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1
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:42,394
This is Zero One Alpha.
We have secured Falcon.
2
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:45,606
I say again, we have secured Falcon.
3
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,234
By the time I count to ten...
4
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,528
...you will have told me
exactly what I need to know.
5
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:51,946
If not...
6
00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:56,033
...the number ten will be the
last thing you will ever hear.
7
00:01:56,242 --> 00:01:57,076
One
8
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Two
9
00:01:58,369 --> 00:01:58,702
Three
10
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Four
11
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,622
Five
12
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:02,665
Six
13
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:03,791
Seven
14
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:04,542
Eight
15
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,377
Grenade! Sir, get back!
16
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,059
Shit.
17
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,270
Fucking missed it.
18
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,897
How did I fucking miss it?
19
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,695
Merlin, I apologize for putting
you in this position.
20
00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:34,405
You trained him well.
21
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,949
James...
22
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:41,203
training is over.
23
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,456
Welcome to Kingsman.
24
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,250
Lancelot.
25
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,418
Sir.
26
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:54,758
I'll deal with this mess personally.
27
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,933
I very much regret that your husband's
bravery can't be publicly celebrated.
28
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,393
I hope you understand.
29
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,061
How can I understand?
30
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,230
You won't tell me anything.
31
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,609
I didn't even know
he wasn't with his squad.
32
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:12,943
I'm so sorry, I can't say more.
33
00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,447
But I would like to present you
with this Medal of Valor...
34
00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:20,951
and if you look closely on the back,
there's a number.
35
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:23,829
And as a more concrete gesture
of our gratitude...
36
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,915
we'd like to offer you...
37
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,459
Let's call it a favor.
38
00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:30,127
The nature of it is your choice.
39
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,629
Just tell the operator...
40
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,507
"oxfords not brogues,"
and then I'll know it's you.
41
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,511
I don't want your help!
42
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,097
I want my husband back!
43
00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:51,106
What's your name, young man?
44
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,524
Eggs)'-
45
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,109
Hello, Eggs)!-
46
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,528
Can I see that?
47
00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:05,287
You take care of this, Eggsy.
48
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,665
All right?
49
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,212
And take care of your mum, too.
50
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,715
So sorry, Professor Arnold.
Just a tiny bit more.
51
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,384
For God's sakes, just rip it off.
52
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:04,096
I'm under very strict instructions
not to hurt you.
53
00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:06,515
Look, you've made a mistake.
54
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:09,435
I'm a university lecturer.
I've got no money.
55
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,061
This isn't about money.
56
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,188
Our boss just wants to talk to you.
57
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,274
Am I meant to find that reassuring?
58
00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:17,568
He'll be here soon. He'll explain.
59
00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:20,362
Do you like whiskey?
60
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,741
Red, get the '62 Dalmore.
61
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,120
Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing.
62
00:05:28,454 --> 00:05:30,247
You will shit.
63
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:52,936
I suppose asking to borrow
a cup of sugar is a step too far?
64
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:19,797
Professor Arnold,
I'm here to take you home.
65
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,434
1962 Dalmore.
66
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,686
It'd be a sin to spill any.
67
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:36,814
Don't you think?
68
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,690
Can you hold these? Please?
69
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:34,872
Thank you.
70
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,547
Everything is clean.
71
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,055
My kind of welcome.
72
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,565
No stomach for violence.
73
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,650
I mean, literally,
I see one drop of blood...
74
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,736
that is me done.
75
00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:07,070
I'm like...
76
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,572
projectile.
77
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,908
Listen, I'm so sorry...
78
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:16,455
you had to witness all this unpleasantness
due to our uninvited guest.
79
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:20,751
But I promise you, by the time
I've found out who he works for...
80
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:25,255
you and I will be the best of friends.
81
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,889
To the shop, please.
82
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,372
Arthur's in the dining room, sir.
83
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,008
Arthur.
84
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,385
Galahad.
85
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:16,265
The others were beginning to wonder
if we were going to have a double toast.
86
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:22,938
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to
say it's been 17 years...
87
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:25,482
since we last had occasion
to use this decanter.
88
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:30,779
Lancelot was an outstanding agent,
and a true Kingsman.
89
00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,364
He will be sorely missed.
90
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,908
To Lancelot.
91
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,411
To Lancelot.
92
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:46,461
I intend to start the selection process
for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow.
93
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,172
I want each of you
to propose a candidate...
94
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,675
and have them report to UK HQ...
95
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:54,011
no later than 9 p.m. GMT.
96
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:55,470
Thank you.
97
00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:58,849
Merlin.
98
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,518
Come in.
99
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,563
Lancelot was investigating
a group of mercenaries...
100
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:07,441
who were experimenting
with biological weaponry.
101
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:08,609
Glasses, gentlemen, please.
102
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,614
Uganda,2012.
103
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,282
Synthetic cathinones.
104
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,869
They put it in the water supply
of a guerrilla army base.
105
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,289
Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities.
106
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,125
Chechnya, 2013.
107
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,085
Insurgents turned on one another.
108
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:31,006
Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries,
but no trace of any chemicals of any kind.
109
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,257
So what happened to Lancelot?
110
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,261
He tracked them to this property
in Argentina.
111
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,763
While he had them under surveillance...
112
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,765
he became aware
they'd effected a kidnapping.
113
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:44,603
So he executed a solo rescue mission,
which failed.
114
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,980
This is his last transmission.
115
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,526
-Who is he?
-Some climate change doomsayer.
116
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,195
Expounds something
called "Gaia theory"...
117
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,113
about the world healing itself,
or some such.
118
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,159
But what's curious,
is he's not actually missing.
119
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,953
This is Professor Arnold...
120
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,164
at Imperial College this morning.
121
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,000
It's all yours.
122
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,461
And don't forget
your membership proposal.
123
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:12,714
Try picking a more suitable
candidate this time.
124
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,758
17 years and still...
125
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:18,553
evolving with the times remains
an entirely foreign concept to you.
126
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,807
Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for that young man?
127
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,559
He was as much Kingsman
material as any of them.
128
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,936
More so.
129
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:29,106
But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he?
130
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:33,485
Let's face it, Galahad,
your little experiment failed.
131
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,698
With respect, Arthur, you're a snob.
132
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,949
"With respect"?
133
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,327
The world is changing.
134
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:46,498
There's a reason why aristocrats
developed weak chins.
135
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:05,976
Eggsy?
136
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,188
Eggsy, come here.
137
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,193
-Got any Rizla, babe?
-No.
138
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,404
Why don't you do your mum a favor,
go down to the shop and get some?
139
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:18,864
-Get them yourself.
-Oi.
140
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,700
What have I said to you
about speaking to Dean like that?
141
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:25,328
Three's a crowd, innit?
Why don't Dean's poodle go?
142
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,955
I'll tell you what.
143
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,874
Why don't you take this,
go and get some Rizlas...
144
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,876
get yourself some sweets?
And while you're gone...
145
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,963
we'll show your mother
how three can be good company.
146
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,383
Thanks, babe.
147
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,976
There we go.
148
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,145
Is that better?
149
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:07,329
If Dean treats your mum so bad,
why doesn't she leave him?
150
00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:09,456
Low self-esteem. That's her problem.
151
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,374
Fuck off.
Why would she have low self-esteem?
152
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,376
Eggsy's mum is well fit.
153
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,879
-No offense, bruv.
-It's all right.
154
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,132
One of these days,
I'm gonna smash his face in.
155
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,717
Are you mental, cuz?
156
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,553
He'd just get that lot to do you,
and then pretend he knew nothing--
157
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:26,932
...about it.
158
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,768
You think you can chat shit about us
and we won't do nothing...
159
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,062
just because our guvnor's
banging Eggsy's mum?
160
00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:34,064
Pretty much, yeah.
161
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:36,399
Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man.
162
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,484
It's not worth it.
163
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,237
You boys have outstayed your welcome.
164
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:41,404
Leave.
165
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,324
What?
166
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,910
I'm sorry about that, bruv.
167
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:50,789
Yeah.
168
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,123
Mug.
169
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,419
They weren't fucking worth it, boys.
170
00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,757
It's freezing. Why are we walking?
171
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,759
You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv?
172
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:05,428
Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car.
173
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,430
Shit!
174
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,813
Hold on, boys.
175
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,025
Hey, that's my fucking car!
176
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,444
Hey! Hey! Eggsy!
177
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,655
I swear, you want to fucking stop it!
178
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,366
You're a fucking dead man! Stop it!
179
00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:30,287
I'm gonna fucking have ya!
180
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,960
Floor it, Eggsy!
181
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:37,961
Floor it!
182
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,088
Wanker!
183
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,425
Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me.
184
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,594
Eggsy just stole my fucking car.
185
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,597
I've come out the pub,
he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face...
186
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,307
and he's drove off.
187
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,601
No, I can't have it!
He's disrespecting me.
188
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,978
And that means,
he's disrespecting you.
189
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:57,981
Hold up! What the...?
190
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:39,689
Dickhead.
191
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,652
Foxes are vermin, cuz.
192
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,236
Should've driven it over.
193
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,364
Should've done a lot of things.
194
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,199
I'll sort this. Get out of the car.
195
00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,868
I said, get out of the fucking car!
196
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,838
Eggsy, there is no such thing
as honor amongst thieves.
197
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,551
Now, you can start giving me some names
of the boys you were with...
198
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:10,553
or you go down.
199
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,764
It's up to you.
200
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,558
I want to exercise
my right to a phone call.
201
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,773
Well, I hope it's to your mum...
202
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:25,443
to tell her you're gonna be
18 months late for your dinner.
203
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,768
Customer Complaints, how may I help you?
204
00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:01,104
My name's Eggsy Unwin.
205
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:05,775
Sorry, Gary Unwin.
And I'm up shit creek.
206
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,193
I'm in Holborn police station...
207
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,029
and my mum said to call this number
if ever I needed help.
208
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,698
I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number.
209
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,199
Wait! Wait!
210
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,203
Oxfords not brogues.
211
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,331
Your complaint has been duly noted...
212
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,626
and we hope that we have
not lost you as a loyal customer.
213
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,056
Yeah.
214
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,975
You what?
215
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,352
216
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,812
Yeah.
217
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,149
Yes, I totally understand.
218
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:06,753
Eggs)'-
219
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:08,880
Would you like a lift home?
220
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:10,840
Who are you?
221
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,342
The man who got you released.
222
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:13,843
That ain't an answer.
223
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:16,346
A little gratitude would be nice.
224
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:20,850
My name is Harry Hart,
and I gave you that medal.
225
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,395
Your father saved my life.
226
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,818
So before you was a tailor,
was you in the army?
227
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,694
Like an officer.
228
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,363
Not quite.
229
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,323
So where was you posted,
Iraq or something?
230
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,742
Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.
231
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,370
But my dad saved your life, yeah?
232
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:44,916
The day your father died,
I missed something.
233
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,168
And if it weren't for his courage...
234
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,255
my mistake would have cost the lives
of every man present.
235
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,674
So I owe him.
236
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,885
Your father was a brave man.
237
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,888
A good man.
238
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,098
And having read your files...
239
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,684
I think he'd be bitterly disappointed
in the choices you've made.
240
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,018
You can't talk to me like that.
241
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,061
Huge l.Q.
242
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:07,105
Great performance at primary school.
243
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,357
And it all went tits up.
244
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,235
Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job.
245
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:14,070
You think there's a lot of jobs
going around here, do you?
246
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:15,738
Doesn't explain
why you gave up your hobbies.
247
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,491
First prize,
regional Under-10s gymnastics...
248
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,868
two years in a row.
249
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,245
Your coach had you pegged
as Olympic team material.
250
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,080
Yeah, well, when you grow up around
someone like my stepdad...
251
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,707
you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.
252
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,584
Of course. Always someone else's fault.
253
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,004
Who's to blame
for you quitting the Marines?
254
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,548
You were halfway through training,
doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
255
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,717
Because my mum went mental.
256
00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,678
Banging on about losing me
as well as my dad.
257
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,264
Didn't want me being cannon fodder
for snobs like you.
258
00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,850
Judging people like me
from your ivory towers...
259
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,227
with no thought about
why we do what we do.
260
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,272
We ain't got much choice. You get me?
261
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:52,108
And if we was born with the same
silver spoon up our arses...
262
00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:55,111
we'd do just as well as you.
If not, better.
263
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:58,114
What the fuck you doing here?
You taking the piss?
264
00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:01,075
Some more examples of young men...
265
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,952
who simply need a silver suppository?
266
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,621
No, they're exceptions. Come on.
267
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,247
Nonsense.
We haven't finished our drinks.
268
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,498
After you nicked his car...
269
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,958
Dean says you're fair game.
270
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,585
He don't give a shit what your mum says.
271
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,128
Listen, boys...
272
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,465
I've had a rather emotional day...
273
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:19,969
so whatever your beef with Eggsy is,
and I'm sure it's well-founded...
274
00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:21,804
I'd appreciate it enormously...
275
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,932
if you could just leave us in peace...
276
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,643
until I finish
this lovely pint of Guinness.
277
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,357
You should get out of the way, Granddad,
or you'll get hurt and all.
278
00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:33,983
He ain't joking. You should go.
279
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:41,991
Excuse me.
280
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,537
If you're looking for another rent boy,
they're on the corner of Smith street.
281
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:53,795
Manners...
282
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,297
maketh...
283
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,551
man.
284
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:09,811
Do you know what that means?
285
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,856
Then let me teach you a lesson.
286
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,743
Are we going to stand around here all day,
or are we going to fight?
287
00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:13,541
You fucking dirty, fucking dirty--
288
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:56,209
Sorry about that.
289
00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:58,127
Needed to let off a little steam.
290
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:02,799
I heard yesterday a friend of mine died.
291
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:05,009
He knew your father too, actually.
292
00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:09,639
Now, I do apologize, Eggsy.
293
00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:11,808
I shouldn't have done this
in front of you.
294
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,976
No, please!
I won't say nothing, I swear!
295
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:15,645
If there's one thing I can do,
it's keep my mouth shut.
296
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,146
-You won't tell a soul?
-Ask the feds.
297
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,314
I've never grassed anyone up.
298
00:23:18,481 --> 00:23:20,817
-Is that a promise?
-On my life!
299
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,823
Much appreciated, Eggsy.
300
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,741
You're right about the snobs.
301
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,160
But there, too, there are exceptions.
302
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,871
Best of luck with everything.
303
00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:52,432
In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine
movie premiered in Hollywood last night.
304
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:55,393
The story of the Internet billionaire's
rise to power...
305
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,354
is expected to be
this award season's hot ticket.
306
00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:01,524
One notable absence from the red carpet
was Iggy Azalea...
307
00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:05,194
still missing three days after she failed
to appear at her Oakland concert.
308
00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:06,904
No ransom has been demanded.
309
00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:09,031
Eggsy, just go, please,
because he's gonna...
310
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:11,701
No, please, don't hurt him!
