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() - Remember, I'm a married man.

- Do you mean having it off with your lodgers and in the book say?

- I don't know. - Oh, about time darling. - Why?

Were you about to start without me?

- You know I've attracted to you both, Kate.

- And Manuel wants to know who the three of them.

Are they all as strong as this, Paul?

- Yeah, but the guys come in different sizes.

- Do you think the pumps are going to be

horny enough to buy a picture tonight, Matt?

- Yeah, sure I do. Anyway, I've got something else on my sleeve.

- I don't get your drift. - Look, you pair of smart asses.

I've got a great new and original idea. - You mean you're going to look for a job?

- Very funny.

The guy Manuel is going to be photographed with tomorrow is, but he isn't.

- Can I get in, darling? - Anytime for you, honey.

- They don't call you dick bang off for nothing.

- No, seriously. Sami, Emmy's partner for the session tomorrow is a bird in drag.

See? - That's cool. - That's a real turn on.

It takes someone with an AC/DC, you might have to think of that one up.

- Yeah, but remember, I'm a straight guy in a bent business.

- Don't worry, Paul. I'm always sexy early in the morning.

- Why is that? Because the neurotic experience, you know, how?

It should be interesting, actually.

- Right, relax. - Interesting on the back of the city.

- That's good. Right, take off the suspended earth.

- Yeah, that's right. Spread your legs a bit.

- Okay, Sami, move in slowly. We've been waiting for it all day.

- Good, good, good. - Show a bit more lit. - Good.

- Fabulous, keep it going. - It's not for real girls.

- Look at that, you're dying for a length, okay?

- Great. - Fantastic. - Good, Sami.

- Run your hand, yeah, I'll sit down the back.

- Good. - Great. - Good. - Good. - Good.

- Run your hand through a hair. - That's it. Give it a bit more time.

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Brilliant, good, good, run your hand through a hair.

- That's it, give it a bit more touch. Brilliant, good smile with each other.

- Move your hand down a fight. - Now the moment of truth. - Fantastic.

- You and me take the initiative. - Great.

- I have to say, must like the shot. - Jesus Christ. - Make a pocket.

() - Way to the camera. - Gosh.

- It's like a fortune from these shots. - Oh. - Come on girls.

Isn't the real thing in there? You should be grateful.

Bisexuality is very fashionable these days.

() - Jesus Christ.

This is brilliant. - Hey folks, we've got a cash flow problem.

This is another final demand. - God, I'll tell you what.

That Vill Anderson guy represents photographers and models.

Why don't you go and see him?

- Yeah, but he's got a terrible reputation for women.

- Oh, I'll play him at his own game anyway. Prick teasing is easy for me.

- Yeah, it's animal.

- Well once he's sold on me, you take him along a set

of pictures and say I'm under soul contract to you.

But don't let on to Anderson that you know me.

- Okay. You'll need a different name than Emmanuel in Soho.

- Right. Peggy the pushover. - Great.

- Listen mate, I've had to tell you my boy's good looking

in the best stunt in the half-pawn business, do I?

I know you can't predict anything in a sex picture. If I do, I'll be fair to you.

Pay him on the results. About 100 pounds a come. What? You've got to.

Blimey I wouldn't handle his prick. Let alone his business.

You must have paid you for the job. Shorty good's in the bargain basement.

That's what he is. - Oh. You will buy my boy, eh? Right.

Let me take you to the rich. He must be joking.

How about the cash flow to Beth McGree? Well, all right.

Then how much is the glass of water there? You dead right fucking shysters. (laughs)

Well, let's cut the cackle darling. Do you or don't you?

I do, but you've made me change my mind. Oh, that's what I like to hear.

Must be handsome to my ladies and cheerful and good-looking to my creditors as well.

Would you say my face is bland, handsome and cheerful? Oh, yes, Mr Anderson. Oh.

You never guess. I slipped out of the womb 20,000 or seven days,

four hours and three minutes ago, would you? Certainly not.

But, er, that's a little old me, Mr Anderson.

Aren't you going to take down my particulars?

That's not the only thing I've got to take down down and get 'em off.

They don't call you Peggy the pushover for nothing, I hope.

No, but they don't call me Mary Queen of Scots for nothing, either.

I'll fill up my glass, will you? (music playing)

I'm going to wait for this all the morning. I'm going to get you a raving man.

Well, get that off quick. Oh, come on. Look at this. (music playing)

(music playing) Oh, man.

