Original subtitles

okay so you see back up back up

Peace.

Sir. Sir.

I just fucking found you a better camera.

That's not a better camera than this camera.

Man, I'm gonna drop two balls at once.

What tape are you filming on?

What? What tape are you filming on? What the f*** are you talking about, dude?

Why don't you get the tape? I

don't know, it was in your

room. I bet you don't know.

Lights, lights, lights!

See, that is exactly why I picked her. She has great fucking tits. Oh, you just

knew because you're a boot psychic.

Yeah, well, I mean, we've done this so many times.

Dude, we get $50 every time we do one of these things.

I can get us more than $50, man. I mean, that's not bad for this.

$50 for each time we do this. Dude, tell them about the deal that you got.

We hooked up.

Like a reality porn place. Have you actually got paid?

Yeah, we've done it like 30 times. 25, 30 times. I can get us more money than

that in like one night. How do you get more money than that, man? You can drop

this fucking pawn shop shit right now if you want. We need to do skirts.

Like this coming summer. Hey, shut the fuck up, man. Like skirts and dresses

and run by and do, you know, like upskirt stuff. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Yeah, I'm more into like asses. Shut the fuck up, dude. This girl right here had

a great ass too. Her boobs were great.

What the hell, Gary?

Goddamn!

Okay,

go left here and head towards the right back road.

Okay, here's the deal. We gotta break into this house, and all we have to do

is steal this one VHS tape.

Dude, let's use that fucking tape, dude.

Fucking using tape isn't goddamn good for you.

Why don't you use that tape?

Yeah, we got a tape right here.

Dude, they gotta check it.

Anyway, he said the job pays, so, like, it could lead to more work.

Work? Anyway, he also said he saw some of your stuff online.

So you have a fan.

Well, how's that work, man?

We don't put our names on any of this shit.

Hey, you got crumbs in your beard.

Uh, yeah, sure.

What's that?

What are you talking about? Is that your camera?

What the fuck?

A-Rock.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait.

What if he wakes up?

Well, we'll fucking take care of that, I guess.

Yeah, I'll take care of that. Just shut your fucking mouth, man.

Could you go upstairs and we're gonna look around?

Everything's pretty much empty in here.

Fuck what?

The fuck?

Oh shit!

Fuck. What?

No fucking way.

Oh man, he smells.

What the fuck?

Why are they yelling?

Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

You think we need to shut the fuck up, dude?

Hey, let's go. Hey, Gary.

Yeah. Let's check out the basement.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, just, okay, yeah.

Oh, perfect fit.

Give me, give me one of these.

Yeah.

Nice.

What? That shit is so clutch. You can't even fucking tell.

Oh, my God. Look at him. Huh?

Hey, check it out. Check it out. You like these glasses, right? Yeah.

These are not just any glasses, my friend. They're dork glasses. These are

video glasses, bitch.

Dude, fucking, there's a camera in that shit. There's a fucking mic in that

shit. Yeah. Yeah, dude, look at him. You can't see it. It's awesome.

Boom, boom.

Where'd you get it? The internet, Mike. Oh,

so good.

Am I just like a spy now?

Yeah, super spy, man. Super ass and titty spy.

Yeah, tonight, I'm telling you. You know, man. I get it. It's good for you.

I know what you want me to do. Yeah, you do. Oh, come on. Turn it off, man.

Let's do this!

Come on!

I'm not filming a porno. Let's do this!

Shut up! We're doing this tonight!

Come on, man!

How do I turn these on?

This is for fucking Clint. For fucking being the fucking man tonight. Come on,

let's do this. Let's go, let's go.

Oh, so wholesome.

That's what we're doing to this girl right there that girl that you see right

there we're gonna fucking talk to her tonight fucking doing I

don't want to run out the battery

Okay, okay. Right? You good?

Yeah, I'm fine. Put your game face on. You got it. I'm on.

You're my boy. It's on right now. You're my boy. You got it.

So you're having your country breakfast.

How many fucking five jacks are you going to put down? I'd give you like

five. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

That's a good one. At the same time.

Five five jacks? Five.

I could never do that. How could you even film that?

Anybody shoot Irish shit? What?

Hey!

Two of your finest Irish shit.

How about? Four of that Irish shit.

Wait,

hold up. This isn't enough. What about your friends?

You have friends?

Get them all.

Bring them all.

I want to buy them a shot.

Okay. I want to buy them a shot. Stay.

