237
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,309
Hey, Ronni.
238
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,686
How long has Chandler been
in the shower?
239
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,688
Oh. Like, uh, five minutes.
240
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,065
Perfect.
241
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,861
Fasten your seat belts...
242
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,696
...it's pee-pee time.
243
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,995
Hey, Mr. Trib.
244
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,914
Hey. Good morning, dear.
245
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,711
Chandler Bing,
it's time to see your thing.
246
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,893
- What's the matter with you?
- I thought it was Chandler.
247
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:40,813
You were supposed to be in there
so I could see your thing.
248
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:45,276
Sorry, my thing
was in there with me.
249
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,035
- Hey.
- Hey, Pheebs.
250
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,621
- How's it going?
- Good. Oh, oh.
251
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,540
Roger's having a dinner thing
and he wanted me to invite you guys.
252
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,547
- So, what's going on?
- Nothing.
253
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,424
It's just that, uh...
254
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,510
It's Roger.
255
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,513
Um, ahem, I don't know.
There's something about... Ahem.
256
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,974
Basically, we just feel
that he's, uh...
257
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,266
We hate that guy.
258
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:18,726
We hate him.
259
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,478
We're sorry, Pheebs.
260
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,980
Uh-huh. Okay.
261
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:25,566
Don't you think maybe it's just that
he's so perceptive...
262
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,443
...that it freaked you out?
263
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,445
- No, I hate him.
- No, we hate him.
264
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,822
I'm sorry.
265
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,795
Ma. What are you doing here?
266
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,047
I came to give you this...
267
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:49,549
...and this.
- Ow.
268
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,259
Big ring.
269
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,554
Why did you fill your father's head
with that garbage...
270
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,432
...about making things right?
271
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,934
Things were fine the way they were.
272
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,854
There's chicken in there.
Put it away.
273
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,982
For God's sake, Joey.
Really.
274
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,986
Hold on. You knew?
275
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,572
Of course I knew.
What do you think?
276
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,199
Your father is no James Bond.
277
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,285
You should have heard
his cover stories.
278
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,787
"I'm sleeping over at
my accountant's. "
279
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,290
I mean, what is that?
Please.
280
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,375
So then, how could you...?
281
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,086
Do you remember
how your father used to be?
282
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:31,549
Always yelling.
Nothing made him happy.
283
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,511
Not that wood shop, not those
stupid little ships in the bottle.
284
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,263
Now he's happy.
285
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,099
I mean, it's nice.
He has a hobby.
286
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:46,022
Ma, I don't mean
to be disrespectful, but...
287
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,940
...what the hell
are you talking about?
288
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,612
- I mean, what about you?
- Me? I'm fine.
289
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,614
Look, honey...
290
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,075
...in an ideal world...
291
00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:00,536
...there'd be no her and your father
would look like Sting.
292
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,582
And I'll tell you something else:
293
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,169
Ever since that
poodle-stuffer came along...
294
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,715
...he's been so ashamed of himself
that he's been more attentive.
295
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,801
He's been more loving.
296
00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,553
It's like every day is
our anniversary.
297
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,181
I'm happy for you?
298
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,599
Well, don't be.
299
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,519
Because now everything's screwed up.
300
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:30,274
I just want it the way it was.
301
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,402
Ma, I'm sorry.
302
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:37,115
I just did what
I thought you'd want.
303
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:41,285
I know you did, cookie.
Oh, I know you did.
304
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,665
So tell me...
305
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,167
Did you see her?
306
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:50,795
Yeah.
307
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,340
You're 10 times prettier
than she is.
308
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,883
That's sweet.
309
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:58,970
Could I take her?
310
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,974
With this ring, no contest.
311
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,397
- What's wrong, sweetie?
- Nothing.
312
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:12,150
No, no. What's wrong? Come on.
313
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,776
Okay.
314
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,781
It's nothing. I'm fine.
315
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,950
It's just, um...
It's my friends.
316
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,870
They have a liking problem with you...
317
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,329
...in that, um...
318
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,956
...they don't.
319
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,752
Oh. They don't?
320
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,046
But you know...
321
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:37,091
...they don't see all
of the wonderfulness that I see.
322
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:40,845
They don't see all the good stuff
and all the sweet stuff.
323
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,638
They think you're a little...
324
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,100
- What?
- Intense and creepy.
325
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,854
Oh.
326
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,648
But I don't. Me. Phoebe.
327
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,111
Well, I'm not at all surprised
they feel that way.
328
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,739
You're not?
See, that's why you're so great.
329
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,241
Actually, it's
quite typical behavior...
330
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:06,662
...when you have this kind
of dysfunctional group dynamic.
331
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,498
You know, this kind of codependent...
332
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,375
...emotionally stunted...
333
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:16,797
...sitting in your stupid coffeehouse,
with your stupid big cups...
334
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,384
...which, I'm sorry, might as well
have nipples on them.
335
00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:26,307
And you're all like,
"Oh, define me. Define me.
336
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,310
Love me. I need love. "
337
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,438
So you talked to your dad, huh?
338
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,691
Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on Ma,
like she wanted.
339
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,527
Ma's gonna keep pretending
she doesn't know even though she does.
340
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,530
And my sister Tina
can't see her husband anymore...
341
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,824
...because he got
a restraining order.
342
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:48,079
Which has nothing to do with it,
except that I found out today.
343
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,288
Wow.
344
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:52,083
Things sure have changed here
on Walton's mountain.
345
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,419
So, Joey, are you okay?
346
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,171
Yeah, I guess.
347
00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:59,674
It's just...
You know, they're parents.
348
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,885
After a certain point,
you gotta let go.
349
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,762
Even if you know better...
350
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,473
...you gotta let them make
their own mistakes.
351
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:08,724
And just think...
352
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,060
...in a couple years,
we get to turn into them.
353
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,687
Oh, please.
354
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,523
If I turn into my parents,
I'll either be an alcoholic blond...
355
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:18,776
...chasing after 20-year-old boys...
356
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,820
...or I'll end up like my mom.
357
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,867
- Hey.
- Hey, Pheebs.
358
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,536
How's it going?
359
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,039
Okay, except I broke up with Roger.
360
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,791
Oh.
361
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,126
Yeah, right.
362
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,920
No, no, really. Aw.
363
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:42,925
- What happened?
- Ugh. I don't know. I mean...
364
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,635
He's a good person...
365
00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:46,762
...and he can be really sweet.
366
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:50,266
And in some ways,
I think he is so right for me.
367
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,935
It's just, I hate that guy.
368
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,112
Hey, Joey. What's going on?
369
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,990
Clear the tracks for the boobie
payback express.
370
00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,034
Next stop, Rachel Green.
371
00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,751
Joey, what the hell were you doing?
372
00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:19,545
Sorry, wrong boobies.
373
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:33,893
Hello, Joey.
374
00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:36,645
Hello, dear.
375
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,861
[English - US - SDH]
376
00:22:44,305 --> 00:22:50,710
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