Original subtitles

The search is on for William Luchenski, proprietor of the Sausage Party

restaurant. Luchenski, known as Chef Death, has been accused of murdering

several patrons and fleeing the scene of the crime. So please be careful out

there. Up next is White Liger with Fight to Survive.

You gotta fight!

If you're gonna survive, you gotta live it up! Or else you're gonna die! You

gotta fight!

She took the trunk to Apple fell.

She got caught up in the heavy swell.

Little Susie, I'll be your holy man Just hold tight to my catamaran

White like a black tide

My jam is almost ready to pop time!

Can you count that high?

One, two.

I need two captains. The captains are going to be Jenny and Pam.

Go, Jenny.

Odds, evens.

One, two.

ain't gonna tell you no lies i know you want it and now you're gonna get it

and wrap my 16 surprise so feel your taco like i'm seeing your papa

gino let's see the white in your eyes the clutch is out and my big block

isn't roaring into your hole i will try

You got it, got it.

And now you get it.

Baby, it's so crazy you made it. You saved me. What you see, if you believe

me, you've changed me.

While you think you're a linger, you saved me.

Baby.

You said my shit blocks the crystal of Columbus.

You make my world go.

It feels better, right? It feels good? Wanna give it a shot?

Okay, I'll hold you.

Good. Good.

Take a shower!

have to come. We're gonna have a sleepover. It's gonna be great. We're

gonna have to watch scary movies. Yeah. Play Truth or Dare. Yeah. It's gonna be

great. You have to come.

Well, okay.

As long as Susie doesn't come.

As long as that smelly whore Susie doesn't come.

Come on, guys. Susie's not so bad.

Ow!

Ow, you bitch. You're my bitch.

So, you going to the party today?

You're so bad. You think that's bad? Wait till I swipe some of my dad's beer.

Yeah.

I'm in, too.

Yeah, baby.

This is going to be so much fun. Yeah, a little hammered. Oh, and a lobster.

Good speaking, ladies.

I know.

Be careful out there.

You know, they still haven't caught the rudder.

Oh, so you and Chuck's dead?

No. He's two counties away.

Well, you know, you can never be too careful. Goodbye, Ms. Johnson.

You have my number if you need it?

Please just call me. You know my number, right? 555-6969. Nice beaver, Ginger.

What's up, ladies?

Hi. What are you ladies up to this evening?

We're having a sleepover at my house.

It's girls only.

It's one fucking sweet beaver, I tell you what.

Oh, yeah? We're having our own sleepover. Guys only. With balloons.

Yeah!

It's so much fun.

It's a little hot in here.

It's a little hot in here.

It's very hot.

Oh hey, Ginger.

Nice dip today in class.

Gonna go pro one day, I know it.

Thanks, Miss Johnson.

Have a great weekend.

I will, you too.

More like pro crack whore.

I just got out of prison.

Oh yeah? For what?

Statutory.

You smell like cheese.

Cheeseburger!

Cheeseburger, thank you.

Speed up.

Hey,

Jennifer, this is Coach Johnson here.

I just wanted to call and see how you're doing. Your parents told me that they

would be out of town for the weekend, so I just wanted to see if you guys needed

anything.

I would be happy to come over.

I know you have my number. You can call me any time for anything.

And also, I just wanted to mention, you know, when I was watching you guys in

the shower earlier today, you said you have some kind of a party this weekend.

And my memory serves me correctly. I think you said it was at 57 Linguist

Street. I'd really love to come. Just let me know, I mean, if you need

anything. I make a very, very good vegetarian

nachos.

I hope you girls don't either.

And also, I make a good kissing.

Ew, that coach is so silly.

She totally wants her nappy dug out. Oh, that's gross.

She does not.

Let's go get the stuff for the party.

Oh, my God.

Who's here?

Hi, Suzy. What are you doing here?

Work here.

Sleazy. I'm not Sleazy. You know, we're just getting stuff for my sleepover, but

you're not invited, so... Can I come to your party?

No.

Sorry, but you're not invited.

It's, like, just friends only.

We gotta go. You're in our way.

I know where it is.

Hi, Susie. Susie.

This is so gross. Ow!

Did you hear that?

What was that?

I don't know.

God, I'm scared.

All right.

I'm going to go.

I have a feeling.

I'm waiting.

I'm waiting.

Do you see anything?

No. It's okay.

see anything. I don't either. I heard something. Mr. Robinson, what are you

doing here?

You scared me and Sharon half to death, you poop.

Hello, girls.

I was just next door making myself lunch for tomorrow and I heard your screams.

What the fuck were you making?

I was making myself a beautiful sandwich of peanut butter and grape jam.

Would you girls like to come next door and have a sandwich with me?

No, thanks, Mr. Robinson.

Suit yourself. You're missing out on something big.

You girls should go inside and take a shower together.

You're all sticky, and you might catch cold.

We will, Mr. Robinson.

We will.

Well, goodbye, girls.

Goodbye. He is really creepy.

Yeah, but he's harmless.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah.

That was so disgusting.

Me too. Let's go take a shower.

Yeah.

So, Phil was looking kind of good today. I know. He really turns me on. I don't

know what's... Aw, you naughty girl.

Oh, please. I'm not as bad as you are. Are you kidding me? You're messing

around with everyone's boyfriend.

Not everybody.

Anyway, she doesn't have to know.

No, she definitely doesn't. I could keep a secret.

Well, it'd be nice if he showed up at the party tonight. I know. I don't want

it to be a girl's night. I wish I'd deal with that.

Cross our fingers that we get boys.

Okay.

Hey, girl.

Hey, how are you guys doing?

Good to see you. Get your butt in here.

Okay.

Okay, for you, we've got some spice to roll. Oh, yeah.

And streamers, you can be on this, okay?

Yay!

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Count in. Ready?

One, two, three, go

Wildcats!

All right, play some Spidget. Good job, Todd.

Thanks, bro. My parents are gone for the night, so we can be a while.

Fuck yeah!

Yeah! Let's break out the Parcheesi.

Parcheesi? That's fucking stupid.

Let's play poker.

Yeah. Texas Hold'em.

Fuck yeah!

Guys, I don't have any cash in me. Can we play some street poker?

Seriously, I don't have any passion.

the deepest of those rise up above those

feelings you've got to

You fucker seen what Jenny was wearing last night?

Yeah, it was so out of season.

Anyway, you seen it?

Talk about I could see her nipples.

Right on, man. It was totally out of season.

You're right. Anyway, hey, uh, you know what? I was checking out Pam today.

I think, dude, I think I just like him bitchy or something.

I might have a shot, too.

Hey, her boyfriend's a dick.

Really? Yeah.

I heard her boyfriend just got a big dick.

Oh, I said fucker. I'm just saying. That's what I heard. I heard that too,

man. Yeah.

But, uh, seriously, Phil, you might have a shot with her, man. You're fucking

hot.

Thanks. I guess.

S'mores, everyone.

Yeah! S'mores! Yeah!

S'mores!

This is my mother's recipe.

Cool. Thanks, Coach.

Oh, yeah, cool.

Here,

Coach, take mine. No, no, no. The white stuff's marshmallow.

Yeah, yeah. So tomorrow, practice 2 o'clock.

Mm-hmm. All right? Okay. Hey, Coach, I was thinking, maybe we could go onto the

field and practice some of our plays, you know, before we hit the showers this

week. Well, football is number one, numero uno. Yeah.

We need to count.

We need to dedicate.

We need to predicate.

I was gonna fall.

What are you still falling?

Fuck!

What the fuck are you guys doing?

What? You said you were gonna fall.

Game over!

Fuckers!

What the fuck?

Come here. Come here. Come on. Calm down.

Have a beer. Relax.

Thanks, man.

Sorry, I just don't know the rules.

It's a game. Come on, we're all friends here.

Relax. Alright, whatever.

Relax.

So I don't remember playing like this when I was like five.

Alright, good.

So, I mean, if you want to do something else, you can, you know, French or...

Okay. What the fuck are you talking about?