Oh, these days I haven't got strength at right in eyebrow.

You're going to hit me on. No, no, no. I need trace girls down here.

My doctor said I was a dove Kerber to the bed. I just had a checkup.

Oh, I thought you had the occasion of Hungarian.

You know, listen, years ago I used to take my

girlfriend for a ride in the country on our tandem.

We got to the very, very steep hill. She said, shall we get off and push it up?

And I said, yeah, what do we do with that bike?

Yes, but if you're really going to build me up

into a star, I think I should change my image.

How could I get to looking like Bette Midler?

Ooh, there's only one way you're going to get to look like Bette Midler, darling.

That's to insult your hairdresser. But don't get any false ideas.

The only thing you've got in common are Bette

Midler's two legs, two arms and two tits. Oh, it's all about some Simas Anderson.

My daughter, Marty. Everything OK between us, Kate? Sure, Emmanuel.

Don't worry, I'll be home soon. That's scouting for talent.

It's me that's for sale, not what you think, either.

I'm auditioning for Hang About Sebastian.

Isn't that one of those review shows? It's so her.

Yes, but we all need them and little Paul makes it. Mm, interesting.

Kate revealing herself to the public, gays.

Well, Emmanuel, you were not known as super-critch for nothing.

I hope Paul gets a break.

I think Bill Anderson, that shark of an Asian, is taking us all for a ride.

Could be right.

As soon as you learn that leaving too much, the imagination

is leaving money in the punter's pocket, we're in business.

I want to give you something good advice, son.

Now, so how's the only place in the world

where it's shady on both sides of the street?

I'm a straight dealer. I want to be honest with you. So it's another big nose, eh?

Oh, wee. You haven't advanced since the last lot.

We get this sort of rubbish in every day of the week. Yeah, well, let's call it a day.

Oh, no, no. Steady on, steady on. You've got talent, it just needs to...

When am I going to start earning, Mr. Anderson?

♪♪ ♪♪ I've come for an audition with Mr. Cole. Oh, okay, I'll see you soon.

♪♪ What's he like? Oh, okay, I suppose.

Oh, he's so old he relies on bellows to take a deep breath. ♪♪ ♪♪

By the way, his name's Aide.

When he was born, his father asked the doctor whether it was a boy or a girl.

And the doctor said, "No, I'm one. What are you reading? " Oh, six before 20.

Personally, I don't like an audience. ♪♪

Well, I expect the old queen is ready to see you now. I'll come in with you. ♪♪

Very good, darling, it's very good. You're going to take a break, you all deserve one.

Now, come over here, darling. Tell me, um, what experience have you had, exactly?

I danced at the Folly's Bear. You mean the Folly Bear, Cheyenne?

Oh, don't tell me how I danced at the Folly's. A devastating creature.

Tell me, um, where did you get that dress? In Paris, France.

Oh, looks as if you didn't get it all through the customs.

Might as well take the rest of it off.

Let's see what you look like if you're all together. Music! ♪♪

♪♪ ♪ Hold it, hold it ♪ ♪ Don't let go ♪ ♪ Mean it, mean it ♪ ♪ Not too slow ♪

♪♪ ♪ I am, I am ♪ ♪ Make me know, move it ♪ ♪ Fast time ♪

♪ Don't let go ♪

♪♪ ♪ Don't let go, don't let go, don't let go ♪

♪ Baby ♪ ♪ Baby ♪ ♪ Baby ♪ ♪ Baby ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ Okay, your books.

Come on girls, chat 'em off time over. You can go, go, go get into costume.

No, we must have a look at that finale again, yes? Right, music.

♪♪ ♪ I get ready, I get ready, oh yeah ♪ ♪ I'm feeling, feeling, feeling ♪

♪ I need to be done, get down, get ready for this ♪ ♪ No ♪

♪ Down, down, down, and ready to come ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ ♪♪ ♪ Baby, that's bad too ♪

♪♪ ♪♪ Phew, that was a tight fit. Yeah, just what I was thinking, darling.

Oh, are you on your way, darling? Well, I hope you can do more than that for me.

Oh, we all are fiverr and petty cat outside, eh? That's a lot.

Oh, you're great. I'm V.A.T., very important man coming.

But don't forget your knickers, will you, eh?

I hope you can do more than this for me, such as it is.

It won't be long, I don't know how to go raiding mad

one of these days, I don't know what I'm doing. Oh, I've got to sing now, eh?

