Original subtitles

This programme contains strong language

What would you do if civilisation came to an end?

Hello?

In a radical experiment...

Is anybody there?

...two groups of ordinary men and women...

I can't believe that we're doing this.

...are attempting to survive for 28 days

in an abandoned American town used

to train the military in urban warfare.

Good morning, Vietnam.

How will they cope in a battle for scarce resources?

It's been ransacked.

Oh, my God.

That's war.

They're coming up the wall!

Are you OK?

Can they rebuild society from scratch...

No light, no food, no phone, no nothing.

That's it. We're desperate.

...and make it through the apocalypse?

Hello? Help!

Hello?

You're who, sorry?

Bernie.

And where will you be residing?

Hopefully here.

Guys, can we have a little chat?

There's not a single reason in this.

Hold on, hold on. Can I just count? Count?

Hold on. This is insane.

The whole guy-girl divide...

There is no guy-girl divide.

The family was like this.

Now we're creating a divide over BLEEP cereal.

We go off in harmony. Peace. And then it's done.

There's no more goat gate. There's no nothing.

Done. Peace. Good.

Come on.

East Side, East Side, East Side, East Side!

We are heading to the abandoned hospital to play

a game of hide and seek with the East Side at night time.

You go in there, all the shit's still there.

It's like they just turned off the lights and went out.

I think I saw fresh blood there the other night.

Oh, God. I'm already terrified.

East and West may have struck a peace deal.

But after weeks of war, it's an uneasy truce.

As a bonding exercise, Freddy and Dean have had the idea

of playing hide and seek in the old abandoned hospital.

Hello?

I've got two pairs of trousers on in case I poop myself.

Yeah, I'm gonna shit myself, believe me.

Right. Rules of engagement. I'm seeking first.

All four floors are in play. Yeah.

Morgue to the top.

Oh, no. Are we all absolutely bricking ourselves?

Absolutely. Yeah, good, right.

It's going to be like the Bristolian Blair Witch Project, isn't it?

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Oh, my God.

I've got the morgue.

Shh.

I hear that this place is really haunted.

A lot of the people

who've gone upstairs have said that they've heard things.

Shh. Shh-shh.

Ready or not, here I come.

Like, this is literally my worst nightmare.

Oh, BLEEP. I hate this already.

There's something about the dark

that just gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Oh! Argh!

Going out onto the farm in the dark...

That switch just flicks

in your brain and you're like, "What the BLEEP ?"

Animals make noises.

What the BLEEP was that noise?

Sheep cough exactly like a human and it's absolutely terrifying.

I'm good at looking after animals!

Just not in the dark.

I'd requested to be the seeker

because I thought, "Oh, I'll have a light.

"It'll be fine."

But then I forgot that I have

to check every single room

in that stupid hospital, including the morgue.

I know you're in here!

Argh!

I can't get out. I'm locked in!

Let me out!

Let me out!

What the BLEEP?

Right! Who the BLEEP closed that door on me?

The game is finished!

Ioan's escape brings an early end to proceedings.

That morgue is awful.

And I got locked in a room.

Oh, Lord. That was so much fun.

Does anyone know where Steven is?

Steven!

Have I won, have I won, have I won, I won.

I won! Did I win?

I won! Yes!

Let's get out of here.

It was... What a fun, fun evening. Yeah.

Great idea. Thank you, Dean and Ioan.

Absolutely buzzing

to spend that time with the West Side group.

To think that we were at war with them

a couple of weeks ago seems so bizarre.

We're all in a completely different place now.

See you later, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye, guys.

As team bonding with East and West Side,

ten out of ten activity.

For my arsehole - zero out of ten.

After 21 days, overnight temperatures

for the survivors have dropped to minus seven.

It got cold last night. I did the fire twice.

I am bored of being hungry.

For the East Siders,

energy levels are also plummeting from lack of food.

Shall we cook up the Play-Doh? Yes.

Yeah. Why? Eat it. You can't eat it.

Has it got any nutritional value?

It's just flour, water and salt and food dye.

I prefer it raw. Eat Play-Doh? That's mad.

So we found some Play-Doh.

And as we're not going to use it to play with it,

you know, food is food.