Okay.

Do what she says, man.

Get your breath.

Get on.

Thanks, Sam.

Hey, you want to go meet some people over there?

I like you, too.

Cool.

I like you, too.

So, do you ever come here before?

I like you.

Oh, okay.

Oh, shit. All right, be cool, be cool.

Hey, lady, how you doing? You all right?

You found a buddy? You coming back with us? What are you doing sitting on the

fucking ground? What's going on? That's fucking stupid.

Dude, you cleared the room out quick.

All right, so you guys are good to go.

Oh, she's a fucking trip, huh?

Why don't you chuckle head straight?

This is the notch, my dear.

Oh, no.

Take it up your snatch. Oh, no.

Don't do it. She doesn't want it. It's fine.

She's a grown-ass bugger.

All you got to do is just cover up this little guy here and take a snip.

You're doing good, I promise.

Oh, you don't have to trick her. I'm not tricking anyone, dude.

There's a bunch of grown-ass adults in here. You know what? We are grown-ass

women. We're two fucking grown-ass women adults. Grown-ass.

Jesus, you're doing it wrong, man. Just go.

Oh, what is that?

Fire.

Whatever.

Hey.

You reached the freshest threshold.

You get me on that.

What? Here we are.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Okay.

I guess they

like each other.

Dude, what's up, man?

I'm just fucking sitting on the couch, dude.

Jesus.

I mean, oh my God.

Whoa.

What are you, like a fucking cat or something? Jesus. Oh, Christ.

Okay. Oh my God.

This is cool.

This is weird.

Do you want to go?

Do you want to go? Do you understand?

Yeah, let's go.

Fucking garter bells are going to be tough.

They're going to be tougher when the girl's passed out, man. You shouldn't...

She's done, dude. She's done. Don't do it. Stop now.

Hey.

Yeah,

totally out, man.

Unresponsive right there. Leave it alone.

Dude, she's passed out.

Statutory, dude.

Whatever, don't snap at me, asshole.

Hey, come on. It's cool. She's just too hot to drink.

Hey, come on, come on. Come on.

Dude, come on.

Shut the fuck up, fucking... Oh, hey, man.

Is everything cool? Yeah, everything's cool. Everything's fucking cool.

We're cool.

Hey,

we doing this or what, huh? Doing what?

Hey, are you okay?

You okay?

Shut the fuck up.

What are you doing?

Get over here.

Get this shit.

Holy shit. This is crazy.

Hey.

Wait, hold on, Shane.

Hey, hold on, look at this.

Shane, come on, man.

I'm gonna get it here.

What?

Oh, fuck. She really just fucking bit me. Jesus Christ. She fucking bit you,

Chase. She fucking bit him, man.

No means no, asshole.

No, no, just stop.

No, just stop, dude. Just stop, man. Don't touch her.

Dude, what's your fucking problem? I wasn't gonna... Get the fuck off of me!

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck is that?

What the fuck is that? Go ahead. What the fuck is that?

Open the door.

Open the door.

Where did you fucking see? Where did you fucking see?

He's dead. He's dead.

He's dead.

What do we do?

Patrick, what do we do?

What do we do, man? What do we do?

Come on.

Come on.

Patrick. Where are you going?

What is it?

What is it?

What's your name?

Hey, wake up.

Lisa.

Lisa, wake up.

Patrick, hey.

Oh, shit.

Patrick, wake.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Wake the fuck up.

Come on.

Patrick, what are you doing?

Thank you.

Oh.

Dude!

It's not filming, I mean... Then what's this fucking red light?

I mean, it's a camera.

Well,

looks like we found all this guy's shit.

Yeah, there's a ton of shit in here.

Alright, you go that way, I'm gonna go over here.

Alright.

Found it!

You got it?

Yeah, yeah.

Alright, let me get over there.

Which one is it?

I don't know, man.

You said we'd fucking know, but I don't, so... Uh, get a bag, and let's just

take all this shit up to the car.

Alright, let me, let me find something. We're just gonna take all of it? Yeah,

we're gonna take all of it.

Okay, this crate.

This crate right here.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

This bag is getting better.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

Gary, here.

Gary, there's a fucking man down here.

Dude, I'm fucking dead serious. Do you want me to replay this?

No. Here, here, take this fucking backpack.

Here's a fucking crate.

Let's just fucking go.

