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- When you hear the
first computer,
2
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,018
fax machine, female lawyer.
3
00:00:34,019 --> 00:00:36,523
Where do you think
they're all from?
4
00:00:37,902 --> 00:00:39,389
The Silicon valley?
5
00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:41,099
Perhaps even New York.
6
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,373
No, this is Iowa.
7
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,949
Home of the only division
1A football stadium
8
00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,240
named after an
African-American, Jack Trice.
9
00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:53,129
Who attended Iowa State
University in the 20s.
10
00:00:53,130 --> 00:00:56,009
He was the second
African-American competing
11
00:00:56,010 --> 00:00:58,698
in college football at
a major university.
12
00:00:58,699 --> 00:01:00,539
Who's the first?
13
00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:02,369
Frank Holbrook, who
played for the.
14
00:01:02,370 --> 00:01:04,763
University of Iowa
a decade earlier.
15
00:01:05,758 --> 00:01:07,679
During the Civil War,
16
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,455
76,534 lowans served
in The Union.
17
00:01:11,456 --> 00:01:15,029
No other state had a
higher percentage
18
00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:16,603
of its male population serve.
19
00:01:18,019 --> 00:01:20,623
This is Waterloo.
20
00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:24,509
Waterloo, Iowa.
21
00:01:24,510 --> 00:01:28,033
This city, with the greatest
tractors ever made.
22
00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:32,139
This is East High.
23
00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,459
Record for the longest
football winning streak
24
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,460
in the state.
25
00:01:36,979 --> 00:01:37,812
Strangely enough, the record
26
00:01:37,813 --> 00:01:39,517
for the longest
losing streak, too.
27
00:01:39,518 --> 00:01:40,957
But whatever.
28
00:01:40,958 --> 00:01:43,939
Hey, Cedar Falls, suck
my dick from behind
29
00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:46,209
for pointing that out
in the first movie.
30
00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:48,539
Waterloo West High.
31
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:50,349
The high school of the
greatest wrestler
32
00:01:50,350 --> 00:01:53,069
of all time, Dan Gable.
33
00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:55,299
Waterloo is the home
of the greatest
34
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:58,898
American Navy family,
the Sullivans.
35
00:01:58,899 --> 00:02:02,639
The Sullivan brothers all
died on the same ship
36
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,800
in the South Pacific
during World War II.
37
00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:08,399
This is a story that
inspired the movie,
38
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,653
Saving Private Ryan.
39
00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:13,359
But my town of Waterloo,
40
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,176
that's where you're gonna get
41
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,889
the real American Experience.
42
00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:18,514
A large glass of scotch,
43
00:02:18,515 --> 00:02:20,157
plenty of great food,
44
00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:22,103
and genuine conversation.
45
00:02:49,756 --> 00:02:51,019
- American Pie was awesome.
46
00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:53,655
- I can't believe the kid
from Rookie of the Year
47
00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:55,335
got Tara Reid.
48
00:02:55,336 --> 00:02:57,560
- Harold was not aware of this.
49
00:02:57,561 --> 00:02:59,629
Who was the kid from
Rookie of the Year?
50
00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:02,449
- Thomas Ian Nicholas,
if I ever meet him,
51
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,839
I'm gonna tell him The
Floater was shit.
52
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,200
- Tara Reid is hot.
53
00:03:06,201 --> 00:03:07,892
- I like the part where the dude
54
00:03:07,893 --> 00:03:09,869
put his dick in the pie.
55
00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:11,349
- How do you know he's Jewish?
56
00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:15,816
- Because his dad is
Eugene Levy, Jew.
57
00:03:15,817 --> 00:03:18,248
- You come off so antisemitic.
58
00:03:18,249 --> 00:03:20,559
You need to work on that.
59
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,877
- The intern Clinton
nailed was a Jew.
60
00:03:22,878 --> 00:03:25,037
- You know, in 20 years,
61
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,439
our presidents, they'll
be married to models
62
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,296
and plowing porn stars.
63
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,760
- You Neanderthals.
64
00:03:32,761 --> 00:03:35,529
- Since your parents divorced,
65
00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:38,200
your weekends with your
dad have been great.
66
00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:39,719
- Thank you Father,
67
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,069
for allowing us to
watch R rated movies.
68
00:03:42,070 --> 00:03:44,049
- Pisses Mom off,
which is funny.
69
00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:47,119
- I prefer American
Beauty over American Pie.
70
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,989
It will win an Oscar.
71
00:03:48,990 --> 00:03:51,529
- I would rather see
a Jew screw a pie
72
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:54,329
over a plastic bag
in the wind any day.
73
00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:55,789
- Dad keeps asking
me how many times
74
00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:57,059
the new boyfriend comes,
75
00:03:57,060 --> 00:03:58,719
comes about three times a week.
76
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,459
Mom comes about seven or eight.
77
00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:02,699
Quit being such a fag, Dad.
78
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,719
Move on, get a chick,
79
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,569
sell some more Saturns
or something.
80
00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:08,052
- If you ever need to
talk about your feelings,
81
00:04:08,053 --> 00:04:11,778
after the divorce, Harold
is a good listener.
82
00:04:11,779 --> 00:04:13,549
- Feelings?
83
00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:15,517
I have two Christmases
now, you cock munchers.
84
00:04:15,518 --> 00:04:17,689
- Hey, where's Taylor?
85
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:20,029
- He's hanging with
his girl he met.
86
00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:21,539
She's here for the summer.
87
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:22,722
- What is this, Grease?
88
00:04:22,723 --> 00:04:25,973
♪ Those summer, nights ♪
89
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,856
- I prefer Grease 2.
90
00:04:29,857 --> 00:04:31,279
Much better movie.
91
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,319
Musical scenes, way better.
92
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,799
Best bowling scene
in film history.
93
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,847
- Taylor would sell
out his buddies
94
00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:39,360
for a chick any day.
95
00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:40,194
Pervert, Dee tried to tell him
96
00:04:40,195 --> 00:04:41,619
to keep his hands to himself.
97
00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,740
- I will wait for the
right girlfriend.
98
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,749
Harold is classy.
99
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:48,529
I want a lady with
that same standard.
100
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:49,530
- Fag.
101
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,278
- No way Richard Gere's going
102
00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:56,575
to rescue you if
you're a hooker.
103
00:04:56,576 --> 00:04:57,769
- Yeah, I guess he did
make out with her.
104
00:04:57,770 --> 00:04:59,780
You don't kiss a
hooker on the mouth.
105
00:04:59,781 --> 00:05:01,020
- No.
106
00:05:01,021 --> 00:05:02,038
- They'll bite off the
tip of your tongue.
107
00:05:02,039 --> 00:05:03,041
- They'll bite right on.
108
00:05:03,042 --> 00:05:04,060
- Like that shame on guy.
109
00:05:04,061 --> 00:05:04,894
- Wait, Sham-Wow guy.
110
00:05:04,895 --> 00:05:05,959
- You know the guy
from the infomercial
111
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,840
with the shammy.
112
00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:08,060
- Yeah.
113
00:05:08,061 --> 00:05:08,894
He made out with a hooker.
114
00:05:08,895 --> 00:05:10,319
And she bit off the
tip of his tongue.
115
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,153
- Holy shit!
116
00:05:11,154 --> 00:05:12,598
- Bit it right off.
117
00:05:12,599 --> 00:05:14,269
You don't kiss a
hooker on the mouth.
118
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,103
- No shit.
119
00:05:15,104 --> 00:05:16,149
And Richard Gere gives her money
120
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,804
to go shopping?
121
00:05:17,805 --> 00:05:18,979
- No, no.
122
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,539
- He would've taken
her in an alley,
123
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,146
bent her over a
dumpster, and said,
124
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,541
"yeah, take that pig!"
125
00:05:23,542 --> 00:05:25,809
- Now that's a movie
I would totally
126
00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:27,599
go, I would pay
money to see that.
127
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,499
- Yeah, you we think
we're above men
128
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,609
in this area, but we
are just as depraved.
129
00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:32,443
How many copies
130
00:05:32,444 --> 00:05:33,783
of Fifty Shades of
Gray were sold?
131
00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,564
Three blockbuster films.
132
00:05:35,565 --> 00:05:36,398
- Oh, my God.
133
00:05:36,399 --> 00:05:39,679
Honestly, I mean, I'd
rather see that rich guy
134
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,162
work over that chick,
135
00:05:41,163 --> 00:05:43,342
than watch the fucking Notebook.
136
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,985
- I would rather have
my Catholic grandmother
137
00:05:45,986 --> 00:05:48,569
catch me watching hardcore
138
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:49,622
gay porn
139
00:05:49,623 --> 00:05:51,549
than to watch the
fucking Notebook.
140
00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:53,619
- Gay porn is the best, though.
141
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,004
That's a real romance movie.
142
00:05:55,005 --> 00:05:57,619
- Well, no, watching some twink
143
00:05:57,620 --> 00:06:00,023
get turned out by a
couple of hairy bears,
144
00:06:00,024 --> 00:06:01,339
hot.
145
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,083
- Yeah, take that pig.
146
00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:05,813
- Hey, where's Tanner?
147
00:06:05,814 --> 00:06:07,039
- I don't know, man.
148
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,469
I don't think his fiance
149
00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:10,019
likes him hanging out with me.
150
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:10,853
- Why?
151
00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:12,609
- She treats me like I'm
from Marshal Town, man.
152
00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:15,287
I'm gonna take him out
to the Tiger's Den.
153
00:06:15,288 --> 00:06:17,769
He's gonna get hopped
up on crystal meth,
154
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:19,403
take a swing at a stripper.
155
00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:21,979
- Well, she did have to
pick you guys up last week
156
00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:23,079
at four in the morning.
157
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,010
- It's different man.
158
00:06:24,011 --> 00:06:27,723
Dave's stash makes some
killer Vegas bombs.
159
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,030
Look at you man.
160
00:06:30,031 --> 00:06:31,589
Maybe you're the issue.
161
00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:33,619
Maybe he can't come
here because of you.
162
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:35,203
You look like
163
00:06:35,204 --> 00:06:37,859
the devil wears Tommy Bahama.
164
00:06:37,860 --> 00:06:39,429
- Hey bro,
165
00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:40,529
this shit gets me
anything I want.
166
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:43,480
And you're no peach
yourself either.
167
00:06:43,481 --> 00:06:45,139
- I know.
168
00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:47,123
A grown man wearing
Justin Bieber jacket.
169
00:06:47,124 --> 00:06:49,089
Maybe she's a little bit right.
170
00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:50,199
But still, fuck her.
171
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,200
- Dude,
172
00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:53,329
you tell him to tell her
173
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,639
he's at the real library.
174
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,062
- That's what I'm thinking.
175
00:06:56,063 --> 00:06:58,029
Maybe you she'll
176
00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:59,639
wind up allowing
him to come out.
177
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,400
Maybe he's gonna go
and say he's gonna
178
00:07:01,401 --> 00:07:02,234
I don't know,
179
00:07:02,235 --> 00:07:03,936
get like a boxcar kids
180
00:07:03,937 --> 00:07:06,462
novel, or Sweet Valley High.
181
00:07:06,463 --> 00:07:09,899
Hey, have we had this
conversation before?
182
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,439
- Matt,
183
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,819
we have this conversation
184
00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:13,670
every time.
185
00:07:13,671 --> 00:07:14,961
- Tanner's fiance's a bitch.
186
00:07:14,962 --> 00:07:17,089
- Major bitch.
187
00:07:17,090 --> 00:07:18,679
She's says that Tanner can't
come down here anymore
188
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,219
because she doesn't want
him hanging around.
189
00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,210
Mr. Lance.
190
00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:23,843
- Oh, she said Jeff
Lance is a misogynist.
191
00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:25,973
- What a dumb clam.
192
00:07:25,974 --> 00:07:27,523
I don't even know gymnastics.
193
00:07:28,357 --> 00:07:29,190
- No, dude.
194
00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:30,659
That's a contortionist.
195
00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:32,419
- What the hell's a misogynist?
196
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:34,219
- It's a man who's
prejudice against women,
197
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,639
thinks that they're inferior.
198
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:36,473
- Doesn't she know
199
00:07:36,474 --> 00:07:37,938
that I'm Jeff Lance?
200
00:07:37,939 --> 00:07:39,459
I love women.
201
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,659
- That's right man.
202
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,419
You love women.
203
00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:45,123
You're Jeff Lance.
204
00:07:45,124 --> 00:07:48,009
You don't treat women
like an object.
205
00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:50,539
They treat you like an object.
206
00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:51,579
- I know.
207
00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:52,959
I'm actually sensitive.
208
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,179
I have feelings.
209
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:55,722
I want to be held
and listened to
210
00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:57,083
like a puppy.
211
00:07:58,580 --> 00:07:59,580
- You know what,
212
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,213
I'm gonna text Tanner,
213
00:08:02,213 --> 00:08:03,213
tell him
214
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,189
hey,
215
00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:07,349
tell your fiance
216
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:08,680
that Jeff says
217
00:08:08,681 --> 00:08:12,339
misogynists is an
awfully big word
218
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,689
for such a little girl.
219
00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:15,993
And send.
220
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,529
- Dude, that's something
a misogynist would say.
221
00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:21,149
- Exactly.
222
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,360
- Funny, bro.
223
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,862
- Don't worry about it.
224
00:08:24,863 --> 00:08:25,696
She doesn't it to everyone.
225
00:08:25,697 --> 00:08:27,479
- Yeah, she calls
everyone sexist,
226
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,400
racist,
227
00:08:28,401 --> 00:08:29,459
homophobe.
228
00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:30,929
You name it.
229
00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,803
- Small minds do
it all the time.
230
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,379
Sexist.
231
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,213
Homophobe.
232
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,429
Racist.
233
00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:38,178
Vocal trump cards
for the idiots.
234
00:08:38,179 --> 00:08:40,622
- You are a little
antisemitic at times.
235
00:08:40,623 --> 00:08:42,439
- Don't worry, Matt,
236
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,433
the Jews will not replace you.
237
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,720
- Hey.
238
00:08:48,739 --> 00:08:50,759
Got a text from Tanner.
239
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,194
His fiance says she
will let us come over,
240
00:08:53,195 --> 00:08:55,089
but for just one drink.
241
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:58,149
And we have to have
it in the driveway.
242
00:08:58,150 --> 00:08:59,219
- In the driveway?
243
00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:00,839
It's like on King of the Hill,
244
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,061
Dammit Bobby.
245
00:09:02,062 --> 00:09:04,200
The Fiance is such a bitch.
246
00:09:04,201 --> 00:09:06,637
- Yeah man, I don't
know what you mean man.
247
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:10,637
You know what, fuck it.
248
00:09:10,638 --> 00:09:11,471
Let's have shots.
249
00:09:11,472 --> 00:09:12,675
- Shots.
250
00:09:12,676 --> 00:09:13,676
- Shots.
251
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,089
You ever know about Toby Huss?
252
00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,333
Actor from Marshalltown?
253
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,879
Played the voices of Kahn
254
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,253
and Grampaw Hill.
255
00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:28,939
So anyway,
256
00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:29,910
he was up for the part
257
00:09:29,911 --> 00:09:32,317
of Mr. Miyagi,
258
00:09:32,318 --> 00:09:34,559
and he showed up to
the first audition
259
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:36,919
piss drunk and did
the most racist,
260
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,049
asian voice he possibly could,
261
00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:41,114
and got brought back for
the second audition.
262
00:09:41,115 --> 00:09:43,149
In his second audition,
263
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,760
he came in sober,
264
00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:46,397
lost the part.
265
00:09:46,398 --> 00:09:48,499
- So dude, where you headed?
266
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,333
Waterloo?
267
00:09:49,334 --> 00:09:50,739
- Sierra Falls.
268
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:52,018
I'm fucking with you.
269
00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:06,360
♪ The hate you
fought for reason ♪
270
00:10:06,361 --> 00:10:09,298
♪ Found out your faults ♪
271
00:10:09,299 --> 00:10:10,440
♪ Hide behind ♪
272
00:10:10,441 --> 00:10:14,818
♪ The picture perfect lights ♪
273
00:10:14,819 --> 00:10:17,637
♪ The times you in the corner ♪
274
00:10:17,638 --> 00:10:19,197
♪ Dusting for fingerprints ♪
275
00:10:19,198 --> 00:10:20,738
♪ From cages painted pretty ♪
276
00:10:20,739 --> 00:10:24,781
♪ Pictures of your sins ♪
277
00:10:24,782 --> 00:10:27,896
♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪
278
00:10:27,897 --> 00:10:30,416
♪ Give what you can give ♪
279
00:10:30,417 --> 00:10:32,498
♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪
280
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,178
♪ Hit them with ♪
281
00:10:34,179 --> 00:10:35,273
♪ What to give ♪
282
00:10:35,274 --> 00:10:36,896
♪ Alright ♪
283
00:10:56,398 --> 00:10:58,477
♪ Put on-on-on the table ♪
284
00:10:58,478 --> 00:11:01,138
♪ Watch for shifty eyes ♪
285
00:11:01,139 --> 00:11:02,680
♪ Serving cold revenge ♪
286
00:11:02,681 --> 00:11:06,850
♪ With the side of spite ♪
287
00:11:06,851 --> 00:11:08,972
♪ Satisfaction don't come easy ♪
288
00:11:08,973 --> 00:11:11,532
♪ But to take it all with ease ♪
289
00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:13,330
♪ With our guests, them guests ♪
290
00:11:13,331 --> 00:11:17,170
♪ I'll just better leave ♪
291
00:11:17,171 --> 00:11:19,948
♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪
292
00:11:19,949 --> 00:11:22,551
♪ Give what you can give ♪
293
00:11:22,552 --> 00:11:25,212
♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪
294
00:11:25,213 --> 00:11:26,627
♪ Hit them with ♪
295
00:11:26,628 --> 00:11:27,650
♪ What they give ♪
296
00:11:27,651 --> 00:11:29,148
♪ Alright ♪
297
00:11:29,149 --> 00:11:30,652
♪ Ignorance ♪
298
00:11:30,653 --> 00:11:34,370
♪ Hit them with ♪
299
00:11:34,371 --> 00:11:37,121
♪ What they give ♪
300
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,849
- Pro-wrestling was a staple
301
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:42,039
in every kid's lives
at some point.
302
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,319
There's three
303
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,170
prestigious
304
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,859
pro-wrestling hall of
fame's in America.
305
00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:48,311
Cauliflower Alley Club,
306
00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:50,108
WWE,
307
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,419
George Tragos,
308
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,659
Lou Thesz Pro Wrestling
Hall of Fame.
309
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,179
That one is held here
310
00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:56,413
in Waterloo, Iowa.
311
00:11:58,290 --> 00:11:59,123
Former inductees are,
312
00:11:59,124 --> 00:12:00,619
Mick Foley,
313
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:01,819
Edge,
314
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:03,169
Kurt Angle,
315
00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:04,829
Iron Sheik,
316
00:12:04,830 --> 00:12:06,249
Jim Ross,
317
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,689
Terry Funk,
318
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:09,969
Rowdy Rowdy Piper.
319
00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:12,485
The Million Dollar
Man, Ted Dibiase,
320
00:12:12,486 --> 00:12:14,749
the excellence of execution,
321
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,023
Bret "The Hitman" Hart,
322
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:18,059
and even the governor,
323
00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,683
Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
324
00:12:20,626 --> 00:12:21,759
But the one,
325
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,829
the one that always stuck
with me and my friends,
326
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:24,663
the man,
327
00:12:24,664 --> 00:12:25,969
spent more money
328
00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:27,629
on spilled liqueur
329
00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:29,939
from all ends of the
world in one year
330
00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:32,329
that you'll ever
make in a lifetime.
331
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:34,287
I'm talking about
the kiss stealing,
332
00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:35,889
the wheeling, dealing,
333
00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:37,627
Rolex wearing,
334
00:12:37,628 --> 00:12:39,849
limonene riding,
335
00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:42,233
jet flying son of a gun,
336
00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:45,039
the nature boy,
337
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,040
limonene Flair.
338
00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,050
Woo.
339
00:12:51,986 --> 00:12:53,007
- I was in there
340
00:12:53,008 --> 00:12:53,841
cause I'm loud in there,
341
00:12:53,842 --> 00:12:55,766
and I saw you out here
just bumming around.
342
00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,569
I landed you a ticket.
343
00:13:04,570 --> 00:13:05,825
- Dude.
344
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,526
When the fuck did you
become a pro-wrestler?
345
00:13:07,527 --> 00:13:08,669
- Since 2010.
346
00:13:08,670 --> 00:13:10,326
You know that.
347
00:13:10,327 --> 00:13:11,649
Dipshit.
348
00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:12,705
- Jesus Christ.
349
00:13:12,706 --> 00:13:13,728
That's awesome.
350
00:13:13,729 --> 00:13:15,099
- Yeah, you can get one $20.
351
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,449
No, you know what,
352
00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:17,447
friends and family discount,
353
00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:18,280
30.
354
00:13:18,281 --> 00:13:19,669
Yeah.
355
00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:20,869
- Fucking A.
356
00:13:20,870 --> 00:13:21,730
- Drinks after?
357
00:13:21,731 --> 00:13:22,830
- Drinks after.
358
00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:44,529
- Our boy, Frisco.
359
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:46,129
And the monster,
360
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:47,130
Malice.
361
00:14:00,128 --> 00:14:01,127
Wrestling fans,
362
00:14:01,127 --> 00:14:02,127
our winners.
363
00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:05,907
Wrestling tag team champions,
364
00:14:06,908 --> 00:14:08,864
the team of,
365
00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:09,865
and Malice.
366
00:14:31,426 --> 00:14:33,766
♪ I was pouring myself
a stiff drink ♪
367
00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:35,867
♪ At Christmas ♪
368
00:14:35,868 --> 00:14:37,846
♪ Eve ♪
369
00:14:37,847 --> 00:14:40,667
♪ You was looking at me ♪
370
00:14:40,668 --> 00:14:42,423
♪ Like I should ♪
371
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,425
♪ Go ♪
372
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,867
♪ You think by now when see ♪
373
00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:50,187
♪ That bottle ♪
374
00:14:50,188 --> 00:14:52,587
♪ You should know ♪
375
00:14:52,588 --> 00:14:55,627
♪ We're not walking sideways ♪
376
00:14:55,628 --> 00:15:00,628
♪ I ain't trying to
steal the show ♪
377
00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:04,049
♪ Where I drink ♪
378
00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:05,745
♪ So I drank ♪
379
00:15:05,746 --> 00:15:08,129
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
380
00:15:08,130 --> 00:15:10,065
♪ Bottoms up ♪
381
00:15:10,066 --> 00:15:11,729
♪ Well I drink ♪
382
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:13,547
♪ So I drank ♪
383
00:15:13,548 --> 00:15:14,865
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
384
00:15:14,866 --> 00:15:17,707
♪ Bottoms up ♪
385
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:21,206
♪ I was watching the
game at the bar ♪
386
00:15:21,207 --> 00:15:23,345
♪ Last Monday ♪
387
00:15:23,346 --> 00:15:24,999
♪ Night ♪
388
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,209
- Guys, how was it?
389
00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:27,947
- Better than Bros.