So we may as well give it a try.

Says contains wheat.

It doesn't say, "Do not eat."

Try it.

We have gone absolutely crazy.

Everyone's going, "I'm not going to say no to food."

That's not food.

That's a children's game.

We're tired. We're hungry.

We need to just keep going.

Super fucking hungry now.

I think everyone is.

To distract them from their food cravings,

Alix takes Steven and Bertie for an invigorating dip in the lake.

Oh, this is going to be cold.

Oh! Come on, Steven.

You can do this.

Just breathe through it.

Deep breaths.

Breathe in deeply.

Exhale completely.

Keep breathing.

Ooh, nudity!

Doo-doo-doo!

It's a nice little bum, Bertie.

Pertie Bertie!

Keep breathing.

Love a bit of nudity.

Doesn't bother me.

The barer the better.

I want to do hot chocolates now. All right.

Over at the West Side,

the larder is full

and they've been eating well for days.

I don't even really like Hershey chocolate,

but I've been waiting from like day two or three to open this up.

And today's the...

Today's the day!

That actually does smell pretty good.

Ooh, nice.

Oh, my God, that is so good.

Absolutely unbelievable.

With the East Siders' food supplies dwindling,

cattle farmer Scott is forced

to deliver on his idea for an unusual meal.

I'm making a Play-Doh shortbread, basically.

Yummy. Yummy. Like a coloured poppadom.

He thinks he's making pancakes.

See?

Don't even care what it tastes like.

I'm just ready to eat, man.

It smells good. It's got heat.

I think it's cooking.

I just don't know what the end result is meant to be.

Soft or hard?

Yeah, I got a blue one. Woo!

Salty as hell.

That's salty.

That's fucking disgusting.

It's actually not nice.

That is vile.

I don't want the Play-Doh.

Who wants this? Who wants this?

Who wants this? Scott, do you want it?

I've got like, five in here.

RETCHING

Oh, my God, that tastes like shit.

The Play-Doh is pretty horrible.

But it's food.

No, it's not.

Maybe not.

Scott ate five.

He'll be pooping out a rainbow.

Vile.

That food last night was shocking.

It was the worst thing I've ever eaten in my life.

I would love some food right now.

West Siders have got loads of food. It's going to piss me off.

I think it would be good

for a couple of us to go down there and spend time over there,

like a recon mission.

Trying to find out different things.

It's a great way for us to get

in there and see exactly what they have.

Steven's hatched a plan to spy on

the West under the guise of friendship,

with an exchange of two of the West Siders coming to the East.

So are you suggesting that you want to go and stay with the West?

Yeah, I will. On your own, or do you want to go with someone?

I think we should go. Me and Kiera.

Growing up, because there were so many of us, it was carnage.

I learned to fight, lie a little bit now and then.

Now I can lie until I'm blue in the face.

You don't have seven siblings and not get good at that.

I don't mind you going down there,

but I'm trying to protect the family unit from invading people,

finding ways in to loot.

Look, I'm not too fond about having new people in here.

Got to be careful of them.

Even if there is a truce, like, they stole from us.

So we can't presume that they're all good

or a couple of them are good.

We definitely have to have our wits about us.

If someone wants to come in and try something, hmm...

Yeah. I'll be kicking their arse.

They'll be out the door real quick.

We don't know what they have.

So I guess it'd be like a huge mission.

So I think this would be really good.

Let's just do it for like,

one or two nights and we'll just see how it is.

I think that, particularly as a psychologist,

I've learnt so much more about the psyche

of people and understand why they might do or say things,

and I can kind of use it to my advantage.

My tyre went flat recently.

My dad's in Melbourne and I'm in Sydney,

and I booked him flights to come

to Sydney to change my tyre for me so that I didn't have to.

I'm his baby, so I think it's OK.

I just want to get in there and see what it's like.

We could learn a lot. Yeah, I agree.

They might say, "No, that's not something we want to do",

but why not pitch it?

I'll never trust them. There's a select few in that group

that they are not welcome anywhere near this place.

Ooh. Holy shit, it's cold.

I can't feel my face.

What are we putting ourselves through? I don't know.