There's not a man down here. Man, I just saw it. Look, right, I'm telling you, he

just crawled back there. Hey, dude, there's nothing there. You're tripping.

That's what trippers do. I don't blame you, but, like, I mean, so good job at

that, but you didn't see an old fucker or whatever.

Let's just hurry up and get this shit and go.

Oh. Um.

Okay. Hi.

This is, uh, we're going on a road trip. Sam and I are going on a road trip.

And I'm going to be recording our mementos.

Our memories.

Um.

First memory is Sam already pulling over to go to the bathroom.

This is what we're going to be looking at for a long time.

Nothingness.

Cars.

It looks like it has bullet holes in the side.

I wonder if people go up there and shoot their guns at it.

It's just like a really messed up car.

It's crazy.

Don't forget to drive really slow on curves.

What are you doing?

You don't want to get a sunburn? No, I don't want to get a sunburn.

And I forgot to buy sunscreen.

Must suck to be woken up all the time. Baby, you gonna wash your hands?

Promise me before we eat you're gonna wash your hands. I'll wash my hands

after I eat with my hands.

So this must be the main drag.

I can't imagine them eating lunch.

Singing barbecue.

Singing pig.

So, Sam got this room.

It's kind of dirty.

And there are only two beds I guess he didn't reserve.

And with enough time so that we could get a room with one bed.

Which is annoying.

But I guess it's okay because then at least he won't steal the sheets.

But I'm gonna investigate to see how dirty it is.

Okay.

This is the germiest part.

Ew.

There's like stains.

You think I could pull off cowboy boots?

Mm-mm.

No? No.

I don't think so either.

I wish I could.

It's sort of appealing to me.

How about a big old wallet like that? I like that. I would want that. Big

billfold? Yeah, I think that'd be cool.

Cowboy hat? Could I wear a cowboy hat?

Yeah. Yeah?

Definitely. You think so?

Yeah. Should I go out and try one on?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where are we? We're in Wild West Town. Old Town, Wild West.

We're at the Wild West Junction.

Right? Come on in.

Believe it or not, this old miner here can see your future. Got some money?

I'll tell you all about it.

You got some money?

I don't. How much does it cost to tell your future?

I think it costs a dollar, but remember the movie Big?

Are you afraid of your future? Hold on, let me see if I have a dollar.

Hey there, feller. This here's Pappy, and it must be your lucky day, because I

have some words of wisdom just for you. Listen up now, here.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Yep, yep, that's right.

It's a whole lot better. to say just a little bit than to say too much and wish

you hadn't you know what i'm saying now don't you be a stranger i got lots more

to say to you oh here we go okay ready yeah

a new turn of events will soon come about a happy reunion partner yeah happy

reunion got some wisdom for you a happy reunion with a loved one will make life

all that you ever wanted it or dreamed it to be You have a very trusting nature

and are easily taken in by so-called friends.

Do not be so anxious to do favors unto others, as there is one who is just

waiting to take advantage of your good nature.

New term events will soon come about.

Happy reunion with a loved one.

That's great.

I'm going to keep that forever.

I'm about to go to sleep. Oh, Jesus.

Sorry.

That scared me.

Hold on. Take your sweatshirt off.

Are you recording this? Yes.

I really don't want to.

Don't want to what?

Come on. Just take it. Hold on. Take your sweatshirt off. I have a really

good idea.

Just for one second. I promise. It's a super good idea.

What? I just said I didn't want you to record something like this. What are you

asking about?

I'm saying I... Stop.

I don't want to film this.

Come on, make out with me for a second.

I will make out with you if you put the camera away. But I don't want to.

Why? Because it's so good. You look so hot, babe.

Stop. Come on, why are you turning away?

Because I don't want to. No.

Don't put that back on Seriously,

I said I would do it if you would just turn the camera off

That's

boring with your sweatshirt on

Will you take your pants off? No.

Come on. Give me something.

Give me one victory.

Oh, you're so... Oh, God, you're so sexy.

What are you doing? You can't even enjoy this. You're holding a camera.

Come on, go answer it.

Sam? Sam?

What? Will you come out here and tell me what happened?

Huh? Will you come out here and tell me what happened?

What happened just now?

Um... Well, somebody knocked on our door.

And I answered it.

And it was a girl.

Well, I don't know.

She was, like, young, but not, like, a girl girl.

Like, a college-age girl.

And she asked if we could give her a ride tomorrow.

Where? I don't know.

