All language subtitles for Scare.Me.2020.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

- They'll see you now.

- And then, the witch crushed the poor

son of a bitch's eyes in her hands,

and the gross eye juice started

oozing out from between her fingers.

Then, she slowly opened her sticky hands.

Like she was holding a wad of taffy.

Well not taffy, more like runny eggs,

or like runny eggs mixed with taffy.

- Okay we get it we get it.
- And then she--

- Violent man you got there, Liz.

- He's just showing off for you guys.

You should see him when I get him alone.

Total teddy bear.

- Just when I had that air
of mystique going for me.

- It's okay, heard it before.

- You looked pretty scared to me.

- Me?

No, I was just playing along.

I mean, witches are nothing new, right?

- I wasn't gonna say it,

but that story you were telling
on the car ride out here,

I saw it online before.

- Oh yeah?

How do you know I'm not
the one who wrote it?

- Whatever.

Speaking of unoriginal,

aren't you up next?

- Sam is.

Hey man, listen, I'm not
gonna shit on your story.

I'm just saying you need
to amp it up for tomorrow.

Either way, it's whatever,
you know, not bad.

- You're being too hard on him, Tim.

I thought it was scary.

- One up, one down.

Sam.

- Actually, I've gotta go pee.

- Okay, but you're up next.

I'm nowhere near ready yet.

- Wait, why didn't you go while we were

discussing Brandon's inferior story?

- You better have something

seriously scary up your sleeve, dude.

- You guys can wait a few minutes.

Plus, I'm sure this
measurement conversation

isn't over yet, anyway.

I'll be right back.

- That's fine, you know.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just have to

show 'em how it's done.

- Hey, I said wait a sec.

- Don't worry, I'll
just tell 'em something

you already know.

Just a little teaser.

- Guys, there's someone out here.

- There's a lot of people out here, Sam.

It's a camp ground.

You probably just scared each other.

- You okay, Samantha?

You look whiter than me.

- You'll be fine, Sam.

Just take a seat.

- I can go with my story now

if you want me to go first.

It's good timing since you
look pretty scared already.

- She's certainly a lot easier
to scare than this asshole.

- I saw it online before.

- Oh my god, oh my god, no, no.

- From a sitting Senator, nonetheless.

Just one racist dog whistle after another.

- Is she on all day?

- I mean, come on, folks.

We know who compromises most of Senator--

- Turn that off, we gotta get going.

- Come on, this is the last chance

I'll get for a while. The
news is crazy right now.

- We're gonna be late.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Did you print out their info yet?

- I tried to, but the fucking printer

is out of ink as usual.

You know, it's only when you're in a rush

that damn thing don't want to work.

- That's why I asked
you to do it yesterday.

- We had the phone.

- Which will be dead when we need it.

- Hey.

- There's always tomorrow.

- Optimism, please.

- In other
news, the psychedelic--

- You know, it's always the
time you don't want to go

we have the most fun.

- Then this will be perfect.

- Oh, that's the spirit.

Now go grab some bags.

- It was the fifth biggest
mass murder of the year,

so you can imagine the horror.

But if you can't, we'll be back

with some footage from the attack

after these messages.

Viewer discretion is advised.

- In light of some breaking news,

we here at the "Powers Report"

advise all our viewers to
stay away from PTC this year.

We have gotten wind of numerous

terror and bomb threats
from the police department,

and it's all over social media as well.

There will also be a major
protest outside the doors

by various religious groups,

trying to shine a spotlight
onto what they are calling

acts of the devil going
on inside that arena.

It will likely get explosive, folks,

one way or another.

So if you were planning on going,

but it feels a little overwhelming,

then please just stay in this weekend.

And remember, there's always tomorrow.

- I can't believe they
expect us to swallow that.

- I got something you can swallow.

- The news.

They're trying to scare people away

from going to the festival.

- Come on, I thought you
wanted to take this trip

so you could get away from the fucking TV.

- Agreed.

Though, I don't really watch TV.

It hurts my brain.

- It's like the more news we have,

the less fact checking there actually is.

- I think it's a big diabolical plan

to help spread negative
energy to the world.

- Definitely doing that,

whether they know it or not.

Where the fuck is the waiter?

- He's around.

He looks super busy.

- He's got like three tables.

- Anyway, I just think
people need to tune out.

I think reality's a lot brighter

than they want us to believe.

- Yeah, I think peoples
priorities are backwards.

I mean, people expect more realism

in movies than in media.

You know, we have one phony
gun shot or blood spurt

and people are all up in arms.

But we have so many news stories

with no evidence or witnesses.

- That's why I don't trust any of it.

I mean, life's just a video game anyway.

Why worry?

- Because you don't get any extra lives.

- Says you.

- Box.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Oh I'm not done with that.

- I'm sorry, sir, I
thought you were finished.

- Oh you did?

Well maybe you shouldn't
think too much, Bobby.

You might hurt yourself.

- I apologize, I'm really sorry.

- Actually, what were you
thinking the last 20 minutes

when I couldn't get a fucking refill, huh?

- I was busy.

- Bob.

Just kidding.

Just don't get between a man
and his food, am I right?

- You're right.

I'm sorry, I apologize.

Well I'm gonna hit the hay.

Let you ladies talk
about me behind my back.

It's easier that way, right?

- He's gonna win the competition.

- Sorry about that.

Donnie just has a short fuse.

He'll be fine once he gets back.

It's just the way he is.

- It feels like this album

is just the same thing over and over.

- It's not repetitive,
man, it's a journey.

You just gotta let it
take you, don't fight it.

Oh, that was not on purpose.

- That was.

- Oh, hey you good man?

I'm gonna go grab another slice.

- Yeah we're just about ready to take off.

Hey, tell 'em to close the tab for me.

- You got it.

And nevermind.

- You ladies get that tire put on yet,

or do you need a man to do it?

- Hey.
- What?

- You ready for later?

- Are you kidding?

You're fucked.
- Donnie!

- What, he knows he's fucked.

Just kidding bro.

- I'll let you guys go in first.

- Me too, you're the experts.

- Maybe we could just draw straws?

- Hey, ya'll making it sound like torture.

- You got the door, come on.

Okay.

Who wants a sandwich?

I hope we didn't forget the mayo.

That's a bummer.

- Howdy folks.

Can I help you find anything?

- Hey, how you doing?

Oh.

- Sorry, roadkill.

- Okay.

My kids and I, we just got here.

Gonna get camp set up,
looking for the lake for now.

Gonna do some hiking,
maybe a little picnic, huh?

- Of course, plenty of fishing there.

How about you, ever go fishing?

Don't be scared.

But look out for the trolls.

This is a haunted place, after all.

- Sir, please, she's just a kid.

And she scares easily.

- Don't be scared.

They like s'mores.

Set a couple out at night
when you go to sleep,

they'll leave you alone.

Just having a little fun.

The lake's down that way.

Make a left in the fork down the road.

You'll see it, there's a sign.

- Okay, cool.

Well, thank you.
- You got it.

Just doing my job.

Oh, by the way, I was just kidding.

Don't leave food out.

The bears will get ya.

- What?

- There are people around.

- So?
- Plus, you stink.

- What?

What do you think, Sandy?

- I have a sensitive nose.

- I'll keep that in mind.

You girls really smell me over pizza?

I just smell pizza.

- You just can't smell yourself.

- I'd rather smell you.

- Not now.

- Great.

Barry, where the fuck is this campsite?

I gotta piss.

- Huh, no sign of Tim or the others.

- I know, I can't reach 'em either.

- Ooh, it's beautiful up here.

- Are you sure this is the right place?

I mean, shouldn't their
tents be here or something?

- I mean, I thought so.

- Well, let's set up
camp before it gets dark.

Hopefully they'll be here soon.

- Yeah, hopefully you're all ready.

- Oh for the contest?

Oh heck yeah man.

I found a couple really
good stories online.

- No, it doesn't count
if you copy it, man.

- Alright alright alright.

You know, Barry, you
don't really strike me

as the campfire storytelling
kind of guy, you know?

- Oh shit.

- Dude, you know I've been
trying to do right by you guys.

Putting all this together,
getting everyone pumped,

and driving all day,

and you have to go and say
some racist shit like that?

I thought you were
different than that, Roger.

You need to check your privilege.

- Dude, fuck, I'm sorry man.

I didn't mean it like that.

- I'm just messing with you, dude.

Quit being so fucking PC about it.

- You're terrible.

Just put 'em on the
ground.

- I told you, we should've got coffee.

- You know I don't drink that stuff.

- Are they fucking?

- That, or they're really
into pitching tents.

Yo Rog, old buddy, old pal.

Let's go fetch some wood.

- God damn it, did they move the cones?

Yep, there they are.

Fucking city kids.

Hey.

What do you two think you're doing?

- Making a fire at a campsite.

- Yeah, it seemed reasonable at the time.

- Funny girls.

I assume you two have a reservation.

- Yeah, my boyfriend Barry,
he arranged everything.

He should be back soon.

- Oh, well that must have
been real tough for him,

considering we don't
open 'til next weekend.

- I don't understand--
- Hey.

You can't stay here, alright?

The site's closed.

Now there's another site a
couple miles south of here,

it's open year-round,
first come first served.

- Well that's what we
thought about this site.

- I don't understand.

Did you guys change the policy?

- I don't have to explain myself to you.

Now why don't you all go
and pack this stuff up

and mosey on down the road?

- Ahoy there.

- Hey Coop.

We got a couple of freeloaders over here.

- Freeloaders?

- Freeloaders?

- Yeah, the site ain't
open, and it isn't free.

- My brother was the
one that set it all up.

We should be good.

- Oh, how convenient.

Always someone else's responsibility, huh?

- What?
- Okay, everyone.

Let's just calm down.

- Hi, Ranger...

- Sean.

- Roger.

- Well Roger, everyone, I'd
like to welcome you guys

to the Evergreen Campgrounds.

And since it's about the end of my shift,

how about I give you
guys hand with that fire?

- This site's not supposed to be open.

- They're almost setup.

Just let it slide this time.

- Coop, can I talk to you?

- The other guy seems cool.

Let's just go ahead and set up.

- Do what you want.
- Yeah.

- That way, this way.

- I'll follow wherever you want to go.

- Hey.

I just took some stuff that's gonna be

kicking in in about 30 minutes.

Do you care to join me?

- Thanks for the offer,
but I don't think so.

- Right on.

Okay.

- Oh!

Let me help you.

- Thank you.
- Here.

Are you sure it hasn't kicked in yet?

- Oh, no, I'm at peak physical
performance right now.

Hey, do you listen to synth wave?

- Ah, no I don't, but it sounds cool.

- It is, it's like my favorite genre.

- Well hey, good luck with your tent.

I'm gonna go catch the sunset.

Perfect time for meditation.

- Sounds awesome.

Damn it.

Whoa.

- There we go.

Hey, don't mind Seany.

He takes his job a little too seriously.

I got that fire going.

You need a hand with that tent?

- I'd really appreciate it.

- Yeah, it comes together really quick

when you know what you're doing.

So let me get in there a little bit.

Whoa whoa.

Let's not hurt ourselves, alright?

- Sorry about that.

- Hey, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you go join your friends?

I'll handle this.

- Oh man, that'd be great.

- I mean, it's the least I
can do with them, you know?

- Thanks man.

- Go have a good time.

- Where are you going?

- To hang out with the
people we came with.

- It's more like share a ride.

- You're such a dick, Donnie.

It's called making friends.

- Yeah, well I'll leave
that shit up to you.

- You know how much I'm looking
forward to this contest.

- Oh, that stupid
contest, give me a break.

- Be an asshole, then.

- Are you gonna shut that, or?

Love you.

- About the noises, probably.

- So how often do you
guys really have sex?

