Original subtitles

This programme contains some strong language

COMMENTATOR: What a marvellous finish! Seb Coe gets the gold medal!

# There may be trouble ahead

# But while there's moonlight

# And music

# And love and romance

# Let's face the music and dance

# Let's face the music and dance. #

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Sarah, hi.

Yeah, no, that's fine, put him on.

Hi, how are you?

Yeah.

No, no, yeah.

Yeah. Uh-huh?

Sure. So wait, this Hoy guy, the guy with the huge legs, yeah?

They're going on about peak flow double breathing, OK? I know.

You're not solving the problem either,

you're just moving it around.

Absolutely, yes.

Obviously this is... No, I'm fine. No, er, look.

This was flagged from the outset.

Thing is, she's terrific in the water,

but out of the water she's got this nose thing going on.

Absolutely, yep, yep. No, absolutely.

Yep, yep, yep. Absolutely.

Monday morning at the Olympic Deliverance Commission in London.

Morning, Sally. Oh, hi, morning!

Good weekend? Yeah, not bad. Do anything interesting?

Er, no, not really.

I went to the gym on Friday

and thought about going out on Saturday night but didn't. Fair enough.

This is the London 2012 engine room.

Whilst others up on deck may be in the public eye,

these are the men and women whose responsibility it is

to deliver London's Olympic Games on time and on budget.

Before joining the Olympic Deliverance Commission

as Head of Deliverance,

Ian Fletcher had spells with British Nuclear Fuels

before progressing through the National Disasters Executive

to his most recent job as director of the Urban Regeneration Agency,

in which role he was largely responsible for Manchester.

Oh, thanks, Sally, brilliant.

Kay Hope just called. She's stuck in traffic. Yes, obviously.

And Seb's office called. Yes, I spoke to him.

Also, your wife phoned. I know. She said... I'm doing it, thanks.

Right. Do you want the plasters this morning? Oh, no. Sure?

Yes, no, let me, er, get, er...

Would you like a cinnamon Danish?

Oh, now, Sally... I'm going back down anyway.

What are you trying to do to me? Well, live dangerously(!)

You know me too well. Not a problem,

Right, I know Kay is delayed, but I think we should just make a start.

So if I can just gently remind everyone, phones set to off, please.

OK, so just one preliminary before we... PHONE BUZZES

Sorry, got to get this, sorry.

Ian is joined for this deliverance review group

by Head of Contracts Nick Jerrett

and head of infrastructure Graham Hitchens.

As well as by Head of Brand, Siobhan Sharpe,

from PR company Perfect Curve.

Matthew Pinsent? I don't even know who that is.

I've got to go.

OK. OK, bye. Sorry.

One preliminary before we get on to the main business.

Graham, I had a call from upstairs this morning.

I presume you've seen the Analogicus report. What?

Oh, yeah, I've seen it, yeah.

There's nothing in there we don't already know,

but the fact that it's now in the public domain...

That's fine. Suddenly everyone's talking about traffic light phasing

like it's some kind of sliced bread. OK?

It's not...it's not a surgical bullet.

A surgical...? Bullet or bread?

Basically what it is...

A report has been published which cites traffic chaos

as the most likely impediment to the smooth running of the 2012 Games.

Traffic light phasing, it's not like playing with colours.

It's like doing open heart bypass surgery,

only with the patient actually alive.

OK, basically, I'd like to get a concrete statement about our plans for that area out by Friday.

Yeah, OK. That sounds reasonable? Yeah... What, this Friday?

Yes, is that going to be OK?

Yes, fine. Good, OK.

Which brings us on to... Thanks for that, Sally.

Hellfire! Good luck with that!

Right, OK, the main item this week is obviously Friday.

It's a big week for the team. On Friday, they break through the 1,000 Days To Go hurdle.

I think what I want to say at this stage

is that 1,000 days isn't just a number.

What we're looking at here is a total game changer.

It's a chance for us to make a big, confident, public statement

about who we are, where we've got to, but also, where we're going. Yeah, cool.

So, Siobhan, in terms of practicality...

OK, thanks for that, Ian.

Um, OK, guys, here's where we ramp up the public interest in 2012

and take it to the next level. OK? Good?