311
00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:13,578
Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya!
312
00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:14,954
Shut the fuck up!
313
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:17,248
Who was with you in that fucking pub?
314
00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:19,542
I want to know the name of the geezer
you was with.
315
00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:21,544
-I wasn't with no one!
-Who was it?
316
00:24:21,711 --> 00:24:23,129
-I don't know what you're on about.
-Who was it?
317
00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:24,422
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
318
00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:25,715
Fucking tell me his name!
319
00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:28,217
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
320
00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:33,431
You listen to me!
321
00:24:33,598 --> 00:24:35,558
I want to know who you was with in that pub.
Do you understand?
322
00:24:35,725 --> 00:24:37,602
I want to know his fucking name!
323
00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:40,730
Because, I swear,
I'll rip your head off.
324
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:43,941
-Tell me!
-I don't know what you're fucking on about!
325
00:24:44,108 --> 00:24:45,151
Just tell him, Eggsy!
326
00:24:45,318 --> 00:24:47,111
Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle!
327
00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:48,571
I could kill you right now...
328
00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:51,240
and no one in the whole world
will notice!
329
00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:53,075
But I would.
330
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,077
I have enough evidence
on your activities...
331
00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:57,246
to have you looked up
for the rest of your life...
332
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,624
-Mr. Dean Anthony Baker.
-What the fuck?
333
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,417
So I suggest you leave the boy alone...
334
00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:05,171
or I shall be forced to deliver it
to the appropriate authorities.
335
00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:08,716
Eggsy, meet me at the tailor
I told you about.
336
00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:11,344
What the fuck's going on here?
337
00:25:13,304 --> 00:25:14,514
Eggsy, you fucking maggot!
338
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,890
Hey, we got a racer!
339
00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:17,517
Come here. Hey!
340
00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:19,352
Eggsy. you fucking--
341
00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:20,811
Come here, son!
342
00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:34,325
You wanker!
343
00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:36,118
I'll have you, son!
344
00:26:01,561 --> 00:26:03,563
I've never met a tailor before.
345
00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:05,731
But I know you ain't one.
346
00:26:09,694 --> 00:26:11,362
Come with me.
347
00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:21,330
Come on in.
348
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:28,045
What do you see?
349
00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:31,549
Someone who wants to know
what the fuck is going on.
350
00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:35,595
I see a young man with potential.
351
00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:38,681
A young man who is loyal.
352
00:26:39,849 --> 00:26:41,559
Who can do as he's asked.
353
00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:44,520
And who wants to do
something good with his life.
354
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,107
Did you see the film Trading Places?
355
00:26:48,858 --> 00:26:50,192
No.
356
00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:52,111
How about Nikita?
357
00:26:53,195 --> 00:26:54,530
Pretty Woman ?
358
00:26:55,448 --> 00:26:56,532
All right.
359
00:26:56,699 --> 00:26:59,702
My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon
has set you on a certain path...
360
00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:01,704
but you needn't stay on it.
361
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:06,792
If you're prepared to adapt and learn,
you can transform.
362
00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:09,211
Like in My Fair Lady.
363
00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,298
Well, you're full of surprises.
364
00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:15,259
Yes, like My Fair Lady.
365
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:19,597
Only, in this case, I'm offering you
the opportunity to become a Kingsman.
366
00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:21,599
A tailor?
367
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:23,392
A Kingsman agent.
368
00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,228
Like a spy?
369
00:27:26,437 --> 00:27:27,563
Of sorts.
370
00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:30,399
Interested?
371
00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:33,235
You think I've got anything to lose?
372
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:41,744
Since 1849...
373
00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:46,082
Kingsman tailors have clothed
the world's most powerful individuals.
374
00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:50,920
By 1919, a great number of them
had lost their heirs to World War One.
375
00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:55,091
That meant a lot of money
going uninherited.
376
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:59,261
And a lot of powerful men with a desire
to preserve peace and protect life.
377
00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:02,348
Our founders realized that they could
channel that wealth and influence...
378
00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:04,141
for the greater good.
379
00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:07,603
And so began our other venture.
380
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:10,773
An independent,
international intelligence agency...
381
00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:14,276
operating at the highest level
of discretion.
382
00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:16,570
Above the politics and bureaucracy...
383
00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:20,908
that undermine the integrity
of government-run spy organizations.
384
00:28:21,659 --> 00:28:23,994
The suit is a modern gentleman's armor.
385
00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:27,915
And the Kingsman agents
are the new knights.
386
00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,584
How deep does this fucking thing go?
387
00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:31,794
Deep enough.
388
00:29:16,464 --> 00:29:18,174
Shit, we're late.
389
00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:45,367
Your father had the
same look on his face.
390
00:29:47,036 --> 00:29:48,412
As did I.
391
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,207
Come on.
392
00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:55,044
Galahad.
393
00:29:55,211 --> 00:29:56,212
My code name.
394
00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:57,838
Late again, sir.
395
00:29:58,214 --> 00:29:59,507
Good luck.
396
00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:01,217
In you go.
397
00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:13,896
Fall in.
398
00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:18,943
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin.
399
00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:20,194
You are about to embark...
400
00:30:20,361 --> 00:30:23,072
on what is probably the most
dangerous job interview in the world.
401
00:30:23,906 --> 00:30:28,744
One of you, and only one of you,
will become the next Lancelot.
402
00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:32,748
Can anybody tell me what this is?
403
00:30:33,624 --> 00:30:35,251
-Yes?
-Body bag, sir.
404
00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:37,711
Correct. Charlie, isn't it?
405
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:38,796
Yes, sir.
406
00:30:38,963 --> 00:30:39,713
Good.
407
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,258
In a moment,
you will each collect a body bag.
408
00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:44,260
You will write your name on that bag.
409
00:30:44,593 --> 00:30:47,847
You will write the details
of your next of kin on that bag.
410
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:51,267
This represents your acknowledgment
of the risks that you are about to face...
411
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,728
as well as your agreement
to strict confidentiality.
412
00:30:54,895 --> 00:30:57,940
Which, incidentally, if you break,
will result in you...
413
00:30:58,232 --> 00:31:00,568
and your next of kin...
414
00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:02,611
being in that bag.
415
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,698
Is that understood?
416
00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:08,367
Excellent.
417
00:31:08,951 --> 00:31:10,244
Fall out.
418
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,962
Roxanne. But call me Roxy.
419
00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:22,131
-I'm Eggsy.
-"Eggy"?
420
00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:23,257
No, "Eggsy."
421
00:31:23,424 --> 00:31:24,758
Eggy?
422
00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:26,051
Where did they dig you up?
423
00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:28,304
You know we're not allowed
to discuss who proposed us.
424
00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:29,763
No need to bite his head off.
425
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:32,266
Charlie's only making conversation,
right, Charlie?
426
00:31:32,892 --> 00:31:34,101
I'm Digby.
427
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,061
Digby.
428
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:37,646
Eggy, this is Rufus.
429
00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:39,315
Rufus, Egg)!-
430
00:31:41,483 --> 00:31:44,278
So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge?
431
00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:45,446
Neither.
432
00:31:45,613 --> 00:31:46,906
-Saint Andrews?
-Durham?
433
00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,991
No, wait, I think we may have met.
434
00:31:49,158 --> 00:31:52,912
Did you serve me at the McDonald's
in Winchester service station?
435
00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:53,829
No.
436
00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:56,457
But if I had, I would have given you
an extra helping of secret sauce.
437
00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:59,752
It's definitely Saint Andrews.
438
00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:01,503
Just ignore them.
439
00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:02,755
You need a pen?
440
00:32:02,922 --> 00:32:03,672
Cheers.
441
00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:05,257
Amelia, isn't it?
442
00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:06,842
Amelia, Eggs)!-
443
00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:08,177
Hi, Eggs)!-
444
00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:10,262
Don't take any notice of those guys.
445
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,139
That's what I told him.
446
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:15,643
It's just scare tactics.
447
00:32:16,018 --> 00:32:17,519
Classic army technique.
448
00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:18,854
No one's gonna die.
449
00:32:22,983 --> 00:32:24,193
Shame.
450
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,530
Great. You don't know,
the CIA don't know.
451
00:32:28,697 --> 00:32:31,200
Nobody knows who this guy is?
452
00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:32,952
Fine.
453
00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:34,495
Seriously, it's fine.
454
00:32:34,662 --> 00:32:38,540
Well, it's not really fine,
but it's not why I'm here.
455
00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:42,169
Hell, man, you know me.
Money's not my issue.
456
00:32:42,336 --> 00:32:44,046
I could've retired
straight out of MIT...
457
00:32:44,213 --> 00:32:46,674
fucked off to some island,
let the business run itself.
458
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,593
Nobody told me
to try and save the planet.
459
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,387
I wanted to.
460
00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:55,265
Climate change research,
lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars...
461
00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:57,226
and you know why I quit?
462
00:32:57,685 --> 00:33:02,439
Because the last time I checked,
the planet was still fucked.
463
00:33:02,773 --> 00:33:05,275
Hence, my epiphany-
464
00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:08,195
Money won't solve this.
465
00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:11,031
Those idiots
who call themselves politicians...
466
00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:15,244
have buried their heads in the sand
and stood for nothing but re-election.
467
00:33:16,036 --> 00:33:20,374
So I spent the last two years
trying to find a real solution.
468
00:33:20,958 --> 00:33:22,876
And I found it.
469
00:33:23,961 --> 00:33:27,089
Now, if you really want to make
the world a better place...
470
00:33:27,256 --> 00:33:31,719
I suggest you open your fucking ears,
because I'm about to tell it to you.
471
00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:33,762
Go on, Mr. Valentine.
472
00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:35,431
I'm still listening.
473
00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:40,102
As long as you agree to all my terms.
474
00:34:28,317 --> 00:34:29,860
All right, no one panic. Listen to me.
475
00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:31,153
Stay calm.
476
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:32,696
Fuck.
477
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,366
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels!
478
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:37,618
Loo snorkels?
479
00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:38,619
Showerheads!
480
00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:40,662
Showerheads?
481
00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:42,289
She's right. Fucking go!
482
00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:46,710
Hey, hang about,
what's wrong with the fucking door?
483
00:36:10,419 --> 00:36:13,213
Congratulations on completing
your first task.
484
00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:16,133
Charlie, Roxy, well done.
485
00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:18,093
For those of you
who are still confused...
486
00:36:18,260 --> 00:36:20,429
if you can get a breathing tube
around a U-bend of a toilet...
487
00:36:20,596 --> 00:36:22,431
you have an unlimited air supply.
488
00:36:22,598 --> 00:36:25,100
Simple physics, worth remembering.
489
00:36:25,267 --> 00:36:28,562
Eggsy, well done for spotting
that was a two-way mirror.
490
00:36:28,729 --> 00:36:29,730
He's probably seen enough of them.
491
00:36:29,897 --> 00:36:32,774
Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks
off your faces.
492
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:36,778
Because as far as I'm concerned,
every single one of you has failed.
493
00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:40,157
You all forgot
the most important thing...
494
00:36:41,158 --> 00:36:42,451
teamwork.
495
00:36:56,632 --> 00:36:59,301
So much for classic army technique.
496
00:37:02,471 --> 00:37:03,722
35.
497
00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:05,766
105.
498
00:37:06,391 --> 00:37:08,727
That's it. That's it.
499
00:37:13,315 --> 00:37:13,982
Hello.
500
00:37:14,775 --> 00:37:15,817
Can I help you?
501
00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:19,363
Yes. I have a question
about anthropogenic force.
502
00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:23,951
Really? It's actually quite fascinating.
503
00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:27,496
My colleague died
trying to rescue you...
504
00:37:27,663 --> 00:37:29,373
and I'm sure you saw
how well trained he was...
505
00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:32,125
so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped
you and why they let you go.
506
00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:34,044
I have no idea what you're talking--
507
00:37:34,836 --> 00:37:37,089
I'm not supposed to say it, but it was-—
508
00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:39,174
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.
509
00:37:39,341 --> 00:37:40,634
Man up!
510
00:38:01,488 --> 00:38:03,407
Fuck that guy, whoever he is.
I'm gonna--
511
00:38:04,950 --> 00:38:06,910
He made me kill Professor Arnold.
512
00:38:07,077 --> 00:38:08,412
I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.
513
00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:09,621
Well, the good news is...
514
00:38:09,788 --> 00:38:11,581
we know the emergency
and surveillance system work.
515
00:38:11,748 --> 00:38:13,709
You know what's not good news?
516
00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:15,585
"My colleague died!"
517
00:38:15,752 --> 00:38:17,170
That's what he said!
518
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:19,673
This is an organization,
and they're all over us.
519
00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:21,675
-Whoever you spoke to--
-I told you...
520
00:38:21,842 --> 00:38:25,387
I made contact with the KGB, MI6,
Mossad and Beijing.
521
00:38:25,554 --> 00:38:26,972
They all insist he wasn't one of theirs.
522
00:38:27,389 --> 00:38:28,682
Beijing-
523
00:38:29,141 --> 00:38:33,353
So freaky now there's no recognizable name
for the Chinese secret service.
524
00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,981
Now, that's what you call
a secret, right?
525
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:38,734
You know what? Fuck it.
526
00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:40,777
We need to speed things up.
527
00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:42,279
Bring the product release forward.
528
00:38:42,446 --> 00:38:44,281
We're only halfway into production...
529
00:38:44,448 --> 00:38:45,866
and speeding it will cost a fortune.
530
00:38:46,033 --> 00:38:47,326
Do I look like I give a fuck?
531
00:38:47,576 --> 00:38:49,411
Just get it done.
532
00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:54,499
As some of you will
have learned last night...
533
00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:59,129
teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman.
534
00:38:59,296 --> 00:39:03,091
We're here to enhance your skills,
test you to the limit.
535
00:39:03,258 --> 00:39:06,678
Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy.
536
00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:08,680
Wherever you go, your dog goes.
537
00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:11,058
You will care for it. You will teach it.
538
00:39:11,224 --> 00:39:14,269
And by the time it's fully trained,
so will you be.
539
00:39:14,436 --> 00:39:17,022
Those of you who are still here,
that is.
540
00:39:17,189 --> 00:39:19,107
Do you understand?
541
00:39:19,316 --> 00:39:21,193
Choose your PUPPY-
542
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,030
A Doodle?
543
00:39:25,197 --> 00:39:26,031
What?
544
00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:27,866
They're gun dogs.
545
00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:29,534
Oldest working breed.
546
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,495
Easy to train.
547
00:39:32,537 --> 00:39:33,789
A pug?
548
00:39:35,165 --> 00:39:36,833
It's a bulldog, innit?
549
00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:40,629
It'll get bigger, though, won't it?
550
00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:46,676
Shit.
551
00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:52,015
His MRI shows no signs of concussion.
552
00:39:52,182 --> 00:39:55,143
No direct brain trauma at all.
553
00:39:55,477 --> 00:39:57,562
How much longer can he be out?
554
00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:58,897
That's the million-dollar question.
555
00:39:59,064 --> 00:40:00,899
We don't know
what he was exposed to in there.
556
00:40:01,066 --> 00:40:02,526
What about Harry's footage?
557
00:40:02,692 --> 00:40:04,361
It didn't stream to his home terminal.
558
00:40:04,528 --> 00:40:07,489
Encrypted and uncrackable.
559
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:08,865
If and when he comes around...
560
00:40:09,032 --> 00:40:11,660
you might want to have a word with him
about sharing his password.
561
00:40:11,827 --> 00:40:13,495
Is he gonna be all right?
562
00:40:14,663 --> 00:40:16,331
We need to have patience, Eggsy.
563
00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:18,083
But there's hope, okay?
564
00:40:18,667 --> 00:40:20,377
If I were you,
I'd concentrate on your training.
565
00:40:20,544 --> 00:40:22,712
Make it through the tests.
Make him proud.
566
00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:31,847
Come on, come on, come on!
567
00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:34,099
J.B., come on! Come on!
568
00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,187
I'm not coming last because of you.
569
00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:42,524
J.B., I'll shoot you!
Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you!
570
00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:45,444
Merlin said we're not
allowed to hold you.
571
00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:49,114
Bollocks.
572
00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:32,616
Water!
573
00:41:35,911 --> 00:41:37,412
-Come on, then!
-Eggsy, forget it!
574
00:41:37,579 --> 00:41:39,080
What's wrong, mate?
You can't take a joke?
575
00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:41,416
Seriously, you'll get thrown out,
and it's just not worth it.
576
00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:43,084
Maybe I don't give a fuck
if I get kicked out!
577
00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:44,586
Do it. Come on, you pleb.
578
00:41:44,753 --> 00:41:46,171
Charlie, fuck off!
579
00:41:48,298 --> 00:41:51,259
Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead.
580
00:41:52,594 --> 00:41:53,678
Come on, J.B.
581
00:41:53,845 --> 00:41:54,930
Come on, good boy.
582
00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:11,112
You have exactly one hour
to complete the test...
583
00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:12,822
starting now.
584
00:42:14,908 --> 00:42:16,660
New target, 800 meters.
585
00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:18,453
You know, its unbelievable.
You're still here...
586
00:42:18,620 --> 00:42:22,123
lingering like some
big, steaming shit that just won't flush.
587
00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:23,792
Roger that. Target identified.
588
00:42:23,959 --> 00:42:25,961
And how about you shut the fuck up?
589
00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:27,254
Positive discrimination...
590
00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:28,838
that's what it is.
591
00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:32,175
It's like those fucking state school kids
who get into Oxford on C grades...
592
00:42:32,342 --> 00:42:33,969
because their mum
is a one-legged lesbian.
593
00:42:34,135 --> 00:42:35,637
You don't know fuck all about my grades.
594
00:42:35,804 --> 00:42:37,681
Forgive me,
I'm sure you're highly educated.
595
00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:39,307
Fire when ready.
596
00:42:41,476 --> 00:42:43,478
How's that for positive discrimination?
597
00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:57,951
I want to thank you both
for listening...
598
00:42:58,118 --> 00:43:01,204
and I really, really appreciate
you travelling all this way...
599
00:43:01,371 --> 00:43:02,372
Your Royal Highness.
600
00:43:02,706 --> 00:43:04,332
And you, too, Prime Minister.
601
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:07,502
I think this is quite brilliant.
602
00:43:08,003 --> 00:43:10,505
It's absolutely brilliant.
603
00:43:11,298 --> 00:43:14,134
You are completely crazy.
604
00:43:16,177 --> 00:43:17,721
And as for you, Prime Minister
605
00:43:17,846 --> 00:43:20,056
I'm speechless you'd even consider this.
606
00:43:25,353 --> 00:43:28,315
-Don't touch--
-Sorry, Your Royal Highness.
607
00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:29,524
But you've got a big role to play...
608
00:43:29,691 --> 00:43:32,235
in getting the Scandinavian
region back on track.
609
00:43:32,569 --> 00:43:33,903
You're popular, inspirational...
610
00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:36,531
and you have the power
to galvanize the people.
611
00:43:36,698 --> 00:43:39,534
Now, whether you're on board or not...
612
00:43:39,701 --> 00:43:41,328
I'm going to have to insist...
613
00:43:41,494 --> 00:43:44,372
on getting you somewhere
I can ensure your safety.
614
00:43:44,873 --> 00:43:47,083
How about you, Prime Minister?
You in or out?
615
00:43:48,043 --> 00:43:49,544
Well, I think it's about time...
616
00:43:49,711 --> 00:43:54,382
that a politician did something
that actually made a difference.
617
00:43:54,883 --> 00:43:56,718
Too true.
618
00:43:56,885 --> 00:43:57,719
What?
619
00:43:57,886 --> 00:43:59,220
Take her away.
620
00:44:02,891 --> 00:44:03,725
Drink?
621
00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:06,227
Why not?
622
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:10,106
Guards! Help!
623
00:44:10,190 --> 00:44:10,940
Don't worry.
624
00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:12,567
No harm will come to the princess.
625
00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:17,197
Well, I'm a republican anyways,
so it really doesn't matter.
626
00:44:18,740 --> 00:44:19,532
Release the princess!
627
00:44:53,441 --> 00:44:54,609
Okay, you're done.
628
00:44:54,776 --> 00:44:56,277
Not so bad, right?
629
00:44:56,820 --> 00:44:58,655
Hardly felt a thing.
630
00:44:58,947 --> 00:45:00,448
Welcome aboard.
631
00:45:00,907 --> 00:45:02,742
Pleasure is all mine.
632
00:45:09,082 --> 00:45:10,083
Ever heard of knocking?
633
00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:12,627
Only when I'm casing a place to rob.
634
00:45:14,129 --> 00:45:15,296
Merlin said you wanted to see me?
635
00:45:16,589 --> 00:45:18,633
I hope J.B.'s training
is going as well as yours is.
636
00:45:18,925 --> 00:45:19,968
Sit.
637
00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:25,348
Congratulations on making it
to the final six candidates.
638
00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:28,017
Your test results were even better
than I could've hoped.
639
00:45:30,645 --> 00:45:31,813
Come in.
640
00:45:35,984 --> 00:45:38,653
Eggsy, I need to have
a private conversation.
641
00:45:38,820 --> 00:45:39,779
You're dismissed.
642
00:45:39,946 --> 00:45:41,656
Nonsense. Let him observe.
643
00:45:41,865 --> 00:45:43,491
Might learn a thing or two.
644
00:45:43,992 --> 00:45:45,994
As you wish. Take a look at this.
645
00:45:46,161 --> 00:45:47,954
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.
646
00:45:48,121 --> 00:45:48,955
Man up!
647
00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,332
Fucking hell!
648
00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:53,460
That is rank, Harry.
649
00:45:54,169 --> 00:45:55,503
You blew up his head?
650
00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,130
It's a bit much, innit?
651
00:45:57,297 --> 00:46:00,967
Actually, the explosion was caused
by an implant in his neck.
652
00:46:01,176 --> 00:46:02,677
Here, under the scar.
653
00:46:03,011 --> 00:46:05,513
Did my hardware
pick up the signal that triggered it?
654
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,182
Fortunately, yes.
655
00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,476
Unfortunately,
the IP address I traced it to...
656
00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:11,853
is registered
to the Valentine Corporation.
657
00:46:12,020 --> 00:46:14,856
That's not much of a lead.
He has millions of employees worldwide.
658
00:46:15,023 --> 00:46:17,192
That Richmond Valentine is a genius.
659
00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,989
Did you not see his announcement today?
660
00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:24,866
No.
661
00:46:28,912 --> 00:46:32,499
We each spend on average
$2,000 a year...
662
00:46:32,665 --> 00:46:34,542
on cell phone and internet usage.
663
00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:37,837
It gives me great pleasure
to announce...
664
00:46:38,004 --> 00:46:40,548
those days are over.
665
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:41,758
As of tomorrow...
666
00:46:41,925 --> 00:46:45,762
every man, woman and child
can claim a free SIM card...
667
00:46:45,929 --> 00:46:50,058
compatible with any cell phone,
any computer...
668
00:46:50,225 --> 00:46:54,395
and utilize my communications network
for free.
669
00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:55,897
Free calls...
670
00:46:56,064 --> 00:46:57,565
free internet...
671
00:46:57,732 --> 00:46:59,234
for everyone.
672
00:47:00,235 --> 00:47:01,569
Forever.
673
00:47:17,418 --> 00:47:20,088
Valentine's assistant
has the same implant scar.
674
00:47:20,588 --> 00:47:23,258
I think Mr. Valentine and I
should have a tête-à-tête.
675
00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:29,222
He's having a gala dinner next week.
676
00:47:29,389 --> 00:47:32,225
I'll get you an invitation.
You need to be careful, though.
677
00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:34,394
Since you've been out,
hundreds of VIPs have gone missing.
678
00:47:34,561 --> 00:47:36,938
No ransom notes,
exactly like Professor Arnold.
679
00:47:37,272 --> 00:47:40,984
Then I suggest you make my alias
somebody worth kidnapping.
680
00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:54,956
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
681
00:47:55,123 --> 00:47:56,291
What, don't like heights?
682
00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:57,458
Yeah, it's okay.
683
00:47:57,667 --> 00:48:01,296
I've done it before, which is probably why,
come to think of it.
684
00:48:02,589 --> 00:48:04,465
Hey, it's gonna be all right.
685
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,092
You're top of the class.
686
00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:09,304
Listen up.
687
00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:12,265
Your mission is to land in the target
without the radar detecting you.
688
00:48:12,432 --> 00:48:16,102
If I read you on the radar,
or you miss the target, you go home.
689
00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:17,645
Is that understood?
690
00:48:21,149 --> 00:48:23,776
Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds.
691
00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:26,529
We gotta go.
692
00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:37,665
Eggsy, I really don't think
I can do this.
693
00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:38,833
Of course you can't.
694
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,335
Head to the back
and I'll show you how, yeah?
695
00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:50,845
Eggsy, wait! Hang on!
696
00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:53,348
Roxy, just stop fucking about!
697
00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:55,850
Follow me, yeah?
698
00:49:10,031 --> 00:49:11,866
Come on!
699
00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,203
Roxy, it's now or never.
700
00:49:16,496 --> 00:49:17,705
Jump]
701
00:49:36,349 --> 00:49:37,684
Good girl, Rox...
702
00:49:37,850 --> 00:49:39,435
I'm glad you made it!
703
00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:53,908
Yeah!
704
00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:55,576
Come on!
705
00:49:57,954 --> 00:50:00,081
My, my, you're all very cheerful.
706
00:50:00,248 --> 00:50:02,417
Did you really think it was gonna be
that straightforward?
707
00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:04,961
Any idiot can read a heads-up display.
708
00:50:05,128 --> 00:50:08,798
A Kingsman agent needs to be able
to solve problems under pressure.
709
00:50:09,382 --> 00:50:12,885
Like what to do when one of
your group has no parachute.
710
00:50:14,262 --> 00:50:15,930
-What, no parachute?
-Shit!
711
00:50:16,305 --> 00:50:17,432
Who?
712
00:50:17,598 --> 00:50:18,433
Fuck!
713
00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:19,559
Which one?
714
00:50:19,726 --> 00:50:21,144
What do we do?
715
00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:22,729
I told you. Aim for the target.
716
00:50:22,895 --> 00:50:24,147
Come in under the radar.
717
00:50:24,313 --> 00:50:26,274
And I hope not to be scraping
one of you up.
718
00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:29,610
But if I do have to,
and you're inside the target...
719
00:50:30,111 --> 00:50:31,821
please know I'll be very impressed.
720
00:50:31,988 --> 00:50:33,406
-Fuck!
-Oh, shit!
721
00:50:37,285 --> 00:50:38,953
Everybody listen, I've got a plan!
722
00:50:40,663 --> 00:50:43,624
Pair off!
Grab the closest person to them.
723
00:50:46,294 --> 00:50:47,462
Rufus, come on!
724
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:48,588
Fuck!
725
00:50:49,464 --> 00:50:50,339
Rufus!
726
00:50:50,798 --> 00:50:51,966
Shit! I can't!
727
00:50:55,803 --> 00:50:56,471
Fuck!
728
00:50:57,847 --> 00:50:58,973
Thank God!
729
00:50:59,140 --> 00:51:00,975
Rufus, you wanker!
730
00:51:02,185 --> 00:51:03,603
Shit, we're an odd number now!
731
00:51:04,687 --> 00:51:05,772
Quick, make a circle!
732
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:07,648
Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it.
733
00:51:12,361 --> 00:51:14,447
We pull our cords one by one!
734
00:51:14,614 --> 00:51:15,823
When we know who's fucked...
735
00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:17,325
the person on their right grabs them.
736
00:51:19,118 --> 00:51:20,369
Okay, Eggsy.
737
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:21,829
Good plan, Eggs)'-
738
00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:24,165
You have 30 seconds.
Come on now, hurry.
739
00:51:24,332 --> 00:51:25,333
Me first!
740
00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:28,669
Fuck!
741
00:51:28,836 --> 00:51:30,171
Yes!
742
00:51:32,215 --> 00:51:34,634
Okay, me next.
743
00:51:36,636 --> 00:51:38,179
See you on the ground, boys.
744
00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:43,017
Now me.
745
00:51:46,896 --> 00:51:47,730
Fuck!
746
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:53,152
Roxy...
747
00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:54,987
no matter what happens now,
I've got you, all right?
748
00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:00,159
Okay, Eggsy.
749
00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:01,494
-Yours first, okay?
-Yep.
750
00:52:14,674 --> 00:52:15,550
Shit!
751
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:24,600
Shit!
752
00:52:26,727 --> 00:52:27,395
Shit!
753
00:52:29,397 --> 00:52:30,064
Rox!
754
00:52:33,860 --> 00:52:34,944
Fuck.
755
00:52:51,294 --> 00:52:53,462
Hugo, Digby.
756
00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:56,424
You don't land in the K,
you're not in the K.
757
00:52:56,591 --> 00:52:58,926
Rufus, you opened too soon.
758
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:00,428
You were all over the radar.
759
00:53:00,595 --> 00:53:02,430
All three of you,
pack your bags, go home.
760
00:53:04,557 --> 00:53:06,767
Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations.
761
00:53:07,101 --> 00:53:08,728
You set a new record.
762
00:53:08,895 --> 00:53:10,104
Opening at 300 feet...
763
00:53:10,271 --> 00:53:11,314
that's pretty ballsy.
764
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,983
Well done for completing another task.
Fall out.
765
00:53:15,109 --> 00:53:16,110
Sorry, sir.
766
00:53:16,277 --> 00:53:17,945
But why the fuck did you
choose me as the gimp?
767
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:19,322
Am I the expendable candidate?
768
00:53:19,488 --> 00:53:22,074
No,no,no.
You don't talk to me like that.
769
00:53:22,241 --> 00:53:24,452
You have a complaint, you come here
and you whisper it in my ear.
770
00:53:31,292 --> 00:53:34,003
You need to take
that chip off your shoulder.
771
00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:07,495
Mr. DeVere.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
772
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,831
I'm awfully sorry.
I seem to have my dates muddled up.
773
00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:13,876
No,no,no.
I cancelled the gala because of you.
774
00:54:14,210 --> 00:54:16,003
Anybody willing to donate that much...
775
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,339
deserves their own dinner.
Come in!
776
00:54:19,966 --> 00:54:20,967
Thank you.
777
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:25,346
Got to admit,
I was really intrigued to meet you.
778
00:54:25,513 --> 00:54:27,348
There aren't many billionaires
I don't know.
779
00:54:27,515 --> 00:54:28,516
I don't doubt it.
780
00:54:28,683 --> 00:54:31,686
And, obviously,
I had my people look into your affairs...
781
00:54:31,852 --> 00:54:33,562
and that's some pretty old money
you're from.
782
00:54:33,729 --> 00:54:34,563
How'd your folks make it?
783
00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:38,192
Property, mostly.
Property and the markets.
784
00:54:38,359 --> 00:54:40,403
Nothing questionable,
if that's your concern.
785
00:54:40,569 --> 00:54:43,322
Look, I'm just into finding out
what caliber person you are.
786
00:54:43,489 --> 00:54:44,323
I'm sure you understand that.
787
00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:45,908
I most certainly do.
788
00:54:46,075 --> 00:54:47,576
-Hope you're hungry.
-I'm famished.
789
00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:48,786
Good.
790
00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:49,870
Grab a seat.
791
00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:12,727
I'll have the Big Mac, please.
792
00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,061
Great choice.
793
00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:17,648
But nothing beats two cheeseburgers
with secret sauce.
794
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,608
Goes great with this '45 Lafite.
795
00:55:19,775 --> 00:55:20,776
A classic pairing.
796
00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:24,196
And may I suggest Twinkies
and a 1937 Chateau d'Yquem for pudding?
797
00:55:25,031 --> 00:55:26,407
I like it.
798
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:30,786
So, you want to donate to my foundation.
799
00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:34,290
You are aware that I wound things
down in that area, right?
800
00:55:34,457 --> 00:55:37,376
Climate change is a threat,
which affects us all, Mr. Valentine.
801
00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,671
And you're one of the few powerful men
who seems to share my concerns.
802
00:55:40,838 --> 00:55:43,507
No, I shut things down,
because I wasn't getting anywhere.
803
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:46,510
Every bit of research
kept pointing to the same thing.
804
00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:48,054
That carbon emissions
are a red herring...
805
00:55:48,220 --> 00:55:51,891
and that we're past the point of no return
no matter what remedial actions we take?
806
00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:53,893
You know your shit.
807
00:55:54,060 --> 00:55:57,646
I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance
of those less well versed in their...
808
00:55:58,189 --> 00:55:59,398
"shit."
809
00:56:00,441 --> 00:56:01,984
As Professor Arnold always said...
810
00:56:02,568 --> 00:56:04,987
"Humankind is the only virus
cursed to live...
811
00:56:05,154 --> 00:56:08,407
"with the horrifying knowledge
of its host's fragile mortality."
812
00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:12,203
You know, not a lot of people
knew about him.
813
00:56:14,914 --> 00:56:17,291
You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere?
814
00:56:20,961 --> 00:56:24,006
Nowadays, they're all a little
serious for my taste.
815
00:56:24,173 --> 00:56:25,132
But the old ones...
816
00:56:25,925 --> 00:56:27,176
Marvelous.
817
00:56:27,343 --> 00:56:29,595
Give me a far-fetched
theatrical plot any day.
818
00:56:29,762 --> 00:56:33,265
The old Bond movies. Oh, man!
819
00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:36,977
When I was a kid, that was my dream job.
820
00:56:37,770 --> 00:56:39,355
Gentleman spy.
821
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:43,067
I always felt the old Bond films
were only as good as the villain.
822
00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:47,571
As a child, I rather fancied a future
as a colorful megalomaniac.
823
00:56:49,448 --> 00:56:52,743
What a shame we both had to grow up.
824
00:56:57,373 --> 00:56:58,582
Bon appétit.
825
00:57:01,127 --> 00:57:04,088
Just give me a couple of days
to think over your proposal.
826
00:57:04,255 --> 00:57:05,840
I'll have my people
get in touch with yours...
827
00:57:06,006 --> 00:57:07,508
and it's all good.
828
00:57:07,675 --> 00:57:11,220
And thank you for such a happy meal.
829
00:57:16,559 --> 00:57:17,935
Well, want me to follow him?
830
00:57:18,102 --> 00:57:19,228
Nah.
831
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:21,981
I put a nano tracker gel in the wine.
832
00:57:22,148 --> 00:57:25,151
We'll know his every move
for the next 24 hours.
833
00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:27,862
Finally find out who he works for.
834
00:57:29,447 --> 00:57:31,407
Valentine didn't let me
out of his sight.
835
00:57:31,574 --> 00:57:34,076
All I got was this on the way in.
836
00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:41,292
South Glade Mission Church
is a hate group based in Kentucky.
837
00:57:42,168 --> 00:57:43,752
FBI have been monitoring them for years.
838
00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:45,713
But you think Valentine is a supporter?
839
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:49,175
No evidence yet of a direct connection,
but I'll keep looking.
840
00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:51,427
By the way...
841
00:57:51,594 --> 00:57:56,640
our ever-growing list of missing persons
now includes Scandinavian royalty.
842
00:57:57,057 --> 00:57:59,768
Royal Crown Princess Tilde.
843
00:58:01,854 --> 00:58:04,690
Just let me out, you psycho!
844
00:58:04,857 --> 00:58:07,693
I told you, you're free to go
any time you want.
845
00:58:07,860 --> 00:58:10,112
As long as you agree to my conditions.
846
00:58:10,529 --> 00:58:12,156
I don't agree...
847
00:58:12,323 --> 00:58:15,034
and I am never ever going to agree!
848
00:58:15,201 --> 00:58:16,452
Tough shit.
849
00:58:16,869 --> 00:58:17,870
Bitch.
850
00:58:20,039 --> 00:58:21,790
I want to speak to the British Council!
851
00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:26,837
The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries
has continued to grow in recent weeks...
852
00:58:27,004 --> 00:58:30,883
and world leaders are coming under
increasing pressure to provide answers.
853
00:58:31,050 --> 00:58:34,803
We are doing everything in our power
to find Princess Tilde.
854
00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:38,140
You know,
governments and security forces worldwide...
855
00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:42,019
are working together to find the person
behind these abductions.
856
00:58:42,186 --> 00:58:43,854
In other news,
people all over the world...
857
00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:48,400
continue to wait in line day and night
to get their free SIM cards.
858
00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:51,028
Mrs. P, did you get one?
859
00:58:51,195 --> 00:58:53,781
Yeah, I've been queuing up all day.
860
00:58:53,948 --> 00:58:58,202
This unprecedented giveaway
by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine...
861
00:58:58,369 --> 00:59:01,205
has already seen
over a billion cards distributed.
862
00:59:01,372 --> 00:59:02,581
At ease.
863
00:59:04,750 --> 00:59:07,169
So you thought we were done
for the day, huh?
864
00:59:07,962 --> 00:59:09,171
Well, we're not.
865
00:59:10,798 --> 00:59:12,800
-A party?
-Tonight, in London.
866
00:59:14,552 --> 00:59:16,887
-Who's this?
-Your target.
867
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:19,014
Your mission
is to use your NLP training...
868
00:59:19,181 --> 00:59:21,559
to win over the individual
on the photograph in your envelope.
869
00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:23,227
And when I say "win over"...
870
00:59:23,561 --> 00:59:25,187
I do mean in the biblical sense.
871
00:59:25,354 --> 00:59:26,522
Easy.
872
00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:29,483
Posh girls love a bit of rough.
873
00:59:29,650 --> 00:59:31,277
We'll see about that, yeah?
874
00:59:31,569 --> 00:59:33,362
We certainly will.
875
00:59:38,576 --> 00:59:39,535
Hi!
876
00:59:39,702 --> 00:59:42,997
Sorry, I just had to come over
and say, amazing eyes.
877
00:59:43,372 --> 00:59:44,582
Are you wearing color contacts?
878
00:59:44,748 --> 00:59:46,959
-No!
-You so are.
879
00:59:47,126 --> 00:59:49,503
Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious.
880
00:59:49,670 --> 00:59:51,547
I haven't heard anyone try that
since the noughties.
881
00:59:51,714 --> 00:59:52,840
Excuse me?
882
00:59:53,007 --> 00:59:53,882
"Negging-"
883
00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:58,012
Saying something negative to a pretty girl
in order to undermine her social value.
884
00:59:58,178 --> 01:00:00,222
It's supposed to make you
want to win his approval.
885
01:00:00,806 --> 01:00:03,851
Absurdly basic
neuro-linguistic programming technique.
886
01:00:04,018 --> 01:00:06,145
Is it just me, or does this champagne
taste a little bit funny?
887
01:00:06,312 --> 01:00:08,188
-It's an acquired taste, mate.
-I think it's just cheap.
888
01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:10,190
Get one of these instead.
They're delicious.
889
01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:13,068
If you're into seduction techniques,
this guy is textbook.
890
01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:15,988
See what he just did?
It's called an opinion opener.
891
01:00:16,155 --> 01:00:17,656
He got you talking
with a neutral question...
892
01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:19,533
got all of us involved
in the conversation...
893
01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:21,368
so that you craved individual attention.
894
01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:23,412
No, I'm just saying
the champagne tastes rank.
895
01:00:23,579 --> 01:00:25,331
Lady Sophie Montague-Herring.
896
01:00:25,497 --> 01:00:26,790
Phone call for you at reception.
897
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,667
-Be right back.
-We'll see you in a bit, yeah?
898
01:00:28,834 --> 01:00:30,210
See you in a bit.
899
01:00:30,377 --> 01:00:32,212
Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough.
900
01:00:32,379 --> 01:00:33,881
-Are you all right?
-No.
901
01:00:34,048 --> 01:00:35,090
Sorry to eavesdrop...
902
01:00:35,257 --> 01:00:38,802
but there's a much easier way
to guarantee getting someone home.
903
01:00:39,011 --> 01:00:40,554
Rohypnol.
904
01:00:42,723 --> 01:00:44,475
Or even something stronger.
905
01:01:02,034 --> 01:01:03,702
Who the fuck are you?
906
01:01:04,286 --> 01:01:05,704
Where am I?
907
01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:09,291
This knife...
908
01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:11,502
can save your life.
909
01:01:15,756 --> 01:01:16,757
Fuck!
910
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:19,968
My employer's got two questions
for you, Eggsy.
911
01:01:20,135 --> 01:01:22,012
What the fuck is Kingsman?
912
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:23,806
And who's Harry Hart?
913
01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:25,808
I don't know who the fuck that is!
914
01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:26,767
Shit!
915
01:01:26,934 --> 01:01:30,729
Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends
who gave me the same bullshit answer!
916
01:01:31,355 --> 01:01:32,272
Fuck!
917
01:01:32,731 --> 01:01:35,275
Just cut the fucking ropes, please!
918
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:36,485
Hey, Eggsy!
919
01:01:36,652 --> 01:01:37,986
Is Kingsman worth dying for?
920
01:01:40,197 --> 01:01:41,573
FUCK you!
921
01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:57,172
Congratulations.
922
01:01:57,339 --> 01:01:58,549
Bloody well done.
923
01:02:00,843 --> 01:02:02,428
How did the others do?
924
01:02:02,594 --> 01:02:04,388
Roxy passed with flying colors.
925
01:02:04,930 --> 01:02:07,182
Charlie's up next. Want to watch?
926
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,060
Yeah, all right.
927
01:02:12,563 --> 01:02:14,606
Is Kingsman really worth dying for?
928
01:02:14,773 --> 01:02:16,108
No, it fucking isn't!
929
01:02:16,275 --> 01:02:18,110
Shit, I'll tell you what you want.
Please!
930
01:02:18,277 --> 01:02:19,570
Chester King is Arthur.
931
01:02:19,737 --> 01:02:21,947
Arthur's head of a spy agency.
It's called Kingsman.
932
01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:23,657
-Get me out of here!
-Thank you, Charlie.
933
01:02:23,824 --> 01:02:25,159
Much appreciated.
934
01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:27,703
Come on!
That wasn't the fucking deal!
935
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,414
Fuck!
936
01:02:37,421 --> 01:02:39,715
I had such high hopes for you.
937
01:02:39,923 --> 01:02:41,842
You're a bloody disgrace.
938
01:02:42,009 --> 01:02:43,010
Arthur, I'm sorry.
939
01:02:43,844 --> 01:02:45,179
At least untie me.
940
01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:46,847
Untie yourself.
941
01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:50,684
Arthur, please.
942
01:02:52,019 --> 01:02:54,563
I'm the fucking son of the... Shit!
943
01:02:54,730 --> 01:02:57,232
Anyone? Hello?
944
01:02:57,399 --> 01:02:59,943
Galahad, Percival, congratulations.
945
01:03:00,235 --> 01:03:03,030
Your candidates have reached
the final stage of the testing process.
946
01:03:03,197 --> 01:03:06,742
As tradition allows,
you now have 24 hours to spend with them.
947
01:03:07,367 --> 01:03:10,537
Eggsy, you should know your
father reached this point.
948
01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:12,289
From now on...
949
01:03:12,748 --> 01:03:14,208
there are no safety nets, understood?
950
01:03:18,086 --> 01:03:18,962
Good. Dismissed.
951
01:03:22,925 --> 01:03:25,052
Charlie, time to go home.
952
01:03:25,219 --> 01:03:26,553
Fuck you.
953
01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:29,223
Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!
954
01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:32,392
"To pee or not to pee?"
955
01:03:34,645 --> 01:03:35,646
That was the headline...
956
01:03:35,729 --> 01:03:38,398
the day after I defused
a dirty bomb in Paris.
957
01:03:38,899 --> 01:03:40,567
"Germany, 1, England, 5."
958
01:03:40,734 --> 01:03:41,819
Missed that game.
959
01:03:41,985 --> 01:03:44,947
I was breaking up an undercover
spy ring at the Pentagon.
960
01:03:50,452 --> 01:03:51,745
My first mission.
961
01:03:51,912 --> 01:03:53,413
Foiled the assassination
of Margaret Thatcher.
962
01:03:54,915 --> 01:03:56,250
Not everybody would
thank you for that one.
963
01:03:56,667 --> 01:03:59,419
The point is, Eggsy,
nobody thanked me for any of them.
964
01:04:00,087 --> 01:04:03,632
Front page news on all these occasions
was celebrity nonsense.