It didn't get that far.

It was, like, really creepy.

That's so weird.

I know, it is really weird.

My only guess is that she must be just going door to door and asking everybody,

but why wouldn't you wait for people to be getting into their cars tomorrow to

ask for a ride?

It's like really... Maybe it's an emergency.

It didn't seem like an emergency.

And also, she wasn't physically intimidating, but I got instantly

nervous. There was something really scary.

About her even though I wasn't like afraid she was gonna hurt me But she was

just like weird

She's

gone What she's gone she's not there anymore

Yeah. Do you think we should still call the police, though?

No.

Why not?

I don't know.

I don't really know what to say about it.

and also i don't just don't feel like how do you notice there's like way more

hitchhikers here than you've ever seen yeah and also i think this is like a

part of the country that has drug problems like math problems so i feel

like i would rather just let it go okay and if she's still here in the morning

then maybe we can think about doing something about it

But right now, I'm happy to let it drop.

That's fine.

Do you want to sleep over here with me?

Um, no, that's okay.

I'm fine.

Alright.

I hope it doesn't rain.

Does it look like it's gonna rain? Yeah, it looks like it's really gonna rain.

Did you

take money out of my

wallet? No.

Yeah, you did.

No, I didn't.

Well, you must have because I had $100 in here.

When would I do that? And now I have $0 in here.

Well, I didn't. So maybe you didn't actually have that money.

What did you buy?

I didn't buy anything.

I have my own money. I don't need to take your money.

Are you serious?

I've been with you this whole time.

I have no idea what you could possibly be imagining right now.

Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

You decided to treat yourself.

How far can you go? I could probably go farther, but I'm too scared.

Here, I'm gonna go a little further.

Are you alive?

Did you fall?

There's just a lady out there having a conversation on a cell phone, but it's

so quiet that I can hear her even though she's about 50 yards away.

Weird. I don't think I can get back up.

Do you need help?

Maybe.

I can't quite find anything to grab on.

Nice work.

Thank you.

Alright so babe I'm thinking that we could drive home on 40 and

spend the night in Lake Havasu and sort of break the trip up so it's not so

brutal or my new idea is we could go

a little bit out of the way and spend the night in Vegas and still break the

trip up for the most part but also have like one more day of fun.

I just really badly want to play craps.

Yeah? Yeah. I had so much fun playing craps last time, and I haven't done it

since.

It's like the really fun game.

Real group participation game.

Well, whatever you want to do, you get to pick.

Alright. That is definitely what I want to do.

I'm feeling lucky.

Can you turn off the light?

Did you erase it?

What the fuck was that?

What's so special about this tape anyway?

I don't know.

Maybe it's a tape of a sender.

Fucking a daughter or something.

We're gonna use it for blackmail.

I don't know, as long as they pay us. But I'll tell you this, we're gonna make

tapes. Yeah. Copy of the tapes. More money.

Can you not put that so close to my face? It's so annoying.

Wait a minute, you go to this lake every year?

Yep. By yourself?

Um, yeah.

This year I have you guys, so it's gonna be fun.

What do you do? Just like walk around the woods and play with yourself?

If that's what you do, can I play with Samantha?

Guys, let's scare this guy.

Where? This guy over here. Are you ready?

What is he doing?

Let's pick him up!

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

You almost fucking killed that guy.

Whoa.

What? You seriously want to fuck anything that has two legs and a third

tripod in between?

I would never fuck you and I would never fuck you. Take it back. Take it back.

Take it back.

Yeah, what kind of guys are you into?

I'd fuck me.

Would you, Spider? I bet you do. Fuck you? Yeah, probably.

I don't understand, though. You go to this lake every year. It's just like a

tradition type thing?

No, it's just fun.

Not many people go up there, so we'll have a place for ourselves.

Wait,

I got the door.

I think it's good, right? Well, I want to see you get it.

Because when you told me about this trip, you said it was just going to be

us girls, but now we're here.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I need to document this, okay?

You told me, Wendy, Wendy, my sweet, that this was just going to be you and

me.

And now you've told her that it's going to be an all-girls trip.

Yeah.

I'm just glad I'm with, you know, some people.

Well,

I mean, I don't jerk off that much. Not that much. Come on.

I don't know.

Is this it?

Oh, okay, yeah, this is... Ooh, dead end. Let's take the left.

Really, Wendy?

To go is the fucking go, man.

You can catch that thing.

Just get it.

You have your bow knife, right? Oh, get him, get him, get him, get him!

You got him?

What is that?

It's a barracuda.

A what? A barracuda. That's a fish, you idiot. It's a barracuda.

Fly.

Oh, seriously?

I don't know. Oh.

You wanna see me eat it? Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

You're not really gonna eat it, are you? I love you, Mom.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

I mean, I was here to fucking boinker.

Yeah.

What are you... What are... Oh, wait. I have a question.

What are you doing here?

Huh? You got a blonde goddess up there?

No, where?

That's what I'm here for. I don't see much of a blonde goddess anywhere.

crack or She is a crack. You're not getting the camera.

Why do something no go fuck yourself wedgie Did

she wedgie you That's more like it dick wise

right above your head look stop stop It's coming right out of your head. It's

about the size of your dick and it's moving

In silent or walking around the middle of the fucking woods. Where the fuck are

we going? Can you get a shot of this? Yeah, sure. Of what?

What, of the wall?

Yeah. Just humor me, okay?

It's tripping me out. The last time I was here, my friend fell over it.

Alright.

Hi, wall.

Hi, Joey.

Good? As soon as you get back up.

Okay, god!

Jesus! You motherfucker.

Why did you do it? When did you do it? Well, you should have ninja'd that shit.

Oh, fuck me.

Oh my god.

Yo, that is gnarly. Hey, Samantha.

Hey, look. Hey, you like this?

Oh, easy. Reminds me of your mom.

Oh, that's funny. That's really funny.

Come back. Stop poking it. Oh my god, it's not gonna hurt you.

Oh, man. Yo, that's filled with nutrients.

Just suck on it. Bite into it.

What are you doing over there, crazy girl?

What's with this camera?

Whoa, look at that. What? Look at this. Look at this. Oh, wow.

Isn't that awesome? Yo, we could trip all day.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You like that? Oh, yeah. Dream on.

Joey, you're all gonna fucking die up here.

What?

Nice.

Nice, dude.

I'm not getting that fucking leg. Yo, give me that.

What's up, guys?

What up?

What are you guys doing?

What are you guys doing drugs?

What?

Wait, I gotta get this.

Are you serious? Are you guys doing drugs right now? Come on, seriously.

No, seriously.

Okay.

Whatever.

I don't do drugs. How about that?

How's that sound? Spider, what's wrong? Why do you look so scared? Just take a

hit. I'm scared of getting the fear.

What? What? The fear.

You never heard of that?

Don't laugh. Don't laugh. I'm serious. The fear.

You know when you do too many drugs and then you get all freaked out and crazy?

Spider, there's no fucking such thing as the fear.

Just take a hit, bro. Take a fucking hit and chill out. Come on.

I'll take a hit if you don't film it. Promise.

Okay. Yeah?

Scouts on him. Alright.

Where am I doing exactly here?

No, no, no. You gotta, like, breathe it in. Breathe through your nose.

That was huge, girls.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God. This fucker's gonna die.

Oh, my God. I'm not gonna take that. Give me that with the air pull, bro.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my God. My throat's on fire.

Wendy, what the fuck were you saying before about us all getting killed?

Wait, what?

We were over by the mushroom tree. When we were standing over by the tree, she

was like, you're all gonna fucking die.

What do you mean, like here? Like here here?

Here?

Did you guys not hear about this?

No. Why the fuck would I come to this lake if I heard about some damn murders

out here?

Yeah, it's pretty bad.

Are you being serious?

You're fucking with us. Get out of here. No, I'm being dead serious.

Well, what happened?

Um... You know, the weird thing is that

I don't remember what he looked like.

What do you mean you don't remember?

What who looked like? What are you talking about?

What? Fuck you!

Fuck you. I told you guys. The fear.

You see?

Fuck this.

I'm going swimming.

Seriously? Seriously.

Go for it.

Will you strip down for me, Joey?

I don't care.

Oh, yeah?

Jay, you want to see that?

Probably going to be two inches in a minute.

Spider did you bring the fucking camera?

No Yeah So what was the deal with Wendy and all that?

Killer shit. I don't know. That fucking story was creeping me out. She is weird.

I know, right? That's what I'm talking about. The fear. Right there.

What are you doing behind there? It really stinks.

Spider, you want to see something sickening? Sure.

It's fucking disgusting.

This is my new tryout, Spider. Just for you.

No one has seen this yet.

This shit is red hot.

Prepare for awesome.

Wait, what?

What the fuck?

Oh my god.

Oh my god, your eye! Look at your fucking eye!

What the fuck?

Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck!

Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Hey, Joey.

Oh, hey, what's up?

Oh, God, it's getting fucking cold.

Where are the other guys at?

They left.

Wanna fuck?

Uh, they left?

Did you hear what I said?

Uh, so they just left their stuff?

Joey, please do not tell me you're a virgin.

What?

Come on, I think we should get back into the lake, fuck each other's brains out,

and we could even film it for prosperity.

Wow, uh, turn that shit off.

Don't you want to fuck me?

You were serious earlier, weren't you? About the murders?

I remember reading about it now. It was like four kids were killed and the guy,

they said the guy was like insane.

He was beyond insane.

He was evil.

This lake ran red with their blood.

And I came back... To move on. I get it. It's some kind of like...

Post-traumatic stress therapy or something.

No, it's not therapy. I brought you back because I needed bait.

What?

Bait?

They never caught him, Joey.

They never believed me, how he was everywhere.

How he could be at two places at once.

That wall back there, my friend smashed her head open on it.

Wendy, this is crazy, okay? I think you need help.

Maybe we should just get the others and let's get the fuck out of here. They're

dead, Joey.

He's back. No.

And this time I'm ready for you. Get out of here.

I think you need help.

Yes.

You came back for nothing.

Where the fuck did those guys go?

Where the fuck did they go?

They're actually people without a flashlight.

Are they fucking each other downstairs?

Dude, we were just downstairs.

They're not downstairs.

Where do you think they're at?

I don't know.

I'll go look for them. You look through these fucking tapes, okay?

No, no, no. Just like that. You're going to leave me in here with this dead

fucker. Well, sorry if your vagina hurts there, sister, but... Someone's gotta do

it. Just get out the way.

Hey. Hi.

How was work?

It was fine.

One of the other girls called in sick, so I was the only one answering phones

all night.

Also, my arm's been really bothering me.

It's like I bruised it or something, but I don't remember how.

I think you can see.

There's a bump there.

Can you see?

Well...

I know I said I didn't want this, but when you're a doctor, could you just

support me and I'll just stay at home?

I guess, yeah, if you want that.

That was easy.

I mean, do you want me to make it difficult for you? Like, I don't know,

Emily, I guess you'll have to convince me.

No, really?

I mean, maybe a little convincing.

Well,

how about now?

Maybe a little more?

How about now?

Well,

now I can show you my apartment.

Yay!

I mean, I'm going to see it soon enough.

Well, fall break's not soon enough.

Um, I know.

Alright, so this...

Like, right here?

Uh, this is where I heard the footsteps.

Um, back there?

Yeah. I mean, uh, could it have been coming from upstairs?

No, I mean, I know, I mean, my neighbor always wears heels, so I know what that

sounds like.

It was weird, it was like, while it was happening, it didn't seem like it was

real, but I was awake.

And you didn't check?

Are you kidding me? No way.

I can't believe I was even, like, able to fall back to sleep.

I mean, it sounds like you were asleep.

Okay, well, next time it happens, I'll call you and you can watch me and maybe

I'll be brave enough to open the door.

Okay.

Emily?

Hello? Hey. Hey.

What's going on?

There's something at my door. Listen.

Did you hear that?

What was that?

Did you see that?

Emily, what are you doing?

I'm going to open the door with you here. No, that's stupid. Why?

No, no, this is just like before.

Hey.

My apartment's haunted. It's not haunted. I'm sure there's a reasonable

explanation. No, no. This feels really familiar.

What do you mean?

Well, remember the first time that you got transferred off the base when your

father got transferred to Fort Leonard Ward? I was like 12.

Yeah. Well, that was when things got really bad for me. And I had my big

accident, and I had to have surgery.

And it was the first time we were apart since I was really little. Mm-hmm.

It's the first time we've been apart since high school, and I just, I just...

Emily!

So,

you think you saw, are you sure you saw, like, a little kid?

I mean, I think I saw something, but it could have been anything, Emily. Like,

you know, maybe it was like a breeze or something like that.

I'll record it next time.

I need to find out if a little kid died here.

I'm going to ask my landlord.

I don't know if you should do that. I can't imagine he'd be thrilled to have

that conversation.

Yeah, well, I think he has to tell me. I think it's the law or something.

The law?

Why are you messing with your arm like that? What's wrong?

You shouldn't do that. That's not good for you.

Just stop touching it, and when I come and see you, I'll check it out, okay?

You're right.

Hey, Emily, what's going on?

I'm hearing the noise again. I'm going to go check it out.

Okay.

Do you have a weapon?

No. Should I? Yeah, I think that would be a good idea.

Be careful.

Look towards your living room.

Do you have a flashlight?

Yeah.

I didn't see anything. No.

Emily!

Emily!

Close your door!

Are you okay?

I should've talked to him. I should've- Are you alright?

Amy, were you recording that?

No, what do you mean? I just got caught up in the moment.

James!

Next time I call you in the middle of the night, please press record.

Okay.

Alright, I promise.

Will you stay up with me tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Well, that's not exactly something we want to advertise, right?

Yeah

What's that

what are you doing Emily what the fuck is that

don't do that That's an urban legend that's not real

Stop that. Don't do that, okay? That's not good for you. This is like your leg,

like seven years ago. You still have a scar from that.

Emily, what the fuck are you doing?

Well, I think if I... No, no, no, no, no. Put that away.

Seriously. Emily, look at me.

Emily.

Emily, look at me.

Okay? You need to put that away, all right? Digging around in your arm is not

going to do any more good, all right?

You just need to put some alcohol on that or iodine or something like that

and...

Put a bandage on it, all right? Because otherwise it's just going to get

infected, okay?

You know, I'll be there in a week and I'll look at it.

But for right now, just leave it alone. You're acting really crazy, all right?

Okay, okay.

Okay. I mean, can you go to the bathroom and clean that off?

Emily? Yeah. Are you there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to do some work, so let's go now. No, I know. This will

only take a minute.

What's up?

Well, he's outside my room. I can hear him. What steps?

That's really scary, Emily. What are you talking about?

Well, I just need to talk to him, and I need your help.

I mean, I'll help in any way that I can.

Great, great. Okay, so I'm going to close my eyes so he doesn't scare me.

What?

I'll talk to him. I'll find out what he wants, if he wants me to find his body

or whatever. I just, I don't want to look at him. He's a ghost. He freaks me

out. What?

Okay.

All right. Okay. Can you do that?

Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

So as soon as I open the bedroom door, I'm going to close my eyes, and then

you'll tell me what's there, okay?

All right.

Okay. Are you ready?

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

What's there?

I don't see anything. It's just your hallway.

Okay.

Anything in here?

No.

No, it's... Go in your living room.

Okay, I'm not looking.

Listen, I don't see anything, okay?

Maybe you should go back to your room.

See him?

No, I don't see anything. Maybe he's done for the night.

I'm almost disappointed.

What are you doing?

What? Emily!

What? Close your eyes.

Oh, okay.

Is he here?

Back to your left.

Emily.

You're telling me part of this thing is human?

Well, how many more times are you going to have to do this to her?

I don't know if she can survive that.

I mean, you're telling me, like, she thinks I'm in Michigan. That's far away,

okay?

And that tracking device in her arm, does that have an expiration date?

Okay, well, take care of it.

We're gonna have to make this look like an accident again.

It's fine.

We have people that can take care of it.

I'm just gonna have to break some bones.

For fuck's sake.

Hey.

How's it going?

Is the back okay?

Yeah. Yeah, the drive was fine.

Are you all right?

Uh, yeah.

Your professors aren't mad at you?

No. I haven't spoken to my advisor yet, but I'll explain it to him. He'll be

fine.

How are you?

Okay.

I went to see Dr. Aberdeen today, like I told you.

Yeah, she came very highly recommended from my colleagues. So, did things go

well?

Okay Don't

say that

well

Anyway, she's got me on some medications, um, parfenazine, and, uh, I

don't, I don't remember.

Listen, you're going to be okay.

No. I do.

You're going to be fine.

You deserve to be with someone normal.

You know, someone who doesn't have so many problems.

What if we want to have kids someday?

You know, you're the only person I've ever wanted to be with, Emily. So just

stop acting like I have a choice in the matter, all right?

I don't know what I did to deserve someone.

You're so good.

Get some rest.

Did you did you hurt it on the hike today or Maybe maybe I bumped it. I

don't know. I keep fiddling with it Well, don't do that. I'll look at it

when I get there Okay What are you

doing?

Changing into my jammies?

Yeah?

Yeah? You can keep going

Yeah. How's that?

Here, sit back a little bit.

There, yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

What were you saying?

Uh, nothing.

If I can't find any...

Fuck.

Zach!

Zach?

Zach?

You fuckers.

Zach?

Hello?

Oh, fuck!

Huh?

Did we not? We forgot.

Did you guys get the tools or do we have to pick it up? Spatulas. That's what I

was using the... I was using the styrofoam plate for. Oh, the styrofoam

plate on the grill.

That's good.

That doesn't release any kind of chemicals in the air. That's how men

cook. It's problem solving.

You're truly a man. You want the burnt one or the burnt one?

He wants the really long one.

Here we go, here we go

I'll be right down.

Come out, dude. It's going to be an awesome party.

Or not.

Come on, aren't you a bit old for this shit?

Happy Halloween!

What's up, guys?

How's it going?

Awesome. That is awesome.

You're a bear. A nanny cam. A nanny cam.

Better than a mutabomber.

Paul,

you know where we're going, right?

You want to stay on the 134 or the 134? You want to stay on the 134.

Sorry, bro.

You want to give yourself an option by being in the far right lane. I thought

we were going.

I thought we were. I'm just going to give myself the option of maybe.

It eventually will, I think, hit Spring Street.

You say it was too dark and then you just took off your sunglasses.

You're fine.

Many people are supposed to be at this party when you know.

Oh my god!

Are the girls coming out tonight?

Yeah, they'll be there. They're coming out later.

Wait, hold on. What is it? You wanna see now?

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, it starts... It's here. I thought you said it was Mariposa.

Just pick one. Mariposa or Montecito? It's one of those. Mar Vista? Yep. All

right. I'm going left. Why are all the streets M? Madison?

This doesn't make any sense. It's fine. Don't worry.

Yeah, it is bad.

Ew. Is that right on the corner?

No. Can you park here? Yeah.

It's fine.

We can come out and check on the car later, too.

Yeah.

You grab this gear? Yeah, I got it.

Sword? No sword.

Sword. Absolutely sword.

Awesome sword.

Give me a beer.

What the

hell,

dude?

Why don't you try to just walk in? Why don't you bring the doorbell?

Alright.

Where is everyone?

This is a nice place.

Maybe it's like a full round back.

Don't worry, guys. Oh, Pat there.

Is anyone else's beer warm?

Where'd it go?

It was mine.

I'm sure this is it.

Oh, the lights are on.

They were a little early.

Dustin?

Yo, Dustin!

This party fucking sucks in here.

See? It's a haunted house.

It's an empty house.

Like a really shitty one. So shitty.

Justin?

Justin.

You probably want to get a beer.

First one's through.

What was it?

Firewoods. Alright.

Alright.

Okay.

Alright, maybe not the scariest thing I've ever seen.

There's a chair.

Obviously there was a struggle. There was a struggle. Oh, wow.

Holy shit.

Oh,

another room that's locked up. Oh, shit.

Yeah.

This is pretty cool.

It's like a nautical theme in here.

Hello?

What?

What? What? What? What? What?

What happened?

What happened?

I've never seen that before. That was fucking awesome.

This is not that bad.

You hear that? Wait, wait, wait.

I already rented this castle together.

God, it's so tight.

It was like this weird video thing. I don't know. I got snorted out of it.

Hello? Hello?

Guys?

Guys?

Guys, not funny!

Fuck, dude!

Where's the fucking party, man?

I'm sorry, dude. Come on. No, dude. It fucking hurt.

Come on, dude.

I don't know.

I can't take much more of this.

I just don't want anything to jump out at me.

I'm tired.

If you think about what we're doing right now, we're walking through a

house.

Just walk. What the fuck is that noise?

How do we get upstairs?

Yeah, where the fuck is the party? I don't know.

Hey. I think I found the party.

Yes!

We can't leave.

Hold her, hold her, hold her, hold her. I got her, I got her, I got her. I got

her.

Jesus.

Get her, get her, get her.

Get her slowly. Gentle, gentle.

Go, go, go. Go, Chad, go.

What the fuck was that?

Let's just stay with this. Hey, can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

Let's just focus.

Focus and find a fucking hospital.

Keep her awake. Keep her awake.

Stay with me.

She lost the button.

Hey, would you guys calm the fuck down?

Dude,

you gotta hurry. What the fuck is wrong with the car?

Unlock the doors Chad