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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:37,179
Barnacle Bill
3
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LLOYDS
4
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:03,779
H M S Lutine
5
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:12,258
Man: Award of Lloyd's Medal
to Captain William Horatio Ambrose,
6
00:02:12,421 --> 00:02:14,321
master of the ship Arabella.
7
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His vessel having suffered serious damage
at night in the English Channel,
8
00:02:18,661 --> 00:02:22,338
Captain Ambrose, by his coolness,
courage, and fine seamanship,
9
00:02:22,501 --> 00:02:26,338
was able to save the lives of all passengers
and crew under his command,
10
00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:30,618
after which, refusing offers of assistance,
he succeeded single-handed
11
00:02:30,781 --> 00:02:33,538
in bringing the wreck
of his vessel safely to land.
12
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,418
Just one more, Captain.
13
00:02:50,581 --> 00:02:52,898
Captain, I'm from "The Daily Mirror. "
- And I'm from "The Daily Telegraph. "
14
00:02:53,061 --> 00:02:56,979
I'm sorry, gentlemen. I've already promised my story
to the "Sandcastle Mercury. "
15
00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:05,779
Watch where you're going, Nelson.
Lost the other eye?
16
00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:16,339
Captain Ambrose?
I'm Peters, "Sandcastle Mercury. "
17
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,218
So, you've managed to shake off the opposition.
18
00:03:18,381 --> 00:03:21,019
First time an Ambrose ever had to dodge a press gang.
19
00:03:21,220 --> 00:03:23,499
Yes.
Well, what are you having, Captain?
20
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:27,019
- Uh... - Oh, but of course.
Harry, a large rum, please.
21
00:03:31,980 --> 00:03:35,098
That's a trim piece.
Go well in my cabin.
22
00:03:35,261 --> 00:03:37,299
Sorry, sir. Not for sale.
23
00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:51,538
It's yours.
A small token of my admiration.
24
00:03:51,701 --> 00:03:56,738
Oh, no, no. I'd much prefer to- - Oh, you can clap me
in irons, Captain, but I won't take no for an answer.
25
00:03:56,901 --> 00:03:59,698
I'm an old sailor myself and
I can appreciate what you did.
26
00:03:59,861 --> 00:04:02,419
I shall treasure it.
Thank you.
27
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:05,060
Shall we sit down, Captain?
28
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:10,459
Ambrose: You'll join me.
- Peters: Oh, thank you.
29
00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:15,138
By the way, your check from the paper.
- Thank you.
30
00:04:15,301 --> 00:04:20,779
I suggest we begin this story
with something about your great family tradition.
31
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:23,178
The Ambroses have always
gone to sea, haven't they?
32
00:04:23,341 --> 00:04:27,019
Always. As far back as we can trace.
33
00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:31,139
And, in fact, even farther.
34
00:04:37,580 --> 00:04:42,219
Ambrose: From the dawn of time,
we have always moved in nautical circles.
35
00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:58,898
Armada!
36
00:04:59,061 --> 00:05:02,298
Ambrose: All throughout history,
on every great naval occasion,
37
00:05:02,461 --> 00:05:04,699
we have made our presence felt.
38
00:05:06,068 --> 00:05:09,661
Armada!
39
00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:19,618
Ambrose: Another ancestor of mine
sailed with Captain Cook.
40
00:05:19,781 --> 00:05:23,059
He was the first white man to set foot
on the Fiji Islands.
41
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,178
Ambrose: He was much liked by the natives.
42
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,779
Ambrose: Then there was my great-grandfather.
He was one of Nelson's officers
43
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,500
and spent years an der See.
44
00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:43,178
Hi! Main gaff goes up!
45
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:58,458
Ambrose: My grandfather was captain of a windjammer.
46
00:05:58,621 --> 00:06:02,579
During the great hurricane of the Virgin Isles,
he took the wheel himself.
47
00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:15,778
My father was gunnery officer
aboard HMS Incompatible in 1916.
48
00:06:15,941 --> 00:06:17,498
Down one.
49
00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:19,999
Ambrose: He fell at Jutland.
- Fire!
50
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:34,378
Hence our family motto,
Omnes per Mare.
51
00:06:34,541 --> 00:06:36,939
I'm afraid my Latin-
-"All at sea. " - Ah.
52
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:40,858
And, of course, you had a distinguished
naval career yourself, Captain.
53
00:06:41,021 --> 00:06:44,898
"Distinguished"?
I think "distinctive" is the better word.
54
00:06:45,061 --> 00:06:49,418
I can truthfully say I stood out
from every other sailor of my time,
55
00:06:49,581 --> 00:06:52,539
right from the days when I was a cadet at Dartmouth.
56
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:57,700
There goes Midshipman Queasy
57
00:06:58,780 --> 00:07:00,818
Can't even wait 'til we get out of harbor.
58
00:07:00,981 --> 00:07:04,098
Worst case I've ever known.
I'm afraid there's no future for the boy in the Navy.
59
00:07:04,261 --> 00:07:07,939
With his family record?
We'll have to find him something.
60
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:13,139
Ambrose: I was posted to HMS Standfast,
the training ship in the Midlands.
61
00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:16,979
But a sailor like me wasn't
cut out to be an instructor.
62
00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:33,098
Then came the war, and I had the honor
of being selected by the Admiralty
63
00:07:33,261 --> 00:07:35,979
to undertake certain secret trials.
64
00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:42,579
During those six years, I had experience
of almost every type of ship in His Majesty's Navy.
65
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:48,419
Corvettes, destroyers, minesweepers, aircraft carriers,
they were all alike to me.
66
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,500
Turning green, I'm afraid.
67
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:55,700
We'll double the dose.
68
00:07:59,540 --> 00:08:02,618
Sorry, Captain, gone five bells.
Gotta set you adrift.
69
00:08:02,781 --> 00:08:06,058
That nonsense.
It beats me how you fellows stand for it.
70
00:08:06,221 --> 00:08:09,099
Well, there's not many of us made like you, sir.
More's the pity.
71
00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:19,539
And thanks again.
- My privilege, Captain.
72
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:22,559
Cheerio.
73
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:31,458
Where now?
74
00:08:31,621 --> 00:08:35,258
Well, I'm afraid we haven't got a London office.
What about a cup of tea?
75
00:08:35,421 --> 00:08:38,419
Tea?
Follow me.
76
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:43,486
CITY & COUNTIES BANK LTD
77
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:53,539
Kindly get me a couple of glasses.
78
00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:57,219
Come along, man. Come along.
Look lively.
79
00:08:57,660 --> 00:09:03,858
I, uh... we don't have glasses here.
- Nonsense.
80
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:06,379
What do you do when somebody faints?
81
00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:18,479
There, you see?
82
00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:21,839
That'll do for the other.
83
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:36,300
Thank you.
84
00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:47,060
Where was I?
85
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,738
Oh, your war record.
- Oh, yes.
86
00:09:49,901 --> 00:09:53,899
I was still doing trials for the Admiralty
when the war ended.
87
00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:59,498
I was kept on the strengths
for further experiments until last year.
88
00:09:59,661 --> 00:10:01,778
Then I got my bowler hat.
89
00:10:01,941 --> 00:10:05,538
I must inform you, sir, that these tables
are only for the use of the clients of the bank.
90
00:10:05,701 --> 00:10:09,058
That's all right. I have an account here.
- For the proper conduct of their business.
91
00:10:09,221 --> 00:10:11,220
Oh, very well, very well.
92
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:19,019
As I was saying, I found myself
on the beach with my bowler hat.
93
00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:22,738
Then one day, I saw that advertisement
in your paper.
94
00:10:22,901 --> 00:10:27,499
For five thousand pounds,
the answer to all my dreams.
95
00:10:28,459 --> 00:10:34,039
One look at her photograph, and I was on the
telephone clinching the deal. There you are.
96
00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:41,138
For the price of my modest savings,
at last, a command of my own.
97
00:10:41,301 --> 00:10:44,259
The Arabella.
- The Arabella? -
98
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,980
The Arabella.
99
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:21,299
Telscope automatique Harrison
1 penny
100
00:11:30,260 --> 00:11:33,859
Ambrose: Of course, I had little idea then
of the rough waters that lay ahead.
101
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:38,378
I hadn't the experience I have today
of the battle of life ashore.
102
00:11:38,541 --> 00:11:41,099
Just a simple sailor, in fact.
103
00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:53,059
Excuse me.
- Mummy, there's a man here with all his clothes on.
104
00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:58,378
There's a man hanging round these huts.
105
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,540
A man?
106
00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:05,558
Run along, child.
107
00:12:05,722 --> 00:12:08,738
This is not a right-of-way, you know.
- I'm sorry, I didn't know.
108
00:12:08,901 --> 00:12:12,218
It's purely for the use of people
hiring my bathing house.
109
00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:14,380
May I ask if you wish to hire one?
- Oh, no, no, no.
110
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,297
That's not why I'm here at all.
- I thought not.
111
00:12:17,461 --> 00:12:19,499
It's perfectly obvious why you are here.
112
00:12:20,180 --> 00:12:23,180
You will kindly leave at once.
- Very well, madam.
113
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,420
SOLD
114
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,859
SANDCASTLE PIER
115
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,018
Four, sir?
- Four, please.
116
00:12:56,181 --> 00:12:59,499
One shilling.
Let the two little ones go in together.
117
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:07,215
That's right, squeeze 'em up, give 'em a bit of
fun. One, two... three, four. Thank you, sir.
118
00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:19,619
What do you fancy for the big race, Tommy?
119
00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:25,340
- One, please.
- Thank you, sir.
120
00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:05,258
Excuse me.
Are you one of the officers here?
121
00:14:05,421 --> 00:14:08,457
If so, I'd like you to break off action.
122
00:14:08,621 --> 00:14:12,577
Are you, uh...
- The new captain. The new owner.
123
00:14:12,741 --> 00:14:14,740
Oh, I didn't expect you so soon.
124
00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:17,297
My name is Figg. I'm in charge here.
125
00:14:17,461 --> 00:14:20,778
I don't wish to find fault as soon as I arrive, Mr. Figg,
126
00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:24,098
but wouldn't a salute be appropriate?
- Salute?
127
00:14:24,261 --> 00:14:27,058
You'd better send us a wire next time.
We'll have you piped aboard.
128
00:14:27,221 --> 00:14:30,779
Where are the master's quarters?
- You could ask the quartermaster.
129
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:35,419
Perhaps you would be good enough to tell me.
- Well, that's the office along there.
130
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:37,859
The old shed this side the Crazy Cottage.
