Original subtitles

people having sex means penetrative intercourse and an orgasm and most

people take sex seriously worrying about whether they're doing it properly rather

than giving in to the moment and simply enjoying themselves there's much more to

great love making than just intercourse in the same way as there's much more to

sex than reproduction spending time on sex play will help you relax and really

make love so Why sex play rather than foreplay?

Quite simply because foreplay implies that it's just a starter, with

penetrative sex being the main course.

Sex play can be a sensual feast in its own right, and shouldn't just be seen as

something you do to get to the main bit.

After all, how can you really enjoy it if your mind is on what comes next?

And don't forget the play part of sex play.

Great sex has a sense of humour. After all, rubbing body parts together in a

frenzied way could be seen as a slightly ridiculous thing to do.

There's no need to take sex so seriously that you lose the sense of exploration

and fun.

Relaxation is also essential.

Allow time to set aside the stresses of the day and connect with your partner.

As Martha St Johnson said, good sex begins when all your clothes are still

on. Go for a romantic walk together, share a bottle of wine over dinner, have

a bath together, or simply gaze into your partner's eyes and say that you

love them.

As with all sex play, do whatever makes you both feel good, and you'll be laying

the foundations for a fabulous time together.

By treating sex play as important in its own right, the pressure to perform is

removed. Men can stop worrying about staying erect and having to perform on

demand, and women can throw away their concerns about coming through

penetration alone.

A woman will always respect a man who helps her to achieve orgasm before

penetration. It shows that he cares about her and that he sees sex as more

than simply a way to ejaculate.

And a man will feel fantastic if he knows that he's a good lover, and even

better if he has a partner who loves pleasuring him too.

There's no doubt that sex play can improve intercourse.

Only about 25% of women can climax through penetrative sex alone.

This increases to over 93% if the man spends 20 minutes or more on sex play.

So this is the real key to great lovemaking.

The joy of a long and intimate kissing session should never be overlooked.

The Kama Sutra says that kissing kindles love.

There's no doubt about it. Kissing is an incredibly sensual act, and almost

everyone can remember their first kiss.

In the early stages of a relationship, couples tend to kiss regularly, but it

can easily become a neglected part of sex play.

Many couples slip into pressing the right buttons and forget the joy of

lingering hours spent kissing.

However, a really good kiss can be far more memorable than a lacklustre sex

session. According to Relays, couples that kiss regularly but don't make love

are more likely to stay together than couples that are at it like rabbits but

rarely kiss.

For the perfect kiss...

Start gently. Touch your partner's lips with your own.

Simply feeling your partner's mouth on your own can get your juices flowing.

Kiss your partner's face, their eyelids, eyebrows, forehead, cheeks, nose,

wherever else feels right.

Once the kisses are getting stronger, run your tongue softly over your

partner's lips and be sure to pay attention to how they respond.

If they seem to enjoy it, dart your tongue lightly over their lips, then

into their mouth.

Run it between their gums and lips.

Explore inside their mouth. And when their tongue meets yours, play with it

with your own.

Bury your kisses.

A level of unpredictability makes everything much more exciting.

Alternatively, you could try an Eskimo kiss, which isn't simply rubbing noses,

as is commonly perceived. A true Eskimo kiss involves putting your nose close to

your partner's and breathing in their spirit.

Kissing passionately can be even more arousing than direct genital contact,

particularly for women. There are even a few lucky people who can climax through

kissing alone.

Most importantly, learn what your partner wants. Ask them to kiss you the

way they would like to be kissed.

Then do the same to them.

During a long kissing session, you'll probably both be aching with desire, and

it can be a good time to extend the kissing over your partner's body.

and use your lips to tease their nipples. Remember, many men like their

nipples kissed too.

Work your way down your partner's torso, kissing their stomach and maybe

flickering your tongue into their navel. Rather than moving straight into oral

sex, carry on kissing down over thighs and calves, maybe just briefly letting

them feel the warmth of your breath on their genitals before you move on.

Skin creases, like the backs of knees or inside of elbows, can be incredibly

sensitive, so gently suck or nibble all over their body.

But be careful about leaving love bites.

There's no need to brand your partner to prove that they're yours.

Caressing is a wonderful addition to kissing. Run your fingers gently along

their arms and down their back. If they shiver with pleasure, then you're doing

something right.

Not all kisses involve the mouth. You can try a butterfly kiss, fluttering

your eyelashes over their body to make them feel cherished.

Butterfly kisses can work wonders in more intimate places.

Some people find toe kissing incredibly sexy.

Let your lips play over your partner's foot, and after working your lips over

their sole and the top of their foot, try sucking their toes.

And? returned the favour for them, too.

Above all else, don't feel like kissing always has to move on to something more.

