Original subtitles

Welcome back, Your Grace.

I take it you had a good flight?

- I'm knackered. - Mm.

- Has she started? - Uh, she has.

My new associate Deandra will have your bags

brought to your suite while you're in the café.

Ah. Of course. We'll take care of it.

Yes, taking a chance on love, which is what you did

when you made your reservation six months ago.

But it already seems worth it, doesn't it?

Seeing me up close, in the flesh,

an award-winning cabaret artiste.

- One award. - Excuse me, Jolly?

You've won one award.

Most people hear "award-winning,"

they think "several."

Thanks for the clarification. Bitch.

It's true.

I've won only one statue,

and I happen to have it with me. Do you want to see it?

Yes.

No, it's not the Emmy

for my guest spot on Father Crime,

which airs tonight.

This is my 1987

Mabel Short Cabaret Performer of the Year Award.

Thank you. Thank you.

So, you are seeing a legitimate

cabaret performer, maybe

the last one in existence.

You know, the minute they drag me out of here,

some reality star will start squawking Sondheim.

So, let's make the most of this night, shall we?

Isn't she fantastic?

Damn it!

What is it? What is it?

No!

Don't tell me.

I love it when she gets like this.

Oh. And the tempo on "Sunny Side of the Street"

was too bright.

What part of "sunny side" don't you understand?

Don't get fresh.

And don't correct me in the middle of a show.

You asked.

Especially when I ask.

It's no wonder I went up with all the latecomers

and schmoozers in here.

Nobody knows the pressure I'm under.

And I'm on the tube tonight.

We heard. You told everybody.

I'm gonna watch upstairs.

I'll be back down for the second show.

Have them send my dinner up through room service.

They charge for that, you know.

What are you implying?

Oh, right there's fine.

I'm on Father Crime tonight. Do you watch that show?

- Not since they killed off Felicity. - Oh.

Wow.

You guys have raised prices again.

Put it on my tab.

Oh, wait. Here.

Oh. I don't have any cash.

I'll get you next time.

Want some company, guv'nor?

I know why you're here, and it's not going to work.

I can be very persuasive, you know.

I have to protect my Manhattan investments.

The royal family

is under tremendous scrutiny.

We can't get away with anything.

Exactly.

The deal smells,

and if you agree to it,

you'll be in big trouble when everything goes south.

I've made up my mind.

This place is due for a change.

Why does anything have to change?

Just give it a little more time.

- I'll see you out. - No, no,

- no, no, no, no, no, no. - Come on.

Stop, now. Stop!

Good God, woman.

Are you mad?

Something like that.

Yes,

it's true. I've won only one statue,

and I happen to have it with me.

- Do you want to see it? - Yes!

Let's see it!

Whip it out!

You know what? I don't do this for the awards.

I do it for the money.

So I'll just keep singing.

Oh.

Hello. I'm looking for the, um... Oh.

Wow, this place is so elegant.

Uh, sorry, I'm here for the, um...

- Possible crime scene? - Oh. Yes.

- That's all right. I got this. - Captain Wagner.

I was expecting to see a detective.

Uh, since I got passed over for commissioner,

I figured I'd get out of the office a bit.

Oh, it's a beautiful place for an investigation.

- Thanks. - The Reilly is a New York institution.

This place still looks the same as the night

I proposed to Claudia, right there in the café.

No wonder you're in such a good mood.

Hey, you should be, too, given the news.

What news?

"Mayor Bloom, seen last night

having dinner with a mysterious brunette."

That's not a phony story planted by Nadine.

The "mysterious redhead" is officially yesterday's news.

You must be relieved.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Yay.

Housekeeping found him this morning.

It looks like he slipped getting out of the shower.

Apparently, he grabbed the towel bar, but it came off the wall,

leaving him to smash his head on the tile.

Oh, please, sir, don't touch anything.

Oh, right. Sorry. Force of habit.

Uh, what were you about to do?

Oh, we like the seams on our lampshades to face the wall.

Excuse me, sir.

Uh, e-excuse me.

Oh.

Whoa.