965
01:04:03,924 --> 01:04:07,469
Because it's the nature of Kingsman
that our achievements remain secret.
966
01:04:07,928 --> 01:04:11,265
A gentleman's name should appear
in the newspaper only three times.
967
01:04:11,431 --> 01:04:13,767
When he's born, when he marries,
and when he dies.
968
01:04:13,934 --> 01:04:17,104
And we are, first and foremost,
gentlemen.
969
01:04:17,437 --> 01:04:18,772
That's me fucked then.
970
01:04:19,773 --> 01:04:21,650
It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb.
971
01:04:21,817 --> 01:04:22,818
Nonsense.
972
01:04:22,985 --> 01:04:25,487
Being a gentleman has nothing to do
with the circumstances of one's birth.
973
01:04:26,446 --> 01:04:28,282
Being a gentleman
is something one learns.
974
01:04:29,032 --> 01:04:30,868
Yeah, but how?
975
01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:33,036
All right, first lesson.
976
01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:34,621
You should've asked me
before you took a seat.
977
01:04:36,498 --> 01:04:37,624
Second lesson...
978
01:04:38,625 --> 01:04:39,960
how to make a proper martini.
979
01:04:40,961 --> 01:04:43,046
Yes, Harry.
980
01:04:45,632 --> 01:04:48,677
Goddamn it! This fucking hurts!
981
01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,680
You're the one who asked
for a biometric security system.
982
01:04:51,847 --> 01:04:52,973
What's wrong with a simple switch?
983
01:04:53,140 --> 01:04:54,141
A simple switch?
984
01:04:54,308 --> 01:04:57,978
This is an extremely dangerous machine.
985
01:04:58,145 --> 01:05:02,691
It should only be operated by someone
as responsible and sane as me.
986
01:05:02,900 --> 01:05:05,152
Bad shit could happen
if this falls into the wrong hands.
987
01:05:08,363 --> 01:05:10,032
We done here? Shit!
988
01:05:10,198 --> 01:05:12,826
No. Now this one.
989
01:05:12,993 --> 01:05:14,036
For the test at the church.
990
01:05:14,202 --> 01:05:16,038
This one just has a short range.
991
01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:17,748
A simple switch will do.
992
01:05:23,712 --> 01:05:26,590
So are you gonna teach me how to
talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?
993
01:05:26,757 --> 01:05:28,216
Don't be absurd.
994
01:05:28,508 --> 01:05:31,053
Being a gentleman has nothing
to do with one's accent.
995
01:05:31,219 --> 01:05:33,513
It's about being at ease
in one's own skin.
996
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,223
As Hemingway said,
"There is nothing noble...
997
01:05:35,390 --> 01:05:37,768
"in being superior to your fellow man.
998
01:05:38,185 --> 01:05:41,688
"True nobility is being superior
to your former self."
999
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,737
Now, the first thing every
gentleman needs is a good suit.
1000
01:05:48,904 --> 01:05:52,199
By which I mean, a bespoke suit.
Never off-the-peg.
1001
01:05:52,366 --> 01:05:54,743
And Kingsman suits
are always bulletproof.
1002
01:05:54,910 --> 01:05:57,704
So let's get you measured,
and then, whether you get the job or not...
1003
01:05:57,871 --> 01:06:02,250
you'll have a lasting and useful memento
of your time at Kingsman.
1004
01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:06,046
I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman
is completing his fitting.
1005
01:06:06,213 --> 01:06:08,382
Fitting Room Two is available.
1006
01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:12,552
One does not use Fitting Room Two
when one is popping one's cherry.
1007
01:06:13,637 --> 01:06:16,431
Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three
while we wait.
1008
01:06:26,817 --> 01:06:28,068
So we going up or down?
1009
01:06:28,235 --> 01:06:29,403
Neither.
1010
01:06:30,654 --> 01:06:31,655
Is this it?
1011
01:06:31,822 --> 01:06:34,908
Of course not.
Pull the hook on your left.
1012
01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:42,916
Oh, yes.
1013
01:06:43,417 --> 01:06:45,585
Very, very nice.
1014
01:06:48,630 --> 01:06:51,133
You're going to need a pair of shoes
to go with your suit.
1015
01:06:51,299 --> 01:06:55,429
An oxford is any formal shoe
with open lacing.
1016
01:06:55,595 --> 01:06:58,807
This additional decorative piece
is called broguing.
1017
01:06:58,974 --> 01:07:00,142
"Oxfords not brogues."
1018
01:07:00,308 --> 01:07:01,935
Words to live by, Eggsy.
1019
01:07:02,144 --> 01:07:04,771
Words to live by. Try a pair.
1020
01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:07,274
Your weapon scores are excellent,
by the way.
1021
01:07:08,442 --> 01:07:11,695
These you are familiar with,
and this is our standard issue pistol.
1022
01:07:11,862 --> 01:07:13,488
It's quite unique, as you'll see.
1023
01:07:13,655 --> 01:07:16,992
It also fires a shotgun cartridge
for use in messy close-range situations.
1024
01:07:17,159 --> 01:07:18,618
-How do they feel?
-Yeah, good.
1025
01:07:18,785 --> 01:07:20,120
Now do your very best impersonation...
1026
01:07:20,287 --> 01:07:21,955
of a German aristocrat's
formal greeting.
1027
01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:26,710
No, Eggsy.
1028
01:07:30,839 --> 01:07:32,090
That is sick.
1029
01:07:33,133 --> 01:07:35,093
In the old days,
they had a phone in the heel as well.
1030
01:07:35,260 --> 01:07:36,303
How do I get it back in?
1031
01:07:36,470 --> 01:07:40,348
Well, it's coated in one of the fastest
acting neurotoxins known to man...
1032
01:07:40,515 --> 01:07:42,017
so very carefully.
1033
01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:47,647
Now, I've had a lot of fun with this.
1034
01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:50,817
One of our finest examples
of chemical engineering.
1035
01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:53,487
A poison, harmless when ingested...
1036
01:07:53,653 --> 01:07:55,530
but at a time convenient to you...
1037
01:07:55,697 --> 01:07:59,701
can be remotely activated. Primed.
1038
01:08:01,161 --> 01:08:02,037
Lethal.
1039
01:08:03,371 --> 01:08:05,499
What about these? What do these do?
1040
01:08:05,874 --> 01:08:07,834
-Electrocute you?
-Don't be ridiculous.
1041
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:09,836
-It's a hand grenade.
-Shut up!
1042
01:08:10,003 --> 01:08:12,297
If you want to electrocute someone,
you'll need a signet ring.
1043
01:08:12,464 --> 01:08:14,549
A gentleman traditionally
wears the signet on his left hand.
1044
01:08:14,716 --> 01:08:17,677
But a Kingsman wears it on
whichever hand happens to be dominant.
1045
01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:19,179
Touch the contact behind the ring...
1046
01:08:19,346 --> 01:08:20,472
it delivers 50,000 volts.
1047
01:08:22,390 --> 01:08:24,851
And what about them?
What makes them so special?
1048
01:08:25,018 --> 01:08:26,019
Nothing.
1049
01:08:26,186 --> 01:08:28,897
That technology has caught up
with the spy world.
1050
01:08:29,898 --> 01:08:31,691
Put it back, Eggsy.
1051
01:08:34,069 --> 01:08:35,529
Perfect timing.
1052
01:08:35,695 --> 01:08:37,572
The gentleman's just finished.
1053
01:08:42,702 --> 01:08:44,037
Mr. DeVere!
1054
01:08:45,539 --> 01:08:47,207
What a coincidence.
1055
01:08:47,833 --> 01:08:50,710
You are totally the reason I'm here.
1056
01:08:50,919 --> 01:08:52,045
When you left my house...
1057
01:08:52,212 --> 01:08:56,007
I was thirsting for that dope-ass
smoking jacket you had on.
1058
01:08:56,174 --> 01:08:57,676
And since I'm going to Royal Ascot...
1059
01:08:57,843 --> 01:08:59,886
and, apparently,
you need one of these penguin suits...
1060
01:09:00,428 --> 01:09:01,596
here I am.
1061
01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:03,181
What are you doing here?
1062
01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:04,766
What's up, man?
1063
01:09:04,933 --> 01:09:06,059
Richmond Valentine.
1064
01:09:06,393 --> 01:09:09,396
This is my new valet.
I was just introducing him to my tailor.
1065
01:09:09,563 --> 01:09:12,399
Another coincidence. So am I.
1066
01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:14,860
Have you had any chance
to think further on my proposal?
1067
01:09:15,026 --> 01:09:16,027
Most definitely.
1068
01:09:16,236 --> 01:09:19,239
My people will be getting
in touch with you very soon.
1069
01:09:19,406 --> 01:09:20,866
I guarantee it.
1070
01:09:21,575 --> 01:09:22,909
A word of advice.
1071
01:09:23,243 --> 01:09:25,453
Ascot requires top hat.
1072
01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:29,583
I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters.
1073
01:09:30,417 --> 01:09:31,459
Saint James's.
1074
01:09:31,626 --> 01:09:32,878
"Lox" as in smoked fish?
1075
01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:35,755
As in, "locked up."
1076
01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:41,720
I have trouble understanding
you people sometimes.
1077
01:09:42,304 --> 01:09:44,389
You all talk so funny.
1078
01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:54,482
Gentlemen, would you look after him,
please?
1079
01:10:06,995 --> 01:10:08,288
Now this...
1080
01:10:08,455 --> 01:10:10,332
is a dope-ass top hat.
1081
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,295
Gazelle, let's go ascoting.
1082
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:18,006
Your hat looks fine, Gazelle.
1083
01:10:18,173 --> 01:10:21,009
Come on!
Don't make me late for the queen.
1084
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:24,429
Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late.
1085
01:10:24,596 --> 01:10:26,139
How far is Ascot?
1086
01:10:26,598 --> 01:10:27,641
How far?
1087
01:10:31,853 --> 01:10:33,146
Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir?
1088
01:10:33,647 --> 01:10:35,148
Sit down.
1089
01:10:40,362 --> 01:10:41,613
Pretty dog.
1090
01:10:42,030 --> 01:10:43,323
What's his name?
1091
01:10:43,490 --> 01:10:44,491
J.B.
1092
01:10:44,658 --> 01:10:46,826
-As in "James Bond"?
-No.
1093
01:10:47,118 --> 01:10:48,620
"Jason Bourne"?
1094
01:10:48,787 --> 01:10:50,789
No. "Jack Bauer."
1095
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,165
Oh!
1096
01:10:52,832 --> 01:10:53,833
Bravo.
1097
01:10:54,501 --> 01:10:55,627
It pains me to admit it...
1098
01:10:55,794 --> 01:10:58,672
but I think that one day,
you might be as good a spy...
1099
01:10:58,838 --> 01:11:00,298
as any of them.
1100
01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:09,015
Take it.
1101
01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:17,065
Shoot the dog.
1102
01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:25,156
This weapon is live.
1103
01:11:28,368 --> 01:11:29,244
Shoot the dog.
1104
01:12:08,033 --> 01:12:09,075
Give me the gun.
1105
01:12:20,420 --> 01:12:22,130
At least the girl's got balls.
1106
01:12:25,759 --> 01:12:26,760
Get out.
1107
01:12:27,427 --> 01:12:29,429
I knew you couldn't make it.
1108
01:12:32,724 --> 01:12:34,059
Go home.
1109
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:38,396
Merlin, send in Roxy, please.
1110
01:13:02,170 --> 01:13:05,173
Welcome to Kingsman...
1111
01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:07,258
Lancelot.
1112
01:13:30,615 --> 01:13:31,616
Mum!
1113
01:13:32,033 --> 01:13:33,159
Eggsy!
1114
01:13:33,368 --> 01:13:34,661
Oh, God. Where have you been?
1115
01:13:34,828 --> 01:13:36,830
I've been so worried about you.
1116
01:13:38,790 --> 01:13:42,043
Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown!
1117
01:13:47,841 --> 01:13:49,884
-Where is he?
-I'm fine.
1118
01:13:50,051 --> 01:13:51,719
Eggsy, please, just don't get involved.
1119
01:13:51,886 --> 01:13:53,555
I should never have left you
on your own.
1120
01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,141
This stops right now.
1121
01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:57,392
I'll be right back.
1122
01:13:57,559 --> 01:13:59,144
Eggs)'-
1123
01:14:01,521 --> 01:14:02,856
Oi, Dean!
1124
01:14:03,857 --> 01:14:05,692
Mugsy, so you're back.
1125
01:14:05,859 --> 01:14:07,735
What, you gone and nicked
a fucking taxi, now?
1126
01:14:07,902 --> 01:14:09,320
Yeah.
1127
01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:11,531
Can I have a word
about my mum's black eye?
1128
01:14:12,532 --> 01:14:14,242
You want to have a word with me,
you get out of that cab...
1129
01:14:14,409 --> 01:14:16,077
I'll knock you straight back down
on your fucking arse.
1130
01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:20,331
Tell your muppets to go inside,
then I'll get out.
1131
01:14:22,584 --> 01:14:24,502
Go on, lads. It'll be two hits.
1132
01:14:24,669 --> 01:14:26,713
Me hitting him, him hitting the floor.
1133
01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:29,549
Come on, then, you prick.
1134
01:14:29,716 --> 01:14:31,593
Let's see what you got.
Want a bit of me?
1135
01:14:31,759 --> 01:14:32,552
What are you doing?
1136
01:14:32,719 --> 01:14:33,595
No,no,no!
1137
01:14:33,761 --> 01:14:34,554
Get out of the fucking car!
1138
01:14:34,721 --> 01:14:36,598
What are you doing?
Where you going, you mug?
1139
01:14:36,764 --> 01:14:38,057
Go on, you got no bollocks!
1140
01:14:38,850 --> 01:14:40,852
Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum!
1141
01:14:41,019 --> 01:14:42,395
Come back when you've grown a pair!
1142
01:14:42,562 --> 01:14:43,438
Mugsy!
1143
01:15:06,336 --> 01:15:07,337
You throw away...
1144
01:15:07,504 --> 01:15:11,466
your biggest opportunity
over a fucking dog.
1145
01:15:12,467 --> 01:15:14,802
And then you humiliate me
by stealing my boss's car.
1146
01:15:15,053 --> 01:15:17,138
You shot a dog
just to get a fucking job.
1147
01:15:17,555 --> 01:15:18,556
Yes, I did.
1148
01:15:21,559 --> 01:15:25,438
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that
every time I take a shit!
1149
01:15:27,023 --> 01:15:29,526
You shot your dog and had it stuffed?
1150
01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:30,902
You fucking freak.
1151
01:15:31,069 --> 01:15:32,445
No, I shot my dog...
1152
01:15:32,612 --> 01:15:34,280
and then I brought him home
and continued to care for him...
1153
01:15:34,447 --> 01:15:36,866
for the next 11 years
until he died of pancreatitis.
1154
01:15:37,617 --> 01:15:40,245
-What?
-It was a blank, Eggsy.
1155
01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:43,081
It was a fucking blank.
1156
01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:45,250
Remember Amelia?
1157
01:15:45,416 --> 01:15:46,167
Yeah.
1158
01:15:46,334 --> 01:15:47,460
She didn't drown.
1159
01:15:47,627 --> 01:15:50,380
She works in our tech department in Berlin.
She's fine.
1160
01:15:50,547 --> 01:15:51,756
Limits must be tested...
1161
01:15:51,923 --> 01:15:54,551
a Kingsman only condones
the risking of a life to save another.
1162
01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:57,679
Like my dad saved your life
even though your fuck-up cost his.
1163
01:15:57,845 --> 01:15:59,514
Or have you got him
stuffed here and all?
1164
01:16:01,558 --> 01:16:04,644
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1165
01:16:10,441 --> 01:16:12,110
Harry, listen to this.
1166
01:16:12,277 --> 01:16:14,028
Valentine is at last
saying something of note.
1167
01:16:14,445 --> 01:16:16,698
Do you know what I love
about pen and paper?
1168
01:16:17,198 --> 01:16:19,701
Nobody can hack into this shit.
1169
01:16:20,118 --> 01:16:23,454
Our worldwide tour
was a complete success.
1170
01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:26,082
We have total coverall.
1171
01:16:26,249 --> 01:16:29,043
Like when all your numbers in bingo
are crossed out.
1172
01:16:29,210 --> 01:16:30,086
Bingo?
1173
01:16:30,253 --> 01:16:33,631
Bingo, the game.
You have played bingo, right?
1174
01:16:34,507 --> 01:16:36,301
Do I look like I play bingo?
1175
01:16:38,511 --> 01:16:39,554
Point is...
1176
01:16:40,221 --> 01:16:44,684
if our tests go well at the church tomorrow,
we are good to go.
1177
01:16:44,851 --> 01:16:47,353
South Glade Mission Church.
1178
01:16:48,271 --> 01:16:50,440
-Merlin, get the plane ready.
-Will do.
1179
01:16:50,607 --> 01:16:52,233
Harry, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna do whatever--
1180
01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:53,401
You should be.
1181
01:16:53,568 --> 01:16:55,987
You just stay right there.
I'll sort this mess out when I get back.
1182
01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:04,078
And I say to you...
1183
01:17:04,245 --> 01:17:05,496
bear witness!
1184
01:17:05,663 --> 01:17:08,249
Watch the news. Watch the news.
1185
01:17:08,416 --> 01:17:09,709
AIDS!
1186
01:17:10,168 --> 01:17:11,002
Floods!
1187
01:17:11,169 --> 01:17:13,296
The blood of the innocent, spilled!
1188
01:17:13,463 --> 01:17:18,635
And yet, there are those who doubt
this is the wrath of God.
1189
01:17:20,470 --> 01:17:27,143
Our filthy government condones
sodomy, divorce, abortion!
1190
01:17:27,310 --> 01:17:29,854
And yet, some still doubt...
1191
01:17:30,021 --> 01:17:33,900
this is the work of the antichrist!
1192
01:17:34,067 --> 01:17:38,946
You do not have to be
a Jew, a nigger, a whore...
1193
01:17:39,113 --> 01:17:41,866
or an atheistic, science-loving
evolution spouter...
1194
01:17:42,200 --> 01:17:43,660
Charming sermon.
1195
01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:45,495
Can you see Valentine anywhere?
1196
01:17:45,662 --> 01:17:47,080
So, my friends...
1197
01:17:47,246 --> 01:17:50,291
although he is a just God,
he is justly a vengeful one...
1198
01:17:50,458 --> 01:17:53,419
and there can be no turning back...
1199
01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:55,213
from the almighty wrath...
1200
01:17:55,380 --> 01:17:56,839
Are you sure we're out of range?
1201
01:17:57,090 --> 01:17:58,633
We're over 1,000 feet away.
What's wrong?
1202
01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:00,051
What if the calculations are wrong?
1203
01:18:00,218 --> 01:18:01,803
You just have to trust me.
1204
01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:07,475
...Jew, nigger, fag lovers,
and the devil is burning them...
1205
01:18:07,642 --> 01:18:08,935
for all eternity.
1206
01:18:09,102 --> 01:18:10,269
Would you excuse me?
1207
01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:12,105
Where are you going?
1208
01:18:12,939 --> 01:18:14,732
Hey! What's your problem?
1209
01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:17,735
I'm a Catholic whore...
1210
01:18:17,902 --> 01:18:21,489
currently enjoying congress out of wedlock
with my black, Jewish boyfriend...
1211
01:18:21,656 --> 01:18:24,200
who works in a military abortion clinic.
1212
01:18:24,784 --> 01:18:26,119
So, hail Satan...
1213
01:18:26,285 --> 01:18:28,287
and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
1214
01:18:31,666 --> 01:18:33,084
Oh, shit. He's leaving.
1215
01:18:33,251 --> 01:18:34,836
I'm starting the test now.
1216
01:18:35,294 --> 01:18:37,380
Let's hope enough of these freaks
have our SIM cards.
1217
01:18:40,174 --> 01:18:43,052
I kindly ask you to sit down,
my friend!
1218
01:18:43,219 --> 01:18:44,262
Just leave this church!
1219
01:18:44,429 --> 01:18:46,806
You just leave this church
like the infidel you are!
1220
01:18:49,350 --> 01:18:52,562
Satan cannot save you now!
You will eat your babies.
1221
01:18:52,729 --> 01:18:56,232
You will drown in the blood of the Lord!
1222
01:18:56,399 --> 01:18:57,859
He will not save you!
1223
01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:05,074
Holy fuck!
1224
01:19:06,826 --> 01:19:08,995
Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here.
1225
01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:52,997
Jeez! Fuck.
1226
01:19:53,873 --> 01:19:56,000
Galahad, can you hear me?
1227
01:19:56,417 --> 01:19:57,251
Harry!
1228
01:19:57,794 --> 01:20:00,171
Harry, what the heck is going on?
1229
01:20:01,339 --> 01:20:02,799
Could you turn the volume down, please?
1230
01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:06,093
I didn't expect it to be that effective.
1231
01:20:06,260 --> 01:20:07,386
What kind of response are we talking?
1232
01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:09,263
100 percent.
1233
01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:13,392
So, everyone's been affected,
whether they have a SIM card or not.
1234
01:20:13,810 --> 01:20:15,978
And we get the added benefit
of wiping out the Kingsman.
1235
01:20:16,604 --> 01:20:18,439
Not yet.
1236
01:21:13,411 --> 01:21:14,704
You need to see this.
1237
01:23:11,779 --> 01:23:13,614
What did you do to me?
1238
01:23:13,948 --> 01:23:15,574
I had no control.
1239
01:23:16,909 --> 01:23:18,369
I killed all those people.
1240
01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:21,539
I wanted to.
1241
01:23:21,706 --> 01:23:22,790
Clever, isn't it?
1242
01:23:22,957 --> 01:23:25,668
In simple terms,
it's a neurological wave...
1243
01:23:25,835 --> 01:23:27,378
that triggers
the centers of aggression...
1244
01:23:27,545 --> 01:23:29,255
and switches off inhibitors.
1245
01:23:29,797 --> 01:23:32,717
Transmitted through your nasty,
free SIM cards, I assume.
1246
01:23:35,970 --> 01:23:37,847
Do you know what this is like?
1247
01:23:38,055 --> 01:23:41,308
It's like those old movies we both love.
1248
01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:44,562
Now, I'm going to tell you
my whole plan...
1249
01:23:44,729 --> 01:23:47,982
and then I'm going to come up with
some absurd and convoluted way to kill you...
1250
01:23:48,149 --> 01:23:50,776
and you'll find an equally
convoluted way to escape.
1251
01:23:51,861 --> 01:23:53,320
Sounds good to me.
1252
01:23:54,071 --> 01:23:56,198
Well, this ain't that kind of movie.
1253
01:23:59,827 --> 01:24:02,329
No!
1254
01:24:10,463 --> 01:24:12,173
Is he dead?
1255
01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:14,800
That tends to happen
when you shoot someone in the head.
1256
01:24:15,009 --> 01:24:16,135
It feels good, right?
1257
01:24:16,594 --> 01:24:18,679
No, no, it does not feel good.
It feels fucking awful.
1258
01:24:18,846 --> 01:24:21,140
What? You just killed
how many people in that church?
1259
01:24:21,307 --> 01:24:22,266
This is one guy.
1260
01:24:22,433 --> 01:24:24,435
No, no, they killed each other.
1261
01:24:27,313 --> 01:24:29,231
Okay, send out the countdown clock.
1262
01:24:29,398 --> 01:24:32,068
This party starts tomorrow.
1263
01:25:06,727 --> 01:25:08,104
Arthur?
1264
01:25:10,231 --> 01:25:11,732
Are you there?
1265
01:25:12,024 --> 01:25:14,193
Sadly, I am.
1266
01:25:14,568 --> 01:25:18,030
Assemble the Kingsmen.
1267
01:25:21,784 --> 01:25:25,871
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1268
01:25:46,392 --> 01:25:48,769
I see a young man with potential...
1269
01:25:49,562 --> 01:25:52,231
who wants to do something
good with his life.
1270
01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:11,250
Arthur, Harry's dead.
1271
01:26:11,917 --> 01:26:14,336
Galahad is dead.
1272
01:26:14,503 --> 01:26:16,922
Hence, we have just drunk
a toast to him.
1273
01:26:17,590 --> 01:26:20,134
Well, then you know
what that psycho's doing.
1274
01:26:20,301 --> 01:26:22,928
How many people around the world
have got those SIM cards?
1275
01:26:23,095 --> 01:26:25,472
Valentine can send his signal
to any of them, all of them.
1276
01:26:25,639 --> 01:26:27,683
If they all go homicidal
at the same time then--
1277
01:26:27,850 --> 01:26:30,144
Indeed, and thanks
to Galahad's recordings...
1278
01:26:30,311 --> 01:26:32,938
we have Valentine's confession.
1279
01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:36,483
The intelligence has been passed on
to the relevant authorities.
1280
01:26:36,650 --> 01:26:37,985
Our work is complete...
1281
01:26:38,152 --> 01:26:42,615
and a most distinguished legacy
for our fallen friend, it is, too.
1282
01:26:43,449 --> 01:26:44,617
And that's it?
1283
01:26:45,784 --> 01:26:46,952
Come sit down, boy.
1284
01:26:50,331 --> 01:26:55,336
This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy.
1285
01:26:56,378 --> 01:26:59,632
And we only drink it
when we lose a Kingsman.
1286
01:27:00,299 --> 01:27:03,302
Galahad was very fond of you.
1287
01:27:05,471 --> 01:27:07,890
And on this occasion...
1288
01:27:08,057 --> 01:27:11,393
I think it's acceptable for us
to bend the rules a little.
1289
01:27:13,812 --> 01:27:14,980
Are these all Kingsmen?
1290
01:27:15,147 --> 01:27:17,483
Yes, they're founder members.
1291
01:27:18,859 --> 01:27:20,903
I want you to join me in a toast.
1292
01:27:23,155 --> 01:27:25,157
To Galahad.
1293
01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:27,660
To Galahad.
1294
01:27:32,206 --> 01:27:34,833
Harry says you don't like
to break rules, Arthur.
1295
01:27:35,334 --> 01:27:36,418
Why now?
1296
01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:37,836
You're very good, Eggsy.
1297
01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:41,590
Perhaps I will make you my proposal
for Galahad's position.
1298
01:27:42,508 --> 01:27:45,219
Provided, of course,
that we can see eye to eye...
1299
01:27:45,386 --> 01:27:47,513
on certain political matters.
1300
01:27:50,349 --> 01:27:51,892
Can you guess...
1301
01:27:53,018 --> 01:27:54,603
what this is?
1302
01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,438
I don't have to. Harry showed me.
1303
01:27:56,605 --> 01:27:58,107
You click it. I die.
1304
01:27:58,274 --> 01:28:00,067
I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit.
1305
01:28:02,027 --> 01:28:02,695
Bravo.
1306
01:28:03,362 --> 01:28:06,532
Valentine won you over, somehow.
1307
01:28:06,699 --> 01:28:09,535
Once he explained, I understood.
1308
01:28:09,702 --> 01:28:10,953
When you get a virus...
1309
01:28:11,245 --> 01:28:12,454
you get a fever.
1310
01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:16,625
That's the human body raising
its core temperature to kill the virus.
1311
01:28:16,792 --> 01:28:19,044
Planet Earth works the same way.
1312
01:28:19,211 --> 01:28:21,130
Global warming is the fever.
1313
01:28:21,297 --> 01:28:24,091
Mankind is the virus.
1314
01:28:24,258 --> 01:28:26,635
We're making our planet sick.
1315
01:28:26,802 --> 01:28:29,388
A cull is our only hope.
1316
01:28:29,555 --> 01:28:31,807
If we don't reduce
our population ourselves...
1317
01:28:31,974 --> 01:28:34,560
there is only one of two ways
this can go.
1318
01:28:34,727 --> 01:28:38,981
The host kills the virus,
or the virus kills the host.
1319
01:28:39,273 --> 01:28:40,149
Either way...
1320
01:28:40,316 --> 01:28:42,776
The result is the same.
1321
01:28:42,943 --> 01:28:44,570
The virus dies.
1322
01:28:45,654 --> 01:28:49,074
So Valentine's gonna take care
of the population problem himself.
1323
01:28:49,241 --> 01:28:51,744
Well, if we don't do something,
nature will.
1324
01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:56,248
Sometimes a culling is the only way
to ensure that this species survives...
1325
01:28:56,957 --> 01:28:59,084
and history will see Valentine...
1326
01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:01,503
as the man who saved
humanity from extinction.
1327
01:29:02,087 --> 01:29:05,424
And he gets to pick and choose
who gets culled, does he?
1328
01:29:05,591 --> 01:29:06,800
All his rich mates, they get to live...
1329
01:29:06,967 --> 01:29:09,470
and anyone he thinks is worth saving,
he's keeping them safe...
1330
01:29:09,636 --> 01:29:11,597
whether they agree with him or not.
1331
01:29:11,764 --> 01:29:13,932
And you, Eggsy.
1332
01:29:14,475 --> 01:29:16,435
In Harry's honor...
1333
01:29:16,602 --> 01:29:21,273
I am inviting you
to be part of a new world.
1334
01:29:23,359 --> 01:29:25,652
It's time to make your decision.
1335
01:29:32,534 --> 01:29:34,495
I'd rather be with Harry.
1336
01:29:35,120 --> 01:29:36,038
Thanks.
1337
01:29:36,789 --> 01:29:38,165
So be it.
1338
01:29:54,473 --> 01:29:57,726
The problem with us common types...
1339
01:29:57,893 --> 01:29:59,478
is that we're light-fingered.
1340
01:30:00,687 --> 01:30:02,398
Kingsman's taught me a lot...
1341
01:30:02,564 --> 01:30:03,816
but sleight of hand...
1342
01:30:04,483 --> 01:30:06,235
Yes, they're founder members.
1343
01:30:08,862 --> 01:30:10,155
I had that down already.
1344
01:30:12,491 --> 01:30:16,078
You dirty little fucking...
1345
01:30:16,245 --> 01:30:17,663
prick.
1346
01:30:51,947 --> 01:30:53,699
It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down.
1347
01:30:54,867 --> 01:30:56,410
It's verified.
1348
01:30:58,787 --> 01:31:01,373
Arthur's phone is receiving update
texts about getting to safety.
1349
01:31:01,540 --> 01:31:03,292
-We don't have a lot of time.
-What are you going to do?
1350
01:31:03,459 --> 01:31:05,586
The question is,
what are we going to do?
1351
01:31:05,752 --> 01:31:08,464
God knows who's in Valentine's pocket
and who's not.
1352
01:31:09,131 --> 01:31:10,632
We have no choice.
1353
01:31:11,717 --> 01:31:13,802
We are gonna have to deal
with this ourselves.
1354
01:31:17,222 --> 01:31:18,557
Follow me.
1355
01:31:37,451 --> 01:31:38,744
What the fuck is this?
1356
01:31:38,911 --> 01:31:40,746
I have no idea.
1357
01:31:41,747 --> 01:31:42,915
What you're playing with...
1358
01:31:43,081 --> 01:31:45,792
is a prototype personal
transatmospheric vehicle.
1359
01:31:45,959 --> 01:31:48,253
It was developed as part of
Reagan's Star Wars project.
1360
01:31:48,420 --> 01:31:51,340
It's pretty basic,
but it should still work.
1361
01:31:51,590 --> 01:31:53,967
We're gonna take out
one of Valentine's satellites.
1362
01:31:54,343 --> 01:31:56,803
We're gonna break the chain,
stop the signal.
1363
01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,639
It'll take him a couple of hours
to reroute it...
1364
01:31:59,306 --> 01:32:03,685
which buys us enough time for you
to get me into Valentine's mainframe...
1365
01:32:03,852 --> 01:32:05,646
so I can shut it down.
1366
01:32:05,812 --> 01:32:08,106
Lancelot, you're going to be using it.
1367
01:32:08,273 --> 01:32:09,650
Get into your halo suit.
1368
01:32:22,287 --> 01:32:24,039
Swedish Prime Minister,
requesting permission to land.
1369
01:32:30,045 --> 01:32:31,797
Permission granted.
1370
01:32:35,384 --> 01:32:37,886
-Please.
-Thank you.
1371
01:32:38,053 --> 01:32:40,138
-How many more are we expecting?
-Not many.
1372
01:32:40,305 --> 01:32:41,640
Most have their own bunkers.
1373
01:32:41,807 --> 01:32:45,143
I figure we're just getting
the really nervous ones.
1374
01:32:45,394 --> 01:32:47,396
Welcome, Prime Minister.
1375
01:32:48,689 --> 01:32:51,650
It seems the implant
can emit some kind of counter signal...
1376
01:32:51,817 --> 01:32:55,487
to ensure the wearer remains unaffected
by the waves from the SIM cards.
1377
01:32:55,654 --> 01:32:57,698
The waves that turn everyone
into a psycho killer.
1378
01:32:57,864 --> 01:33:00,409
Quite. But what he
probably didn't tell anyone...
1379
01:33:00,576 --> 01:33:04,830
is it can also super heat
their soft tissue at his command.
1380
01:33:04,997 --> 01:33:09,167
Valentine selected his chosen few
to get the countdown warning...
1381
01:33:09,334 --> 01:33:12,170
but he had to be sure they didn't blab
to the wrong people beforehand.
1382
01:33:12,337 --> 01:33:14,047
How does this help us right now?
1383
01:33:15,007 --> 01:33:16,008
It doesn't.
1384
01:33:16,383 --> 01:33:17,759
Roxy, here we go!
1385
01:33:30,689 --> 01:33:34,276
The higher you go,
the more the balloons expand.
1386
01:33:34,443 --> 01:33:36,278
When you reach
the edge of the atmosphere...
1387
01:33:36,445 --> 01:33:38,572
they'll explode.
1388
01:33:38,739 --> 01:33:40,741
You'll need to deploy your missile
just before that, okay?
1389
01:33:40,907 --> 01:33:42,242
Edge of the atmosphere.
1390
01:33:42,409 --> 01:33:45,704
And once you've deployed,
you'll need to release for descent, fast.
1391
01:33:46,705 --> 01:33:47,956
Good luck.
1392
01:33:50,292 --> 01:33:52,294
-You can do this, okay?
-Yeah.
1393
01:33:52,461 --> 01:33:55,255
Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend.
1394
01:34:17,736 --> 01:34:19,738
You're getting in
on Arthur's invitation.
1395
01:34:19,905 --> 01:34:21,114
You're gonna need to blend in.
1396
01:34:21,281 --> 01:34:22,407
I'm supposed to be Arthur?
1397
01:34:22,574 --> 01:34:25,577
His invitation is in his phone.
You give them this.
1398
01:34:25,744 --> 01:34:28,246
-Give his real name, Chester King.
-What about you?
1399
01:34:28,413 --> 01:34:29,831
I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here.
1400
01:34:30,916 --> 01:34:32,000
Is that gonna fit me?
1401
01:34:32,167 --> 01:34:34,670
A bespoke suit always fits.
1402
01:34:34,836 --> 01:34:36,630
Just be grateful
Harry had it made for you.
1403
01:34:37,589 --> 01:34:38,590
Get dressed.
1404
01:34:40,050 --> 01:34:41,093
What the fuck's wrong with them?
1405
01:34:41,426 --> 01:34:44,179
I don't know. Could have something to do
with the mass genocide.
1406
01:34:44,346 --> 01:34:46,264
Give me the mic.
1407
01:34:48,100 --> 01:34:49,643
Hey-oh!
1408
01:34:49,810 --> 01:34:52,729
Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello!
1409
01:34:52,896 --> 01:34:55,107
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
1410
01:34:55,273 --> 01:34:58,110
I just wanna remind you that today...
1411
01:34:58,276 --> 01:35:00,862
is a day of celebration.
1412
01:35:01,697 --> 01:35:05,200
We must put aside
all thoughts of death...
1413
01:35:05,367 --> 01:35:07,244
and focus on birth.
1414
01:35:08,328 --> 01:35:10,747
The birth of a new age.
1415
01:35:11,957 --> 01:35:16,920
We mustn't mourn those
who give their lives today.
1416
01:35:17,087 --> 01:35:19,047
We should honor their sacrifice...
1417
01:35:19,214 --> 01:35:21,216
Has she got my number to call me back?
I got a new phone.
1418
01:35:21,383 --> 01:35:24,553
...and their roles in saving
the human race.
1419
01:35:26,972 --> 01:35:30,642
We must put aside doubt and guilt.
1420
01:35:32,060 --> 01:35:35,605
You are the chosen people.
1421
01:35:37,232 --> 01:35:40,694
When folks tell their kids
the story of Noah's Ark...
1422
01:35:40,861 --> 01:35:41,820
is Noah the bad guy?
1423
01:35:41,987 --> 01:35:42,654
No!
1424
01:35:42,821 --> 01:35:44,823
Is God the bad guy?
1425
01:35:44,990 --> 01:35:45,657
No!
1426
01:35:45,824 --> 01:35:48,243
How about the animals
marching two by two?
1427
01:35:48,410 --> 01:35:49,202
No!
1428
01:35:49,369 --> 01:35:50,162
Of course not!
1429
01:35:51,288 --> 01:35:52,622
Yeah, that's it!
1430
01:35:52,789 --> 01:35:56,585
Let's turn those frowns upside down.
1431
01:35:56,752 --> 01:35:58,587
Eat, drink...
1432
01:35:58,754 --> 01:36:00,422
and Pam'!
1433
01:36:03,467 --> 01:36:06,011
And I will see you all in the new age.
1434
01:36:31,244 --> 01:36:33,371
Rox, it's me.
1435
01:36:33,872 --> 01:36:35,207
How's the view?
1436
01:36:38,043 --> 01:36:40,128
-Hideous
-Mine's pretty sweet.
1437
01:36:40,295 --> 01:36:43,215
-They made you one of these suits yet?
-No, not yet.
1438
01:36:43,381 --> 01:36:45,717
You've got something to
look forward to then.
1439
01:36:45,884 --> 01:36:48,470
We're coming up on Valentine's base.
Gotta go.
1440
01:36:49,930 --> 01:36:51,223
Good luck.
1441
01:36:58,897 --> 01:36:59,898
Looking good, Eggsy.
1442
01:37:02,567 --> 01:37:05,278
Feeling good, Merlin.
1443
01:37:10,575 --> 01:37:12,160
This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo...
1444
01:37:12,327 --> 01:37:14,746
requesting permission to land.
1445
01:37:17,749 --> 01:37:20,293
Permission is granted.
1446
01:37:23,964 --> 01:37:25,757
Fuck me.
1447
01:37:52,951 --> 01:37:55,412
Eggsy, we're on.
1448
01:38:10,135 --> 01:38:11,136
Chester King.
1449
01:38:12,137 --> 01:38:14,097
Mr. King, welcome.
1450
01:38:14,472 --> 01:38:18,268
I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's
strict no-weapons policy...
1451
01:38:18,435 --> 01:38:19,769
-but if you don't object...
-Of course.
1452
01:38:19,936 --> 01:38:21,146
Thank you.
1453
01:38:21,646 --> 01:38:23,773
Do you have any luggage?
1454
01:38:24,774 --> 01:38:28,194
Congratulations, Mycroft,
you just graduated from my pilot to my valet.
1455
01:38:28,820 --> 01:38:31,281
-You cheeky-—
-Understood?
1456
01:38:31,448 --> 01:38:32,699
Good.
1457
01:38:33,992 --> 01:38:35,619
Thank you.
1458
01:39:00,894 --> 01:39:05,523
Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online.
The clock is ticking.
1459
01:39:06,691 --> 01:39:09,402
And remember, try to blend in.
1460
01:39:09,569 --> 01:39:11,529
Would sir care for a drink?
1461
01:39:12,155 --> 01:39:13,365
Martini.
1462
01:39:13,531 --> 01:39:15,700
Gin, not vodka, obviously.
1463
01:39:15,867 --> 01:39:19,579
Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing
at an unopened bottle of Vermouth.
1464
01:39:20,205 --> 01:39:21,414
Thank you.
1465
01:39:24,209 --> 01:39:26,002
Merlin, are you clocking this?
1466
01:39:26,211 --> 01:39:28,254
Yes, I am. Stay focused.
1467
01:39:28,880 --> 01:39:31,049
Lancelot, you're doing great.
Not much further to go.
1468
01:39:31,758 --> 01:39:32,884
Yes, Merlin.
1469
01:39:34,386 --> 01:39:36,680
Eggsy, get me online now.
1470
01:39:37,597 --> 01:39:38,598
Yep, I'm on it.
1471
01:39:39,766 --> 01:39:41,893
Lancelot, you're approaching
your altitude limit.
1472
01:39:42,227 --> 01:39:44,020
Those balloons won't last much longer.
1473
01:39:44,896 --> 01:39:46,856
Prepare to engage missile.
1474
01:40:02,247 --> 01:40:03,456
Society's dead.
1475
01:40:03,915 --> 01:40:05,750
Long live society.
1476
01:40:06,751 --> 01:40:08,086
Amen to that.
1477
01:40:09,546 --> 01:40:11,589
-I'm Morten Lindström.
-Chester King.
1478
01:40:11,923 --> 01:40:13,258
How'd you get online? I couldn't.
1479
01:40:13,633 --> 01:40:16,594
It's a closed network, you see.
Pre-authorized connections only.
1480
01:40:20,807 --> 01:40:22,100
I've got a fix on the satellite.
1481
01:40:22,267 --> 01:40:23,393
Do you have the correct time?
1482
01:40:23,560 --> 01:40:24,769
I think I'm still in my last time zone.
1483
01:40:24,936 --> 01:40:26,312
Yeah, yeah. Let's see now.
1484
01:40:40,410 --> 01:40:41,411
Eggsy, I'm in.
1485
01:40:41,578 --> 01:40:42,662
Get your arse back to the plane, now.
1486
01:40:42,829 --> 01:40:44,414
-On my way.
-Lancelot, good luck!
1487
01:40:44,581 --> 01:40:46,750
Firing in 3...2...
1488
01:40:54,132 --> 01:40:55,133
Nice and slow.
1489
01:40:55,300 --> 01:40:56,468
Fuck are you doing here?
1490
01:40:56,634 --> 01:40:58,970
Well, my family were invited, obviously.
1491
01:40:59,137 --> 01:41:00,764
Now, get the fuck up! Slowly.
1492
01:41:01,973 --> 01:41:03,850
Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire!
1493
01:41:04,017 --> 01:41:05,602
That other balloon is gonna blow!
1494
01:41:05,769 --> 01:41:08,813
Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it.
Give me a second!
1495
01:41:10,690 --> 01:41:13,610
Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy!
1496
01:41:14,277 --> 01:41:15,320
V-Glass, zoom.
1497
01:41:15,487 --> 01:41:17,530
Oh, fuck! It's that young valet.
1498
01:41:21,659 --> 01:41:23,036
Son of a bitch.
1499
01:41:23,620 --> 01:41:24,704
Got it!
1500
01:41:34,839 --> 01:41:36,132
Oh, shit. Sound the alarm!
1501
01:41:38,676 --> 01:41:39,719
I'm not taking any chances.
1502
01:41:39,886 --> 01:41:41,387
Okay, you send out
the two-minute warning.
1503
01:41:41,554 --> 01:41:44,015
I'm starting the override.
All right, let's do this.
1504
01:41:45,350 --> 01:41:46,976
Countdown initiated.
1505
01:41:56,694 --> 01:41:58,363
-You see him?
-Right here.
1506
01:42:07,163 --> 01:42:08,414
Eggsy, take a left.
1507
01:42:09,207 --> 01:42:10,208
Two guards, up ahead.
1508
01:42:22,554 --> 01:42:23,847
Lancelot! Release now!
1509
01:42:34,899 --> 01:42:36,693
Eggsy, straight ahead, then right.
1510
01:42:37,068 --> 01:42:38,069
There's two more.
1511
01:42:41,781 --> 01:42:43,867
All right, everybody on your feet!
1512
01:42:44,033 --> 01:42:45,243
Countdown to V-day!
1513
01:42:45,410 --> 01:42:46,911
Welcome in the new age!
1514
01:42:55,295 --> 01:42:56,379
Flat spin.
1515
01:43:11,561 --> 01:43:14,397
Eggsy, next left,
down the narrow tunnel!
1516
01:43:23,156 --> 01:43:24,157
Here we go!
1517
01:43:24,324 --> 01:43:24,949
10...
1518
01:43:25,950 --> 01:43:27,285
9...
1519
01:43:27,785 --> 01:43:28,494
8...
1520
01:43:29,454 --> 01:43:30,121
7...
1521
01:43:31,372 --> 01:43:32,207
6...
1522
01:43:33,041 --> 01:43:34,125
5...
1523
01:43:34,709 --> 01:43:35,460
4...
1524
01:43:36,961 --> 01:43:37,712
3...
1525
01:43:37,879 --> 01:43:38,630
2...
1526
01:43:39,631 --> 01:43:40,506
1 !
1527
01:43:46,554 --> 01:43:48,389
Nice! Well done, both of you.
1528
01:43:49,140 --> 01:43:50,141
It's not working!
1529
01:43:50,308 --> 01:43:52,352
It's supposed to be working!
What the fuck?
1530
01:43:59,150 --> 01:43:59,817
Yes!
1531
01:43:59,984 --> 01:44:01,319
Well done, Rox. Good girl.
1532
01:44:04,697 --> 01:44:07,200
We've lost one of our satellites.
1533
01:44:16,751 --> 01:44:20,505
Oh, no, no.
There's no way I can hack past that.
1534
01:44:26,094 --> 01:44:27,095
What's going on?
1535
01:44:28,263 --> 01:44:29,347
Is there a problem?
1536
01:44:30,515 --> 01:44:31,849
Come on. There's no need for guns.
1537
01:44:32,016 --> 01:44:33,518
I'm just a pilot.
1538
01:44:36,521 --> 01:44:37,563
Fuck. Merlin!
1539
01:44:40,358 --> 01:44:41,943
Get in here!
1540
01:44:46,197 --> 01:44:47,365
Come on!
1541
01:44:50,910 --> 01:44:52,245
Let's get the fuck out of here!
1542
01:44:52,412 --> 01:44:53,413
We can't.
1543
01:44:53,579 --> 01:44:55,039
I can't get into Valentine's machine.
1544
01:44:55,206 --> 01:44:56,791
He's got biometric security.
1545
01:44:58,293 --> 01:45:01,587
You're gonna have to get in there and make
sure his hand never touches that desk.
1546
01:45:01,754 --> 01:45:03,298
Are you taking the fucking piss?
1547
01:45:03,464 --> 01:45:04,716
I'm afraid not.
1548
01:45:07,885 --> 01:45:08,886
Let's have that then.
1549
01:45:10,555 --> 01:45:11,889
This is mine.
1550
01:45:12,390 --> 01:45:14,309
I'll show you yours.
1551
01:45:31,659 --> 01:45:32,577
Good choice.
1552
01:45:35,288 --> 01:45:36,831
How long to re-link the satellite chain?
1553
01:45:36,998 --> 01:45:38,249
It'll take an hour, maybe two.
1554
01:45:38,416 --> 01:45:40,501
Bullshit! Just bring these two
closer together.
1555
01:45:40,668 --> 01:45:42,003
But that's not yours.
1556
01:45:47,675 --> 01:45:49,427
V-Glass, call E-man.
1557
01:45:50,261 --> 01:45:51,596
E, it's V.
1558
01:45:51,763 --> 01:45:53,765
Listen, man,
I got a little hiccup on this end.
1559
01:45:53,931 --> 01:45:54,932
I need to piggyback.
1560
01:45:55,099 --> 01:45:59,103
One of my satellites just went down,
but it's right next to one of yours.
1561
01:45:59,645 --> 01:46:01,105
You read my mind.
1562
01:46:01,773 --> 01:46:03,358
How long before you make that happen?
1563
01:46:06,444 --> 01:46:07,487
Go.
1564
01:46:11,657 --> 01:46:13,618
All right, we should be
coming back online.
1565
01:46:16,537 --> 01:46:17,455
10 percent.
1566
01:46:20,625 --> 01:46:21,376
Shit!
1567
01:46:21,542 --> 01:46:23,336
Eggsy, Valentine's using
someone else's satellite.
1568
01:46:23,503 --> 01:46:25,463
He's going to reconnect the chain.
1569
01:46:25,630 --> 01:46:27,048
It's going to take him no time at all.
1570
01:46:28,049 --> 01:46:29,133
It's at 20 percent.
1571
01:46:47,068 --> 01:46:50,321
Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you.
Get a move on!
1572
01:47:23,855 --> 01:47:25,231
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet?
1573
01:47:25,440 --> 01:47:27,066
Not yet, but he will be soon.
1574
01:47:27,233 --> 01:47:28,943
Good.
1575
01:47:41,873 --> 01:47:42,874
Merlin, I'm fucked.
1576
01:47:56,095 --> 01:47:57,096
As am I.
1577
01:47:57,263 --> 01:47:59,599
They're coming at me from both sides.
I'm out of options.
1578
01:48:00,057 --> 01:48:02,894
Rox, I need a favor.
1579
01:48:03,060 --> 01:48:04,103
Call my mum.
1580
01:48:04,270 --> 01:48:05,813
Tell her to lock herself away from Dean.
1581
01:48:06,606 --> 01:48:07,482
And the baby...
1582
01:48:09,108 --> 01:48:10,109
and tell her I love her.
1583
01:48:19,076 --> 01:48:20,328
For fuck's sake.
1584
01:48:24,665 --> 01:48:27,835
Merlin, remember those implants
you said were of no use to us?
1585
01:48:29,629 --> 01:48:30,796
Any chance you can turn them on?
1586
01:48:34,509 --> 01:48:35,301
All right.
1587
01:48:35,468 --> 01:48:37,929
My turn to play, Valentine.
1588
01:48:46,437 --> 01:48:47,605
Oh, no!
1589
01:48:47,772 --> 01:48:50,191
What the fuck is he doing?
I can't stop this.
1590
01:49:03,621 --> 01:49:04,664
Yes, please.
1591
01:49:08,334 --> 01:49:09,502
No!
1592
01:50:06,267 --> 01:50:08,352
Oh, my God!
1593
01:50:08,519 --> 01:50:10,521
That is fucking spectacular!
1594
01:50:10,688 --> 01:50:13,441
Merlin, you're a fucking genius!
1595
01:50:13,608 --> 01:50:16,777
What the fuck is happening out there?
1596
01:50:21,073 --> 01:50:22,366
Aren't you that princess
who went missing?
1597
01:50:22,533 --> 01:50:23,576
Can you get me out?
1598
01:50:24,201 --> 01:50:26,120
If I do, will you give me a kiss?
1599
01:50:26,287 --> 01:50:27,705
I've always wanted to kiss a princess.
1600
01:50:27,872 --> 01:50:29,874
If you get me out right now,
I'll give you more than just a kiss.
1601
01:50:32,126 --> 01:50:33,377
You motherfucker.
1602
01:50:33,544 --> 01:50:35,379
Did you really think
I was stupid enough...
1603
01:50:35,546 --> 01:50:37,715
to implant one of those
things in my own head?
1604
01:50:38,174 --> 01:50:39,717
What are you, fucking crazy?
1605
01:50:40,676 --> 01:50:42,970
All those innocent people killed
and for what?
1606
01:50:43,846 --> 01:50:46,682
You didn't stop shit!
1607
01:50:48,059 --> 01:50:50,061
Fine, I've looked the door.
What do you want me to do now?
1608
01:50:50,227 --> 01:50:53,064
As I said, put your daughter
in the bathroom and throw away the key.
1609
01:50:53,856 --> 01:50:56,233
It's still happening!
1610
01:50:56,400 --> 01:50:57,568
You're fucking insane!
1611
01:50:57,735 --> 01:50:58,861
Just do it.
1612
01:51:26,180 --> 01:51:27,515
Eggsy, the signal's started!
1613
01:51:27,682 --> 01:51:30,851
Get Valentine's hand off
that bloody desk now!
1614
01:51:31,018 --> 01:51:31,936
Sorry, love.
1615
01:51:32,353 --> 01:51:33,437
Got to save the world.
1616
01:51:33,604 --> 01:51:35,189
If you save the world...
1617
01:51:35,356 --> 01:51:37,024
we can do it in the asshole.
1618
01:51:38,275 --> 01:51:40,194
I'll be right back.
1619
01:51:41,612 --> 01:51:42,571
Good luck!
1620
01:51:49,370 --> 01:51:50,246
London.
1621
01:52:18,816 --> 01:52:19,775
Rio.
1622
01:52:35,833 --> 01:52:36,667
Get down!
1623
01:52:38,836 --> 01:52:39,670
You did it!
1624
01:52:49,263 --> 01:52:51,182
The glass is not gonna hold long.
1625
01:52:52,850 --> 01:52:54,477
You stay here.
1626
01:52:56,687 --> 01:52:57,855
Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there?
1627
01:52:58,189 --> 01:53:00,107
-Keep shooting, I'll find a route.
-Understood.
1628
01:53:16,665 --> 01:53:17,750
Holy fuck!
1629
01:53:36,268 --> 01:53:37,561
We're back up.
1630
01:53:38,437 --> 01:53:39,730
We're back up!
1631
01:53:46,737 --> 01:53:48,447
This is great!
1632
01:53:56,580 --> 01:53:57,414
Eggsy!
1633
01:53:57,581 --> 01:53:59,124
Fucking get on with it!
1634
01:53:59,291 --> 01:54:00,501
Kick his ass, Gazy!
1635
01:54:07,132 --> 01:54:09,927
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai!
1636
01:54:18,310 --> 01:54:20,771
Kill that motherfucker!
He killed all our friends!
1637
01:54:38,163 --> 01:54:40,165
Eggsy, the world is going to shit!
1638
01:54:49,550 --> 01:54:51,635
-Is he dead yet?
-Not yet!
1639
01:54:51,802 --> 01:54:53,888
Stop playing with your food!
1640
01:54:54,054 --> 01:54:55,055
Kill him!
1641
01:56:13,175 --> 01:56:14,551
Gazelle!
1642
01:56:16,387 --> 01:56:17,554
Gazelle!
1643
01:56:27,189 --> 01:56:28,899
Come on! Come on!
1644
01:56:31,902 --> 01:56:32,569
Kill him!
1645
01:56:50,212 --> 01:56:50,879
Hey!
1646
01:57:15,946 --> 01:57:17,448
Well done, son!
1647
01:57:18,782 --> 01:57:19,742
Yes!
1648
01:57:19,908 --> 01:57:21,076
Yes, Eggsy!
1649
01:57:21,243 --> 01:57:22,786
Well done, Eggsy!
1650
01:57:23,287 --> 01:57:24,455
And you, Lancelot.
1651
01:57:27,207 --> 01:57:29,793
I'm so sorry.
Mummy would never hurt you.
1652
01:57:30,419 --> 01:57:33,464
Mummy would never hurt you.
I'm so sorry.
1653
01:57:35,966 --> 01:57:36,967
Are you okay?
1654
01:57:40,763 --> 01:57:42,639
Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy.
1655
01:57:43,974 --> 01:57:45,059
He was right.
1656
01:58:00,491 --> 01:58:01,784
What's up, man?
1657
01:58:02,159 --> 01:58:05,496
Is this the part where you say
some really bad pun?
1658
01:58:06,997 --> 01:58:08,999
Well, it's like you said to Harry.
1659
01:58:12,169 --> 01:58:14,505
This ain't that kind of movie, bruv.
1660
01:58:16,006 --> 01:58:17,424
Perfect.
1661
01:58:38,320 --> 01:58:39,488
Eggsy, where are you going?
1662
01:58:39,655 --> 01:58:41,782
There's no need for champagne.
We got loads in the plane.
1663
01:58:49,039 --> 01:58:50,124
Did you save the world?
1664
01:58:50,707 --> 01:58:52,167
Yes, I did.
1665
01:58:53,502 --> 01:58:56,296
So, you gonna come in?
1666
01:58:57,047 --> 01:58:58,549
Yes, I am.
1667
01:59:04,012 --> 01:59:05,889
Merlin, the cell's locked.
How do I get in?
1668
01:59:08,183 --> 01:59:09,726
26-25.
1669
01:59:14,064 --> 01:59:16,650
Merlin, you're the guvnor.
1670
01:59:18,861 --> 01:59:21,238
You owe me, Eggsy.
1671
01:59:26,869 --> 01:59:27,911
Eggsy?
1672
01:59:33,917 --> 01:59:35,586
Oh, my word.
1673
02:00:22,799 --> 02:00:25,636
Michelle, turn that shit off.
It's doing my nut in.
1674
02:00:26,637 --> 02:00:28,138
I rather like that song.
1675
02:00:28,680 --> 02:00:30,265
Leave it on, eh, Mum?
1676
02:00:34,019 --> 02:00:35,938
Mugsy's back.
1677
02:00:36,063 --> 02:00:38,106
You've finally come
to have that word with me, have you, son?
1678
02:00:38,857 --> 02:00:40,150
Or are you gonna run away again...
1679
02:00:40,317 --> 02:00:41,902
and pretend you're going to court,
dressed like that?
1680
02:00:42,361 --> 02:00:43,737
Oh, you mean this?
1681
02:00:45,280 --> 02:00:46,573
No.
1682
02:00:47,199 --> 02:00:50,494
I know this bloke who's just taken over
a tailor shop on Savile Row.
1683
02:00:51,578 --> 02:00:53,163
He's given me a job, Mum.
1684
02:00:53,872 --> 02:00:55,165
It comes with a lot of perks.
1685
02:00:56,541 --> 02:00:57,876
Including a house.
1686
02:00:59,044 --> 02:01:00,879
Come and live with me there, Mum.
1687
02:01:01,463 --> 02:01:02,547
Come on.
1688
02:01:02,714 --> 02:01:03,423
Sit down, you.
1689
02:01:04,841 --> 02:01:07,010
Only place she'll be visiting
is you in fucking hospital.
1690
02:01:07,177 --> 02:01:08,971
-Do you hear?
-Just leave him alone, Dean!
1691
02:01:09,137 --> 02:01:11,390
Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe.
1692
02:01:12,849 --> 02:01:14,142
All right.
1693
02:01:14,309 --> 02:01:15,852
That's it, do as Mummy says.
1694
02:01:16,019 --> 02:01:18,855
Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours,
and knock up a nice chicken costume.
1695
02:01:19,022 --> 02:01:20,399
It'll suit you, you mug.
1696
02:01:22,651 --> 02:01:25,445
As a good friend once said...
1697
02:01:26,738 --> 02:01:27,864
"Manners...
1698
02:01:29,783 --> 02:01:30,742
"maketh...
1699
02:01:33,328 --> 02:01:34,329
"man."
1700
02:01:35,205 --> 02:01:37,541
-Dean?
-Shut the fuck up.
1701
02:01:37,708 --> 02:01:40,127
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners
up your fucking--
1702
02:01:46,091 --> 02:01:46,967
So...
1703
02:01:47,342 --> 02:01:51,346
are we gonna stand around here all day,
or are we gonna fight?
115644
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