It's intimate, romantic and sexy in its own right.

Many men and women find it a challenge to give their partner a really good

orgasm with their fingers or hand.

But there's no need for that to be the case.

There are numerous techniques that can help each of you to give your partner a

huge amount of pleasure.

Watching your partner masturbate will give you a sexy lesson on what to do and

is often an intensely erotic experience.

It's also true that many women lack confidence with men.

Remember, most men masturbate regularly, so they're the best person to show you

what they like.

Ask your partner to masturbate using your hand.

Let your hand relax and let them control your movements entirely.

Most importantly, listen to your partner's reactions and watch them to

see exactly what they enjoy.

Remember, everyone's different, so some techniques will work on a particular

person better than others.

Don't just stick to one technique.

Surprise your partner with a change of stroke or caress to keep things fresh.

Just don't change technique as they're about to climax.

Unless you want to be a real Dave.

Handjobs are a great and usually easy way to make a man climax, so long as the

woman is confident.

First... Get your partner into the right frame of mind.

Flirt with him, kiss him, tell him how much you want him. Then stroke his

chest, moving gradually down his torso.

Tell him that he's gorgeous and don't forget to praise his penis.

Every man wants to hear that his penis is big, thick or even just attractive.

Stroke his penis and testicles until he rises to the occasion. If he hasn't

already, then get a grip. Men tend to like a reasonable amount of pressure.

Imagine you're giving his penis a firm handshake. A confident hold reassures

him that you know and enjoy what you're doing.

When you've found the technique your partner likes, maintain a steady rhythm,

unless you want to keep him at the edge of pleasure for hours.

Carry on until he climaxes or change to some other form of sex play, depending

on what you both feel like.

Changing position can also change the way a handjob feels.

Ideally, you need a position that lets your arm take some of the strain.

Try emulating your partner's masturbation technique by sitting behind

him and reaching across his body so that your hand's approaching his penis from

the same angle that he does when he masturbates.

Rather than gripping him as you usually would, ask him to move your fingers

until you're holding him in the way he'd normally touch himself.

Ask him to put his hand around your hand so that you can get an idea of his

preferred level of pressure.

He can even masturbate with your hand inside his to give you an exact idea of

his stroke.

Alternatively, lie on the bed next to your partner and rest your elbows on the

bed at groin level. Use one or both hands to masturbate him in this

position.

You can lie on your back with your partner straddling your chest when

you're masturbating your partner.

Grip him with one or both hands and let him control the thrust.

This is a great position if you're feeling tired, as all you have to do is

keep your fist clenched and arms still.

Or try approaching from behind, pressing your breasts into his back as you stroke

his penis and balls.

Your partner can sit.

Stand, lie down, or kneel while you masturbate him.

Whichever you choose has its own benefits.

And hand jobs while you kneel in front of your partner can give him an extra

thrill. You can easily reach his balls and stroke his frenulum from this angle,

and he can feel masterful, which may appeal to you if you're into power play.

You can also widen your sexual repertoire with different hand job

techniques.

Squeezing an orange is less scary than it sounds and can be a fun and effective

way to give your man pleasure.

Rub and squeeze the head and spin your wrist as if you were trying to juice an

orange. Your other hand can stroke his shaft or testicles at the same time for

maximum pleasure.

A variation on this involves masturbating your partner's penis with

one hand while the other, well-lubricated hand, palm flat, rubs

over the head in a circular motion.

Experiment with the pressure of your grip until you find the best sensation

for him.

Another great technique is basket weaving.

Link your fingers together and clasp both hands around your partner's shaft.

Push both hands to the base of his shaft, twist them, slide your hand to

the top of his shaft, twist at the top, and repeat.

The church involves making your hands like a steeple and pushing them over

your partner's penis.

with the thumbs rubbing over his frenulum.

Or try hands together, in which you slide both hands up and down his shaft.

Vary this by crossing your hand with your thumbs facing forward.

Or try the fire starter in which you roll his penis between your hands as if

using a stick to start a fire.

The birdcage will tease every part of your partner.

Grip your partner's penis with one hand while the other strokes the head,

rotating it for maximum pleasure.

Or try the heartbeat.

Flasp your hands together as you do with basket weaving, then pulse them as you

slide them up and down. This mimics the way your vagina moves around him. As he

gets more aroused, you may want to change back to basket weaving to help

him climax.

The rings is a wonderfully effective masturbation technique.

Form the OK sign with both hands, then encircle the head of the penis with the

OK ring of each hand.

Keep up a steady motion, then speed up as your partner gets more aroused. You

can also use the rings at the top of his penis or twist in opposite directions.

Try using both hands alternately, as though paying out a thick, endless rope,

or using both hands together, one above the other. The frenulum or frenum is

particularly sensitive for many men.

This is the stringy bit under the head of the penis.

Try rubbing your thumb across it as you masturbate his shaft.

Indeed, you should generally put your thumb to good use when you're

masturbating your partner.

Slide your hands up and down, letting them rub against his frenulum and the

vein on the front of his penis.

Other fun things include making a rain pattern with your hand.

Or letting the penis clap against your hand.

Or his stomach.

Pulling down a man's foreskin and holding it firmly towards the base of

his penis can also intensify feelings for him.

If you want to get really creative, a pearl necklace can add an unusual thrill

to a hand job.

Lubricate it and then wrap it around his shaft.

He'll get an extra thrill from the beads rolling up and down his shaft.

Or try different textures, like silk.

Or fake fur wrapped around his penis.

No matter what the technique or the position, it's important to remember

that hand jobs are about far more than just the shafts of the penis.

Lots of men have sensitive nipples and inner thighs, so don't neglect them.

Ask if he likes having them stroked or lightly scratched.

And many men complain their testicles are neglected, so give them the

attention they deserve.

Use masturbation techniques that involve the testicles, like the taffy pull,

where you gently tug their testicles, or the batter-up, where you rub over their

testicles, cupping them to pull them upwards and curling your fingers over

the head of the penis.

Stroke them, cup them, or roll them in your hand.

Some men like it if you tug their testicles at the point of orgasm and

apply too much pressure. The testicles are tender and can be easily bruised, so

handle with care.

The top of the scrotum, just below the shaft of the penis, is also a common

erogenous zone.

Stroke it while you masturbate him to make his balls jiggle and give him an

extra thrill.

And then there's the perineum. This is a super sensitive area between the balls

and the anus.

Try pressing on it while you masturbate your partner's shaft as it stimulates

the prostate gland from the outside.

The prostate gland is a chestnut-shaped lump about a third of the way up the

man's anus on the inside.

If your partner is willing, try sliding a finger or even a toy inside his anus

and gently stroking his prostate while you masturbate him.

This can give some men the most intense orgasms ever.

However, make sure that any finger inserted into an anus is clean, has

short nails and is well lubricated.

Ideally, use latex gloves or a condom on the toy or your fingers to prevent

infection.

There aren't many ways you can get a handjob wrong.

However, you should avoid pulling his penis down using your nails.

or masturbating an unlubricated penis too fast as it could cause pain and

friction burns.

Ask your partner what he wants. There's no need to be shy, after all. If you're

close enough to make love, you're close enough to talk about it.

If your hand gets tired, there are various options.

Swap hands. Ask him to take over.

Or... ask him to wrap his hand around yours and control the pace.

Let your partner know that you want to please him and your relationship may

well improve as much as your handjob technique.

Pleasuring a woman with your fingers can be immensely satisfying for her and a

good way of expressing intimacy.

It's important to realise that manually stimulating a woman is rarely about

penetration.

Start by stroking her pubic mound, vaginal lips, and particularly her

clitoris. Keep your touch light and playful. Let your fingers dance over her

and tease her.

It can be easier for a woman to climax through manual stimulation than

penetrative sex, as your fingers can be far more precise than your penis,

hitting her most sensitive zones. You can caress her clitoris, G-spot, A-zone

and even cervix.

Some women feel self-conscious about their genitals. They don't see them in

the way their partner does.

Telling your partner that she's got beautiful bits will help her relax and

open up.

It's a compliment that almost every woman will appreciate.

The clitoris is a wonderful thing, with the sole function of giving a woman

sexual pleasure.

And it's far bigger than you might think.

It's wishbone-shaped, with three-quarters of it hidden from view.

So there's a lot to stimulate.

Try softly stroking your partner's clitoris, focusing on the clitoral hood

to start with, until she starts to get around.

Some women don't like direct clitoral stimulation until just before they

climax, and others don't like the tip being touched at all, as it can be too

sensitive.

Work around the base of the clitoris and her inner lips if this is the case.

Even if she likes direct clitoral stimulation, she'll appreciate you

taking a gradual approach to reach it.

Loving the pearl is ideal once your partner is getting really aroused.

Rest your thumb and index finger on either side of her clitoris and rub it

back and forth.

Follow her body movements to set the pace.

Or try masturbating the clitoris as if it was a miniature penis.

Not all women have a large enough clitoris for this to be possible. If

your partner is one of them, simply put your fingers on either side of her

clitoris and rub or squeeze it.

or try rubbing the ridge above it.

Alternative techniques include rubbing your fingers against your partner's

pubic mound and clitoris, twirling her labia between your fingers, as if you

were twirling a piece of string, or simply rubbing your partner's clitoris.

While the clitoris is important, it's not the be-all and end-all. The labia

and entire pubic area are very responsive to touch and teasing.