And how we do that, we break open the Google juice,

we go viral, and we launch 2012, 2.0.

OK. Got a question. I'll kinda be coming to questions later.

Well, I've come to one now. OK, cool.

What are you talking about?

As of Friday morning, we're going to be launching the 2012 website. Thank you.

'Yeah, she's a bright girl, Siobhan, lot of ability,

'and OK, she's got a big job in some fancy advertising agency...'

And that's great, but if you're going at 90mph all the time

you're going to end up killing someone. Don't care who you are.

As Head of Contracts for London 2012, Nick Jerrett knows a thing or two.

'Half the people you work with at senior level are women. Over half.

'Which is great. You can't have enough women.'

I know a lot of guys are frightened by them, they find them intimidating

But I'm sorry, I'm from Yorkshire. I'm not having it.

What the hell is this? Bloody big clock. Unless that guy's that tiny.

That clock is huge. OK, that was like a joke, yeah?

The guy standing next to it is Anthony Preston, who created it.

Anthony who? So the clock's counting down to 2012. Counting backwards?

Sure, totally. We install it this week. We make a big noise,

we get Seb to wind it up and set it going Friday.

OK. And we stream the whole thing live on the website.

Fine. Well, that would be the time to get Seb to say anything we need

about how fantastic the traffic's going to be at Games time.

Graham.

What?

Yeah, fine, that's fine.

Good, OK. Fine. Well, thanks for that, Siobhan.

Guys, this is a slam dunk.

Hi. Kay, hi. Sorry, Ian, sorry, everybody. Welcome.

Bloody traffic is diabolical. Well, you're here now. Right, so.

Have I missed anything important?

You've missed the meeting now. Basically.

Hi, Anthony. Yeah. Terrific to meet you.

It's Tuesday, and Siobhan has come to Shoreditch in East London to meet artist Anthony Preston.

I wanted it to be dead simple from the outset, know what I mean?

Sure, yeah, simple's good. Didn't want any bollocks.

Sure, that's a great idea.

His specially commissioned 1,000 Day 2012 clock

is something of a departure for an artist who's probably best known up to now for gaining a reputation.

So, I'm noticing you've got a bit of a green vibe going on here. Yeah, so?

How did you get to that? It's green because it's green.

OK, that's cool. Cool? Sure.

Who's trying to be cool? Because I'm fucking not, I'll tell you that now.

OK, that's totally cool. It's a wind-up clock, for Christ's sake.

Doesn't use any energy. Oh, OK, so it's green. Congratulations.

Oh, that's terrific.

So your idea with this is that ordinary people

will just wind it up and keep it going?

If you say so. OK, I love this.

OK, so, as of now, it's set for 5pm, July 27th, 2012.

Yeah, but that will be digital. It's not finished yet.

So that's like the start of the opening ceremony for the Games.

OK, that's terrific. Um, OK. So, OK.

And once it's installed, it will go backwards 1,000 days.

No, wait, it it will go forwards. No, it won't go forwards.

Sure, no, absolutely. OK. So, OK.

So, um, when it starts, it'll... It's just basically counting down.

It's not fucking complicated. Absolutely, absolutely.

So, the thing is, OK, here's the thing, OK, so.

It's basically counting backwards?

It'll count back to the beginning of time if people go on winding it up.

Sure, OK. OK? Absolutely. 'kin 'ell!

Sure. It's totally sensational.

Well, I know I didn't, but, I mean, really...

Wait a minute! I thought you said there WAS a shower.

Yeah, well, a shower over the bath is still a shower. Ah, fuck!

8.30am, Wednesday morning, and Ian is already under pressure.

The thing is, I'm not going to have a lot of time today to look at hotels.

It's recently become clear to him that he'll have a weekend with his wife in Barcelona.

How much time are you going to be spending in the bathroom?

It is difficult with a job like this. It is all-consuming, I realise that,

and sometimes there isn't as much time as there should be for other areas of your life.

So, this idea of a weekend away, it does make a lot of sense,

and there's no way of getting round that.

And are you looking forward to it?

It's subsequently been rebranded as a romantic mini-break.

Which is obviously a lot more complicated.

