All language subtitles for Midsomer Murders.s01e03.Death Of A Hollow Man-engAB

♪ Agnus dei

♪ Donna nobis pacem

♪ Pacem

♪ Donna nobis pacem

♪ Pacem

♪ Miserere

♪ Miserere nobis

♪ Agnus dei, agnus dei

♪ Donna nobis pacem

♪ Pacem ♪

Death of a Hollow Man

All right, Dave? Steady.
Sorry.

You'll give yourself indigestion.

I don't want to be late.

No-one turns up to rehearsals
on time.

The costumes arrived yesterday.

They are so beautiful.

I don't know
where Harold finds the money.

The economy's booming.

No doubt Harold's
exports and imports are, too.

There are dark rumours
of a change of venue.

It seems the Corn Exchange
is no longer good enough for him.

Was it ever?

You haven't finished your supper,
Harold.

Dinner, woman. Dinner.

How many times
do you have to be told?

I'm sorry, Harold, I'm sorry.

Did you get
all the Amadeus publicity out?

Yes, Harold, yes.

That is, I haven't done
the Ferndale Centre.

There's no direct bus route.
Would you mind taking...?

When you see Peter Hall
sticking up posters

let me know.

I shall be happy to join him.

Hello, Dierdre.

Oh!

How are things?
I'm running late.

I couldn't settle Daddy for ages.

Bad again, is he?

You could say that.

What can I do?

Shall I... shall I set up for you?

Oh, thank you, David!

I need that little table
with the cakes on.

And Salieri's wing chair.

Right.

Does that look Viennese, that?

Very Blue Danube.

Every time I get roped into this

I tell myself
it'll be the last time.

Don't we all?
Cully coming over, is she?

Never misses if her mother's in it.

She um...
has she brought any boys home yet?

Who, Joyce?

Yeah. One or two.

I wish David would...

He's not getting any younger.

I'd be happy just to see him
going out with someone.

Well, he will.

He just hasn't met her yet.
-Yeah.

Three copies
of Notes From A Small Island. -Two.

I knew that girl with the Mickey
Mouse rucksack was up to no good.

A passionata two.
Four.

Now they're bringing them back.

You just don't mark stuff off!

I still think
we should have done this on Sunday.

Ah, but Harold wouldn't be in a fury
because we've missed rehearsal.

That's no fun if you can't see it.

Nicholas can act it out
when he gets back.
He'll enjoy that.

I believe he's got a secret passion,
our Nico.

Well, it's not for dusting.
I think he's having an affair.

Hello, Rosa!
Ah, Nico!

Costumes come?

Shall I hear your lines?

No, I'm all right. I think.

Careful.
Is Joyce here?

Green room.

Oh, let's have a look.

Nico,
don't start pulling them about.

Wow, is this one mine?
No, it's the Emperor Joseph's.

Careful, mind that wig!

I'd give anything to play Mercutio.
-Get Amadeus out of your system first.

Salieri.

Kapellmeister.

Tutor.

Patron saint of mediocrities.

Murderer.

Don't be silly.

He killed Mozart.
Never proved.

A life for a life.

It's only a play.

Where is everyone?

Dierdre!

Don't mind, Dierdre.

Yes, Harold?

Where are my actors?
Well, I'm not um...

Rosa

I know where Rosa is,
you stupid girl.

What about lighting and design?

Oh, yes.
Tim and Avery are stocktaking.

But they'll be here on Thursday.

I need them here now!

Today. Not Thursday.

You should have told them.

It's not Dierdre's fault.

Anyway, I need her to help me
with the interval tape.

All right?

Where is my star?

Here I am, maestro!

I'm not in a humorous vein today,
Nicholas.

Where is Esslyn?

God, what am I doing here?
Casting pearls

before uncultured swine.

I, who directed
a number one tour of Spider's Web.

With the original West End cast.

One critic said
he'd never seen anything like it

in the whole of his theatrical life.

'How often Johnny G
would turn to me for advice.'

Harold, love, he would say, dear
boy, this speech of Prospero's...

Where the hell have you been?

The first night
is barely a week away.

Better get on with it, then,
hadn't we?

We were, yet again, in the library
of the Baroness Wald...

Waldstaten.

I know, I know! Waldstaten.

That room, fated to be

the scene of ghastly encounters
between us.

Again, too, the compensating
crema al mascarpone.

I was there when I was a boy.

They absolutely adored me.

I had more kisses
than you've had cakes.

When I was young everyone loved me.

He's doing it again!
Masking me at every turn.

No, I'm not.
Yes, you are. Horrid Nicholas.

I'll say whether he is or not,
thank you.

Salieri is the lead.

People come to see me.
Again and again.

Because they couldn't believe it
the first time.

How dare you!
-Oh, don't be so pompous.

Everyone knows
you're only an accountant.

And everyone knows your chances
of getting into the professional theatre.

Kitty, could you just try this on?

Sorry. Sorry.

Esslyn should play Leopold Mozart.

He's described
as a jealous, dried-up old turd.

Leopold Mozart is not in the play.

Are you sure?
What?

Page 49.

I can't see it.

Only in spirit.

