Original subtitles

Average member of U.S. Intelligence Maintenance Department, wounded in the

line of duty.

Tom and his faithful assistant, Swingin' Jack, ran a ball of a shrinking laser

beam ray gun.

They gave their height for their country, thus creating the tiny human

underground military bureau. When the plan calls for small thinking, it's a

job for Tom of...

My disguise kit, it finally came. Watch out for me now, M.A.D.

Oh, M.A.D., your adversary is more deadly than ever. No longer will you be

a maladjusted, antisocial, and darn mean organization of scientists bent on

destroying the world for your own gain.

One more weapon in the growing arsenal of Tom of T.H.U.M.B.

Here comes Swingin' Jack.

Mad will he be fooled.

Hi, boss.

Rats.

Are you the famous Chief Homer J. Chief?

I'm just a poor old lady.

Cut the comedy, Tom.

I'm busy.

M.A.D. intends to blow up the world at noon.

It's going to be one of those days.

Another job for Tom of THUMB. On the ball and ready for... Forget it. We need

big guys to handle this one, so go on home.

If they do blow up the world, take the rest of the week off.

I'll show Chief Chief.

He doesn't realize what a potent weapon I am now that I'm a master of disguise.

Guess I'll just have to handle this one on my own.

Blow up the world, eh?

First, I've got to get the details.

Okay, generals, let's get down to brass tacks.

M.A.D. has been operating under the guise of drilling for oil.

Using a special supersonic drill, they've managed to bore down a thousand

miles into the core of the Earth.

At the bottom of this hole, they've planted one billion megatons, enough to

blow this planet to smithereens.

What a rotten thing for them to do.

Tom!

Drat. You're not on this case. Out!

Who's Tom? I'm just the janitor. Come to sweep up?

Out!

Generals, out of all the oil wells in this country, we've got to find this one

and neutralize the megatons.

Well, at least I know the background.

I'll show those generals.

I'll find the oil well.

They haven't reckoned on the man of a thousand faces.

Fasten your belts.

Coffee, tea, or milk.

Time for the movie.

Oh, boss, cut it out, huh?

Ah, you just know me too well.

Hmm. We're in oil well country.

Take her down by that rig over there.

The name's Shorty Wildcat, friend. Two-fisted driller for oil.

Any strange rigs around these parts?

Lots of guys with beards working them?

Yeah, about ten miles down the road. Ask me, they're M.A.D. agents.

Banks!

Oh! Could I have your autograph, Tom, of T-H-U-M-B?

Must be slipping up somewhere.

Are you beginning to dig my plan, Swingin' Jack?

Oh, boss, you're very good at disguise.

But you've got to realize you can't hide the fact that you're only three

inches... Stop talking negative, Swingin' Jack.

Now, there's the M.A.D. rig over there.

Watch me while I infiltrate and foil them.

Five minutes, we blow up the world, Spencer.

Right, Clark.

And there's nothing they can do to stop us. They'll never find this oil well.

Gears off, guys.

Orders from high command.

Pack up and go home.

It's Tom of T-H-U-M-B.

This laser ray gun will cream you.

Tom, put down that gun.

Chief, Chief.

I told you not to interfere.

Now give me that gun.

Got you, Tom of T-H-U-M-B.

Beaten at my own game.

No time to waste.

Set up a flare. Let the big guys know where to drop that megaton neutralizer.

Well, Tom, I've got to apologize.

Without your warning, the world would have been blown up.

Congratulations.

What?

This is only a doll.