Original subtitles

All right, class.

Here's one that everyone should know but few do.

The first capital of our country was...?

Oh, the chosen few.

(beeping )

Mr. Brookwell.

(stuffed up ): I'm dorry.

I don't know.

(sneezes )

(imitates ): I'm dorry you don't know, too.

But I do.

All right.

(beeping )

Mr. Thomas.

You seem to have had time to chew on this one.

Uh...

No, "uh" is the capital of "duh"

which you seem to be the mayor of.

Hey, just in case you didn't know

my hand is up over here.

All right, just letting you know.

All right.

Uh, uh, why don't we let Raven take this one?

I didn't ask her.

I asked you.

(groans )

The answer, class, is Philadelphia.

(neck cracking )

I hate he only calls on people

who don't have their hands raised.

Yeah, and that cracking sound is nasty.

My grandmother does that with her toes.

Now

many people attribute

this scientific advance to Benjamin Franklin

but it was really made by Michael Faraday.

(beeping )

Ms. Baxter.

But...

I don't have my hand up.

Exactly.

Mr. Petracelli

when my hand is up, I know the answer

and when my hand is down, I don't know the answer.

Let me explain it again.

Hand up-- know, hand down-- don't.

I'm just saying.

No.

You're just saying everything but the answer

which is electricity which led to the light bulb

which is obviously not going off in your head.

All right, Raven.

(applause )

You really told Petracelli off.

So unless you have anything else

to waste class time with...

As a matter of fact, I do.

Let me break it down.

Why do you only call on people

who don't have their hand raised?

Whom I call on ismy choice.

Sit down.

Mmm. But see, I had my hand up plenty of many of times today.

But you only called on me when I did not know the answer.

And I know why.

Because you have more fun embarrassing us

than teaching us.

And trust me, the whole class got my back

on this one right here.

Ooh.

Um... (clears throat )

It's probably, you know, the wrong time

to be talking about this, right?

Right.

And maybe, you know, after school we could

toss it around a little bit.

Let's toss it around.

Good idea.

Why don't you and I

toss it around tomorrow after school.

And, hey, let's toss in your parents, too.

(applause )

BOY: All right, Raven.

You really told Petracelli off.

Rae... Rae...

(sneezes )

♪Let's go ♪

♪ If you could gaze into the future ♪

♪Future, future ♪

♪ You might think life would be a breeze ♪

♪Life is a breeze ♪

♪ Seeing trouble from a distance ♪

♪ Yeah ♪ Go, Rae.

♪ But it's not that easy ♪

♪Oh, no ♪ Take it to the bridge now

♪ I try to save the situation ♪

♪ Then I end up misbehaving ♪

♪ Hey, now, say now ♪

♪ About to break down, yeah, come on ♪

♪ And brow with the break, hey ♪

♪ In that the future looks great now ♪

♪ And everything's gonna change now ♪

♪ Let's keep it going ♪ ♪That's so Raven ♪

♪ It's the future I can see ♪

♪That's so Raven ♪

♪ It's so mysterious to me ♪

Yep, that's me.

Okay, my parents have to meet with Petracelli.

They are going to freak.

How am I going to tell them?

Just fake being sick.

They can't get mad if you're sick.

I stopped doing that kind of stuff when I was eight.

It's brilliant.

Yeah.

And I got a great recipe for fake vomit.

Little bit of cream corn

some yogurt and some dog food.

And if you pop it in the oven at 350, it'll actually steam.

Excuse me.

Say, brother, that's my locker!

I know.

I had it last year.

It's a good location.

Right next to the water fountain.

But there are lots of water fountains.

I like this one.

You can't do this!

I know my rights!

I don't get it.

What's so great about being near that water fountain?

Exhibit "A".

Mmm!

Fake vomit is great, but I need more.

I need a master in deceit

and the art of psychological manipulations.

That's why I came to you.

You made a wise choice.

I'm going to need that five bucks up front.

It's cool. Now...

This little trick works on Mom and Dad every time.

I call it...

"the three Cs."

Now what does that stand for?

"Crazy, creepy and constipated"?

That was one night!

Now do you want my help or not?

Okay, I'm sorry.

The three Cs are?

"Cuddle," "compliment" and the ever popular "cry".

Wait a second. That's what got you out of

burning the Christmas tree in '98?

Yep.

I cuddled up in Mom's arms, complimented Dad

on the great job he did with the Christmas lights.

And I even got a little tear.

(whimpers ): Right here.

And they still gave you that new bike.

And a basketball.

Yeah... '98 was agood year.

TONYA: Corey Baxter!

Get down here right now!

Okay, I really screwed up in school today.

You might want to come and take notes.

Do you know who I just got off the phone with?

Your teacher.

You have been acting up in class again.

Victor, talk to your son.

Corey...

Angry voice.

(deep voice ): Corey.

We are very disappointed in you.

I'm sorry, Daddy.

(Victor aahing )

Oow...!

Stay with me.

Don't you go cuddling up to him

or giving us any of your lame compliments.

And don't you even think about crying

or you're going to see a side of me

that's not very pretty.

Mother, how is that possible when you're so beautiful?

Knock it off and go to your room!

I'm going to need that five bucks back.

TONYA: What has gotten into him lately?

He's always acting up with his teachers.

Don't be too hard on him, Mom.

I mean, he's just a kid and kids make mistakes.

Was she just defending her brother?

I think so.

I've got to sit down-- the room is spinning.

Do you know what I think we're seeing here?

A more mature, responsible young lady.

The new Raven.

Well, it's not really the new Raven, really.

I'm really the same ol' Raven.

Your grades have been good.

You've been helping out around the house.

Yeah, I can't remember the last time

we were called down to the school

because you were, I don't know, mouthing off about something.

Um... I mean...

Ooh, don't you miss it?

I mean, those were the good times.

I messed up and you got mad. Whee!

Anyhow, we're so proud of you

that we have a little something for you.

Really? Well, I hope it's a very little something.

We were going to wait to your birthday

but now is a great time.

Come on.

VICTOR: And now...

the greatest present

a teenage girl could ever want.

"Ooh, you got me Lebron, 'cause I like them tall.

#Here you go, baby.

Oh. You got me a phone.

VICTOR: Mm-hmm.

With your own phone number.

I even programmed the speed dial for you.

Your best friend in the whole world is number one.

Go ahead, try it.

Okay. (touch tone beeping )

(phone ringing )

Hey, girlfriend.

I'll show you how to delete it later.

Okay.

Uh, Mom... Dad...

You know, I don't really know how to say this...

And you don't have to.

Just keep up the good work.

Call me.

(laughs )

(whimpers ): Yay.

Rae, just hang up and go tell them the truth.

They'll understand.

Not after they told me how proud they were of me.

No way, okay? To them, I'm the new Raven.

And the new Raven doesn't mess up.

So, what's the new Raven going to do?

Well, I guess I'm just going to have to go to Petracelli

talk to him-- no parents-- one-on-one.

Go get your mother.

Today!

Aah...!

Okay, that didn't go too well.

I want my mommy.

Look at that slob.

He's disgusting!

I mean, that is my locker

and if I don't take a stand now

it's going to ruin myreputation!

Thomas, you don't have "areputation!"

(neck cracking )

Hey, man.

We got a problem.

We do?

Yeah, I'm not sharing my locker, okay?

Oh, that's cool.

Uh, uh, uh, you-you're throwing out my stuff.

And it can go into my old locker.

Here's the combination.

Problem solved.

♪ When the temperature's hot ♪

♪ And the music is pumping ♪

Slow down.

This is a hallway, not a freeway!

Ehh, ehh, ehh!

None of that.

Looking good, Ritchie.

♪ Honey, don't go runnin' to your mama. ♪

Well, you look like a fine young student.

Could you please point me to Mr. Petracelli's class?

Yeah, uh, one floor down, first door to your left.

Aren't you a nice young man? Look at those cheeks!

Oh, come on with the pinching of the cheeks!

It's me-- Raven.

(gasps ): Raven?

No, I am Tonya Baxter.

Raven's mother.

My daughter is in a bit of a jam

and I'm here to bail her out, all right?

I'm coming back for you.

(locker clattering )

Come on, Daddy, let's go.

Come on now.

You don't even look like your mom.

You look more like you ate your mom.

Relax, Eddie, okay?

Petracelli's never even met my mom.

I'll just go in there

tell him Raven is grounded for life

and then I'll unground myself.

All right, I'm going to go in to see Mr. Petracelli.

I want you to count to ten, knock on the door

and say that there's an emergency at home

and that I have a phone call.

Well, hello there, Mr. Petracelli.

I'm Tonya Baxter, Raven's mother.

Uh, thanks for coming.

Anything for my baby's favorite teacher.

Uh, so...

I know this is about my baby getting talkative in class

and she assures me that she's very sorry

and it'll never happen again.

Is that someone knocking?

I, uh, I didn't hear anything.

Mrs. Baxter, where's Raven?

Raven is...

out in the car crying, crying her little eyes out.

Big puffy red things, runny nose

even a face a mother wouldn't look at.

Now I'm sure I heard somebody knocking!

There is no one there.

Now, I need to speak with you and Raven together.

Okay, when would you want that, Mr. Petracelli.

Oh, when?

Let me check my calendar.

Now!

Okay, then.

I'll see what I can do.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not you!

Excuse me.

But I think the mayonnaise

on my sardine sandwich I ate for lunch went bad

so, uh, I want to apologize for any discomfort

I may cause you young ladies.

If you have perfume, I'd spray it now.

(toilet flushing )

Hurry up.

Okay, okay. How do I look?