Psychologist Kiera and content creator Steven

are on an intel mission,

leaving their East Side school base and heading to the West Side laundry

to find out where they're getting their food.

Have you got a knife? Do you want to skin the rabbit? All right.

HE WHISTLES - Oh, look at that. - Yeehaw.

I think our food is ten times better than theirs.

I've never eaten rabbit. What does it taste...? Is it good?

It's better than goat.

Hello!

Visitors.

Steven and Kiera.

Now, that's suspicious.

Do we need to bang on the door?

Howdy. Bonjour.

Hello. We wanted to have a little chat. Oh, yeah? A chat about what?

What's happening? We want to come live with you? Will you take us in?

I put to the group this morning,

why don't us two stay here for two days,

two of you go to the East Side for two days?

Do you want to have a little chat about it.

Do you want us to stand away? Yeah, we'll have a little chat.

Is there anyone that wants to put their hand up,

or do we want to pick? Yeah, I'll do it.

Maybe we could send Deano as a bit of a dick swing of,

"This is our chef." Actually, that's a good idea.

Do a bit of investigating. Find out what's going on.

Go there and use their food... Show off our...

...and go, "Oh, you've been having this for dinner?

"Well, we've been having this."

You were cold last night and they've got it warmer,

so I think... OK.

Me and Bernie? Yeah.

Having volunteered for the exchange with the East,

chef Dean and retired civil servant Bernie are heading to the school.

Are we guests or are we workers? That's... I don't know.

We'll have to see how they treat us... We'll see.

...when we get up there.

I think people see me as someone that

does not care about the consequences.

I think that's pretty accurate. I've got no filter.

I like to say things straight off the bat

and think about the consequences after.

There's been situations where I've called people out on the spot

and it's gone down not so great,

but sometimes these people need to be told,

otherwise it might turn into a little war.

It's surreal. Honestly, my heart is pumping.

It's just so exciting.

Oh, I feel nervous.

This has been enemy territory, this has been North Korea,

and I'm staying here tonight.

Oh, my God... Oh, here...

Hello! Welcome to my crib.

Ah! Come on in. Lovely to see you, Louise. And you, mate.

Before this, I would never have expected

that they'd be in our house.

Dean originally robbed us when we all first met.

But, yeah, let's just see how he gets on.

Very posh. You've got beds?! Yeah.

Proper beds?! Yeah.

Oh, my God. And how warm is it in here? Yeah, take the coat off.

Oh, my God. I can get into my bra and knickers now, can I?

Fucking hell.

Dean - a bit of a wild card.

I'll keep my wits about me, but we'll just see how this works.

Do you think they'll miss you back down there?

No, they should be right. They'll miss your cooking? Yeah.

They've got Celia taking over, so she's going to have some fun

with it for a couple of days. We've still got chickens.

They've got loads of food now. We're just using the last of the goat.

Yeah. Two chickens, two rabbits. Mm.

They've still got the goat. Mm.

They've got six or eight eggs. Yeah. They've got a load of tinned food.

We made hot chocolates this morning. We had hot chocolate this morning.

Yeah, I can be quite manipulative. I can be mean.

I can pick at things. I don't have to do it, but like, you know,

when you just know what makes someone boil over

and then you feel like you've got the power

to just put that little bit in and see what happens.

We had lunch for the first time the other day, then dinner.

Fucking hell. Oh, yeah.

There is tension.

No promises on thieving, though.

I'm fucking fuming about it.

So-called truce with the other clan, whatever you want to call them.

I'm very undecided on it. I...

...don't trust Dean.

You're doing dinner tonight.

I'll get the ingredients that you've got to work with.

Scott decides to challenge Dean to cook up the dregs

of the East Side's pantry.

- - Beans. - Yeah. - Easy. LAUGHTER

Pig trotters.

You've got three cans of cat food.

A proper ensemble of shit, basically,

for Dean to make some sort of concoction.

My God, it sounds absolutely awful.

We could be making crackling. Oh!

What is that? We're going to make crackling.

Oh, wow. Bertie, I can't cope!

We're going to have pink crackling chips. You shut the front door.

I'm super excited to see what he pulls out of his arse.

