Original subtitles

Huh?

I'm sure I'll be able to walk tomorrow.

But you're great.

It's not bad, but it was a little wider.

We're

really

old here.

So what do you do? Do you have to wear it or what?

I can't take it anymore, my old woman. I have at least three years to let go of

my toes.

Oh, it's awful.

Listen, we've got to get rid of the scoundrels. We've got to at least get

them to their point.

We've got to, we've got to.

By the time we left, I hadn't had time to try.

Oh, and I'm sick of it.

And the cops won't come and get us here.

We're better off in front of our box.

You know, if we close our eyes, we'll think we're by the sea.

Yes, I'm very drunk.

Do you like it?

No, I don't like it.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that we were right to quit this

job. You know, in the end, the customers would kick my ass with their supply line

and their delivery tickets.

It's true.

In life, there's still something else than supermarkets.

Speaking for you, I really liked my job.

Another 15 years and I was a cashier-chef.

Oh yeah? So what are you doing here?

You're my girlfriend. We do everything together.

We had our certificate together.

Our first date together.

Our first boyfriend.

Together? Oh, yes. I remember that.

They even slapped us together.

My poor daughter.

If you didn't exist, I think they would have invented you.

Maybe.

You know, if we went, we wouldn't have been able to go around the food chain.

Don't you have a little tooth?

Me too, but...

Unfortunately, there's nothing to eat in there.

Oh, yes, twins.

Even if we made them boil for a long time, it's sure that they will stay on

our stomachs.

You can laugh with your mini cassette.

The question is the trend, we are not rockets.

Not even a packet of biscuits.

Oh, yes, but finally, we're traveling.

Look, we've already arrived at La Varenne.

Well, you're kidding, but I've never passed the port of Italy.

Oh, you're going to make me cry.

Tiens, qu'est-ce qui se passe là-bas?

On dirait un cortège.

Oh, mais c'est loin.

Oh, mais quel... Comme ça.

Ah non, c'est tout près. Ah oui, qu'est-ce que c'est?

Des gens qui visitent un immeuble.

Et c'est joli?

Non, pas terrible.

Ils ont des têtes bizarres.

Mais je te parle de la bicoque.

Oh, le grand standing, ma vieille. Il y en a qui se refusent rien.

Oh, il y a même un salon de coiffure dans les étages.

Ah, je t'y vois déjà.

Moi? Ouais.

Here, your mom is making you freeze.

It's not possible.

Oh no!

Oh, shit.

Oh.

Oh, no.

So, do you know where she is?

Of course!

I have my Roudoudou!

He's waiting for me every night, my Roudoudou.

Listen, this guy is driving me nuts. Just look at him.

When he's out, we'll think we're in front of a cheese boat.

Yeah, I know he's a little scared, but he's my beloved Roudoudou.

So, go find him.

I'll stay and settle down here. I'll become a squatter.

A what?

Une squatteur, c'est du russe. Ça veut dire qu'on occupe des pioles vides, sans

autorisation, sans rien payer et sans se faire boire.

Oh, mais t'as lu ça dans Spirou?

Bon, alors, qu'est-ce que tu décides? Tu restes ou tu pars?

Non, t'es ma copine. On fait tout ensemble.

Si tu squattes, je squatte.

Alors, squattons.

Tell me, if it's to squat in a cellar, I don't see so much interest.

You need a start to everything. And then the cellar, that's where we put the

pinard. You follow me?

Here, look.

Do you see this door?

Well, I'm sure that behind this door, there's Saint-Emilion in trouble.

Who are you looking for?

Saint-Emilion, it's a cousin.

Excuse us, we must have mistaken floors.

Excuse me, sir, if I seem indiscreet, but why do you live in the cellar?

Oh, that's a long story.

But come in, let's have a drink.

No, no, don't worry, I'm a peaceful hermit.

My life rules are abstinence, non-violence, and counter-dance.

It's nice in your house, sir.

Diogenes, Diogenes, Diogenes, yes, yes, yes.

I've been living here for 30 years.

I was born here and died here. This room is all that's left of the apartment I

used to live in. It's been demolished to build this shitty apartment.

You mean the promoters buried you alive?

Why? Because I didn't want to leave.

They did some great work, but I didn't want to leave.

And so they started building.

To dig, to dig the foundations.

And from remblai to remblai, I almost ended up on the first floor, on the

first basement.

That can prevent your rent from going up again.

Tell me, Mr. Diogenes, is there an unoccupied apartment in the floors?

Wait and see, wait and see.

Maybe on the third floor.

It's not big, but I warn you, it's very noisy.

Ah, because the apartment is against the street? No, against the water pipes.

You know very well, we hear everything that happens at the owners.

That is to say, it saves you from buying a radio or even a TV.