Oh, yes, Paul Benson. Paul Benson, come in, will you?

Oh, what art can wash hope guilt away?

Well, about that car, boy, it's very so fond of. Oh, brilliant.

Clean's the atmosphere of down the road to seek for woman, eh? Mr. Anderson?

Yeah, what is it now? Would you have a look at that electrician who's working outside?

He might do for a part in that film. All right, show him in. Come on. ♪♪

Come on, little tight. Whoo! Blimey, you might work with the tight.

Don't go away, I just want to take down a few particulars. Where was you born? Bow!

Bow, where was you educated? Arrow! Oh, arrow? Robbie Nord.

First thing tomorrow morning, step up to studio 730. Show him out, cheater.

Oh, cool, go on. Now, Paul, you're still not bringing in the right pictures.

It's all there, but it takes time. A merc, a Lazarus.

Listen, your make it is a little present for you. Oh, sis, charity.

No, no, no, it's not charity. It's a stake in your talent.

No, I really mean what I'm going to tell you. When you're a partner on this firm,

I'm going to show you the load of crap you've been bringing in.

Yeah, thanks for nothing. Just had a call from studios.

The cossing guy just said, "I want to reel you right here. " The reel you right here?

Well, we can't have imposters, can we?

Ring back and say it's been on the books for ages. It's exclusive to this agency.

Oh, if I forget. You know that right little rave with Peggy?

She's hanging about outside. Couldn't more have the mother. She may be hot, darling.

She ain't never going to get bothered. All right, shove her in.

Yeah, Paul, you mother. Don't hit me.

You are a big film producer casting a big Hollywood film. Understood? I want to work.

Just a minute belt up, will it? What? You know who this is. No.

That there is Jimmy Wankerfich, the famous Hollywood film producer. Nice seeing you.

A casting a big Hollywood film. Really? Yeah.

Come on and show us a bit of your body. Well, I hope I get the part.

The last producer you sent me to see said I was a cheap little scrubber.

Well, you are a cheap little scrubber, ain't you? Very funny.

I soon put him right. I showed him my virginity certificate.

Your virginity certificate? Just a minute. Let's have a look. Where is it? Oh, I see.

This is here. Just a minute. So quickly. Ah, that's no good.

It's two days out of date. Ah, nice arrangement.

Well, that's... Good orchestration. Very melodic. Good harmonies too.

Can you strip Kate? Never miss when I'm getting a bath. The shower gets into bay.

And are you as lovely to look at underneath all your clothes, Kate?

I think you better be the judge of that, Mr. Cole. You got to do it.

Well, what I like to see is fluid movement. Fluid.

None of your old clothes, so quick, quick, slow. Music.

Don't let go. Mean it. Mean it. Not too slow.

I am. Make me know. Oof it. Fast time. Don't let go.

Fast time.

Don't let go. It's not the music. That was absolutely out of this world.

But right out, Kate, darling, lovely, lovely, well.

Comes to hang about Sebastian. Jill. Jill. Jill. You must be my fabulous ASM, Jill.

Jill. You must be a holly and help Kate coming from the cold, will you?

Got an agent, sweetie. No, I don't like them.

Oh, why's old head on that simply exquisite body, dear?

Well, I would just like to sign this little contract. Oh, this will kill you, Paulie.

You know, this bird said to me, she said, "Do you believe in sex before marriage?

" I said, "No, darling, not if it makes you late for the ceremony. " [LAUGHTER]

Here, boy, here. Listen, there's 50 quid in there, right? Great. Thanks for having us.

Don't really deserve it. Little coming, yes. Oh, no, my boy.

Listen, at the moment, you can't sell a pound

note for six months, but you'll improve.

My partner, Tom Puluski, thinks you're well worth investing in.

I hope to see you soon, anyway. OK. Be lucky. [LAUGHTER]

Oh, boy, I've been born in a minute.

Hello. Hello. You look good. You've got sex in the head. Where else can I have it?

Anyway, what about pubic applications? How did you get on?

Well, Anderson's fallen for a little bit of deception. He's even given you the sex.

Hello. Hello. Hello. You look good. You've got sex in the head.

Where else can I have it? Anyway, what about pubic publications?

How did you get on? Well, Anderson's fallen for a little bit of deception.

He's even given you the so-called Peggy the Pushing.

The main part in a manual of so-how. Great. Did you like the photos of me?