Morning, Sally. Oh, morning. Hi, how are you? Good, not bad, thank you.

Good. So, Boris's office called. Oh, yes? What did they want?

He's wondering why he hasn't been involved in the 1,000 Day day thing on Friday.

Oh, God, no. I've told them Seb's doing it,

but that seemed to make it worse. I thought we might have escaped. Seb'll go nuts.

And also a your wife rang. Yes, I know, thanks. Sure.

How's it going? So far, so good. Good.

Graham Hitchens is monitoring a trial of some upgraded traffic-light-phasing software,

designed to improve traffic flows across London in time for 2012.

It's like flying an aeroplane.

You get this right, no-one notices. Get it wrong...

Everyone notices. Yeah, first they notice, then they die.

So how do we make sure that, you know, they don't die?

Well, first you test it, OK?

Then you test it again, and when you've done that, you test it again.

And then once you've finished all of that, you test it again.

Basically, a lot of testing, then? Yeah, I mean, what you're doing, OK,

you'll gradually design failure out of the system.

So, after you've done all the testing, the aircraft, simply, it can't crash?

Yeah, I mean, if it does crash after all of that, to be honest,

you really are seriously fucked.

We're still good for something positive to give Seb on Friday? PHONE RINGS

Yeah, no worries. This Friday? Yes. Yeah, that's fine.

Hi. No, no, that's fine. Put him through.

Hello! Good morning, how are you?

As on most mornings, Ian has had a call from Boris Johnson's office.

And per ardua ad astra, yes. Exactly, yes, yes.

No, absolutely.

I got the message earlier. That's terrific news.

He's called to point out he's free to take part in Friday's 1,000 Day Day day.

Fantastic for us. Yes, yes, no, brilliant. Absolutely.

No, no, absolutely.

It's actually a very flexible space,

easily convertible into a sort of multi-ethnic indoor skateboarding experience, for instance. Yeah.

Head of Sustainability Kay Hope

has come to St Mary's Youth Group in Stoke Newington

to meet group leader Shaquille Johnson.

We've already got a skateboarding park in the park. Right.

But if we got a pitch, like a five-a-side pitch, AstroTurf,

then maybe we could do something. There will be the hockey arena,

but that'll be part of Urban Duck World after the Games. God, you're killing me.

It's part of her mission to find a sustainable use

for the Tae Kwon Do Arena, post-2012.

It'll take us a couple of hours to get there, and by then,

we're not going to have time for any other shit, you know?

So, thank you, and I kinda like you,

but this is some mad shit. Right. You know what I'm saying?

Of course, but you will think about it, though? I've just done that.

That's what I've just done? Yes.

Bruce Forsyth, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Stephen Hawking, Joanna Lumley,

Stephen Fry - obviously -

either Prince Harry or Prince William or Trinny or Susannah,

we're looking at the combination...

Back at the Olympic Deliverance Commission, Head of Brands Siobhan Sharpe

has arrived with a list of potential Olympic torch bearers

which her team of creatives at Perfect Curve have thrown up.

Sir Trevor McDonald, obviously, Lord Alan Sugar, if he'd do it, Gok Wan.

Wait, wait, hang on a minute. Bruce Forsyth?

We love Bruce. Well, yes, but...

Keep dancin'! You're not serious?

These are our national heroes?

You're getting the go-to list. Gok Wan?

With Sebastian Coe keen to include an announcement about torch bearers

as part of 1,000 Day day, pressure is on.

But deciding on a list of names that adequately reflect

what Britain is today is no easy task.

Someone with a bit more gravitas. Like Michael Palin, or...

Yeah, he's actually dead. No, he's not. Michael Palin is not dead.

You're telling me. He's from Sheffield.

Sorry. Hi, Kay, come on in. Had to go to Stoke Newington.

Yes, of course. Traffic's absolutely...

Well, luckily, Graham's on top of that, aren't you?

Yeah, basically, the worse it gets, the more we're learning about why that is.

As the meeting continues, Ian is keen to steer the level of conversation upwards.

What about JK Rowling? OK.

Well, that's a bit more...

We've kind of got Joanna Lumley, so we're sort of covered there.

OK, right.

Carol Ann Duffy. Ah, now, right.