You mustn't allow Esslyn
to do as he likes.

Be firm with him.
You were firm with Sir John.

He was a joy to direct.

A true professional.

Then he acknowledged my talent.

It takes one to know one, Harold.

Another few weeks
and I won't need padding.

Ow!
Rosa?

Darling,
have you pricked your finger?

Maybe she'll go to sleep
for 100 years.

Give us all a break.

Rosa...

Leave me alone.

Would you like a plaster for that?

No.

20 years we were married.
And he'd never give me a child.

It was never the right time,
you see.We were too young.

We didn't have enough money.
The business wasn't established.

But then,
when the business was thriving,

he'd give me
all that moralistic claptrap.

'No sort of world
to bring a child into.'

Then to get Kitty pregnant!

Sometimes I don't know
which of them I hate the most.

Evening, sir.
-Hello, Troy. What have you got?

A middle-aged woman.
In the water for some time.

Hello, George.

Straightforward, is it?
Hard to say at this stage.

Terrible bang on the side of the
head. Maybe happened in the water.

Do you know her, sir?

No.
But I know who she is.

Couldn't this have waited
till morning?

We can't start a postmortem
without identification, sir.

Yes.

That's my cousin.
Agnes Gray.

I knew we had a case when I saw
that terrific crack on her head.

No water in the lungs,
dead when he threw her in.

Why do we bother
with the usual procedures?

We could just come straight to you.

Tyre-lever, didn't they reckon,
on the report?

Yeah. Or a crowbar.

You could say
he'd done the poor woman a kindness.

Pardon?

She was suffering
from advanced cancer. Never treated.

I didn't see that.
-Nobody's perfect.

This is Agnes' place here, sir.

No.

Excuse me.

We're Causton CID.
Oh.

And you are...?

Jenny Evers. Is something wrong?

I'm afraid
Miss Gray has had an accident. Oh.

Do you know her well?

Not very.
We chat about holidays sometimes.

She's always away.
She went to Austria in the spring.

In fact I thought she'd gone off
again when the car disappeared.

And when was that?

About a week ago.

How come you know of Agnes Gray?

She came to Joyce's productions.

Esslyn's part of the group, too.

He's a cold devil.

He looked down at her
as if she was a lump of meat.

Esslyn is not known
for his affectionate nature.

Lunch?

I can't. I've got to buy a book
for my mum's birthday.

Well, hello!

Afternoon.

How can I help?

I'm looking for a book.
-Books are what we do best.

For my mother.

Something light?
I've got a lovely new Trollope.

Pardon?!
Or Catherine Cookson.

Lapped up in the Home Counties,
must be the contrast.

All those dark, satanic mills...

Actually , she's more into
this heritage Edwardian lady stuff.

She's already got the tea towels,
the chopping board, the oven mitt...

We're running out of ideas.

So, you thought you'd get the diary?

I designed the set for that.

My partner did the lighting.

He has a way with a lamp
you wouldn't believe...

Ah!
Avery, I'm in a hurry.

Now, what do you call this?

The third finger of your right hand.

You're meant to dust every morning

in exchange for that room upstairs.

I'm sorry, I overslept.
I'll do it tomorrow.

Where are you going, anyway?

I'm... meeting someone.

All right?

If you're in a hurry, mate,
I should try Smiths.

That took you long enough.

He only tried to sell me a diary.

In the middle of October.

So, I got her a car vacuum set.

Your mother doesn't have a car.

No, but it'll do for cushions.

Is that the forensic on Agnes Gray?

Yeah, it is. Leaf mould
and pine needles on her clothes.

Nothing under her nails.

No skin flakes, no hair,
no bits of cloth, no blood.

And the PM told us
there were no scratches.

She didn't put up a fight, then.

Is this the key
that was round her neck?

Yeah.

To a very large padlock?

Your appointment, Mr Carmichael.

Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.

Right.

Would you like to come through?

What is it now, Tom?

Thank you.

Agnes Gray.

Is her body released for burial?

You could have told me that
over the phone.

Your cousin... was murdered, Esslyn.

Agnes? Well, who would...

Well, I mean...

she's just not the sort.

Tell me about her.

There's not much to tell.

She did the same job for 25 years.

Took early retirement.

What job was this, sir?

With the BBC World Service.

She spoke
excellent French and Italian.

Although her degree
was in Art History.

She always sent holiday postcards
from the Uffizi or the Louvre

or some other dry as dust mausoleum.

What about men?

Was she ever engaged or married?

No.

Poor Agnes. (CLEARS THROAT)
Plain little soul.

Friends, then.

She preferred animals,
even as a child.

Drove her parents mad.

She was a kind person, then,
was she?

Agnes always identified with the...

weak and wounded.

To quite a morbid degree.

But I suppose she was rather...

a loser, herself.

Blimey! Fancy having that
as your only living relative!

No wonder
she preferred to save the whales.

What are we looking for, sir?
-I don't know, Troy.

But I'm missing something...

I'll check out the bedroom.

♪ Donna nobis pacem

♪ Pacem

♪ Pacem ♪

Bastard even ripped her clothes.