The good evenings, we always find two beautiful disputes to get into.

Yes, yes. And then, and then on the third floor, you have Madame Rupino, the

singer who makes her vocals.

And in the fourth, the cabinet of Dr.

Senac, who consults his favorite clients. And many other singers still.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, it's their time. Listen.

It's the end of the 4th episode.

Ah.

um

i love you

Oh.

I love you.

Do you think it's here?

Listen, we can't be wrong.

It's the only apartment in Paris where we don't hear any fights, no marmots, no

TV. So he's free.

Don't panic, my pretty, I was waiting for you.

Really? Here, I'll leave you the room.

I've been squatting for an hour and I'm already tired of it.

Besides, I thought it was weird that this room was unoccupied while it's full

everywhere. But why?

What's ringing here?

What's ringing?

Well, it's the other neighbor's bell who installed a machine to watch the girls

in her dining room.

So here, excuse me, it's a permanent synopsis from morning to evening.

Well, I thought the annoying thing was the ventilation ducts.

Also, but they, as they pass in the bedroom to sleep and in the kitchen

where you have the vacuum cleaners, it's here that we're pretty quiet.

Pretty quiet?

Yeah, because up there, there's a penguin who roars all day.

Who roars?

Yeah, a carpenter, if you prefer.

Ah!

I'm going to go.

The agency has to pay us to take care of this.

Bye.

Be

careful

with your fist.

Why is it so dark in here? I don't like it.

Wait, I'll look for it here.

I'll find it in the light.

Oh, I found it.

Ah, look at that.

It's nice in here now. Do you think so?

Yeah, it's not bad. Come on, put yourself in there. Come on, don't lie

down there.

No, no, no, put yourself on the left. Why? Because I prefer to sleep on the

right.

Yeah.

You know, I'm a little hungry now.

We know.

The old man next door called me.

Diogenes? Yes.

I'm going to order something.

Yes.

Mr.

Diogenes!

Mr. Diogenes! It's us!

Mr. Diogenes!

Mr.

Diogenes! We're hungry!

Here you

are,

miss.

Good night, Miss.

Good night.

Ah, y'a de l'ambiance.

Je te retiens avec ton squat de luxe. Total, ni piol, ni mec.

Oh, écoute, cesse de râler.

Demain, il fera jour.

Écoute, on vient?

Peut-être que c'est des grands blonds, aux grands yeux bleus, perdus dans la

nuit, qui cherchent un sac de couchage pour se réchauffer. Oui, eh bien,

malheureusement pour toi, on dirait plutôt des nanas.

Uh-huh.

I'm sorry.

Um,

Oh.

um oh

Hmm.

Oh.

Tell me, isn't it nice to play trumpet in a pool where we don't have the right

to live? To live in an apartment that doesn't belong to you and to jog in a

park forbidden to vagabonds. In the end, it's more fun to squat in broad

daylight. And you know that the others really take us for owners.

Yes.

Me,

owner.

If my Roudoudou saw me, me, owner, he would be stiff.

Oh, listen.

Red or not red, let me smell your doudou because I'll see you next time, honey.

Can you be selfish?

Of course, you live off love and fresh water.

I'm not the same.

I'm starting to be overwhelmed by the heat, if you want to know.

The squat, as you say, is very nice, but that's not what I'm going to do. I'm

going to send myself on a plane.

Shit!

My God, what a language!

Go to Cordier's, the antique shop. You'll be served.

With his important air, a guy who wants to give you importance without getting

there, thank you very much.

Here, I prefer Dr.

Sennac. Really?

Well, yes, I think that for an intellectual, he doesn't look too

stupid.

I have a great idea.

We're not in the shit.

What if we wrote a book about the life of this house?

Well, what for?

They're all barjots.

Precisely. We'll present this as the archetype of the concentration and

alienation of bourgeois cities.

Shit!

Shit!

What did you say?

Uh, archetype of machin truc, la bourgeoise. Oh la la!

Attention, hein?

Ex-caissière de supermarché. Trop calé pour Bibi.

Pas du tout.

Écoute, la littérature, c'est une question de formule. Tu vas voir.

Prends par exemple Ruder. Tu sais, le cinéaste qui fait du montage dans sa

salle à manger.

Eh bien, essaye de définir, en une phrase, comme ça, sans trop réfléchir. M

'inspire pas confiance.

Il m'a l'air aussi douteux qu'un marchand de voiture d'occasion.

Hé, le fondé de pouvoir du cinquième. Tu sais, celui qui ouvre toujours la

gueule.

Oh,

shit!

Hmm.

Oh.

um um

Oh.

Thank you.

No, no, no.

You

Oh. Oh.

Oh, God.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Ugh.

C'est pas à moi qu'on dirait des choses comme ça.

Je n'en pense pas un mot.

Tu sais, les hommes sont tous des menteurs.

Ben, tu vois, même si c'est pas sincère, c'est quand même hyper chouette.

Les mots d'amour, c'est comme une conserve de luxe qu'on ouvre aux grandes

occasions. On fait semblant de l'aimer parce que ça coûte cher.

Écoute, ça n'a pas tellement de rapport, mais je note.

Encore une vingtaine de pages comme ça, et je boucle mon manuscrit.

Je peux t'en déballer des vingtaines de tombereaux comme ça sur la question.

Dis.

50-50.

50

-50.

I don't know many of them.

I don't know any of them. So you're sure you're going to make me laugh.

Yeah, I have one.

In a school, an inspector enters a class.

He takes a student at random and asks him, what would you like to do later?

Doctor, painter or car wash, says the student.

You don't look very fixed, says the inspector.

Oh yes, Mr. Inspector.

What interests me most is to see naked women.

I don't understand everything.

Don't you have an easier one?

A short one now.

In paradise, two angels who flew joyfully entered the collision.

A third one, a former mechanic, came to help them get up. It's nothing, he says.

Two hours of training, he won't appear anymore.

I'm getting more and more hungry.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Imagine that it's been two hours that I've been

listening to you from the other side of the wall and that I'm literally stuck in

two.

It reminds me of a story that happened to Dr. Sedak, the one who lives in the

4th floor. You know, to be honest, it's not me, he's a psychoanalyst at the time

of the meal. And one day, he makes a new customer come in.

Say, little wolf, what's your profession?

Then the other one answers, mechanic in a garage.

And then the other one... So, since it's like that, answers Sedak, instead of

lying on the sofa, lie down underneath.

You know a lot of them, like this one.

Tons, tons!

I'm a specialist.

Besides, it's very simple.

I collect them all.

Would you mind showing me your collection of funny stories?

With pleasure, miss.

Come with me, I'll show you.

Okay, come on.

Oh,

shit! This one is breathless.

Wait, I'm going to find a guy too.

Fume un joint là-bas dans la salle de bain.

Oh.

Scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape.

um

Thank you.

And now, tell us about your childhood.

When I was little, I wasn't tall.

I showed my ass to all the passers-by.

Well, do you smoke?

Oh, no, never.

Except once, I sniffed all the gas in my lighter because I wanted to send

myself... And then?

And then I found myself at the hostel with an edema in my lung.

You who are a hermit, what do you think of the new philosophers?

The new philosophers, the modern philosophers, only last the time of a

literary season.

Other questions?

In your opinion, why did men start the war?

To be among themselves. So that women don't bother them with stupid questions.

Very well. Since you take it that way, you won't be part of my future best

-seller.

First of all, I don't care.

The real best-sellers are the telephone buttons.

We're really in a state of low tension.

Any well-fed nana would have taken advantage of this to make a man out of

us. Not even us.

Do you want me to make you a little juice?

If you think it's going to make me go up the counter, I'll tell you a good thing,

old lady.

A nana without a man is like Charlemagne without his beard, Joan of Arc without

his voice and the Pope without Boeing.

Yeah, listen, in the meantime, try to sleep.

Tomorrow will be a day.

Hey, tell me, what else?

I'm starting to regret my box and my teddy bear.

In short, I'm fed up with it.

Oh, you.

You know, the day we put the cones in orbit, it's not over yet, my dear.

Go to sleep and have a good dream.

I never dream.

Yes, once.

But since I'm not used to it, it stopped me from sleeping.

Hey, that must make for some funny Chinese shadows.

Mm-hmm.

You think it was smart to put in the mailboxes of everyone the clandestine

recordings we made of them? It's as if you had put a pin in a bin.

Yes, but do you understand?

It's the only way I've found to get you out of this mess.

Well, then, it's decided.

You go back to the supermarket.

Are you sure you won't regret it?

Hey, if you think I'm going to go back to work at the cash register...

You put your finger in the eye, my dear, and deep.

Well, do you have a better idea?

For the moment, no. But maybe by walking... Ah, no, my old woman.

I'll follow you to Saint-Mort.

Last limit.

And then, if so far we haven't found anything, we go home, okay?

Got it.

Here, pass me your jewels.

But what for?

To look for an idea, Pardy.

Oh, my God.

What's going on in Rochelle?

Isn't that the Marne?

It's the Indian Ocean, Giotto. Really?

Here, pass me the twins.

I ate them, but I was too hungry.

It's okay, I've got another pair.

What's going on over there? It looks like a court.

It's all ready.

Hey, let's go to the guys' hotel.

Excuse me, you might say I don't know what I want, but I'd rather send myself

alone.

Excuse me, I'm leaving.

um um

um um

. .

Mm-hmm

Oh.