No, not really. He said again, give me what I want. Don't worry about Anderson.

Give me what I want. You horny little beast.

Anyway, we have got something to celebrate. Kate's in the cast of Hangabout Sebastian.

She rang just before you got back home. Really? But it's a new day. Oh.

God, she must be desperate.

It's a pity, we're just not getting it together at the moment. Poor you.

I had heard she wasn't very particular.

Why don't you put something else where you'll bitch your little mouth is?

I intend to. When's Kate due back? After lunch. I think I'll enjoy mine. Mmm.

Mmm. These are knockouts. They'll knock out. Thanks, mate.

Germany, Holland, Sweden and France have all bought Paul Benson's last law.

And they want a patch on these?

Jesus, Mark and Roger are going to be really pleased when they see this one.

A good mind to charge him an entrance fee. Look at that. And all 450 pounds?

Poor bastard. Where did you meet him? I met him in a revolving door.

We've been going around together ever since. Just off of a carrot.

Eat a little bit of goods. Ooh, that one's a winner.

Yeah, I'll keep you network for my own collection. Oh, Bill, you're a connoisseur.

I'm a dirty old man. Christ, looking at these pictures really makes me happy. Yeah.

But you wait, Tom, do you see the next lock that Paul Benson's going to bring over?

So, finally, been watching the late film again? Hardly.

I only do that when this went on.

I'll be sorting out this stuff for tomorrow morning. Sorry, Paul.

I'm working tomorrow. So am I, you know. You're touchy. I didn't mean it like that.

What are you doing tomorrow? Hey, just giving the cast the first touching lesson.

Touching lesson? What the hell's that? A lesson in how to make a fiver or something?

Nothing to it. We all undress, touch each other, so the fellas

get used to feeling and touching naked ladies without showing their emotions.

Good. Can't you like a bunch of school children playing

coy little games and getting kicks out of it?

I guess a dumb sight more touching from them than I get from you.

Playing coy little games is paying for this house. Don't forget that. I'm sorry, Paul.

Make it all the best for tomorrow.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, thanks, Sheila.

Which land is first of the slaughter this morning? Look. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, Mr. Paul Benson in half an hour. Oh, Sheila. Yes, Mr. Anderson.

I thought he wanted to build him private, Mr. Anderson in public, eh? Oh, all right.

Do you know tonight? Love to. Oh, we're going to sell my classy.

Then we have to sell what we're going to do afterwards, eh? Oh, Bill.

You're so good to me. Oh, I'm going to be even better.

I'm toying with the idea of a rise for you.

Oh, tonight is going to be a big night for me. Well, you can say that again.

Oh, lovely. I'll tell you what. Any messages? Yes. Only one from Mrs. Anderson.

Oh, right. She wanted to turn her back immediately.

She says she's not feeling well. Oh, send her a get worse card express delivery.

All right, then. All right, then. Thank you. Give me a name. Hello.

Is that you, sweetheart? Oh, no. I know you're my wife. I'm sorry.

I won't be able to be home with you tonight. You and your lovely mother.

Oh, I've only ever disappointed. But business is business, isn't it, eh?

Oh, yes. Excuse me, one minute. Miss Burnett.

Would you kindly show the gentleman down? Oh, yes. Good afternoon, Mr. Grant.

Make yourself comfy, Mr. Grant. I've been with you in one minute, yes. Thank you.

A very important client this time in Darling. I can't keep him waiting.

As I told you before, business is business. Goodbye. Sheila? Yeah.

Is everything still alright for tonight, by the way? Oh, just about.

But thank God your name is Sheila the same as hers.

I don't have to worry about talking about sleep anymore. Yeah, yeah.

Poor Benson's here. I'll get him for you. I'll just hold him one minute. One minute.

I've got something to call my nerves. I don't know what I'm doing sometimes.

Here we go. Oh, I'll do it. I'm afraid I'm slightly early. Oh. That's alright.

The early bird catches the worm, eh? Yeah, well.

Well, let's see what you've got in your briefcase. All right, girls. Okay, relax.

That wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. Jill Darling. Now, that was the second half.

Now, right, what you might call the cultural bit before the sex machine sketch.

And I only hope that that Terri manages to control herself this time.

She made her just spectacle of herself last time we did it. Poor girl.

Oh, you could say that. I suppose. But I'm both the difficulty.

It says that Terri is a boy. Oh, I see you've met Terri.