Yeah, no, we did talk about Duffy. She's cool.

Kay's talking about Carol Ann Duffy. She'd look great with a torch.

Want Carol as well? No, no. Carol's the mum, right?

Carol Ann Duffy is the Poet Laureate. Thank you, Ian.

Yeah, OK, anyway.

Who's that guy with the hair and glasses?

This is ridiculous. Erm, er, it'll come to me in a minute.

All we're after are some national figures who have earned respect

because of who they are as people.

People who make you feel proud to be British. That's all. So come on, surely.

Got it! Gok Wan.

Thank you very much. Gok Wan!

What?

Do we actually need to book anything anyway?

With one meeting over,

there are already other issues waiting to be dealt with.

I thought we might drop our bags at the hotel, just wander out,

have a drink, find a little tapas bar somewhere and see how we...

No, OK, fine. Yeah, OK. Bye.

Right, good. Good grief, Sally, that's enormous!

Do you like avocado? Yes, I love avocado. It's nice, isn't it?

I really ought to make my own sandwich. Not a problem.

It'll be terrific for circus girls in the whole of the Lea Valley.

Of course, yes, I understand that. Would you think about it, though?

OK, well, I'll call you again tomorrow then.

I'll call you anyway.

OK. Bye.

Is that the tae kwon do arena?

Yes, that was actually the guy who runs Rudolpho's Travelling Circus.

I don't know whether you know them.

Rudolpho's, Rudolpho's...

I've fixed up a meeting to discuss a permanent home.

A permanent home for a travelling circus?

He wasn't giving anything away.

No, I bet he wasn't.

It's an uphill battle, but we'll get there.

We're close with the National Indoor Donkey Sanctuary people. Shame they got cold feet.

Presumably you tried the tae kwon do people? Er, pardon?

I'm sure there's a British Tae Kwon Do Association.

So, in terms of use for the tae kwon do arena post-games,

I would think a tae kwon do arena would tick quite a lot of boxes. Mmm.

Yes.

Sally, I really think you should stop there.

OK, sure. Not a problem.

From a sustainability point of view,

the Olympics isn't really about sport at all.

This whole thing starts when the sport ends.

Presumably sustainability is very closely connected to legacy.

Beg your pardon? It is not. They are not the same. They are not.

Sustainability is about using the Games as a catalyst for change.

It's about improving life in the East End of London

and encouraging new ways of life across the whole of the UK

that take into account not just our debt to the past, but also to the future. Right.

Whereas legacy is totally different. Yes.

Yes, I see.

Yeah, yeah.

I think I did say... Absolutely. That would be a disaster.

If we give Boris some scissors to play with,

and the tape to cut, that should keep him happy.

Meanwhile, Ian has decided to go across town to pay a visit to PR company, Perfect Curve.

That's what I'm saying. I don't know who he is.

OK, this is Barney. Hey. Hi.

With 1,000 Day day now only a day away, he's keen to see

how preparations for the 2012 website relaunch are going.

How's it going, Barn? Pretty cool.

There's a couple of things taking longer than we'd like, but that's normal.

OK, so this is, like, Ian.

He's, kinda like, he's the head of everything, so...

I am, head of delivery.

Barney Lumsden is head of Siobhan Sharpe's online team.

When it's finished, we are going to have, like, text here,

bloggy stuff here, you've got your webcam here,

RSS, Twitter feeds here, videos here... Say about the clock?

Yeah, that's cool.

Uh, we've got, like, a live webcam situation going on here.

We've been looking at ways to create a sense of urgency

at the centre of the relaunch, kind of like a ticking clock.

And it was Barney that came up with the idea of the clock. Right.

So from Friday onwards... Tomorrow?

From Friday onwards, anyone who visits the 2012 website

will see a live webcam image of the clock counting backwards towards the opening ceremony.

..To the start of the opening ceremony.

And what we're trying to say is, it's kind of like a dynamic thing.

Um, it's constantly in motion, but also

what we're saying is launch sequence is commenced.

What's the matter? What's with the face?

The clock. OK, yeah, the clock is sensational.

I'm sure it is. But how does it work, exactly?

OK, OK. Um, OK, so, the thing with the clock is, OK,

um, so here's the thing with the clock.

Um, the great thing about the clock is it's counting backwards.

Backwards in time or backwards in numbers?

Sure. Either. I mean both. Right. Absolutely. It's sensational.

It's pretty cool. Can we have a word?

Totally, yeah. By the way, whilst I'm here...

It's probably just me but, this, Olyp...Olypmic? Is that some kind of?

Yeah, no, that's just like, you know, spelling.

Oh, right. Yeah, we can change that whenever you want.

Yeah, we can change that. Good.

You want me to actually... Well, why not?

There. That better?

Well, I mean, it's different. It's cool.

Give us two minutes. Yeah, sure. Bye!

Hang loose.

First of all, OK, what is it with that guy?

What is it with him? Is he a close friend of yours, or?

Barney's totally plugged in. He's an idiot.

Ian is concerned some of Siobhan's preparations for tomorrow may not be fully there.

Our online presence is a key part of who we are.

It's virtually our virtual front door.

It's virtually off its hinges. Here's the thing, OK?

The thing is, here, OK? OK, here's the thing. So, the thing is...

Forgive me if I haven't got time for the usual pleasantries,

but get that guy some new glasses, get him some new hair, get a new guy, whatever,

but this needs to be sorted by the morning, OK?

OK, no, I'm totally good with that.

With the clock, I need a clear, unambiguous explanation of how it works.

Something even Boris can grasp. OK.

Because right now, I'm really struggling to understand it. Absolutely. Cool.

SIRENS

Kentish Town Road. Hornsey Rise...

Meanwhile, Graham Hitchens is burning the midnight oil.

The new traffic-light-phasing trial has been live for 48 hours and is reaching a crucial stage.

That's quite interesting.

It's resulted in traffic flows being significantly slower.

Slower? I know, it's mad.

But I think it's because

we've been trialling it in too small an area.

I mean, you're talking about a system capable of making six billion decisions a second.

God, that's very...

Yes, so now what we're going to do is, we're going to trial it in a much bigger area, OK?

So, like, the whole north and north east London.

Right. Is that wise?

Yeah, it is.

SIRENS AND HORNS BLARE

Inevitably, it's Friday.

Where is he at this present time? He's still there? No way! No way!

But with people gathering outside London's Tate Modern for the official commissioning

of Andrew Preston's 1,000 Day clock and the start of the final countdown to London 2012,

so far, there's no sign of either Sebastian Coe or Boris Johnson.

He's been stuck there for, like, an hour.

This is just, like, somebody somewhere just hit pause, you know?

OK, then, I'll meet you at the airport. I'll meet you there.

No, I won't - there's one every 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, Ian's own final countdown to Barcelona is also now under way.

Laura, the flight's not until 6:55pm. I won't, Laura.

On this one occasion I won't be useless, OK?

So the latest is that Seb is still in the Rotherhithe Tunnel. Great.

Also the Central line is down because of improvement works.

What about Boris? Sure. Isn't he on his bike?

Boris is under police protection.

Right, do you want to explain that, or...? Sure.

Um, Boris was threatened by a bunch of cabbies.

Um, because they were angry about the traffic chaos.

Brilliant, brilliant(!) OK, so, here's the thing.

What we're maybe looking at is delaying... We can't.

The whole point is... Could you take those off? Sure.

It has to be counting down precisely to the start of the opening ceremony.

That's the whole point of today. OK, OK, so what we do.

OK, here's the thing, OK, so he's up for that. OK, now you're babbling.

Sure. So, the clock...

With both his star speakers now apparently involved

in Graham Hitchens' new traffic-light-phasing trial,

Ian knows he's running out of time.

Even if it's not clear which way time is going.

So, um, here's the thing, here's where we're at with this.

The clock is going to be counting down 1,000 days backwards to 2012.

Or backwards from 2012? Exactly. Well, there's a difference, Siobhan.

If you want to be... This is quite a key... It's one or two...

No, no, it's not, Siobhan! Get over it!

Right. I'll ask him.

OK. Anthony, he's a brilliant guy. I don't care.

Hi, Anthony! This is Ian Fletcher, head of deliverance for 2012. OK, so?

Ian, this is Anthony Preston.

Ian is about to be reminded that the artist isn't always

the best person to ask to explain his own creation in actual words.

I need to double check how... It's come in backwards. Totally.

So tomorrow, unless I've got this wrong,

It's going to be reading 26th July, 2012?

Totally. The day before the Olympics. Absolutely.

What is it with you guys? So in 1,000 days' time.

It's not fucking complicated! Good. So in 1,000 days' time...

Fucking hell. OK, so in 1,000 days, it'll be...

He's doing my fucking head in. Everything's totally cool.

So, basically, just to be clear about this,

am I right in thinking that at the start of the Olympics in 2012,

this clock will be reading, well, it'll be now, it'll be today?

Totally, yeah, totally.

Sure, yeah, that's cool. Absolutely cool.

Oh, he's gone. Great(!)

We're very excited to be working with Anthony Preston.

Having succeeded in clarifying the clock's unique design concept,

Ian is now faced with explaining it to the waiting press.

Why is it counting the wrong way? It isn't.

Surely it should count towards the Games, not back away from them. No.

If you want my personal take, the clock is a powerful

and, at the same time, playful comment on time itself.

After all, every year we put the clocks forward,

but time goes back.

For now, as we stand here today,

the clock points us towards our destination.

When we arrive, it will remind us of this day,

and of the journey we've all taken.

But with still no sign of either Sebastian Coe or Boris Johnson,

Ian has reached the point where he has to make a decision.

'I don't know who said it's when all the wheels come off at once

'you find out who you really are.

'It's all very well as an expression,

'but when that happens,

'you often find out that you're the driver.'

Still, handbrake off.

Having dealt with one problem, he is now faced with an even bigger one.

OK, ladies and gentlemen, I think we'll...

How to formally introduce the commissioning of the 1,000 Day clock

when neither of the people due to perform that task have made it to the ceremony.

As you know, London 2012 is very much the people's Games, which is why,

I'm pleased to be able to announce formally today that Peter Andre

has agreed to be our principal torch bearer for London 2012.

Woo! Yay!

SHE CLAPS

I think it would only be appropriate

and very much in line with the essence of London 2012

to invite a member of the public to perform the honour of winding up

and starting Anthony Preston's magnificent 1,000 Day clock.

So, Siobhan, if you'd like to perhaps, get that process under way?

Finding a member of the public to wind up...

Um, excuse, me, my name's Siobhan Sharpe. Would you come and, no? OK.

Hey there, hello! My name's Siobhan Sharpe.

Ian has succeeded in turning a potential disaster into a triumph.

This is Sadie, who's 65, from Surrey,

she's a member of the public, an ordinary normal...

OK, just wind it round. That's it.

This is Andrew Preston, our artist. Anthony.

Great, if you'd like to turn round, and if you turn round...

Could we come to the front of the clock?

It's becoming clear to him

that if he's going to be on the flight to Barcelona,

he needs to leave for Liverpool Street Station before it's too late to get there.

Just get in the middle please, thanks. OK. OK?

HORNS BLARE

Laura, I'm doing my best.

No, we're moving again now, we're flying along.

I'll be with you in no time.

But there are some things that even head of deliverance for London 2012 can't control.

And traffic light phasing turns out to be one of them.

So what happens if she gets on the plane and you don't make it?

Well, let's not count our chickens. No. No, so it's all good.

# There may be trouble ahead

# But while there's moonlight and music, and love and romance... #

My name's Siobhan Sharpe, I'm head of brand for London 2012.

And I'll be your tour guide today.

I have no idea where this guy's going.

Let's assume he knows. Fine.

I'm not interested in how this happened,

I'm interested in getting to the Olympic Park by 11:45 at the latest.

If you get away a bit earlier.

When you say early...

Whoa, whoa! OK.

What we don't want to do is end up going through the Blackwall Tunnel, OK?

So where are we up to? Right. Yeah.

No, no! Not the M11! We'll end up at bloody Stansted airport.

Keep him there for ten more minutes, OK?

Um, if you... So, we'll basically...

Actually, what roundabout is this?

# There may be teardrops to shed

# So while there's moonlight and music, and love and romance

# Let's face the music and dance

# Let's face the music

# And dance!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd