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1
00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:03,481
- Throw the ball.
Let's go.
2
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:04,787
- Cops suck!
3
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:05,788
- Cops do not suck.
4
00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,572
Firefighters suck.
5
00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:08,791
- Plate's that way, Polonski.
6
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,140
- Come on.
You're terrible.
7
00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:12,186
- You suck, bitch.
What's up?
8
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,013
- Shut up.
9
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:16,973
[all clamoring]
10
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,235
- You trying to hit me, cop?
11
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,411
- It's high-pitch softball.
I can't hit you.
12
00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:22,022
- Yeah, how about you get that
bat off your shoulder, huh?
13
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,284
Maybe swing at something.
I don't know.
14
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:24,546
- Give me something
to swing at, then.
15
00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:25,851
- Come on, Granny.
16
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:27,897
Come on, Granny.
- Choke on this.
17
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,551
- You suck, Polonski.
18
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,379
- [screaming]
19
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:34,817
[all shouting]
20
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:35,687
- Time out.
He's hurt.
21
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,428
- [shrieking]
22
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,082
- We got a guy down.
23
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:39,952
- You guys
are first responders.
24
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,171
Come on.
25
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:44,087
- You're first responders, too.
Respond.
26
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:46,655
- Come on, Granny,
you're a medic.
27
00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:48,483
- Stop running!
28
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:49,875
[all clamoring]
29
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,573
- Whoo!
- [screaming]
30
00:00:51,616 --> 00:00:53,966
- Talk about a high-pitch.
31
00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:56,795
[classic rock music]
32
00:00:56,839 --> 00:01:01,626
♪
33
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:04,673
- ♪ Well, I'm hot blooded
34
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:07,110
♪ Check it and see
35
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:10,766
♪ I got a fever
of a hundred and three ♪
36
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:14,639
♪ I'm hot blooded
37
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:17,077
- Man, I love whipping
the cops' ass at softball.
38
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,208
- Yes, indeed.
39
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:20,297
- Yeah, they suck,
especially Shuck.
40
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:21,690
That guy creeps me out.
41
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,213
He always stares
right under my boobs.
42
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:24,823
- You mean right at your boobs.
- No, under.
43
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:25,868
- What?
- Under.
44
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,652
- Ugh.
- [vocalizing]
45
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:30,090
- Oh, shit.
46
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,830
Ike, that is one big python
between your legs.
47
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:33,528
- Aww, thanks, Granny.
48
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:34,094
- Has it always been that big?
49
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:37,227
- If I had something like that,
50
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:40,535
- You can handle it.
No problem.
51
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:41,710
As long as I guide you,
52
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:42,928
you can do
whatever you want to it.
53
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:45,235
- I'm a little scared.
- [grunts]
54
00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,150
Name's Squeezy.
55
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,064
She's part of
my new exotic dance routine.
56
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,326
- Why'd you bring her here?
57
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,502
- Oh, my apartment's
infested with mice,
58
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:53,025
so we had to get
an exterminator,
59
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,331
and we had to evacuate,
60
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:57,073
which sucks
because exterminators
61
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,162
are mucho expensivo,
aren't they?
62
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:00,729
- Why don't you just let
the snake take care of it?
63
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,339
- Hmm, let me think.
64
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:03,340
Because snakes
don't have any money, Andy.
65
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:04,950
[laughs]
66
00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:06,996
- Regardless, man, you need
to hide that thing, all right?
67
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:09,172
If Chief sees it,
he's gonna blow a gasket.
68
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,652
- No, no, it's impossible.
He'll never know it's here.
69
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,001
Trust me.
70
00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,394
I pop her
in the little case here,
71
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,265
she takes a disco nap...
We're all good, buddy.
72
00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:16,788
[snake hisses]
73
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:20,183
[vocalizing]
74
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,054
- Hey, let's go.
Press conference is starting.
75
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:24,622
Come on.
76
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:27,451
- Last night, a warehouse full
of adult toys burned down.
77
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:30,062
It's the second adult toy
warehouse to burn down
78
00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:31,368
in the last two weeks,
79
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:34,284
which leads us
to believe this was arson.
80
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:37,200
As this is an ongoing crime,
the police and fire departments
81
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,115
will be forming a joint
task force to solve this--
82
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,290
- What?
- [groans]
83
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:42,901
- Ken Walters,
"My Neighborhood App."
84
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:44,207
Which businesses were hit?
85
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,557
- The first was Suckceptions,
then, last night,
86
00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:50,692
the EverThrust warehouse
burned down one block away.
87
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,041
- Any casualties?
- No.
88
00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:53,564
But lots of inventory damage.
89
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:54,696
- What type of inventory?
90
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:56,828
- Toys, paraphernalia.
91
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,482
- Could you list the items,
92
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,180
just so we know what
we're dealing with here?
93
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:02,530
- Uh...
94
00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:06,403
Vibrators, dildos, strap-ons,
95
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:09,276
gag balls, whips,
96
00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:12,192
nipple clamps,
sex dolls,
97
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:16,196
sex swings,
artificial vaginas,
98
00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:18,981
bondage kits, flavored lubes,
99
00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:21,462
et cetera, et cetera.
100
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,594
- Oh, and what exactly
are those items used for?
101
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:26,771
- They're for sexual
and masturbatory pleasure.
102
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,165
[laughter]
103
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:33,735
Oh, I get it.
Okay.
104
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:35,867
Very funny.
105
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:38,609
[rock music]
106
00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:42,657
♪
107
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,053
- What are you even looking at?
108
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:49,577
- I'm a rib guy.
- What does that mean?
109
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,014
- Means I like ribs,
and you got some nice ones.
110
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:52,971
- All right, enough, enough.
111
00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,495
- She started it,
112
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,584
putting her ribs
all out there for me to see.
113
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,586
- How can you even see
my ribs through the shirt?
114
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,283
- You can't flaunt those ribs
and expect me not to look.
115
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,067
- Hey, shut up.
- You shut up.
116
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:03,373
- You shut up.
[overlapping chatter]
117
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,722
- Ho! Ho!
118
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,594
Hey, hey, hey, all right,
all right, all right.
119
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,596
Come on.
Listen up.
120
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:11,425
We will be breaking up
into teams of TFD and TPD.
121
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:14,254
The first team,
Myawani, McConky, Salazar.
122
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:15,037
- Chief!
123
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,256
- Carajo de mierda.
124
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:17,474
- Maybe a little sex
with the ex.
125
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:18,823
- Never.
126
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,303
- All right, the three of you
will be at the site
127
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,044
of the last warehouse
to burn down.
128
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:23,088
You'll be gathering evidence.
129
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,916
The next team, Crystal, Shuck.
130
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,483
- Aww, shucks.
131
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:28,137
- There is a third warehouse
in the area.
132
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:28,964
It's called the Dildo Dojo.
133
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,531
- Funny name.
134
00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,272
- We have reason to believe
it is the next target,
135
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:33,360
so you'll be
keeping an eye on that.
136
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,275
- A little stakeout action,
huh?
137
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:37,494
- [laughs]
- Stakeout action.
138
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:38,843
Surveillance is cop work.
139
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,236
- Really? Is it?
both: Yeah.
140
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,324
- Yeah, Ike.
- All right, Granny.
141
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,847
- Who I get?
142
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,719
- You will be at the police
station with Captain Polonski.
143
00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:46,329
You'll be consolidating
the fire and police report
144
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,112
into one report.
145
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:51,508
The Mayor's Office doesn't want
an arsonist running around.
146
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,554
There's a lot of people
very concerned.
147
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:54,816
- Yeah, I hear
the butt plug enthusiasts
148
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:55,860
are being
a giant pain in the ass.
149
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:57,688
- Oh, nice one, Cap.
150
00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,342
- Yeah, the S&M people
are really cracking the whip.
151
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,169
[laughter]
152
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,347
[laughter]
153
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:08,133
- I heard the dildo boys
have a...
154
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:11,267
- No, you got it, bud.
155
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,660
- I don't have one, Chief.
Sorry.
156
00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:14,183
- All right, that's it.
Come on, everybody, let's go.
157
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:15,967
Go catch an arsonist.
Let's do it.
158
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:20,363
[upbeat music]
159
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,931
- EverThrust dildos:
One size doesn't fit all.
160
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,281
Yeah, right.
Hmm, they all fit.
161
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,283
- All right, you two start
gathering evidence.
162
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,764
I'll be taking pictures,
so stay out of my way.
163
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:31,722
- Why don't you let
the fire experts do their job,
164
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,115
and you stay out of our way?
165
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:35,030
- Hey, I have more business
here than you do,
166
00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,901
[speaking Spanish].
167
00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:38,990
This is a crime scene.
168
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,906
- You're right.
And the crime is arson.
169
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,647
- Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.
170
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,388
Listen,
you do what you need to do,
171
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,694
and we'll do
what we need to do.
172
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:47,999
Cool?
- Whatever.
173
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,437
[camera flashes]
174
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,916
- I mean...
175
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,701
- Auspicious start.
176
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,659
I wonder how the stakeout
in dildo-town's going.
177
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,226
[laughs]
178
00:05:57,269 --> 00:06:00,403
[mysterious jazz music]
179
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:03,798
- It was a hot August night
in dildo-town.
180
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,148
Me and my new hotshot partner
were investigating
181
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,933
an arsonist who was targeting
Tacoman perverts.
182
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,331
So far, no luck.
183
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,680
- You really gonna eat
this shit?
184
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:17,638
- No, no, I'm not gonna eat it,
185
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,250
I might eat
the beef jerky, but...
186
00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:22,469
- Why are you even here?
187
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,819
This has nothing
to do with firefighting.
188
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,342
This is cop work, okay?