It would be really funny if it's actually really shit.

HE LAUGHS

This is going to be absolutely dirty, isn't it? Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, my God, it's amazing. Oh, my God, it's amazing!

The crackling is something else, man.

I could eat a whole bowl of crackling.

Yeah, it's all right. Random, eh? That's so nice.

I'm eating cat food in the apocalypse. Yeah.

Cat food tastes delicious. It's my favourite bit.

Meow! Meow!

I enjoyed watching Dean...

...essentially polishing a turd and rolling it in glitter,

so thank you for that.

I think maybe Scott might have been a bit shocked

with what he managed to do with it, but they did play nicely together,

which was nice, because I can't be arsed with any more arguments

between the two sides, I really can't.

I reckon you made that taste pretty good.

Yeah, Dean was enemy number one and we were so suspicious of him,

and we would have tried to probably burn him at the stake,

so to go from all that

to getting him to cook for us and actually cook a lovely meal...

...is a good win for humanity.

If we start meowing in our sleep!

LAUGHTER

Across town, visitors Steven and Kiera are planning to get intel

on the West Siders' food supplies.

Is there anything you guys want to do when you're down here,

like, particularly, that... We just want to get to know you, I think.

Do what you do in the day.

We've just been doing the same way of living for the last three weeks.

We're, like, let's see how you guys live. Yeah.

Maybe take some things that you guys do, take it back to our group.

You know something we don't. LAUGHTER

I've got to use my psychology skills to just suss them out,

analyse them and their body language and...

You know, on face value, they seemed really friendly and very charming,

but there's no way that I'm just letting my guards down.

I saw that there's, like, three pots of meat...

I personally think everyone's been a little bit too nice,

a little bit too naive.

You can't trust no-one, no matter what's going on.

I think them down here have had quite a bit of protein. Yeah.

I also think there was another goat. I think there was two goats.

I literally think they've had meat every night.

Cos they had sardines, they had our spam.

KIERA LAUGHS

Ooh, wow.

With Dean over at the East Side,

local politician Celia takes over cooking duties, serving up goat.

The West Side have way better food than we do.

I heard that Celia can really cook up a storm.

Ooh! CELIA LAUGHS

Mm! Mm!

That tastes so fucking good. Oh, my God!

I'm so happy Dean is not here.

I'm glad I'm in charge now and I'm going to cook so much food.

SHE LAUGHS

They will be pissed off.

That looks phenomenal. Oh, my God.

I feel bad I ever doubted the West Side now.

I feel like, slowly but surely, I'm becoming one of them.

Oh, here we've got some goat for you.

Lunch lady's here. Yes!

Ooh-eeh!

The huge thank you to the chef, Celia...

APPLAUSE ...for this food.

Thank you so much, Celia. Everyone dig in.

It's the simple things.

Whatever Celia was doing with that food, I want it every fucking day.

I'm actually so glad that over the past couple of days,

we've just sort of started coming together.

This whole time we've been surviving, fighting for shit...

Literally. ..because there's been a fight for a finite resource, right?

Everything. And there's been constant tension.

So I think our groups should really collaborate hard. I agree.

Let's go around and tell everyone something

that we haven't told anyone. Oh, God. OK.

I used to be a dancer. What kind of dancer?

Yeah, I used to do hens parties and that sort of jazz. Stripper.

OK!

I shit myself at my brother's wedding.

Oh, Lord, OK!

LAUGHTER

Oh, God, I've said terrible things about this man

and he's actually really lovely,

and why we have been feuding for so long, I do not know.

I went on a date with a French girl that didn't speak any English,

and I don't speak any French either, and I asked my incredibly

good-looking French mate to translate a date for me.

Freddie is so different to what we thought.

He's actually very sweet.

I think we felt very comfortable with each other.

There was a lot of eye contact, flirtations.

That little bit of something.

It was the three of us and we sat down and I go, "Hi. How are you?",

and he was like, "Bonjour. Ca va?"

She's like, "Oui."

And he ended up shagging her the next day.

LAUGHTER

Wow. That is mad.

I think it's quite easy to get a initial misconception of me,

probably from the way that I sound.

There's more than meets the eye.

I worked out in central India tracking tigers,

which was quite exciting.

I say tracking tigers, I used to just follow one of the guides

that actually knew what he was doing.

Whenever he'd pull over, I'd pull over as well.

HE LAUGHS

I've come down here to, like, try and see what they've got.

Everyone's been super lovely, super nice to me and Keira,

wanting to get to know us. I'm annoyed at myself

for allowing to have a little bit of a grudge for too long,

because we could have been having things like this all along.

WOLF HOWLS

OWL HOOTS

SNORING

What are we doing, Dean?

I have a feeling they haven't explored this entire place just yet.

DEAN CHUCKLES

It says "shelter".

I'll have a look.

Oh, fuck off.

HE LAUGHS

What the fuck am I going to do?

We're supposed to be at peace.

I'm just a thieving piece of shit.

HE LAUGHS

LOUD FART

For visiting West Siders Dean and Bernie,

a meagre breakfast of dry crackers and honey awaits.

It's taking its toll on me.

This is the first time I've kind of felt hungry.

Down in the West Wing, we've been having a lot of protein,

and I definitely can feel my stomach a bit more humbly.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, sure. Thank you.

I'm pretty good at keeping a straight face and a secret.

It's pretty funny knowing that literally downstairs is, like...

...probably the key to all their problems.

It might come off a little evil right now, but it's necessary.

Breakfast is served, guys.

Over on the West Side, Celia has prepared a breakfast

of roasted vegetables seasoned with Cajun spice.

Oh, my God, they're like chips! Wow-wee.

Ooh, look at those burnt ones. Yeah.

Thank you.

Party in my mouth. That's incredible.

We're never leaving.

I didn't anticipate, like, just how much food

can change your day

from having a bad day to a good day.

I have a full belly,

I am full of energy

and it makes me feel so happy.

I'm living my best life.

♪ Oh, happy day... ♪

♪ Oh, happy day!

♪ Oh, happy day... ♪

Oh, my God! Hey!

♪ When Jesus washed

♪ When Jesus washed

♪ When Jesus washed

♪ When Jesus washed He washed my sins away

♪ La-la-la-la-la

♪ La-la-la-la-la

♪ La-la-la

♪ La-la-la

♪ He taught me how... He taught me how... ♪

THEY SHRIEK EXCITEDLY

THUDDING

After last night's goat feast,

Freddie and Kiera have formed an unlikely bond.

Freddie has always been a caricature, in our eyes.

We thought of him as a king,

and the rest of the West Siders were his peasants,

and people would bring pheasants to him.

So very wrong impression.

My mind has been absolutely changed.

So, I was wondering...

Hmm?

Why am I nervous?

You're nervous. You shouldn't be nervous.

I'm nervous. Sure.

Are you asking me on a date, Freddie?

KIERA CHUCKLES

OK? OK. All right.

Ooh.

A secret date. Oh, my God.

Forbidden love. Like Romeo and Juliet.

Oh, stop it.

Not that I'm running away with it or anything.

OK. We can go just before sunset.

OK, let's do it.

Kiera is a lot of fun,

which is super refreshing to have that different energy in the house.

She's got the gazing eyes as well.

I'm going to get the bow and pretend I'm going to go hunting.

You can figure something out. I'll figure something out.

You're a bad influence now. FREDDIE CHUCKLES

I'm not a bad... Yeah, I'm a bad influence, fine.

You're a bad influence.

Righto, kids, we're going to take you home.

Thank you for all your hospitality.

You've all been absolutely amazing.

Aw, give us a squidge, love.

Ta-ra. Oh, it's been lovely to have you.

I'm really glad that we've built bridges with the West Side now.

I mean, I always knew Bernie was lovely,

but obviously our initial impression of Dean wasn't exactly great

because of all the thieving.

Bye, guys.

Whoa. Bye, guys. Miss you already.

Bye. Bye.

Does someone want to pat me down first before I go?

We trust you. THEY CHUCKLE

Nah, you're good. I trust you, I trust you. See ya.

This face is a curse, you know.

I've charmed the fuck out of them.

DEAN CHUCKLES

Bye! Bye!

The shelter is a trump card I'm gonna keep in my back pocket.

Who knows what's gonna happen tomorrow?

Came back in style. We got an Uber. How are you?

- Welcome back. - Aw. THEY CHUCKLE

How have you been?

Oh, it's like being in a five star hotel.

Really? It's absolutely roasting.

You're going to be cold here today. I know.

It is freezing cold. I know.

I had to boil the water to start washing the plate

because everything is frozen. Yeah.

I've known you for just over three weeks now...

...and what I've learned is that I can read you like a fucking book.

Freddie is grilling best friend Dean

on his stay with the East Siders.

Yes?

Yes?

Don't say it. Two words.

Phwoar! No!

This is true.

This is true.

Yeah.

I'm a rule breaker.

I think my issue with authority

comes from when I was at school,

which was a boarding school,

which you had quite a lot of supervision at.

You know, teachers around

and you had to be well-behaved and all the rest of it...

...which I struggled with a little bit.

I get quite frustrated being told what to do.

In fact, I hate being told what to do.

I don't take much seriously.

BOTH CHUCKLE QUIETLY

Yes. Yes?

That's fine.

This is a fucking wild plan, mate.

Oh, I love it. I'm so keen.

Let's do it. Let's go.

DEAN CLEARS THROAT Good game.

I'm getting ready for a first date with Freddie.

Oh, God, I feel, like, so smiley.

I've never been on a date

where I haven't showered for, like, 28 days or cleaned my teeth,

so it's a little bit hard to, like, get ready,

but I'll do what I can.

I'm gonna change my hair. I've just flossed my teeth -

not that there'll be any kissing on the first date.

That's a bit crazy.

Spin.

Thank you. Fabuloso.

We're ready.

Right. I'm off. Wish me luck.

Instead of going on a deer hunt,

Freddie heads to his secret date with Kiera.

This is only part one of Operation Badger.

Kiera is... A bit of a shame

that she kind of fell into the plot so well.

Either way, my loyalty lies to Laundry 66 and it always will.

We're off to the West Side.

I think I left something down there.

I think I left my water bottle and...

Yeah.

OK, bye, guys. Bye, guys. See you soon.

Good luck. Have fun.

With Steven as her chaperone,

Kiera heads to Bill's Bar to meet Freddie.

We left the East Side. They had no idea.

All the while, I'm, like, about to go on a date.

I think, depending on how the date goes,

as to whether I'll tell them or not.

Yeah.

Because, you know, it could be a flop

and I never want to see Freddie again.

And then I just don't need to tell anyone.

But if it ends up that we fall in love,

I guess I want to tell them

because I want them to come to my wedding.

It's just a bit of fun.

I mean, we're always just, like...

...doing, like, firewood and boring things.

It's nice to just have a spar.

It's nice to get some in the apocalypse. Amen.

First date. Sitting at the bar.

Are they going to turn up? Are they not?

Bye, girl. Bye. Love you. Be safe.

I'll watch you walk in.

Love you. Love you. Bye.

Hello, hello.

She hasn't stood me up.

I would never. Hello. How are you getting on?

It's so weird to, like, just be one-on-one. You look lovely.

I know. Oh, Freddie. Giving me the compliments?

Oh, my God, where's our server?

Oh, that is actually me.

OK. So, I can offer you... Mm-hmm?

In fact, I can offer both of us because I've only got one of them...

OK, perfect.

Ooh! We're gonna share a beer.

This is a 2025 Budweiser. Mm-hmm.

Do that. Oh.

Can I sip? Mm-hmm. All yours. Mm.

Is it OK? Oh, that's delicious.

Is that... Is it not nice?

It's delicious.

I'm more of a cocktail kind of girl.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. We ran out of Martini earlier on. Yeah.

We don't have long. Oh, really? Yeah.

So we've got to down this. And then you've got to wander back?

And then I've got to wander back. Absolutely heartbreaking.

This is what forbidden love is.

We only get fleeting moments together.

FREDDIE CHUCKLES

This is pretty wild that this is the first Apocalypse date, by the way.

Mm-hmm.

Congrats to us.

I feel like we're paving the way for society. I know, for the future.