Do you do it every night?

- I'm just saying.

- Who's the cop?

- Oh, Coop?

He's cool, man.

He chased off this douche bag Ranger,

and now he's helping us put up our tents.

- My ears are burning.

- Speak of the devil.

- Well, I hope you guys
can take it from here.

- Oh, stay, have a beer with us.

- Oh come on, Coop, have one beer.

- You're off duty, right?

We're about to tell some scary stories.

My brother and his friends
should be here soon too,

but he's late as usual.

So the more the merrier.

- The more the scarier.

- It's a competition.

- Well, what do you get?

- To live.

- There is a prize,

but it really only applies to us anyways,

because it's for the festival.

- A ghost story competition, huh?

Isn't winning its own reward?

- I see that glimmer
in your eye, old timer.

But I don't think you stand a chance now.

- Trash talker, huh?

You can dish it,

but can you take it?

- Yes, we can.

- Oh man.
- What the fuck?

- What?

It's the ritual, man.

I can't control the wind.

- Do it again, you're going in there next.

- So who goes first?

- Volunteers?

Ladies?

- I'll go.

Might as well set the bar high, right?

- Baby, can I go?

I'm just a little nervous.

Kinda just want to get it over with.

- There's no need for nerves.

We're all friends here.

At least for now.

- Nerves.

Nerves are what it's all about, right?

Let's hear the girl's story first.

- Touche, Ranger.

- Go on, ladies first.

- Okay.

So it starts on a cool humid night,

on the outskirts of a desert town.

- They always do.

As soon as they make a story,

they write on to the next one

with the whole truth around.

I have to wonder what kind
of rest they must feel

when they're ordered
to sell out like this.

- If they can be friendly,

then they shouldn't be in the media.

They are supposed to be our
fourth branch of government.

Another check and balance.

Look what happened to JFK.

Even Presidents aren't above it.

They're messing with us

at every possible level
of freedom and morality.

They usher in these monstrosities

with open arms and broad smiles,

that can only be used
for benevolent purposes.

And just as soon as we accept our slavery,

we will find ourselves in
the belly of the beast.

- And just like clockwork,

they'll raise a symbolic
gesture to silence everyone.

Then the oblivious ignorant masses

won't even bother to raise their heads

from their supposed smart phones.

- So called watchdogs in the media

will just move on to
their next distraction.

I think I lost the feed.

I can't see you anymore.

- I can see you on my screen.

Let's just keep going.

Hopefully it'll catch back up.

See folks, nothing is hidden here.

This is a live conversation
on a live program.

We hide nothing from our
fellow real watchdogs.

We are all in this together.

But back to what you were saying, Jacob.

Yes, their eyes and ears are
at all levels of the hierarchy.

If anyone tries to shine
some light into the shadow,

they get silenced.

The writing is on the
walls, people, literally.

And they expect us to sit back

while people stomp on everything

this country was founded on.

- It would be funny if
it weren't so depressing.

We used to fear RFID chips,

but now almost everyone
happily carries them around,

tracking everything we
do, everywhere we go.

I avoid those baby
monoliths like the plague.

- So Jacob, now we have
this new development

out in Oregon where yet
another gun-free zone

was mysteriously shot up.

When are people gonna realize

that these safety zones
are just open invitations?

It's like the intro in
your recent best seller,

"False Flags, True Terror."

- Well, thanks for the plug.

I do think we could be looking at

another false flag operation here.

Anything to get our guns, right?

They've sunk their claws deep into

the Bill of Rights over the last decade.

Then, the slippery slope begins.

Soon, everyone will be
labeled as psychopath,

unfit to own guns,

and then only the elites will be armed.

- Hey Jacob, can you take
over a couple minutes?

I'll be right back.

- Well, as I was saying, Jess,

none of these proposed gun laws

were to prevent any of the instances,

assuming they're legitimate,
which of course they're not.

- Who is it?

- My name's John, ma'am.

I'm in a lot of trouble out here.

I need some help.

- You came to the wrong place, I'm sorry.

- No, please please, don't go.

I've been shot.

- What?

Who shot you?

Is it bad?

Is there somebody else out there?

Can you make it to the street?

- No, no, there's no time.

- John?

John.

You got shot in the arm?

- Yeah.

- You lost a lot of blood.

Okay, the bed's upstairs.

Can you make it up there?

Can you make it up there?

- Yeah.

- I'm sick of it,

and every other American should be.

Enough is enough.

Bared things are bared,
and so should ours be.

- Hang on.

Who did this to you, John?

- Can you just call an ambulance?

- It's not as easy as that.

- Why not?

- Do you remember where you are?

- Yeah, I know there's no
cell phone service here,

but you've got to have a landline

or sat phone or something here.

- I don't.

I can feel the bullet.

I'm surprised it didn't go through.

I can dress this myself.

Hold on a minute.

- Well maybe your friend
downstairs on the monitor,

he might have a phone
or something to call.

He can call for help.

- That's not gonna happen.

Look, I'm a trained
EMT among other things.

I can fix you myself.

I've dealt with much worse.

Oh yeah, this doesn't look bad at all.

- No no no no.

Don't pull it out.

- Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

Do you know who did this to you, John?

- No, of course I don't.

But I know that they're still out there,

and that you could get
that guy to call for help.

- What exactly were you doing?

- Could you just call an ambulance?

I think I'm about to pass out.

- You'll be fine.

- Call someone.

- It's not gonna happen, John.

Now this is gonna hurt,
but I'll make it quick.

- Whoever shot me is still out there.

- And it's gonna stay that way.

I think you got lucky.

Now hold pressure here,
I'll be right back.

- No crime scene whatsoever.

But we're supposed to believe

this is just another delinquent kid

who found an assault rifle.

It couldn't be more obvious,

even to a casual observer.

They're testing our
suspension of disbelief,

for whatever they have plans next.

- Thank you Jacob, I owe you one.

I couldn't agree more.

There are so many of these
clandestine operations going on,

it's hard to keep track of them all.

- The scariest thing is how many people

are involved in--

I'm sure there are plenty of paid actors,

as there usually are.

But it's still gotta be a lot

of frightened regular folks, too.

- Well they compartmentalize the truth.

It's the easiest trick
to keep people in line.

It's all hidden in plain sight.

Big enough a lie, frequently enough,

people will begin to believe it.

- Hitler was right about
something, I guess.

- Thank you to Mr. Jacob Townsend.

Everyone, go out and buy his book,

"False Flags, True Terror."

- And the pleasure is mine.

Have a good night.

- You too, my friend.

And to all of my fellow
watchdogs out there,

a very special thank you.

Stay vigilant, stay
aware, and stay skeptical.

John?

John?

John?

John, are you okay?

John.

John, are you okay?

- John.

- That's it.

- Bad ass.

- That was actually scary, Kelly.

- That was great, babe.

That's my girl.

- Not too shabby.

There may be some
competition here after all.

- Coop, you there?

- Copy that.

Give me a second, Rach.

- Wait, so who shot him?

- I think he shot himself, right?

- You all set up there, Rach?

- All set, Coop.

Just got to site A.

- Copy that, did you meet with Sean yet?

- That's a negative, Coop.

- Alright well make sure
you check in with him.

He's in a bit of a rampage today.

I'm punched out, but
I'm gonna stick around

with some of the new campers for a while.

- Sounds good, Coop, have fun.

- Will do, over and out.

- The bigger question is whether or not

the government sent him.
- Right?

- So, who shot him?
- Guys.

We can get into all that after I win.

- Feeling pretty
confident over there, huh?

- Who's next?

- Ready?

- I can go.

Change things up a little bit.

I mean, it starts with that newscaster

that Barry thinks is so hot.

He claims he likes her reporting.

- Hey, come on now.

She's on all the time.

It's not like you have much choice.

- You're not talking about
Heather Powers, are you?

She's just cleavage
spewing talking points.

- Oh, here we go.

- With the mind-controlling
TV flicker rates,

you can't trust it.

- Do you believe in the
Mandela Effect, too?

- It just can't be a coincidence.

- Anyway, Heather Powers
is reading off her

oh-so-mighty teleprompter,

and she's showing the footage
of yet another black guy

being murdered by the police.

- Oh please.

- No more interruptions.

- That was scary.

- Tell me about it.

- For the third time,

the beautiful and brilliant Heather Powers

is reporting on the
latest police incident,

and she's showing a
witness's cell phone video

of the cops pulling up to a couple

who are pretty heated.

- As we can see the cell phone
video taken by a bystander.

The police officer opened fire

on the unarmed African-American man

with little to no provocation.

He then turned and fired on
his unarmed girlfriend as well,

murdering them both.

Why do they never have guns?

Shoot first, ask never, it seems.

We only have little info
on this case so far,

aside from the eye witness
footage and testimony,

but we have made calls
to the police department

for an explanation and are
still waiting for a response.

We can only speculate why it's taking them

so long in this case.

We've gotten reports that protestors

are beginning to gather

near the crime scene, demanding answers.

And justifiably so.

While we wait, let's see that
cell phone footage again.

- You've got some serious

fucking explaining to do.

- I know, Sarge.

It won't be easy.

- Not easy?

Not fucking easy?

We've got a riot on our hands.

Over some jerk-off video
that was posted to YouTube

before I even got wind of the situation.

And I'm not even sure
if it fucking happened.

- It happened, Sarge.

- Then where are the fucking bodies?

Or the other suspects?

All I got is a dead cop,

and the media doesn't
give a shit about him.

That video they keep
replaying on the fucking news

shows a black guy and his white bitch

being fucking executed.

So where in the fuck are they?

- It'll take some time, Sarge.

- You know what?

Just start at the fucking beginning.

- Is that the footage?

- You mean the footage that makes

no fucking sense whatsoever?

Yeah, this is it, motherfucker.

- Officer Miller and I
were responding to a 417.

Off of Las Vegas Boulevard and Sarah.

- Get off of me, you hurt
me. You're hurting my wrist.

- One Charlie
three, one Charlie five.

A domestic dispute, 5'8", 5'2", Paradise.

- Copy that, dispatch.

We're on our way.

- One Charlie
three one Charlie five.

Be advised subjects are
possibly intoxicated

and have a firearm.
- You idiot!

- Yes you was.
- No I wasn't!

- Why you keep acting like this?

- I'm acting like this.

You're acting--
- Fucking cops.

- Yeah.
- Look what you did.

- Yeah, I called them
because you are crazy.

Yes, crazy.
- I'm crazy, crazy.

Whatever, you're the one
that would go over there

and flirting with the guy,

and acting like--
- Oh god.

- We got a call about a disturbance.

- Yeah, I called, officer.

I'm fearing for my safety right now.

- Oh, you are unbelievable.

- He's just gonna say
what you want to hear.

He'd act totally different
if you weren't here.

- She's just playing.

Don't even listen to her.
It's just one of her games.

- One of my games?
- Alright calm down.

- You know what, fuck this.

I ain't fucking with the cops tonight.

We out here minding our own business,

and you guys want to come
over here and fuck with us.

I'm fucking out.

- Where are you going?

What's his name?

- Dante.

- Dante, Dante!

Dante.

Wrong way, my brother.

Turn around, let me see your hands.

- You want to come romp
with me, Babylon boy?

Police is just so predictable.

Let me see how far you could take this.

Move your Bomboclaat then
stop fucking with me.

- You talk too much, Dante.
- Fuck you.

- Whatever you say, Dante.

I just need to see those hands.

- I don't give a fuck about
you, Bomboclaat Babylon boy.

You hear me?

You hear me?

- You're not going anywhere.

- Fuck I am.
- The fuck you are!

He's got a gun!

- No!
- No don't!

What the fuck?
- She tried to attack me!

- No she didn't!

What are you thinking?

- You should have had my back!

- What the hell just happened?

Did he have a gun?

- I don't know, but he will.

Go check.

Pull yourself together,
and call for an ambulance.

- Well?

You're going to just sit
there like a dumb ass?

Tell me the guy had a gun.

- I wish I could, Sarge.

- So what the fuck was it?

- A lighter.

- Jesus Christ.

Why didn't you upload
your body cam footage

when you checked in?

- Sorry Sarge, I forgot.

Here.

- I hope this gives us some wiggle room.

We need to change the media narrative

as quickly as possible.

- With all due respect sir,

the footage on the news is what happened.

Officer Miller fired on two

unarmed people without provocation.

- What happened is one of my
fellow officers was killed,

that some nigga who trying to impress

his white trash whore.

Probably some gang banger.

Probably high on some PCP shit.

- But Sarge, that's not--

- That is what happened.

Unless you have two corpses up your ass,

then that news video is
as real as Hollywood.

- But Sarge--
- Now shut the fuck up

so I can see what's next.

- Oh shit, fucking cops are here.

Look what you did.
- Yeah, I called the cops

'cause you're acting crazy.

- I'm acting crazy?
- Yeah.

You're acting delirious.

Do you hear yourself?

Yeah I called, officer.

I'm fearing for my safety right now.

- Oh, you are unbelievable.

- He's just gonna say what--

- You know what, fuck this.

I ain't fucking with the cops tonight.

We're out here minding our own business,

and you guys just want to
come here and fuck with us.

- Where are you going?

- I'm fucking out of here.

- What's his name?

What's his name?
- Dante.

- Dante.

You should've had my back.

- Oh god, oh god, okay okay, okay.

Fuck, where the fuck did he go?

Dante.

What the fuck just happened?

- What the hell?

What the fuck is that?

Explain what the fuck I
just seen on that screen.

Why the fuck are you
looking at me like that?

Look at the fucking screen.

- Hey look, he's coming around.

- You're a good cop.

But not good enough.

- Mm, makes them taste
much better, at least.

- What the fuck did I just watch?

- You're not a good cop.
- Sit the fuck--

- And you're not in charge anymore.

- And he jumped on the Sergeant like this,

and started feasting off his blood.

- Why do I have to be the victim?

- You're closest.

- Holy shit, that was awesome.

I gotta take a leak.
- Me too.

- Do you guys need fucking diapers?

We can't get through two stories

without someone either
pissing or shitting themself.

- I guess not.

I'm gonna go this way.

- I am gonna go this way.

- I really like the message, Sandy.

Wait for us before we start the next one?

- Leave it to the black guy's girl

to bring up racial tension.

- Ignoring it doesn't
mean it doesn't exist.

- Yeah man, I live with
that shit every day.

It's about time we get some revenge.

Supernaturally, of course.

I loved it, babe.

- I didn't.

- What?

- I didn't like the story.

- Bro, it's just supposed to be for fun.

Why don't you relax?

- Don't get involved.

- No, this guy's being a total dick.

Don't tell me what to do.

- These are supposed to be scary stories.

That's what you guys said.

- Then make up your own.

That's the rules.

- I know the game, and
I already have a story.

I just want a proper buildup is all.

It's not fun without a little tension.

- Are you...

You're fucking with us, man.

- What did we miss?

- Coop trying to creep us out.

I think he's worried.

- Did you guys just see...

- Dude, you're tripping.

Just chill out.

- So how about you go next?

- What happened to ladies first, Alex?

- I'm not ready.

You go.

- Fire away, fearless leader.

- Last chance.

- Alright, I'll go.

Okay, so a group of
friends are sitting around,

smoking a blunt.
- Of course.

- Can you guys be any less obvious?

- Shut up guys.

Alright, so a group of friends
is sitting around smoking,

and they're playing Ouija.

- Do you play Ouija?

- Can I just?

- Sorry.

- Can you?
- I'm trying, okay?

So, these friends are sitting around,

using a Ouija board, and they're smoking.

You know what, I lost my train of thought.

- I got you, hold that story.

It's time somebody started
scaring the shit out of you guys.

- I'm all ears.

- Okay.

So some fucking guy is
walking his fucking dog

down this happy fucking street

in this happy fucking neighborhood

in happy fucking America.

My story is "Eternal Hunger."

Not the kind you're used to Roger.

You stoner son of a bitch.

- Fuck you, Donnie.

- Parker.

- Hey Jules.

- Hey, did you see the news?

- The strangest thing just happened.

- Guess cops blew
away another black guy.

Had no gun, nothing on him.

So, my parents are in town this weekend,

and they want to see Sandy and Kevin.

- But I had plans with
them for this weekend.

- I'll make it up to you.

They only come twice a year.

Come on, Henry.

- No, it's just Cohagen.

He got loose.

- I can't believe
you named him that.

You know, my dad was always nice to you.

Can you just do it please?

- Damn dog.

He's rambunctious, he's
got a lot of energy.

He's a puppy.

Cohagen.

Cohagen, come here, come here.

Cohagen, come here.
- Henry?

- Come here boy.
- Hello?

Henry.

- Cohagen, come here boy.

Cohagen.
- Henry.

Henry, hello?

Henry, hello, Henry?

- You're not gonna
believe what I'm seeing.

- No changing the subject.

I need this, Henry.

I've been having a tough
time with my parents lately.

- How much did you ask for this time?

- What was that?

- You know Randy, my neighbor?

- Yeah.

- Well he's going to town on
some guy in a leather suit.

- What, like bondage stuff?

- Yeah!

And by the looks of it, it ain't no lady.

- Just let him be.

You should be more accepting
of peoples sexuality.

- This has nothing to do with us.

You're not seeing what I'm seeing.

- And neither should you.

- Oh hey.

- So, what about this weekend?

Henry.

Henry, Henry?

- Jules.

this is some pretty messed up stuff.

- Hello.

Earth to Henry.
- Just a second Jules.

- It's always something with you,

and I'm so sick of you shit.