You have your mother's hair.

You know, I've been told that...

No, no.

You have your mother's hair.

Oh, oh, okay, okay.

Is my hair okay, now?

Okay, do I look okay?

Look, I'll meet you back here

after I check out my new locker.

Good luck.

Is this your locker?

Not really.

Mine's on the third floor.

Some big guy took it and made me come here.

Oh, you, too? BOY: Hey, Larry.

Hey, Brendan.

Wait a minute.

You mean to tell me

you both share this locker?

Yeah, that guy's stolen

all the good lockers.

My was right next to the snack machine.

This is crazy.

We can't let him get away with this.

We outnumber him, y'all.

We should take some action.

Hey, Leland, this guy

wants to get our lockers back

like you tried to do.

So my mom says you wanted to see me.

Uh, yes. With her.

Together. Both of you.

Is that really necessary?

I mean, why don't you and I just sit down...

Go get your mother.

Today!

Aaahhh...

(crashing )

Is Raven here?

Oh, what a shame.

Why don't the two of us just talk this out?

No.

Oh, cranky.

Someone needs a little nappy nap.

Is my mother here?

She just left.

Now why did she do that?

She knows we need to talk about this.

Tell her that. No, wait.

I'll tell her.

No! Wait!

I'll tell her!

Mrs. Baxter.

Coming, I'm coming.

Mrs. Bax...

Ooh!

You called?

I'm a busy man, Mrs. Baxter.

I've talked to you

I've talked to your daughter, and now I'm going home

to talk to myself

and ask why I ever became a teacher.

Well, does that mean you don't want to see Raven?

I don't need to see anyone anymore...

except maybemy mother.

Bye-bye, Mr. Petracelli.

I heard you stole my baby's locker.

Look, all I was...

All right, now you get your things out of there pronto.

Am I making myself clear?

But I've got all...

Hey!

Now don't you "but" me, boy.

And if you say any of this to Eddie

I got a bigger purse with buckles.

Ow!

We're looking for Mr. Petracelli.

We're Raven Baxter's parents.

Oh, oh, no.

Okay, okay...

Ah!

You're young, walk.

All right, mom in the house!

All right, look.

The guys and I have talked this over

and although we prefer to avoid physical violence...

Or harsh language.

Or intimidating gestures.

I got this, guys.

Now could you please give us back our lockers?

You know what?

(tires squealing )

You can have them.

Sure is good to be back home.

Mr. Petracelli, what are you still doing here?

Oh, joy, you've returned.

(neck cracking )

Only because I was worried

about you staying here at all times of night

cracking your neck.

What kind of life is that?

Mrs. Baxter, are you in the PTA?

No.

Let's keep it that way.

All right.

Excuse me, we're looking for Mr. Petracelli.

We're Raven Baxter's parents.

Uh, no, it'sMs. Petracelli.

But we got a message on our machine

from a Mr. Petracelli.

No, see, in the morning I got a little cold.

See, uh...

(coughing )

So, uh, maybe you should leave.

Um, the message on the machine said that, uh

Raven was talking back.

Talking back

speaking up.

I just call it a big, old

misunderstanding.

Now, which brings us back

to "bye-bye."

Still here, all right, you're still here.

Okay.

Oh, look, a bake sale.

Ms. Petracelli, we took off the entire afternoon

to come down here.

So we're not leaving

until we get this whole thing sorted out.

All right, we're not going...

Okay, all right.

Oh, now look at... what is this

doing here?

I did not know Brazil

was that big.

You know, it's funny.

We were just saying how responsible Raven's become.

Mm-hmm.

We even got her a new phone.

And she loves that phone like a puppy.

She said. To me.

(beeping )

Oh, look, I got mail.

You know, what bothers me the most

that if Raven was having a problem in school

why didn't she come to us about it?

Mm-hmm. Any thoughts about that, Ms. Petracelli?

Well, if I was Raven

which I'm not

maybe she would be afraid to come to you

because she thinks that you want her to be perfect

she said to me.

We don't expect her to be perfect.

Yes, you do.

You even called her "The New Raven."

Look, Ms. Petracelli

maybe we gave Raven the wrong idea.

We are very proud of her, but that doesn't mean

we don't expect her to mess up sometimes.

Yeah, we want her to feel like she can come to us

even when she does mess up.

And if Raven doesn't know all that

then maybe we're not doing our jobs as parents.

Raven thinks you're doing a great job.

Really?

Really.

Victor, look.

It's Raven.

Holy cow.

It is.

Okay, now when did y'all find out?

Well, when your butt went left, you went right.

(laughing )

Mm, mm, mm.

Betrayed by the booty.

I know I disappointed you

but will you please stop staring at me like that?

Raven, please.

We're only taking the phone away for two weeks.

But it looks so sad, Dad.

Call me.

I just have one question.

When you put this on

exactly what mother were you thinking of?

You look bootylicious.