I was just joking. I was just joking. Fuck. Come on, seriously.

Why don't we play some Spin the Bottle?

Hey, you guys want to see what the girls are doing? I mean, it's like a fucking

sausage party over here.

I have a bowl of sauce. Fuck yeah!

Come on, I got this.

Listen, it's the last night before we graduate. You don't want a bunch of

girls getting in the way. Seriously.

I mean, what do they have that we don't anyway?

Vaginas for one.

Yeah? We got s'mores and balloons and twatster.

Todd, I'm not playing fucking twatster!

Me neither, dude.

How about you?

Maybe you can score a pan. Yeah!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you're just gonna up and leave? I mean, we made

s'mores and shit.

Dude, I already have like eight of them and shit.

Me too, man. They're my favorite. Yeah, that's why I made them. They're really

awesome. Yeah, but... Hey, look, why don't we try to bring back some pussy?

Yeah!

Yeah,

well, whatever. Just come back.

Yeah, seriously, just... Can you come back?

Just call me back.

I haven't got out of that sausage fest.

My ass hurts.

You know what? The fucking s'mores are great and shit, but I'm really tired of

their fucking immaturity. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I know. I'm tired of all that macho bullshit.

Fuck yeah.

Let's just, let's go see what the girls are doing, man. Maybe we can go watch

them make it out or something.

Fuck yeah!

Fuck yeah!

Well, what do we do now?

We can watch a film.

What do you got?

Pirate Spins Aids?

What's that now?

Pirate musical.

Sweet!

Yeah, let's go.

Come on, guys.

Sweet. Last piece.

Yes! Pull it, but I just pulled it. Hey!

Kitty, you poop.

You scared me half to death.

my puzzle.

Kitty, you're my only friend.

I wish I was popular like Jenny.

I wonder what they're doing right now.

They're probably drinking and talking about boys and shaving each other's

winter bush.

Police have discovered the body of an 18-year-old female in the woods behind

the Stone Lady Cemetery, mere blocks from Hale Manor High School. The young

girl was disemboweled and her intestines have yet to be found.

She was identified as Eve Kendall. You don't have a boyfriend?

And the grass is green, and the water's greener Counting ceiling tides for fun,

waste your life away It's okay, boy Sing your dirty, deep shark tunes on

all the day Down in your basement, aren't you lucky, boy? Said, aren't you

lucky, boy? I don't wanna spend my life

How is it?

Nice!

Mr.

Robinson?

Mr.

Robinson, did you kill a deer or something?

Hey, Mr. Robinson, you have any more of those candy necklaces?

I'm almost out.

So.

Cam, tell us about bread.

Dayla says he has a huge joint.

Let's just say it's more than a mouthful.

You're such a skank, I can't believe it.

What, like you've never had a cock in your mouth?

Well, actually, I'm a virgin.

Yeah, and I'm motherfucking Teresa.

It's so gross

Even if they're creeping, I'll make it so they can't see me.

Guys,

I wanted to kill Mr. Nelson today.

He kept looking up my skirt and then licking his lips after.

Oh, that is gross.

He's like 30.

Oh.

I wouldn't mind if Mr.

Cocktoast looked up my skirt.

He's so cute. He drives a little Porsche.

You are so gross right now. I can't even stand it. Ew. I'd bend over for a ride

in his Porsche.

Oh, please.

Guys, speaking of bending over, did you guys see Phyllis the Puppet Doctor

today?

Well, as long as Brad doesn't find out.

What, are you guys in love?

No! He has a penniless wang.

No!

No!

Daily keeps saying that.

So does Gary.

Your headlights are on. Shut up, cunt butt. You're the one acting a little

butch today.

Fuck off.

Can someone get me a drink, please?

Here you go, slut.

Thanks, whore.

What was that, you guys?

Portia, go check it out.

You do it. I'm not your concubine.

You scared the poop out of me.

Fucking hell, you're right.

Ladies, mind if we join you?

Well, we heard there was a party and we wanted to stop by some tough shit.

Fucking right, we wanna hang with our friends!

Okay, you can come in with us for a little bit. Sweet meat.

Hey, you guys want drinks or some shit? Want drinks? Some fruity?

Was he evil?

Cool, whatever.

I'll go make it.

He's done this.

You know, um... Fuck yeah!

Pam wants Bill's body.

Fucking awesome!

Who was just talking about Pam?

Big Bobby tits. What? What?

I can't find the fruity shit.

I was fucking kidding.

I'll help him.

Yeah, sure you will.

Hey, I can't find the fruity shit. Talk and smack.

Need some help there, quarterback?

Oh,

I'm not the quarterback. That's Todd.

Whatever, tight end. Can you make me a drink?

Yeah, I'd like to make you a... I'm not the tight end either.

It looks tight enough from where I'm standing.

Let me help you.

Here, silly.

Thanks.

Well, can you at least get me a glass?

Yeah, where are they?

Behind me, silly.

We better go back out there.

They're gonna think that you're trying to take advantage of me.

Okay.

Just gonna get rid of this boner first.

What do

you guys wanna do now?

I don't know.

Go to the arcade, play some Pac-Man or something? Mm-hmm.

Okay, I have a sword fight.

Three right there, man.

I don't know.

All right, all right, hold on. We can go skate a bit.

Yeah!

So how long have you guys known each other?

Since number seven.

Yeah,

I work out a lot I like to look good

It's only natural.

Why don't you two start making out?

You and your huge joint.

Me too, baby.

Why don't you give Billy Dick a kiss?

Your what?

You know, my Lionel Richie.

Your what?

My junk.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Just give me a blowjob.

Ah.

Why did you call it your Billy Dick? Just shut up and give me the blowjob.

Did you guys hear that nothing kissing

Seriously, I heard something. Yeah, me too.

Did I sound like Pam screaming?

She's probably just getting a taste of Carl Weathers. Who?

From Predator?

No, guys. Seriously, we should go check it out.

It's fucking nothing.

You girls keep making out. The fuck?

No, dude. We should check it out.

Fine, Phil. Fucking cocklock.

Fucking look for the Predator.

Schmuck.

Hey you guys break it up

Wrong number?

You're so sweet. You're the sweet one, baby. Guys, Susie's right.

We have to get help. And somebody locked the goddamn door. Yeah.

Uh-oh. Somebody else left chromosomes.

Let's go make some daiquiri.

I'll help.

Can I have some water?

The toilet's in the bathroom.

Take pictures, play games, surf the net, but I can't fucking make a phone call?

You guys, we have to get help. Somebody's got to make a run for it.

Well, I'll go.

I'm hungry anyway. I want to eat those tacos. Okay, it's settled.

So does that mean I get to stay with you guys?

Um, anyway, we need to grab weapons. Yeah. Okay.

My dad, he owns a yacht.

Oh, I love yachts. Are you serious?

Yeah.

Hey,

we were just making some victory.

Would you like?

Would you like a daiquiri?

We have to get weapons.

Sharon's going to get help. Yeah, and us tacos.

Are you guys hungry?

They have this great deal right now. You get a seven pound burrito for 49 cents.

Is it extra 11?

Because if it is, it's like $1.89. Hey, that's not the point. Sharon has to get

help. Now, we know Mr. Robinson's dead, so just to be safe, go down three blocks

to the K-Hole convenience store and get help. Okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh. If you're

going, though, can you get me a loofah and an Inan chili chonga with krauts?

Sure. Go to the damn K-Hole.

Okay. Come on.

All right, come on, guys. All right.

Stand behind me, okay?

Okay.

Okay. Do you want hot sauce?

See? I mean,

see, there's nobody out here.

that Sharon stabbed repeatedly.

I want to go out there!

No, you can't go out there! There's a killer out there!

The only killer out there is Sharon. Shut up!

I hope she gets help

I will rock you!

Chaka Khan, let me rock you.

Okay.

Get out!

This poor impartial, she's dead!

What? She's dead, she's dead!

Are you sure she's not just in number two?

What are we going to do?

We have to make a plan.

That's stupid.

We really should make a plan, guys. Okay.

Now Sharon's gone to the K-hole to get help. What we need to do, we just need

to stick together and everything's going to be fine, okay?

We don't know if Sharon's going for help. We don't even know if she's mine.

I need a daiquiri.

You know what? Phil's right. We all need daiquiris. I'm going to make it.

Is anyone else freaked out that Mike's dead out front? and Portia's dead on the

toilet? Oh my god, you're right!

What if I had to use the bathroom?

No! No daiquiris!

The world was

We'll see

you next time.

So the other day at school, Debbie was talking shit about me and I elbowed her

in the lip. It was really funny.

Wow, really?

Yeah, and Portia was like, you're like Wonder Woman. And I said, no, you're

like Wonder Woman because you're the one with glitter on your shoes.

God, those were great shoes.

Did you see them?

No, I like shoes.

I totally wanted to borrow them, but you know, I can't now.

Well, maybe I can.

Yeah.

What's fresh?

Okay.

Wait, what about you and Pam?

Well, I really still think we should get help, but to answer your question, I'm

definitely planning on going to college. I'm just not sure which one yet.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Jenny, you know we need to get everyone together and get the fuck out of here.

You're right.

Okay, everybody, grab your weapons. We're going to go to the police station

together. I'm not going out there. You're fucking crazy.

My best friend, my...

What the fuck are you talking about?

Sharon killed Mike and Portia is dead in the bathroom, which means the killer is

in here.

Oh my God, you're right.

Portia was killed in the fucking house.

Are the killers in the house? We need to get the fuck out of here.

Because I've been saying for the last hour.

Shut up, nobody's talking to you. You weren't even invited.

What the fuck is your problem?

No potential!

No potential!

Now serving, a table for two.

Tacos!

You know what I like about high school boys?

What's that, Coach?

I keep getting older, and they stay the same age.

Come back, Shane.

So listen, me and the guys, we're making, like, the penultimate

supergroup, alright?

And, like, dude, everybody knows that Europe and Asia are, like, THE bands.

You know what I mean?

So, are you ready for this?

This is the name of the band.

Eurasia. Yeah?

Huh?

Slack, bulkhead, rich cream.

She's hanging tough for the defensive team.

She took the trunk to Appleville.

She got caught up in the heavy swell. You gotta fight. If you're gonna

survive, you gotta live it up. Ride the dragon's eye.

You gotta fight. If you wanna survive, you gotta live it up. Drink your Spanish

wine.

Oh, God, like it's your wedding night.

Little Susie, I'll be your holy man.

Just hold tight to my cat of red.

White Liger, black tie gone.

Judge a mogul till my cat gets gone.

Formacious backside, bedroom eyes.

My thing is almost ready to baptize. You gotta fight if you're gonna survive.

If you're gonna survive, you gotta live it up. Ride the dragon's eye, yippee-hi

-ya.

Longer than there's nipples on the ocean.

Higher than any man ever rode.

Longer than you've been all sixes and sevens.

Sapphire and dungaree.

Stronger than...

Any scene-busting trunk calls Truer than any

shitskin tribu Deeper than a rapport with

the devil Sapphire and dungaree

As the blues start to yellow Fading lines

in the crook of our wires Though the grinding bed

raging white jello Sapphire and dungarees

It's shutting. Thanks, asshole.

Shutting. Shut.

Shut.

Alright, you ready?

I think it's good. I think it's good.

Action!

Sorry.

Come on, when you're ready.

Rolling. Action!

I'm glad we got out of that sausage fest, man.

This hurts.

Action!

Glad we got out of that sausage fest. My bra feels violated.

Stop being so funny.

I was in class, right, and Jessica, right, she passed a note to me, and it

was about you.

Fucking shit.

Yeah, fuck yeah!

Is it okay?

You need to rub it?

No, get away from me!

Fuck yeah!

My mother says don't make this movie, but I'm here in a basement grooving.

Wildcats.

Wildcats.

Wildlider.

Wildlider.

Wildcats.

Wildcats.

Bring it down.