Spend time stroking your partner's pubic mound, gently tugging at her pubic hair

or running your fingers over her labia.

And pressing one hand against a woman's pubic bone with the heel of the hand

resting on top of her ovaries while you stimulate her with your fingers can help

deepen orgasm.

Rocking your hand back and forwards as you do so will help stretch her skin and

indirectly stimulate the clitoris.

Once your partner is aroused enough, she'll probably let you know when she

wants you to penetrate her with your fingers.

Start slowly, with just one finger, a joint at a time, and only adding more

when it becomes easy and she's happy for you to continue.

Women vary as to how many fingers they like inside them. One good rule is three

on the outside and two on the inside.

But some women like even more.

Vary the speed and rhythm of your fingers inside her and combine this with

movements over her clit and playing with her nipples with your fingers or tongue.

And don't just thrust in and out, experiment with different motions,

crossing and uncrossing two fingers inside your partner or alternating them,

piston style.

A twist of the wrist can also add a delicious thrill.

The stir is a sensual technique that many women enjoy.

Using your index and middle fingers together, insert them into her vagina,

then stir them around to tease her vaginal walls.

The G-spot is a spongy mass about a third of the way inside a woman's vagina

on the upper wall.

Stroke it with a come-hither motion.

Bear in mind that not all women have a G-spot.

and some women just want to pee when they're stimulated.

However, other women can have incredibly intense orgasms, so it's worth looking

for.

And it's not just the G-spot. Between a woman's G-spot and her cervix, the round

bit at the back of the vagina, is an area called the anterior fornic zone, or

A-spot for short.

Found by scientists investigating vaginal dryness in 1996, it can also

boost orgasms for some women.

Spend some time exploring to see if your partner is one of them.

Some women enjoy anal stimulation too.

If your partner is one of them, try sliding a finger around the rim or

slipping a well-lubricated finger into her anus.

Unlike the vagina, the anus does not create its own natural lubrication and

is more susceptible to tears, so use plenty of lubricant and make sure that

you wash any finger that's been in the anus before touching the vagina with it,

otherwise it could lead to infection.

Relaxation is the key to anal play, and if it hurts, don't do it. You either

aren't interested or aren't relaxed enough for it to be enjoyable.

Enjoy exploring your partner's body and take your time.

Sex isn't meant to be rushed. Just remember, keep a steady rhythm as orgasm

approaches. Unlike men, women want a constant pace rather than a faster pace

as they near climax.

A few guidelines can improve manual sex for both men and women.

Make sure that your nails are short and hands are clean.

Using lube can improve the experience for both of you, even if you get

relatively well lubricated naturally.

Of course, nature also provides saliva as its own form of lubricant.

But it's also worth trying commercial lubes. They come in different types, so

try a few to see which one you like most.

Just remember never to use anything oil-based if you're planning on having

penetrative sex, as it can rot condoms.

Most importantly, ask your partner what they like.

Communication is essential for good sex.

Listen to their body as much, if not more, than their voice.

Pay attention to every arch of the back, every flutter of the eyelashes.

and every moan if you learn to read your partner's body language you'll become

fluent in giving them pleasure

Oral sex is an incredibly intimate act, maybe even more so than intercourse, and

a great way to give your partner pleasure.

However, it's something that some people are squeamish about, whether giving or

receiving. They worry that they might smell unpleasant or they dislike the

idea of losing control.

Women may not like the idea of swallowing semen, and men may worry that

they won't be able to breathe.

However, there's little need to worry about these things.

If you're bothered, you could try a sexy shower together first so you feel

relaxed enough about your body to enjoy oral sex.

There should be something intensely sexy about the aroma and taste of your

partner's most intimate juices.

If you feel uncomfortable at the idea of your partner tasting you, remember this

is one of nature's most powerful tools for sexual arousal. Indeed, it's so

important that some people say if you don't like the way your partner smells

or tastes, then perhaps you shouldn't be together.

That said, it is possible to vary the taste of semen and vaginal juices.

If you worry that you taste too bitter, cut down on alcohol and coffee, while

eating more fresh fruit can sweeten the taste.

But generally, most people worry far too much about the way they smell or taste,

when in reality, their partner is more than happy.

Do be wary about the risk of STD and STI transmission with oral sex.

Unless you and your partner have been practicing safe sex for at least six

months and have full STI tests that have come out clean, you're putting yourself

at risk if you have unprotected oral sex.

Use dental dams or condoms to stay healthy and safe.

Give oral sex because you enjoy it and because your partner enjoys it.

It's not something that you should begrudge doing and certainly not

something that you should do because you want to get it in return.

After you've enjoyed orally pleasuring your partner, remember to tell them if

you love the way they taste and smell.