189
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,430
You know who's a cop?
Me.
190
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,910
- Okay.
191
00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:29,998
- All right, if I wanted
to hang out with firefighters,
192
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,434
I'd go to a fire.
193
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:32,827
- Hey, dude,
194
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:35,743
not the best way to start off
a partnership, okay?
195
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:38,441
- Let's get something straight,
bucko.
196
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:39,834
We ain't partners,
we ain't brothers,
197
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:40,922
and we ain't friends.
198
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:43,054
- Oh, yeah.
And we ain't classmates
199
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:45,579
or business associates
or pen pals.
200
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:47,755
- What are you talking about?
- What are you talking about?
201
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:48,843
- [scoffs]
202
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,497
[both scoffing]
203
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,629
- [spits]
204
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,457
- [spits]
- Don't--did you really spit?
205
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:55,806
- [scoffs]
206
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,939
- Hello?
207
00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,244
Hello?
208
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,856
- Hold on.
Coming.
209
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,988
[groans]
210
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:05,555
Oh, okay.
211
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:07,818
Of all the people,
they sent you?
212
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:10,299
- We have a problem?
- You shattered my patella.
213
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,083
- Welcome to softball.
214
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:13,476
- I was screaming!
215
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,956
- You always scream.
- You know what?
216
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:17,175
Fine. just sift through
all the reports by yourself
217
00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:18,307
'cause if you're not
gonna help me,
218
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:19,177
then I'm not gonna help you.
219
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,178
- Fine.
- Fine.
220
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:21,571
- Fine.
- Fine!
221
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:22,877
- Fine!
222
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,748
- Fine.
223
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,010
Ow.
224
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,666
- Are you kidding me?
Look at this.
225
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,625
- Hey, what do you
want to do for lunch?
226
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:32,800
You want to order
from Blobby's Barbecue?
227
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,192
- Nah, I'm on a diet.
228
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:34,976
I brought fruit
and cottage cheese.
229
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,456
- Sucks for you.
230
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:37,326
- Yeah, well,
maybe you shouldn't order
231
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,458
from Blobby's Barbecue.
232
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,807
You're looking a little jowly.
233
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,200
- You're calling me jowly?
Okay, all right.
234
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:44,507
[cat meows]
Hey, little fella.
235
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,074
How you doing, buddy?
You lost?
236
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:47,075
- Hey,
get that cat out of here.
237
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,511
- No, dude.
He's a stray.
238
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,121
- This is ridiculous.
Look at this.
239
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,427
The hose and the lad--
this is your crew.
240
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,602
- I'll get it in a sec.
241
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,125
- Oh, no, no, please,
I'll get it.
242
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,257
I'm just the chief.
243
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,432
- Oh, yeah, I'm just the chief.
244
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,825
- Get that cat
out of here in one minute
245
00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,522
or I'm gonna punt it.
- Terry, that's bad karma.
246
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,872
One day, an animal's
gonna get you.
247
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,265
- Yeah, that'll be the day.
248
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,920
[dramatic music]
249
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:08,096
[snake hisses]
250
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,446
♪
251
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,060
- This sounded
way more fun on paper.
252
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:17,714
- I know.
253
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:20,935
I'm gonna have so many
nightmares about melted dildos.
254
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:22,850
- Oh, what's this?
255
00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:26,244
- Huh.
Look at this.
256
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:29,247
[romantic music]
257
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:33,338
♪
258
00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,862
[both chuckling]
259
00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:36,472
It's like
that animated dog movie
260
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,952
where they eat
a big plate of spaghetti.
261
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:39,867
- Yeah, and I must be
the girl dog, right?
262
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,259
- I mean, it also reminds me
263
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,261
of that Valentine's Day party
in Seattle.
264
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:44,567
- Oh, my God.
265
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:45,481
- I mean, that night,
I was the bitch.
266
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,048
- Yes, you were.
267
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,528
[both laughing]
268
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,878
You're so funny.
269
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:54,142
[both laughing]
270
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,317
I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
271
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,320
[both barking]
272
00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,669
- Hey, come on, can you help me
out up here, please?
273
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:00,975
- Oh, yeah.
274
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:02,193
He's a hungry little guy,
this guy.
275
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:04,282
Just wants some food.
- Oh, yeah?
276
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,719
You should take him
to Blobby's Barbecue.
277
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,155
- Maybe I will.
278
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:08,678
Hey,
I thought of a name for him.
279
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,680
- I don't care.
- When Vicky and I were kids,
280
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:11,899
we had two cats,
281
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,814
Soup and Salad.
My cat was Salad.
282
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,772
- Great, yeah.
You told me a million times.
283
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,861
Your best friend was Salad,
and you used to cry to him
284
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,080
when you dad was mean to you.
285
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,690
- That's right,
and this little guy
286
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,692
is gonna be Salad 2.
- Great, that's awesome.
287
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,955
- Which should make you happy
since you're on a diet.