Well, he certainly went to town
on this place, didn't he?

No handbag. I assume he took that
when he killed her.

Mmm, probably.

A little bit of jewellery.

Pearl brooch, little gold ring.

One of those crosses
on a bead necklace.

A rosary?

I don't get this place.

How do you mean? -Agnes Gray
appreciated beautiful things.

But nothing here, apart
from a few books, reflects that.

Dreary furniture, dull clothes.

Perhaps she thought
she didn't deserve beautiful things.

It doesn't sound as if
she had much confidence.

Anything interesting?

Not really...

Mainly bills.

Ah!

A letter with a donkey on.
Oh, come on!

'Dear Miss Gray, thank you
from the bottom of our hearts
for another wonderful donation

to the five acre field
and new stables. The ã150...

ã150,000.

Let me see that.

Right,
I want every bit of paper bagged.

And find out the name of her bank.

First, may I offer my condolences
on your sad loss?

Thank you, Mr Makepeace.

I'm not sure
if Miss Gray made you privy

to the dispensation of her will.

As I have only two legs and no tail

I don't expect to benefit.

Quite.

It's quite straightforward.

All monies and the proceeds
from the sale of her house

go to various charities.

They're carefully listed
in some detail.

You won't find your duties
as executor too onerous.

Good.

There is one more thing.

You can have the afternoon off,
Mrs Maddox.

But I've got all these...

Kitty?
I'm going to have to work late,

so you'd better go to rehearsals
without me.

No. No, I won't overdo things.

I'm really very strong.

"(CHORTLES) Who's a silly kitten?!"

"Love you."

(AMERICAN ACCENT)
Love you too, baby.

Unbelievable.

Sixty-what-was-it?

ã860,000 over seven years.

Maybe she won the lottery.

Not in 1991, she didn't.

And then to give it all...
to animals!

Everyone needs something to love.
And animals love you back.

Not the same, though, is it?

I wouldn't fancy cuddling up
at night to a cocker spaniel.

Don't knock it before you try it.

"So far over 700 people
have signed the petition

against the reduction
in library opening hours."

"Causton CID, who are investigating
the murder of Agnes Gray,

from the Midsomer area,

would like to talk
to anyone who knew her."

"They are also anxious
to trace her car,

a Ford van,
registration number B920 BOO."

I don't want money.

You know what I want.

Not such an ugly word as murder.

Oh, yes, I have proof, all right.

Monday night.

I'll give you till Monday.

Kitty!

Up here, darling! In the bath.

Hello.

Rosa, what the hell do you want?

♪ La-da da-da ba-dum pom-pom

♪ L'amour est enfant de Boheme

♪ Qui
n'a jamais, jamais connu de loi

♪ Si tu me n'aimes pas

Je t'aime.

♪ Et si je t'aime...

Prends garde a toi!

I think it's only fair to tell
you...

Fair?!

You call this fair?

As soon as tonight's out of the way
I'll start divorce proceedings.

The child will be provided for.

You can provide for yourself.

Judging by how quickly
you jumped into my bed

you shouldn't find that hard.

Esslyn! Baby!

This is just
a stupid misunderstanding!

I love you!

Did she seem genuine,
this Peggy Marshall?

I'd say so.

Can bring out a lot of wackos
public appeals.

Miss Marshall?

Yes.

I'm Detective
Chief Inspector Barnaby. This is...

Detective Sergeant Troy.
I hope you don't mind meeting here.

No, no. Of course not.

Thank you for getting in touch.
So, how did you know Agnes Gray?

I was assigned to take her under my wing
when she first accepted instruction
in the faith.

Around six months ago.

That would be
the Catholic church, would it?

There is only one faith, young man.

I discovered, almost at once,
that Agnes was greatly troubled.

Did you know she had cancer?

Yes.

She had already decided
not to have any treatment.

I felt a great...

loneliness in her, Inspector.

She didn't seem to have
a single friend.

Did she ever tell you
what was troubling her?

No.

Just that she had done something
very wrong.

And wanted to put matters right
before she died.

Did she indicate how?

It wasn't straightforward.

Apparently,
another person was involved.

Bitch! Bitch!

I see you've been got at.

Avery's right. I have been slacking.

I've things on my mind.
-Interesting things?

Secret things.

Yyou shouldn't mention it, then.
Teasing people is ill-mannered.

Let's just say that soon, my life
may be miraculously transformed.

You really are
the most irritating boy.

Is that our lunch?

No, it's our lunch.

I just saw Esslyn, in a BMW.

Bit early for cheap thrills,
isn't it?

He jumped a red light.

So, how do you feel?

Eurgh!
It'll run like a dream.

You're a brilliant stage manager.

I've got some brilliant help.

Is your... is your dad coming?

No. No, I've persuaded him
to wait until the last night.

With a bit of luck by then
he will have forgotten about it.

Ooh, personal props...

Oh, I'll do those.

You're very kind, David. Thank you.

Darling, how lovely to see you!
Sold out, as usual.

Sit where you like
the press seats are reserved.

Ah, good evening, sir! Sir John
is devastated not to be here.

The journey was just too much...

This is going to be a disaster.