They'll feel utterly desired.

Giving oral pleasure can be one of the highlights of your sex life. The old

joke in which a man describes his worst ever blowjob as fantastic rings true.

Most men will see a blowjob as a great gift. But remember, the woman needs to

be in control of the pace, rhythm and depth.

Using your hands as well as your mouth allows you to set the depth of

penetration and helps you control your gagging reflex.

Put your hand around his shaft and your lips around the head of his penis, then

move your hand and mouth up and down in time with each other, licking and

sucking as you go.

Lots of men like their frenulum to be teased or flicked with a tongue.

And men, don't put your hand on the back of your partner's head when she's going

down on you, unless she asks you to.

The woman needs to set the pace in fellatio.

If you make her gag, she won't be inclined to do it again.

Just relax and enjoy.

Some men like having their balls played with, so you can put one hand to good

use, toying with them gently, or even tugging on them at the same time as

sucking him and masturbating his shaft.

If you have long hair, try stroking it across his balls while you suck him.

Listen to his moans to see what he likes best.

Bury the position in which you perform fellatio.

Lots of men like the visual element and the power kick that comes from being

fellated by a woman who's on her knees.

It also gives easy access for the woman to caress his buttocks and perineum.

However, if kneeling in front of your partner sets your feminist hackles

rising, get him to lie on his back and then kneel in front of him.

Depending on the size and width of the man's penis, approaching it from the

side may be easier. In this position, you can easily rub the head of his penis

against the inside of your cheek for extra stimulation.

Or try facing his feet.

This means that you can get him far enough down your throat for it to be

enjoyable. It gives him a great view, but also puts you in control.

Alternatively, you can sit back while he kneels over your chest. You can control

his thrusts by gripping his buttocks and have easy access to his testicles,

perineum and anus. You may even be able to reach the prostate gland, the male G

-spot, located inside the anus, just in front of the rectum.

Another position that allows lots of scope for anal play is picking the

plums. In this position, you can easily suck and caress his testicles and

perineum while stroking his shaft.

Try writing a big capital W on his scrotum with your tongue for extra

thrills. Some men like teabagging, where you take one or both testicles in your

mouth.

But it's not just positions. There are numerous techniques to pleasure your

partner orally. Sucking can be tiring, but if you alternate it with licking,

then you'll find it easier.

Just don't suck too hard. When you're licking his penis, let lots of saliva

dribble from your mouth as a natural lubricant.

Try flicking your tongue lightly over him, focusing on the frenulum and other

sensitive areas.

Alternating this with a firm stroke and suction motion will drive him wild.

Some men have a sensitive urethra and like it when you poke your tongue in and

out of it.

Others find that it hurts, so check to see how he responds to feeling your

tongue in and around it.

Humming while you've got your partner's penis in your mouth will send vibrations

through his most intimate areas.

Or use a vibrator on the cheek to do it for you.

If you'd like to try deep-throating your partner, learn how to control your gag

reflex. You can make things easier by raising your soft palate.

Tense your mouth, flare your nostrils, and you'll feel it rise. This gives more

space for his penis to slide down.

The more space your throat has got, the better, though it's far easier to do

with your neck straight than bent, him leaning over you while you pull him

towards your face rather than vice versa.

A great trick if you find that oral sex makes you gag, or if he's just too big,

is the cheek push.

With one hand on his shaft, position your partner's penis so that it's aimed

into the side of your cheek while you fillet him.

Let the head of his penis rub against your inner cheek with every thrust.

Most men can't tell the difference in the heat of the moment.

He'll feel like he's been deep-throated and your gag reflex won't be set off.

Another way to add a tingle is to suck on a strong mint or use mouthwash before

going down on him.

Looking for something a bit different? Try changing the temperature of your

mouth for the ice and fire technique.

Fill your mouth by sucking on an ice cube.

Just make sure you let it melt for a bit first. You don't want to give him ice

burn.

Then heat it up with a mouthful of coffee, but again...

Don't let boiling water anywhere near tender skin.

And then on to the eternal question.

To swallow or not to swallow? Some women hate the taste while others love it.

Safer sex assumed it's entirely up to you which one you go for.

If you don't like the taste, taking the man's penis in the back of your throat

can help matters, as it means that the semen mostly bypasses the taste buds and

is in your mouth for less time.

If you dislike the taste, keep a glass of squash by the side of the bed. That

way, you can wash the taste from your mouth and still cuddle up to your

partner. Leaping up to go and clean your teeth can be a real intimacy killer.

Alternatively, many men find it intensely sexy climaxing over a woman's

breath, face or neck, otherwise known as a pearl necklace.

It's a far sexier way to avoid swallowing than simply spitting it out

into a tissue.

Your partner won't be remembering the night you didn't swallow.

They'll recall in vivid detail the night you let them come on you.

Don't let yourself feel pressurised into swallowing. If you don't like it, don't

do it.

Asking him what he enjoys and then doing it, assuming you like what he suggests,

is the best way of ensuring you both have fun.

If you're really unsure of what to do, try acting out a fantasy where you are a

sex novice and he has the job of instructing you. It can be a sexy way of

improving your technique.

Oral sex is one of the easiest ways for many women to climax.

If you develop your oral skills, your partner is sure to be happy.

If she's shy, showing enthusiasm for what you're doing will help her feel

better about it. It should arouse you, and if it does, let her know. She'll

enjoy it far more as she'll be more relaxed.

Unless she specifies otherwise, make sure you're clean-shaven when you go

down on her.

Handpaper sensation on the thighs or genitals isn't a good thing.

Using the soft underside of your lips to rub her clit gives a softer sensation.

Try gently sucking the clit between your lips, French kissing her vagina, softly

blowing across her clitoris, or softly pulling her pubic hair to part her lips

and give a pain-pleasure thrill, if she's into that kind of thing.

Try humming on her clitoris and becoming a human vibrator.

Another popular way to keep going with oral sex is writing the letters of the

alphabet on her clitoris with your tongue.

Can

you

get to the big O before she does?

As with manual sex, don't just focus on the clitoris. There are other parts of

the vulva connected to the clitoris which can also be stimulated.

The inner labia are rooted at the clitoral hood.

Nibbling, licking or sucking the inner labia indirectly stimulates the clitoris

and will help build her arousal.

Try massaging the outer labia with your fingers at the same time to add extra

thrills.

Nudging back the clitoral hood with your tongue with incredibly light pressure is

also easy in this position and will have most women moaning with pleasure.

Penetrating your partner with your tongue can be incredibly intense for

both of you.

Flex and curl your tongue, then insert it into her vaginal opening and thrust

at a rhythm that works for both of you.

Alternate this with sucking her clit and licking her labia to stop your tongue

getting too tired.

The sensations vary depending on the angle at which you approach the clitoris

and vagina, so don't just stick to the same position. Going in from the side

gives lots of scope to stimulate the whole of the clitoris rather than

focusing on the tip, which may be good if she's sensitive.

Your chin will also rub against her mons in this position, which may add more

pleasure. This is particularly good if the woman has a sensitive clitoris as

it's easier to avoid the tip and focus on the hood and upper labia.

Alternatively, your partner may like lying on her back while you lie between

her legs as this gives easy access to the clit and vagina.

She can then spread her legs wide or place one or both on your shoulders to

give you deeper access to her vagina.

If she sits on your face, you can get your tongue deeper inside her, but don't

ignore that clit.

Or why not try approaching from above? Kneel astride your partner as if in the

69 position, then lick and suck her clitoris. Very soft and hard sucking,

and let the tip of the clitoris slide from underneath the clitoral hood, maybe

teasing it with the underside of your tongue.

Of course, in this position, you could always end up orally stimulating each

other at the same time. You may find it easier moving into the classic 69

position in which both lie on your sides, using your fingers as well as

your tongue. And don't be afraid to take breaks if you find yourself getting too

distracted by your partner's attention.

Let them know if you want to focus entirely on them too.

To make oral sex easy for a man, the woman can try lying on her back on a

table or bed with her legs over the edge. This position means that she can

wrap her thighs around the man's head whilst still having the freedom to

writhe. You can even approach from behind, reaching her vagina from an

entirely different angle while your fingers work their magic.

This position is ideal if your partner has a particularly sensitive clitoris

that can't cope with direct stimulation.

Ask your partner what she likes and listen to her moans. Before too long,

you'll be a cunnilingus king.

Sex toys are a great way to add a real buzz to your love life.

We've come a long way since the days of a hard dildo being the only option.

Now you can get toys in all shapes and sizes.

Vibrators, love eggs and even remote controlled toys.

They can stimulate your vagina, anus, clitoris, prostate or G-spot.

Whatever you want will be out there.

And don't just think of them as a female thing. There are plenty of toys for men

too. and an erotic afternoon with your partner in a sex shop, there are lots of

couple-friendly stores springing up. If that makes you nervous, you can visit

any number of discreet sites on the internet, including the Lover's Guide's

own website at www.loversguide.com.

It can take time for a woman to get used to the idea or the sensations of a sex

toy too.

Don't see them as a solitary pleasure, but allow time for her to explore a toy

on her own before you use it together.

Once she's comfortable with it, you'll both be able to relax and enjoy things

much more.

Sharing your toys safely with your partner can help build intimacy between

you.

Some men feel intimidated by sex toys.