288
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:26,653
- I'm not on a diet.
I'm just watching what I eat.
289
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:27,567
There's a difference.
290
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,745
- Wow, Eddie,
there's a giant snake up here!
291
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,398
- Oh, okay.
Does it look like a hose?
292
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:34,356
- Eddie, help me!
293
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:37,359
as if that's even possible.
294
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,317
- Help me!
He's going in my shirt!
295
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:40,710
- Holy shit.
296
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:43,365
- Help me out.
He's wrapping around me.
297
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:45,106
- Eddie!
You can understand why
298
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:46,237
I thought you were joking,
right?
299
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:47,543
- Get him off of me.
Get him off of me.
300
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,414
Where are you going?
301
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,764
It's around my leg.
- I gotta pry him off.
302
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,896
- Help me!
- Okay.
303
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,332
- Damn it.
Help me out, Eddie.
304
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,507
- He's got you wrapped up.
- Watch out for my balls.
305
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:56,813
- Okay.
- Now he's squeezing me.
306
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:57,988
- Okay, hold on.
He's got--Oh, my God.
307
00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,599
He's got my arm.
308
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:02,166
- I specifically requested
a longer lens.
309
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,907
- Bingo.
[laughs]
310
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,561
Just booked a cruise.
311
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,736
- Cool story, dude.
312
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,042
- Ah, man,
it's gonna be awesome.
313
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:11,001
This ship goes right up
to this, like, ice wall,
314
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:14,831
which basically holds
everything in because...
315
00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,441
I don't know
if you know this, but--
316
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,183
- The Earth is flat?
317
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:21,142
- Wait, you know
that the Earth is flat?
318
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:23,361
- Yeah.
- Seriously?
319
00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,146
- Wait are you talking about
the Flat Earthers cruise?
320
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,626
- Yes, dude,
I just booked a ticket on it.
321
00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:28,410
- Why didn't you tell me?
I wanted to go on that.
322
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,760
- I didn't know you knew!
- I know!
323
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:32,501
- You know the Earth is flat!
- I do!
324
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:33,458
- Can't believe
everybody thinks
325
00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:34,677
that the Earth is a globe.
326
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:37,375
Like, if it's a globe,
where are the curves?
327
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:38,681
- Where is the curve?
- Right?
328
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,727
- Look at the horizon.
Right?
329
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:42,729
Could not be more flat, okay?
330
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,165
- Doesn't go like this.
331
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:47,211
- No, and all those "photos"
that "NASA" took
332
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,343
from "space," please.
333
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:50,650
- So fake.
- So fake.
334
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:52,782
- And I guess everybody
in Australia is just literally
335
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,002
walking around upside down,
governor?
336
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:56,699
Yeah.
337
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:57,874
Yeah, we're upside down.
338
00:10:57,918 --> 00:10:59,267
- Right on.
339
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,790
You're okay.
340
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,792
- You too, bro.
341
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:03,663
Want to get a picture
real quick?
342
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,708
- Yeah.
343
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,231
- Hey.
- What?
344
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,885
- I'm looking for info
on the accelerant,
345
00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:10,234
but I'm not seeing
the chem reports.
346
00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:11,366
- It's in the evidence room.
347
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,107
- Okay.
348
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:14,717
- Actually, you know what?
I will get it.
349
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,458
- Nah, I'll get it, man.
- Nope, I got it.
350
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,634
- I mean, I could--
- Nope. I got it.
351
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,635
- Dude, why are you
being weird about it?
352
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,810
I can go get it.
- Totally good.
353
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,420
I need the exercise.
I got it.
354
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:23,683
- [yells]
God!
355
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,249
- I got it.
- Just let me get it.
356
00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:27,295
- I got it.
- Just let me get it.
357
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,253
- I got i--aah!
- Oh, my God.
358
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:30,864
Hey, you okay?
- I am fine!
359
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,822
I got it.
- Okay.
360
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,128
Here, let me...
361
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:35,651
- [groans]
362
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,739
- All right, man, just--
363
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,481
- My finger!
Get away!
364
00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:41,526
- You got it?
- Yep.
365
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,006
- Okay, cool.
366
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,312
- Hey.
- I'ma go get the file now.
367
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,227
- No, no, no!
368
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,664
- Calm down.
369
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,448
Holy shit.
370
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:52,276
Steel drums?
371
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,538
[chuckles]
372
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:54,888
- I told you not to
come in here.
373
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,498
- Is this what
you were afraid of?
374
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:58,935
That I'd find your steel drums?
375
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:00,502
- I had them at home,
but I had to bring them in here
376
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:01,546
when the baby came.
377
00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:02,765
- What are you ashamed of?
378
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,593
- I'm a police captain.
379
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:07,770
I have a reputation
to uphold as a professional,
380
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:08,728
and that doesn't include
381
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,733
- Well, let me hear you play.
- I told you.
382
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,299
I can't.
- Why not?
383
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,736
- Because you crippled me.
384
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:18,650
- Oh, man.
385
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:19,913
- You crippled me!
386
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:22,350
[upbeat music]
387
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,308
- How's it going?
- Oh, good.
388
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:25,919
I think I might be
onto something.
389
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,659
- What do you think
about Salazar?
390
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:28,748
- I hate her.
Why?
391
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:32,534
- Yes.
392
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,362
- Cool, cool, cool.
Cool.
393
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,712
Cool.
394
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,410
- Hey, girl.
How's it going?
395
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:40,934
- Why are you
"Hey, girl"-ing me?
396
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,283
- Does Andy have a girlfriend?
397
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:43,937
- I don't know.
He keeps that stuff private.
398
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:44,981
- You guys seem friendly.
399
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,113
- That's because we're friends.
400
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:47,767
- Oh.
401
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,421
But he looks fine, though,
right?
402
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:51,814
- Yeah, he's a total hottie,
403
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,207
and I think
he might be into you.
404
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:56,645
- [gasps]
10-4?
405
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:59,517
Right now,
I'm bagging dildos with Andy,
406
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:02,520
but, tonight, I'm gonna be
bagging Andy with dildos.
407
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,349
Thanks, girl.
408
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,960
- [retches]
- Hey, Luce.
409
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,397
Doesn't think look like
a player piece for a boardgame?
410
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,312
- It does.
- But this one's for butts.
411
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,704
[laughs]
412
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,445
[both grunting]
413
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:16,230
- This snake
is deceptively fast.
414
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,058
- Okay, all right.
Oh, my God, look at him.
415
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,624
Oh, my God, he's right here.
Oh, my God.
416
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:20,974
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
417
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,366
If you weren't screwing around
with that cat,
418
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:23,411
we wouldn't be having
this problem right now.
419
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:24,978
- What are you
so worried about?
420
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,414
It's gonna eat me first.
- It's not gonna eat you first.
421
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:27,937
It's gonna eat me.
422
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,373
Whoa, look, it's the cat.
- Oh, my God.
423
00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:30,374
- It's the cat.
Call the cat over here.
424
00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:31,549
- No.
- Oh, come here, kitty.
425
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:32,986
Call the cat.
Here, kitty, kitty.
426
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,422
Here, kitty, kitty.
It's not coming.
427
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,858
It's not coming.
This is why I hate cats.
428
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:36,990
You call them,
they don't come.
429
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,513
You call, you call,
call the cat.
430
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,210
- No, wait--no, wait, I'm gonna
call Salad 2 over here
431
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,821
so this beast can eat that cat?
- Yeah.
432
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,126
The cat'll distract it.
We'll be free!
433
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,998
- Oh, fine.
Here, Salad 2.
434
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:45,999
- Hey, come here.
- Here, Salad 2, come here.
435
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,391
Come here, kitty.
- [meowing]
436
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:48,784
- There it goes, okay.
- Come here, kitty.
437
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,177
Come here, kitty.
- There it goes.
438
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,395
- Come here, come here,
come here.
439
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:52,657
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Here, kitty.
440
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:53,615
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty--
- [hissing]
441
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:54,659
- Here, kitty--
- [snarls]
442
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:56,618
- No!
No!
443
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,403
- [scoffs]
444
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:01,492
It's so frustrating,
445
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:03,625
because the latest issue
of "Chiseled A.F."
446
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:06,454
has this 30-day diet plan
that I've been following,
447
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,978
and I amchiseled,
but...
448
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,414
I'm not chiseled A.F.
449
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,721
- The "A.F." is
always the hardest part.
450
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:14,854
- Do you burn a lot
of calories stripping?
451
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,420
- Yeah, oh, yeah, tons.
452
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:17,900
- That's hella sweet.
453
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:20,076
You think you could maybe
get me a job stripping?
454
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,730
- First of all,
it's not "stripping."
455
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,036
We actually call it
exotic dancing.
456
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,428
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, no, no.
457
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:26,387
No big deal.
Um...
458
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,650
And, uh...
459
00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:31,392
I hate to say this,
but...
460
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:32,915
You're kind of too small.
461
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,917
Now, don't take this
the wrong way.
462
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,137
Honestly, there's
just a certain height
463
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:40,618
and weight requirement for
optimal performance, and...
464
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,272
You just don't
meet those requirements.
465
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:46,929
Hey, man...
- How dare you, dude?
466
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:49,540
How dare you?
467
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,847
Don't--Shuck, don't!
468
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,414
Shuck, wait!
Don't--
469
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:54,937
- What's going on, Lucy?
470
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,678
- Fire started here.
471
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:59,072
There's traces of butane
around here on the floor,
472
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:00,421
and then, over there,
473
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,553
there's plastic
with traces of silicon.
474
00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:03,946
- Huh.
- Silicone is highly flammable,
475
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,035
and the lube is what acted
as the accelerant.