Everything is just so,

with the hotel monogram on everything.

Such a lovely old-world touch.

It's like stepping back in time.

Yeah, wow. It's like he lived here.

Oh, he did.

Part of the time he kept this place as a pied-à-terre.

Oh, that's right. I forget that some people

- actually live in hotels. - Mm-hmm.

Huh. These pajamas are folded,

and these are on a hanger.

- Well, maybe he was planning on wearing those. - Ooh.

Is that blood?

Maybe from a scuffle that knocked over the lamp?

Or it could be from shaving.

Oh. This shoehorn is kind of bent out of shape.

Nobody has that much trouble putting on their loafers.

- Yeah, not usually. - Hmm.

It's just in here.

What was that about?

Oh, Roger came to draw the Duke's bath.

They had an arrangement for him to do so whenever he was here.

He took morning baths?

Then why was he taking a nighttime shower?

We'll need to get as much information as we can

from your staff.

You said that the towel bar

just came off the wall?

Has anything like that ever happened

- at the Hotel Reilly before? - Well, not recently.

We've had some incidents of wear and tear,

but that's why we've begun renovations,

including this very suite.

This bathroom was remodeled six months ago.

So it's very possible that somebody

broke it off on purpose

and made it look like an accident.

But how?

I've never seen anything like this,

and I've worked at the Reilly for 29 years.

Oh, you must have so many stories.

Oh, we all do.

Uh, but we're discreet,

which is exactly what I told Julia Roberts and Ted Kennedy.

- We appreciate it. - Well, let me know whatever you need,

and, um, uh, if you can't reach me,

you can speak to my associate Deandra.

Hello.

De... Uh, what did you say your name was again?

Um, because you remind me of a woman I once met

named Denise Jackson.

Well, I'm Deandra Jordan.

Any questions you have, come to me.

In the meantime,

if you'd like some complimentary coffee, tea,

or juice, please help yourself.

Thank you.

Who's that?

It's Ruby Lane.

She performs in the café, lives upstairs.

Wait, the Ruby Lane? She's still around?

You're out of stevia.

That should not happen at a decent hotel.

I apologize. It's been a difficult morning.

Yes, uh, one of the residents, Duke Sebastian,

slipped in the shower and died.

My God. How tragic.

No surprise.

I'll go let the kitchen know about the stevia shortage.

This whole place is falling apart.

Something like this was bound to happen again.

I just said he slipped in the shower,

not that there was any physical damage.

Mm. I assumed.

It's all breaking down.

My room... you have to jiggle the handle.

You two should come and see my show.

If you can afford the cover charge and the two-drink minimum

on a cop's salary.

I'm a captain.

Yeah, but I'll save up.

Oh, hey. I have that very tote.

Well, somewhere in my collection.

Bye.

Oh, you asked for more information from housekeeping.

It seems some of the more expensive items were missing

from the Duke's minibar,

including the yogurt-covered raisins.

Ooh, I love those.

But there was no sign of them in the trash.

Well, who would murder someone and walk off

with the goodies from the minibar?

Hmm.

Oh, my God, it's like you're in every story.

Teddy. What are you doing here?

Well, um, I have some news.

Maybe. I think so.

But if you're reading about Alec's new girlfriend,

- it can wait. - Oh, uh...

Whoever she is, she has my sympathy.

- You sure? - Positive.

So, um, what is your news, maybe, you think so?

Well, um, Roy and I may be getting married.

What?

- Teddy. - Yeah.

- Oh, I'm so happy. - Ah!

- Well, I said maybe. Um... - Okay.

But we did have a conversation

that felt like it,

though we changed subjects

- because I started hyperventilating. - Oh.

Well, I am thrilled,

to the extent that it's more than maybe.

Yeah, but the thing is, I'm pretty sure Roy wants me

to propose because I'm basically allergic

- to overt romantic gestures. - That is true,

but have no fear, I have so many ideas.

- Uh... - Okay. Did you know

that you can order skywriting over Times Square?