So reassure your partner that the toy isn't a replacement for him.

Ask if he'd like to see you using a toy on yourself.

Most men find the idea incredibly stimulating.

Toys can increase the amount and intensity of your orgasms, add variety

to your lovemaking, and give him a chance to get a rest if he gets tired.

After all, what man can go at 500 revs per minute?

Remember, sex toys are entirely normal.

Picking out a toy or toys is a great way to introduce a conversation about sex in

general. Even better, the anticipation should get you both fired up.

Many men enjoy it if you run a vibrator over their testicles.

though some find it tickles, so check first.

A good way to reduce the intensity of the vibrations is to cushion the toy

with your hand. Put the vibrator on the back of your hand rather than applying

it directly.

You can also use any sex toys during fellatio. Butt plugs for anal

stimulation and vibrators to use on the shaft while you lick and suck elsewhere.

There's even a toy designed specifically for oral sex.

The tongue joy fits on the tongue with an elastic band and vibrates while you

perform oral sex.

It can be used on men to tease the frenulum.

And then there's the biggie, the prostate gland, sometimes referred to as

the male G-spot.

Many men like the idea of being anally penetrated, but are scared to admit it

for fear that they'll be considered gay.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Wanting to feel the prostate gland stimulated is as normal as a woman

wanting G-spot stimulation.

With all anal play, start slowly, maybe with a small, well-lubed toy.

Only use toys anally that are designed for the purpose.

Butt plugs need flared bases. You don't want anything getting stuck.

If you're using anal beads, the trick is to pull them out of your partner as he

reaches orgasm.

It requires nifty timing, but many men say it adds an incredible intensity to

their orgasm.

If you and your partner want to experiment further with anal play, you

may want to consider getting a strap-on.

It's advisable to go to a specialist shop and get a harness fitted

specifically for the person who will be wearing it.

If a woman is taking a man with a strap-on, only do it with full consent,

as with any sex act, and take it extremely slowly.

Your partner may well find the idea of being penetrated hard to deal with in

practice, even if they like the thought of it.

But if a man is always asking for anal sex when you don't really want to, by

having a strap-on handy, you can smile sweetly and say, I will if you will.

However, in a loving relationship this kind of experimentation can give you

both a real thrill.

There are numerous ways to use a toy on a woman.

Teasing her all over with a vibrator can be a sensual treat. The nipples can

respond just as well to vibration as the clitoris.

Trail the toy over her inner thigh or across her pubic mounds.

Use it for lots of clitoral stimulation.

As she gets more aroused, lie down beside her with her leg over yours so

that her entire vulva is accessible.

bring the toy nearer to her vagina, and penetrate her with it the way she likes

best. If you don't know what that is, try a variety of things.

Teasing the entrance, sliding the toy in and out, or resting it deep inside her,

and ask which she likes best.

If you want to experiment with G-spot play, a toy can help. There are several

toys with bent tips that are designed to make it easier to find.

Put the toy inside your partner and rotate it, gradually getting deeper,

until she lets you know that you've hit the spot.

A vibrating sponge is a very discreet toy for extra pleasure in the shower or

bath. Or try using an electric toothbrush.

Cover the bristles with cling film, then use it on the clitoris or testicles.

Or there's always the DIY option. The classic is a sour head. Use it to spray

warm water over, never up, the vagina and clitoris or over his testicles.

Vary the pressure of the spray to see which is the most intense.

Don't be scared of getting creative with the way you use toys either.

If you're petting on the sofa, why not put your favourite toy between the

cushions for your partner to ride while you kiss and caress her?

It can help if you fantasise about group sex but don't want to risk the emotional

dangers of living it out for real.

She can slide up and down on the toy while fellating you.

There are always new toys coming out. The latest wireless toys can even be

worn in public.

Your partner wears it under their clothes and the vibrations are

controlled by either of you using a remote.

No matter what you want, they're sure to be a toy for you. What you do with them

is limited only by your imagination.

Most people assume that touching each other is an essential part of sex play.

However, anticipation is a wonderful thing, and teasing without touching can

be oh so tempting.

Phoning up your partner and murmuring erotic scenarios in their ear will help

set the mood.

But be careful if they're in an important meeting.

If you call your partner at lunchtime, they have all afternoon to think about

what you're going to do later.

If you're feeling really brave, you may even want to let your partner hear you

come. Lie down somewhere comfortable where you won't be disturbed and stroke

yourself, letting your partner hear your moans.

Text messaging is another great way to get loved up long distance.

Send a saucy message, making sure to leave it open-ended so that your partner

can easily reply.

Make sure that you dial the number correctly. You don't want your boss to

get the message by mistake.

Whilst cyber sex with strangers can be extremely risky, titillating your

partner by getting kinky with your keyboard can get them panting for more.

You may want to get a webcam.

Strip off for the camera, caressing yourself as you do.

For extra safety, you may want to keep your head out of the shot while you

play. Just make sure that your partner isn't the type of person who'd save the

pictures to show to their friends.

Strip tease is another way to tease your partner, and it's not just for women.

Get dressed up in your sexiest outfit, making sure it's easy to remove, and

undo. A little black dress for women, a tuxedo for men is ideal.

Make sure that the room is easy enough for you to dance in. Tripping over is

not sexy.

Put on some music that makes you want to bump and grind, and then start the show.

Run your hands all over your body, removing each item achingly slowly.

Remember, striptease isn't about getting undressed as quickly as possible. It's

about slow and sensual seduction.

Eye contact is essential.

Make sure your partner realises just how much you want them as you peel off your

clothes. Sucking your fingers and stroking your body will add to the sex

appeal. You may even want to add some fantasy.

Massage can also be an erotic form of sex play. It's arousing, relaxing,

highly sexual and deeply loving, all at the same time.

And, best of all, giving can be just as much fun as receiving.

There are two main kinds of strokes to use in erotic massage.

Petrissage, which is kneading the muscles, and effleurage, which is

stroking. Use both types. Try long, smooth strokes that follow the curves of

your partner's body.

Move slowly and gently and use your body weight rather than the strength in your

arms for deep strokes.

Massage oils smell great and aid relaxation.

Scented candles and mood music also help set the scene.

When they're suitably relaxed and aroused, you can move on to their chest,

legs, arms and hands, teasingly gliding over their genitals until they're eager

with anticipation.

Rather than going straight for oral sex or traditional masturbation techniques,

move on to genital massage.

Stroke your partner's body while you caress his genitals.

If you're massaging a woman, rub her thighs or gently caress the entire pubic

area.

Vary light strokes with a firmer caress and see which she prefers. She may like

both in equal amounts, so experiment.

After that, you could end with a Thai or full body massage where you slip-slide

all over one another. It's highly arousing for you both.

A sensual massage will set all your partner's nerves alight, so prepare for

serious fireworks.

Sensual food can really help boost the mood.

Have a romantic meal with asparagus, oysters or prawns to start.

Savour the flavours whilst looking your partner straight in the eye and leaving

them in no doubt that you'd rather be nibbling something else.

Share a glass of champagne for extra fizz.

Ask your partner to get naked. Take a grape or strawberry, moisten it between

your lips and then roll it over your partner's body.

As you approach your partner's more intimate areas, the new sensation will

be driving them wild and they'll be desperate for more direct contact.

You may want to add some whipped cream or drizzled honey to your foodie

frolics.

You might be in the mood for some desserts too.

If you want to carry on the tease, team it with mild bondage. A blindfold can

heighten the mood, as your partner will have no idea of what's coming next.

Once you've got your partner suitably bound, tease them with your breath.

Kneel across them, being careful not to let your skin touch theirs, so that all

they can feel is your body heat.

Now breathe lightly over their body. Focus on erogenous zones like the ears

and neck, then gradually slide down the body to breathe on the nipples, stomach

and thighs.

Work your way down their legs, then back up the thighs towards the genitals.

The trick is to be close enough to give your partner a thrill, but far enough

away so that they can't make contact.

This is a truly tantalising experience that will have your partner begging for

more.

Experiment with other sensations too. A feather, fake fur or a silk scarf

trailed over the body can get surprising results.

Ice can also be fun. Just make sure you melt it slightly first as ice burns can

be nasty.

Play out your own nine and a half weeks.

To add to the sensation, you may want to drizzle warm or cold water on them so

that your breath sends a delicious shiver through the body.

Sex play is so much more than just a prequel to penetrated sex.

It can be just as intimate as full-on sex, if not more so, and really lets you

go wild with your creativity.

If you have a sexy idea that you'd like to try, talk it over with your partner.

Communication is the key in any relationship and could lead to some

explosive times.

So, lie back, sit down or stand up and get ready to enjoy sex play in all its

glory.

you'll be amazed at how much it can change your sex life for the better.

Rather than thinking of foreplay as a starter, enjoy sex play as the

bacchanalian, loving and erotic feast it should be.

Favourite bit of foreplay? I guess I like my ears to be kind of nibbled every

so often.

I love it when my wife touches me in a very soft, gentle way.

I like to be touched very softly, and I like lots of kisses all over my body.

I like giving it, but it's because he's enjoying it the most that it makes me

enjoy it even more.

I love watching my job for a new survivor.

I like it when the man plays the alphabet game. I like it when he does it

in Russian, though, because there's more letters.

Are you getting all cameras? I'm a batsman. What?

I'm a batsman. Your turn.