476
00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:07,863
- Oh!
Well done, probie.
477
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,865
[laughs]
478
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,345
Firefighter McConky,
479
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:13,956
as a prize for
solving the arson case,
480
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,916
I'd like to present to you
Godzildo!
481
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,048
- [laughs]
- [mimics drumming]
482
00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:20,484
- Wow, thank you.
483
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:22,095
Um, I shall name him Bob.
- Why?
484
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:23,487
- As in "Battery Operated
Boyfriend."
485
00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:25,272
- Oh!
[laughter]
486
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:26,490
- Oh...
487
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:29,102
I see how it is.
488
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,973
That was our dildo.
489
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,496
- Wait, Liz, it isn't
what you think.
490
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,759
- I hate both of you.
491
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:37,371
- Liz!
Lisandra!
492
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:38,720
Lisandra!
493
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,506
- [sighs]
494
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,769
[gentle steel drum music]
495
00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:48,382
♪
496
00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:50,471
- [sniffs]
- Hey.
497
00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:52,342
- Go away.
498
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:53,691
- You can still play the steel
drums with a bum knee.
499
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:54,954
- Oh, really?
500
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,129
Well, you should
try it sometime,
501
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:58,348
because I have,
and it doesn't work!
502
00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:00,350
So why don't you just go
destroy someone else's knee
503
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:01,482
and leave me alone?
504
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:03,049
- That's it!
505
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,834
- You--hey--you better stop it!
Ow!
506
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:07,053
I'm not going anywhere.
- Yes, you are.
507
00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:08,750
- I am not go--
stop it--
508
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,926
it's--I'm not--
not!
509
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,885
You're not--
[grunting]
510
00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:16,149
I told you I can't!
- You can.
511
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:17,933
Because...
512
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,588
I'm gonna play with you.
513
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:22,590
[strumming gently]
514
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,113
- You play?
- I do.
515
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:26,594
- Your uke would match
my steel drums perfectly.
516
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,161
- Let's find out.
517
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,946
♪
518
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,297
- [humming faintly]
519
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:41,217
♪
520
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:48,224
[steel drum humming]
521
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:54,230
♪
522
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:58,017
- Hey, Liz, can you
help me out in here?
523
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,454
Hey, Andy, can I get your help?
524
00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:01,585
Let's move this shelf.
525
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,631
- Okay.
526
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:05,241
- One, two...
527
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,982
- What the--Lucy!
528
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,157
- Hey!
- Lucy!
529
00:17:08,201 --> 00:17:09,811
- What are you doing?
- Hey, Lucy!
530
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,247
- You two need
to figure this out.
531
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,814
both: What?
- Figure what out?
532
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:13,989
- What are you talki--
533
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,817
Do you have the keys to these?
534
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:16,992
- To the sex handcuffs?
535
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,430
- Too small, huh?
How 'bout this?
536
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:23,868
Bet you feel like an idiot now,
seeing these moves!
537
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,393
Call this one
"the penal code," yeah!
538
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:28,830
Still think I'm not
exotic dancer material?
539
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,527
Whoo!
Whoo!
540
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:33,487
♪
541
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,402
I call this one
"the downward crank."
542
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,838
Yep!
543
00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:39,623
♪
544
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,234
Bam, bam.
545
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,800
- All right, all right,
all right.
546
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,628
That's actually pretty good.
547
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,456
Let me just break it down
for you.
548
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,805
What's up--the ladies are
all around here, right?
549
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,677
Look at that.
What's up?
550
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,679
- Am I doing it?
- Easy, easy.
551
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:52,810
Too quick, too quick,
too quick.
552
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:55,596
One, two.
- [groans]
553
00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:57,076
- Good.
554
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,251
You don't need to
make the noise.
555
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,296
- [groans]
- Don't make the noise.
556
00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:01,689
You're up, right?
557
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,082
- Yeah.
- Great.
558
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:03,778
Let's do a bit
of hip work, okay?
559
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,171
- Yeah.
560
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:06,911
- So in like this
and nice and easy.
561
00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:08,652
Easy, slower, slower.
562
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:10,915
One...
[laughter]
563
00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:13,440
Yeah, laugh it up, kids.
564
00:18:13,483 --> 00:18:14,571
This is what a real man
looks like.
565
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,269
- Okay, pussy.
566
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,619
- What'd you say?
- I called you a pussy, pussy.
567
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,229
[laughter]
568
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:21,491
- Why don't you go
suck your mom's tit?
569
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,841
Ah, I should've said
"suck your mom's dick."
570
00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:25,104
- Yeah,
that would've been good.
571
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,018
Say it again.
- Nah, they're gone.
572
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,760
Anyway, yeah, good, easy dip.
573
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:32,111
[both whimpering]
- Oh, my God.
574
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,112
[high-pitched] Terry...
- [muffled meowing]
575
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:35,462
- I'm starting to see why...
576
00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:37,203
I'm about to pass out.