Yeah, no. Um, I was thinking something lower-key. Like, um,

during the finale of a show that we're watching on Thursday,

sharing a frozen Hawaiian pizza with a thrift store ring

hidden under a piece of Canadian bacon.

Sometimes I forget that, in some ways,

you do take after your father,

who proposed to me in a footnote in a legal brief.

Okay, um...

Well, what-what if I cooked for him, just the way you taught me?

Yeah... what else you got?

You know what? It's gonna be fine, even without your help.

So I will, uh, let you know how it goes.

- Oh. - Oh, God.

We're really gonna do this, maybe.

And this is our business center.

We can talk in here.

- Why in the business center? - Oh, nobody ever uses it.

- Oh. - So, start from the beginning.

Right. This hotel has been engaged in shady bookkeeping

and tax fraud since it was built during Prohibition.

Wow, that is the beginning.

And with Alec Bloom as the new mayor

promising greater scrutiny,

the current owner Havenford Realty Group...

they want out.

But any sale depends on approval

from the long-term residents.

The Duke came back to New York to cast his vote,

but after what happened, the vote has been postponed.

Any idea who the buyer is?

Havenford isn't saying.

It's part of my mission to find out, but my guess is,

it's one of the mysterious guests staying here this week.

I've spotted a mob boss, a Saudi sheik,

and a Russian oligarch, but I can't be sure.

And you think the Duke could have been murdered

- because of his vote? - I don't know,

but the timing is suspicious.

Ruby Lane would have a vote. She lives here.

Could she be involved in those financial schemes?

You mean the lady who steals two gallons

of lobby coffee every morning

and who can't remember her lyrics?

- I doubt it. - All right.

I think I'll have some lunch in the hotel lobby bar

and interview the guests.

Are you sure you're not just trying

to soak up the atmosphere?

I can do both.

Uh, hey, do you happen to know what floor

Ruby Lane lives on?

- You have a good eye. - Oh.

I don't know about that.

I just like beautiful things.

And dogs.

The exquisite Reilly murals

once belonged to the Blick family of the Blick Museum.

I happen to be very close to several Blicks.

Montgomery Blakemont III,

art connoisseur and philanthropist. Call me Monty.

Hi, Monty. Elsbeth Tascioni.

Consent decree lawyer with the NYPD.

I'm talking art appreciation with the fuzz.

How fantastic is that?

Pretty fantastic.

This hotel is filled with great art,

but not all of it in public spaces.

There are treasures to be found

- in certain suites. - Wow.

- You seem to know so much. - I do.

- I keep a place here. - Oh.

Were you here when the Duke died?

Oh, yes. I was in the café.

- Oh. - Uh, in the first show,

Ruby forgot her lyrics, it was epic.

And then, at the late show, she was on fire.

You went to the café twice in one night?

- Mm. - That's a four-drink minimum.

Isn't that expensive?

Excuse me. Ah. It's the Metropolitan Museum.

I'm gifting them $20 million, and we're arguing

over the size of my name on the plaque.

- Can you imagine? - No.

This is Monty. Are you ready to talk some sense?

Okay, great.

Thank you.

Oh, hello again.

- Aren't you getting in? - Oh, no.

Uh, actually, I-I changed my mind.

Oh. Well, suit yourself. Excuse me, I have to rehearse.

You still need to rehearse after all these years?

Well, I don't need to, but I dropped something

the other night, and Jolly, my accompanist,

got his knickers in a twist.

Oh. Um, is there any chance

- that I could sit in and watch? - No.

Oh, please? I-I-It would be so fascinating

to watch a legend at work.

Do you go to nightclubs a lot?

Uh, no, that's just the thing.

I know so little about cabaret as an art form.

Um, is it anything like Glee?

Are you for real?

You mean am I... serious? Absolutely.

Although... I am really here with the police,

helping them with their murder investigation.

Yes, taking a chance on love, which is what you did

when you made your reservation six months ago.

Blah, blah, blah. We do that whole bit.

Oh, so we're not just winging it?

I forgot. I said I was sorry.

Hey, Little Orphan Annie, what do you think so far?

You're incredible.

You make every word so... specific.

It's like, uh, it's like you're singing just to me.

Well, I mean, uh, you are right now,

but it's like... you're speaking to my soul.

She gets it.

Cabaret is the most intimate form of communication.

Up here, there's nowhere to hide.

The lights, the proximity expose everything.

Believe me, what I do...

is not about a beautiful voice.

Oh, we believe you.

Ignore him. The way I do when he falls down in a gutter.

You two are so funny.

How long have you two been working together?

Let's see, next month it will have been an eternity.

But it's worth it to show up every night

and dream of getting paid.

Including two shows last night.

- As usual. - What do you do between shows?

- I have dinner in here. - Except the night before last.

You mean the night the Duke died?

Oh, right. That night I wanted to watch myself on the tube.

I recently shot a guest spot on Father Crime.

Oh, I know that show.

Wow, you must be a great actress.

Father Crime gets the best guest stars,

probably because it shoots in New York.

I was great, and I had room service.

Speaking of food, you probably need lunch, don't you?

Cherie, bring this lovely lady a Waldorf salad,

and bring one for me while you're at it.

- Thank you, Cherie, but... - It's the best thing they do. You'll love it.

And you'll need your strength, investigating that...

- Did you say it was a murder investigation? - Mm-hmm.

Duke Sebastian Mason, Lord of Sussexford.

Did-did you know him?

No, but I heard he was at my show the night he died.

- Not a bad way to go. - I'll say.

Especially if you made the reservation

six months earlier.

You have a cute personality. Do you sing?

Me? Oh, gosh, no, no.

But, um, my son Teddy... he has a beautiful voice.

He could be on Broadway, but he's too shy.

He recently told me he may be getting married.

- Really? Congratulations. - Thanks.

To be honest, I'm a little nervous about it.

Yeah, I'm afraid he-he might pull away.

I'm wondering, you know, how I'll handle that.

Oh, I love that song.

I think that's my favorite song by Irving Berlin.

I thought you knew nothing about cabaret.

Oh, I don't.

But I know the Great American Songbook.

I'm not a monster.

I don't like your act, sister. It's phony.

Cherie, send my lunch upstairs,

and charge it to her.

You've got a lot of nerve, Elsbeth.

With all the things in the world to get worked up about...

Is it the drinking?

I noticed she has a glass in her hand in all the photos.

That's just a prop to give her a false air of sophistication.

Hers is always filled with water, unlike mine.

So, when she forgets her lyrics...

- Ms. Tascioni, come quick. - Oh.

What is it?

Housekeeping heard someone inside the Duke's suite.

So you think the killer returned to the scene of the crime?

Whoever's in there, open up.

This is the police.

Oh, hey, you.

Mr. Blakemont, we have learned from someone at the hotel

that your name doesn't appear on any suite here at the hotel.

Was it that new woman Deandra? She seems on the ball.

Why are you hanging around the hotel?

All right, if you must know, I'm staying in a suite

that's owned by a former boss

but only while my townhouse is being renovated.

And does your former boss know?

Of course he does, technically. But don't worry,

all of my employers trust me implicitly.

That's why they give me power of attorney.

But what were you doing here in the Duke's suite?

I was looking at the artwork.

In a dead man's room?

As I told Elsbeth, not all of the art at the Reilly

is publicly displayed. This room

has an Edward Hopper

plus a tiny Titian.

It's true. He did tell me that.

Well, you're still a suspect.

And since you're such an expert on the Hotel Reilly,

what do you know about that vote to approve a sale?

I know everything about it. My former boss made me his proxy.

Of course he did.

Which way do you think it would have gone?

Oh, it was split right down the middle.

The in-favor side insisted the Duke come for the vote

to put them over the top.

It was very exciting.

- Why? Why did it matter so much? - Well,

rumor is, the mystery buyer planned a major,

very tasteful renovation, but to pay for it,

they were gonna have to clean up the books,

so that meant that the long-term residents

would have to settle up their maintenance,

rents, bar tabs. Some of these people

have been getting away with murder

while guzzling the free coffee.

- Mm. - And what about you?

Eh... how were you gonna vote?

I was in favor, all the way.

I encouraged the others.

Here, let me see my phone, I'll show you.

I have a thing about freeloaders.

By the way, the hotel Wi-Fi is pretty weak,

but I have the code to the Sephora next door.

Roy. To what do I owe the pleasure?

I have some news. Well, maybe.

Teddy and I may be getting married.

Oh, that is so great. I am so happy.

I mean, maybe. We had a conversation about it,

but then Teddy started hyperventilating.

Oh, yeah, he does that.

But before anything happens,

I wanted to come and ask your permission.

Oh, Roy. Of course.

- Yes. - Okay.

I didn't know you were so traditional.

That's why I want a super romantic proposal scene,

and we both know Teddy will never.

- Mm. - What can I say?

I'm old-fashioned, brought up in the suburbs,

repressed but very performative.

Teddy better get used to it.

Uh, wait.

Does that mean that you and Teddy

might move to the suburbs eventually?

Probably. I mean, I love New York, but I want kids.

Oh.

Okay, I still think she's too much of a train wreck

to kill anybody,

but I did some digging into Ruby's account.

It's true, she is in arrears,

but my friend in bookkeeping hasn't told me how much yet.

Oh, there you are. Deandra.

- I need you. - Coming.

- Excuse me. - Uh-huh.

Now can we do a more formal interview with her?

I suppose. And it might be interesting to see her suite.

Ah. I bet it's pretty glamorous.

Oh, sorry, it's such a mess.

If I'd known you were coming, I would have been out.

- How long have you lived here? - Who knows?

I paid $28,000 for it, if it gives you an idea.

Wow.

And how do you feel about the possible sale?

I was mad they postponed. I was voting yes.

- You were? - Hell yes.

I'm ready to sell. I'm tired of New York.

I want to go someplace where I'm not so damn famous.

Maybe if you didn't walk around in a mink coat and sunglasses,

people wouldn't recognize you.

Just a thought.

I get cold. Here. Snacks.

Ooh, yogurt-covered raisins.

- Funny, these were missing from the Duke's minibar. - Yeah?

Well, I take them from the housekeepers' carts

in the hallway.

This place owes me that much. I'm a legend.

Yes, you are.

But that's why I don't understand

why you want to leave here now, at this point.

Why? Because I'm gonna die soon?

No, because you're such a fixture here.

This city is too run-down.

It's like...

everything was better when I was younger, you know?

Or maybe you just get to an age where you hate everything.

Where are you going to go?

Someplace more elegant... Vegas, Florida, Phoenix.

And, uh, what about the money you owe?

What money?

We happen to know that you're in arrears

- on your maintenance. - Oh.

Well, selling this place will take care of all that

and then some. Now, if you don't have any more

- questions... - No, no, no. One more thing.

Where were you on the night of Duke Sebastian's murder?

I already told your friend.

I came up here between shows

to watch myself in a guest role

- on Father Crime. - Woo-hoo.

I haven't seen this week's episode yet. What did you play?

I played a nun in a story about a Mother Superior,

a murderous Mother Superior.

I sang a song to a bunch of orphans.

- How did it go? - Not bad.

It really looked like I was playing the guitar.

So many shows tell stories about nuns.

Hair and makeup is a breeze.

Ooh, I love index cards. What are these for?

Those are my contacts. I used to keep, um, an address book

but kept losing it, and I use code

so the housekeepers don't call all my celebrity friends.

Oh, that's smart. I love a code.

Um, "Figaro" for my hairdresser.

"Brontë" for my sister. "Kid" for Michael Feinstein.

Oh. Who's "Vernon"?

My nephew. One of my nephews. Grandnephew.

And he is grand.

That looked like an international number.

He works overseas. I miss him.

I-I don't mean to be rude, but I do have two shows tonight

and I have to go on vocal rest.

Thanks for your time.

Oh. Mm.

Bye.

She threw you out?

- Pretty much. - Well, that's Ruby.

Now, this mural is my favorite work of art at the Hotel Reilly.