Carbox office manager then. Yes, we've met. Watch it, Derri. You're waving at her.

Watch it? He got it. Take his eyes off it. Down, Rover. Down. I'm sorry, Kate.

My feeling's got the better off me. Thanks for the compliment. All right, girls.

You can go and get dressed now. You're absolutely splendid.

Aidie is really pleased with you.

And when I am pleased with you, that means you are finished for the day. And so am I.

Oh, I've got it. Must be a funny old world for you, Jill,

standing around watching us, touching each other. Oh, not really.

When Aidie isn't here, I sometimes join in. In fact, I wanted to be in the show,

but he refused. Poor Jill. Yeah, right. I agree. It turns me on.

Perhaps, Aidie, fantasy's you. But, of course, he does.

If he could get a divorce from his boyfriend, he'd shack up with me any day.

See you. Can I take you home? I do think my husband would approve. Oh, would you?

Well, I don't know yet. Holy boy, you've got to get bird with a bit of class.

I mean, she's got about as much sex appeal as a gripping tab. Oh, no, no.

I'll keep that one for reference.

What I will do now ain't going to cost you nothing. I'll give you a little lesson, eh?

Now then, there's only four sorts of models of size I'm concerned.

She's a scrubber, right? She's a classy bird, okay? That's a fella.

There's only two sort of fellas, ruffs and gents. He's a gen. And he's a ruff.

Now, I'll test you out. What do you think he is? Gen? No, no, no. He's not a gen.

He's a ruff. He wouldn't be a gen. He had a ring on every fucking finger. Bully boy.

An SBO stills are getting worse. Not better. You're not learning a bloody thing.

Oh, I've learned something. I'm no good in this line of business. Let's call it a day.

Not so hasty, Bully. I've got a great new idea. Now listen. (SINGING) Brown and dark.

It's come along. That's it. (SINGING) Oh, Bully. Oh, I like it. I like it.

Sell it too. Sell it. That's it. You're warm. Yeah. Let's get ready for the bell.

Got too fast, darling. Oh. Oh, hello, Bully. Coffee, tea. Something's stronger.

We are open, you know. No. No, thanks. I'm strong enough.

Oh, just professional interest. Come on, Bully.

You and I might be working together soon. Bill, eh? How's he so well? That's better.

Relax. I can't wait to see your stuff published.

Let's have a look at what you've got. Hey? Yes, what? That Picky's man's back.

Oh, I'll show him in. Oh. Yes, what is it? Good morning. How are you yesterday?

I should feel better tomorrow. You sure you can't use me as a male model?

I'm raving six maniac like you. You shorten away, my girls.

I assure you I wouldn't touch one of your girls. I'm not even interested in girls.

Why? You were homosexual. No, I'm not.

Picky, that would make you more interesting, wouldn't it? No.

Good, you know, I'm really very used to working with celebrated people.

I shall never forget working with that famous actor. What was his name now?

Just got a right foot. Why didn't he get an electric blanket?

Oh, I didn't know that we did comedy, darling. Well, anyway.

Sausa Farr, the draws himself up to his full height of thigh feet nothing.

What's under the ground, piano? An exit stage. Right.

I shall never forget it if I lived to be 25. Back to the knurf seat, yes, yes.

Keep it going. Keep it going. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Paulie?

There's a lock on chain on there because there's a hundred quid.

You've done very well indeed. Excellent. Great improvement.

But first, he has some very good advice. Such hands? It's from a rave party.

Oh, some of your friends along, you know, the wild ones? Fill them full of booze.

No, that's out. I can't afford it. The phone's even going next week. Don't worry.

I'll pay you a phone bill and I'll give you

a sub against future earnings for the party. No, I'm not really into it.

Listen, boy, this is what you've got to do.

When your friends get high and let themselves go, get out your little candle.

No, it's not me. Listen, Paulie, boy. Think of all that money in a Rolls Royce. No.

No, go on your way. You think about it, boy. You think about it. Yeah.

What's the problem, lad? You've got a coffee. Bye-bye, son. Bye, son.

Hello.

Hello, Tom. How are you, mate? Yes, Tommy. Paul Benson brought in the stuff.

It'll make us a stack. I'm telling you, I know. Well, I don't know, mate.

He hasn't done too badly out of us, has he?

I gave him Andrew Quinn to get on with it, and I didn't encourage him today.

I know, yeah. I'm betting he'd be back with some more goodies in the end.

What a fantastic photographer he is. Do you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to take you out to lunch. I don't know.

Sorry to disturb you, Bill, but I think I'll have some prints here. Oh, welcome.

Sir Danley, I've been thinking about that party idea. It's a beaut.

Oh, yes, well, fantastic. Well, thanks again for all your help and guidance.

I'm the money. Oh, it's my pleasure. Great.

OK, fellas, what goes? It's what comes, telephone.

Cates, all our problems are over.

We can live happily and disgustingly rich forever after.

But I don't get paid all that much for the show. It's true, Kate. Of course it is.

It's Anderson. He's a crook. Tell me the Neil bits.

Look, I heard him on the phone with one of his partners.

He was saying, what a sucker I was. Oh, it's a crook. It's a crook. You're a crook.

Tell me the Neil bits. Look, I heard him on the phone with one of his partners.

He was saying, what a sucker I was. How are you going to prove anything?

It'll just deny it. Yeah, Kate's right. Look, I'm just going to let him think.

I'm still the prize idiot, right? I know enough about him. I'll get him.

I can even write a book on him by the time I'm finished.

I'm going to split as close to him as a monkey does to his nuts.

[Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Where's my t-shirt, Paul?

How do I know? See you later. Take care. I will.

I'll get a complete dust air in Anderson. Not taking a risk with Anderson.

Your turn will come. It's here. Well, don't go to prison for it. I'll wait.

I'll tell the cast about the party and phone you later. Yeah, please. Bye. Bye.

[Music] Yes. Starlings, darlings. Usher, Usher.

Katie has something rightfully important to tell us, haven't you, darling? Yes.

My husband thought it would be a great idea to celebrate the

opening night of Sebastian with the party in our place afterwards.

You're all welcome. Bring your friends. There'll be lots of food and booze. Coming.

Oh, yes. Can't be an angel. I'm looking forward to it. Oh, me too.

Carried unanimously, we'll all be there. It's too hard to pick a corner ring.

I won't be a second. Be too? Be an entire six thing. Oh.

Hello? Paul. It's Kate. It's all fixed. Great. So they're all coming. Terrific.

God, I hope Anderson takes the bait. Yeah, we might even get the bastard. Okay.

Keep your fingers crossed. See you later. Bye. Bye.

God, why do you bother wearing that thing?

Well, I might have to answer the door to the milkman.

Anyway, a girl has to be decent. You can't change your habit of a lifetime, can you?

Anyway, she's got her in Anderson.

Two big publications. Yes, this is Ms. Anderson's secretary speaking.

Oh, Mr. Benson. Hello? Ms. Bonette. Hello.

Oh, I'd like to speak to Mr. Anderson, please.

Actually, I think I'd much rather speak to you.

Well, Mr. Anderson doesn't look like Raccoels, does he?

You, you're a dead ringer. Okay, see you. Morning, Bill.

Can I possibly make an appointment with you this week, please? Yes, okay. Right.

I can hang on. Yes. Get it off.

Yeah. Yeah, Paulie. How about Thursday morning? 11.30, eh? Great, great.

You fix up the party, have you?

I'll say, it's all arranged for the opening night of Hangabout Sebastian. What?

Yeah, my wife's bringing the castle on afterwards.

Well, so it's just right for a rave, I find it. Okay, see you Thursday, Bill. Bye.

And now for you, young lady. That'll teach you to ruin my business conversations.

You've just got sex in the head.

Sex is all right at the right time and the right place. Stop!

And it is the right time and the right place.

Good morning. Mr. Benson. This is a surprise. Can't see why.

I've got an appointment at 11. Sorry, 11.30, actually. I just checked.

Watch out, everybody. Here's this lunatic Paul Benson again.

I won't say he hasn't got a brain at all.

But he's obviously left his memory box somewhere. How are things with you? Great.

All right. Okay. All right. I'm sorry, Bill.

But he's obviously left his memory box somewhere. Great. Hey.

Would you like me to make you-- I'd love for you to make me.

I was about to say, make you a cup of coffee. Sexy.

I'm glad you spotted the most essential ingredient. Oh, damn.

I've left my cigarettes. Oh, well, I'll go without. Oh, come on.

I'll get them for you. Yeah. What brand do you smell? Signates. That's in the ring.

Put it on. Toodaloo. [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, when do you look? Sorry, love. I just couldn't find a shop that's sold them.

Oh, well, it doesn't matter. Raj and Tinian, you know.

I'll get her back on the way home. Bloody long way to get her back there. Yeah, fine.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

What a lovely view. Yeah. Especially when the sun's up. I can see that.

Oh, you mean these. What else could I mean? I was right. You are sexy.

Oh, hello, Paulie. You're a liberty guy now. Come along in. Oh, what a morning.

Hey, it feels like I've lost an iPhone already. It is half past 11 already.

At night. [MUSIC PLAYING] There we go, Paulie.

It's down to the wife's on the phone. Oh, well.

Say I'm delayed and you don't know when I'm coming back again. All right. Right.

There we go. Oh, we're sharing it, Paulie. Just take a little sip. Right.

Here's a film in your camera. All right. Now then, the party, how many?

There's a list of the people who are coming. Cast a Sebastian.

Friends and a few others. Some right. Rave is going. Should be good.

Sounds like a nice evening, Paulie. Yeah. My wife, Kate's going in a manual.

My sexy lodger's going to be there. You've seen them in my prints. That's it.

It's your idea. We thought he'd like to come along. Oh, my god. Seven scenes.

Oh, no. I guess I can put these people off. Yeah. It's all in the line of business.

Why don't you bring your wife along? No. She's not a party girl.

But do I bring somebody else along? Yeah, sure. Meantime, Paulie.

I've got a little something for you. Right. A chick. Right. Now then.

Any nice birds in the clouds. Oh, yeah. Hey. Are you there? Yeah.

It's really sweet, isn't it? It's a hell, aren't it? Hi. You're enjoying yourselves?

Fantastic, boy. Fantastic. Hey, what a show. Hang about the glasses. Amazing.

Yeah, he's a really big lad, isn't it? You can. Come on.

Let's go and find someone where we can be alone together.

I'll never stop trying to do you doing my spins over there. But he won't find out.

Do you think the tape is going to stick again? Where are you going?

I'm not going anywhere. I live here. Right. Boys and girls, boys and girls.

It is cabaret time. Cabaret time here. And two ladies here tonight.

Two professional ladies. Ah. I met in the theatrical sense darlings.

They're just dying to show you their artistry.

First of all, direct from my new show. Hang about Sebastian the lovely Judy. Great.

[APPLAUSE] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [APPLAUSE] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] OK, everybody, it's your turn. Get them off. [MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Look, Mr.

Big and Sheila, they'll go to bed soon, just help me get them into bed, OK?

Just tell me how. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] Ah, that thing all right, Belle? Yeah, hello, boy. It's mashing.

It's getting really well. Good shots. Savin' his boy, old boy.

The noise is getting Sheila down.

And what was all these people taking their clothes off? Say no more.

I'll show you to the guest room. Great boy. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] Where have you been? Where have you been?

I've been saving myself for you. Beware of inflation, let's dance.

But I thought we might. No. Derek, have other things on my let's dance.

Where's Paul? Looking down from the guest room from the great height.

Oh, who just thought he'd be so quickly? Well, so quick, anyway.

It's a pity we haven't got a sound train this coming.

Could I put a train to play and cut with the train? We could do our own.

Well, not now, pal, isn't there? What are you doing? It sound this sudden, Sheila.

Well, it's a little--

[MUSIC PLAYING] Good God. Does it look funny whether she's close or yes?

Have you seen what she's got in her hands? Or a joke? I can't see anything.

What's she doing with it? She's trying to make it bigger. Good God, so she is.

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Look at this bunk room. It's like a place of jelly.

Yes. What's that? I don't know. Is it a mall? It's a big one. It's a big one.

It's a big one. Look, it looks like it's coming now.

If I've said it once, I would say it again. Wow. Why before?

Yep, if music be the food of love,

Bill Henderson's sure is the London Philharmonic. Patchely motion.

The only time he slows down is when he comes to a car. Don't laugh.

He might even like to see himself on the telly. And we'll soon find out tomorrow.

Yeah. Hello? Paul. Mr. Henderson's waiting for you.

Oh, and by the way, thanks for a great party. Oh, it's a pleasure.

What was Bill's financial pleasure? I thought they'd be mine.

It's Paul for you, Mr. Henderson. Got the recorder, are they? Yeah, cost me a stack.

You got the goods, so far I got the goods, Bill. Are you pleased? Please.

Not now, completely. As I'm sure you will, Bill. I hope I will, but no promises, mine.