577
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:39,161
- [grunts]
I got an idea.
578
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,685
Let's roll off the engine
and crush this asshole.
579
00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:43,165
- I don't want to do that.
580
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,471
- What are you talking about?
We can kill it.
581
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:48,301
- If you land on top of me,
you'll kill me.
582
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,781
- If we stay here,
we're guaranteed to die.
583
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:53,741
If we roll off, we got
a 50% chance of living.
584
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,917
- I always thought
585
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,875
Vicky would be the one
586
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,877
to die underneath you.
587
00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:01,879
- Ready?
- No.
588
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,054
- One...
- No.
589
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,534
- Two...
- No.
590
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:05,535
- Three.
- No.
591
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:06,754
- [groaning]
592
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,495
- [meowing]
593
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,758
- [groaning]
594
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:11,889
- [groaning]
- Hey!
595
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:14,196
Salad 2, good job, buddy.
596
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,719
[groans]
597
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:16,981
[phone rings]
598
00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:18,722
- Who's calling?
Linda Price.
599
00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:21,856
- Ooh.
600
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:24,511
Hey, Linda.
601
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:26,817
Oh, okay.
602
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:28,558
Great, we'll be here.
Okay.
603
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,691
[panting]
604
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:31,953
They caught the arsonist.
605
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:34,085
- Who did?
- I don't know.
606
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,609
- Huh.
- Oh!
607
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,785
- All right.
Let's bring everyone back.
608
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:39,308
- Oh, it stinks.
609
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,354
- ♪ Ooh, baby,
are you sure ♪
610
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,965
♪ Won't you give it away
611
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:51,190
♪
612
00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:56,412
- You're unbelievable!
613
00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:59,676
- ♪ You ain't no fool
for what you can do ♪
614
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,941
♪
615
00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:06,814
- [laughs]
- Yeah!
616
00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:08,424
- That was great.
- [grunts]
617
00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:10,209
Yeah!
Oh, man.
618
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,950
We make a good team, partner.
[phone rings]
619
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,256
Hey, Chief, what's up?
620
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,824
- Hello?
Hey, Linda.
621
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,434
- Oh, really?
Wow.
622
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:20,567
- They caught the perp,
solved the arson.
623
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,482
- We'll be right there.
- I'll get Andy and Salazar.
624
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:25,006
We'll be right there.
- That's great news.
625
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,790
- It is...great news.
626
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,314
- Guess we're done.
627
00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:30,794
- Yeah.
628
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,753
- Hey, guys.
629
00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:34,755
[upbeat music]
630
00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:37,845
Uh, guys?
631
00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:39,281
They solved the arson.
632
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,065
They want us back
at the station.
633
00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:43,198
- Cool.
- Like, now.
634
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,287
- Yeah, like, five minutes?
635
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,289
- [sighs]
636
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:52,468
♪
637
00:20:52,512 --> 00:20:54,383
- Oh, everybody's here.
Ken, take it away.
638
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:57,299
- Okay, so I was
browsing Facebook,
639
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:58,779
searching local groups
for stories,
640
00:20:58,822 --> 00:21:01,651
and I came across this.
641
00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:03,436
- What up, peeps?
We're at the Dildo Dojo,
642
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:04,263
which we'll be
burning down soon.
643
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:05,873
- Oh, my God, dummies.
644
00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:08,441
- But we just had
to show you this.
645
00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:10,269
Somebody please caption this!
[laughter]
646
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:13,446
- Shuck!
- Oh, dude!
647
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:14,708
- They thought it'd only go out
to their friends,
648
00:21:14,751 --> 00:21:17,319
but it went viral,
which led to other videos
649
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:19,103
of them confessing
to the other fires.
650
00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:20,888
State troopers
picked up the kids.
651
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:22,629
Journalism.
652
00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:24,239
- At least Crystal and I
were there to help
653
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,327
flush out those bad boys, huh?
654
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:27,068
- Oh, yeah, all day, baby.
655
00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:29,418
- All day.
- Whoa.
656
00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:31,028
- Wow.
- Is that blood or something?
657
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:33,509
- You wouldn't believe it.
While you guys were out there,
658
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:36,469
Chief and I got attacked
by a humongous snake
659
00:21:36,512 --> 00:21:38,384
and we killed
the everloving shit out of it.
660
00:21:38,427 --> 00:21:40,211
- No way.
- No, you didn't.
661
00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:42,301
Shut up.
- Yeah, we blew it up.
662
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:43,519
- What do you mean,
you killed it?
663
00:21:43,563 --> 00:21:45,129
- Oh, yeah, we did.
We killed it dead.
664
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:47,523
[laughter]
- Holy shit.
665
00:21:47,567 --> 00:21:50,265
- We exploded it--blood
everywhere, chunks of flesh.
666
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,267
- Shit.
- That's so sick.
667
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,921
- We even found the head
in one of your boots.
668
00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:56,924
- [gagging]
Oh, shit.
669
00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:58,621
Wow, that's awesome, dudes.
670
00:21:58,665 --> 00:22:00,231
- If I see a flier
on a lamppost out there
671
00:22:00,275 --> 00:22:01,276
for a missing snake,
672
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,756
I will call that number
673
00:22:02,799 --> 00:22:05,106
and I will chew out
that guy's asshole.
674
00:22:05,149 --> 00:22:07,282
- "Chew"?
- I wonder where it is now.
675
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,545
It's probably up in heaven.
Who knows, guys?
676
00:22:09,589 --> 00:22:11,373
Stupid piece of shit.
677
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:13,332
- Even though those kids
outed themselves,
678
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:15,334
I know the work you
all did today will be useful,
679
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:16,857
so you'll still need
to file your report.
680
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,337
- [sobs]
- Hey...
681
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:19,686
I've got your report
right here.
682
00:22:19,729 --> 00:22:23,385
- Granny...we've got
the report right here.
683
00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:25,561
- We've got the report.
- We.
684
00:22:25,605 --> 00:22:28,172
- All right, guys,
thank you very much.
685
00:22:28,216 --> 00:22:30,610
Back to work, everybody.
686
00:22:30,653 --> 00:22:32,133
["Don't You [Forget About Me]"
playing]
687
00:22:32,176 --> 00:22:35,658
- ♪ Mm oooh
688
00:22:35,702 --> 00:22:38,357
- Dear Ms. Price,
we thought it was crazy
689
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,403
to have our two departments
pair up to work on this case.
690
00:22:41,447 --> 00:22:43,753
You saw us how
everybody sees us, as...
691
00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:45,755
- Cops.
692
00:22:45,799 --> 00:22:48,105
- Firefighters.
693
00:22:48,149 --> 00:22:50,673
- Aspiring exotic dancers.
694
00:22:50,717 --> 00:22:54,808
- Dildo afficionados.
- Musicians.
695
00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:57,724
But despite how you see us,
what we found...
696
00:22:57,767 --> 00:22:59,813
- Is that we're more than
all those things.
697
00:22:59,856 --> 00:23:01,292
We're a team.
698
00:23:01,336 --> 00:23:02,903
- Sincerely...
699
00:23:02,946 --> 00:23:06,428
The TFD/TPD Task Force.
700
00:23:06,472 --> 00:23:09,039
- ♪ That we were working on
701
00:23:09,083 --> 00:23:11,215
- Who wrote this stupid shit?
702
00:23:11,259 --> 00:23:13,783
- ♪ May pull us apart
703
00:23:13,827 --> 00:23:18,135
♪ When the light gets
into your heart, baby ♪
704
00:23:18,179 --> 00:23:20,399
♪ Don't you
705
00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:23,402
♪ Forget about me
706
00:23:27,623 --> 00:23:30,539
[bright music]
707
00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:32,193
♪
708
00:23:32,236 --> 00:23:34,195
- Unf.
- [snickers]
709
00:23:34,238 --> 00:23:36,589
♪
710
00:23:36,632 --> 00:23:38,721
- [laughs]
- [giggles]
711
00:23:38,765 --> 00:23:43,160
♪
712
00:23:43,204 --> 00:23:45,772
- Pitch it in, Granny.
713
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,079
He doesn't wanna swing.
He can't run.
714
00:23:49,123 --> 00:23:51,038
- Shut your piehole, Penisi.
715
00:23:51,081 --> 00:23:53,562
I spent my whole 401k
on stem cell therapy,
716
00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:54,781
so eat it.
- Wow.
717
00:23:54,824 --> 00:23:56,783
Trying to grow a dick?
718
00:23:56,826 --> 00:23:59,786
- Polonski sucks.
- Come on, Granny!
719
00:23:59,829 --> 00:24:01,396
- Oh!
[laughing]
720
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:02,963
Okay.
721
00:24:03,006 --> 00:24:05,269
You trying to brush me back?
- Why you crowding the plate?
722
00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:08,098
- Okay, do it again.
See what happens.
723
00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:10,187
- What, you wanna
see a brush back pitch?
724
00:24:10,231 --> 00:24:12,320
Here we go.
725
00:24:12,363 --> 00:24:14,322
- [screaming]
- Oh, ho, ho, ho!
726
00:24:14,365 --> 00:24:17,238
- [screaming]
- Pinche cabron!
727
00:24:17,281 --> 00:24:19,501
[indistinct shouting]
728
00:24:19,545 --> 00:24:22,548
♪
729
00:24:22,591 --> 00:24:24,898
- Oh, oh!
- [grunts]
730
00:24:24,941 --> 00:24:26,552
- [shrieks]
731
00:24:26,595 --> 00:24:28,684
- We doing this?
Ooh.
732
00:24:28,728 --> 00:24:31,121
- Hey, Polonski!
733
00:24:31,165 --> 00:24:32,601
[all shouting]
50238
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