390
00:15:27,948 --> 00:15:30,264
♪ It was time to ♪
391
00:15:30,265 --> 00:15:32,849
♪ Go ♪
392
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,086
♪ But my friends are here ♪
393
00:15:34,087 --> 00:15:36,246
♪ And there's lots of beer ♪
394
00:15:36,247 --> 00:15:38,171
♪ And the post game ♪
395
00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:39,606
♪ Show ♪
396
00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:43,066
♪ So before you get
mad at me later ♪
397
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:48,067
♪ Just remember that
I told you so ♪
398
00:15:50,007 --> 00:15:51,663
♪ Well I drink ♪
399
00:15:51,664 --> 00:15:53,329
♪ So I drank ♪
400
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:55,286
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
401
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,765
♪ Bottoms up ♪
402
00:15:57,766 --> 00:15:59,409
♪ Well I drink ♪
403
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:01,307
♪ So I drank ♪
404
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,297
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
405
00:16:03,298 --> 00:16:05,382
♪ Bottoms up ♪
406
00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:07,249
♪ Well I drink ♪
407
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,184
♪ So I drank ♪
408
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,784
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
409
00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:12,883
♪ Bottoms up ♪
410
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:16,504
♪ Well I drink ♪
411
00:16:16,505 --> 00:16:19,203
♪ So I drank ♪
412
00:16:19,204 --> 00:16:21,043
♪ Just like Hank ♪
413
00:16:21,044 --> 00:16:26,044
♪ Now I'm ♪
414
00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:31,723
♪ Drunk, again ♪
415
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:36,150
- Firewater,
416
00:16:36,151 --> 00:16:37,569
a bar that is one block
417
00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:39,639
from the Sullivan
brother's center.
418
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,979
On stage right now,
419
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:42,709
Pamela the Punisher poet.
420
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,359
The only dominatrix poet
421
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,159
to ever make it.
422
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,089
And, her sidekick,
423
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,923
our good friend Sam the Slave.
424
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,520
- Ode to the little piggy,
425
00:16:54,521 --> 00:16:58,344
dirty, nasty little piggy.
426
00:16:58,345 --> 00:16:59,942
I'm going to make you mine
427
00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:02,600
so get on your knees
428
00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:05,022
and whine, you nasty swine.
429
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:06,702
I am Pamela,
430
00:17:06,703 --> 00:17:08,136
the Punisher poet.
431
00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,720
And you're just my little piggy
432
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,701
and everyone's going to know it.
433
00:17:13,702 --> 00:17:18,200
I am the only dominatrix
poet to ever make it
434
00:17:18,201 --> 00:17:21,662
so get on your knees
you nasty little pig
435
00:17:21,663 --> 00:17:22,663
and take it.
436
00:17:31,945 --> 00:17:32,960
- I love Pamela the Punisher.
437
00:17:32,961 --> 00:17:33,961
I love poetry.
438
00:17:33,962 --> 00:17:36,024
You girls have boyfriends?
439
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,440
- Yes.
440
00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:46,459
Fantastic.
441
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,633
I love you Pamela
the Poet Punisher.
442
00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:53,969
- Rutro.
443
00:17:53,970 --> 00:17:55,629
Where's Scooby and the gang?
444
00:17:55,630 --> 00:17:57,182
- Solve any mysteries lately?
445
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,039
- No, not,
446
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,669
not today.
447
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:07,503
Why?
448
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,550
- Is your mom picking you up
from little league later?
449
00:18:09,551 --> 00:18:12,489
- I'm in a league.
450
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:15,083
- Is your priest
still molesting you?
451
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:20,269
- You look like Lance
Armstrong without the roids.
452
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:21,539
- You look like Tom Hanks
453
00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:23,059
and the end of Philadelphia.
454
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,983
- You look like Chaz Bono
in a fun house mirror.
455
00:18:29,892 --> 00:18:31,379
- Sam.
456
00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:32,332
What's up man, how's it going?
457
00:18:32,332 --> 00:18:33,332
- Good.
458
00:18:34,910 --> 00:18:36,269
Yeah, could I get
a scotch please?
459
00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:37,260
- Yeah, put that one on me.
460
00:18:37,261 --> 00:18:39,619
- Classy as always, sir.
461
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:40,460
Dude, how's it going man?
462
00:18:40,461 --> 00:18:41,934
Where's Tanner at?
463
00:18:41,935 --> 00:18:43,971
- He's with his fiance, man.
464
00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:46,889
- Well that's what
happens, right.
465
00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:47,971
You get older.
466
00:18:47,972 --> 00:18:49,672
You get kids.
467
00:18:49,673 --> 00:18:52,703
Got a nice wife, I guess.
468
00:18:56,528 --> 00:18:59,199
Or you can just be the guy
drinking alone at the bar.
469
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,200
- Yeah.
470
00:19:01,589 --> 00:19:02,649
- Right.
471
00:19:02,650 --> 00:19:03,620
- Yeah, yeah.
472
00:19:03,621 --> 00:19:05,315
Apparently right now,
473
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:06,313
he's two knuckles deep
474
00:19:06,314 --> 00:19:07,912
in a game of scrabble
with his finance.
475
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:09,873
- Scrabble.
476
00:19:09,874 --> 00:19:11,869
Don't you have to know
words for scrabble?
477
00:19:11,870 --> 00:19:12,703
- Yeah.
478
00:19:12,704 --> 00:19:14,552
You know that guy's just
playing idiotic stuff.
479
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:16,019
He's probably
sitting there bored
480
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,989
making houses and
stuff like that.
481
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,331
- Fucking lame crap.
482
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:20,729
- Idiot.
483
00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:22,029
He's gonna play like this,
484
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:22,970
they, them,
485
00:19:22,971 --> 00:19:25,007
it, as, and,
486
00:19:25,008 --> 00:19:25,841
an,
487
00:19:25,842 --> 00:19:27,509
and then do the D.
488
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:29,119
And then yeah, you know
he's gonna get to there
489
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,929
and have like the wrong one.
490
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:32,376
Like he's gonna go
ahead and say ah,
491
00:19:32,377 --> 00:19:33,399
this means
492
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,390
they are, right.
493
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:35,223
They are, right.
494
00:19:35,223 --> 00:19:36,140
He's gonna be asking.
495
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:38,890
- His fiance has to be having
the worst time right now.
496
00:19:43,092 --> 00:19:44,092
- Well, woo.
497
00:19:45,113 --> 00:19:46,566
Look what he just played.
498
00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:49,299
Actually, Tanner is
playing scrabble
499
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:50,133
with is fiance
500
00:19:50,134 --> 00:19:51,563
with a bunch of her friends.
501
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,829
She spelled Fount,
502
00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:55,859
which earned her
503
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:56,983
24 points.
504
00:19:58,210 --> 00:19:59,210
She was quite proud.
505
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,119
Tanner had a word too.
506
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,649
His fiance kept pestering him
507
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,293
on his vocabulary all night.
508
00:20:09,193 --> 00:20:10,191
Starts with a Q.
509
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:11,192
That earned him
510
00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:12,130
triple letter score.
511
00:20:12,131 --> 00:20:14,309
So guess what Tanner's word is.
512
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,359
I'll give you a few hints.
513
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:17,310
Muff grunt,
514
00:20:17,311 --> 00:20:18,899
box burp,
515
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:19,746
sliz sneeze,
516
00:20:19,747 --> 00:20:21,799
womb wheeze,
517
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,828
cunt cough.
518
00:20:23,829 --> 00:20:25,489
That's right.
519
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,313
Tanner's word is Queef.
520
00:20:27,314 --> 00:20:28,679
And if you're still lost,
521
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,273
Google pussy fart.
522
00:20:30,274 --> 00:20:33,829
Queef earned Tanner 63
points total on the word
523
00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:35,099
and gave him the lead.
524
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,719
His finance was pissed.
525
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,871
But her Ceder Falls
friends were impressed,
526
00:20:38,872 --> 00:20:40,849
and also laughing so hard
527
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:43,329
that Tanner's finally
in with them.
528
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:44,919
Just goes to show you
529
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,089
everyone comes together
530
00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:47,429
at a campground
531
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,031
over a twat tune.
532
00:20:49,032 --> 00:20:52,369
- Triple letter score
on the letter Q, nice.
533
00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:53,203
- Nice.
534
00:20:53,204 --> 00:20:55,329
He's putting that extra
chromosome to use.
535
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:58,030
- I'll drink my scotch to that.
536
00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:02,059
- I'm telling you guys,
537
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:03,849
Jeff Lance is my real father.
538
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:04,683
I know it.
539
00:21:04,684 --> 00:21:05,749
- He went in with your mom
540
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:06,889
when he was 12 years old,
541
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:08,385
you do realize this.
542
00:21:08,386 --> 00:21:09,220
- That's what I'm saying.
543
00:21:09,221 --> 00:21:11,687
She had Jeff in class
when he was 12.
544
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,842
- That means your mom's
a child molester.
545
00:21:13,843 --> 00:21:17,505
- Yes, but my real
father's a stud.
546
00:21:17,506 --> 00:21:18,339
- Well, it makes sense.
547
00:21:18,340 --> 00:21:19,745
You do like raw
dogging the strange.
548
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,259
- Patrick Plumly.
549
00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:25,649
He owns On The Rocks,
550
00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:28,268
a bar with over 15
different Moscow mules,
551
00:21:28,269 --> 00:21:30,499
eight craft beers on tap,
552
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:32,150
and even more
bottled and canned.
553
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,619
A place like On The
Rocks is a staple
554
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:35,920
in the Waterloo nightlife.
555
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:38,899
Come have some of
the best drinks,
556
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,999
cocktails, beers in the
whole Ceder Valley
557
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,939
all while taking in some artwork
558
00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:45,043
of a vintage Waterloo.
559
00:21:51,154 --> 00:21:52,140
The Dipshit Twins,
560
00:21:52,141 --> 00:21:53,847
the smartest guys in the valley.
561
00:21:53,848 --> 00:21:56,908
They received the highest marks
at Iowa State University.
562
00:21:56,909 --> 00:22:00,679
Later, they attended both
Columbia and Harvard.
563
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,159
Inspired by their heroes,
564
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,549
Neil Degrasse Tyson
565
00:22:03,550 --> 00:22:04,573
and Carl Sagan.
566
00:22:06,182 --> 00:22:07,015
But like any other genius,
567
00:22:07,016 --> 00:22:08,149
if you want to throw them off,
568
00:22:08,150 --> 00:22:09,809
get them on a sex topic.
569
00:22:09,810 --> 00:22:12,209
It totally throws a genius off.
570
00:22:12,210 --> 00:22:14,519
Einstein can come up with
a theory of relativity,
571
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,729
but ask that
non-practicing Jew krout
572
00:22:16,730 --> 00:22:18,829
to find the G spot on a woman,
573
00:22:18,830 --> 00:22:20,739
and he will be more shaken
574
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,439
than Richard Spencer
575
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,763
asking for directions in a KFC
576
00:22:24,764 --> 00:22:25,650
on the southside of Chicago.
577
00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:26,650
- You know,
578
00:22:27,622 --> 00:22:28,666
I was thinking
579
00:22:28,667 --> 00:22:31,424
on the topic of
black holes again.
580
00:22:31,425 --> 00:22:33,229
- Here we go.
581
00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:34,899
- We do not know
582
00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:36,864
what laws of physics apply
within a black hole.
583
00:22:36,865 --> 00:22:38,864
We just don't.
584
00:22:38,865 --> 00:22:40,466
We're applying standard
laws of physics,
585
00:22:40,467 --> 00:22:41,809
but they can't apply there.
586
00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:42,810
They can't.
587
00:22:43,484 --> 00:22:44,484
- Again,
588
00:22:45,265 --> 00:22:46,549
the standard laws of physics
589
00:22:46,550 --> 00:22:48,299
can apply to a black hole
590
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,109
if there is any presence
591
00:22:50,110 --> 00:22:51,769
of something here on earth
592
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:53,229
such as
593
00:22:53,230 --> 00:22:54,200
gravity.
594
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,033
- Gravity.
595
00:22:55,034 --> 00:22:57,200
Oh, so that's what
Google was talking about
596
00:22:57,201 --> 00:22:58,379
when I looked it up earlier.
597
00:22:58,380 --> 00:22:59,213
- Yes,
598
00:22:59,214 --> 00:23:02,129
the same gravity that
takes this beautiful dart
599
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,100
to the black
600
00:23:03,101 --> 00:23:04,699
hole of that
601
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:07,189
gaping bullseye.
602
00:23:07,190 --> 00:23:08,369
Right in the center.
603
00:23:08,370 --> 00:23:09,370
Don't look.
604
00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:11,859
- Well,
605
00:23:11,860 --> 00:23:13,099
- Jesus Christ.
606
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:16,320
What in the world of Breaking
Bad biology did I walk in on?
607
00:23:16,321 --> 00:23:18,253
- Matt.
608
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,003
- You nerds talking about.
609
00:23:21,004 --> 00:23:23,519
Black holes again?
610
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,189
- Just because we
identify as nerds
611
00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:26,969
doesn't mean you
can call us nerds.
612
00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,109
We can call each other nerds.
613
00:23:28,110 --> 00:23:29,539
You can't call us nerds.
614
00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:30,520
Nerd.
615
00:23:30,521 --> 00:23:32,079
- Hey, nerd.
616
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:32,913
- Hey.
617
00:23:32,914 --> 00:23:34,399
- Yes, we're talking
about black holes.
618
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,249
- Man, you guys talk
about black holes
619
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,995
more than Robert Pinero.
620
00:23:37,996 --> 00:23:41,949
- Hold on.
621
00:23:41,950 --> 00:23:43,883
He's doing that
comedy thing again.
622
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,439
Because
623
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,340
Robert De Niro,
624
00:23:47,341 --> 00:23:48,821
Bobby as I call him,
625
00:23:48,822 --> 00:23:50,989
he likes black women.
626
00:23:50,990 --> 00:23:52,304
So that is funny.
627
00:23:53,590 --> 00:23:54,530
- Bobby of Niro
628
00:23:54,531 --> 00:23:56,064
likes black.
629
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:00,959
- Jesus guys.
630
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:01,963
Seriously.
631
00:24:01,964 --> 00:24:02,961
But I'll play along.
632
00:24:02,962 --> 00:24:04,384
- Oh.
633
00:24:04,385 --> 00:24:05,382
- So,
634
00:24:05,382 --> 00:24:06,215
let's just say the guy
particle accelerator
635
00:24:06,216 --> 00:24:08,779
and taken out all these
mini black holes.
636
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,400
- Yes, you're
speaking my language.
637
00:24:10,401 --> 00:24:13,619
- They go ahead and toss us
638
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,563
into the Mandela Effect.
639
00:24:15,564 --> 00:24:17,986
Mandela Effect.
640
00:24:17,987 --> 00:24:20,829
The Mandela Effect refers to
an enlarged number of people
641
00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:22,349
share a false memory,
642
00:24:22,350 --> 00:24:24,659
originally attributed
to the existence
643
00:24:24,660 --> 00:24:26,239
of multiple universes.
644
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,840
Are we currently residing in it?
645
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,944
- Let's see.
646
00:24:36,588 --> 00:24:37,522
Answer the question.
647
00:24:37,523 --> 00:24:38,544
- Bernstein.
648
00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:41,184
I guess you could
be a possibility.
649
00:24:41,185 --> 00:24:42,393
Next question.
650
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,205
- It could be a possibility.
651
00:24:45,206 --> 00:24:46,729
- But.
652
00:24:46,730 --> 00:24:49,205
- If only you were to believe in
653
00:24:49,206 --> 00:24:51,159
alternate timelines.
654
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,969
Or I don't know,
655
00:24:52,970 --> 00:24:54,029
maybe something
656
00:24:54,030 --> 00:24:55,905
like alternate universes.
657
00:24:57,321 --> 00:24:58,839
A bubble universe.
658
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:00,800
- I get it.
659
00:25:01,581 --> 00:25:02,585
Like Rick and Morty, right.
660
00:25:02,586 --> 00:25:05,109
- No, I don't like
Rick and Morty.
661
00:25:05,110 --> 00:25:06,539
It's too smart for me.
662
00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:07,899
Make my brain hurt.
663
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:08,900
- Pickle.
664
00:25:10,188 --> 00:25:11,867
- Pickle dick.
665
00:25:11,868 --> 00:25:12,969
Ow.
666
00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:14,319
- It's pickle Rick.
667
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,085
I got another question
for you guys.
668
00:25:16,086 --> 00:25:17,979
You think
669
00:25:17,980 --> 00:25:19,563
- because.
- Yes.
670
00:25:19,564 --> 00:25:20,959
- These black holes opening,
671
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,264
toss us into an
alternate universe
672
00:25:23,265 --> 00:25:25,422
within ourselves
673
00:25:25,423 --> 00:25:29,109
that we actually have
non binary people.
674
00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:31,638
People who do not identify
675
00:25:31,639 --> 00:25:33,359
as either gender,
676
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,779
nor masculine, nor feminine.
677
00:25:35,780 --> 00:25:38,363
That they see neither of them.
678
00:25:38,364 --> 00:25:42,609
That however they exist
outside the binary,
679
00:25:42,610 --> 00:25:45,639
and outside the cis normativity.
680
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,199
I'm telling you some people
681
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,549
do not see gender, but just see
682
00:25:49,550 --> 00:25:53,269
who they actually
are as a person.
683
00:25:53,270 --> 00:25:54,763
- See people.
684
00:25:54,764 --> 00:25:59,063
I've been to 17
different colleges.
685
00:26:02,210 --> 00:26:03,558
- Dizzy.
686
00:26:03,559 --> 00:26:04,929
Matt,
687
00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:08,622
what the fuck are you
talking about man?
688
00:26:08,623 --> 00:26:09,703
- Yeah.
689
00:26:09,704 --> 00:26:11,845
What are you saying?
690
00:26:11,846 --> 00:26:12,928
- I'm just saying
691
00:26:12,929 --> 00:26:14,369
these people don't see gender.
692
00:26:14,370 --> 00:26:16,085
- You're hurting
Dipshitowits one.
693
00:26:16,086 --> 00:26:17,733
- Shut up, Dipshitowits two.
694
00:26:18,806 --> 00:26:21,785
- How can you not see gender?
695
00:26:21,786 --> 00:26:22,786
That's
696
00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:25,259
all you can see when
you're doing it.
697
00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:26,130
Look,
698
00:26:26,131 --> 00:26:27,808
hey, hey, hey.
699
00:26:27,809 --> 00:26:29,327
Honk, honk.
700
00:26:29,328 --> 00:26:30,849
Honk, honk.
701
00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:31,750
- It's all you can see.
702
00:26:31,751 --> 00:26:34,347
It's all you can see.
703
00:26:34,348 --> 00:26:36,805
- Hey, hey, gender, gender,
704
00:26:36,806 --> 00:26:38,059
gender, gender.
705
00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:39,803
Hey, hey, hey.
706
00:26:39,804 --> 00:26:40,957
- Let's put it,
707
00:26:40,958 --> 00:26:41,934
hey,
708
00:26:41,935 --> 00:26:43,032
hey.
709
00:26:43,033 --> 00:26:44,471
- Hey.
- I'm doing both parts.
710
00:26:44,472 --> 00:26:45,305
Hey.
711
00:26:45,306 --> 00:26:46,309
What?
712
00:26:46,310 --> 00:26:48,019
- You're gonna get
us kicked out again.
713
00:26:48,020 --> 00:26:48,913
- Sorry.
714
00:26:48,913 --> 00:26:49,746
Sorry.
715
00:26:49,746 --> 00:26:50,579
- What are you gonna do?
716
00:26:50,580 --> 00:26:52,432
Oh yeah, here's a big seven inch
717
00:26:52,433 --> 00:26:54,229
dark and red veiny,
718
00:26:54,230 --> 00:26:55,439
sweaty,
719
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,552
smelly non-binary.
720
00:26:57,553 --> 00:26:59,232
- It's my big,
721
00:26:59,233 --> 00:27:00,592
huge,
722
00:27:00,593 --> 00:27:01,593
two inches,
723
00:27:02,593 --> 00:27:03,595
give or take
724
00:27:03,596 --> 00:27:04,875
veiny.
725
00:27:04,876 --> 00:27:06,192
Looks almost like...
726
00:27:06,193 --> 00:27:08,693
- Big, huge,
727
00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:09,915
two inches?
728
00:27:09,916 --> 00:27:11,195
- Go.
729
00:27:11,196 --> 00:27:12,210
- I mean,
730
00:27:12,211 --> 00:27:13,413
I don't think they see it
kind of that way boys.
731
00:27:13,414 --> 00:27:15,709
- Well you sometimes
you need a microscope,
732
00:27:15,710 --> 00:27:16,852
but you can see it that way.
733
00:27:16,853 --> 00:27:17,810
- You can see it.
734
00:27:17,811 --> 00:27:19,289
I've looked.
735
00:27:19,290 --> 00:27:20,869
Scientific curiosity.
736
00:27:20,870 --> 00:27:21,870
Nothing weird.
737
00:27:23,230 --> 00:27:24,832
Look, Matt,
738
00:27:24,833 --> 00:27:26,299
let's put it in dummy language.
739
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:28,213
- Yeah, we're the Dipshits.
740
00:27:28,214 --> 00:27:29,712
Sure.
741
00:27:30,546 --> 00:27:31,379
- There's no denying dick.
742
00:27:31,379 --> 00:27:32,212
- Yeah.
743
00:27:32,212 --> 00:27:33,045
- There's no denying dick.
744
00:27:33,046 --> 00:27:34,295
There's no denying dick.
745
00:27:34,296 --> 00:27:35,878
There's no denying dick.
746
00:27:35,879 --> 00:27:37,296
There's no denying dick.
747
00:27:37,297 --> 00:27:38,714
There's no denying dick.
748
00:27:38,715 --> 00:27:40,219
There's no denying dick.
749
00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:41,675
There's no denying dick.
750
00:27:41,676 --> 00:27:42,676
There's no.
751
00:27:43,478 --> 00:27:44,555
- You know what.
752
00:27:44,556 --> 00:27:45,595
- What?
753
00:27:45,596 --> 00:27:46,429
- Let's go home.
754
00:27:46,429 --> 00:27:47,396
- Yeah.
755
00:27:47,397 --> 00:27:48,418
- Get the whiteboard out,
756
00:27:48,419 --> 00:27:49,659
put some fricking Windex on it.
757
00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:55,239
And then we're gonna
figure this out
758
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,009
for once and for all.
759
00:27:58,010 --> 00:27:58,843
- Yeah Matt.
760
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:00,958
You're such a fricking A-hole.
761
00:28:00,959 --> 00:28:03,139
Pardon my language, but
762
00:28:03,140 --> 00:28:04,020
we're trying to
763
00:28:04,021 --> 00:28:05,838
go on solve
764
00:28:05,839 --> 00:28:06,672
the straight dairy problem.
765
00:28:06,673 --> 00:28:08,456
Now you got me all twisted up.
766
00:28:08,457 --> 00:28:09,624
Now we have to
767
00:28:10,614 --> 00:28:11,729
fricking solve
768
00:28:11,730 --> 00:28:12,879
non-binary.
769
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,689
- Computer scientists.
770
00:28:14,690 --> 00:28:15,690
Let's go.
771
00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:20,862
- A couple of science nerds,
772
00:28:20,863 --> 00:28:22,449
they're not very PC.
773
00:28:22,450 --> 00:28:23,450
Indepedent film.
774
00:28:24,639 --> 00:28:27,420
They must have meant
Independent film.
775
00:28:27,421 --> 00:28:30,958
The Mandela Effect.
776
00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:31,830
But an Independent film
777
00:28:31,831 --> 00:28:33,400
set in Waterloo, Iowa
778
00:28:33,401 --> 00:28:35,502
named Bros.
779
00:28:35,503 --> 00:28:37,023
Oh man, that's got to suck.
780
00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:39,300
- You running off
my customers again?
781
00:28:39,301 --> 00:28:40,939
- Come on man, they were
just gonna drink up
782
00:28:40,940 --> 00:28:42,379
my fucking favorite scotch.
783
00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:43,918
- Doesn't matter.
784
00:28:43,919 --> 00:28:45,036
- Tell you what,
785
00:28:45,037 --> 00:28:47,649
I'm gonna drink the
majority of that bottle
786
00:28:47,650 --> 00:28:49,159
in there anyways.
787
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,640
And they were probably gonna
have a bunch of waters.
788
00:28:51,641 --> 00:28:53,189
It won't matter.
789
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:54,499
They're science dorks.
790
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:55,989
I'm a drunk.
791
00:28:55,990 --> 00:28:56,990
I pay more.
792
00:28:58,340 --> 00:29:00,159
- I love alcoholism.
793
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,676
- Hey, hey,
794
00:29:01,677 --> 00:29:03,039
the Waterloo Manati
meeting just let out?
795
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,099
- Matt, good to see you.
796
00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:05,529
- Good seeing you.
797
00:29:05,530 --> 00:29:07,543
- Where's your buddy, Tanner?
798
00:29:07,544 --> 00:29:09,762
- He's out with his
fiance tonight.
799
00:29:09,763 --> 00:29:10,660
- Yep.
800
00:29:10,661 --> 00:29:13,042
That happens when you get older.
801
00:29:13,043 --> 00:29:14,802
People, they get married.
802
00:29:14,803 --> 00:29:15,803
They have kids.
803
00:29:16,570 --> 00:29:18,061
Be happy for your friend.
804
00:29:18,062 --> 00:29:20,289
- Yeah, speaking of which,
805
00:29:20,290 --> 00:29:21,866
he's playing scrabble with her.
806
00:29:21,867 --> 00:29:24,301
Check out the word he played.
807
00:29:24,302 --> 00:29:25,789
- Oh, yeah.
808
00:29:25,790 --> 00:29:27,529
That's nice placement
there on that Q.
809
00:29:27,530 --> 00:29:29,063
Triple letter score.
810
00:29:29,064 --> 00:29:30,719
63 points.
811
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:31,793
Very nice.
812
00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:33,989
- Yeah.
813
00:29:33,990 --> 00:29:35,090
I hate drinking alone.
814
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,959
- Eat your bread
815
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,839
with joy and drink your wine
816
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:42,849
with a merry heart,
817
00:29:42,850 --> 00:29:44,639
for god has already approved
818
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,079
what you do.
819
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,199
- That's beautiful.
820
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,679
Who's that?
821
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:49,703
Luke Bryant?
822
00:29:49,704 --> 00:29:50,702
Kanye West?
823
00:29:50,703 --> 00:29:52,019
- It's Ecclesiastes nine seven.
824
00:29:52,020 --> 00:29:53,202
It's from the bible.
825
00:29:53,203 --> 00:29:54,269
- Yeah.
826
00:29:54,270 --> 00:29:56,381
I always try to give musicians
way too much credit.
827
00:29:56,382 --> 00:29:59,076
- Let me ask you something,
828
00:29:59,077 --> 00:30:00,640
what have you done so far today?
829
00:30:00,641 --> 00:30:02,701
- Well, it started off.
830
00:30:02,702 --> 00:30:04,099
I had some shots with Jeff
Lance at the Library.
831
00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:05,169
I went and saw
832
00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:07,069
pro-wrestling at the
Five Sullivan Center.
833
00:30:07,070 --> 00:30:10,105
And went and saw Pamela The
Punisher Poet next door.
834
00:30:10,106 --> 00:30:11,705
It's been pretty cool.
835
00:30:11,706 --> 00:30:14,849
- All that in the course
of one Saturday afternoon
836
00:30:14,850 --> 00:30:16,105
in the Cedar Valley.
837
00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:17,759
You know,
838
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,879
the Douist define grace
839
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,239
not so much
840
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,399
by the words that you say,
841
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,509
but by your actions,
842
00:30:24,510 --> 00:30:25,343
your movements,
843
00:30:25,344 --> 00:30:26,393
how you live life.
844
00:30:27,330 --> 00:30:30,189
You have more wealth in
these few city blocks
845
00:30:30,190 --> 00:30:31,429
than most people have
846
00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:32,709
anywhere in the world.
847
00:30:32,710 --> 00:30:34,148
Where else,
848
00:30:34,149 --> 00:30:34,982
other than
849
00:30:34,983 --> 00:30:36,148
maybe Las Vegas or something
850
00:30:36,149 --> 00:30:36,982
can you get
851
00:30:36,983 --> 00:30:38,686
a glass of scotch that full?
852
00:30:38,687 --> 00:30:41,979
Be happy for your friends,
853
00:30:41,980 --> 00:30:43,159
for they come and go.
854
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,109
You know they'll always
be those children
855
00:30:46,110 --> 00:30:47,100
and those wives out there.
856
00:30:47,101 --> 00:30:48,129
Be happy for them too
857
00:30:48,130 --> 00:30:50,505
because this too may
come for you someday.
858
00:30:50,506 --> 00:30:51,506
- Yeah.
859
00:30:53,029 --> 00:30:54,228
What if it doesn't?
860
00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:56,239
- Well then you're just
another old guy at a bar.
861
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:57,668
But see that's okay too.
862
00:30:57,669 --> 00:31:01,059
You need to cherish
your memories,
863
00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:02,548
enjoy your scotch,
864
00:31:02,549 --> 00:31:04,925
and remember the five
Sullivan brothers.
865
00:31:04,926 --> 00:31:08,249
They would have loved to be
able to come back to this town
866
00:31:08,250 --> 00:31:11,287
and enjoy it the
way that you have.
867
00:31:11,288 --> 00:31:13,393
- How'd you get so wise?
868
00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:18,429
- I come from Oelwein, Iowa.
869
00:31:18,430 --> 00:31:21,049
Oh hey, I have two tickets
to the court games.
870
00:31:21,050 --> 00:31:24,379
Starts in about 15 minutes.
871
00:31:24,380 --> 00:31:26,099
If you can find somebody
to go with you, great.
872
00:31:26,100 --> 00:31:28,190
If not, then you just
enjoy your evening.
873
00:31:28,191 --> 00:31:30,393
- Thanks man.
874
00:31:31,348 --> 00:31:33,399
I always appreciated
our friendship.
875
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:34,409
- Take care.
876
00:31:34,410 --> 00:31:36,283
Finish that scotch.
877
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,646
- The Cedar Valley court games.
878
00:31:51,647 --> 00:31:55,565
Waterloo's Midwest
professional basketball team.
879
00:31:55,566 --> 00:31:59,509
Actually, the Midwest
professional basketball league
880
00:31:59,510 --> 00:32:00,888
champions.
881
00:32:49,630 --> 00:32:51,225
- Speaking of broke,
882
00:32:51,226 --> 00:32:52,059
do you have enough
money to finish
883
00:32:52,059 --> 00:32:53,059
paying for your haircut?
884
00:32:53,910 --> 00:32:55,145
- I see, it's cool, it's cool.
885
00:32:55,146 --> 00:32:56,148
It's hard out here man.
886
00:32:56,149 --> 00:32:58,889
- You look like Raggedy Anne
after a house fire, man.
887
00:32:58,890 --> 00:33:00,869
- People's hair,
888
00:33:00,870 --> 00:33:02,729
I mean one more hair strand
falls out your hair, man,
889
00:33:02,730 --> 00:33:04,969
you're gonna look like broke
Bruce Willis or something.
890
00:33:04,970 --> 00:33:06,465
I'm just saying.
891
00:33:06,466 --> 00:33:07,966
- Jersey Shore reject.
892
00:33:07,967 --> 00:33:09,447
You look like old Asians.
893
00:33:09,967 --> 00:33:11,780
- Speaking of that,
894
00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:13,099
you sure look like
you came off the gas
895
00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:14,100
golf course seven.
896
00:33:14,101 --> 00:33:15,550
- I did, I see you dad there.
897
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,263
- Speaking of rejects,
898
00:33:18,264 --> 00:33:19,268
like your hairline's
been rejecting
899
00:33:19,269 --> 00:33:20,329
your forehead a little bit.
900
00:33:20,330 --> 00:33:21,609
I don't know what's going on.
901
00:33:21,610 --> 00:33:22,607
- Your hairline look
like a fundraiser.
902
00:33:22,607 --> 00:33:23,607
I'm sorry.
903
00:33:24,826 --> 00:33:25,826
- You guys are black.
904
00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:31,003
- You kind of look like an Oreo.
905
00:33:32,069 --> 00:33:33,129
- A broreo.
906
00:33:33,130 --> 00:33:34,147
- A broreo.
907
00:33:34,148 --> 00:33:35,188
I like that.
908
00:33:35,189 --> 00:33:36,328
I like that, let's toast
to that right there.
909
00:33:36,329 --> 00:33:37,609
- Bros for life.
- Bros for life.
910
00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:43,023
- So I was thinking,
911
00:33:43,024 --> 00:33:44,384
and I think I might
like the sound
912
00:33:45,269 --> 00:33:46,220
of some little feet
pitter pattering.
913
00:33:46,221 --> 00:33:48,229
I think maybe we
should start a family.
914
00:33:48,230 --> 00:33:49,063
- Oh my god.
915
00:33:49,064 --> 00:33:50,719
I love being your wife.
916
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,046
I would make such a great mom.
917
00:33:52,047 --> 00:33:53,189
I would love to have
918
00:33:53,190 --> 00:33:54,569
a little boy or girl with you.
919
00:33:54,570 --> 00:33:55,460
- Okay.
920
00:33:55,461 --> 00:33:56,849
I'll throw away the condoms.
921
00:33:56,850 --> 00:33:57,979
You start taking
your temperature
922
00:33:57,980 --> 00:33:59,089
and charting your days.
923
00:33:59,090 --> 00:34:00,649
And I'll triangulate
the insemination
924
00:34:00,650 --> 00:34:01,679
for the best possible outcome.
925
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,239
- The way you sound it,
926
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,339
it's so dirty.
927
00:34:04,340 --> 00:34:05,340
I love it.
928
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:07,800
- Black Hawk county seat
929
00:34:07,801 --> 00:34:09,609
was originally in Cedar Falls.
930
00:34:09,610 --> 00:34:11,069
- Yeah, and then some
Waterloo residents
931
00:34:11,070 --> 00:34:12,549
went over and seized
the documents
932
00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:14,029
and brought them
back to Waterloo.
933
00:34:14,030 --> 00:34:15,059
- Wait, is this a story
934
00:34:15,060 --> 00:34:16,649
where they threw
eggs at each other?
935
00:34:16,650 --> 00:34:17,748
- Yeah, they called
it the egg war.
936
00:34:17,749 --> 00:34:19,949
- Hard boiled.
937
00:34:19,950 --> 00:34:21,545
Just like city councils
in these towns.
938
00:34:21,546 --> 00:34:23,009
- Or over easy,
939
00:34:23,010 --> 00:34:24,809
like the Cedar Valley women.
940
00:34:24,810 --> 00:34:27,259
- So according to this,
941
00:34:27,260 --> 00:34:29,623
we conceived on the weekend
of the 11th and the 12th.
942
00:34:29,624 --> 00:34:32,239
- Hey, that was the weekend
943
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:34,829
I was out of town at
my nana's funeral.
944
00:34:34,830 --> 00:34:35,744
- Oh my god.
945
00:34:35,745 --> 00:34:37,267
Sorry.
946
00:34:37,268 --> 00:34:38,639
- It's okay.
947
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,640
I fucked somebody else
that weekend too.
948
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:42,353
- C'est la vie.
949
00:34:42,354 --> 00:34:43,403
- Sera, sera.
950
00:34:45,010 --> 00:34:47,428
- Mom, you got to stop
hitting on guys my age.
951
00:34:47,429 --> 00:34:49,379
Stop flirting with
my guy friends.
952
00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:51,869
- You know people think we could
953
00:34:51,870 --> 00:34:53,246
actually be sisters.
954
00:34:53,247 --> 00:34:55,069
- You slow down.
955
00:34:55,070 --> 00:34:56,429
You're way too much.
956
00:34:56,430 --> 00:34:58,046
- I am a cougar.
957
00:34:58,047 --> 00:34:59,828
It's our time now.
958
00:34:59,829 --> 00:35:02,009
I will not slow down.
959
00:35:02,010 --> 00:35:05,049
It's MILF time.
960
00:35:05,050 --> 00:35:05,883
- Gross.
961
00:35:05,884 --> 00:35:08,030
- Your little friend,
Jake, didn't think so.
962
00:35:19,004 --> 00:35:21,029
- This is Elias,
963
00:35:21,030 --> 00:35:22,468
a good Christian boy.
964
00:35:22,469 --> 00:35:24,779
Drank way too much one night.
965
00:35:24,780 --> 00:35:29,159
Actually, he went on an
entire weekend bender.
966
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,249
Now, he's in
alcoholic's anonymous.
967
00:35:32,250 --> 00:35:34,308
So we refer to him as.
968
00:35:34,309 --> 00:35:36,779
AA Elias.
969
00:35:36,780 --> 00:35:38,543
- Shit this shit's man.
970
00:35:40,582 --> 00:35:42,466
Why don't they fix
this shit, dude?
971
00:35:45,267 --> 00:35:46,684
Who gives a shit.
972
00:35:51,710 --> 00:35:53,039
- Hey, Jorge.
973
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:54,304
- What you want, dude?
974
00:35:54,305 --> 00:35:55,629
- You know I'm really
concerned about you man.
975
00:35:55,630 --> 00:35:57,265
I'm really concerned
about your health.
976
00:35:57,266 --> 00:35:58,525
Hwy don't you take
a look at this.
977
00:35:58,526 --> 00:36:00,019
Really could help you out.
978
00:36:00,020 --> 00:36:01,010
- You think?
979
00:36:01,011 --> 00:36:02,605
- Yeah man.
980
00:36:02,606 --> 00:36:03,819
It helped me.
981
00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:05,047
- Whatever dude.
982
00:36:05,048 --> 00:36:06,409
Go away dude, I'm drinking.
983
00:36:06,410 --> 00:36:07,539
- Alright, just think
about it, man.
984
00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:09,128
- Yeah whatever dude.
985
00:36:09,129 --> 00:36:10,129
Go fuck yourself.
986
00:36:19,710 --> 00:36:21,377
Holy shit, AA works.
987
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,570
Alright.
988
00:36:35,460 --> 00:36:36,930
- I love the two of you in Oz.
989
00:36:36,931 --> 00:36:38,968
- What's up man.
990
00:36:38,969 --> 00:36:41,527
- Hey, what's up Jorge?
991
00:36:41,528 --> 00:36:42,706
What's up dude?
992
00:36:42,707 --> 00:36:43,746
Marcel, can I get another run?
993
00:36:43,747 --> 00:36:44,747
Thank you.
994
00:36:45,609 --> 00:36:46,886
- This time of the day, dude?
995
00:36:46,887 --> 00:36:47,887
- Yeah.
996
00:36:49,507 --> 00:36:50,979
You have the same one too.
997
00:36:50,980 --> 00:36:52,088
- I'm in mourning dude.
998
00:36:52,089 --> 00:36:54,770
- Yeah, I guess I'm
in mourning too.
999
00:36:54,771 --> 00:36:57,389
- Why, Anthony Bourdain too?
1000
00:36:57,390 --> 00:36:58,280
You heard about that shit too?
1001
00:36:58,281 --> 00:37:00,009
- No, Tanner.
1002
00:37:00,010 --> 00:37:01,439
He's got a fiance.
1003
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:02,370
Can't hang out with me.
1004
00:37:02,371 --> 00:37:03,519
- He found someone
tighter than you, huh.
1005
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,189
- Yeah, I guess in a way.
1006
00:37:05,190 --> 00:37:06,709
- In a way?
1007
00:37:06,710 --> 00:37:08,210
Really?
1008
00:37:08,211 --> 00:37:09,369
- Yeah.
1009
00:37:09,370 --> 00:37:10,949
Who's fucking push
light is that?
1010
00:37:10,950 --> 00:37:11,890
- That's that milk weed,
1011
00:37:11,891 --> 00:37:13,209
Tyler of the tool.
1012
00:37:13,210 --> 00:37:14,043
- Oh Jesus Christ.
1013
00:37:14,044 --> 00:37:16,349
Was diet mountain dew too spicy?
1014
00:37:16,350 --> 00:37:17,528
- For that milk weed
1015
00:37:17,529 --> 00:37:19,129
motherfucker, maybe.
1016
00:37:22,510 --> 00:37:23,369
- Oh yeah.
1017
00:37:23,370 --> 00:37:25,629
Extra cheese was a good call.
1018
00:37:25,630 --> 00:37:26,880
It's a two flusher, baby.
1019
00:37:34,830 --> 00:37:38,269
Pouring one out for your
dead homies over there?
1020
00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:40,989
You guys both have a grinder.
1021
00:37:40,990 --> 00:37:42,129
That's how you guys met.
1022
00:37:42,130 --> 00:37:42,963
That's awesome.
1023
00:37:42,964 --> 00:37:44,306
Good for you guys.
1024
00:37:44,307 --> 00:37:45,140
You guys are a beautiful couple.
1025
00:37:45,140 --> 00:37:45,973
I like the melting pot
1026
00:37:45,974 --> 00:37:47,528
kind of situation going on here.
1027
00:37:47,529 --> 00:37:48,967
- Hey, at least I get
swiped right, motherfucker.
1028
00:37:48,968 --> 00:37:50,859
Hey, what's with the jacket?
1029
00:37:50,860 --> 00:37:52,408
Were you worried about
the Jews replacing you?
1030
00:37:52,409 --> 00:37:54,969
- You couldn't replace me.
1031
00:37:54,970 --> 00:37:56,305
I look like
1032
00:37:56,306 --> 00:37:58,219
if Adolph Hitler could
perfectly design somebody.
1033
00:37:58,220 --> 00:38:01,128
A genetically modified boy
band member basically.
1034
00:38:02,187 --> 00:38:03,719
- Yeah, the Richard
Spencer Five.
1035
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:04,553
I've heard of them.
1036
00:38:04,554 --> 00:38:05,556
- You're just like my uncle.
1037
00:38:05,557 --> 00:38:06,602
You went south of the border.
1038
00:38:06,603 --> 00:38:08,349
You got a nice Hispanic wife.
1039
00:38:08,350 --> 00:38:09,359
You're like the guy
1040
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:10,419
from Modern Family.
1041
00:38:10,420 --> 00:38:11,420
That's awesome.
1042
00:38:12,923 --> 00:38:14,588
- You're adorable.
1043
00:38:14,589 --> 00:38:15,879
- That's like your mom said.
1044
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:16,840
She thinks I'm real cute.
1045
00:38:16,841 --> 00:38:19,729
She put me up in her big
strong Mexican arms,
1046
00:38:19,730 --> 00:38:21,439
like a big bundle of fruit.
1047
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:22,967
Just picked me up.
1048
00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:23,970
- Hey,
1049
00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:24,804
where's your dipshit friend at?
1050
00:38:24,805 --> 00:38:25,984
Tyler?
1051
00:38:25,985 --> 00:38:26,818
- Pulling doubles over
at the golf course, man.
1052
00:38:26,818 --> 00:38:27,651
Golf pro.
1053
00:38:27,651 --> 00:38:28,640
Making that good money.
1054
00:38:28,641 --> 00:38:30,180
He's got a kid on the way.
1055
00:38:31,843 --> 00:38:33,144
He fucks girls, unlike you guys.
1056
00:38:33,145 --> 00:38:35,189
- Putting.
1057
00:38:35,190 --> 00:38:36,609
The short game.
1058
00:38:36,610 --> 00:38:39,026
Well, half the game actually.
1059
00:38:39,027 --> 00:38:40,786
You master this, and
1060
00:38:40,787 --> 00:38:44,765
I think I see a little green
jacket in your future.
1061
00:38:44,766 --> 00:38:46,143
But,
1062
00:38:47,185 --> 00:38:49,519
but you got to eye on the ball
1063
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,609
and then put through
1064
00:38:51,610 --> 00:38:52,662
to the hole.
1065
00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:55,009
Through to the hole.
1066
00:38:55,010 --> 00:38:56,010
But,
1067
00:38:56,690 --> 00:38:57,944
you got to focus.
1068
00:38:57,945 --> 00:38:59,349
Buddy.
1069
00:38:59,350 --> 00:39:00,350
Focus.
1070
00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:18,480
- Hey, I thought that was a
baby ruth in Caddyshack.
1071
00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:21,099
- Yeah, but all they
had was snickers.
1072
00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:23,323
- Hey, no more
Caddyshack references.
1073
00:39:23,324 --> 00:39:25,202
- But man, orange balls.
1074
00:39:25,203 --> 00:39:27,864
Hey Wayne, this is
a swanky joint.
1075
00:39:27,865 --> 00:39:29,762
Go tell him you're Jewish.
1076
00:39:30,661 --> 00:39:33,423
- No more Caddyshack references.
1077
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:37,889
No more Caddyshack references.
1078
00:39:37,890 --> 00:39:39,039
I'm fucking serious.
1079
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:40,949
- Oh baby.
1080
00:39:40,950 --> 00:39:43,017
This is a big one.
1081
00:39:43,018 --> 00:39:43,851
- Alright, don't count that one.
1082
00:39:43,852 --> 00:39:45,029
That was interfered with.
1083
00:39:45,030 --> 00:39:47,459
- The whole world needs
ditch diggers too.
1084
00:39:47,460 --> 00:39:49,329
- What'd I say about
Caddyshack references?
1085
00:39:49,330 --> 00:39:50,824
- What's the matter?
1086
00:39:50,825 --> 00:39:51,658
I just want to bring
you a present.
1087
00:39:51,659 --> 00:39:52,659
- No
1088
00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:54,169
more.
1089
00:39:54,170 --> 00:39:55,199
Caddyshack references.
1090
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,409
- Hey, that's from
Caddyshack two.
1091
00:39:56,410 --> 00:39:58,809
- Yeah, it's from
Caddyshack two, bra.
1092
00:39:58,810 --> 00:39:59,929
- Shit man.
1093
00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:01,565
The last time I saw you,
1094
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:04,582
the night in Cedar
Falls with Heather.
1095
00:40:04,583 --> 00:40:07,239
- Yet that girl talks about
how small my dick is.
1096
00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:08,409
Like you're six foot four,
1097
00:40:08,410 --> 00:40:09,569
everything looks that small
1098
00:40:09,570 --> 00:40:11,064
compared to that.
1099
00:40:11,065 --> 00:40:11,898
Come on.
1100
00:40:11,898 --> 00:40:12,731
- You ever notice
when she gets mad,
1101
00:40:12,732 --> 00:40:14,529
she kind of looks
like William Defoe?
1102
00:40:14,530 --> 00:40:15,390
- Oh dude, it's like
1103
00:40:15,391 --> 00:40:16,869
kind of like seeing my stepdad.
1104
00:40:16,870 --> 00:40:17,703
It's crazy.
1105
00:40:17,703 --> 00:40:18,560
Like
1106
00:40:18,561 --> 00:40:20,869
the guy that got shot
by fucking Jake Taylor
1107
00:40:20,870 --> 00:40:22,489
from Major League in Platoon,
1108
00:40:22,490 --> 00:40:23,323
you know what I'm talking about.
1109
00:40:23,324 --> 00:40:24,339
- Yeah dude.
1110
00:40:24,340 --> 00:40:25,340
Oh my god.
1111
00:40:26,046 --> 00:40:27,806
Was she on the rescue
in the Boondock Saints?
1112
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:28,953
- Yeah.
1113
00:40:28,954 --> 00:40:30,461
Born on the fourth of July.
1114
00:40:32,446 --> 00:40:33,279
- You two are peas in a pod.
1115
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:34,509
What are you, a fucking
1116
00:40:34,510 --> 00:40:36,024
shake swords together sometimes.
1117
00:40:36,025 --> 00:40:37,725
- That's not a bad idea?
1118
00:40:37,726 --> 00:40:39,384
- Yeah man.
1119
00:40:39,385 --> 00:40:43,219
Hey, you got to have
somebody from a movie
1120
00:40:43,220 --> 00:40:44,070
talk shit about your dick,
1121
00:40:44,071 --> 00:40:45,821
who would it be?
1122
00:40:45,822 --> 00:40:47,041
- Oh man, probably
Hannibal Lector, man.
1123
00:40:47,042 --> 00:40:48,042
He'd be like
1124
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:49,809
go into great detail about it,
1125
00:40:49,810 --> 00:40:51,679
and then like snack that shit
up with some fava beans.
1126
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:55,682
What about you?
1127
00:40:55,683 --> 00:40:57,419
- Weirdly,
1128
00:40:57,420 --> 00:40:58,469
Cruella de Vil.
1129
00:40:58,470 --> 00:40:59,679
- 101 Dalmatians.
1130
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:00,744
- Yeah.
1131
00:41:00,745 --> 00:41:01,578
Yeah, she'd talk shit about it,
1132
00:41:01,579 --> 00:41:03,159
she'd still see
the beauty in it.
1133
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,739
She'd just have to
find a 100 more
1134
00:41:04,740 --> 00:41:06,659
and fashion it in to a
fashionable jacket.
1135
00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:08,002
- A nice little dick coat.
1136
00:41:08,003 --> 00:41:09,312
- Yeah, who wouldn't wear
a dick skinned jacket?
1137
00:41:09,313 --> 00:41:10,444
- I would look good
in a dick coat.
1138
00:41:10,445 --> 00:41:12,478
- That jacket is tighter
than dick skin.
1139
00:41:12,479 --> 00:41:13,993
- Absolutely.
1140
00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:18,219
- So,
1141
00:41:18,220 --> 00:41:19,282
fuck it.
1142
00:41:19,283 --> 00:41:20,116
You want to go to Lava Lounge?
1143
00:41:20,116 --> 00:41:20,949
I'll buy you a scotch.
1144
00:41:20,949 --> 00:41:21,850
$12,
1145
00:41:21,850 --> 00:41:22,850
the good kind.
1146
00:41:24,723 --> 00:41:25,556
- Trailer Park Boys, nice.
1147
00:41:25,557 --> 00:41:26,957
- Nice.
1148
00:41:26,958 --> 00:41:28,824
- Well, it looks like
I'm Julien on this one,
1149
00:41:28,825 --> 00:41:30,322
cause I'm taking
my drink with me.
1150
00:41:30,323 --> 00:41:31,539
- It's about to fucking time.
1151
00:41:31,540 --> 00:41:32,729
- Have a good one.
1152
00:41:32,730 --> 00:41:33,944
Adios amigo.
1153
00:41:33,945 --> 00:41:35,239
- Yeah, fuck yourself.
1154
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,289
- No, C3-PO has a silver leg.
1155
00:41:38,290 --> 00:41:39,800
- Mandela Effect.
1156
00:41:39,801 --> 00:41:41,559
- No, what.
1157
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:42,664
No, no, no, no, no.
1158
00:41:42,665 --> 00:41:43,662
C3-PO is gold
1159
00:41:43,663 --> 00:41:44,709
and Han did the Castle Run
1160
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:46,719
in 12 parsecs.
1161
00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:47,553
Duh.
1162
00:41:47,554 --> 00:41:48,919
- Pretty sure it was 14.
1163
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,339
- He told Chewy
1164
00:41:50,340 --> 00:41:51,366
that he rounded down in Solo.
1165
00:41:51,367 --> 00:41:52,463
- Either way,
1166
00:41:53,481 --> 00:41:54,482
it's still impressive.
1167
00:41:54,483 --> 00:41:56,099
- So,
1168
00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:58,519
is Rey Han and Leia's kid?
1169
00:41:58,520 --> 00:41:59,353
- How the hell
1170
00:41:59,354 --> 00:42:01,682
would Luke and Leia
not sense that?
1171
00:42:01,683 --> 00:42:04,540
I mean these jedis are unreal.
1172
00:42:04,541 --> 00:42:09,478
Leia can Mary Poppins through
the vacuum of space,
1173
00:42:09,479 --> 00:42:12,158
but she can't keep track
of her damn kids.
1174
00:42:12,159 --> 00:42:14,809
- There's no way that Rey
is their kid anyway.
1175
00:42:14,810 --> 00:42:15,760
Han and Leia,
1176
00:42:15,761 --> 00:42:17,069
no, there's no way.
1177
00:42:17,070 --> 00:42:18,381
No.
1178
00:42:18,382 --> 00:42:19,502
- Jedi's are shitty parents.
1179
00:42:22,677 --> 00:42:23,510
- Do you think
1180
00:42:23,510 --> 00:42:24,343
that
1181
00:42:24,344 --> 00:42:26,415
at like another
bar in this town,
1182
00:42:26,416 --> 00:42:28,989
there are girls talking
about Star Trek
1183
00:42:28,990 --> 00:42:30,549
like we're talking
about Star Wars.
1184
00:42:30,550 --> 00:42:31,739
- No way.
1185
00:42:31,740 --> 00:42:33,539
- Yeah, Star Trek is dumb.
1186
00:42:33,540 --> 00:42:35,218
- You're right.
1187
00:42:38,510 --> 00:42:40,379
- You can have your
Captain Pikard.
1188
00:42:40,380 --> 00:42:42,059
You can have your Captain Kirk,
1189
00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:43,517
but I'm after that Spock.
1190
00:42:43,518 --> 00:42:46,578
There's a reason for
live long and prosper.
1191
00:42:46,579 --> 00:42:49,298
I'd put a smile on
that Vulcan's face.
1192
00:42:49,299 --> 00:42:50,559
- I understand that.
1193
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:51,619
But I want Mr. Chekov
1194
00:42:51,620 --> 00:42:52,879
as I want to make him my first.
1195
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:54,129
You know them virgins.
1196
00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:55,439
I want to take him boldly
1197
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:56,899
where no man has gone before.
1198
00:42:56,900 --> 00:42:58,221
- Girl.
1199
00:42:58,222 --> 00:42:59,219
- You know in can do a little.
1200
00:42:59,220 --> 00:43:00,999
- Only you girl.
1201
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,317
- I'm telling you,
1202
00:43:02,318 --> 00:43:03,357
that's the way it's
supposed to be.
1203
00:43:03,358 --> 00:43:04,818
- Cheers.
1204
00:43:10,155 --> 00:43:10,988
- You know, I gotta say,
1205
00:43:10,989 --> 00:43:12,619
Rent by far is the
greatest musical
1206
00:43:12,620 --> 00:43:13,629
ever created.
1207
00:43:13,630 --> 00:43:14,679
It has heart.
1208
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:15,799
It's visceral.
1209
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:18,469
And it just moves you
in every way possible.
1210
00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:20,869
And also, it really hits home
1211
00:43:20,870 --> 00:43:21,860
with all my gay friends
1212
00:43:21,861 --> 00:43:23,310
and what they have to endure.
1213
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,675
- Les Miserable is the
greatest musical of all time.
1214
00:43:27,676 --> 00:43:29,512
It digs into the human spirit,
1215
00:43:29,513 --> 00:43:31,249
the struggle.
1216
00:43:31,250 --> 00:43:33,138
They yearn to be part
of a higher power,
1217
00:43:33,139 --> 00:43:35,261
and the grace of humanity.
1218
00:43:35,262 --> 00:43:37,999
- Cats is the best.
1219
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,329
I just love it.
1220
00:43:39,330 --> 00:43:40,957
Cute little cats running around.
1221
00:43:40,958 --> 00:43:44,099
And they don't make me
sneeze like real cats.
1222
00:43:44,100 --> 00:43:45,569
- The Music Man,
1223
00:43:45,570 --> 00:43:46,729
a light hearted musical
1224
00:43:46,730 --> 00:43:47,700
set in Iowa.
1225
00:43:47,701 --> 00:43:49,420
It saw the best production of it
1226
00:43:50,259 --> 00:43:51,378
at the Cedar Falls
Community Theater
1227
00:43:51,379 --> 00:43:52,300
at the.
1228
00:43:52,301 --> 00:43:54,119
The Waterloo Community Playhouse
1229
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,658
also had a superb
production of it.
1230
00:43:56,659 --> 00:43:58,089
- You guys are all wrong.
1231
00:43:58,090 --> 00:44:00,877
I'm not trying to
be a dickhead but,
1232
00:44:00,878 --> 00:44:03,277
awful selections.
1233
00:44:03,278 --> 00:44:05,960
Greese 2 is
1234
00:44:05,961 --> 00:44:08,661
profoundly better than everything
you guys have mentioned.
1235
00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:15,089
You can roll your eyes,
1236
00:44:15,090 --> 00:44:16,742
but it really is.
1237
00:44:16,743 --> 00:44:18,239
You're just gonna
have to revisit it.
1238
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:19,623
The Music Man?
1239
00:44:19,624 --> 00:44:21,289
I don't mean any disrespect,
1240
00:44:21,290 --> 00:44:22,689
I just,
1241
00:44:22,690 --> 00:44:23,523
that's like,
1242
00:44:23,524 --> 00:44:25,180
it's child's play
for grandparents.
1243
00:44:25,181 --> 00:44:26,869
It makes lowans
1244
00:44:26,870 --> 00:44:27,884
seem like
1245
00:44:27,885 --> 00:44:30,939
frumpy fools that
can't spot a fraud
1246
00:44:30,940 --> 00:44:32,163
a half a cornfield away.
1247
00:44:33,141 --> 00:44:34,801
It's not any good.
1248
00:44:34,802 --> 00:44:36,481
Cats.
1249
00:44:36,482 --> 00:44:38,743
Cats.
1250
00:44:40,270 --> 00:44:42,524
I don't have enough
scotch for Cats.
1251
00:44:42,525 --> 00:44:44,619
Rent man.
1252
00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:45,889
Rent's insufferable.
1253
00:44:45,890 --> 00:44:46,909
It just, like I get it.
1254
00:44:46,910 --> 00:44:48,569
Like I understand the struggle.
1255
00:44:48,570 --> 00:44:50,329
Totally sympathize
with the gay community
1256
00:44:50,330 --> 00:44:51,739
in New York City during Aids
1257
00:44:51,740 --> 00:44:52,573
and persecution,
1258
00:44:52,574 --> 00:44:54,982
living in weirdly
shitty apartments.
1259
00:44:54,983 --> 00:44:57,269
But really all it did was enable
1260
00:44:57,270 --> 00:44:58,339
white sorority sisters
1261
00:44:58,340 --> 00:45:01,009
to slaughter more Karaoke songs.
1262
00:45:01,010 --> 00:45:02,010
I can't, I can't.
1263
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,400
Cats?
1264
00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:07,884
Les Mis.
1265
00:45:07,885 --> 00:45:10,023
I mean I don't hate it.
1266
00:45:10,024 --> 00:45:12,229
I like Anne Hathaway
in the movie.
1267
00:45:12,230 --> 00:45:13,160
It's pretty great.
1268
00:45:13,161 --> 00:45:14,890
But Jean Valjean
1269
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:17,349
is not
1270
00:45:17,350 --> 00:45:18,929
and will never be.
1271
00:45:18,930 --> 00:45:19,930
Cool Rider.
1272
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,399
In Greese 2, Michael
1273
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,884
comes to America with a dream.
1274
00:45:25,885 --> 00:45:28,103
He makes his money
1275
00:45:28,104 --> 00:45:30,439
writing essays for the
1276
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,233
less fortunate folks
at his school.
1277
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:34,389
And he saves his money
1278
00:45:34,390 --> 00:45:36,059
and he builds a motorcycle
1279
00:45:36,060 --> 00:45:37,509
from scratch.
1280
00:45:37,510 --> 00:45:38,803
A cool rider was needed.
1281
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,270
He built it from scratch.
1282
00:45:41,271 --> 00:45:42,469
He repurposed these parts
1283
00:45:42,470 --> 00:45:44,669
and he built them into
something stronger,
1284
00:45:44,670 --> 00:45:45,503
faster,
1285
00:45:45,504 --> 00:45:47,643
and just beautiful.
1286
00:45:49,042 --> 00:45:52,069
I don't know what
else you would want.
1287
00:45:52,070 --> 00:45:53,709
It's the American dream
1288
00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:55,349
in musical form.
1289
00:45:55,350 --> 00:45:57,949
Michelle Phieffer
needed hell on wheels
1290
00:45:57,950 --> 00:45:59,479
and by god,
1291
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:00,833
Michael bird hot.
1292
00:46:01,842 --> 00:46:03,919
It also has the
best bowling scene
1293
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:05,059
in cinematic history.
1294
00:46:05,060 --> 00:46:06,839
It's way better than that trite
1295
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,099
gooey Beatles karaoke movie
1296
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,869
across the universe.
1297
00:46:10,870 --> 00:46:11,899
- Seriously, Harris.
1298
00:46:11,900 --> 00:46:13,349
That's the best you
can come up with?
1299
00:46:13,350 --> 00:46:15,041
- Please I,
1300
00:46:15,042 --> 00:46:15,875
please, I prefer Harold.
1301
00:46:15,876 --> 00:46:17,564
- I prefer Harris.
1302
00:46:17,565 --> 00:46:18,862
- Okay.
1303
00:46:18,863 --> 00:46:20,509
- A couple reasons why
Greese 2 is shit.
1304
00:46:20,510 --> 00:46:21,649
First of all,
1305
00:46:21,650 --> 00:46:23,429
Michelle Phieffer sounds like
1306
00:46:23,430 --> 00:46:25,449
she's got a dead cat
stuck in her throat.
1307
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:27,539
Her singing is atrocious.
1308
00:46:27,540 --> 00:46:28,769
- And yet she persevered.
1309
00:46:28,770 --> 00:46:29,929
- That was easily
the worst movie
1310
00:46:29,930 --> 00:46:30,930
she's ever been in.
1311
00:46:31,870 --> 00:46:34,319
Secondly, there's a
production going on right now
1312
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:35,339
called 13.
1313
00:46:35,340 --> 00:46:36,459
These kids are in junior high
1314
00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:37,719
and they're putting
on something better
1315
00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:39,199
than these 30 year olds could.
1316
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,400
Last,
1317
00:46:41,401 --> 00:46:43,089
these four musicals
1318
00:46:43,090 --> 00:46:44,263
were on a stage,
1319
00:46:44,264 --> 00:46:45,804
been on Broadway.
1320
00:46:45,805 --> 00:46:48,703
Greese 2 has only
been in theaters
1321
00:46:48,704 --> 00:46:50,943
and has never won an award.
1322
00:46:50,944 --> 00:46:52,429
- Well,
1323
00:46:52,430 --> 00:46:53,919
better is the local theater.
1324
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,409
They chose to do Greese
1325
00:46:55,410 --> 00:46:56,660
instead of the wrong one.
1326
00:46:58,402 --> 00:46:59,235
If they would have
got their heads
1327
00:46:59,236 --> 00:47:00,286
out of their asses,
1328
00:47:00,287 --> 00:47:01,120
they would have
picked the right one,
1329
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:01,980
they would have
found a cool rider
1330
00:47:01,981 --> 00:47:03,979
and Harold would have obliged.
1331
00:47:06,650 --> 00:47:08,219
- So what are you
drinking there?
1332
00:47:08,220 --> 00:47:10,729
- Young lady, I am not drinking
1333
00:47:10,730 --> 00:47:11,819
anything.
1334
00:47:11,820 --> 00:47:13,259
I am experiencing this
1335
00:47:13,260 --> 00:47:15,509
single malt scotch.
1336
00:47:15,510 --> 00:47:16,679
- You know,
1337
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:18,239
every time you drink scotch,
1338
00:47:18,240 --> 00:47:20,820
it makes me really frisky.
1339
00:47:21,930 --> 00:47:24,159
- Well I do suppose that the
1340
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,037
experience is different
for everyone.
1341
00:47:26,038 --> 00:47:28,619
- Well what are you doing later?
1342
00:47:28,620 --> 00:47:29,939
- Young lady,
1343
00:47:29,940 --> 00:47:31,139
must I inform you
1344
00:47:31,140 --> 00:47:33,163
that I'm wearing my purity ring.
1345
00:47:34,540 --> 00:47:36,719
- Why are you wearing
a purity ring?
1346
00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:38,339
- Because
1347
00:47:38,340 --> 00:47:41,296
purity rings are so cool.
1348
00:47:42,380 --> 00:47:44,816
- Cousin Harold.
1349
00:47:44,817 --> 00:47:47,275
Are you doubting the
1350
00:47:47,276 --> 00:47:49,769
coolness of my purity ring?
1351
00:47:49,770 --> 00:47:51,689
- Well if your ear wolf hat
1352
00:47:51,690 --> 00:47:52,969
is an indication,
1353
00:47:52,970 --> 00:47:53,970
yes, I am.
1354
00:47:54,657 --> 00:47:55,490
I've decided that purity rings
1355
00:47:55,491 --> 00:47:56,629
are no longer.
1356
00:47:56,630 --> 00:47:59,233
- Well then they are no
longer hip for the Oliver.
1357
00:48:00,620 --> 00:48:02,849
Young lady may entice away.
1358
00:48:02,850 --> 00:48:06,289
- Do you want to experience
my place or yours later?
1359
00:48:06,290 --> 00:48:09,399
- Oh, Oliver does not
want to wait that long.
1360
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:10,629
How about
1361
00:48:10,630 --> 00:48:12,459
out back behind the dumpster?
1362
00:48:12,460 --> 00:48:14,016
- Dumpster fucking?
1363
00:48:14,017 --> 00:48:15,329
Yeah.
1364
00:48:15,330 --> 00:48:16,349
- Oliver,
1365
00:48:16,350 --> 00:48:17,789
please.
1366
00:48:17,790 --> 00:48:18,720
- Oh cousin Harold,
1367
00:48:18,721 --> 00:48:20,819
I suppose you're right.
1368
00:48:20,820 --> 00:48:23,750
How about we go back to my place
1369
00:48:24,660 --> 00:48:27,539
and we experience a bottle
of single malt scotch
1370
00:48:27,540 --> 00:48:29,136
and I will show you my huge
1371
00:48:29,137 --> 00:48:31,259
vinyl collection.
1372
00:48:31,260 --> 00:48:33,396
- Okay.
1373
00:48:33,397 --> 00:48:34,757
- My work here is done.
1374
00:48:34,758 --> 00:48:35,591
- Thank you, cousin Harold.
1375
00:48:35,591 --> 00:48:36,591
Thank you.
1376
00:48:44,556 --> 00:48:47,216
- Did she say dumpster fucking?
1377
00:48:47,217 --> 00:48:49,735
- I believe they said
dumpster fucking.
1378
00:48:49,736 --> 00:48:50,569
Have you ever dumpster fucked?
1379
00:48:50,570 --> 00:48:52,639
- I've never had
a dumpster fuck,
1380
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,077
but I've had a handjob behind
the Tasty Freeze one time.
1381
00:48:55,078 --> 00:48:57,647
- That sounds like you.
1382
00:49:09,162 --> 00:49:10,694
- You how I feel about
those tractor shots.
1383
00:49:10,695 --> 00:49:11,528
It's just kind of like,
1384
00:49:11,529 --> 00:49:13,109
actually that guy up there
1385
00:49:13,110 --> 00:49:14,110
on the TV.
1386
00:49:14,111 --> 00:49:15,799
He seems like a guy who
probably put himself
1387
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:17,278
in his own movies.
1388
00:49:17,279 --> 00:49:19,675
- Yeah, multiple movies
on the same subject.
1389
00:49:19,676 --> 00:49:22,669
- Always in the same bars,
1390
00:49:22,670 --> 00:49:24,052
in the same locations,
1391
00:49:24,053 --> 00:49:26,936
and it's always the
same gay dick jokes.
1392
00:49:26,937 --> 00:49:28,599
- Constantly.
1393
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,149
Because the only thing
this guy finds funny
1394
00:49:30,150 --> 00:49:33,177
is dick jokes after a life
of touring and bar hopping.
1395
00:49:33,178 --> 00:49:35,119
- Drinking nothing but scotch.
1396
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:37,009
Pretty sure it just
runs through his veins
1397
00:49:37,010 --> 00:49:37,920
and he just like
1398
00:49:37,921 --> 00:49:39,955
pisses straight scotch.
1399
00:49:39,956 --> 00:49:41,589
- Burns all the time.
1400
00:49:41,590 --> 00:49:43,715
You can never tell when
he's got the clap.
1401
00:49:43,716 --> 00:49:46,299
- I mean I'm sure he's got
some good drugs for that.
1402
00:49:46,300 --> 00:49:48,355
But three movies.
1403
00:49:48,356 --> 00:49:50,199
Fuck.
1404
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,478
Kevin Smith won't even
make a third Clerks.
1405
00:49:52,479 --> 00:49:53,673
- Definitely not.
1406
00:49:55,476 --> 00:49:57,219
- Strip clubs,
1407
00:49:57,220 --> 00:49:58,734
pornography shops,
1408
00:49:58,735 --> 00:49:59,710
come on Boss.
1409
00:49:59,711 --> 00:50:02,659
There's got to be
something else out there.
1410
00:50:02,660 --> 00:50:04,673
- What would you suggest I do?
1411
00:50:04,674 --> 00:50:07,619
- Christian bookstores.
1412
00:50:07,620 --> 00:50:08,689
- Boss.
1413
00:50:08,690 --> 00:50:10,339
This is the Boss.
1414
00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:11,439
He owns a strip club
1415
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,659
and an adult bookstore in town.
1416
00:50:13,660 --> 00:50:15,329
This guy's former boss.
1417
00:50:15,330 --> 00:50:17,336
The Adult Shop Mop.
1418
00:50:17,337 --> 00:50:19,219
- Okay, the idea of
1419
00:50:19,220 --> 00:50:22,396
being in business is
to stay in business.
1420
00:50:22,397 --> 00:50:24,019
You realize that, right.
1421
00:50:24,020 --> 00:50:26,201
Hey, you're a good kid.
1422
00:50:26,202 --> 00:50:27,939
Everybody likes you, Elias.
1423
00:50:27,940 --> 00:50:29,739
You know they call
you AA Elias now
1424
00:50:29,740 --> 00:50:31,199
cause of that weekend.
1425
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:32,478
But that's okay.
1426
00:50:32,479 --> 00:50:33,450
AA's probably good.
1427
00:50:33,451 --> 00:50:35,219
Alcoholics anonymous
works for some people
1428
00:50:35,220 --> 00:50:36,749
and seems to
1429
00:50:36,750 --> 00:50:37,730
work pretty well for you.
1430
00:50:37,731 --> 00:50:38,779
And that's good.
1431
00:50:38,780 --> 00:50:40,439
Let me pose something to you.
1432
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:42,718
Imagine there's a
good Christian man.
1433
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:44,499
He goes to church
1434
00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:46,259
every Wednesday and Sunday.
1435
00:50:46,260 --> 00:50:48,019
Goes to bible study,
1436
00:50:48,020 --> 00:50:48,900
a great man,
1437
00:50:48,901 --> 00:50:50,369
very faithful.
1438
00:50:50,370 --> 00:50:52,070
He's driving down
the road one day
1439
00:50:53,359 --> 00:50:54,599
on his way to a bible study,
1440
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:55,562
soup kitchen,
1441
00:50:55,563 --> 00:50:57,669
what have you.
1442
00:50:57,670 --> 00:50:59,337
He gets a tightness
in his chest.
1443
00:50:59,338 --> 00:51:02,089
It's pains in his arms.
1444
00:51:02,090 --> 00:51:03,977
Realizes he's having
a heart attack,
1445
00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:06,361
pulls off to the
very first place
1446
00:51:06,362 --> 00:51:07,799
he could find
1447
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:08,800
to seek out help.
1448
00:51:09,690 --> 00:51:11,999
He dies on the floor
of that business.
1449
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,209
Say it's
1450
00:51:13,210 --> 00:51:14,729
my adult bookstore
1451
00:51:14,730 --> 00:51:16,479
or one of my strip clubs.
1452
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,189
The news will read
1453
00:51:18,190 --> 00:51:20,699
77 year old man dies
of a heart attack
1454
00:51:20,700 --> 00:51:22,129
at 10:00 AM in the morning
1455
00:51:22,130 --> 00:51:24,379
at an adult bookstore
or strip club.
1456
00:51:24,380 --> 00:51:26,617
You're automatically gonna
think this man is bad.
1457
00:51:26,618 --> 00:51:28,689
Let's go the other side.
1458
00:51:28,690 --> 00:51:30,429
Imagine there is an awful guy.
1459
00:51:30,430 --> 00:51:32,442
A guys that goes to my
strip clubs all the time.
1460
00:51:32,443 --> 00:51:34,719
He's at my adult bookstores,
1461
00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:36,279
complete porn hound.
1462
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,829
A complete reprobate.
1463
00:51:37,830 --> 00:51:38,849
A drunk.
1464
00:51:38,850 --> 00:51:39,850
A whore monger.
1465
00:51:41,050 --> 00:51:42,637
He's driving down
the road one day.
1466
00:51:42,638 --> 00:51:44,517
It's a tightness in his chest.
1467
00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:46,499
Pains in his arms.
1468
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:48,299
Knows he's gonna
have a heart attack.
1469
00:51:48,300 --> 00:51:50,189
Pulls off to the very
first place he can find
1470
00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:51,579
to seek out help,
1471
00:51:51,580 --> 00:51:53,069
and it's a church.
1472
00:51:53,070 --> 00:51:54,439
The news will read
1473
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:55,729
77 year old man
1474
00:51:55,730 --> 00:51:57,716
dies of a heart
attack at 10:00 AM
1475
00:51:57,717 --> 00:51:59,289
on a Wednesday morning
1476
00:51:59,290 --> 00:52:00,529
at a church.
1477
00:52:00,530 --> 00:52:03,416
You're automatically
gonna think he's good.
1478
00:52:03,417 --> 00:52:05,193
- Well,
1479
00:52:06,100 --> 00:52:07,923
at least I tried.
1480
00:52:09,190 --> 00:52:11,019
- Always remember this,
1481
00:52:11,020 --> 00:52:12,869
amazing grace was
written by an atheist
1482
00:52:12,870 --> 00:52:14,289
who was saved.
1483
00:52:14,290 --> 00:52:16,149
So never stop trying.
1484
00:52:16,150 --> 00:52:16,983
You're good man.
1485
00:52:16,984 --> 00:52:18,595
- Thanks Boss.
1486
00:52:18,596 --> 00:52:19,598
See you later.
1487
00:52:19,599 --> 00:52:20,599
- Bye.
1488
00:52:28,810 --> 00:52:30,199
- Praise be.
1489
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,529
Last time I saw
an ass like that,
1490
00:52:31,530 --> 00:52:33,699
it was carrying our
lord and savior.
1491
00:52:33,700 --> 00:52:34,859
- Are you seriously
1492
00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:36,479
objectifying her right now?
1493
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,729
- No, I'm not objectifying her.
1494
00:52:38,730 --> 00:52:40,369
I'm just looking at her ass.
1495
00:52:40,370 --> 00:52:41,389
What's up with you broads
1496
00:52:41,390 --> 00:52:42,489
making up words and shit.
1497
00:52:42,490 --> 00:52:43,360
I'm trying to
1498
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:44,240
get my dick wet.
1499
00:52:44,241 --> 00:52:45,939
Talk to you later.
1500
00:52:45,940 --> 00:52:46,940
Anyway,
1501
00:52:47,759 --> 00:52:49,799
I feel like you can be Columbine
1502
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,632
and I decide to shoot a bunch
of kids inside of you.
1503
00:52:51,633 --> 00:52:54,109
Hmm?
1504
00:52:54,110 --> 00:52:55,389
You know mid 90s,
1505
00:52:55,390 --> 00:52:56,409
you're a pog.
1506
00:52:56,410 --> 00:52:58,595
I just start slamming that shit.
1507
00:52:58,596 --> 00:53:00,379
Maybe you pull a Fonz
1508
00:53:00,380 --> 00:53:02,537
and just bang against
the jukebox til.
1509
00:53:02,538 --> 00:53:04,199
Incubus plays,
1510
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:05,869
whatever that shit
is you're into.
1511
00:53:05,870 --> 00:53:06,850
Kati Perry?
1512
00:53:06,850 --> 00:53:07,683
Taylor Swift?
1513
00:53:07,683 --> 00:53:08,516
I don't know
1514
00:53:08,516 --> 00:53:09,430
how old we are yet.
1515
00:53:09,431 --> 00:53:10,890
Can you get a drink?
1516
00:53:10,891 --> 00:53:11,780
Do you need a drink?
1517
00:53:11,781 --> 00:53:13,049
- Hey Boss.
1518
00:53:13,050 --> 00:53:14,609
- Matthew.
1519
00:53:14,610 --> 00:53:15,443
- How's it going?
1520
00:53:15,444 --> 00:53:16,869
- Kevin, get
1521
00:53:16,870 --> 00:53:18,625
this bro a drink on me.
1522
00:53:18,626 --> 00:53:21,208
So scotch?
1523
00:53:21,209 --> 00:53:22,579
- Definitely.
1524
00:53:22,580 --> 00:53:23,753
Definitely scotch.
1525
00:53:24,612 --> 00:53:26,611
- I got this Highland
Park viking scotch.
1526
00:53:26,612 --> 00:53:28,879
Kevin suggested it.
1527
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:29,713
- Viking's honor.
1528
00:53:29,713 --> 00:53:30,713
- Viking's honor.
1529
00:53:32,290 --> 00:53:34,349
Good for us Norwegians.
1530
00:53:34,350 --> 00:53:36,229
- Yeah, but you know
what's not good for us.
1531
00:53:36,230 --> 00:53:38,329
What the fuck is this
AA pamphlet doing here?
1532
00:53:38,330 --> 00:53:40,599
AA Elias in here?
1533
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,131
- Yeah, he was just in here.
1534
00:53:42,132 --> 00:53:44,725
- I thought I saw that
snail trail leading in.
1535
00:53:44,726 --> 00:53:46,879
- Oh you heard about
that weekend, huh?
1536
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:48,279
- Yeah.
1537
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:49,545
The bender to remember.
1538
00:53:49,546 --> 00:53:50,966
- Alcoholics anonymous
1539
00:53:50,967 --> 00:53:53,029
suits people like him.
1540
00:53:53,030 --> 00:53:55,029
That was a hell of
a weekend for him.
1541
00:53:55,030 --> 00:53:55,863
I mean Jesus,
1542
00:53:55,864 --> 00:53:57,267
parents got to him
late Sunday night.
1543
00:53:57,268 --> 00:53:58,849
His liver's inflamed.
1544
00:53:58,850 --> 00:54:01,369
He's got the worst case of
chlamydia or gonorrhea.
1545
00:54:01,370 --> 00:54:04,385
That kid could not handle
a weekend of liqueur.
1546
00:54:04,386 --> 00:54:06,059
That was really,
1547
00:54:06,060 --> 00:54:07,984
I heard it was an epic weekend.
1548
00:54:07,985 --> 00:54:09,309
I heard it was a lot of fun.
1549
00:54:09,310 --> 00:54:11,239
- I saw him at the
beginning of that weekend.
1550
00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:15,029
He showed up with a
bottle of scotch
1551
00:54:15,030 --> 00:54:15,908
ready to roll.
1552
00:54:15,909 --> 00:54:17,411
- Oh yeah, he was a ball.
1553
00:54:17,412 --> 00:54:20,709
But yeah, I think
alcoholics anonymous
1554
00:54:20,710 --> 00:54:23,171
is the correct position for him.
1555
00:54:23,172 --> 00:54:24,169
I think that's the
1556
00:54:24,170 --> 00:54:25,919
great place for him.
1557
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:27,039
- Hey,
1558
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:28,629
coasters?
1559
00:54:28,630 --> 00:54:30,099
- I didn't see any.
1560
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:31,587
Kevin, you got coasters?
1561
00:54:31,588 --> 00:54:33,027
- We're all out.
1562
00:54:39,730 --> 00:54:40,730
- AA works.
1563
00:54:41,396 --> 00:54:42,229
- AA works.
1564
00:54:42,229 --> 00:54:43,229
- Alright.
1565
00:54:43,980 --> 00:54:45,529
- Do you need someone to
co-sign a loan for you?
1566
00:54:45,530 --> 00:54:47,353
I don't know where
you're at in your life.
1567
00:54:49,260 --> 00:54:50,759
Would you like to see
how much of my penis
1568
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:51,710
could fit in your mouth?
1569
00:54:51,711 --> 00:54:53,519
I think you could almost
get the whole thing.
1570
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:54,749
You seem like you have
1571
00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:55,583
like a really
1572
00:54:55,584 --> 00:54:57,819
just can do attitude,
1573
00:54:57,820 --> 00:54:58,869
you know what I mean.
1574
00:54:58,870 --> 00:55:00,349
You're a fighter.
1575
00:55:00,350 --> 00:55:01,270
You're a survivor.
1576
00:55:01,271 --> 00:55:02,904
- Are you a letter?
1577
00:55:02,905 --> 00:55:04,744
- I've been told
that I'm a D before.
1578
00:55:04,745 --> 00:55:06,503
So.
1579
00:55:06,504 --> 00:55:07,505
- As in a douchebag?
1580
00:55:07,506 --> 00:55:08,500
- Like dick.
1581
00:55:08,501 --> 00:55:11,709
I don't know if it's a big
one, but it's a pretty cock.
1582
00:55:11,710 --> 00:55:12,580
It's nice to look at.
1583
00:55:12,581 --> 00:55:13,979
- Anyway.
1584
00:55:13,980 --> 00:55:14,900
Since you're a letter,
1585
00:55:14,901 --> 00:55:16,584
I'm gonna need you
to C your way out.
1586
00:55:16,585 --> 00:55:17,739
- Oh, that's funny.
1587
00:55:17,740 --> 00:55:20,937
I'm gonna need to see
you M on those tits.
1588
00:55:22,562 --> 00:55:23,565
- I was actually
1589
00:55:23,566 --> 00:55:24,470
one of your businesses today.
1590
00:55:24,471 --> 00:55:26,009
- Well thank you for
your patronage.
1591
00:55:26,010 --> 00:55:27,464
- Yeah.
1592
00:55:29,060 --> 00:55:30,309
- That's classic.
1593
00:55:30,310 --> 00:55:32,184
Alright, which
place were you at?
1594
00:55:32,185 --> 00:55:33,763
- Mini cinema.
1595
00:55:33,764 --> 00:55:35,259
- Did you wash your hands
1596
00:55:35,260 --> 00:55:36,685
before you shook my hand there?
1597
00:55:36,686 --> 00:55:38,744
- Shit.
1598
00:55:38,745 --> 00:55:40,525
- That's okay, that's okay.
1599
00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:43,749
- So it was weird.
1600
00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:44,657
I went in there
1601
00:55:44,658 --> 00:55:46,744
and I didn't see
Porn peddler Pete.
1602
00:55:46,745 --> 00:55:49,041
- Oh, he doesn't
work for me anymore.
1603
00:55:49,042 --> 00:55:52,299
- What happened?
1604
00:55:52,300 --> 00:55:54,482
- Well he pirated pornography.
1605
00:55:54,483 --> 00:55:56,435
I can't stand for that.
1606
00:55:56,436 --> 00:55:58,639
I mean when you
sell pornography,
1607
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,159
you have to pay the taxes,
1608
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:01,439
the rights,
1609
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,744
all these different
fees towards it.
1610
00:56:02,745 --> 00:56:04,499
He didn't do that.
1611
00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:05,549
That's not right.
1612
00:56:05,550 --> 00:56:07,559
People spend a lot
of time and money
1613
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:08,440
making pornography.
1614
00:56:08,441 --> 00:56:10,089
They should be paid
1615
00:56:10,090 --> 00:56:11,923
a living wage for such things.
1616
00:56:11,924 --> 00:56:15,069
Yeah, so he was
pirating pornography
1617
00:56:15,070 --> 00:56:15,950
all over town.
1618
00:56:15,951 --> 00:56:17,624
And I found out about it
1619
00:56:17,625 --> 00:56:18,560
and I had to let I'm go.
1620
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:19,560
Broke his heart.
1621
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:20,393
He loved that job.
1622
00:56:20,393 --> 00:56:21,330
- He did love that job.
1623
00:56:21,331 --> 00:56:22,769
Man, this whole time,
1624
00:56:22,770 --> 00:56:24,449
everybody thought you
were morally bankrupt.
1625
00:56:24,450 --> 00:56:26,542
I guess we were just
in a recession.
1626
00:56:27,521 --> 00:56:28,787
- Irony isn't it.
1627
00:56:28,788 --> 00:56:30,409
- Now you say it,
1628
00:56:30,410 --> 00:56:31,949
now I do remember
something about it.
1629
00:56:31,950 --> 00:56:33,919
I heard his house got raided.
1630
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:34,949
Like the police came in,
1631
00:56:34,950 --> 00:56:36,156
swat team came in
1632
00:56:36,157 --> 00:56:38,504
and they found some
stuff in the basement.
1633
00:56:38,505 --> 00:56:40,299
- I didn't hear about this.
1634
00:56:40,300 --> 00:56:41,133
What?
1635
00:56:41,134 --> 00:56:42,723
- He had an archive
of secret things.
1636
00:56:42,724 --> 00:56:45,379
I mean it was almost
like Donnie Darko
1637
00:56:45,380 --> 00:56:46,849
and you realize Patrick Swayze
1638
00:56:46,850 --> 00:56:47,720
had like the
1639
00:56:47,721 --> 00:56:49,489
kiddie porn dungeon in there.
1640
00:56:49,490 --> 00:56:50,327
It wasn't like that.
1641
00:56:50,328 --> 00:56:52,409
It was a whole nother thing.
1642
00:56:52,410 --> 00:56:53,589
Raider porn.
1643
00:56:53,590 --> 00:56:54,423
- What's raider?
1644
00:56:54,423 --> 00:56:55,290
I've never heard
of a Raider porn.
1645
00:56:55,290 --> 00:56:56,290
What's Raider porn?
1646
00:56:57,510 --> 00:56:58,969
- It's when white supremacists
1647
00:56:58,970 --> 00:57:00,709
have furry parties
1648
00:57:00,710 --> 00:57:01,910
and they bang each other
1649
00:57:03,486 --> 00:57:04,319
and film it.
1650
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:05,747
- But wait a minute.
1651
00:57:05,748 --> 00:57:06,610
How many animals in
the animal kingdom
1652
00:57:06,611 --> 00:57:07,689
are actually white?
1653
00:57:07,690 --> 00:57:09,085
- Like a snow leopard.
1654
00:57:09,086 --> 00:57:10,845
- You got doves.
1655
00:57:10,846 --> 00:57:14,693
Like an albino squirrel maybe.
1656
00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:17,329
- God man, a polar bear.
1657
00:57:17,330 --> 00:57:18,163
- Polar bear.
1658
00:57:18,164 --> 00:57:19,405
- Polar bear.
1659
00:57:19,406 --> 00:57:20,404
Yeah, polar bear.
1660
00:57:20,405 --> 00:57:22,489
- You know when it's
white supremacists
1661
00:57:22,490 --> 00:57:24,205
is all in the
missionary position.
1662
00:57:25,326 --> 00:57:26,300
So it's gonna be boring as hell.
1663
00:57:26,300 --> 00:57:27,133
- But wait a minute,
1664
00:57:27,134 --> 00:57:28,439
if a brown bear comes in
1665
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:30,243
it just kind of throws
the whole thing off.
1666
00:57:30,244 --> 00:57:31,299
- Yeah.
1667
00:57:31,300 --> 00:57:32,961
They ain't letting this guy in.
1668
00:57:32,962 --> 00:57:33,981
Come on.
1669
00:57:33,982 --> 00:57:35,421
- Imagine he walks in,
1670
00:57:35,422 --> 00:57:36,942
do you mind if I dance
with your dates?
1671
00:57:37,502 --> 00:57:38,504
- Oh come on,
1672
00:57:38,505 --> 00:57:39,502
they're gonna worry about it.
1673
00:57:39,503 --> 00:57:40,504
They're gonna produce
some sort of skunk baby
1674
00:57:40,505 --> 00:57:41,502
in their minds.
1675
00:57:41,503 --> 00:57:42,504
Come on man.
1676
00:57:42,505 --> 00:57:43,502
That ain't gonna happen.
1677
00:57:43,503 --> 00:57:44,504
- Imagine a neo-Nazi
1678
00:57:44,505 --> 00:57:45,502
mid stroke in the
middle of raider porn
1679
00:57:45,503 --> 00:57:46,504
and a black bear walks in.
1680
00:57:46,505 --> 00:57:48,169
Allah, adult shop mop
1681
00:57:48,170 --> 00:57:49,864
and I'm soft.
1682
00:57:51,270 --> 00:57:52,130
- I mean hand job
1683
00:57:52,131 --> 00:57:53,439
even just,
1684
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,139
I watch you, you watch me.
1685
00:57:55,140 --> 00:57:55,973
I would
1686
00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:56,837
eat ass,
1687
00:57:56,838 --> 00:57:58,399
but that would be like
1688
00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:59,330
eating at Benny Hannas
1689
00:57:59,330 --> 00:58:00,250
from the looks of things.
1690
00:58:00,250 --> 00:58:01,170
- Seriously?
1691
00:58:01,171 --> 00:58:02,607
- Yeah.
1692
00:58:02,608 --> 00:58:03,441
For serious, oh big time.
1693
00:58:03,441 --> 00:58:04,274
- This is the best you can
do to pick up a girl?
1694
00:58:04,275 --> 00:58:06,023
- I mean,
1695
00:58:06,024 --> 00:58:07,830
the next one is either
pull out a wallet
1696
00:58:07,831 --> 00:58:11,649
or get you in one of my dad's
Nissan's or something.
1697
00:58:11,650 --> 00:58:12,630
I don't know
1698
00:58:12,631 --> 00:58:14,230
what you're currently,
1699
00:58:14,231 --> 00:58:15,328
your like current APR is
1700
00:58:15,329 --> 00:58:16,162
or what your
1701
00:58:16,163 --> 00:58:17,349
as far as lease
goes or anything,
1702
00:58:17,350 --> 00:58:18,183
but I can get you a car.
1703
00:58:18,184 --> 00:58:19,387
I can get you money.
1704
00:58:19,388 --> 00:58:22,619
Some fake titties, or something.
1705
00:58:22,620 --> 00:58:23,453
Whatever you want,
1706
00:58:23,453 --> 00:58:24,286
I would do it for you.
1707
00:58:24,287 --> 00:58:26,048
- Dude, I am too good for you.
1708
00:58:26,049 --> 00:58:28,004
- There's only one
way to find out.
1709
00:58:28,005 --> 00:58:29,088
And a lot of times,
1710
00:58:29,089 --> 00:58:29,922
like the big trend right now
1711
00:58:29,923 --> 00:58:31,088
I've seen online is for women
1712
00:58:31,089 --> 00:58:31,922
to like carry men.
1713
00:58:31,922 --> 00:58:32,755
I can be that piece
of shit boyfriend
1714
00:58:32,756 --> 00:58:34,089
that all your
friends joke about.
1715
00:58:34,090 --> 00:58:34,923
And you know, really though,
1716
00:58:34,924 --> 00:58:35,953
when you come home,
1717
00:58:35,954 --> 00:58:36,787
I'm...
1718
00:58:36,787 --> 00:58:37,620
- Dude, I've been
there, done that, so.
1719
00:58:37,620 --> 00:58:38,526
- You haven't done
this yet tough.
1720
00:58:38,527 --> 00:58:40,029
- Raider porn.
1721
00:58:40,030 --> 00:58:41,339
There's actually raider porn.
1722
00:58:41,340 --> 00:58:42,173
That's not a joke?
1723
00:58:42,174 --> 00:58:43,507
- No dude.
1724
00:58:43,508 --> 00:58:44,508
I'm dead serious.
1725
00:58:44,509 --> 00:58:45,509
- Why the hell did he have
raider porn in his basement?
1726
00:58:45,509 --> 00:58:46,342
- I don't know man.
1727
00:58:46,343 --> 00:58:49,129
He had like some weird, sick
little obsession in there.
1728
00:58:49,130 --> 00:58:49,963
And he kept going with it.
1729
00:58:49,964 --> 00:58:51,139
- And the cops
1730
00:58:51,140 --> 00:58:52,279
came for it.
1731
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,451
Oh god.
1732
00:58:53,452 --> 00:58:54,285
- They did dude.
1733
00:58:54,285 --> 00:58:55,118
- Oh my god.
1734
00:58:55,119 --> 00:58:56,939
I bet his nice little
Methodist mother
1735
00:58:56,940 --> 00:58:59,729
lost it when she saw
the cops showing up
1736
00:58:59,730 --> 00:59:01,050
to get his raider
porn collection.
1737
00:59:01,051 --> 00:59:02,592
- He was always in to like
1738
00:59:02,593 --> 00:59:03,611
weird figure skating,
1739
00:59:03,612 --> 00:59:04,445
but maybe because it's like
1740
00:59:04,446 --> 00:59:05,789
usually white petite girls.
1741
00:59:05,790 --> 00:59:06,652
- Well he was an interesting,
1742
00:59:06,653 --> 00:59:08,469
he was an interesting duck.
1743
00:59:08,470 --> 00:59:10,069
- Always kind of floating
through the air,
1744
00:59:10,070 --> 00:59:11,030
maybe like a bird.
1745
00:59:11,031 --> 00:59:12,230
- A strange kid, a strange kid.
1746
00:59:12,231 --> 00:59:13,749
But,
1747
00:59:13,750 --> 00:59:15,168
I can forgive all that.
1748
00:59:15,169 --> 00:59:17,009
But you don't pirate pornography
1749
00:59:17,010 --> 00:59:18,289
because people are
not being paid
1750
00:59:18,290 --> 00:59:19,910
the proper taxes,
fees and residuals
1751
00:59:19,911 --> 00:59:21,728
that they are entitled to.
1752
00:59:21,729 --> 00:59:23,739
But raider porn,
1753
00:59:23,740 --> 00:59:25,289
that's a bridge too far.
1754
00:59:25,290 --> 00:59:26,928
- Oh my god.
1755
00:59:26,929 --> 00:59:29,388
Look at this sack of shit.
1756
00:59:29,389 --> 00:59:30,699
Look at him.
1757
00:59:30,700 --> 00:59:31,745
- Oh Christ.
1758
00:59:31,746 --> 00:59:33,499
That is worse than
1759
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:37,129
having raider porn is being
a stand up comedian.
1760
00:59:37,130 --> 00:59:39,659
- I heard that porno
Pete was actually
1761
00:59:39,660 --> 00:59:41,239
saying that he was
watching that stuff
1762
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:43,414
to build up a stand
up comedy act.
1763
00:59:43,415 --> 00:59:44,719
- So his
1764
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,712
excuse was I have a raider
porn collection to...
1765
00:59:47,713 --> 00:59:50,559
- Work on a bit.
1766
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:51,759
- To work on a bit.
1767
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:53,609
I think I'd rather
be a porn hound
1768
00:59:53,610 --> 00:59:55,152
than be a stand up comedian.
1769
00:59:55,153 --> 00:59:55,986
That is like the
lowest of the low.
1770
00:59:55,987 --> 00:59:57,226
- God, can you imagine what
it would have been like
1771
00:59:57,227 --> 00:59:59,129
if we had to go around like
1772
00:59:59,130 --> 01:00:00,670
the community...
1773
01:00:00,671 --> 01:00:01,671
- You had to go door to door
1774
01:00:01,672 --> 01:00:03,072
and tell everybody
he was a standup.
1775
01:00:04,570 --> 01:00:05,699
I'm sorry.
1776
01:00:05,700 --> 01:00:07,268
I'm Pete, I live down at...
1777
01:00:07,269 --> 01:00:09,449
- I live within your community.
1778
01:00:09,450 --> 01:00:10,283
- Oh my god.
1779
01:00:10,284 --> 01:00:12,054
What was his Methodist
more upset about?
1780
01:00:12,055 --> 01:00:13,639
The fact that he was
1781
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:15,891
peddling porn and
pirating it all over town
1782
01:00:15,892 --> 01:00:18,229
or that he's gonna be
a stand up comedian?
1783
01:00:20,010 --> 01:00:21,209
- Dude, I don't know.
1784
01:00:21,210 --> 01:00:22,210
It's got.
1785
01:00:23,031 --> 01:00:24,230
Oh my god.
1786
01:00:24,231 --> 01:00:25,270
- Speaking, yeah, Jesus,
1787
01:00:25,271 --> 01:00:26,272
speaking of the devil,
1788
01:00:26,273 --> 01:00:27,271
look at that sack of shit.
1789
01:00:27,272 --> 01:00:28,294
Oh my god.
1790
01:00:28,295 --> 01:00:29,292
- Oh my god.
1791
01:00:29,293 --> 01:00:30,372
How embarrassing would that be.
1792
01:00:30,373 --> 01:00:31,574
- See,
1793
01:00:31,575 --> 01:00:34,839
I bet his parents are so proud.
1794
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:35,673
Oh my god.
1795
01:00:35,674 --> 01:00:36,729
- Oh yeah, definitely.
1796
01:00:36,730 --> 01:00:38,779
That guys is just driving like
1797
01:00:38,780 --> 01:00:40,639
a red mustang
1798
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:42,149
with a canvas top convertible.
1799
01:00:42,150 --> 01:00:43,819
Not even a V8, a V6.
1800
01:00:43,820 --> 01:00:44,700
Automatic.
1801
01:00:44,701 --> 01:00:46,309
- It was a V8.
1802
01:00:46,310 --> 01:00:48,331
I hope I'm never
1803
01:00:48,332 --> 01:00:51,094
that low that I have to
do something like that
1804
01:00:51,095 --> 01:00:52,299
to garner attention.
1805
01:00:52,300 --> 01:00:53,609
- Oh dude.
1806
01:00:53,610 --> 01:00:55,232
I'd rather be sucking dick
from behind in the alley
1807
01:00:55,233 --> 01:00:57,409
making decent wage off of that
1808
01:00:57,410 --> 01:00:58,879
than to ever have to
speak any kind of
1809
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:00,449
words into a microphone.
1810
01:01:00,450 --> 01:01:01,949
- Matt, please, let's
make a promise
1811
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:04,339
that we never, ever have
to do standup comedy.
1812
01:01:04,340 --> 01:01:05,340
- Yeah.
1813
01:01:09,550 --> 01:01:11,152
- Real quick, bathroom,
three minutes.
1814
01:01:11,153 --> 01:01:12,169
- I don't want to.
1815
01:01:12,170 --> 01:01:13,174
- Behind this jukebox?
1816
01:01:13,175 --> 01:01:14,170
We fucking pull this thing out.
1817
01:01:14,171 --> 01:01:15,174
- I really don't want to.
1818
01:01:15,175 --> 01:01:16,040
- That's okay.
1819
01:01:16,041 --> 01:01:17,396
I'll watch you do some stuff.
1820
01:01:17,397 --> 01:01:19,989
- Indeed rather have the
Bros two times over
1821
01:01:19,990 --> 01:01:21,689
than I'd have you.
1822
01:01:21,690 --> 01:01:23,409
- That'd probably
feel about the same.
1823
01:01:23,410 --> 01:01:24,934
You got a little
1824
01:01:24,935 --> 01:01:26,522
nubby nubby in each hand.
1825
01:01:26,523 --> 01:01:27,734
A little corn holder.
1826
01:01:27,735 --> 01:01:29,019
If that's what you want,
1827
01:01:29,020 --> 01:01:30,533
I'll arrange it.
1828
01:01:30,534 --> 01:01:31,367
I know them.
1829
01:01:31,368 --> 01:01:32,534
- They don't like you though.
1830
01:01:32,535 --> 01:01:34,002
- No one really
does, but I mean.
1831
01:01:34,003 --> 01:01:35,129
- Then why are you here?
1832
01:01:35,130 --> 01:01:38,539
If no one likes you,
then why are you here?
1833
01:01:38,540 --> 01:01:40,134
Why don't you go fuck off?
1834
01:01:40,135 --> 01:01:42,192
Back to Douche land?
1835
01:01:42,193 --> 01:01:43,449
- I will do that.
1836
01:01:43,450 --> 01:01:44,999
If you change your mind,
1837
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,219
- I'll be over here.
- I won't.
1838
01:01:46,220 --> 01:01:47,111
- That's okay.
1839
01:01:47,112 --> 01:01:48,132
- You might.
- So fuck off.
1840
01:01:48,133 --> 01:01:48,966
- I've got that thing
1841
01:01:48,966 --> 01:01:49,799
in the back of your mind.
1842
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:50,849
You'll be thinking about it.
1843
01:01:50,850 --> 01:01:51,683
- Nope.
- Think about it.
1844
01:01:51,684 --> 01:01:53,064
- Fuck off.
1845
01:01:53,065 --> 01:01:55,389
- God.
1846
01:01:55,390 --> 01:01:56,609
I can't get any pussy
in this place.
1847
01:01:56,610 --> 01:01:58,349
I might as well go fucking
kings and queens.
1848
01:01:58,350 --> 01:01:59,659
- Jesus Christ dude,
1849
01:01:59,660 --> 01:02:01,426
you're objectifying that sliz.
1850
01:02:01,427 --> 01:02:03,109
- What does that even mean?
1851
01:02:03,110 --> 01:02:04,249
Objectifying?
1852
01:02:04,250 --> 01:02:05,943
You sound like one
of those broads man.
1853
01:02:05,944 --> 01:02:07,211
- You know,
1854
01:02:07,212 --> 01:02:08,799
loose morals,
1855
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:09,751
a little bit of loose action.
1856
01:02:09,751 --> 01:02:10,584
That's what I mean.
1857
01:02:10,585 --> 01:02:13,339
- Yeah, then objectifying I was.
1858
01:02:13,340 --> 01:02:15,719
It's my objective all
night to do that.
1859
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:17,322
Trying to find some clam, man.
1860
01:02:17,323 --> 01:02:18,230
A little slam clam.
1861
01:02:18,230 --> 01:02:19,230
Clam digger.
1862
01:02:20,900 --> 01:02:22,059
Anything I can do
to muff some duff.
1863
01:02:22,060 --> 01:02:24,459
- I didn't realize your
a shoreman yourself.
1864
01:02:24,460 --> 01:02:25,569
Nectar Wookie,
1865
01:02:25,570 --> 01:02:26,899
a lifeless idiot
1866
01:02:26,900 --> 01:02:27,880
whose whole existence
1867
01:02:27,881 --> 01:02:30,150
consists of following around
bands like Base Nectar.
1868
01:02:30,151 --> 01:02:32,699
When they're not out
selling bunk drugs,
1869
01:02:32,700 --> 01:02:34,599
veggie burritos and
grilled cheese,
1870
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,189
they're often swiping drinks
1871
01:02:36,190 --> 01:02:38,729
and trying to borrow
literally everything
1872
01:02:38,730 --> 01:02:40,599
at music festivals.
1873
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,829
A Nectar Wookie is the
natural enemy of a hipster,
1874
01:02:43,830 --> 01:02:45,379
kind of like in Twilight
1875
01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:47,254
with the vampires
and werewolves.
1876
01:02:47,255 --> 01:02:50,909
Hey, Kristen Steward is a jew.
1877
01:02:50,910 --> 01:02:52,999
Why else would she get
with a 100 year old guy
1878
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,811
with a nice german car?
1879
01:02:58,687 --> 01:03:00,589
- I don't mean to cause alarm,
1880
01:03:00,590 --> 01:03:02,912
but doth my nostrils deceive me,
1881
01:03:02,913 --> 01:03:05,509
we have a nectar wookie
1882
01:03:05,510 --> 01:03:06,510
in our midst.
1883
01:03:08,150 --> 01:03:10,479
- Oh, I'm sorry yeah.
1884
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:11,313
That's me.
1885
01:03:11,314 --> 01:03:12,811
I haven't,
1886
01:03:12,812 --> 01:03:14,208
I haven't showered
in a few weeks, so.
1887
01:03:14,209 --> 01:03:16,870
- Also, Bonoroo has a
bathroom in a few weeks.
1888
01:03:16,871 --> 01:03:18,919
- No, that's,
1889
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:20,672
that's actually next week,
1890
01:03:20,673 --> 01:03:22,192
I'm pretty sure.
1891
01:03:22,193 --> 01:03:23,202
Yeah.
1892
01:03:23,203 --> 01:03:24,813
- I don't have marijuana.
1893
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:28,023
That drink was not yours.
1894
01:03:28,929 --> 01:03:31,769
Bonoroo is that way.
1895
01:03:31,770 --> 01:03:33,259
- Oh, okay.
1896
01:03:33,260 --> 01:03:34,879
- Yeah, Phish is about
to take the stage man.
1897
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:35,919
You should go.
1898
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,149
- Guess what,
1899
01:03:37,150 --> 01:03:38,040
guess what,
1900
01:03:38,041 --> 01:03:39,139
Base Nectar
1901
01:03:39,140 --> 01:03:40,719
not on the jukebox.
1902
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:42,099
How about you dubstep
1903
01:03:42,100 --> 01:03:43,379
walk away from the situation
1904
01:03:43,380 --> 01:03:44,949
you fucking wookie.
1905
01:03:44,950 --> 01:03:45,790
- Jesus, okay.
1906
01:03:45,790 --> 01:03:46,623
I'm sorry.
1907
01:03:46,624 --> 01:03:48,149
- Stay the fuck out
of gong fu, okay.
1908
01:03:48,150 --> 01:03:49,328
- By the way,
1909
01:03:49,329 --> 01:03:51,190
you guys have any mushrooms?
1910
01:03:51,191 --> 01:03:52,308
- Get the fuck out of here.
1911
01:03:52,309 --> 01:03:53,290
We don't have anything.
1912
01:03:53,291 --> 01:03:55,490
- Fucking Mark Walberg
in Rock Star.
1913
01:03:57,964 --> 01:03:59,029
- That's not a bad
movie, honestly.
1914
01:03:59,030 --> 01:04:01,081
- Hey, did you see what
happened to my drink?
1915
01:04:01,082 --> 01:04:03,119
- Sorry man.
1916
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:05,169
The fucking woff took it.
1917
01:04:05,170 --> 01:04:06,003
- Sorry man.
1918
01:04:06,004 --> 01:04:07,259
- Thanks for looking out, man.
1919
01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:09,523
Bartender, get these
bros a drink on me.
1920
01:04:11,710 --> 01:04:13,459
- So bros, it's last call.
1921
01:04:13,460 --> 01:04:14,949
What are you thinking?
1922
01:04:14,950 --> 01:04:15,979
- Scotch.
1923
01:04:15,980 --> 01:04:17,149
- Scotch.
1924
01:04:17,150 --> 01:04:18,439
- Scotch?
1925
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:19,273
- Scotch.
1926
01:04:19,274 --> 01:04:20,442
- Scotch.
1927
01:04:20,443 --> 01:04:21,446
- Better not be Doers.
1928
01:04:21,447 --> 01:04:22,444
- Alright, bros,
1929
01:04:22,445 --> 01:04:23,601
this is Singleton,
1930
01:04:23,602 --> 01:04:24,652
the Glenlive 12 year,
1931
01:04:25,500 --> 01:04:26,779
single malt.
1932
01:04:26,780 --> 01:04:27,919
You know about that, Harold.
1933
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:30,033
- Hey, it's not Doers
guys, we're good.
1934
01:04:32,983 --> 01:04:34,143
- We'll pour it neat.
1935
01:04:34,723 --> 01:04:36,785
- You know what that means?
1936
01:04:36,786 --> 01:04:37,619
- No.
1937
01:04:37,620 --> 01:04:38,705
- Harold.
1938
01:04:38,706 --> 01:04:40,187
- Yes?
1939
01:04:40,188 --> 01:04:42,369
- You're pouring
it really quick.
1940
01:04:42,370 --> 01:04:43,641
That's neat man.
1941
01:04:43,642 --> 01:04:45,193
Neato.
1942
01:04:48,082 --> 01:04:48,915
- What I'm gonna do now
1943
01:04:48,916 --> 01:04:50,801
is I'm gonna put a
couple drops of water
1944
01:04:50,802 --> 01:04:51,635
in each one.
1945
01:04:51,636 --> 01:04:53,499
It changes the
molecular density.
1946
01:04:53,500 --> 01:04:54,500
It opens it up.
1947
01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:56,769
- Like a bouquet.
1948
01:04:56,770 --> 01:04:57,999
- Exactly.
1949
01:04:58,000 --> 01:04:59,319
- Like a lady's legs.
1950
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:00,770
- With the best water
1951
01:05:01,724 --> 01:05:02,570
in the valley.
1952
01:05:02,571 --> 01:05:04,389
Actually in the world.
1953
01:05:04,390 --> 01:05:05,390
- Yep.
1954
01:05:06,220 --> 01:05:08,158
- Best hangover cure
1955
01:05:08,159 --> 01:05:09,589
right there.
1956
01:05:09,590 --> 01:05:11,229
Water.
1957
01:05:11,230 --> 01:05:13,280
- I wish we had some
Roy Orbesen records.
1958
01:05:21,308 --> 01:05:23,377
Is that how you
discard your scotch?
1959
01:05:23,378 --> 01:05:25,142
- Yeah, is there another way?
1960
01:05:25,143 --> 01:05:26,799
- My god, you're still doing
1961
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,449
fucking Big League Chew?
1962
01:05:28,450 --> 01:05:29,283
- Fucking A right man,
1963
01:05:29,284 --> 01:05:30,561
cause I'm a pro.
1964
01:05:30,562 --> 01:05:31,598
- We should have
given him Doers.
1965
01:05:31,599 --> 01:05:35,745
- What is the next
plan of attack?
1966
01:05:35,746 --> 01:05:37,599
Cause this is a lot of
fun and all, but...
1967
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:39,281
- I have a Lyft.
1968
01:05:39,282 --> 01:05:40,881
- Who?
1969
01:05:40,882 --> 01:05:43,079
- Somebody named Ling.
1970
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:44,099
- No.
1971
01:05:44,100 --> 01:05:45,100
No, no, no, no.
1972
01:05:46,343 --> 01:05:47,629
Trust me.
1973
01:05:47,630 --> 01:05:49,649
I got pepper sprayed
by that broad.
1974
01:05:49,650 --> 01:05:50,779
No.
1975
01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:52,081
- I'm from Brooklyn,
you motherfucker.
1976
01:05:52,082 --> 01:05:53,050
- Wait, wait,
1977
01:05:53,051 --> 01:05:54,742
there's a Brooklyn in China?
1978
01:05:54,743 --> 01:05:56,843
- I sprayed her with my pepper.
1979
01:05:56,844 --> 01:05:58,866
- Oh, I think I heard of that.
1980
01:05:58,867 --> 01:06:01,119
Did she join AA
Elias after that?
1981
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:02,709
- Oh hell yeah, she did.
1982
01:06:02,710 --> 01:06:03,543
- Okay.
1983
01:06:03,544 --> 01:06:04,763
- Oh yeah.
1984
01:06:04,764 --> 01:06:05,949
- Yeah I'd sober up if I
had to bang this guy.
1985
01:06:05,950 --> 01:06:06,783
- I'm just saying,
1986
01:06:06,783 --> 01:06:07,616
if I had my dick inside you you,
1987
01:06:07,617 --> 01:06:09,323
your gonna make some good
positive changes in life.
1988
01:06:09,324 --> 01:06:10,599
- My god.
1989
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:12,059
Look, I'm gonna get on.
1990
01:06:12,060 --> 01:06:13,010
Uber right now.
1991
01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:14,979
I know I'm not gonna get
in the fucking Uber Jew.
1992
01:06:14,980 --> 01:06:16,159
- Oh, the Uber Jew.
1993
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:17,289
Yah.
1994
01:06:17,290 --> 01:06:18,449
- Uber Jew?
1995
01:06:18,450 --> 01:06:19,283
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1996
01:06:19,284 --> 01:06:20,799
- It seems a little
1997
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:22,305
antisemitic and maybe
a bit tasteless.
1998
01:06:22,306 --> 01:06:23,909
- Oh my god.
1999
01:06:23,910 --> 01:06:27,409
It's not like I fucking called
in the sheeny shuttler.
2000
01:06:27,410 --> 01:06:29,803
Fucking kike cart dude.
2001
01:06:29,804 --> 01:06:31,559
Oh my god dude.
2002
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:33,239
- I'm on the old hieve highway.
2003
01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:35,613
- Hey,
2004
01:06:37,858 --> 01:06:38,850
- I wouldn't say I'm gay.
2005
01:06:38,851 --> 01:06:41,361
But I've definitely done
some gay shit, dude.
2006
01:06:41,362 --> 01:06:43,294
- Yeah you have.
2007
01:06:43,295 --> 01:06:44,223
- Yeah.
2008
01:06:44,224 --> 01:06:45,259
- We're fully aware.
2009
01:06:45,260 --> 01:06:47,161
- You haven't?
2010
01:06:47,162 --> 01:06:50,469
No?
2011
01:06:50,470 --> 01:06:51,935
- No.
2012
01:06:51,936 --> 01:06:52,884
- Harold was never
2013
01:06:52,885 --> 01:06:54,177
partook in homosexual.
2014
01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:55,011
- You're gonna tell
me with that jacket,
2015
01:06:55,012 --> 01:06:57,573
and that beard you guys have
never done anything gay?
2016
01:06:59,100 --> 01:07:00,883
- Maybe watched the WNBA.
2017
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:05,374
- I would tell you,
2018
01:07:05,375 --> 01:07:06,574
if you got more in touch
2019
01:07:06,575 --> 01:07:07,408
with your male side,
2020
01:07:07,409 --> 01:07:08,679
you might have,
2021
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:09,513
I don't know,
2022
01:07:09,514 --> 01:07:11,052
more luck getting women.
2023
01:07:11,053 --> 01:07:12,739
- I actually prefer the WNBA.
2024
01:07:12,740 --> 01:07:14,195
It's more a team sport.
2025
01:07:16,091 --> 01:07:17,649
- The only reason you
like watching the WNBA
2026
01:07:17,650 --> 01:07:18,969
is because a lot of those ladies
2027
01:07:18,970 --> 01:07:20,229
have Adam's apples.
2028
01:07:20,230 --> 01:07:21,598
- I really appreciate
their talent.
2029
01:07:21,599 --> 01:07:22,590
- God, would you be in to it
2030
01:07:22,591 --> 01:07:23,869
if they did?
2031
01:07:23,870 --> 01:07:25,338
- No, dude.
2032
01:07:25,339 --> 01:07:27,669
I'm like a fucking
ancient Roman warrior.
2033
01:07:27,670 --> 01:07:30,069
That is the only reason why
me and my other male friends
2034
01:07:30,070 --> 01:07:31,939
have bonded in the
way that we have.
2035
01:07:31,940 --> 01:07:34,399
I wouldn't say it's
anything sexual about it.
2036
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:35,459
It's more about
2037
01:07:35,460 --> 01:07:36,819
becoming brothers,
2038
01:07:36,820 --> 01:07:38,238
becoming closer than
you ever could.
2039
01:07:38,239 --> 01:07:39,357
Someone's life in your hands,
2040
01:07:39,358 --> 01:07:41,553
you want to really
trust somebody,
2041
01:07:41,554 --> 01:07:43,515
jerk that dick off.
2042
01:07:43,516 --> 01:07:44,410
You know what I mean.
2043
01:07:44,411 --> 01:07:46,219
You really learn a
lot about somebody.
2044
01:07:46,220 --> 01:07:47,678
- Achilles and
Hector, you are not.
2045
01:07:47,679 --> 01:07:49,349
- No, hell no.
2046
01:07:49,350 --> 01:07:51,459
I'm not gonna die because the
back of my fucking ankle
2047
01:07:51,460 --> 01:07:52,390
gets tweaked.
2048
01:07:52,391 --> 01:07:53,655
You know what I mean.
2049
01:07:54,890 --> 01:07:56,355
No, I'm
2050
01:07:56,356 --> 01:07:57,739
like Brad Pitt,
2051
01:07:57,740 --> 01:07:59,395
but more like Brad
Pitt in Snatch.
2052
01:07:59,396 --> 01:08:00,739
You know what the fuck I mean.
2053
01:08:00,740 --> 01:08:02,289
- You like dikes?
2054
01:08:02,290 --> 01:08:03,575
- Yeah.
2055
01:08:03,576 --> 01:08:04,420
Do I like dikes?
2056
01:08:04,421 --> 01:08:05,715
Or docks?
2057
01:08:05,716 --> 01:08:06,718
- Guys.
2058
01:08:06,719 --> 01:08:07,552
You like guys?
2059
01:08:07,553 --> 01:08:09,599
- Eh, I wouldn't
say I like them,
2060
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,039
but if you've never had
a dude jerk you off,
2061
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:13,577
you haven't lived.
2062
01:08:13,578 --> 01:08:15,319
The textile strength
that a man has
2063
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:17,259
is so much better
than a woman's.
2064
01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:18,819
- Those calluses.
2065
01:08:18,820 --> 01:08:21,049
- It's like getting
a fucking handjob
2066
01:08:21,050 --> 01:08:22,937
from a ranch hand, you
know what I mean.
2067
01:08:22,938 --> 01:08:26,537
Just a good firm old
Midwestern hand shake.
2068
01:08:26,538 --> 01:08:29,417
You know what I'm talking about.
2069
01:08:29,418 --> 01:08:30,619
In fact,
2070
01:08:30,620 --> 01:08:31,453
let me show you.
2071
01:08:31,454 --> 01:08:32,889
From what I've learned by,
2072
01:08:32,890 --> 01:08:33,723
I don't know,
2073
01:08:33,724 --> 01:08:35,118
being amongst my fellow men,
2074
01:08:35,119 --> 01:08:37,209
I'm gonna teach that
lady over there
2075
01:08:37,210 --> 01:08:38,752
a thing or two
2076
01:08:38,753 --> 01:08:40,094
she's never seen.
2077
01:08:41,108 --> 01:08:43,278
I'm gonna get her to
suck my whole penis.
2078
01:08:43,279 --> 01:08:44,297
- Her?
2079
01:08:44,298 --> 01:08:45,295
- Yeah.
2080
01:08:45,295 --> 01:08:46,128
- Her?
- Yeah.
2081
01:08:46,129 --> 01:08:47,315
Tiddle biddies over there.
2082
01:08:47,316 --> 01:08:48,318
- Her?
2083
01:08:48,319 --> 01:08:49,316
- Her?
2084
01:08:49,317 --> 01:08:50,334
- Yes, let me,
2085
01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:51,168
let me show you guys, okay.
2086
01:08:51,169 --> 01:08:52,769
I'm, this is gonna be.
2087
01:08:52,770 --> 01:08:54,699
Trojan warrior
2088
01:08:54,700 --> 01:08:57,553
and that's my young squire.
2089
01:08:57,554 --> 01:08:58,510
- This is the
moment where Harold
2090
01:08:58,511 --> 01:09:00,923
is continually baffled
at how we are friends.
2091
01:09:01,999 --> 01:09:02,832
- Let me give you a
piece of advice.
2092
01:09:02,833 --> 01:09:04,139
- I wouldn't recommend this.
2093
01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:05,395
- I would not recommend this.
2094
01:09:05,396 --> 01:09:06,494
- Why?
2095
01:09:08,474 --> 01:09:10,029
She's too easy.
2096
01:09:10,030 --> 01:09:11,235
It's too easy of a kill?
2097
01:09:11,236 --> 01:09:13,209
It's like hunting
a wounded deer?
2098
01:09:13,210 --> 01:09:14,130
That's fine.
2099
01:09:14,131 --> 01:09:15,335
That's all I fucking hunt,
2100
01:09:15,336 --> 01:09:16,755
you know what I mean.
2101
01:09:16,756 --> 01:09:17,754
- I think Tyler
needs a challenge.
2102
01:09:17,755 --> 01:09:20,369
- I'll accept roadkill.
2103
01:09:20,370 --> 01:09:21,360
Yeah, absolutely.
2104
01:09:21,361 --> 01:09:22,719
- Okay.
2105
01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:24,099
- How about just enough funds
2106
01:09:24,100 --> 01:09:25,050
to go malt scotch
2107
01:09:25,051 --> 01:09:26,793
to appreciate this moment.
2108
01:09:26,794 --> 01:09:27,730
- You guys keep my seat warm.
2109
01:09:27,731 --> 01:09:29,489
I'll be getting my dick wet.
2110
01:09:29,490 --> 01:09:30,323
When I get back,
2111
01:09:30,324 --> 01:09:31,809
you guys can help dab it off
2112
01:09:31,810 --> 01:09:32,643
and tell me how great we did.
2113
01:09:32,644 --> 01:09:34,350
- He's always so rude.
2114
01:09:36,530 --> 01:09:37,363
I'm not a prude,
2115
01:09:37,364 --> 01:09:39,223
but I can see him
appreciating the crude.
2116
01:09:43,010 --> 01:09:44,461
- What's up girl?
2117
01:09:44,462 --> 01:09:45,295
Get you a drink?
2118
01:09:45,295 --> 01:09:46,128
- Yeah.
2119
01:09:46,128 --> 01:09:46,961
Like Red Bulls over here, baby.
2120
01:09:46,962 --> 01:09:48,118
- Sure, I love to smash
Red Bull vodkas with you
2121
01:09:48,119 --> 01:09:49,340
all night
2122
01:09:49,341 --> 01:09:52,396
and then you can
fuck me doggie style
2123
01:09:52,397 --> 01:09:54,720
while we watch the new season
of Blue Mountain State.
2124
01:09:54,721 --> 01:09:57,644
Do you like Nickleback
as much as I do?
2125
01:09:57,645 --> 01:09:58,478
- Yes.
2126
01:09:58,478 --> 01:09:59,311
- Yeah.
- Oh my god, yeah.
2127
01:09:59,311 --> 01:10:00,144
- I fucking love Tool.
2128
01:10:00,144 --> 01:10:01,144
Yeah.
2129
01:10:03,150 --> 01:10:04,150
- Pull my hair.
2130
01:10:05,218 --> 01:10:07,100
- You're towing my toolbox baby.
2131
01:10:07,101 --> 01:10:08,358
- Oh god.
2132
01:10:08,359 --> 01:10:09,737
Get this little tool
out right here.
2133
01:10:09,738 --> 01:10:12,071
- Why do you call it little?
2134
01:10:13,252 --> 01:10:15,951
- Damn, can I get a couple
vodka red bulls on her please?
2135
01:10:15,952 --> 01:10:18,493
- Wow, seriously?
2136
01:10:18,494 --> 01:10:19,327
- Uh uh.
2137
01:10:19,328 --> 01:10:21,177
- Who the fuck do
you think you are?
2138
01:10:21,178 --> 01:10:23,539
Do you think I'm just
some little tool shed
2139
01:10:23,540 --> 01:10:24,426
you can do whatever the
fuck you want with?
2140
01:10:24,427 --> 01:10:29,426
God, you are such a
typical Cedar Falls WASP
2141
01:10:30,510 --> 01:10:31,889
who probably only got
through high school
2142
01:10:31,890 --> 01:10:33,921
on the fact that daddy
owned a car dealership.
2143
01:10:33,922 --> 01:10:35,780
How many freshmen cheerleaders
2144
01:10:35,781 --> 01:10:38,129
have you had your dirty
little fingers in
2145
01:10:38,130 --> 01:10:39,519
after a lacrosse game?
2146
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:40,357
Huh?
2147
01:10:40,358 --> 01:10:41,669
Go home.
2148
01:10:41,670 --> 01:10:43,289
Yeah, I can smell
them from here.
2149
01:10:43,290 --> 01:10:44,270
Go home,
2150
01:10:44,271 --> 01:10:46,039
wash off the Axe body spray
2151
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:47,779
and wait for the next
time that your mom
2152
01:10:47,780 --> 01:10:48,889
signs you up
2153
01:10:48,890 --> 01:10:49,989
for a bachelor date night
2154
01:10:49,990 --> 01:10:51,893
at your town's failing
country club.
2155
01:10:52,847 --> 01:10:53,680
- Wow.
2156
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:54,513
You blew it.
2157
01:10:54,514 --> 01:10:56,063
Guess who played piccolo
their freshman year.
2158
01:10:56,064 --> 01:10:57,588
Peace.
2159
01:10:57,589 --> 01:10:58,628
- Whatever.
2160
01:10:58,629 --> 01:11:01,779
Small penis.
2161
01:11:01,780 --> 01:11:03,159
- It's bigger than yours.
2162
01:11:03,160 --> 01:11:04,929
- I can't even see it
through your jeans.
2163
01:11:04,930 --> 01:11:06,713
Get out of here.
2164
01:11:06,714 --> 01:11:07,789
- That's cause they're dark.
2165
01:11:07,790 --> 01:11:10,451
- Oh, what gives Charlie Brown?
2166
01:11:10,452 --> 01:11:12,028
- Fuck you man.
2167
01:11:12,029 --> 01:11:14,612
I struck out.
2168
01:11:14,613 --> 01:11:15,446
- Her?
2169
01:11:15,447 --> 01:11:16,612
With her?
2170
01:11:16,613 --> 01:11:17,673
- Her?
2171
01:11:17,674 --> 01:11:18,520
- Yeah, I struck out with her.
2172
01:11:18,521 --> 01:11:19,819
What's happened to me?
2173
01:11:19,820 --> 01:11:20,653
- Fuck this.
2174
01:11:20,654 --> 01:11:22,486
- Like pirates
2175
01:11:22,487 --> 01:11:23,499
- I think it was Kirk tonight.
2176
01:11:23,500 --> 01:11:24,500
- Guys.
2177
01:11:25,573 --> 01:11:26,750
I'm calling in the
nuclear option.
2178
01:11:26,751 --> 01:11:28,339
- No.
2179
01:11:28,340 --> 01:11:29,709
Not the man who's had more girls
2180
01:11:29,710 --> 01:11:30,990
than anyone in Cedar Valley.
2181
01:11:30,991 --> 01:11:31,980
- Yes.
2182
01:11:31,981 --> 01:11:33,599
The sultan of sliz himself.
2183
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:35,252
- I do admire that
man's sexual prowess.
2184
01:11:35,253 --> 01:11:38,579
- And send.
2185
01:11:38,580 --> 01:11:39,890
- She's doomed.
- Oh boy.
2186
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:48,073
- Sir, you have a message.
2187
01:12:21,860 --> 01:12:23,414
- Tyler,
2188
01:12:23,415 --> 01:12:24,516
Matt,
2189
01:12:24,517 --> 01:12:25,518
Harold.
2190
01:12:25,519 --> 01:12:26,533
- Mr. Lance.
2191
01:12:26,534 --> 01:12:27,519
Now might be a real good time
2192
01:12:27,519 --> 01:12:28,352
for you to get horny.
2193
01:12:28,353 --> 01:12:29,809
- It's my secret, Matt.
2194
01:12:29,810 --> 01:12:30,643
I'm always horny.
2195
01:12:30,643 --> 01:12:31,519
- Mr. Lance.
- So cool.
2196
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:35,076
- He called me Harold.
2197
01:12:35,077 --> 01:12:36,077
- Oh my god.
2198
01:12:37,039 --> 01:12:38,739
Are you Jeff Lance?
2199
01:12:38,740 --> 01:12:40,433
- You're goddamn right.
2200
01:12:46,950 --> 01:12:48,656
Bros, Jeff Lance.
2201
01:12:53,958 --> 01:12:54,890
- So what are you guys
doing after this?
2202
01:12:54,891 --> 01:12:56,649
- Going to Cornstalk
at Spicoli's.
2203
01:12:56,650 --> 01:12:57,483
- Oh really.
2204
01:12:57,484 --> 01:13:00,309
- I heard Carolina
Spine is playing.
2205
01:13:00,310 --> 01:13:01,449
- Caroline.
2206
01:13:01,450 --> 01:13:02,450
Spine.
2207
01:13:02,451 --> 01:13:04,039
- Caroline.
2208
01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:05,179
- Spine.
- Get it right.
2209
01:13:05,180 --> 01:13:06,764
- I'm sorry.
2210
01:13:06,765 --> 01:13:07,690
- You know that song
about Waterloo, right.
2211
01:13:07,691 --> 01:13:08,940
- Yes, called Mrs. Sullivan.
2212
01:13:08,941 --> 01:13:11,529
- Okay, so like about this
Sullivan brothers and
2213
01:13:11,530 --> 01:13:13,841
all that jazz.
2214
01:13:13,842 --> 01:13:15,143
Okay, okay.
2215
01:13:15,144 --> 01:13:16,439
- So oh my god, right,
2216
01:13:16,440 --> 01:13:17,273
we gotta go.
2217
01:13:17,274 --> 01:13:18,444
- Yep, gotta go.
2218
01:13:18,445 --> 01:13:19,442
- Let's do this.
2219
01:13:19,443 --> 01:13:21,173
- Carolina Spine.
2220
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:24,709
- Alright guys seriously,
2221
01:13:24,710 --> 01:13:26,049
get on the fucking horns.
2222
01:13:26,050 --> 01:13:27,069
We need a driver.
2223
01:13:27,070 --> 01:13:28,159
We gotta get down man.
2224
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:29,289
Caroline's Spine.
2225
01:13:29,290 --> 01:13:30,290
- Okay, got it.
2226
01:13:31,270 --> 01:13:32,639
- Look at this, the initiative,
2227
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:34,081
I love it.
2228
01:13:34,082 --> 01:13:35,064
Tyler the tool.
2229
01:13:35,065 --> 01:13:36,140
Does that say fucking Grinder?
2230
01:13:36,141 --> 01:13:37,050
- Yeah dude,
2231
01:13:37,051 --> 01:13:38,419
trying to get my
butt hole licked.
2232
01:13:38,420 --> 01:13:39,879
- Can't meet a woman
with a tongue strength
2233
01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:41,149
that I require.
2234
01:13:41,150 --> 01:13:42,789
- Tyler,
2235
01:13:42,790 --> 01:13:44,160
cool it with the
butt stuff, bros.
2236
01:13:44,161 --> 01:13:46,359
I've done it.
2237
01:13:46,360 --> 01:13:47,589
- You got a ride?
2238
01:13:47,590 --> 01:13:48,639
- I'm a miracle worker.
2239
01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:49,899
- It can't be Lyft.
2240
01:13:49,900 --> 01:13:51,509
- Doth my eyes deceive me.
2241
01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:52,410
- There's this asian lady,
2242
01:13:52,411 --> 01:13:53,879
I climbed her great wall
2243
01:13:53,880 --> 01:13:55,489
like I was Mongolian.
2244
01:13:55,490 --> 01:13:57,201
Genghis Khan up in that bitch.
2245
01:13:57,202 --> 01:13:58,070
- This,
2246
01:13:58,071 --> 01:13:59,420
this is as poetic
as Silvia Plath.
2247
01:13:59,421 --> 01:14:00,809
It is.
2248
01:14:00,810 --> 01:14:01,643
- Silvia Plath?
2249
01:14:01,644 --> 01:14:03,109
- It most certainly is.
2250
01:14:03,110 --> 01:14:04,449
- The chick that
wrote Frankenstein?
2251
01:14:04,450 --> 01:14:06,489
- Harold's eyes doth
not deceive him.
2252
01:14:06,490 --> 01:14:07,490
- Oh my god.
2253
01:14:08,962 --> 01:14:09,840
They should have sent a poet.
2254
01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:10,840
- They did.
2255
01:14:11,682 --> 01:14:13,639
- Like Robert Frost?
2256
01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:16,633
- It's gold doth stay.
2257
01:14:19,298 --> 01:14:21,169
- The Uber Jew,
2258
01:14:21,170 --> 01:14:22,329
the Jewish Uber driver
2259
01:14:22,330 --> 01:14:23,749
who is very Jewish,
2260
01:14:23,750 --> 01:14:25,519
hence he is.
2261
01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:26,370
Uber Jew,
2262
01:14:26,371 --> 01:14:29,389
the greatest uber driver ever.
2263
01:14:29,390 --> 01:14:31,141
Fucking love that hebe.
2264
01:14:31,142 --> 01:14:33,699
Hey, he
2265
01:14:33,700 --> 01:14:35,429
who finds faithful friend
2266
01:14:35,430 --> 01:14:37,163
finds a treasure.
2267
01:14:37,164 --> 01:14:39,061
That's a Jewish proverb.
2268
01:14:39,062 --> 01:14:40,473
- Hey,
2269
01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:46,649
Bros got room for one more?
2270
01:14:46,650 --> 01:14:47,650
- Tanner!
2271
01:14:47,650 --> 01:14:48,650
- Hey.
2272
01:14:52,310 --> 01:14:54,139
- Turtles Reunion tour?
2273
01:14:56,460 --> 01:14:59,360
- You got to sit in the back.
2274
01:14:59,361 --> 01:15:00,741
- You got to sit bitch.
2275
01:15:00,742 --> 01:15:02,389
- Okay.
2276
01:15:02,390 --> 01:15:03,541
- Oh my god.
2277
01:15:03,542 --> 01:15:05,621
There hasn't been
2278
01:15:05,622 --> 01:15:06,622
anyone
2279
01:15:07,588 --> 01:15:09,359
as happy to see a Jew
2280
01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:10,193
since I don't know,
2281
01:15:10,194 --> 01:15:12,427
the disciples on first Easter.
2282
01:15:12,428 --> 01:15:15,045
- Starting with that
right away, huh.
2283
01:15:15,046 --> 01:15:18,404
- Wait, so why are
you back here again?
2284
01:15:18,405 --> 01:15:20,564
- Well, I moved back.
2285
01:15:20,565 --> 01:15:22,403
The cost of living in
2286
01:15:22,404 --> 01:15:24,029
Chicago was a little
too high for me.
2287
01:15:24,030 --> 01:15:25,966
- Were you really
in Chicago though?
2288
01:15:25,967 --> 01:15:27,485
Were you in Logan Square?
2289
01:15:27,486 --> 01:15:29,648
- I don't believe we've met.
- Or more like Evanston?
2290
01:15:29,649 --> 01:15:31,947
- Well Schaumburg actually.
2291
01:15:31,948 --> 01:15:33,469
- I'm Harold.
2292
01:15:33,470 --> 01:15:34,759
No, we have not
had the pleasure.
2293
01:15:34,760 --> 01:15:35,670
- Yeah, I was gonna say
2294
01:15:35,671 --> 01:15:37,249
I would remember that beard.
2295
01:15:37,250 --> 01:15:39,008
- Is it reminiscent
of mahogany and ash?
2296
01:15:39,009 --> 01:15:41,605
- No.
2297
01:15:41,606 --> 01:15:44,219
- Dude, that fucking
hat is sick.
2298
01:15:44,220 --> 01:15:45,709
I gotta get me one of those
2299
01:15:45,710 --> 01:15:47,344
with gold on it.
2300
01:15:47,345 --> 01:15:48,347
And instead of the star,
2301
01:15:48,348 --> 01:15:49,365
maybe use something like a knife
2302
01:15:49,366 --> 01:15:50,804
or like a or something.
2303
01:15:50,805 --> 01:15:53,147
- I think that would
be a little much.
2304
01:15:53,148 --> 01:15:54,944
You know I have to say,
2305
01:15:54,945 --> 01:15:56,384
I'm a little surprised.
2306
01:15:56,385 --> 01:15:57,382
- Oh.
2307
01:15:57,383 --> 01:15:58,421
- To see
2308
01:15:58,422 --> 01:15:59,643
a hipster,
2309
01:15:59,644 --> 01:16:00,661
a tool,
2310
01:16:00,662 --> 01:16:01,809
and bros all in the same car.
2311
01:16:01,810 --> 01:16:02,705
I'm a little proud of you guys.
2312
01:16:02,705 --> 01:16:03,702
I am.
2313
01:16:03,702 --> 01:16:04,535
- Is it breaking your heart
2314
01:16:04,536 --> 01:16:05,856
that we're ride
sharing right now?
2315
01:16:07,302 --> 01:16:08,329
- Kind of makes you wonder why
2316
01:16:08,330 --> 01:16:09,939
Israel and Palestine
can't get along.
2317
01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:11,449
- You know, there's
actually more to that.
2318
01:16:11,450 --> 01:16:12,896
- I know.
2319
01:16:12,897 --> 01:16:14,119
- And just like that crystal
2320
01:16:14,120 --> 01:16:16,389
knocked the whole
coverup bullshit
2321
01:16:16,390 --> 01:16:17,519
you guys came up with.
2322
01:16:17,520 --> 01:16:18,899
I know a fucking scam
2323
01:16:18,900 --> 01:16:20,169
when you're trying to get that
2324
01:16:20,170 --> 01:16:21,699
window pane insurance money.
2325
01:16:21,700 --> 01:16:22,540
My dad sold them.
2326
01:16:22,541 --> 01:16:23,879
I know that he...
2327
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:25,039
- Hey Tyler,
2328
01:16:25,040 --> 01:16:26,409
Crystal knock knock.
2329
01:16:26,410 --> 01:16:27,243
- Who's there?
2330
01:16:27,244 --> 01:16:28,480
- An inside job.
2331
01:16:29,590 --> 01:16:31,984
- And six million less Jews.
2332
01:16:31,985 --> 01:16:35,559
- You guys have not
changed one bit.
2333
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:36,490
- Why did you come back.
2334
01:16:36,491 --> 01:16:37,969
You were with your
bubby you said.
2335
01:16:37,970 --> 01:16:39,649
And you were gonna
work for your uncle.
2336
01:16:39,650 --> 01:16:40,759
- Well,
2337
01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:42,080
it ended up not working out.
2338
01:16:42,081 --> 01:16:43,899
- Is it bubby or booby?
2339
01:16:43,900 --> 01:16:44,900
- I'm not as good with the money
2340
01:16:44,901 --> 01:16:46,581
as I thought I was.
2341
01:16:47,585 --> 01:16:48,582
- That's the first you
2342
01:16:48,583 --> 01:16:49,584
I will ever admit that joke.
2343
01:16:49,585 --> 01:16:50,582
- So you weren't quite
making six figures?
2344
01:16:50,583 --> 01:16:52,729
- We won't talk about it.
2345
01:16:52,730 --> 01:16:54,341
- They can't even
make six inches.
2346
01:16:55,622 --> 01:16:56,869
- What are you doing?
2347
01:16:56,870 --> 01:16:58,069
Just rubbing nickles together
2348
01:16:58,070 --> 01:16:59,664
to making our money or what?
2349
01:16:59,665 --> 01:17:02,209
- Oh, I've missed you guys.
2350
01:17:02,210 --> 01:17:03,249
I really have.
2351
01:17:03,250 --> 01:17:04,829
- I just can't believe
we found you on the app.
2352
01:17:04,830 --> 01:17:06,259
It was a Christmas miracle.
2353
01:17:06,260 --> 01:17:07,789
Oh sorry, a Hanukkah miracle.
2354
01:17:07,790 --> 01:17:09,264
- Yes.
2355
01:17:09,265 --> 01:17:10,098
- Does Hanukkah have miracles?
2356
01:17:10,098 --> 01:17:10,940
- You can say Christmas.
2357
01:17:10,940 --> 01:17:11,820
I'm not offended.
2358
01:17:11,821 --> 01:17:13,403
- I don't want to offend.
2359
01:17:13,404 --> 01:17:15,009
I just want to be
historically accurate.
2360
01:17:15,010 --> 01:17:16,549
- We're not offended
that you killed Christ.
2361
01:17:16,550 --> 01:17:19,403
- You know I really
love riding with you.
2362
01:17:19,404 --> 01:17:22,052
You give us road scotch.
2363
01:17:22,053 --> 01:17:22,970
- Road scotch.
2364
01:17:22,971 --> 01:17:24,069
- Jesus Christ,
2365
01:17:24,070 --> 01:17:25,119
Glen Levit.
2366
01:17:25,120 --> 01:17:26,619
- At least it's single malt.
2367
01:17:26,620 --> 01:17:27,453
- Yeah.
2368
01:17:27,454 --> 01:17:28,479
- What, were they out
of Cutty Sark or what?
2369
01:17:28,480 --> 01:17:29,313
- Hey, you never
know when someone's
2370
01:17:29,314 --> 01:17:30,759
gonna stiff you.
2371
01:17:30,760 --> 01:17:32,186
I can't reach for the top shelf.
2372
01:17:32,187 --> 01:17:33,759
- You're like fucking Pauly
2373
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:35,158
drinking.
2374
01:17:35,159 --> 01:17:35,992
- Even the middle shelf.
2375
01:17:35,993 --> 01:17:37,573
- Like that time
Piccolo's had Doers.
2376
01:17:39,070 --> 01:17:40,279
Jesus.
2377
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:41,113
- I thought they
didn't have Doers.
2378
01:17:41,114 --> 01:17:42,609
I thought they had
2379
01:17:42,610 --> 01:17:43,470
like Lauders.
2380
01:17:43,471 --> 01:17:44,889
- Harold had water that evening.
2381
01:17:44,890 --> 01:17:45,890
- Yeah.
2382
01:17:56,298 --> 01:17:57,295
- What's your middle name?
2383
01:17:57,296 --> 01:17:58,457
- What's your date of birth?
2384
01:17:58,458 --> 01:17:59,340
- Oh my goodness,
2385
01:17:59,341 --> 01:18:00,958
I do not have time
for this, okay.
2386
01:18:00,959 --> 01:18:02,609
I work two jobs,
2387
01:18:02,610 --> 01:18:03,490
got a kid.
2388
01:18:03,490 --> 01:18:04,480
I'm getting crow's feet.
2389
01:18:04,481 --> 01:18:05,897
Okay, I just want to
go to the concert.
2390
01:18:05,898 --> 01:18:09,054
- Hmm, well head on in.
2391
01:18:09,055 --> 01:18:10,638
- Sounds good to me.
2392
01:18:10,639 --> 01:18:12,414
- She looks pretty good for 46.
2393
01:18:12,415 --> 01:18:14,215
- 105.7 KOKZ,
2394
01:18:14,216 --> 01:18:15,200
Iowa's classic hits.
2395
01:18:15,201 --> 01:18:16,916
My name is Craig Lowey.
2396
01:18:16,917 --> 01:18:17,750
You know where you
need to be tonight.
2397
01:18:17,751 --> 01:18:19,279
You need to be at
Spicoli's in Waterloo
2398
01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:21,489
because a fantastic
band is coming to town.
2399
01:18:21,490 --> 01:18:23,609
Jimmy Newquist and
Caroline's Spine
2400
01:18:23,610 --> 01:18:25,167
are gonna be in town.
2401
01:18:25,168 --> 01:18:26,001
I know these guys
for a long time.
2402
01:18:26,002 --> 01:18:27,129
They have the hit song,
2403
01:18:27,130 --> 01:18:28,419
Sullivan, among others.
2404
01:18:28,420 --> 01:18:29,589
We definitely want
you to get out
2405
01:18:29,590 --> 01:18:30,440
and support
2406
01:18:30,441 --> 01:18:31,449
not only Spicoli's,
2407
01:18:31,450 --> 01:18:32,826
but Jimmy Newquist and
Caroline's Spine.
2408
01:18:32,827 --> 01:18:34,589
If you've never seen them live,
2409
01:18:34,590 --> 01:18:36,169
you are certainly missing out.
2410
01:18:36,170 --> 01:18:37,172
And we want you to experience.
2411
01:18:37,173 --> 01:18:39,019
Caroline's Spine tonight,
2412
01:18:39,020 --> 01:18:39,853
Spicoli's in Waterloo.
2413
01:18:39,854 --> 01:18:40,889
Check it out.
2414
01:18:40,890 --> 01:18:42,472
- Erin McCool.
2415
01:18:42,473 --> 01:18:44,399
My life changed.
2416
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:45,854
How are you?
2417
01:18:45,855 --> 01:18:47,310
- Cool dude.
2418
01:18:47,311 --> 01:18:50,397
- I prefer a handshake.
2419
01:18:54,840 --> 01:18:56,439
- Hey guys, this
is James Patrick
2420
01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:57,370
at Rock 108.
2421
01:18:57,371 --> 01:18:59,959
Make sure you get to
Spicoli's tonight
2422
01:18:59,960 --> 01:19:01,539
cause for one night only,
2423
01:19:01,540 --> 01:19:02,659
Jimmy Newquist,
2424
01:19:02,660 --> 01:19:03,729
Caroline's Spine
2425
01:19:03,730 --> 01:19:05,289
rocking the hell
out of Spicoli's.
2426
01:19:05,290 --> 01:19:07,399
So make sure you're
there tonight.
2427
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:08,233
- Harry, how's it going?
2428
01:19:08,234 --> 01:19:10,349
- It's be better if
you'd call me Harold.
2429
01:19:10,350 --> 01:19:11,183
- I keep forgetting.
2430
01:19:11,184 --> 01:19:12,873
- I prefer it.
2431
01:19:12,874 --> 01:19:14,185
- Well Harold, I got
something special for you.
2432
01:19:14,186 --> 01:19:15,150
Here's something that
you'll actually prefer
2433
01:19:15,151 --> 01:19:16,449
more than our water selection.
2434
01:19:16,450 --> 01:19:17,283
- Or your Doers?
2435
01:19:17,283 --> 01:19:18,283
- Or our Doers.
2436
01:19:19,330 --> 01:19:21,689
Alright, would Harold
approve of this?
2437
01:19:21,690 --> 01:19:24,889
- Harold would approve.
2438
01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:26,290
- I'll pour you one up.
2439
01:19:26,751 --> 01:19:28,009
- It's better than Doers.
2440
01:19:28,010 --> 01:19:29,652
- There you are, Harold.
2441
01:19:29,653 --> 01:19:30,692
- You could have done
without the ice, but.
2442
01:19:30,693 --> 01:19:32,599
- Hey, welcome back to the show
2443
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:34,209
on press roll with
the sports guy.
2444
01:19:34,210 --> 01:19:35,043
I'm Gary Rime
2445
01:19:35,044 --> 01:19:36,862
along with my in studio producer
2446
01:19:36,863 --> 01:19:38,909
and cohost to the program,
2447
01:19:38,910 --> 01:19:39,929
Chris Gobinacker.
2448
01:19:39,930 --> 01:19:41,959
We affectionately call him
2449
01:19:41,960 --> 01:19:43,729
the sports stud.
2450
01:19:43,730 --> 01:19:44,889
Hey sports stud,
2451
01:19:44,890 --> 01:19:46,419
I got a memo here.
2452
01:19:46,420 --> 01:19:47,529
Caroline's Spine
2453
01:19:47,530 --> 01:19:49,549
is playing in
Waterloo at Spicoli's
2454
01:19:49,550 --> 01:19:51,989
on University Avenue tonight.
2455
01:19:51,990 --> 01:19:53,979
Hey wasn't there
a Caroline Spine
2456
01:19:53,980 --> 01:19:56,425
that was a great
American figure skater?
2457
01:19:56,426 --> 01:19:58,079
- You're close, Sports Guy.
2458
01:19:58,080 --> 01:19:59,080
Caroline Zont,
2459
01:20:00,543 --> 01:20:02,084
and she is a great
American figure skater
2460
01:20:02,085 --> 01:20:04,339
that is a three time
champion figure skater.
2461
01:20:04,340 --> 01:20:05,320
- Awesome.
2462
01:20:05,321 --> 01:20:06,349
Hey Sports Stud,
2463
01:20:06,350 --> 01:20:07,529
you know there's a
2464
01:20:07,530 --> 01:20:10,121
two time champion right
here from Waterloo,
2465
01:20:10,122 --> 01:20:12,669
the Cedar Valley court kings,
2466
01:20:12,670 --> 01:20:14,419
our minor league
basketball team.
2467
01:20:14,420 --> 01:20:15,380
- You're right Sports Guy,
2468
01:20:15,381 --> 01:20:18,302
back to back Midwest league
basketball champions.
2469
01:20:18,303 --> 01:20:20,619
- Not to mention
out own champions
2470
01:20:20,620 --> 01:20:21,550
on the ice,
2471
01:20:21,551 --> 01:20:22,749
on their skates,
2472
01:20:22,750 --> 01:20:25,159
the Waterloo
Blackhawks Hockey Team
2473
01:20:25,160 --> 01:20:26,905
Anderson Cup Champions.
2474
01:20:26,906 --> 01:20:28,999
- It's impressive stuff.
2475
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:30,339
- Oh, baby.
2476
01:20:30,340 --> 01:20:32,505
I love these teams.
2477
01:20:32,506 --> 01:20:34,542
- What's going on boys?
2478
01:20:34,543 --> 01:20:35,543
- What's up?
2479
01:20:42,350 --> 01:20:44,489
- Drink it you pig.
2480
01:20:44,490 --> 01:20:45,663
- Yeah.
2481
01:20:47,722 --> 01:20:49,358
- It's a good night.
2482
01:20:49,359 --> 01:20:50,702
Wow man, nice penises boys.
2483
01:20:50,703 --> 01:20:52,319
You especially.
2484
01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:53,458
Shit man.
2485
01:20:53,459 --> 01:20:55,209
- Dude,
2486
01:20:55,210 --> 01:20:56,409
no homo man.
2487
01:20:56,410 --> 01:20:57,243
- What do you mean?
2488
01:20:57,244 --> 01:20:59,241
No, there's nothing
gay about that.
2489
01:20:59,242 --> 01:21:01,079
It's just me applauding
another man's gift.
2490
01:21:01,080 --> 01:21:03,833
God clearly has blessed
this young man.
2491
01:21:08,490 --> 01:21:10,058
- You're buying drinks, right?
2492
01:21:12,506 --> 01:21:13,626
- I'll put them on your tab.
2493
01:21:14,367 --> 01:21:15,365
Easy boys.
2494
01:21:15,366 --> 01:21:16,579
- See you.
2495
01:21:16,580 --> 01:21:18,960
- This is a song that
introduced me to you guys.
2496
01:21:47,685 --> 01:21:50,308
♪ It's not hard to reach
back into a day ♪
2497
01:21:50,309 --> 01:21:52,964
♪ Underneath that Iowa sun ♪
2498
01:21:52,965 --> 01:21:55,705
♪ Running to the
tower of Waterloo ♪
2499
01:21:55,706 --> 01:21:58,923
♪ Looking for the
Sullivan's train to come ♪
2500
01:21:58,924 --> 01:22:01,364
♪ And his five boys
would run to the top ♪
2501
01:22:01,365 --> 01:22:03,828
♪ And salute him as he went by ♪
2502
01:22:03,829 --> 01:22:06,206
♪ First we'd wave hello ♪
2503
01:22:06,207 --> 01:22:09,566
♪ Then we'd wave goodbye ♪
2504
01:22:09,567 --> 01:22:11,465
♪ Goodbye ♪
2505
01:22:20,885 --> 01:22:23,348
♪ It's not hard to reach
back to the days ♪
2506
01:22:23,349 --> 01:22:26,366
♪ After the attack on Pearl ♪
2507
01:22:26,367 --> 01:22:28,766
♪ Overnight my buddies
turned into men ♪
2508
01:22:28,767 --> 01:22:31,542
♪ Running out of time
for games and girls ♪
2509
01:22:31,543 --> 01:22:33,806
♪ And the Sullivan boys
were not overlooked ♪
2510
01:22:33,807 --> 01:22:37,508
♪ Uncle Sam calling
each by name ♪
2511
01:22:37,509 --> 01:22:42,509
♪ The very next day they
left on a mystery train ♪
2512
01:22:42,805 --> 01:22:47,805
♪ Say goodbye, bye, bye, Mrs.
Sullivan ♪
2513
01:22:47,984 --> 01:22:52,984
♪ And don't you cry,
cry, cry, cry, cry ♪
2514
01:22:54,245 --> 01:22:56,185
♪ We regret to inform you ♪
2515
01:22:56,186 --> 01:22:58,964
♪ The Navy has taking
your sons away ♪
2516
01:22:58,965 --> 01:23:03,965
♪ All five, five, five, five ♪
2517
01:23:03,967 --> 01:23:08,964
♪ So put your blue
stars in the window ♪
2518
01:23:08,965 --> 01:23:11,064
♪ Your window ♪
2519
01:23:16,405 --> 01:23:19,065
♪ It's not hard to reach
back to her smile ♪
2520
01:23:19,066 --> 01:23:21,764
♪ When she'd receive a letter ♪
2521
01:23:21,765 --> 01:23:24,628
♪ And the letters they
sounded generally the same ♪
2522
01:23:24,629 --> 01:23:26,126
♪ Said if they
couldn't be home ♪
2523
01:23:26,127 --> 01:23:27,667
♪ At least they were together ♪
2524
01:23:27,668 --> 01:23:30,084
♪ On a mighty
fighting battleship ♪
2525
01:23:30,085 --> 01:23:32,905
♪ Somewhere in the
South Pacific ♪
2526
01:23:32,906 --> 01:23:37,906
♪ The letters never got
much more specific ♪
2527
01:23:38,367 --> 01:23:43,367
♪ Say goodbye, bye, bye, Mrs.
Sullivan ♪
2528
01:23:43,567 --> 01:23:48,567
♪ And don't you cry,
cry, cry, cry, cry ♪
2529
01:23:49,464 --> 01:23:51,924
♪ We regret to inform you ♪
2530
01:23:51,925 --> 01:23:54,825
♪ The Navy is keeping
your sons away ♪
2531
01:23:54,826 --> 01:23:59,524
♪ All five, five, five, five ♪
2532
01:23:59,525 --> 01:24:04,192
♪ So keep your blue
stars in the window ♪
2533
01:24:13,386 --> 01:24:14,219
John, can you bring the
lights down a little bit?
2534
01:24:14,220 --> 01:24:16,200
Jut bring them on down a bit?
2535
01:24:59,103 --> 01:25:01,721
♪ It's not hard to reach
back to the day ♪
2536
01:25:01,722 --> 01:25:04,884
♪ When the war
finally came home ♪
2537
01:25:04,885 --> 01:25:07,465
♪ Uncle Sam, he'll
send you a telegram ♪
2538
01:25:07,466 --> 01:25:11,854
♪ So he doesn't have to
tell you over the phone ♪
2539
01:25:11,855 --> 01:25:13,662
♪ I heard she cracked up ♪
2540
01:25:13,663 --> 01:25:16,804
♪ When they found out
what the war could cost ♪
2541
01:25:16,805 --> 01:25:19,524
♪ When all five of her boys ♪
2542
01:25:19,525 --> 01:25:22,345
♪ Were lost ♪
2543
01:25:22,346 --> 01:25:25,081
♪ They were ♪
2544
01:25:25,082 --> 01:25:27,601
♪ They were ♪
2545
01:25:27,602 --> 01:25:30,382
♪ They were ♪
2546
01:25:30,383 --> 01:25:35,383
♪ Say goodbye, bye, bye, Mrs.
Sullivan ♪
2547
01:25:36,106 --> 01:25:38,041
♪ Go ahead and cry ♪
2548
01:25:38,042 --> 01:25:42,745
♪ Go ahead and cry ♪
2549
01:25:42,746 --> 01:25:44,501
♪ We regret to inform you ♪
2550
01:25:44,502 --> 01:25:47,419
♪ That all your sons
have passed away ♪
2551
01:25:47,420 --> 01:25:51,865
♪ All five, five, five, five ♪
2552
01:25:51,866 --> 01:25:55,477
♪ So change your
blue star to gold ♪
2553
01:25:55,478 --> 01:25:58,382
♪ Blue star to gold ♪
2554
01:25:58,383 --> 01:26:02,642
♪ Blue star to gold ♪
2555
01:26:02,643 --> 01:26:03,642
♪ Come on mommy ♪
2556
01:26:03,643 --> 01:26:05,342
♪ Change them to gold ♪
2557
01:26:57,653 --> 01:26:58,859
- This is how it usually goes
2558
01:26:58,860 --> 01:27:00,429
in about every town.
2559
01:27:00,430 --> 01:27:01,619
People grow up.
2560
01:27:01,620 --> 01:27:02,919
They get married.
2561
01:27:02,920 --> 01:27:03,753
They have kids.
2562
01:27:03,754 --> 01:27:05,279
They move on.
2563
01:27:05,280 --> 01:27:07,509
The good times are
cherished and remembered.
2564
01:27:07,510 --> 01:27:10,132
When you see the wold guy
at the bar by himself,
2565
01:27:10,133 --> 01:27:11,433
drinking,
2566
01:27:11,434 --> 01:27:14,132
he was a bro one day too.
2567
01:27:14,133 --> 01:27:17,299
There are five Sullivan Bros
2568
01:27:17,300 --> 01:27:18,559
from this town
2569
01:27:18,560 --> 01:27:20,739
that would have loved
to have been back here.
2570
01:27:20,740 --> 01:27:23,513
I try to remind myself of
that as much as possible.
2571
01:27:25,480 --> 01:27:27,231
- Hey, it's Corey
Ford with KFUK radio.
2572
01:27:27,232 --> 01:27:29,319
Okay, fuck Cedar Falls.
2573
01:27:29,320 --> 01:27:31,009
It's gonna be a
great day in Iowa.
2574
01:27:31,010 --> 01:27:32,999
It's gonna be a great day
in the Cedar Valley.
2575
01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:33,910
Our future
2576
01:27:33,911 --> 01:27:35,059
is bright.
2577
01:27:35,060 --> 01:27:37,049
And for the very last time,
2578
01:27:37,050 --> 01:27:40,923
this one goes out to the bros.
2579
01:27:54,032 --> 01:27:55,849
♪ They hate you for the reason ♪
2580
01:27:55,850 --> 01:27:58,329
♪ Found out all your faults ♪
2581
01:27:58,330 --> 01:27:59,848
♪ They hid behind ♪
2582
01:27:59,849 --> 01:28:04,031
♪ Picture perfect lies ♪
2583
01:28:04,032 --> 01:28:06,270
♪ They found you in the corner ♪
2584
01:28:06,271 --> 01:28:08,889
♪ Dusting for fingerprints ♪
2585
01:28:08,890 --> 01:28:10,313
♪ From pages painted pretty ♪
2586
01:28:10,314 --> 01:28:14,631
♪ Pictures of your sins ♪
2587
01:28:14,632 --> 01:28:17,209
♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪
2588
01:28:17,210 --> 01:28:19,972
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2589
01:28:19,973 --> 01:28:21,209
♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪
2590
01:28:21,210 --> 01:28:23,673
♪ Hit them with ♪
2591
01:28:23,674 --> 01:28:24,831
♪ What they give ♪
2592
01:28:24,832 --> 01:28:27,993
♪ Alright now ♪
2593
01:28:46,170 --> 01:28:48,271
♪ Put it on-on-on the table ♪
2594
01:28:48,272 --> 01:28:50,873
♪ Watch for shifting eyes ♪
2595
01:28:50,874 --> 01:28:52,232
♪ Serving cold revenge ♪
2596
01:28:52,233 --> 01:28:56,289
♪ With a side of spite ♪
2597
01:28:56,290 --> 01:28:58,871
♪ But satisfaction
don't come easy ♪
2598
01:28:58,872 --> 01:29:01,471
♪ But to take it all with ease ♪
2599
01:29:01,472 --> 01:29:03,008
♪ Well I guess them guests ♪
2600
01:29:03,009 --> 01:29:06,852
♪ All just better leave ♪
2601
01:29:06,853 --> 01:29:09,364
♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪
2602
01:29:09,365 --> 01:29:12,212
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2603
01:29:12,213 --> 01:29:14,471
♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪
2604
01:29:14,472 --> 01:29:16,031
♪ Hit them with ♪
2605
01:29:16,032 --> 01:29:17,227
♪ What they give ♪
2606
01:29:17,228 --> 01:29:19,871
♪ Alright now ♪
2607
01:29:39,013 --> 01:29:40,889
♪ Ignorance ♪
2608
01:29:40,890 --> 01:29:43,631
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2609
01:29:43,632 --> 01:29:45,833
♪ Ignorance ♪
2610
01:29:45,834 --> 01:29:47,592
♪ Hit them with ♪
2611
01:29:47,593 --> 01:29:48,692
♪ What they give ♪
2612
01:29:48,693 --> 01:29:51,033
♪ Ignorance ♪
2613
01:29:51,034 --> 01:29:53,889
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2614
01:29:53,890 --> 01:29:56,231
♪ Ignorance ♪
2615
01:29:56,232 --> 01:29:57,812
♪ Hit them with ♪
2616
01:29:57,813 --> 01:29:59,071
♪ What they give ♪
2617
01:29:59,072 --> 01:30:01,769
♪ Give them ignorance ♪
2618
01:30:01,770 --> 01:30:03,433
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2619
01:30:03,434 --> 01:30:07,113
♪ Ignorance ♪
2620
01:30:07,114 --> 01:30:08,289
♪ Hit them with ♪
2621
01:30:08,290 --> 01:30:09,525
♪ What they give ♪
2622
01:30:09,526 --> 01:30:12,633
♪ Give them ignorance ♪
2623
01:30:12,634 --> 01:30:14,873
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2624
01:30:14,874 --> 01:30:17,572
♪ Ignorance ♪
2625
01:30:17,573 --> 01:30:21,572
♪ Hit them with ♪
2626
01:30:21,573 --> 01:30:24,323
♪ What they give ♪
171443
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