We're doing the world a favour.

The Apocalypse version of Adam and Eve.

KIERA LAUGHS

I'm going to have a little peek in the window, see how it's going,

and then it's time for me to whisk Kiera away

like the princess she is.

Obviously, the sun's going down, so you have to go back.

Fleeting moments. I know. It's very sad.

I'm sad you've got to go. Yes,

but hopefully, there is a second date on the cards.

I'm looking forward to it. OK.

STEVEN GASPS I think they just kissed.

STEVEN CHUCKLES QUIETLY

Thanks, Freddie. Let me...

Let me get the door for you. Why, thank you.

They're coming out, they're coming out.

I'm telling everyone I'm dating Freddie.

Stevie! Hi.

Oh, you ARE here. Just wait. I just got here.

Thanks, cutie. How is it?

It's amazing.

Freddie and I are in love.

You guys have got to go. Bye-bye. Bye, Freddie.

Ciao. Bye. See you at the next one.

Yes. Oh, the next one?

FREDDIE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

She's super sweet.

I wasn't expecting to get along with her that much, I don't think.

I also haven't had Lypsyl on in, like, three weeks either.

That was an amazing revelation. FREDDIE CHUCKLES

How was it? Oh, Stevie. Mm-hmm?

We shared some stories...

Mm-hmm? ..we may have shared a kiss.

STEVEN GASPS

Maybe I seen it.

I'm trying not to be too distracted by that,

as amazing a time as it was.

That was part one of Operation Badger.

We are about to enter part two,

which is the delivering of the news of the date.

And then part three, which is the actual raid itself.

All right, legends?

How are you getting on? Yeah, I got four deer.

Oh, wow. Lovely. Um, yeah, that's why I'm a little bit late.

Um... All right. Calm down. You gonna come take a seat or...?

Is there something you want to say? What do you want to say?

FREDDIE SIGHS - What? - What?

I didn't actually go out after any deer this evening.

I knew it. What? I knew it. I knew it.

What do you mean?

I went to Bill's Bar on a date with Kiera.

What?! What?! Oh!

Come in, come in. Don't just stand there.

We want the gossip. CONTESTANTS EXCLAIM

We did. We played...

Two or one?

OK. That's... That's yours.

Uh-oh.

Deano! This is crazy.

Deano?

Deano?

What?!

Yeah. I think that really hurt Dean.

I mean, shit. Hopefully, they talk it over

and can figure something out.

Nearby, Dean is retrieving some bags he's hidden

for tonight's raid on the East Siders' bunker

with its undiscovered stash of food.

That's put a bit of a spanner in the works now, ain't it?

Oh, Freddie.

Oh, Freddie, the sly old fox.

Now we are in a love triangle in the Apocalypse.

Oh, my God.

Here's all the gear. I've got three in here.

Well done. Lights off, lights off.

Right. Slow walk.

Um, I think you deserve an Oscar for that one.

That was unbelievable stuff. I believed it.

What do you think of the name Operation Badger?

Wahey.

It's snowing outside. I know. It's snowing outside, Stevie.

That's cool.

Ah.

Three, two, one...

...open the door.

DOOR CREAKS Oh, fuck off!

Is it locked?

DOOR CREAKS SLOWLY

Shh.

Yeah, I've got the door, I've got the door.

Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh... WHISPERING: Oh, Jesus.

What's that noise?

They're coming to see us. Ssh!

QUIET RATTLING

They've got 14 Budweisers,

four mac and cheese, three Maggi noodles,

16 kidney beans.

There's so much. So much.

CAN THUDS Ssh.

Ssh!

What? What was that?

Did you hear that, yeah?

Should we look?

I'll have a look. Shall we have a look?

I'm gonna have a look.

Hello?

DOOR CREAKS

What is this?!

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! MWAH!

Cheers!

I do have a confession.

I've got a feeling I'm gonna hate him after this.

What a nasty, nasty bitch.

Look out! LAUGHTER

Any remaining resident must prepare for evacuation in 24 hours.

Oh, my God! EXCITABLE EXCLAMATIONS

Let's go! Guys, come on!

Help! Help!

What the fuck is that?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media