I'm here and all you can
do is change the subject?

Your dog, the neighbor, get over yourself.

- Why do you make me do this to you?

Why do you make me hate you?

I hate you so much.

I hate you so much.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I don't want to hurt you.

I don't know what I'm
supposed to do with you.

What am I supposed to do with you?

What am I supposed to do with you?

- Just forget it.

I can't count on you.

Are you even listening to me?

Hello Henry?

Henry?

- Fuck!

Shit.

- Calm down!

I'm here to help you.

It's okay.

Be glad I'm here.

Hold still.

I'm getting you out of here.

Don't you hear me?

Oh fuck!

Ah.

What the fuck is this?

- And that's how it's done.

- That was good.

- No competition now, huh, B-ry?

- Uh uh, don't count
your chickens yet, bro.

- Alright it's your turn
now, bud, no excuses.

- Jesus, just sit down or something.

- Dude.

- Sorry, natural impulse.

Everybody watch your eyes.

- Too late.

- Yeah, not possible.

- Depends on if you count
your reflection as yourself.

- That was deep.
- And off topic.

Let's get on with it, Rog.

And don't fuck it up this time.

- Oh, should I do the sand thing again?

That was kind of a long--
- No!

- Nobody's doing the sand thing, okay?

- Alright, fair enough.

Alright.

"Demonic Presence."

- I thought it was called "Haunted Blunt."

- Well it was until you ruined it.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No that's okay.

You guys wanted something scarier,

I'm gonna give it to you.

- Oh here we go.

- Fuck you, Donnie.

- I'm scared already, Rog.

- Okay here we go.

The winter night descends
on a quiet neighborhood.

Christmas lights are twinkling
on some of the houses.

A teenage babysitter
slouches on the couch.

The flickering TV on her motionless face,

as if she's in a trance.

And then.

- The pictures and video keep pouring in,

showing these poor
refugees getting bombarded

and overwhelmed by our
forces at the border.

It's really shameful.

They just want a better life, people.

How we can have so many racist politicians

in this country is beyond me.

It's their duty to grant
these migrants asylum.

We're supposed to be the land of the free,

not the land behind the wall.

Not to dilute your previous gene pool.

We need to come together and create

a new, more open society,

one that welcomes every gender,

race, sexual orientation,
religion and culture.

A society we can finally be proud of,

and that's called progress, people.

As always, turn on, tune in,

and remember, there's always tomorrow.

- Hey guys.
- Hey.

- How was the show?

- They were good.

Not quite as good as they used to be.

- From the songs I could
remember, they were fantastic.

Newer stuff, I don't know, not so good.

- Well they're for the younger crowd.

They went crazy for it.

- At least we behaved ourselves this time.

Though I feel old even saying that.

- Oh please, you guys are amazing.

- Is he asleep?
- Like a log.

- I'll go check on him.

You got this?
- Yeah.

- This better not be going

where I think it's going.

- Excuse me?

- Yo Coop, let the man finish.

- Yeah, I'm sorry Rog.

- Alright.

So, the Reids walk into the
kitchen with the babysitter,

and Rob goes upstairs to check on his kid,

while Laura pulls out
her purse to pay Wendy.

- So the little ones down asleep?

- Like a log.
- Good.

I'm gonna go check on 'em.

You got this?
- Yeah.

- I am so glad you moved here, Wendy.

You are like a breath of fresh air

compared to some of the kids we've had.

- Dad.

- Yeah bud, it's late.

Go on back to sleep, okay?

- No wait, come here.

Can you check the room?
- What is it, bud?

- Can you check the room? I can't sleep.

- Alright, let me take a look.

- Hey Rog, you did come up
with this yourself, right?

- Look man, can you let me just...

- Yeah, sorry about that.

It's just, your story as it is now,

is skirting dangerously close

to the most obvious fucking
conclusion possible.

- Cooper, back off him.

- May I continue?

- You know what, I'm
sure you came up with it.

I'm sorry, continue.

- Okay.

So, Jack asks Rob to check
his room for monsters,

and Rob's discouraged
'cause he keeps asking

over and over and over.

- There we go.

Here's Bill.

He was the one causing all
that ruckus down there.

Better?

- Can you check the closet?

There's someone in there.

- Come on, Jack.

It's been almost every night this week.

- No but that was under the bed.

The closet is different.

- Okay.

- There's a monster in my bed.

- What the fuck is this?

- Bro, oh my God.

- Yo dude, I think you're
taking this too seriously.

- I take my time seriously.

And you all are wasting it.

Just when we get a little momentum going,

the tweaked out dumb ass
over there fucks it all up.

- How about you hit the road?

- How about I teach you
guys how to scare somebody?

The demon takes the form of the kid

and he's standing on the
edge of the bed, right?

So he stretches out his finger,

and like an invisible box-cutter,

he slices the father's
fucking throat open.

The kid, Jack was it?

He's scared speechless as he
watches his father bleed out.

The demon makes a hand movement,

closing the door between
the father and the son.

Rob falls to his knees,
running low on energy.

So he starts to crawl,
crawl to save his wife.

- Rob?

What's that noise?

Is everything alright up there?

- But unbeknownst
to everyone else,

the babysitter is the one who's really

pulling the strings.
- Rob!

- And she's about to take a bite

out of the lovely Miss Laura Reid.

So right when he gets to
the foot of the steps,

and the wife looks up to
him and screams his name.

- Rob!

- She rips her fucking heart out.

- Okay.

Are you done?

- Yeah I'm fucking done.

- I was gonna go there with
the babysitter, you know.

- Shut the fuck up, Roger.

- Hey!

- Look.

I'm not trying to be
too much of an ass here.

I was just trying to darken the mood.

But I can go.

- Stay.

Just tell your story.

- I don't stay where I'm unwanted.

- No, it's cool, man.

I mean, you can't leave
after all that buildup.

- Well alright then.

That's the spirit, Rog.

My story is called "Millennial Massacre."

It's about a group of campers
very much like yourselves.

They had been drinking,

carrying on, throwing
dirt in the fucking fire.

Telling scary stories.

But everything is fun and games

until one of them has
to go to the bathroom.

Things aren't quite the
same when she gets back

as she remembered it.

And what do you think she saw?

- Oh shit!

Did anyone else see that?

- What are you talking about?

- I saw something,

like a shadow behind you.

I saw it before.

- People cast shadows, Roger.

Let's just do this fucking thing.

- I didn't see anything.

That doesn't mean there
wasn't anything there.

Maybe we should take a break and go look.

We could look for Tim, too.

- You guys want me gone.

But you can't seem to
stop interrupting me.

Which is it?

Alright, we can go look for
the boogeyman after I win.

So as I was saying--
- Guys,

there's someone out here.
- They were about

to string up the white
jock by his entrails,

but they got a little to rambunctious

and ended up ripping him to shreds.

The only sane friend left
just stood there, watching.

But then, a new foot came
crashing down in front of them.

It was the friendly park Ranger.

Carrying an even friendlier
aluminum baseball bat.

It was worn from years of use.

A slight bend in it.

It had little notches in it

to denote all his victims over the years.

Are you done?

But the funny thing was is that,

he didn't even need it.

She was so scared that

she just did everything that,

she did everything that the Ranger said.

- Okay, I'm scared, and done.

- Don't be silly, Alex.

That was dumb.

You told your story, now get the fuck out.

- Play nice.
- No.

- He's scary.

- I'm not gonna cater to this asshole.

You told your story, now get the fuck out.

- I never said I was done.

- Barry!
- Okay okay okay.

Let's just chill.

Relax, take a break for a little bit.

- Hold on, I'll be right back.

- Weak bladder, huh?

- Relax, man.

It's a good story.

- You don't have to be a jerk anymore.

- Again, I never said I was done.

- You're done!

Now we're gonna go look
for Barry's brother.

Stop it!

Who the fuck's side are you on anyway?

- Clearly not yours.

- Your radio's off.

- What's wrong?

- We found an abandoned car
on the side of the road.

I think if we come down here
and check on these guys.

- An abandoned car?

- It could be Tim's.

- What kind of car was it?

- Gray Ford SUV.

- That's Tim's.

- Oh my god, did you find any blood?

- Shut up!

Why would you ask that?

- You gonna go check it out?

- Yeah, of course.

- Where are you going?

- What's it to you?

- Don't want to leave you alone.

- Is everything alright here Coop?

- Everything's fine.

Donnie here just has
trust issues, that's all.

- You want a ride to the car
with Sean? I can stay here.

- You coming, tough guy?

- You're god damn right I am.

- You got a light?

- You're just gonna leave me here?

- We'll have words later.

- It's about half a mile down the road.

- It's not in the road.

- Jesus, let's go!

- Did you find any signs of a struggle?

Was there any blood?

- Sandy, what the fuck?

- What's the deal with Cooper?

- What do you mean?

- He was saying some things
that was a little out of line.

- Oh, are you all college kids?

- What is that supposed to mean?

- The whole PC wave going on now,

you're all too touchy.

- It wasn't like that.

What he said would be rude to anybody.

- He's a dick.

I'm sorry if he's your friend.

But that's the truth.

- I don't want to hear
another word about it.

You babies need some thicker skin.

You're in the middle of the woods.

There is no safe space out here.

- Okay, what is it with you people here?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I forgot how fragile you are, Alex.

- Excuse me?

- Shut up, Kelly.

- How do you know?
- No?

I thought you never said no, Kelly.

- I don't even know what
to say to you right now.

- Don't you know any magic
spells to make me go away?

Of course you don't.

Without your silly mysticism,

you don't even know who you are.

Do you?

Just a child, just boring,
like everyone else.

- You're just a bitch.

- Maybe.

At least I see people for who they are,

and the world for what it is.

I don't blame the fire
for consuming the stick

any more than I blame
Donnie for using you up.

- How do you know our names?

- Why was Donnie so quick
to leave you alone here?

Aw, did you get abandoned again?

- Everything alright?

- I don't stink again, do I?

- Just keeping you on your toes.

- Look look, there it is, there it is.

What the fuck is wrong with the seat?

Where the fuck is the latch?

- Don't go!
- What?

- Fuck.

- So what happened to you
all down at the campsite?

Get scared like a bunch of babies?

- What the fuck did you just say?

- I see blood out there, don't go.

- Are you kidding me?

That's my brother you're talking about.

Besides, it's too dark
to see anything anyway.

- He's dead, I know it.

- Sandy, I don't know
what's gotten into you,

but you need to stop right now!

- They're going to kill you!

- Kill me?

Man, get the fuck out my way.
- Yeah, just like Tim

and the others.
- Sandy.

I seriously do not know
what's gotten into you,

but you need to shut the
fuck up and let me go!

- Don't leave me!

No, you don't love me!

- Let go!

- You think he'd know his
girlfriend better than that.

- What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

And what's up with them?

- I bet you squeal just
like her when you get cut.

Come on!

- Damn it.

I'm so sorry.

Oh god, baby.

Come here, oh.

Fuck!

- You ready to die, boy?

- Kill him, Donnie!

Fucking do it!

- Do you have any idea

what the fuck is going on here?

- Other than a bunch of
psychos running this place?

What the hell, Barry?

- Man I had to.

Sandy was acting all crazy and shit.

Like really fucking crazy, man.

- Fuck.

Alright, take your girl, and go get help.

- But what about you, dog?
- I'm not leaving Kelly.

I'll get the others, too.

- Look, I don't know what the fuck

is going on with the water,

but whatever it is,

we need to get out of
here as fast as possible.

- The water?

- I don't fucking know what's going on!

Whatever's happening to Sandy

happened to these fucking Rangers.

- Fuck, just be quick, okay?

- Where's Cooper?

- Gee, I don't know Barry!

I just spent the last five fucking minutes

fighting off a knife-wielding
fucking maniac!

What the fuck were you doing, Barry?

- I was dealing with Sandy's crazy ass!

Whatever's going around here is fucked up!

- Look, alright.

He didn't take the road.

I can beat him back to the campsite.

I can handle it.

Just go.

- When you get back to camp, take my car.

Good luck bro.

- Psych!

Just kidding.
- Man!

Stop fucking around dude!
- Be quick.

- Yeah, just go.
- Alright, yeah.

- Fuck!

- Roger.

Roger.

Roger.

- Alex?

What happened?

Where's that Ranger lady?

- You're an interesting one, Roger.

- What?

- Never met anyone quite like you.

- Alex, this really
isn't the time for that.

What happened to that Ranger?

Did you see what happened?

- No matter how scared you seem,

we can't quite pin you down.

What do you see when you look at me?

Am I still the girl you like?

Is this still the body that you wanted?

Or the lips that you wanted to kiss?

What?

Don't you want me anymore?

You couldn't keep your
eyes off me all day.

- You're not you.

- Who am I?

Whose body is this?

- Fuck you!

- What is it with you?

- I should ask you the same thing.

- You can find out for yourself.

Just join us.

You won't have to be afraid anymore.

- I'm not afraid.

I see you.

And I'm not joining anything.

- Oh so that's it?

We can't have that.

- Now you do have to die, Roger.

- Hey, Roger!

Where's Kelly?

- I don't know.

- Well what's going on?

Do you feel any different?

- They couldn't turn me,

or do whatever it is they do to people.

They couldn't do it to me,

so they tried to kill me.

- Somebody help!

- Go.
- No, no.

- Look, I'll be fine, just go.

I can take care of myself.

- I didn't know you
could be such a bad ass.

- When the going gets weird,

the weird turn pro.

- I don't know what that means.

- Go!

- Oh shit!

Shit!

What the fuck?

- You killed her!

- No, look, I'm sorry, but
there's some crazy shit going on,

and I gotta go get some help.

- Are you kidding me?

You murdered her.

You just killed my friend.

- I don't have time for this shit!

Look, I know it sounds crazy,

but you gotta come with me.

Liz?
- Barry?

- Holy fuck, is that Sam?

Sam, Sam.
- You killed me, Bar.

You killed me.

You killed me, Bar.

You killed me, Bar.

- Jesus Christ.

What the fuck were you two doing

in the middle of the road?

And where's Tim?

- Tim went to town to get help,

so you can stop running now.

- What do you, why would I...

- Stay here with me.

It's cold out here, Barry.
- Oh.

- Use some company.

- Just when I thought shit
couldn't get any crazier.

- How come we never kiss at parties?

I used to catch you looking
at me, but you were too shy.

I hope you've grown up since then.

- Oh.

But, Sam.

- What's the matter, Bar?

Aren't you gonna fuck her?

- Are you fucking shitting me?

I'm so over this.

Get off me, bitch!

- Kelly!

Kelly!

Kelly!

- I said I'm sorry!

We don't have time for this.

There's some crazy shit going down.

I care.

- It's always about you!

- Look, we don't have time for this.

There is some weird stuff
happening, and people are dead.

I mean, what happened back there?

Why were you crying?

- You've been acting
crazy this whole time.

It's probably you.

Holy shit, did you actually kill somebody?

- It's a long story, but it
was self defense, really.

- Self defense, Donnie?

You're always looking for a fight!

- Well hate me if you want to,

but there is some weird shit happening,

and Roger's been stabbed.

- Stabbed?

All I saw was that Ranger
lady hitting him in the face

and that's when I took off.
- Yeah, well when I walked up,

Alex was trying to stab him to death.

- Alex?

- That's what I'm saying!

Shit is crazy!

- It was you.

Alex wouldn't do that,
you're fucking lying.

- Babe, look at me.

I know I can be a real
asshole, but I am no murderer.

- Get off me, Donnie.

- Babe.

- Donnie, Donnie.

- Oh, Kelly, no.

Baby, baby, look at me, look at me.

I'm sorry, I didn't...

Baby, look at me.

Oh, Kelly.

No, no no no!

Oh God.

- I like to try to at
least turn 'em first.

Who am I to shit on someone else's style?

And I kind of like yours, killer.

And you helped out a lot tonight.

- Don't call me that.

- Well I call a spade a spade,

and you, killer, are a killer.

- I didn't mean to.

- Well that makes everything okay then!

Are you done?

- Yeah.

Let's go get Roger.

- That clumsy fuck is mine.

You're needed elsewhere.

Go.

You've made such a mess of things, Roger.

But luckily, Donnie, oh he's a rockstar.

Too bad about Alex, though.

I was looking forward to
getting a piece of that myself.

I hope you did before she died, or after.

Hey, there might still be time, Rog.

- You know it's funny.

I never saw one of those
shadows behind you.

- That is funny, isn't it?

- Tim!

Tim!

Tim!

Where the hell have you been, man?

- I missed you too, bro.

I missed you too.

- Do you know what the hell is going on?

- Yeah, I think I got a pretty good idea.

- No!

A lot of people are dead, man.

And some of them have lost their mind.

- Yeah I know.

We have to just get used to it.

- What?

- We have to get used to it.

- What?

- It's the new normal, man.

Check out that dog's tail, dude.

- Hey!

Samantha's fucking dead.

I watched her die myself.

- That's too bad.

I guess that's the danger

of living in a free society.

Bro, do you see what that
lady has on over there?

Holy shit.

Sandy?

Long time no see!

- We've missed you!

Barry's been worried sick about you.

- Hey bro, where are you going?

You guys just got here.
- Barry?

- There's always tomorrow.

- Oh hell no.

- Now that
the economy has crashed,

just like we've been warning you

this past year at the "Powers Report,"

it is clearly time for a change.

Impeachment proceedings are
underway for our President.

Amidst all this turmoil, remember,

there's always tomorrow.

But not for everybody.