Ah, I promise is there a thing in the past.

At the moment, I'm sitting in the seat of that Rolls Royce you were telling me about.

I hope everything's gone all right with Paul.

Listen, if Paul says everything's all right,

it must be the understatement of the year.

You get here a bit old for this, are you, Bill? God, what would your wife think?

I must go soon. Jesus, the suspense is killing me. Relax.

I'll call you if anything happens. We're home and dry.

The only question now is how much, and only Paul knows that.

Oh, Bill, this is your life. I've even got a title for this little epic.

What about telling me of the screw? Do you like it? More God Almighty.

That's right. Have a drink, I would. You've seen me such a fluster.

On second thoughts, I'll have that.

You bastard, you bloody blackmailer. It takes one to know an old man.

Oh, I can do your favor. Make a lot of bread, think of the rolls.

You got talent, you know? Talent, my arse. You deserve what's coming to you.

Listen, how much do you want for it? I'd like to be a partner. Oh, no.

Tom and the boys, they wouldn't agree to that. I'm sure they would, William.

They don't want to see themselves on the silver screen.

Listen, they're all happily married men.

Well, that's where you're wrong again. I've checked.

Look, it's your neck as well as theirs, you know.

Anyway, you've admitted that I'm good. What are you talking about?

Oh, yeah, I've got copies of your files and your prints.

I've been thinking about the bread, Bill, just like you told me to.

I'll have a nice office, better than this much, and maybe an attractive secretary.

Listen, can't I just buy the cassette? You can have that one if you want.

I've got a copy in the bank. In fact, why don't you show it to Sheila?

She might even blackmail you as well. Drink? Thanks.

You know, it's all to your own advantage, Bill.

We can market my stills and make a packet. And my name won't come into it.

No, no. I've sussed us all out. We're all dirty, young men at heart.

Oh, right. I'll do it. Wellchaps must tell us halfway.

Can't wait to see you in your office.

I'll meet my new partners. Anyway, see you later. Bye. Kate. Yes?

I'm going to stay with Paul. Why not? I'm fond of him, and he'll be mixed soon.

Well, uh, what about Derek?

Look, I like a bit on this side, just like you and Paul do. You know?

I'm not blindy. I was just waiting for Mr. Wright to come along, and he did.

So now, I've got two, Mr. Wright. One who is going to pay for the link.

Jackie, now I'm going out to buy, and the other. Jesus, he is the other. Hello?

Paul, it's Kate. What time will it be home tonight? It's hard to say. Oh.

Oh, come on. You know what it's like. I've told you before.

Yeah, these conferences just go dragging on and on and on. Yeah.

Look, look, if I don't go soon, I'll be in for the jump.

Yes, I'm in a meeting now. It's very important, actually.

But I've really got to get on top of things. Really?

Take down your particulars, will you? Yeah, look, I've got to go.

Yes, I suppose I'll find something to do. OK, love your immediate. See you. Fine.

Hang about. You're not in a good mood, are you? Oh, no, no. So why not?

Don't you like me without my clothes on? I love you without your clothes on.

So what's the crunch? I wanted to take them off.

[♪♪♪]

When I met Derek, he had a harder, some misdefancipping. God, I like horny men.

But Paul turned out to be homosexual and into this boy.

He wanted my money, not my body. [♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪] Paul calmed me into marrying him, the cow. [♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪] Before I met Paul, what was he? A rent-boy, a male prostitute? [♪♪♪]

When a man of all gets near Paul, he retreats.

He's as bent as a U-turn. He fancies himself in her dresses. [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪]

It's a bit of a joke when your husband gets into bed wearing his dressing gown.

[♪♪♪] Derek says what he wants and gets more than he expects. God, I need a man.

[♪♪♪] When Derek kisses me, I want to put my tongue deep down his throat.

I can't get enough of him in me.

He's gorgeous and he certainly knows how to make me come.

[♪♪♪] Derek is wicked. He's my sexual god. I hope Paul doesn't seduce him.

[♪♪♪] What a performer. He drives me crazy.

[♪♪♪] Grah, we make love as if there's no tomorrow.

After it's all over, it's still magic. This has got to be a once-in-a-lifetime screw.

[♪♪♪] God, didn't realize it was the right thing. What are you thinking now?

You're going to prove yourself with you like you did a thousand times. [♪♪♪] [♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪] [♪♪♪]