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-GROUP: Surprise! -[laughing]

GROUP: Happy Birthday!

So man, you ready for this?

Listen man, I thought about it, you know,

but I'm getting too old for this.

CASHIER: Come on, man, it's all in your head.

Just get out there, make your last performance your best.

I mean, I still think you look great.

I mean, look at you, you're even leaner than what you were.

So what do you say, man?

After all, I guess they do say "you are your own worst critic."

Exactly.

So why don't we get out there?

Come on, man.

[indistinct chatter in background]

I ain't getting old, I'm getting better.

That's the spirit.

-Yeah, I'm ready. -Let's go.

DEBBIE: Okay, guys!

That's our cue.

[♪♪♪]

CASHIER: Dude. What did you do?

Looks like your final act, like put her to sleep...

[echoing]

[clock ticking]

[zapping]

[phone ringing]

[phone continues ringing]

Yeah?

JULIE: (ON PHONE) Hey precious, I checked out our exam scores online.

Hmm, that was great.

JULIE: (ON PHONE) We passed!

What time is it?

JULIE: (ON PHONE) Are you still in bed?

You were supposed to meet me at the dress market

20 minutes ago.

I want to get something new and bright,

And flashy and flirty,

and super sexy for ladies' night.

I'll be right there.

[♪♪♪]

[zaps]

[chuckles]

Hey.

Hey, cut it out.

You gotta get something that covers you for once this time.

It's ladies' night, we need to find something

that doesn't cover me.

Always the flirt.

A leopard can't change its spots.

Hmm, I like this, and this.

I like that one.

Are you sure? Have another look at this one.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

CASHIER: Put her to sleep...

[echoing]

Super sexy.

CASHIER: "You like it?"

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Okay, okay, okay.

[sighs] This one.

But just promise you'll model it for us when we get home.

I wonder what the girls will think.

CASHIER: Can I help you, ladies?

[♪♪♪]

No.

ALEX: We're fine.

Thanks.

[both laugh]

Oh my God.

Alex, check this out. [laughs]

Oh-- oh my God.

Eww. Leopard print?

Ah, that is so cheesy. So yesterday.

Yesterday? It was more like medieval.

[Alex chuckles]

No, no, prehistoric.

Men look so disgusting in thongs.

I don't know what would ever possess one to ever

wear a thong.

What, does it remind you of someone?

Ew, no, stop. Ew!

[chuckles]

Is that everything?

[zapping]

[eerie wail]

[♪♪♪]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

You girls have a good evening.

CASHIER: Put her to sleep...

[echoing]

What was all that about?

I don't know.

But he sold me a nice dress.

Let's get out of here.

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[♪♪♪]

Alex...

what's the matter?

I don't know, Julie.

CASHIER: You like it?

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

CASHIER: You like this thong?

This thong.

I feel like I'm being watched.

CASHIER: Dude. What did you do?

Looks like your final act, like put her to sleep...

[echoing]

CASHIER: You like this thong?

[♪♪♪]

CASHIER: It's super sexy.

It's a killer.

[♪♪♪]

JULIE: Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

Sexy.

Super sexy.

-Sexy. -ALEX: Knock it off already!

[♪♪♪]

[engine starts]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

So excited for my dress!

-[squeals] -[Alex chuckles]

It'll actually be kind of cute, if you figure out

how to work around it, get it to fit.

It's gonna look so good. So, so good.

Yeah, well, in that dress, I think anything that walks

is gonna be hitting on you.

No worries there.

JULIE: Hmm, we need to figure out how to only get the attention

of a certain calibre of guys.

Whoa!

That's a way to get attention.

[laughs]

JULIE: Sorry.

[♪♪♪]

I don't know, I think we should try

and get Mandy to wear some of my clothes.

[Alex chuckles]

ALEX: She won't do it.

Do you think?

The pink thing from a couple weeks ago.

ALEX: You know what? It looked awesome on her.

Josh is gonna regret breaking up with me when I wear this.

[eerie wail]

Debbie's gonna be a little surprised, but--

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

JULIE: Debbie likes my outfits all the time.

What are you talking about?

Whoops.

[engine revving]

[eerie wail]

Sorry, say it again, Julie.

JULIE: Oh, Debbie always likes what I wear.

You know, all my outfits and everything.

She loves it.

I think Debbie wants to raid your closet.

JULIE: I know.

I don't, but I just wouldn't look the same in your stuff,

you know?

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

JULIE: And if Josh is there,

he'll think that I look super sexy.

Julie, Josh is a dick.

What do you want him--

you sound like you want him back now.

-I don't. -ALEX: Okay, good.

I just want him to want me back.

ALEX: Julie, we've been through this like five times today alone.

Why do you want him to regret breaking up with you?

Didn't you just spend the last week and a half

crying on my shoulder about what a dick he was?

-JULIE: He'll just want me. -ALEX: Josh is a dick.

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[♪♪♪]

[eerie wail]

Oh my God, this is like my favourite song ever.

[♪♪♪]

♪ So many things are on your mind ♪

♪ You've only got one life to live ♪

♪ So let tonight take hold of you ♪

♪ 'Cause you know something's gotta give ♪

♪ You're always jumping way too high ♪

Julie!

Does this song have to be on so loud?

♪ Will you let it go? ♪

[eerie wail]

[vocalizing]

♪ Dance with me tonight ♪

♪ Dance with me tonight ♪

♪ Let the music feed your soul ♪

♪ Feel your body lose control ♪

♪ Come on, baby, dance with me tonight ♪

Did you hear that noise?

What noise?

It sounded serious.

What noise?

If the music wasn't so loud, you would have heard it.

JULIE: What noise?

[groans] I'm pulling over.

JULIE: What noise?

[sighs] Julie, just stay here with that dress.

What noise?

[indistinct lyrics]

♪ Come on, baby, dance with me tonight ♪

[indistinct lyrics]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[zapping]

♪ Come on, baby, dance with me tonight ♪

♪ Dance with me tonight. ♪

♪ Let the music feed your soul ♪

♪ Feel your body lose control ♪

♪ Come on, baby, dance with me tonight ♪

[♪♪♪]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

What noise?

I wonder how the girls will like my dress.

ALEX: They'll love it.

JULIE: So excited.

ALEX: Why don't you text Debbie? Tell her about your new find.

JULIE: Oh, perfect.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

CASHIER: You like this thong?

Put her to sleep...

[echoing]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[♪♪♪]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[Killer Thong whimpers]

[footsteps approaching]

MANDY: Hey, Alex.

How'd the shopping go?

Julie bought this fabulous dress for ladies' night.

MANDY: Oh, yeah? Let's see.

This?

Julie, how's this gonna fit you?

You'll see.

Yeah, we'll see practically all of you.

She's used to it. She loves the attention.

It's super sexy.

Please don't start that again.

She promised she would model it for us.

Yeah, come on, Julie. You promised.

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

Super sexy.

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

What do you think, ladies?

MANDY: Just wait till Josh sees you in that little number.

Oh, you're gonna look so hot.

Josh is so going to regret breaking up with you.

ALEX: Josh is a dick.

MANDY: Either that or he'll be glad that he broke it off

with a floozy.

And the dress?

It's gonna break right off of you the minute you put it on.

[screams]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[screaming]

Whoa. What the hell was that?

[zapping]

[♪♪♪]

CASHIER: Put her to sleep...

[echoing]

[panting]

No.

[sobs]

[door lock rattles]

No.

[sobs]

[panting]

[screams]

[panting]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[sobbing]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[Debbie sobbing]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[indistinct]

[screaming]

[zapping]

Alex, Alex, what's wrong? What's the matter?

Are you okay? Alex!

[muffled screams]

[♪♪♪]

Alex, did you hear that?

Alex!

Alex, I think Debbie's in danger.

We need to do something!

[sighs]

I'm gonna take a look.

[floor squeaking]

CASHIER: Put her to sleep...

[echoing]

Oh my gosh. Debbie.

Debbie.

Debbie, what happened? Are you okay?

Debbie, Debbie, speak to me. Speak to me, Debbie.

Oh my gosh.

Debbie.

Debbie, please wake up.

[sniffling]

[rattles]

[♪♪♪]

What are you?

What do you want? What did you do to Debbie?

What do you want from us?

Stay back.

Stay back.

I'm warning you, I'm not afraid of you.

Stay away.

Stay away.

Stay away!

Stay away!

Get back.

Get back.

[hypnotic zapping]

[♪♪♪]

CASHIER: Put her to sleep...

[echoing]

This is not happening.

[panting]

Must do something.

What can I do?

[pants]

[♪♪♪]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[Killer Thong laughing ominously]

[fan squeaking]

[Killer Thong laughing ominously]

ALEX: Are you good?

Oh yes, you are good.

[fan squeaking]

You're the best big boy. You're super sexy.

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[eerie wail]

[Killer Thong laughing ominously]

[grunts, chokes]

[Killer Thong laughing ominously]

[grunting, chokes]

[guttural wail]

[Killer Thong laughing ominously]

[grunting, choking]

[Alex coughing]

[Alex whimpering]

[grunting]

[Alex coughing]

[Killer Thong groaning]

[coughing]

[panting]

[chair squeaking]

[zapping]

[♪♪♪]

CASHIER: You like this thong?

[clock ticking]

[♪♪♪]

[slashes]

No.

You want me? Come and get me.

Come on, banana hammock. Let's see what you got.

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

CASHIER: You like it. Cut.

Come on, big boy.

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[Killer Thong laughing ominously]

[♪♪♪]

[Killer Thong laughing ominously]

[grunting]

[Killer Thong laughing ominously]

[grunting]

[Killer Thong laughing ominously]

[grunting]

[thuds]

[thuds]

[Killer Thong choking]

Hello.

What's the problem, Mr. Thong?

Can you get out? Huh?

[chuckles]

Looks like you're stuck in there, huh?

What's that? Oh my, yes.

It looks to me like um, you got your crotch stuck in the blade.

[chuckles]

Bet that hurts a little bit.

[chuckles]

You're not so tough now, huh?

Nope, no, no.

What can you do, other than wiggle around, huh?

Leopard print, disgusting piece of cloth.

Here. [mocking drawl]

Try to kill me.

[grunts]

Get in there!

I'm sick of you.

Stay.

Good.

Quite a little company.

Now you're gonna do what I want you to do from now on,

alright?

Ahh, what's the matter, you sweaty piece of butt floss?

[chuckles]

Cat got your tongue?

[laughs]

Hey, you're not being so fun anymore.

What's wrong?

Can't beat me?

CASHIER: You like it?

JULIE: Do I beckon your desires?

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

CASHIER: You like this thong?

It's super sexy.

You're terminated, sucker.

[blender whirring]

[zapping]

[blender whirring]

[♪♪♪]

JULIE: It's super sexy.

[Alex sighs]

[sobbing]

[crying]

[floor creaking]

[♪♪♪]

[footsteps thumping]

[♪♪♪]

[zapping]

[zapping]

[♪♪♪]

[footsteps thudding]

[Alex whimpering]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[Alex whimpering]

[door closes]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[Alex screams]

[Killer Thong raspy breathing]

[Alex screams]

[Alex crying]

[♪♪♪]

[cries]

[girls laughing]

[♪♪♪]

[girls continues laughing]

[♪♪♪]

]zaps]

[♪♪♪]

[Alex exclaims]

Are you good?

Your friends are gone.

You think you've won?

You think you've won?

I hear it's your birthday.

Yet friends die today.

[voice echoes]

Killer.

Killer.

Killer.

Killer!

[voice echoes]

[gasps]

DARK LEOPARD LADY: Wake up, Alex, turn back time.

[♪♪♪]

CASHIER: You like it?

[♪♪♪]

DEBBIE: This is no fantasy.

This is no fantasy.

There was an occasion.

This is your aftermath.

This is your fault.

There is no requiem.

You can't look back.

The joy is gone.

The tapestry of nature.

[Julie moaning]

Your fruitful waters beg forgiveness.

Your desires deceive you.

DARK LEOPARD LADY: Wake up, Alex.

[Julie moaning]

You want her soul, yet you kill her.

Fearful of sharing the response.

Doubting all answers.

The voices cannot help.

[Julie moaning]

DEBBIE: You are the cause.

You beg the solution.

You deny the screaming maiden.

[Julie moaning]

Turn back time.

[Julie moaning]

DEBBIE: Wake up, Alex.

Wake up, Alex.

[voice echoes]

DEBBIE: Wake up, Alex.

Wake up, Alex.

[Julie moaning]

[♪♪♪]

[Alex gasps]

CASHIER: You like it?

[gasps]

MANDY: Are you hungry?

[Julie talking backwards]

Why did you let me die?

[voice echoes]

MANDY: [indiscernible speech]

[♪♪♪]

[Mandy talking backwards]

ALEX: Mandy, I couldn't do anything.

I was scared.

You're a coward.

You're a coward.

[voice echoes]

You're a coward.

[Alex breathing heavily]

[♪♪♪]

[Julie moaning]

[Julie moaning]

[gasping]

JULIE: Do I beckon your desires?

Shall we journey into the depth of our waters?

-[Julie moaning] -[Alex panting]

ALEX: No!

[voice echoes]

[birds chirping]

[panting]

[girls laughing]

CASHIER: You like it?

You like this thong?

Who are you?

[girls laughing]

[♪♪♪]

GIRLS: Who are you?

[birds chirping]

[♪♪♪]

Why did you bring me here?

[water dripping]

[♪♪♪]

CASHIER: Dude, what did you do?

Looks like your final act, like put her to sleep.

OLD-TIMER: Maybe your act scared her to death, lady killer.

[water rippling]

CASHIER: Sweet dream, sugar plum.

[♪♪♪]

[birds chirping in distance]

[telephone ringing]

[telephone continues ringing]

[grunts]

We aim to please. Birthday-Gram.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

That's at no extra charge.

Well, listen.

If I can pull some strings,

I might be able to get a second dancer.

[sniffs]

Two for the price of one. How's that sound?

Alright.

[grunts]

[bed squeaking]

Alright.

So who's the birthday girl?

Ah, 23.

Address?

8:00 p.m.?

And I'll need a name. Debbie? Got it.

Alright, Debbie.

Get ready for a super sexy dance of your dreams.

[♪♪♪]

And nightmares.

[♪♪♪]

Come on!

♪ Hey ♪

OLD-TIMER: Berries.

[car rumbles]

OLD-TIMER: Berries.

Hello, are you still with me, old timer?

Hello? Is anyone there?

Is anyone there?

[grunts]

OLD-TIMER: Hey, lady.

Hey, big spender!

I'll bet you $50 I can touch my shoulder here

with my sex organ.

You're on!

You bastard!

Whoo!

Telegraphing that 360.

Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!

I see you're up to your old tricks again.

Keep the change.

Dude, no wonder you're always broke.

That's my style. Live life while you can.

Right on.

[clinks]

Listen, I just got hired for a surprise birthday party

and the client's looking for another dancer.

What do you say? One final gig?

Well, I uh--

Dude, it's an all-girls party!

With marshmallow berries.

How can you go wrong with that?

Let's go for a ride in my car and we'll talk

about it on the way.

So, ladies, look what I got her.

DEBBIE: Ooh, I like 'em.

-Yeah? -DEBBIE: Yeah.

I do, too, actually. I do, too.

I think this one's my favourite.

Yeah, mine too.

And then I think this is cute, too.

Nice.

What'd you get her?

I got her pyjamas, because she's been wearing

those ratty flannel things forever.

MANDY: Yeah, she has.

[chuckles] And so, how cute is this?

-MANDY: That's adorable. -I love it.

MANDY: That's adorable.

Well, actually, I got her two pairs,

because I couldn't decide, so.

This has long sleeves.

MANDY: Perfect. She'd wear that.

And like little bows.

MANDY: That is cute.

I love 'em.

-MANDY: Very cute. -I love 'em.

So, I might return a pair or I might keep a pair

for myself,

but I have to decide which I'm giving her.

I think she'd wear that more than that.

-Good point. -But that is so cute.

I know.

So, Miss Julie, what did you get?

What'd you get?

I got her these socks.

-DEBBIE: Socks? -Socks?

Well, they're-- her--

That's a nice mom gift.

[laughing]

Well, her socks are really holey,

and she likes to wear sneakers all the time

and you need socks with your sneakers.

So, I thought a nice, new pair of socks.

And look, they're-- they're printed,

they look like safari socks.

Julie, did you spend all your money on that dress?

[chuckles]

It is a new dress, but it was really pretty

and calling my name.

Well, it's a very practical gift.

-Yes. -And I'm sure she'll love 'em.

And they're fun, too.

Look, you can make like-- like-- hand puppets.

[laughing]

They're so fun.

Well, you know what? Good. They're fun.

It'll match everything we got her, so.

[car engine stops]

Yeah, so uh, it's been what, eight years

since you've last danced?

We were real lady killers back then.

[chuckles] Yeah, that we were.

Yeah, looks like this is it.

So, uh, what do you say we uh, go out there

and show those ladies our stuff?

Let's go in there and get those marshmallow berries.

Berries.

Mmm, berries.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

CASHIER: Alright, snap out of it, man!

Come on, man. Let's go.

[car door beeping]

[car door closes]

Back again, just like Starsky & Hutch.

Yeah.

Just like Starsky & Hutch.

[knocking]

DEBBIE: Hey.

Oh, hey!

Hi.

-Is this the right place? -Yeah.

Uh, you're a little early, but come on in.

[♪♪♪]

[girls cheering]

CASHIER: Dude! What are you doin', man?

You're wearing your socks!

[girls laughing, cheering]

[girls cheering]

[♪♪♪]

-MANDY: Oh, yeah! -[girls cheering]

Dude, what are you doing, man?

You're wearing your socks!

[birds chirping in distance]

We have another surprise for you, Alex.

Oh!

GOOD LEOPARD LADY: Hi, Alex. I hear it's your birthday.

I have something special for you.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

CASHIER: You like it?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

You like it?

You like this thong?

You like this thong?

It's super sexy.

It's a killer.

Oh, you are good.

You're the best big boy.

[♪♪♪]

Dude, what did you do?

Looks like your final act like put her to sleep.

Maybe your act scared her to death, you lady killer.

Nope. She's still ticking.

I know I'm good, but I'm not that good.

[chuckles]

Yeah, you wish, Mr. Super Sexy.

CASHIER: Sweet dreams, sugarplum.

Well, no more berry picking here.

Let's go.

Mmm, did somebody say berries?

See this? See this?

Don't start that again.

Let's go.

Let's go.

[sighs]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]