As great as Aunt Laetitia
falling off the Matterhorn.

Uh-huh...

But a bad dress rehearsal
does make a good first night.

I wonder what fatuous idiot
first thought of that?

I believe it was Abraham Lincoln.

My God!

It's actually filling up.

You'd think
they'd know better by now.

So, there she was,
snivelling in the prompt corner.

'What's the matter, Dierdre?'
I said.

Her senile old fool of a father
had forgotten to take his tablets

and gone out directing traffic
at Badger's Drift.

How terrible, says I.
Yes, says Dierdre,

'He doesn't know that area at all.'

Very funny.
Thank you.

You know your problem, Esslyn?

What, Nicolarse?

'Too full
of the milk of human kindness.'

What?

You've quoted
from the Scottish play.

What, Macbeth?

Go outside the dressing room,
turn round three times
and come back in.

Don't be ridiculous.

Clockwise or anti-clockwise?

Oh, Daddy!

I just came to wish you good luck.

You shouldn't be out by yourself.

I just came to wish you good luck.

Oh, er... thank you very much.

Come on, darling.

Let's go and find you a seat.

Bold effects are, as you know,

my forte.
You can never have too much verismo.

What is verismo?

Hello, Doris. Nice to see you again.

Would you like a programme?

If it's wishy-washy naturalism
you're after, watch television.

Troy! This is my daughter, Cully.
Cully, Gavin Troy.

Hi, Gavin.
Pleased to meet you.

..finest cast since Spider's Web.

There's a full house out there
and the atmosphere is electric!

Neck and leg break, Mum.

Good luck, everyone.

Especially you.

Sorry.

Stayed behind to gloat, have you?

I beg your pardon?

You think I don't know
who's to blame?

And for doing over my car.

You don't think that breaking us up
is going to bring him back?

I'm sure I don't know what you mean.

Want to know
how he described your sex life?

He said it was like humping
a tranquillised cart-horse.

That's for my set.

(WHISPERINGS) Assassin! Assassin!

Assassin! Salieri! Assassin!

Salieri!

I know who started the tale.

I know who started the tale.

The old man's valet.

The old man's cook.

I'm going to pounce-bounce.

I'm going to scrunch-munch.

I'm going to chew-poo
my little mouse-wouse.

I'm going to tear her to bits
with my paws-claws. No.

Paws-claws! Paws-claws!

These cakes are absolutely vile!

I must say, our little ensemble
is excelling itself tonight.

Half of them were ad-libbing.

And the Emperor Joseph is walking
as though he's got a duck
up his knickers.

But the lighting was,
as always, magnificent.

Now, I can offer...

..anchovy and provolone
on olive bread,

or... walnut and banana
on fruit loaf, with brown sugar.

Where are you going?

A spot went on stage.
I've got to fix it.

I didn't notice that.

Where's the three-minute buzzer?

It's only just...
-How dare you answer me back?!

You're a brainless cretin.
What are you?

Hey, what happened to you?
Walked into an accountant.

Poor love.Kiss it better.

I have been listening to the cats
in the courtyard. They're all singing Rossini.

Where do we go, then?
-What?

Do we do it here?

Why not?

Well? Let's get on with it.

There are your manuscripts.
Please take them and go.
Now! At once!

You shit!
Via! Don't return.

You rotten shit!

Bloody hell!
What's going on down there?

If he lays another finger on me
I'll frigging kill him.

Shhhh!
Bastard. Bastard!

No-one can harm, musically,
Princess Elizabeth.

Nico! You're on.

Mozart certainly did not suspect me.

The Emperor made his announcement
in his usual way.

Well, there it is.

And I commiserated with the loser.

I think
we should bring the curtain down.

Not before my death scene you don't.
Harold would only raise it again.

Well, that's true.

We don't know
what Esslyn will do next.

I'm all right.

Forewarned is forearmed.

I will go to become a ghost myself.

I will stand in the shadows
when you come here to this earth
in your turn.

And when you feel the dreadful bite
of your failures.

And hear the taunting
of an unachievable, uncaring God

(Joyce.)
I will whisper my name to you.

(Salieri),
patron saint of mediocrities.

Truth will out.

And, in the depths
of your downcastness,

you can pray for me.

And I will forgive you.

Vi saluto!

Get the curtain down!

Get it down!

Washed in the blood of the lamb...

Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please.

There has been... an accident.

Would you all please stay in
your seats for the next few minutes?

'I'm absolutely certain, Tom.'

The tape was on the blade
when Dierdre checked the razor.

I was here.
And when was that?

A few minutes before curtain up.

So, it just sits there
till the end of the play.

Yes.

Anyone could have tampered with it.

Bit risky. People are using
the props table all the time.

But the lights are dim,
actors milling about...

Well, you can't just whip it off.

You'd need a knife
and you'd have to be careful.

That thing was bloody sharp.

I can't believe it.

Who would do such a dreadful thing?

Everyone liked Esslyn.

Obviously not quite everyone,
darling.

Perhaps it was an accident.
Of course it was an accident!

The tape got torn or something.

It's outrageous, making us
wait in here like naughty children.