131
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:42,919
I'd like to meet the crew. Will you be good enough to
muster them on the quarterdeck in 10 minutes' time?
132
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:45,938
It's almost 4:00.
They'll be wantin' their tea.
133
00:14:46,101 --> 00:14:47,458
I shan't keep them long.
134
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:51,018
Oh, and I'd like you to include the man on the gate,
if you can arrange a relief for him.
135
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:54,299
- Is that all?
- For the present. Carry on, Number One.
136
00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:33,099
Attractions de la semaine:
Artie White and his brinies
137
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:37,698
And so with the assistance
of my good friend Goldilocks here,
138
00:15:37,861 --> 00:15:41,898
I shall now demonstrate that the secret
of the Great Houdini lives on.
139
00:15:42,061 --> 00:15:44,060
That's a lovely head of skin you've got there, sir.
140
00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:46,738
Of course, he's a very
good-looking fella, this, you know.
141
00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:49,099
The poor girl's Yul Brynner.
142
00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:51,578
There's no call for personal remarks.
143
00:15:51,741 --> 00:15:53,538
I'm very sorry, sir.
144
00:15:53,701 --> 00:16:01,041
Of course, he ain't really bald, we know that.
He's just got a tall face. A tall face.
145
00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:06,139
And you won't get out of that in a hurry.
- Get out of what?
146
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,058
This?
147
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:15,819
Now, come back, sir. Don't
get naughty. Keep your hair on.
148
00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:22,498
Sir, on behalf of the pier company,
I would like to apologize-
149
00:16:22,661 --> 00:16:26,738
Hello, hello, hello. What's this, another
volunteer?
150
00:16:26,901 --> 00:16:30,858
Gangway for a naval officer there.
Step right up here, Admiral.
151
00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:35,058
Man: Go on, Jack. Have a go.
Come on, be a sport. That's it.
152
00:16:35,221 --> 00:16:37,819
Give him a big hand, ladies and gentlemen.
153
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:42,338
Howdy, Admiral.
And how did you leave the wives?
154
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,401
Still in ignorance, I hope?
Aha, now, then.
155
00:16:44,564 --> 00:16:48,699
I want you to take this cord
and tie up me ankles and hands, got it?
156
00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:51,779
Now, tight as you like. Don't mind me.
157
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,278
Oh, he knows what he's up to, this one.
158
00:16:55,442 --> 00:16:59,339
Proper ropey type, eh?
That's it. Now me hands.
159
00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:03,858
Ooh, look at them medal ribbons.
160
00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:06,618
'Course, he should've had the Croix de Guerre, too, you know.
161
00:17:06,781 --> 00:17:10,419
But with a face like his, they couldn't find
a French admiral to kiss him.
162
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:14,618
Right, now this time I'm
gonna make it hard for meself,
163
00:17:14,781 --> 00:17:17,659
as the bloke said when he
fell into the cement mixer.
164
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:22,458
That's it. I want you to pop me into
this sack and tie up me top knot.
165
00:17:22,621 --> 00:17:24,298
Right.
166
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:26,380
Night-night, all.
167
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:30,258
Oh, innit dark in here?
- Anybody got a candle?
168
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:33,979
Now, you done, Admiral?
- All fast. - Eh?
169
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:37,097
Finished.
- Oh, ta, muchly.
170
00:17:37,261 --> 00:17:39,699
Well, give my love to the wives
and all the little barnacles.
171
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,739
Music, maestro, please.
172
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,579
The men are waiting outside, sir.
- Very good.
173
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:17,398
That's my candy floss.
174
00:18:17,562 --> 00:18:19,818
Is that how they do it in the Navy, sir?
175
00:18:19,981 --> 00:18:22,658
I take it you were never
in the service, Mr. Figg.
176
00:18:22,821 --> 00:18:26,097
I never wanted to be.
I've spent all my life in a dredger,
177
00:18:26,261 --> 00:18:29,219
and if you're going to run this pier like a battleship,
I should be sorry I ever left it.
178
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,979
Well, I am going to run her like a battleship.
179
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,338
All the best piers in this country
are run naval-style,
180
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:38,698
and under my command,
Sandcastle Pier is going to be no exception.
181
00:18:38,861 --> 00:18:40,979
I shan't be satisfied until everything is-
182
00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:46,138
until everything is pier-shape
and Blackpool fashion.
183
00:18:46,301 --> 00:18:50,058
Now, was any man here in the Royal Navy?
- - Tommy was.
184
00:18:50,221 --> 00:18:51,978
- Who? - Thomas, sir.
185
00:18:52,141 --> 00:18:54,699
- Where is he?
- There he is, sir.
186
00:18:55,226 --> 00:18:57,828
Man: Oi, Tommy!
187
00:19:06,481 --> 00:19:08,393
Oh, so you're Thomas.
- Sir?
188
00:19:08,556 --> 00:19:09,551
- The gate man.
189
00:19:09,786 --> 00:19:12,017
No, sir.
Chief deck chair hand. We take turns on the gate, sir.
190
00:19:12,181 --> 00:19:14,779
You won't be taking
any more turns on the gate, Thomas.
191
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:20,938
Now, I can see we have a long, hard voyage ahead of us
before we can take a real pride in our pier.
192
00:19:21,101 --> 00:19:23,458
And I don't want to hear any
grumbling once we're underway.
193
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:28,699
Not from me, you won't. I'm off
back to my dredger. Have a nice trip.
194
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,420
Bring us back a parrot!
195
00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:38,378
Anyone else want to sign off?
Good.
196
00:19:38,541 --> 00:19:42,298
Now, I want this to be a happy pier
because a happy pier is an efficient pier,
197
00:19:42,461 --> 00:19:43,578
and vice versa.
198
00:19:43,741 --> 00:19:47,100
You won't find me-
- Here, Popeye, where's the ladies?
199
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:04,857
And you'll retain your
present ranks and rates of pay.
200
00:20:05,021 --> 00:20:06,898
That is, with one exception.
201
00:20:07,061 --> 00:20:10,039
Thomas, you're what is known as a fiddler.
- Yes, sir.
202
00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:12,138
Well, at least you're honest.
203
00:20:12,301 --> 00:20:15,978
And as you're the only man here who's served in
Her Majesty's Navy, I'm giving you another chance.
204
00:20:16,141 --> 00:20:20,502
I'm appointing you Chief Officer.
Well?
205
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:22,937
Uh, thank you, sir.
206
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:27,139
Carry on. Captain's rounds, Number One.
- Captain's rounds, sir.
207
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:33,239
You've made a nice start, sir.
Long time since our customers had any fun.
208
00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:39,739
Amusement arcade, sir.
209
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:44,339
Not much fun to be had in here.
210
00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:49,178
She used to run up and down the pier.
- She shall again.
211
00:20:49,341 --> 00:20:51,318
Where's the chief engineer?
- You've just got rid of him.
212
00:20:51,482 --> 00:20:53,258
Mr. Figg? But he was mate.
213
00:20:53,421 --> 00:20:57,379
He was most things, sir, that'd
give him the chance for a fiddle. I wasn't the only one.
214
00:20:57,580 --> 00:20:59,618
Well, where's the second engineer?
He's due for promotion.
215
00:20:59,781 --> 00:21:01,758
The second engineer's a
kid of 15 with the measles.
216
00:21:01,922 --> 00:21:04,458
Well, somebody's got to mend these machines.
- There's nothing wrong with them, sir.
217
00:21:04,621 --> 00:21:06,818
It was the police had 'em close down.
- The police?
218
00:21:06,981 --> 00:21:11,257
There's an old lady on the council, Mrs. Barrington, she
started creating, said the kids were gambling on them.
219
00:21:11,421 --> 00:21:13,898
Gambling?
"Coin returned for win. "
220
00:21:14,061 --> 00:21:16,260
It surely can't be a gamble if
you just get your money back.
221
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:18,618
Ah, but when you win, the ball stays in play.
222
00:21:18,781 --> 00:21:21,058
You get another win, and out comes the last fella's penny.
223
00:21:21,221 --> 00:21:23,818
Now, according to the council, that's gambling.
224
00:21:23,981 --> 00:21:28,857
Young Reggie Skinner, the second engineer, he's a marvel.
I've seen him with as much as ninepence on the trot.
225
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:30,578
Smart boy.
226
00:21:30,741 --> 00:21:35,779
I think we'll have these machines
put back in action, Number One.
227
00:21:36,820 --> 00:21:40,979
That might be a bit dodgy, sir. The council
we've got here, a proper bunch, they are.
228
00:21:41,259 --> 00:21:45,338
This is my pier, Number One, and no little tin-pot
dictator on the council is going to tell me how to run her.
229
00:21:45,501 --> 00:21:48,738
Captain Ambrose? I'm Crowley, chief tin-pot dictator.
230
00:21:48,901 --> 00:21:51,299
Oh, Mr. Crowley, how do you do?
What was that?
231
00:21:51,620 --> 00:21:55,538
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist it.
You see, I happen to be mayor of Sandcastle.
232
00:21:55,701 --> 00:21:59,859
It's all right, Captain. Don't apologize.
We all feel that way about people who tell us where to get off.
233
00:22:00,140 --> 00:22:02,778
I heard you'd arrived,
thought I'd come along to wish you well.
234
00:22:02,941 --> 00:22:06,058
Everything in order, I hope?
Quite satisfied? No complaints?
235
00:22:06,221 --> 00:22:08,978
Well, to be quite frank, she is a bit more run-down
than I'd expected.
236
00:22:09,141 --> 00:22:10,858
Very true. I couldn't agree more.
237
00:22:11,021 --> 00:22:16,097
The fact is, since they put me in office, I just haven't
had the time to attend to all my private interests.
238
00:22:16,261 --> 00:22:18,458
It was a question of neglecting
them or the community.
239
00:22:18,621 --> 00:22:23,097
And that's why I decided to sell the pier at what
is really, I venture to think, quite a bargain price.
240
00:22:23,261 --> 00:22:25,459
But, of course, my dear fellow, if you're not satisfied-
241
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,978
Oh, no, no, no. I'm sure she'll suit me very well.
- Well, anything I can do to help at any time-
242
00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:32,078
Well, there is the question of the machines.
243
00:22:32,242 --> 00:22:35,138
Oh, the gambling machines.
I know how you feel.
244
00:22:35,301 --> 00:22:39,857
I did resist the order, but I'm afraid there's
a strong feeling in the council chamber about,
245
00:22:40,021 --> 00:22:42,739
well, turning Sandcastle
into another Monte Carlo.
246
00:22:43,060 --> 00:22:46,938
And, of course, in my position,
one can't press one's own interests too hard.
247
00:22:47,101 --> 00:22:50,419
Well, as I'm not a member of the council,
perhaps I'm in a better position to put up a fight.
248
00:22:51,220 --> 00:22:53,658
Oh, take warning, Captain.
You're heading for trouble there.
249
00:22:53,821 --> 00:22:56,618
Well, I must get along.
I've got a meeting at the planning committee.
250
00:22:56,781 --> 00:22:58,418
Any queries, just give me a tinkle.
251
00:22:58,581 --> 00:23:00,500
Thank you, I will. -
252
00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:04,618
Your luggage has arrived, sir. Where would you
like it taken? Kings Arms or the Georgian Dragon?
253
00:23:04,781 --> 00:23:06,418
Neither. Let it stay aboard.
254
00:23:06,581 --> 00:23:08,659
You're not going to live on the pier, sir?
255
00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:11,458
Do I look the type who'd sleep ashore?
256
00:23:11,621 --> 00:23:15,018
But- but where, sir? There's not enough room
in that office to swing a cat-o'-nine-tails.
257
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,579
We'll have to use some initiative,
won't we, Number One?
258
00:23:20,780 --> 00:23:22,978
Well, there's the aquarium,
sir. We could put you in there.
259
00:23:23,141 --> 00:23:26,058
Aquarium? No, no.
260
00:23:26,221 --> 00:23:28,499
That'd be like waking up in a submarine.
261
00:23:29,940 --> 00:23:31,658
Below there.
262
00:23:31,821 --> 00:23:33,740
Come and bear a hand with my dunnage.
263
00:23:58,420 --> 00:24:00,778
- Morning, sir.
- Morning, Number One.
264
00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:02,298
Struck some foul weather.
265
00:24:02,461 --> 00:24:04,738
It's always like this
in Sandcastle on Sunday.
266
00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:07,898
From what I've seen of the place,
it's always like Sunday in Sandcastle.
267
00:24:08,061 --> 00:24:11,097
Yes, sir.
Except it's no day of rest for the coppers.
268
00:24:11,261 --> 00:24:13,779
They've been here this morning
and took the slot machines away.
269
00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:18,898
Why wasn't I called? Who let 'em aboard?
- It seems they got the keys off Mr. Figg.
270
00:24:19,061 --> 00:24:22,738
I met 'em wheeling the machines out
on that little old cot they keep for the drunks.
271
00:24:22,901 --> 00:24:25,178
Not that we get many drunks in Sandcastle.
272
00:24:25,341 --> 00:24:27,499
I'll beat seven bells out of them for this.
273
00:24:33,540 --> 00:24:35,498
Hello, hello. Are you all right, sir?
274
00:24:35,662 --> 00:24:38,178
I haven't quite found my sea legs yet.
275
00:24:38,341 --> 00:24:41,738
That boy you mentioned, the second engineer.
Is he out of quarantine?
276
00:24:41,901 --> 00:24:43,658
Who, Reggie Skinner?
He'll be back tomorrow.
277
00:24:43,821 --> 00:24:47,219
I need him today. Rouse him out
and meet me at the police station at 0100.
278
00:24:49,259 --> 00:24:53,257
Small profit, perhaps, but you must admit
that money can be won on these machines.
279
00:24:53,421 --> 00:24:55,098
There wouldn't be much
point in them otherwise.
280
00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:58,079
Then what are you arguing about?
That makes them illegal.
281
00:24:58,260 --> 00:25:01,095
No, no, no, no. Pardon me.
282
00:25:01,258 --> 00:25:03,857
Well done, Number One.
So this is our chief engineer.
283
00:25:04,021 --> 00:25:06,818
- Chief engineer?
- If you pass your test.
284
00:25:06,981 --> 00:25:09,097
- Now, look, uh-
- Skinner, sir.
285
00:25:09,261 --> 00:25:13,257
I'm going to put a penny in this machine
and you are to win it back.
286
00:25:13,421 --> 00:25:16,499
What's the idea of all this?
- You'll see, I hope.
287
00:25:18,060 --> 00:25:20,060
Go on, Skinner, win.
288
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:23,660
Good boy.
- Do it again
289
00:25:28,580 --> 00:25:30,658
You're just proving my
point. It's a gambling device.
290
00:25:30,821 --> 00:25:34,539
Is it? You try.
Come along, now. Fair's fair.
291
00:25:38,340 --> 00:25:40,539
You see? No skill.
292
00:25:41,220 --> 00:25:43,379
Carry on, Chief. Do yourself some good.
293
00:25:44,259 --> 00:25:47,257
Now, let us review
this whole matter again.
294
00:25:47,421 --> 00:25:51,779
No offense is committed under the Gaming Act
if skill predominates over luck. Isn't that right?
295
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:55,899
Yes.
- Well, you've just seen for yourself. This is a game of skill.
296
00:25:58,420 --> 00:26:00,420
Let's have another go, son.
297
00:26:01,180 --> 00:26:03,658
No, wait. Just your thumb.
298
00:26:03,821 --> 00:26:08,700
That's too far down. Hold it lighter.
That's right. Now, steady, right, go.
299
00:26:10,540 --> 00:26:12,659
I've won.
- Woman: Superintendent Browning.
300
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,378
Oh, good morning, ma'am.
301
00:26:16,542 --> 00:26:19,978
I see you're dealing with the matter of these machines.
302
00:26:20,141 --> 00:26:27,618
I came here this morning because it had been
reported to me that the new owner of the pier- you!
303
00:26:27,781 --> 00:26:31,818
Captain Ambrose, ma'am, has been questioning our legal right
to effect a seizure of these machines.
304
00:26:31,981 --> 00:26:35,698
Really?
I hope you've made the position clear to him.
305
00:26:35,861 --> 00:26:39,618
Well, madam, I have to admit
there are possibly grounds for a test case.
306
00:26:39,781 --> 00:26:41,738
- What?
- Thank you.
307
00:26:41,902 --> 00:26:44,179
That's all I wanted to know.
308
00:26:44,660 --> 00:26:47,779
A gambler and a Peeping Tom.
309
00:26:54,832 --> 00:26:56,275
I dig that crazy jukebox.
310
00:26:56,475 --> 00:26:59,403
Don't be so square, man. That ain't
a juke. That's a fruit machine.
311
00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:03,796
- Doing. -
- Keep your hands off, please.
312
00:27:03,959 --> 00:27:07,701
Look, don't lean on me, Jack.
I'm telling ya. Don't lean on me.
313
00:27:07,957 --> 00:27:11,054
Here, put it down, Dad. Let's have a ball.
- Leave it alone. Go and play somewhere else.
314
00:27:11,233 --> 00:27:15,501
You ain't plugged in, man. This is Sandcastle.
- It's a real square town, Dad.
315
00:27:15,664 --> 00:27:19,378
Square? What on earth are you talking about?
- No playing games on Sundays here. That's what he means.
316
00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:23,067
No Sunday movies, no dancing.
- Strictly no jiving.
317
00:27:23,230 --> 00:27:27,291
Nothing but a nothing. This is Sandcastle.
Dig it now, "Hornblower"?
318
00:27:28,874 --> 00:27:33,586
? Blow that horn, daddy-o?
- Why don't you go and enjoy yourselves on the pier?
319
00:27:35,176 --> 00:27:37,341
The pier?
You seen the pier?
320
00:27:37,576 --> 00:27:40,980
- I own the pier. - You what?
And there's a concert on this afternoon.
321
00:27:41,144 --> 00:27:48,374
A concert?? Come into the garden, Maud!?
- Oh, you send me.
322
00:27:48,587 --> 00:27:51,689
You send me!
- He's way out in cloud seven.
323
00:27:52,830 --> 00:27:54,615
- Choke your lump.
- Kid: What's that you say?
324
00:27:54,778 --> 00:27:57,672
Pipe down and belay all this doing and effort.
You think I was brought up in the last bucket?
325
00:27:57,835 --> 00:28:00,129
If this is the best you can do with your
make and mend, you deserve to be keelhauled.
326
00:28:00,364 --> 00:28:05,489
The concert's in the first dock.
And dig yourselves out of that.
327
00:28:08,190 --> 00:28:10,194
DRESSING ROOM �1
328
00:28:10,429 --> 00:28:13,349
M. White!
329
00:28:13,984 --> 00:28:18,072
- Mr. White!
- That you, sir?
330
00:28:18,570 --> 00:28:22,702
Where- where on earth are the Brinies?
- I've been looking for you. They've gone.
331
00:28:22,958 --> 00:28:24,553
- What?
- Packed up and walked out.
332
00:28:24,781 --> 00:28:27,138
It seems old Artie couldn't take
you making a monkey out of him.
333
00:28:27,301 --> 00:28:29,738
Are there many people in the auditorium?
- Not a soul just now, sir.
334
00:28:29,901 --> 00:28:31,900
Well, thank goodness for that.
335
00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:44,579
Go, man, go.
- What's the holdup, Mac?
336
00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:48,019
I'm sorry,
but I'm afraid we have been let down.
337
00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:51,978
You said there was gonna be
a show here this afternoon.
338
00:28:52,141 --> 00:28:53,938
- Live entertainment.
- Ambrose: Yes, I know, but-
339
00:28:54,101 --> 00:28:57,218
There ain't no show?
- If you'll let me explain-
340
00:28:57,381 --> 00:28:59,300
We'll give him a show.
341
00:29:04,140 --> 00:29:08,539
Okay, you cats. Take your seats.
I'll have this one.
342
00:29:16,220 --> 00:29:18,819
Hey! You let them seats alone!
- Wait, Number One.
343
00:29:19,260 --> 00:29:20,578
I think they've got something.
344
00:29:20,741 --> 00:29:23,579
- But, sir, they-
- Those seats should've been broken up long ago.
345
00:29:35,180 --> 00:29:38,018
Come on, no slugging. Get down to it.
- You crazy?
346
00:29:38,181 --> 00:29:40,259
He's nutty as a fruitcake.
347
00:29:41,220 --> 00:29:44,299
You said you had nowhere to dance.
Well, here's your dance hall.
348
00:29:44,780 --> 00:29:47,459
Cor! Good old "Hornblower"!
349
00:30:22,940 --> 00:30:26,018
Anything there of any use?
- Some of it's okay.
350
00:30:26,181 --> 00:30:29,978
Except for what it says.
"Long live King Edward the seventh. "
351
00:30:30,141 --> 00:30:33,939
Dig deeper. You may get up to date.
Long live our glorious Queen.
352
00:30:39,740 --> 00:30:43,339
My rule is 9:00
for the closing of all huts.
353
00:30:44,020 --> 00:30:46,339
And will you please turn that machine off?
354
00:30:46,660 --> 00:30:48,660
Look.
355
00:30:50,940 --> 00:30:52,940
Fred!
356
00:30:59,060 --> 00:31:01,339
Them lights haven't worked
since Armistice night.
357
00:32:07,940 --> 00:32:09,895
Good evening, Superintendent.
358
00:32:10,058 --> 00:32:11,978
- Stop that noise!
- Play on!
359
00:32:12,141 --> 00:32:13,778
I'm sorry, Superintendent.
360
00:32:13,941 --> 00:32:19,619
I cannot allow you to give orders on my pier
until you have established your authority to do so.
361
00:32:19,940 --> 00:32:24,018
Shall we step outside
and discuss the matter?
362
00:32:24,181 --> 00:32:26,218
Won't you bring your men with you?
363
00:32:26,381 --> 00:32:29,859
My crew are quite capable
of maintaining order.
364
00:32:36,860 --> 00:32:39,498
Now I take it I must be committing
some sort of offense.
365
00:32:39,661 --> 00:32:41,498
That's putting it mildly, sir.
366
00:32:41,661 --> 00:32:44,578
To begin with, dancing is not permitted
at any public place and is subject-
367
00:32:44,741 --> 00:32:45,978
Really? How ridiculous.
368
00:32:46,141 --> 00:32:48,858
And furthermore, this pier possesses
no license for dancing in any case.
369
00:32:49,021 --> 00:32:53,059
I will certainly get one. Where do I go for it?
- You'll soon see, Captain.
370
00:32:54,540 --> 00:32:58,058
For permitting music and dancing
in premises not so licensed,
371
00:32:58,221 --> 00:33:01,658
you are fined the maximum
penalty of five pounds.
372
00:33:01,821 --> 00:33:04,458
For the other and more serious offense,
373
00:33:04,621 --> 00:33:10,499
permitting music and dancing in a public
place on a Sunday, you will pay 20 pounds.
374
00:33:15,140 --> 00:33:16,738
- Hmm? -
Oh, just a minute.
375
00:33:16,901 --> 00:33:19,859
I'm reminded you made application
for a music and dancing license.
376
00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:25,460
The application is rejected.
377
00:33:35,460 --> 00:33:38,139
It seems I shall have to
think of something else.
378
00:33:38,660 --> 00:33:42,978
What about a bar?
I suppose I need a license for that, too.
379
00:33:43,141 --> 00:33:46,458
You suppose?
- And I apply for it here, do I?
380
00:33:46,621 --> 00:33:50,138
Captain Ambrose, you haven't got a hope.
Put it right out of your mind, sir.
381
00:33:50,301 --> 00:33:54,379
I don't strike my colors as easily as that.
What is the procedure?
382
00:33:55,100 --> 00:33:57,459
Very well, sir. You've asked for it.
383
00:33:57,980 --> 00:34:00,738
To obtain a license in this country
for the sale of alcoholic beverages-
384
00:34:00,901 --> 00:34:03,458
Just a minute.
Right.
385
00:34:03,621 --> 00:34:07,179
The bar premises having been selected...
Select bar premises.
386
00:34:07,576 --> 00:34:10,614
Notice of the application must be
thereto affixed in a conspicuous position
387
00:34:10,777 --> 00:34:13,885
between 10:00 in the morning and 5:00 in
the afternoon on two consecutive Sundays.
388
00:34:14,646 --> 00:34:17,380
A similar notice must also be affixed
to the door of the parish church.
389
00:34:17,946 --> 00:34:20,006
For a pub?
- Correct, sir.
390
00:34:20,544 --> 00:34:23,412
Notice in writing must also be given
to the clerk at the Rating Authority,
391
00:34:23,721 --> 00:34:26,405
the chief of police, and the
clerk of the licensing justices.
392
00:34:26,568 --> 00:34:29,052
The last two both requiring
also a plan of the premises.
393
00:34:29,329 --> 00:34:32,436
For the granting of any license, it will
be necessary for the court to take notice
394
00:34:32,599 --> 00:34:35,000
of such objections as may be entered
by the licensed victualing trade,
395
00:34:35,163 --> 00:34:37,190
temperance,
and/or religious organizations,
396
00:34:37,353 --> 00:34:40,181
and such private individuals as may
fear disturbance of local amenities.
397
00:34:40,456 --> 00:34:42,963
After which one is at liberty
to sell a glass of beer.
398
00:34:43,126 --> 00:34:46,732
Should the license be granted, further application is
then required to be made to the confirming authority,
399
00:34:46,925 --> 00:34:48,612
and in the event of the
license being confirmed,
400
00:34:48,775 --> 00:34:51,610
an agreement reached with the Customs
and Excise Department on Monopoly Value,
401
00:34:51,773 --> 00:34:55,833
further and final application may then be
made for an excise license to sell liquor.
402
00:34:57,273 --> 00:35:00,658
And then?
- You sell it.
403
00:35:01,562 --> 00:35:04,383
Well, that's all quite
clear and straightforward.
404
00:35:05,008 --> 00:35:07,107
"Select bar premises. "
405
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:15,758
Well...
this place wouldn't be much of a loss.
406
00:35:15,921 --> 00:35:17,078
Not even to the fish.
407
00:35:17,241 --> 00:35:20,358
Especially when you think of their sex life.
- Poor little perishers.
408
00:35:20,521 --> 00:35:22,520
Run a counter along here...
409
00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:24,998
cut a porthole there.
- Make a right tight little bar.
410
00:35:25,161 --> 00:35:26,998
Well, that's settled. Get it cleared.
411
00:35:27,161 --> 00:35:29,919
Well, what do we do with the fish?
- Put 'em in the drink where they belong.
412
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,280
Here.
413
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:55,918
Eight bells, sir. Forenoon watch.
414
00:35:56,081 --> 00:35:58,479
Good morning, Number One.
What have you got there?
415
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:04,160
A little present for you, sir.
I- I made it myself.
416
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,000
Thank you, Number One.
417
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,799
And she's a fine, trim craft.
418
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:17,039
She shall go in a place of honor.
- Oh, thank you, sir.
419
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,718
Is that yours, sir?
- You flatter me.
420
00:36:21,881 --> 00:36:26,039
It belonged to my great-grandfather.
Admiral Ambrose of the Blue.
421
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,758
Good morning, Mr. Duckworth.
- Sorry, sir. First aid kit wanted.
422
00:36:31,921 --> 00:36:35,779
An accident?
- A man fainted, sir. One of the anglers.
423
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:43,159
Angler: It's a Japanese balloon fish.
424
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:48,279
It's fantastic!
They never swim west of Sumatra!
425
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:50,960
Oi, look at this!
426
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,558
No, it's- it's impossible!
427
00:36:53,721 --> 00:36:56,559
What is it?
- Why, it's a- it's a-
428
00:37:00,839 --> 00:37:05,119
Number One...
I think our pier's gonna set people talking.
429
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:10,317
Mr. Mayor,
I have never hesitated to express my opinion
430
00:37:10,481 --> 00:37:16,238
that Sandcastle Pier is an eyesore,
a blot on our beautiful town.
431
00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:19,837
And now that it has become the property
of a person who seeks, it appears,
432
00:37:20,001 --> 00:37:22,518
only to subvert the morals
of our young people-
433
00:37:22,681 --> 00:37:25,558
It's all right, madam.
- A person, moreover,
434
00:37:25,721 --> 00:37:29,078
who now has the effrontery
to apply for a license to sell liquor.
435
00:37:29,241 --> 00:37:31,599
Mrs. Barrington,
I can set your mind at rest.
436
00:37:32,839 --> 00:37:35,278
I'm very glad to hear it.
- Now, the planning committee
437
00:37:35,441 --> 00:37:40,559
has been working for some little time
on a scheme for the improvement of our seafront.
438
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,638
And the result of our efforts,
which you have in front of you,
439
00:37:43,801 --> 00:37:47,119
is a plan which is going to mean
the total removal of the pier.
440
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,038
This will be acquired by compulsory purchase,
441
00:37:50,201 --> 00:37:53,558
and its demolition will make room
for the construction of a new marine drive.
442
00:37:53,721 --> 00:37:55,918
I've often thought that was
something we badly lacked.
443
00:37:56,081 --> 00:37:59,519
As you can see, this will consist of a roadway
running along the foot of the cliff
444
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,438
and taking in approximately
100 feet of the foreshore.
445
00:38:03,601 --> 00:38:07,317
A hundred feet? But that will mean
moving my bathing huts forward.
446
00:38:07,481 --> 00:38:11,079
I'm afraid this scheme does not envisage
the retention of your bathing huts.
447
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,639
You want to get rid of my huts?
448
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:19,038
Well, since we're getting rid of the pier -
- But my huts have been there for over 30 years.
449
00:38:19,201 --> 00:38:20,958
The pier has been there for 65 years.
450
00:38:21,121 --> 00:38:24,559
I hardly think your huts come into
the category of ancient monuments.
451
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,879
Though, naturally, you'll be
offered compensation for them.
452
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:33,999
And may I inquire what the new owner of the pier
is going to get in the way of compensation?
453
00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:38,039
Hmm? The figure arrived at by
the surveyor is 2,800 pounds.
454
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:42,399
And may I further inquire, Mr. Mayor,
what you received for the sale of the pier?
455
00:38:44,319 --> 00:38:46,278
That is entirely a private matter.
456
00:38:46,441 --> 00:38:48,519
Very private, I've no doubt.
457
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:50,478
What you getting at, eh?
458
00:38:50,641 --> 00:38:55,779
Madam, we must not involve ourselves in personal issues. We're here to serve the community, remember?
- Hear, hear.
459
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,478
Gentlemen...
I've sat here longer than any of you
460
00:38:59,641 --> 00:39:02,278
and I can remember the
time when this council had a reputation
461
00:39:02,441 --> 00:39:06,519
for service to the community
of which it was justly proud.
462
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,120
Self-interest was then a thing unknown.
463
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,238
Are you accusing us of self-interest?
- You're a fine one to talk.
464
00:39:12,401 --> 00:39:14,398
All this fuss about those old huts of yours?
465
00:39:14,562 --> 00:39:18,398
Order, please, order. Mrs. Barrington-
- Thank you, Mr. Mayor.
466
00:39:18,561 --> 00:39:22,639
Under the impact of the blow, perhaps I have
been thinking selfishly of my own interests.
467
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,279
At least I can plead that I'm
not the only offender here.
468
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:32,958
Let the mayor deny that he's made
a quick profit on the sale of the pier.
469
00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:38,359
And let him deny that his firm will get
the contract for this new marine drive.
470
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:43,638
And you, Mr. Bullen. Let us hear you declare that you
won't take the pier for scrap when it's demolished.
471
00:39:43,801 --> 00:39:46,638
This is disgraceful. Madam,
your remarks are highly improper.
472
00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:48,998
As a lawyer, I'd better warn you,
they're also gross slander.
473
00:39:49,161 --> 00:39:52,758
Mrs. Barrington, I must demand-
- Save your breath, Mr. Mayor.
474
00:39:52,921 --> 00:39:55,519
I'm no longer having any
part in this conspiracy.
475
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,679
You will kindly accept my
resignation from the council.
476
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,519
CAUTION ROAD UP
477
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,118
Last of the anglers gone ashore, sir.
- With a catch, I hope.
478
00:40:17,281 --> 00:40:19,278
Two, sir.
479
00:40:19,442 --> 00:40:22,759
East Indian triggerfish and a porcupine eel.
- Splendid. All right, darken ship, Number One. - Aye, aye, sir.
480
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,935
Sir!
481
00:40:30,098 --> 00:40:32,318
What is it?
- It's a lady friend of ours.
482
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,080
Flying a distress signal.
483
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:58,240
I hope I'm not intruding, ma'am.
484
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:04,157
Please leave me alone, mister- Captain. I'm perfectly all right.
- I don't like to contradict a lady, but you seem to be in distress.
485
00:41:04,321 --> 00:41:07,159
Well, if I am, I can hardly
expect you to understand.
486
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,558
Please go.
487
00:41:09,721 --> 00:41:13,279
Very well, ma'am.
If you're sure there's nothing I can do.
488
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,838
They're going to take my huts away.
489
00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:20,398
Dear me. You shall tell me all about it.
490
00:41:20,561 --> 00:41:22,638
My cabin isn't exactly up
to battlewagon standards,
491
00:41:22,801 --> 00:41:28,099
but I used to make the best coffee in the water.
Come along. Come on.
492
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,638
And, so, to cut a long story short,
I resigned then and there.
493
00:41:38,801 --> 00:41:41,878
Quite right.
A tot of this to jolly it up?
494
00:41:42,041 --> 00:41:45,199
Oh, no. Please, wait. What is it?
- Rum, ma'am.
495
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,038
Oh, no. I never touch alcohol.
- Then this is a good time to start.
496
00:41:49,201 --> 00:41:50,878
It's an occasion for
splicing the main brace.
497
00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:54,598
What?
- Celebration. You've resigned from the council.
498
00:41:54,761 --> 00:41:58,199
Oh, but that doesn't mean-
- Come along, now. Strike it down.
499
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,738
Mm, I think perhaps it
does improve the coffee.
500
00:42:04,901 --> 00:42:08,558
It improves the world, ma'am.
- Nothing can alter the facts.
501
00:42:08,721 --> 00:42:10,438
Oh, yes, it can.
502
00:42:10,601 --> 00:42:12,398
Nobody's going to take
your huts away from you.
503
00:42:12,561 --> 00:42:15,198
But you don't realize the powers
they have. Compulsory purchase...
504
00:42:15,361 --> 00:42:18,159
Mrs. Barrington,
you shall put your huts on my pier.
505
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:23,718
Captain Ambrose, I've misjudged you.
506
00:42:23,881 --> 00:42:29,837
Forget it, ma'am. Some coffee.
- Most generous. A most generous offer.
507
00:42:30,001 --> 00:42:33,878
I only wish I could accept it.
- Listen, ma'am, there's plenty of deck space,
508
00:42:34,041 --> 00:42:35,757
and there's no reason why we
shouldn't carry a bit more top hamper.
509
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,238
I'm not concerned about her looks.
She's an old hooker and I know it.
510
00:42:39,401 --> 00:42:40,438
Oh, but you don't understand-
511
00:42:40,601 --> 00:42:43,718
To tell you the truth, I only bought her
because I've always wanted a command of my own
512
00:42:43,881 --> 00:42:46,478
and this is the only one
I could ever arise to.
513
00:42:46,641 --> 00:42:49,078
Just an ugly old hooker.
514
00:42:49,241 --> 00:42:52,279
But I wouldn't change
her for any craft afloat.
515
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,677
Here, steady, steady. This won't do.
516
00:42:58,841 --> 00:43:03,199
Captain Ambrose... I don't know how to tell you.
- To tell me what?
517
00:43:05,420 --> 00:43:09,179
I can't put my huts on your pier because...
518
00:43:14,060 --> 00:43:16,339
they're going to take the pier as well.
519
00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:24,298
what did you say?
- They're going to take it over and demolish it.
520
00:43:24,461 --> 00:43:27,059
Demolish my pier?
521
00:43:28,739 --> 00:43:31,299
Oh, they- they'll give you
compensation, of course.
522
00:43:31,980 --> 00:43:35,298
2,800 pounds, they said.
523
00:43:35,461 --> 00:43:37,939
But I paid 5,000 for her.
524
00:43:38,340 --> 00:43:41,579
5,000!
- Every penny I could scrape up.
525
00:43:43,580 --> 00:43:46,858
That crony. That crook.
526
00:43:47,021 --> 00:43:49,418
That horrible swindler.
527
00:43:49,581 --> 00:43:52,778
Why did you do it?
The pier wasn't worth that.
528
00:43:52,941 --> 00:43:54,878
She was worth it to me.
529
00:43:55,042 --> 00:43:57,339
Just an ugly old-
what was it you said?
530
00:43:58,100 --> 00:44:01,178
Hoo- hooker, ma'am.
Just an old tub.
531
00:44:01,341 --> 00:44:03,538
But that's not the point.
I'll tell you something.
532
00:44:03,701 --> 00:44:06,539
You've told me a secret,
I'll tell you a secret.
533
00:44:06,900 --> 00:44:10,698
There is no other sort
of ship can ever suit me
534
00:44:10,861 --> 00:44:13,299
and I'll tell you why.
535
00:44:14,940 --> 00:44:16,940
I get seasick.
536
00:44:17,420 --> 00:44:20,579
Permanently, catastrophically seasick.
537
00:44:21,580 --> 00:44:25,059
You poor sailor.
538
00:44:26,260 --> 00:44:31,217
You understand? This is the only command
I can ever have. I've got to stop them.
539
00:44:31,381 --> 00:44:35,738
But how? The council have got the power.
They can do what they like in this town.
540
00:44:35,901 --> 00:44:39,099
My pier is not in this town.
She belongs to the sea.
541
00:44:39,540 --> 00:44:43,938
It comes under the jurish-
jurisdiction.
542
00:44:44,101 --> 00:44:46,138
Are you sure of that? Quite sure?
543
00:44:46,301 --> 00:44:49,499
Just like the holiday
camp on Starfish Island.
544
00:44:51,739 --> 00:44:54,579
Holiday camp.
- What about it?
545
00:44:55,260 --> 00:44:58,298
My huts. 24 huts.
546
00:44:58,461 --> 00:45:02,799
Two bunks in each.
Holiday camp on the pier.
547
00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:07,737
We can run it together, you and me.
548
00:45:07,901 --> 00:45:10,778
Holiday camp on the pier.
- Wait, not a holiday camp.
549
00:45:10,941 --> 00:45:13,618
A liner. Holiday cruises.
550
00:45:13,781 --> 00:45:17,098
For people like you who are always
seasick. Never been on a cruise.
551
00:45:17,261 --> 00:45:21,698
Hundreds of people like that. Thousands.
- The liner that never rocks, never rolls.
552
00:45:21,861 --> 00:45:27,379
You've spent your savings.
I'll give you my savings.
553
00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,500
That's very kind of you.
554
00:45:32,500 --> 00:45:35,818
But it's no good.
A pipe dream.
555
00:45:35,981 --> 00:45:41,339
Partners. We could be partners.
- You've forgotten the council.
556
00:45:41,860 --> 00:45:46,178
Oh, the council.
Going to sink your ship.
557
00:45:46,341 --> 00:45:48,440
Sink my ship.
558
00:45:59,739 --> 00:46:02,217
But they couldn't, could they?
- Couldn't what?
559
00:46:02,381 --> 00:46:06,378
Sink my ship.
If she were a ship. Mrs. Barrington,
560
00:46:06,541 --> 00:46:09,659
listen to me.
- Call me Arabella.
561
00:46:10,300 --> 00:46:12,300
Arabella.
562
00:46:15,060 --> 00:46:18,538
But that's beautiful.
- Ooh, steady, Arabella.
563
00:46:18,701 --> 00:46:21,979
REGISTRAR GENERAL OF SHIPING
564
00:46:22,420 --> 00:46:25,179
Arabella.
565
00:46:26,219 --> 00:46:29,658
Tonnage?
- 2,116.
566
00:46:29,822 --> 00:46:32,299
Is that deadweight?
- It is, indeed.
567
00:46:33,020 --> 00:46:36,458
Class of ship?
- I'm using her as a pleasure craft.
568
00:46:36,621 --> 00:46:40,458
Passenger vessel.
Port of registry.
569
00:46:40,621 --> 00:46:42,720
Sandcastle-on-Sea.
570
00:46:43,780 --> 00:46:46,498
Something wrong?
- No, it's just a little unusual.
571
00:46:46,661 --> 00:46:50,778
A seaside resort.
Type and make of engines.
572
00:46:50,941 --> 00:46:53,698
Oil induction, Loveday and Bone.
573
00:46:53,861 --> 00:46:58,018
Loveday and Bone. Are they making marine engines now?
- They made ours.
574
00:46:58,181 --> 00:47:01,499
I thought they were only
light and power. That's rather interesting.
575
00:47:02,380 --> 00:47:06,818
When and where was your ship built?
- Sandcastle, 1892.
576
00:47:06,981 --> 00:47:10,498
1892? Then she must have
been on the registry for years.
577
00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:16,020
She's never been launched.
- I see.
578
00:47:18,739 --> 00:47:24,579
Length?
- 1,032 feet.
579
00:47:26,180 --> 00:47:29,378
My dear sir, that makes her
longer than the Queen Elizabeth.
580
00:47:29,541 --> 00:47:31,640
She is.
581
00:47:34,620 --> 00:47:38,018
I shall be interested to see the plans
of this remarkable vessel.
582
00:47:38,181 --> 00:47:40,179
Plans?
- Well, surely you brought them with you.
583
00:47:42,219 --> 00:47:44,198
Are they essential?
- Most certainly they're essential.
584
00:47:44,361 --> 00:47:47,498
You can't register a ship in this country
until we've approved her plans.
585
00:47:47,661 --> 00:47:49,298
This isn't Liberama.
586
00:47:49,461 --> 00:47:51,858
Liberama?
- Some of those countries would register a washtub
587
00:47:52,021 --> 00:47:53,956
for the sake of the fees.
588
00:47:54,119 --> 00:47:56,020
Liberama.
589
00:47:56,940 --> 00:47:59,938
OUR GLORIOUS LIBERATOR
FIRST PRESIDENT OF LIBERAMA
590
00:48:00,101 --> 00:48:02,779
1,032 feet?
591
00:48:03,219 --> 00:48:05,538
Let me see, what figure
would that be in meters?
592
00:48:05,701 --> 00:48:10,858
Ambrose: I haven't worked it out.
- Well, no matter. It's a technicality.
593
00:48:11,021 --> 00:48:15,378
But now, Captain...
I have to be a little bit more specific.
594
00:48:15,541 --> 00:48:18,218
International shipping
regulations, you understand.
595
00:48:18,620 --> 00:48:22,938
You carry a radio, of course?
- Of course. And a television set on order.
596
00:48:23,101 --> 00:48:25,577
Really?
Most enterprising.
597
00:48:25,741 --> 00:48:28,898
Lifeboats, fog warning system?
- All in hand.
598
00:48:29,061 --> 00:48:30,738
And radar?
- That's an idea.
599
00:48:30,901 --> 00:48:34,418
And more entertaining than TV. I'll see
what I can do. Thank you for the suggestion.
600
00:48:34,581 --> 00:48:36,580
It's a pleasure.
601
00:48:37,820 --> 00:48:43,339
Well, that is really all I require...
except a little matter of registration fee.
602
00:48:43,980 --> 00:48:46,419
If you please.
- Oh, thank you.
603
00:48:48,860 --> 00:48:53,619
My government will inform Lloyd's in the usual way
about this addition to our Merchant Navy.
604
00:48:54,380 --> 00:48:55,938
When is the launching ceremony?
605
00:48:56,101 --> 00:48:58,339
As soon as we've finished
work on her superstructure.
606
00:50:15,060 --> 00:50:17,258
Barrington: I name this ship Arabella!
607
00:50:17,421 --> 00:50:19,420
Good luck!
608
00:50:23,219 --> 00:50:25,219
Try again!
609
00:50:25,980 --> 00:50:29,579
I name this ship Arabella!
610
00:50:31,980 --> 00:50:35,139
Good luck to all who never sail in her!
611
00:50:35,380 --> 00:50:37,380
Pipe.
612
00:51:03,620 --> 00:51:05,858
Fog warning on a day like this?
Fella must be mad.
613
00:51:06,021 --> 00:51:08,499
He'll be mad, all
right, when he sees this. Come on.
614
00:51:11,100 --> 00:51:13,100
Pipe!
615
00:51:17,860 --> 00:51:20,577
Welcome aboard, ma'am.
- A great day, Captain.
616
00:51:20,741 --> 00:51:24,259
The crew is lined up for your inspection.
- Oh, how sweet of them.
617
00:51:27,100 --> 00:51:30,538
One can't help feeling sorry for the poor
devil, you know. The money this must be costing.
618
00:51:30,701 --> 00:51:32,638
What beats me is where
he gets it all from.
619
00:51:32,801 --> 00:51:34,678
What did he pay Mrs.
Barrington for these huts?
620
00:51:34,841 --> 00:51:36,939
I haven't set eyes on her
since she walked out on us.
621
00:51:42,460 --> 00:51:46,499
So there she is.
- What on earth's she doing here?
622
00:51:47,860 --> 00:51:51,098
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
We were not expecting visitors today, but-
623
00:51:51,261 --> 00:51:54,577
Captain Ambrose, as mayor of this borough,
it's my duty to hand you this.
624
00:51:54,741 --> 00:51:57,659
A civic welcome? How very generous.
625
00:51:58,180 --> 00:52:02,858
"Order for compulsory purchase. " There's
been a mistake. That can't apply here.
626
00:52:03,021 --> 00:52:05,858
I'm afraid it does.
- You read it, Captain Ambrose. You'll soon see.
627
00:52:06,021 --> 00:52:08,458
I really don't think
there's any need, Mr. Mayor.
628
00:52:08,621 --> 00:52:12,059
I know quite well a local authority
has no power to acquire a ship.
629
00:52:12,980 --> 00:52:14,978
Did you say a ship?
630
00:52:15,142 --> 00:52:19,379
The passenger vessel Arabella,
registered under the ensign of Liberama.
631
00:52:21,620 --> 00:52:24,539
You're out of your mind.
- Ambrose: If you wish for confirmation,
632
00:52:25,060 --> 00:52:27,738
here is the latest supplement
to Lloyd's Register.
633
00:52:28,580 --> 00:52:30,899
But you can't do this.
- I have done it.
634
00:52:32,340 --> 00:52:36,539
Would you do us the honor, ma'am, of giving the order?
- With pleasure, Captain.
635
00:52:37,100 --> 00:52:39,179
Splice the main brace!
636
00:52:41,100 --> 00:52:43,038
Come and get it!
637
00:52:43,202 --> 00:52:45,379
Up spirits!
638
00:52:59,580 --> 00:53:00,698
Thank you.
639
00:53:00,861 --> 00:53:02,880
Will you join us, gentlemen?
640
00:53:08,540 --> 00:53:12,178
Well, that seems to be that.
- I hope so, Captain.
641
00:53:12,342 --> 00:53:16,818
Mr. Crowley stands to lose a great
deal by this. More than he can afford.
642
00:53:16,981 --> 00:53:20,939
You must keep your weather eye open.
- It never closes, ma'am.
643
00:53:23,941 --> 00:53:27,057
"Book now for the
maiden voyage of R.M.S.
644
00:53:27,221 --> 00:53:30,057
Arabella.
645
00:53:30,221 --> 00:53:32,218
The ship that never rocks, never rolls. "
646
00:53:32,381 --> 00:53:34,978
I'd rock and roll 'em.
- "No currency restrictions. "
647
00:53:35,141 --> 00:53:36,938
My currency's gonna be restricted, though.
648
00:53:37,101 --> 00:53:39,418
I was counting on that
scrap metal deal. And what about you?
649
00:53:39,581 --> 00:53:42,898
That'll do, Bullen. I want to know
the planning committee's legal rights.
650
00:53:43,061 --> 00:53:45,737
Yes, after all, we have been authorized
to build the marine drive.
651
00:53:45,901 --> 00:53:48,978
And as long as that confounded pier is
standing, we can't even make a start.
652
00:53:49,141 --> 00:53:52,858
Well, I'm afraid we have to accept the fact
that in law, the pier is now a ship.
653
00:53:53,021 --> 00:53:57,459
But at least we can see to it that these cruises
of his are a very uneconomic proposition.
654
00:54:59,900 --> 00:55:03,298
Good morning, gentlemen. Is it possible
you have booked passage with us?
655
00:55:03,461 --> 00:55:07,217
Not today, Ambrose. You might say
we represent the Port Authority.
656
00:55:07,381 --> 00:55:09,778
We have you to thank, Captain,
for making us a seaport.
657
00:55:09,941 --> 00:55:14,395
I'm glad I've been able to please you.
- A splendid new source of income for the town.
658
00:55:14,558 --> 00:55:16,898
Mr. Chailey, what are the
harbor dues for the Arabella?
659
00:55:17,061 --> 00:55:20,538
According to the authorized scale
of harbor dues for English seaports,
660
00:55:20,701 --> 00:55:26,098
a ship of this size, for each day at her berth
is chargeable to the amount of 247 pounds,
661
00:55:26,261 --> 00:55:27,898
18 shillings.
662
00:55:28,061 --> 00:55:33,018
247 pounds?
- A lot of money.
663
00:55:33,182 --> 00:55:36,418
Too much, I think, ma'am, for the
attractions which Sandcastle has to offer.
664
00:55:36,581 --> 00:55:38,218
Refuse to pay and we take you to court.
665
00:55:38,381 --> 00:55:39,338
Mr. Merrick.
- Sir?
666
00:55:39,501 --> 00:55:41,898
Send the ship's carpenter here with an ax.
- Aye, aye, sir.
667
00:55:42,061 --> 00:55:44,419
And run up the Blue Peter.
We sail with this tide.
668
00:55:45,580 --> 00:55:47,098
As officials of the Port Authority,
669
00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:51,859
you realize, of course, that harbor dues are only
payable so long as the ship is lying in her moorings.
670
00:55:55,740 --> 00:55:57,898
I shall require notice of that question.
671
00:55:58,061 --> 00:56:03,139
I thought you might. Are you coming with us,
gentlemen? If not, I must ask you to step ashore.
672
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:07,820
We are about to cast off.
Chips, sever those planks.
673
00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:40,659
Good-bye!
674
00:57:23,939 --> 00:57:25,939
What do you make of her,
Mr. Duckworth?
675
00:57:26,939 --> 00:57:28,378
It's a dredger, sir,
676
00:57:28,541 --> 00:57:31,379
working on the deep water channel.
She's an old friend.
677
00:57:33,860 --> 00:57:35,218
You know, a skipper.
678
00:57:35,381 --> 00:57:37,658
Who, Figg?
- Figg, sir.
679
00:57:37,821 --> 00:57:41,379
Back on his old job, eh?
She's all yours, Mr. Duckworth.
680
00:57:54,140 --> 00:57:57,299
No, no. The fancy one.
That one over there.
681
00:57:58,660 --> 00:58:02,260
How much is it?
No, the other one.
682
00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:05,579
Take my advice, ma'am.
Don't trust the natives.
683
00:58:06,700 --> 00:58:08,700
"COQUERIE"
684
00:58:17,540 --> 00:58:21,418
One shilling, sir.
- Only a bob for a scotch?
685
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:23,538
We're at sea now, sir. Duty-free.
686
00:58:23,701 --> 00:58:25,819
Make it a treble.
- Righto, sir.
687
00:58:45,750 --> 00:58:49,874
My sister Agnes. Now, she's just like
a horse. Never been sick in her life.
688
00:58:50,075 --> 00:58:52,166
Only last week, she came
back from a cruise in the Med
689
00:58:52,401 --> 00:58:54,357
and when she told us that she
sat at the captain's table,
690
00:58:54,592 --> 00:58:55,615
I said to my husband, Bertie, I said,
691
00:58:55,778 --> 00:58:58,657
"If you don't get us seats at the
captain's table, I'm going to-"
692
00:58:59,058 --> 00:59:00,486
well, what has happened to Bertie?
693
00:59:00,887 --> 00:59:02,910
First night out,
bound to be a few missing at table.
694
00:59:03,611 --> 00:59:05,548
- Steward?
- Sir?
695
00:59:05,711 --> 00:59:07,861
Bring me a bottle of Taylor
'07 from the port bin.
696
00:59:08,024 --> 00:59:10,829
Port's in the starboard bin, sir.
- Then sweep to starboard.
697
00:59:10,992 --> 00:59:13,475
T for Taylor '07.
- T for Taylor '07, sir.
698
00:59:35,900 --> 00:59:39,458
Key to the door!
- Two, one, 21!
699
00:59:39,621 --> 00:59:42,538
Doctor's orders!
- Number nine!
700
00:59:43,140 --> 00:59:45,938
Unlucky for some.
- One, three, 13.
701
00:59:46,101 --> 00:59:50,298
Somebody in the water out there
under the ship swimming like a fish.
702
00:59:50,461 --> 00:59:54,139
Well, I expect it was a mermaid, sir.
Lots of 'em about at this time of the year.
703
00:59:55,426 --> 00:59:57,462
Legs 11! - Number 11!
704
00:59:57,697 --> 00:59:59,805
Bingo!
I've won!
705
01:00:05,723 --> 01:00:08,854
And though this boat drill is only a rehearsal
for something that won't ever happen,
706
01:00:09,189 --> 01:00:12,674
still, we have to obey
international shipping regulations.
707
01:00:12,837 --> 01:00:17,543
Mrs. Hopkins, you're back to front.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
708
01:00:19,241 --> 01:00:22,803
Mr. Thomas, check lifeboat's gear.
- Aye, aye, sir.
709
01:00:22,966 --> 01:00:25,171
Right, lower away.
710
01:00:26,469 --> 01:00:28,481
Handsomely, lads. Handsomely.
711
01:00:32,010 --> 01:00:34,923
There's a man down there.
712
01:00:41,022 --> 01:00:43,072
Evie!
713
01:00:54,047 --> 01:00:56,439
Oh, Captain, I've just
been telling my sister
714
01:00:56,602 --> 01:00:59,316
we've got everything she ever had
on any of her cruises.
715
01:00:59,479 --> 01:01:02,150
Not a single thing missing.
- Not even your breakfast.
716
01:01:02,371 --> 01:01:06,309
May I have a word with you, sir?
- Oh, lovely.
717
01:01:06,509 --> 01:01:08,406
CAPTAIN
718
01:01:08,569 --> 01:01:11,942
Come along, now. What were you doing down there?
- Swimming.
719
01:01:12,143 --> 01:01:15,889
But why under the pier?
- Well, why not? It's a free ocean, isn't it?
720
01:01:16,052 --> 01:01:18,814
Now, see here, you.
- Just a minute. What's your name?
721
01:01:19,249 --> 01:01:22,502
Davy Jones.
- All right, throw him back.
722
01:01:33,264 --> 01:01:36,835
Sir, do you reckon it was him that
shook up the poor old major last night?
723
01:01:37,070 --> 01:01:39,312
If it was, he must have
been here for some purpose.
724
01:01:39,475 --> 01:01:43,675
Let's have another go at him.
Too late.
725
01:01:44,580 --> 01:01:47,017
We've learned from this underwater survey
726
01:01:47,181 --> 01:01:51,818
that the pier supports go down
into the sea bed for some 15 feet.
727
01:01:51,981 --> 01:01:55,778
Now, the safety margin,
our surveyor tells me, is 12 feet.
728
01:01:55,941 --> 01:01:58,098
Councilor Figg's dredger.
- Precisely.
729
01:01:58,261 --> 01:02:02,018
Yes, but, Mr. Mayor-
- We have only to dredge away three feet of mud and-
730
01:02:02,380 --> 01:02:04,537
But they'll have us for damages.
Heavy damages.
731
01:02:04,701 --> 01:02:07,017
Oh, come, Mr. Chailey.
We shan't be laying a finger on that.
732
01:02:07,181 --> 01:02:10,618
Mr. Mayor-
- We shall merely be deepening the harbor for this so-called ship
733
01:02:10,781 --> 01:02:14,498
and making certain at the same time
that her first cruise will also be her last.
734
01:02:14,661 --> 01:02:19,878
But- but do we want it to be her last?
- I beg your pardon, Mr. Timmins?
735
01:02:20,042 --> 01:02:23,338
I can't help wondering, Mr. Mayor,
whether we're not making a great mistake
736
01:02:23,501 --> 01:02:25,658
going to all these lengths
to get rid of the pier.
737
01:02:25,821 --> 01:02:28,178
Are you mad?
- I know we agreed to scrap it,
738
01:02:28,341 --> 01:02:32,858
but that was before Captain Ambrose came along.
We didn't anticipate all this publicity.
739
01:02:33,021 --> 01:02:35,498
It has put Sandcastle very
much on the front page.
740
01:02:35,661 --> 01:02:38,178
And what has that done to the town
except turn it into a vulgar joke?
741
01:02:38,341 --> 01:02:41,218
It's attracted a lot of visitors,
and visitors mean money.
742
01:02:41,381 --> 01:02:43,355
Just so, I think Mr. Chailey's quite right.
743
01:02:43,518 --> 01:02:47,177
Whether we like it or not, Sandcastle Pier
is famous today all over the country.
744
01:02:47,340 --> 01:02:49,030
Yes, yes, well, that's what I mean.
- If you don't mind...
745
01:02:49,265 --> 01:02:52,250
if we were to get rid of it now,
I can visualize quite a public outcry.
746
01:02:52,465 --> 01:02:56,148
I thought it was your opinion, Mr. Chailey,
that we badly lacked a marine drive?
747
01:02:56,311 --> 01:02:59,224
But as you pointed out yourself, Mr. Mayor,
that would mean the removal of the pier,
748
01:02:59,387 --> 01:03:01,402
which is something we
might now bitterly regret.
749
01:03:01,565 --> 01:03:05,518
I do personally feel that Mr. Chailey has
come up with a most valuable suggestion.
750
01:03:05,681 --> 01:03:08,561
Hear, hear.
- Hear, hear.
751
01:03:08,821 --> 01:03:10,758
But to give up now.
752
01:03:10,759 --> 01:03:13,153
Make us more of a
laughingstock than ever.
753
01:03:13,388 --> 01:03:15,538
The next thing we know, you'll
be wanting to subsidize the pier.
754
01:03:15,673 --> 01:03:18,649
Well, I think today it'd be a pretty good investment.
- Hera, hear.
755
01:03:18,684 --> 01:03:20,538
Well, what exactly are you proposing?
756
01:03:20,701 --> 01:03:23,978
I propose that approaches be made
to Captain Ambrose and Mrs. Barrington
757
01:03:24,141 --> 01:03:26,378
with a view to the council participating with them
in the management of the pier.
758
01:03:26,541 --> 01:03:29,498
I second that. - Order,
please. - Vote, vote!
759
01:03:29,661 --> 01:03:31,580
Come on, vote. Vote, please.
760
01:03:32,100 --> 01:03:34,938
We were outvoted and it's all your fault
for not coming to the meeting.
761
01:03:35,101 --> 01:03:38,658
What, before I'd had me bath? You wouldn't have
liked it much if I'd come straight from the dredger.
762
01:03:38,821 --> 01:03:41,899
But your vote would've made all the difference.
- Now you've got to help us.
763
01:03:42,220 --> 01:03:44,618
Well, we can't dredge.
That's certain. They'd hear us.
764
01:03:44,781 --> 01:03:47,059
Yes, of course we can't.
But there's another way.
765
01:03:48,100 --> 01:03:50,100
You can pull it down.
766
01:03:51,460 --> 01:03:54,658
That's a lot to ask.
- Well, there's a lot at stake, and not only for me.
767
01:03:54,821 --> 01:03:56,618
You're all in on the
marine drive contract,
768
01:03:56,781 --> 01:03:59,938
but there won't be a penny for anyone
if that pier remains standing.
769
01:04:00,101 --> 01:04:01,898
We couldn't pull down
more than a bit of it.
770
01:04:02,061 --> 01:04:06,058
But don't you see? If only part of it collapses
for no apparent reason except old age,
771
01:04:06,221 --> 01:04:09,779
it'll be the easiest thing in the world
to get the whole condemned as unsafe.
772
01:04:10,700 --> 01:04:12,538
Well,
you'll have to come and crew for me.
773
01:04:12,701 --> 01:04:13,498
Us?
774
01:04:13,661 --> 01:04:16,138
Well, I can't do it all by myself,
and I'm not trusting my crew.
775
01:04:16,301 --> 01:04:18,018
They'd have the black on me
for the rest of my life.
776
01:04:18,181 --> 01:04:19,658
How many do you need?
777
01:04:19,821 --> 01:04:22,075
A couple more would do it.
- I don't think I'd be much use.
778
01:04:22,238 --> 01:04:24,538
My doctor's warned me that I've got-
- Why, you little rat. What about my ulcer, eh?
779
01:04:24,701 --> 01:04:28,098
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
Why the sudden cold feet?
780
01:04:28,261 --> 01:04:32,938
Nobody outside these four walls is ever likely
to learn the facts behind this incident.
781
01:04:33,101 --> 01:04:34,618
Provided, that is,
that we all stick together.
782
01:04:34,781 --> 01:04:36,818
That's just what I was gonna say.
- But if he only needs two of us-
783
01:04:36,981 --> 01:04:39,658
You and Bullen.
- What's that? You're not dodging out.
784
01:04:39,821 --> 01:04:42,218
Nobody's dodging out.
- Well, really, think in my position.
785
01:04:42,381 --> 01:04:44,378
I'm not leaving anybody behind
who knows what the game is.
786
01:04:44,542 --> 01:04:47,618
But you can't expect the mayor of Sandcastle
to put to seas a dredger head.
787
01:04:47,781 --> 01:04:50,339
If you don't go,
I'm certainly not going.
788
01:04:51,180 --> 01:04:54,179
What I say goes!
789
01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:15,098
I think it's perfectly lovely.
Don't you agree, Captain?
790
01:05:15,261 --> 01:05:17,818
The belle of the ball.
- Thank you, Captain.
791
01:05:17,981 --> 01:05:20,099
I'm afraid I haven't
worn it very much lately.
792
01:05:20,620 --> 01:05:22,738
Mr. Thomas rode me
ashore to fetch it.
793
01:05:22,901 --> 01:05:25,618
Rode you ashore?
- Don't you suffer?
794
01:05:25,781 --> 01:05:29,778
Suffer?
- Oh, from seasickness? No, I'm fortunate.
795
01:05:29,941 --> 01:05:32,578
I did once, mind you, when I was
quite a girl, but I got over it.
796
01:05:32,741 --> 01:05:34,740
How?
797
01:05:36,220 --> 01:05:38,538
Oh, well,
I suppose I just grew out of it.
798
01:05:38,701 --> 01:05:40,700
Oh, you were lucky.
799
01:05:41,660 --> 01:05:44,418
Oh, dear. I nearly let it out.
800
01:05:44,581 --> 01:05:47,218
It wouldn't do for our customers
to know the cure, would it?
801
01:05:47,381 --> 01:05:48,978
The cure?
- Well, it cured me.
802
01:05:49,141 --> 01:05:53,458
Mrs. Barrington, for years, the best medical
brains at the disposal of the Admiralty
803
01:05:53,621 --> 01:05:56,338
have been trying to find, without
success, a cure for seasickness.
804
01:05:56,501 --> 01:05:58,858
And you stand here and calmly
announce that you know one?
805
01:05:59,021 --> 01:06:01,419
Yes, it's really quite simple.
806
01:06:01,820 --> 01:06:06,498
You just stuff your ears with cotton
wool and wear very tight corsets.
807
01:06:06,661 --> 01:06:10,658
I thought for a moment you were serious.
- I am serious. It never fails.
808
01:06:10,821 --> 01:06:12,820
Tight corsets?
809
01:06:13,500 --> 01:06:15,500
Anything in sight?
810
01:06:17,180 --> 01:06:19,180
Ah, you see that dot?
811
01:06:20,180 --> 01:06:24,459
A ship approaching. In a moment, you'll
see her alter course to avoid us.
812
01:06:27,580 --> 01:06:29,619
Cutting it a bit fine, isn't she?
813
01:06:30,740 --> 01:06:32,740
Any moment now.
814
01:06:39,540 --> 01:06:42,379
She's going to collide with us.
- Calm, calm.
815
01:06:45,140 --> 01:06:47,140
She has collided with us.
816
01:06:47,580 --> 01:06:50,618
I didn't feel any shock.
- No collision.
817
01:06:50,781 --> 01:06:53,898
It's a small craft
passing under the pier.
818
01:06:54,061 --> 01:06:57,339
In a moment, you'll see her
come out on the other side.
819
01:07:05,300 --> 01:07:07,300
She's sunk.
820
01:07:07,820 --> 01:07:09,820
Look, sir.
821
01:07:14,340 --> 01:07:17,458
Ladies and gentlemen, will you excuse me?
Steward, look after my guests.
822
01:07:17,621 --> 01:07:20,299
Number One, come with me.
823
01:07:33,340 --> 01:07:35,340
Figg's dredger!
824
01:07:36,060 --> 01:07:38,060
What the blazes does
he think he's doing?
825
01:07:39,460 --> 01:07:41,460
Look, sir.
826
01:07:49,380 --> 01:07:51,378
Clear away boats for launching.
- Aye, aye, sir.
827
01:07:51,542 --> 01:07:54,658
Need a boarding party.
You and Duckworth.
828
01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:57,319
Sir, but- but you'll take command, sir?
829
01:07:58,340 --> 01:08:01,820
I'm afraid not.
You carry on, Number One.
830
01:08:14,460 --> 01:08:16,460
All hands!
831
01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:19,180
Excuse me.
832
01:08:19,860 --> 01:08:23,899
There's no cause for alarm. You're
all quite safe. Excuse me, please.
833
01:09:10,980 --> 01:09:15,979
Gentlemen... gentlemen,
I am about to engage the enemy.
834
01:09:26,020 --> 01:09:28,618
Belay that.
Number One, I'm taking command.
835
01:09:28,981 --> 01:09:31,055
Aye, aye, sir.
836
01:09:31,218 --> 01:09:33,458
Come out of there.
- Let 'em be.
837
01:09:33,621 --> 01:09:35,578
This is a job for small craft.
838
01:09:35,742 --> 01:09:38,178
Mr. Duckworth, fetch an ax.
Number One, follow me.
839
01:09:38,341 --> 01:09:40,539
Captain, one moment.
840
01:09:41,380 --> 01:09:45,220
This is no time for jokes, ma'am.
- Breathe in.
841
01:09:47,620 --> 01:09:51,098
It's not as good as a corset,
but it'll have to do.
842
01:09:51,261 --> 01:09:53,260
Wait.
843
01:09:54,500 --> 01:09:57,218
Useless.
I've tried all the drugs there are.
844
01:09:57,381 --> 01:10:01,580
Not drugs. Plugs.
845
01:10:05,020 --> 01:10:08,298
There.
Good luck, Captain.
846
01:10:08,461 --> 01:10:11,619
I shall do my duty, ma'am,
to the best of my disability.
847
01:10:17,260 --> 01:10:19,260
Now go forward.
848
01:10:19,860 --> 01:10:21,860
All gone forward.
849
01:10:22,380 --> 01:10:24,458
Helm amidships.
- Helm amidships.
850
01:10:24,621 --> 01:10:27,520
Slow astern.
- Slow astern.
851
01:10:36,060 --> 01:10:38,259
Stop engines.
- Stop engines.
852
01:10:50,900 --> 01:10:52,900
It works!
853
01:10:55,540 --> 01:10:57,298
Form line ahead.
- Form line ahead!
854
01:10:57,461 --> 01:10:58,458
Port wheel.
- Port wheel.
855
01:10:58,621 --> 01:11:00,940
Full speed ahead.
- Full speed ahead.
856
01:11:17,140 --> 01:11:21,180
Go astern and try again.
We'll do it next time.
857
01:11:42,380 --> 01:11:44,380
Get over!
858
01:12:10,700 --> 01:12:12,378
Enemy in sight, sir.
859
01:12:12,541 --> 01:12:15,298
Quite all right, thank you.
Never felt better.
860
01:12:15,461 --> 01:12:18,018
Mr. Duckworth, take your ship
in and destroy the halter.
861
01:12:18,181 --> 01:12:20,619
Take independent action.
Execute!
862
01:12:35,460 --> 01:12:37,460
It's coming!
863
01:12:39,860 --> 01:12:41,860
They're after us!
864
01:12:42,420 --> 01:12:45,819
They mustn't find me here.
Cut loose! Get rid of the halter!
865
01:12:46,480 --> 01:12:48,839
No, no, leave that! I'll fix them!
866
01:13:06,326 --> 01:13:08,634
Dig those crazy sugar tongs.
867
01:13:16,440 --> 01:13:20,560
Come and get me! Mad hopper!
868
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:33,440
Here I am, Figg. Do your worst.
869
01:13:44,920 --> 01:13:48,760
Look, they're cutting the halter!
870
01:14:06,880 --> 01:14:08,880
Got him!
871
01:14:10,260 --> 01:14:13,618
Where is he?
- Give him time. What goes down must come up.
872
01:14:13,781 --> 01:14:15,859
What's the matter?
- He hasn't come up yet.
873
01:14:16,380 --> 01:14:18,380
Look!
874
01:14:18,900 --> 01:14:20,900
We've drowned him!
875
01:14:28,380 --> 01:14:30,058
What's the idea of leaving the wheel?
We've lost steerageway.
876
01:14:30,221 --> 01:14:32,218
There's no sign of him.
- We've killed him. We'll swing for this.
877
01:14:32,381 --> 01:14:34,378
Shut up.
- Ahoy!
878
01:14:34,542 --> 01:14:35,978
Come up, blast ya!
879
01:14:36,141 --> 01:14:38,160
Strike your colors, gentlemen!
880
01:14:41,939 --> 01:14:44,539
Figg, you scoundrel.
Let go of that halter.
881
01:14:48,060 --> 01:14:50,060
No, you don't!
882
01:14:54,900 --> 01:14:56,900
Navy's here!
883
01:15:03,420 --> 01:15:05,420
Keep 'em there, Number One!
884
01:15:32,860 --> 01:15:35,339
That's it! Now!
885
01:15:42,660 --> 01:15:44,938
Hurry up, sir.
They're getting impatient.
886
01:16:04,020 --> 01:16:05,338
Now!
887
01:16:05,501 --> 01:16:07,098
Get with it, daddy-o!
888
01:16:07,261 --> 01:16:09,180
Grab, man, grab!
889
01:16:33,140 --> 01:16:36,499
Help!
- You idiot!
890
01:17:21,339 --> 01:17:24,298
Thomas, make a signal.
Four prisoners awaiting custody.
891
01:17:24,461 --> 01:17:26,460
Aye, aye, sir.
892
01:17:32,339 --> 01:17:34,339
Well done, Captain.
- Thank you very much.
893
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:41,778
Captain. I think the time has
come to splice the main brace.
894
01:17:41,941 --> 01:17:43,941
An excellent idea.
895
01:17:44,180 --> 01:17:46,180
Oh, look.
896
01:17:48,320 --> 01:17:50,320
I hope it's not an omen.
897
01:17:55,120 --> 01:17:56,718
I'm afraid it is.
898
01:17:56,881 --> 01:18:00,039
Everybody off!
As quickly as you can, please.
899
01:18:50,479 --> 01:18:53,437
Here we are, sir.
- Your boat, Number One.
900
01:18:53,601 --> 01:18:57,238
Oh, no, sir. Not without you.
- I shall stay with my ship.
901
01:18:57,401 --> 01:19:00,998
I'll stay with her, too.
- You will take command of the other half of her.
902
01:19:01,161 --> 01:19:03,260
That is an order.
903
01:19:04,880 --> 01:19:10,720
Well, good-bye, sir. And good luck.
- Good-bye, Number One.
904
01:19:54,000 --> 01:19:56,159
Ahoy there!
905
01:19:57,160 --> 01:19:59,879
Ahoy!
906
01:20:02,279 --> 01:20:05,398
Stand by to receive a line!
907
01:20:05,561 --> 01:20:08,439
We will take you in tow!
908
01:20:10,400 --> 01:20:14,559
Nobody claims salvage on my ship!
909
01:22:05,560 --> 01:22:10,199
And that, I fear, gentlemen,
is the end of the rum.
910
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:42,518
Timing and subtitles:
sean_connery
911
01:23:42,701 --> 01:23:45,870
http://subs. sab. bz/
Translator's Heaven�
912
01:23:46,305 --> 01:23:52,443
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