The artist Pierre Montclair worked on it for years.

His daughter Ellie still lives here.

- You'll know it's her. She wears Coke-bottle glasses. - Aw.

Apparently, it's filled with inside jokes.

- See the two trombone players? - Mm-hmm.

The Fortunato Brothers were twins

who played here for years.

And that couple dancing?

That's Harold, a former bartender,

and Sylvie from laundry.

They were married to other people.

Oh, goodness.

Ellie has permission to add to the mural

when something important happens here.

- That's nice. - Mm.

- Is Ruby Lane anywhere? - Oh, sure. Yeah.

She's right here.

She told Pierre she'd have to be carried out of here

- feet first. - Huh.

That's not what she told us.

There you are. Psst.

My friend in bookkeeping came through.

Take a look at what Ruby owes.

Oh, my Lord.

- That's in dollars? - A lot of them.

Huh. And plenty of reason for Ruby

- to do anything to stay here. - Mm-hmm.

Mother Abigail.

Is Father Garvey right?

Did you kill that pop star?

Of course not.

Then swear. To God.

I can't.

- Huh. - What are you watching?

Oh. Hey. Uh, this week's episode of Father Crime.

You pay for that streaming service?

What? No. Just a free trial.

So, what'd you want to talk to me about?

Well... I really think that you should

do something more romantic when you propose to Roy,

no matter how much you love frozen pizza.

I don't really want to do a big thing.

Yes, but you also don't want Roy to feel disappointed.

I knew this was gonna happen if I told you.

You've gotten in my head.

Why are you doing this?

Is it because you don't think

I'm mature enough to get married?

What? No. And maturity is not a requirement.

You know, sometimes maybe it's not such a bad thing

that I'm more like Dad.

I doubt that.

Because Roy isn't marrying you.

He's marrying me.

And I don't want him to get a false sense

of what life with me is going to be like. You know?

There's gonna be more nights of TV and pizza

than there is flowers and skywriting.

Why are people so against skywriting?

- Chemtrails. - Those aren't real.

Fine, I'll stay out of it.

Too late!

- Hey. - Hey.

Hey, Teddy.

What's going on?

Nothing, I just...

Do you remember how you proposed to your wife?

Do I remember?

It cost me two weeks of salary, but it was worth every penny.

I... still have that...

champagne cork sitting on my dresser.

And to this day, every year,

on our anniversary, Claudia...

tells the kids about that night.

She remembers every detail,

and so do they.

Oh, you should see the way her eyes...

light up when she even

thinks about it.

I think I just did.

No, I said stevia.

Yes, ma'am.

Hello.

Would you, uh, care for some company?

Suit yourself.

Ah. Thank you.

I watched your episode of Father Crime.

You were very good.

Oh, thank you.

But I kept waiting for the song

that you said you sang to the orphans.

It wasn't in the episode.

- I guess it got cut. - Right.

But you said you watched it the night of the murder.

I'm old. I must have confused what we shot

and what they used.

Sue me. It's not out of character.

Right.

And you definitely are a character.

That must be exhausting sometimes,

to be the way you are, just

to keep your place in the city's... zeitgeist.

I wasn't always like this, and I wasn't always alone.

I was married.

Herman had a...

had a bagel company.

We had a lot of laughs.

He died too young and left me enough

to buy that dump upstairs.

After that, I realized...

the only way to survive

being an older woman in this city

is to be... memorable.

Not just yesterday's news.

Oh, it's, um...

nice chatting with you.

I have a hair appointment.

See you around, Elsbeth.

That sounds familiar.

It's "September Song."

For me, it's a long while from May to October.

It's from a show called Knickerbocker Holiday.

Oh. What was the show about?

It was a musical comedy about fascism.

It wasn't very popular,

but it gets revived every once in a while.

The music is so beautiful... and sad.

Kurt Weill.

He wrote it a few years after fleeing the Nazis.

He figured people are safe in America.

Maybe that's why it sounds so sad.

So the Great American Songbook isn't just American, is it?

Oh, no. Some of our best composers

came through Ellis Island on the way to Tin Pan Alley.

Irving Berlin. Vernon Duke.

- Igor Stravinsky. - Wait.

Vernon Duke?

"Vernon" was on the index card above Ruby's bed.

It must've been code for Duke Sebastian,

whom she claimed she didn't know. She definitely knew him.

Jolly, was there anything different

about the second show that night?

Was Ruby distracted or out of breath?

She seemed happy, which was different.

Oh, and she changed that one bit.

- What bit? - She didn't take out her Mabel Short Award.

She said she forgot to bring it,

but when I placed the tote bag onstage,

it weighed the same as always.

Like Ruby said, "The lights,

the proximity expose everything."

Hey, do you mind? I'm working.

Ruby Lane, you're under arrest for the murder

of Duke Sebastian Mason, Lord of Sussexford.

- That's absurd. - It did seem so,

but we now know you owe this hotel so much money,

you could not let the Duke vote to approve the sale.

So you lied,

pretending you didn't know him, but you had

his phone number taped to your wall.

We found it in your trash.

And your alibi was shaky.

You pretended that you watched your episode of Father Crime,

but you didn't know they'd cut your song.

And don't forget the yogurt-covered raisins

from the minibar.

How could we?

All that proves nothing. I'm old,

drunk, outrageous. I get confused.

No. I don't think you do.

See, I think you pretend to drink and forget your lyrics

- to make yourself memorable. - It's working.

But you're right, it is all

circumstantial without the murder weapon.

Now, I figured that you used the shoehorn

from the Duke's closet

to pry off the towel bar and then make it look like a...

slip-and-fall accident.

But the Duke's room wasn't as decrepit as yours,

so you had to find something heavy to use as a hammer.

Like that award you carry around.

- Can anyone follow this? - It's not that hard.

But the base of your Mabel Short Award is.

After you used it to kill the Duke

and then hammer off the towel bar, you came back here...

to the second show, only this time

you cut the bit where you take the award

out of your tote, which, um, really upset Jolly.

I'm a creature of habit and professionalism.

You didn't take it out because you realized

the stage lights and the proximity to the audience

would have exposed any blood or other evidence,

so you waited until after the show

where you could wash it all away.

- That is a wild accusation. - Yes, but

we can prove it. All we need to do is examine your award.

Well, you can't.

You don't have a warrant.

And this is mine.

See, I told you

I do have a tote just like that one.

Oh, dear, did I take the wrong one?

You may have washed it off,

but there, clear as day,

are the imprints from the shoehorn handle.

They really do monogram everything at this hotel.

It's like stepping back in time.

It looks like the gig is finally up.

You have the right to remain silent.

That's all right. I know the words.

See, I knew you were lying when you said

you wanted to leave New York.

How could anybody want to leave?

Feet first.

I wonder what's gonna happen to this place.

I don't understand. The sign said the place is closed.

Yeah, for a private event.

That's us.

Shall I bring the first course?

Not yet.

I'm gonna do something before I lose my nerve.

What are you...?

Oh, my God.

It's true.

He could be on Broadway.

Right?

I still have the cork sitting on my dresser.

Teddy's getting married.

Yeah.

It happened so fast.

Hey. You okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

- Oh. - It's just the end of one season

and the beginning of another.

I know things will change,

and maybe they'll move to the suburbs,

but no matter what...

I'm not gonna miss out on being a grandmother

because my clothes are so soft

- and they're gonna love my hugs. - Hey.

Slow down.

You have nothing to worry about.

Teddy's a mama's boy.

And you are never gonna change.

That's why people love you.

It's gonna be hard to leave this place.

For me, too.

I was just getting used to Deandra.

They like me so much, I'm being promoted

to work for the Havenford Group office.

Captain Kershaw thinks it's a smart move.

I kind of like it when you pop up in surprising places.

Hmm.

Hey. Did you ever figure out who was trying to buy the hotel?

Hmm.

Hey, did you see that?

Oh, I love that show. Wasn't it wonderful?

It was so great. I cried.

Yeah, me, too.

Isn't it great to love things?