That's show business
start with Mozart,

end with Gotterdammerung.

How can you be so heartless?!

It's that stupid girl's fault.

If she'd checked it properly...

Dierdre is not stupid.

And I doubt whether
this will prove to be her fault.

Then why has she disappeared?

Her father ran off
straight after it happened.

Tom was talking to David Smy
about it.

David Smy?!

He's an assistant stage manager.
The lowest of the low.

I should be seen first
I'm in charge.

The police are in charge here.
Now, if you'll please...

How is she?

Not good.
The paramedics gave her some stuff

but it's made her pretty sleepy.

Is there anything I can do?
I don't think so, but thanks.

Cully, I'm sorry, I should have
got these to you before.

Joyce?
Tom...

Cully's going to drive you home.
I'll follow as soon as I can.

Why don't I drive?
If that's all right.

That's very good of you, Nicholas.
But we do need to talk.

Can you come into the police
station tomorrow, two o'clock?

At last!

I'm sorry you've been kept waiting.

It's late
and if anyone wants to go...

Now he tells us!

My sergeant will be in touch
to arrange interviews.

I elect to be seen now.

What are you doing, Kitty?
You can't be by yourself tonight.

You come and have some supper
with us.

We'll be cooking, won't we, Tim?

Oh, dear. Kitty, I er...

Don't worry about me.

I'll book into the nearest Hilton.

I can tell you now, Tom, I felt a
sinister frisson to this production

from the very beg...

What is the matter with you?!

All I did was ask the wretched girl
back for a bit of supper.

When I sit down with someone

I like to be sure
I'm going to get up again.

(Oh, go on, you don't mean Kitty..?)

Yes! God forgive me,
yes, I do.

Dad?

Dad?

Are you coming?

Dad?

There she is!
Yeah, I see her.

Are you Dierdre Tibbs?
Yes.

You're looking for your father?

He'll be making for the day centre.
It's two minutes in the car.

He feels safe there.

Come on, we'll get you there, love.

He wasn't a very nice man,
sometimes mean.

But... we were young together.
We were very happy for a while.

Can you think of anyone
who'd want to kill him?

Kitty, of course!

He only married her
because she was pregnant.

Chances are it wasn't even his.

What makes you say that?

She's having an affair.

Esslyn was going to change his will
and start divorce proceedings.

Do you have any idea
who her lover was?

Or how... Esslyn found out?

Tom...

How was I to know what she'd do?

I'd do anything, anything...

to take it back.

I don't know what you're playing at,

constantly passing me over
like a boot boy.

How am I supposed to retain
the respect of my actors?

One thing I cannot stand
is high-handedness.

Harold, it's getting very late.
-Whose fault is that?

And I'm on the verge
of losing my temper.

Earlier on tonight,
when you were backstage,

did you see anything
out of the ordinary?

Someone handling the props
who doesn't normally?

I was hardly backstage at all.

People expect to see me
front of house.

It's the only chance they get
to mingle.

I went to wish the actors luck.

You followed me down there,
I believe, Tom.

The buzzer was late
at the end of the interval,

so I popped round to chivvy
that clueless stage manager.

I thought the second part was...

much improved,didn't you?

Except for the er...
utter shambles at the end.

Are you sure
you know what's going on here, sir?

Certainly.
Someone has sabotaged Amadeus.

Did you have any reason
to wish Esslyn dead?

Me?! He was my leading man!

My star. Now I've got to start
all over again,

training Nicholas.

Neil, will you take Mrs Winstanley
home? It's Martyr Warren.

I didn't mean to be any trouble...

He's really lost it, hasn't he,
that bloke?

A long time ago.
Just the type we're looking for.

Perfect(!) He couldn't have done it.
Not in the wings long enough.

But why have
such a risky and complicated plan?

Yeah, he just had to wait
for a dark night and bash the bloke's head in.

But what if tonight
was his last chance?

That puts his wife in the frame.

She kills him at home and it's a domestic.
This way it could be anybody.

Good point.

There he is!
Kev will be quicker, love.

Yes, but he's a stranger.

Daddy will be frightened.

It's all right, Daddy.

Mr Tibbs?

Come along now...

Time to go home.

Your daughter's waiting.

Washed in the blood of the lamb.

Streaming...

Streaming everywhere.

It's all over now.
Let me help you down.

I suppose there's no way
old Mr Tibbs could be in the frame?

Oh, for God's sake, Troy!
He was backstage.

If that's all it takes, so was I.

Yeah, but you're not
one sandwich short of a picnic. Sir.

Tom! This is kind of you.

How is he?

Fractured ribs.
A broken leg.

He'll get better,
but it'll take a long time.

I'm really sorry.
He was so frightened.

Yeah, it was a bad business.

Detective Sergeant Troy.

We were hoping
you might be able to help us.

Anything. Anything I can do.

You checked the razor
minutes before the curtain went up.

That's right.

And the tape wasn't snagged or torn,
as Harold has been suggesting.

It was in place.

No-one is blaming you.

But it remains a fact
that some time during the play,

someone removed the razor
and took the tape off.

What about the chap
playing the valet?

David?

He handled the tray.
Would he have had time?

David?!

Was there any point during the play
when the wings were completely empty?

I went to the loo once.

It was at the end of the interval.

It took all of two minutes.

When I got back Harold was yelling
at me about the buzzer being late.

Could you drop me at home, Troy?
I want to see how Joyce is.

Righto, sir.

And there's a couple of interviews
at the bookshop.

Couldn't somebody else do those?

Well, you'll be all right.
Just hang on to your credentials.

I know it irritates Tim
but... I can't help it.

Every time he goes to the post
or shopping or the library

I keep thinking...

is that what he's really doing?
Or is he seeing someone?

He's got more than enough
on his plate coping with you.

But what can he see in me, Nico?

I mean, he's so elegant and...

oh, handsome and austere.

You know,
sort of spiritually opulent.

What's brought all this on?

I think it's partly because
he hasn't always been gay.

I was making sequined jockstraps
for Paddington when I was three.

But Tim...

Well, he veered.

Hither and yon.

All the way through adolescence.

He was even engaged.

I'm sure he's turned his back
on all that now.

I suppose you think that's funny?

Yeah, I do, actually.

You're a cruel, heartless boy!

You wait till you fall in love.

I think I'm just about to.

So, when did you get this audition
at Central?

The other week.
But don't tell anyone. It's secret.

I should get the results soon.

I've had a few theatre jobs
since Cambridge.

You're kidding?!
Third witch in Macbeth

and a Polish tour of Much Ado.

Brilliant! How did it go?

I got mumps. Our tents
were washed away in a thunderstorm

and Claudia was had up
for soliciting.

I can't wait to start!
So, what are you doing now?

Trudging round the agents.

I'm up
for a voice-over next week, though.

So, um... will you get a grant?

I'll have to come and see you, then.
Stake you to a veggie burger.

David!

I er...

I just thought I'd come and see
how things were going.

Thank you.

Ooh, I must put them in water
straightaway.

They're not for your father,
Dierdre.

They're for you.
For me?

How are you, love?

I'm still a bit groggy.
I keep seeing him.

Over and over again.

Cully?

Nicholas.

Tom.
I came to see how Joyce was.

Well, you won't see how she is
from here. Try the sitting room.

Right.

Second door on the left.

Second on left.

Don't forget your interview.
Two o'clock sharp.

Oh, crikey!

Stay and have some soup.
Then you can go back with Dad.

'Yes. The Corn Exchange, Causton.
Three o'clock.'

Photographers will also be welcome

to photograph the director,
Mr Winstanley, in person,
at the scene of the crime.

The crime that was on the news
this morning.

Oh, yes... And our drama group
production of Amadeus

was in full flight when...

Hello?

Financial Times.

Hello, is that The Daily Telegraph?

Could you put me through
to the theatre department, please?

Yes, yes, I will. Thank you.

Are they all coming?
-They sounded very interested, Harold.

Who are you onto, now?

The Daily Telegraph.
They asked me to hold.

Hold? At daytime rates?

Well, hello again!

Afternoon.

Put the catch down on the door.
Turn the notice to Closed.

We're having our lunch!

Detective Sergeant Troy,
Causton CID.

It's regarding
Mr Carmichael's death last night.

God, was it only last night?

I understand you were both there.

We were in the lighting box, yes.

At what point did you go backstage?

I don't
until after the final curtain.

But Tim...
Once.

In the interval. To change a light.

Colin Smy was with me all the time.

Did you see anything
out of the ordinary?

In the wings?

No.

A glass for you, Sergeant?
No. Thank you.

Can either of you think of anyone
who might have wanted
to harm Mr Carmichael?

Well, you've got a wide field.

The man was a heartless shit.

Had personal experience of that,
have you, sir?

Bottoms up.

Zilch at the bookshop.

The little fat one
wasn't backstage at all.

The thin, sarky one, briefly,
but with Colin Smy.

I got nothing out of Nicholas,

except that Esslyn had crushed
his hand. Made a real mess of it.

Why was that?
-He says he has no idea.

Bollocks. I bet he found out
he was Kitty's fancyman.

He'd better not be.

Where's Colin Smy?

What the hell do you think you're playing at?
You were due at the station at three.

I did it, Tom.
I killed him.

Are you confessing to the murder
of Esslyn Carmichael?

Why did you do it?
-Why?

Not an unreasonable question.

He was an awful man!

Sneering, laughing at everyone.

Cruel.

I decided
he should be taught a lesson.

Bit of a savage one, wasn't it?

I didn't think he'd die.

What do you think a man does
if you slice across his throat?

How did you get the tape off?

With my Stanley knife.
And where's that now?

Still in the scene dock.
When did you do it?

I don't remember. It was on impulse.
What did you do with the tape?

Flushed it down the toilet.

No. We tried that. It floats.

Where was David
while all this was going on?

The men's dressing room.
Anyone can vouch for him.

He ought to vouch for himself
by the look of it.

Oh, no!

What are you doing here?

Picking up the van.

I'm collecting a friend after work.

What's happening?

Your father has just confessed
to the murder of Esslyn.

Don't be daft.
-He thinks you did it.

Me?!

Why would I...

You saw me, didn't you?

What did he see, Mr Smy?

'Esslyn was being really vicious
about Dierdre's father.'

I was so angry...

I shook Vim all over
those little cakes he eats on stage.

I mean...3
-You silly old sod!

Fancy a cup of tea, Tom?

No, I do not fancy a cup of tea.

You're lucky I don't charge you
with wasting police time.

Thanks.

Don't do it again. All right?

I've asked Dierdre
for supper tonight.

Really?
I didn't know you fancied her.

I don't fancy her.
I love her.

Are you sure you're feeling
up to this, Kitty?

I'll do my best.
It is for Esslyn, after all.

Quite. Can you think of anyone...

anyone who might want to kill him?

Well...

Rosa is so full of bitterness.

She led him a terrible life.

So, you didn't take the tape
off the razor yourself?

Tom!

You'd had a serious quarrel.
He'd knocked you about on stage.

That was part of the play.

You said that if he touched you
again, you'd kill him.

People say wild things
when they're angry.

Sometimes they do them.

Can you imagine me
doing anything like that?

He'd discovered that you were having an affair.
-That's a lie.

He was going to change his will,
sue for divorce.

Leaving you
without the proverbial...

And what about the baby?

Poor, fatherless mite.

Is it his?
Course it is! Cheeky bugger!

A jury would be very sympathetic.

A violent man, well-off.

Yet still prepared to consign
his wife and child to poverty.

I didn't touch the razor!

What an utterly useless
waste of a day.

We cleared quite a few people
out of the way.

So now there are no suspects left!

DCI Barnaby.

Oh!

Where's this place again?
-It's over there.

Help yourself to sugar.
That's a pound. Thank you.

Cheers.

How's that bacon coming on?

Yes, gentlemen!
Mr Green!

Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.
This is DS Troy.

Thanks for telling us about the van.

I recognised it
as soon as I saw it on television.

You see that alley-way over there?

I saw it several times,
going in and coming out.

And always that poor lady driving.

Agnes Gray?
Yeah.

Right, Troy.

I'd start at that end.

There you are.

What are you going to do?
Sample Mr Green's bacon sandwiches.

Hello, sir!

Trying a spot of breaking
and entering, are we?

I think we should discuss this
down the station.

Sorry, Sergeant.

Well, now you're here
you can make yourself useful.

Check the rest of these garages,
starting with this one.

Sir.

♪ Agnus dei

I'm sorry
I had nothing ready, Harold.

It's not like you
to be home at midday.

The life of the mind
is what nourishes, Doris.

The creative tumult in which the
genuine artist must sink... or swim.

This is coarse clay by comparison.

Is there any pudding?

Oh, yes... rhubarb cobbler,
left over from Sunday.

I was wondering, Harold,
will you be going to the funeral?

What funeral?

Ess...
-Oh, Esslyn. No, certainly not.

Vanya is taking up all my time.

I must get on with it right now.

Pardon?

I'm going to pay a call on Nicholas.

He must start training.
One cannot start too soon.

He has an antic disposition.

But er... we'll soon stamp that out.

Yes, Charlie. Press conference
six o'clock tomorrow.

The Yard's arts and antique mob
should have got in touch by then.

Pictures. Yes. Pictures.
No, an arrest is not imminent.

So, you reckon
this is a work of art, then?

Good God, man, of course it is!

I thought it might be religious.

Maybe it was once.

Once?
Churches have been robbed for years.

The stuff ends up in museums
or private collections.

A 17th-century St Jerome
was found in a lake, on a plinth,

transformed into a fountain.

Nice one!

But Agnes Gray was a Catholic.

Any likeness of the Madonna
would be sacred.

I don't know how she came by it,
but I can't see her selling it on.

So, that's soap, unscented,
tomatoes, a lemon and marmalade.

Chunky.
-OK. Chunky.

Are you sure
you're going to be all right?

What?

Er...I'll be fine. I'll be fine.

It'll do you good
to get out into the fresh air.

OK. If you're sure.

I won't be long.
I might pop in at the Blackbird.

Yes?

See you soon.

Congratulations, dear boy.

Nicholas.

Mmm... and remember,it was us
that believed in you first.

Thanks for all the support
and encouragement.

And the room. Well, everything.

Hey, it was our pleasure.

I'll never forget you.

We shall expect front circle seats
for all your opening nights.

Did your 'disappearances' have
anything to do with this audition?

Yes. Coaching. Voice lessons.

Blackbird Bookshop.

Sorry, wrong number.

We thought
you were having an affair.

What?!
-With Kitty.

I couldn't make love to Kitty.
She can't act.

Is there any more champagne?
-No! We've spoilt you enough.

It's time we reopened the shop.

I feel...

I don't know, as if I'm on the verge
of something wonderful.

Oh, God, it's Dracula's mother.

You're not letting him in?!

He won't go away until we do.

Thank you.

I have the most thrilling news.

Oh, you've heard already.
-Nico's won a place at drama school.

Tomorrow morning I sign
a ten year lease on a real theatre.

And you'll be proud to know,Nicholas,
that I have chosen you
to be my new leading man.

But Tim's just told you...
Lear looms, dear boy. Oedipus.

Hamlet... There is nothing to stop
you playing all the major roles,

under my expert guidance.

You don't listen, do you, Harold?

This is the realisation
of a dream for me.

Sometimes I thought
it would never come to pass.

Oh,
I had my dark nights of the soul.

And my enemies,
as great men always do.

And they are vanquished!

As the enemies of great men
always are.

Well, Avery,

I look forward
to your designs on Uncle Vanya.

And your ideas on lighting, Tim.

Nothing fancy
it is Russia, you know.

Best get on.
-Dusters are under the sink, Nico.

Nicholas?
What?

Oh. Yes. I will. I promise.

I have to go now.

When I get back. OK?

Do you think he will remember us?
-Course not!

He's on the verge
of something wonderful.

It's from Agnes Gray's bank.

A weird-sounding lot
paid into her account.

Alekbar Georgiades.

Count Gottfried von Schlo...
Schell.

I wouldn't like the job
of tracking this lot down.

Should they prove to exist.
-Sorry?

False names covering a syndicate.

Iffy money, too. Offshore accounts.

DCI Barnaby.

Oh! Good afternoon, sir.
Yes. Yeah, I thought it would be.

I'd appreciate that.
Yes, thank you, sir. Bye.

Do they know what it is?
A 16th-century figure,

stolen from a church near Innsbruck,
11th of March this year.

So, she's got a nice thing going.
Why share it?

Because she needed help.

I'd say she needed
somebody in haulage.
That looks like pretty heavy freight.

Import-export.

How could I have been so blind?
-Harold?

You said Harold
wouldn't have had time.

There were two razors.
Two razors?

The first one was already in the tray.
The second he took in with him.

And I'll tell you why and how
he swapped them round.

'Harold went backstage twice
during the evening.'

'Just before the show began
and at the end of the interval.'

'He made the first switch
moments before curtain up.'

'He substituted the original one
with his.'

'A casual glance at the props tray
would reveal nothing wrong.'

Excuse me. Thank you.

'He must have known
it was going to be a fiddly job.'

'The interval gave him the opportunity and the time
to remove the tape from the actual razor.'

Flickered a bit, then went out.
I didn't notice anything.
-Don't you start!

'Minutes before Act Two, taking
advantage of Dierdre's absence,

he swapped them back.'

Where's the three-minute buzzer?
-It's only just...

Poor old Esslyn.
Never had a chance.

So, we bring Harold in?

Yes. We do.

Blackbird Bookshop.

You mustn't ring here.
-I shall do more than bloody ring.

You come and meet me now
or I'll tell that poofy tub of lard

what the love of his life does
on his afternoons off.

Why are you being so spiteful?

Please!

You'll set me off in a minute.
Don't!

Look, I don't love her.

I love you.

I wonder how Harold and Agnes
first got together.

I doubt we'll ever really know.

But I think we know how it ended.

♪ Agnus dei

♪ Agnus dei, donna nobis pacem

♪ Pacem ♪

Vi saluto!

Doris?

Doris?

Martyr Warren?
Yes, that's it.

Harold, I won't say anything.

I'll go away...

I think that would be best, Doris.

I'm changing my life
quite considerably.

There'll be no place for you here.

Oh, yes! Right... I'll go...
I'll go and pa-pa-pa-pack.

Pack. Yes.

My dear, I don't think
that will be necessary.

Get an ambulance!

Tom! I didn't know you were here.

Harold.

Well, what a kerfuffle.

Still, it couldn't be helped.
They would try to stop me, you see.

Agnes Gray, Doris, Esslyn...

Two stupid women and a man
with delusions of grandeur.

Well, all back to normal now.
-Who's this? -A friend.

And... we'd like you
to come along with us.

What? Now?
-Yes.

Oh, no, it's impossible.
I'm casting Vanya tonight.

Scofield will be here in a minute.
I've offered him Serebryakov.

But, Harold, the press are waiting.

That moron on the Causton Echo?

No, no, no, the real press
Times, Guardian...

Michael Billington.

Michael Bill...

Tom, is this true?

Oh, yes!

I must have my hat.

Thank you.

I knew this would happen, Tom.
I knew they'd remember me.

That was delicious, Joyce!
-Cully helped.

I could have helped more, Tom,
with this awful business.

Nico.
What?

Joyce, I'm sorry. I didn't think.

No, it's all right.
Really, I'm fine.

In what way, Nicholas?

Esslyn was always boasting
that he'd make a great director.

Harold never gave him a chance.
If you'd known...

It wouldn't have saved Esslyn.

Was that the blackmail deal, then?

Yes. Control
of the new theatre and company

or he'd expose
the business with Agnes Gray.

Do you have proof of that?

Kitty found Esslyn's disc,

with details of
all the transactions on it. And...

Harold confessed.

In the last of his lucid moments.

Last of...?

He'll never come to trial.

Poor Harold.

Can you believe that anyone would
commit murder for the sake of a theatre?

Dad!
Tom!

Right, the theatre it is.

ALL: The theatre!

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