Original subtitles

So they declared war against us while I was away.

Well, it's not a big deal. I'll take care of everything.

We won't have time for anything else if we have to fight 3,000 pirates.

What should we do, Shiro?

We speak with the Pirates.

What?!

So this is the Pirates' hideout.

It's quite different from ours, isn't it?

Are we really going to raid it?

Why? Are you scared?

Never!

- Would you have rather stayed with May? - That's not it!

There's someone I don't want to meet.

It's been a while, Shiro, Ichi, and AAAAAAAA.

That's too many A's.

So, Shigatera,

let us see your captain.

In the back. This way.

I'll wait here.

Why? Let's go.

I'm not going.

I never thought you'd come in person.

I'm Pico-plexed.

Captain Pico, I'll get straight to the point.

I want you to withdraw the declaration of war.

Surely you didn't come here empty-handed to say that, old man, did you?

In exchange, we'll let you have two of our dungeons,

the Red Clay Castle and the Great Cave of Haru.

The Great Cave of Haru? Isn't that where Death Diamonds are mined?

Keep your mouth shut, Nagato.

I don't need any of that lame stuff.

Hand over all the dungeons you own and the Twilight Hill.

Isn't that a bit too much, Pico?

Don't talk to me like that! I'll Pico you into oblivion!

You drive a hard bargain.

Twilight Hill is where that elusive monster is most often seen.

The ultimate endgame content. The Black Bird of Happiness.

An urban legend, thoroughly discussed by the players of PLANET.

No database mentions it,

and everyone was skeptical about its existence.

What changed everyone's opinion was the official announcement.

FIND THE BLACK BIRD, WIN 300 MILLION YEN!

The prize money is 300 million!

And not in in-game currency. It's 300 million real yen!

And right now, you guys are thought to be the closest to the Black Bird.

You seem more obsessed with it than anyone else, old man Shiro.

You wouldn't want to give up the hill even if you died.

It's not just about the Black Bird.

That hill is our treasured home. We can't just give it away.

I'm aware that I'm being unreasonable, but we're pirates after all.

It's our role to be unreasonable and arrogant.

You should be thankful we're even listening to you.

This can't be...

Is there really no other way, Pico? I mean, Captain Pico.

Well, let's see.

Give me Ichi.

You want Brother Ichi?

That is my only condition.

You give me Ichi, the war is over, and you can have your hill.

Come on. Hurry up and accept it!

Ichi is our family's--

Playing family doesn't suit him.

Bullshit!

You damn stalker!

I'd rather delete my character than serve under you!

I see. So you did come after all.

That's right. I've been listening from outside the room the whole time!

Shiro, don't rush into things!

But compared to giving up the hill, this might be a real bargain.

A, you bastard!

I'm only kidding.

Well!

Make up your mind, old man!

Macro on. Explosive Fist.

Captain!

You old bastard! I'll Pico you into oblivion!

We can't give you Ichi.

He's crucial to our family.

Declaration of war accepted.

It's war!

- How dare you destroy our ship. - You're going down.

PKing goes against my play style, but now...

Macro on.

I have no choice!

"Explosive Fist"?

I bet he set up that macro himself.

He's so hardcore!

Ichi!

You've become soft, Ichi!

Just remember the times when we used to be partners!

What? You were partners?

Don't bring up stuff from years ago!

You were cool back then!

I remember the profound darkness you confided in me that day.

No! Stop it!

Behold, Pico.

Even after taking so many lives, my cup of loneliness remains unfilled.

If I want to reclaim everything that was taken from me,

I must become the one who takes.

Until this thirst is quenched...

I will, with the black flames of hellfire,

set this world ablaze as I take everything from it.

Oh boy.

You're still pretty bad, but seems you had serious delusions of grandeur back then.

Your words were the reason I started this guild.

You should be on our side!

Your side is shit!

If you won't come, I'll take you myself, following your example!

I'll crush the Akabane Family with all my might!

You'll crush shit!

Ichi...

Is that all you have to say, pretend pirate?

I see that you and Ichi used to be together in the past,

but did you ever see Ichi smile even once during that time?

Never.

We see him smile every day.

That's all I have to say.

You can attack us anytime.

We are prepared and ready to confront your horde of 3,000.

Ichi...

Sorry, Shiga.

But your proposal to go to war came true in the end, didn't it?

Right.

AKABANE AND PIRATES AT WAR!

THEY'RE WASTING THEIR TIME

THE 300 MILLION YEN IS MINE

Hey! Come on out!

You better pay us back in full, you bastard! Hey!

Shitty bastards.

Everyone's piggybacking on the shitty Pirates.

The shittiest of shits.

We'll erect a barrier over the entire hill to fend off the invasion.

Can we really create such a huge barrier?

What if we used a certain item to enhance the barrier's strength?

So we're setting up these magic amplifiers at key locations, right?

It's been a while since we last played together.

This isn't playing. Get serious.

What? But we are playing.

We're not.

Are we not? This is a game.

This is why you're the weakest among us.

People call us "the gang of addicts," but that's mostly because of Shiro and me.

You should do better.

But I don't want to be a game addict.

What?

I don't like the sound of "game addict,"

and I think doing this to the point of neglecting real life is not fun.

Like those NEETs or shut-ins. I despise them to death.

I see.

Well, I'm not...

I'm not a shut-in or anything.

I see.

I like you a lot, Ichi, but I don't need to know your real life.

Yeah...

Sorry, logging off for a sec. Be right back.

Sure enough, after not eating for three days,

my hunger's turned into stomach pains.

Shit. My mouth is so dry and sticky.

My real life is absolute shit.

This world is as suffocating as ever.

I had so much of the food May cooked for us, and yet...

The real world is really just shit.

There's nothing in here.

Such a waste of electricity. Can't they at least stock frozen food?

Honestly, this house sucks.

Don't those shitheads know what a fridge is for?

Why are you looking at me like that?

You're either pitying me or despising me. I know what you're thinking.

I get it, so stop looking, damn it!

Shit! What is this timing?!

My shit brother, despite being shit, is looking at me with his shit eyes again.

Are you hungry?

You don't have money?

Well, why not get a part-time job?

Well, I guess that's impossible.

- Omurice will do, right? - What?

I know you love it.

You're allergic to yam and gelatin, right?

I'll leave out the onion. I don't like it either.

Your likes and dislikes, Brother, are the same as mine, aren't they?

- I could-- - You can sit down.

What are you looking at? Pitying your brother who can't even cook?

You're wrong if you think I owe you for this.

I'm the one doing you a favor by eating this!

It's... It's good.

You should go out.

Even if you can't get a job, getting used to going outside is a start.

Stop saying what I can't do!

What do you mean, "getting used"? Am I some exotic animal to you?!

Even a walk would be good. You could go to the grocery store with me.

Maybe visit Aya.

Brother...

Well...

I guess you really can't.

Shit! Shitty shit on top of shit!

Everything is shit after all!

Welcome back, Ichi.

Yeah.

Shiro and May are enjoying themselves.

Explosive Fist.

Hey, Shiro!

Hey, May!

Ichi!

- Why are you hugging me? - Just because.

- Great job. Did you crush them all? - We did.

It was just a vanguard of low-level players.

Even so, judging from the wreckage, there must've been about 50 battleships.

That's amazing for you two.

- It wasn't just the two of us. - What?

They had our backs.

Hello!

Hey. Pleasure doing business with you, as always.

President Leon! Sasumata!

We appreciate Granada's help.

Don't mention it. The Akabane Family is--

Granada Company's ally guild!

Therefore, cooperation and support are only natural!

We're glad we--

Made it before they could attack!

You're one to talk. Aren't you after the 300 million too?

Three hundred million is--

Just a recipe for trouble since Granada Company has 5,000 members!

Sasumata, will you let me finish?

Sir, yes, sir!

For Granada Company,

it'd be problematic if the Akabane Family becomes weakened by the war.

You're our biggest supplier of dragon and demon materials.

We also bought magic amplifiers from you. We are just about to use them.

Amplifiers? Why would you need them when you have such high stats?

We're going to deploy a massive barrier here,

to protect Twilight Hill and the family.

I see what you mean.

Which means it's time for us outsiders to get going.

But make sure to reach out if you need help.

This world would be boring without you in it.

After all, Shiro, you provide the best entertainment.

This barrier will hold for two months.

We'll find the Black Bird before it wears off.

- Brother, do you want the 300 million? - What?

If I had that much, I could be a shut-in for life.

So I'm never changing, huh?

What about Shiro?

I bet he's just curious.

It's not about money. It's about achieving something big.

Like leaving his name in history.

Hey, Shiro!

Why do you want to find the Black Bird?

Money.

- Is that so? - Is that so?

Well, I don't want money. I want all of you around and doing well.

And also our house. That's all I ask for.

I want the mentality to be able to say, "I don't need 300 million."

President Leon is like that too.

I don't like that guy. I can't trust him somehow.

I've known him for a long time. He's not one who lies.

And one thing I know for sure,

he loves and enjoys this game more than anyone else.

Having fun is all that matters.

Wouldn't you agree, Ichi?

Sure.

All right.

Let's go home.

Shit.

Mega shit!

This stinks of the Pirates!

Damn it! Those shitty bastards!

Come out! I'll kill you all!

Hey, Ichi. Is that...

A barrier?

What do you mean, Shiga?

We sent out a hundred more ships, didn't we?

So Pico-crush it already!

It seems to be fortified.

We can't make a scratch, no matter how many times we hit it.

It was never going to be straightforward.

Even with your resources, Captain Pico, it's not easy to beat the Akabane Family.

What the hell?!

I'm sure we had guards outside.

Players with stats that low can be your guards?

Didn't know being a pirate was so easy.

Easy or not, watch me and decide!

Hey, pretend president.

What do you... I guess it's obvious what you want.

I know you and the Family are close.

Right. So I'm here to tell you to stop the war.

It's troubling Shiro.

Like I care.

I thought so.

We don't want anything to do with the Pirates either.

What's that?

I said, I don't even want to talk to a group of scumbags like you.

The Pirates repeatedly kill, rob, and offend other players.

We do not want you in this game.

All of those are legitimate ways to play and allowed by the system.

So you think it's okay as long as you're having fun?

That's what a game is for.

Even if it's all online,

you're dealing with real people, and that makes this world a legit society.

So if you're going to give me that "it's just a game" excuse,

why don't you go play with your dolls by yourself, pretend pirate?

Pico, you don't provide the best entertainment!

I'm not "Pico" to you.

I repeat. Stop the war, and this cancer on our beloved PLANET must be disbanded--

I hear your love for PLANET loud and clear.

But I love the Pirates even more.

Now I'm totally fired up!

The Pirates will rally the full force to crush the Akabane Family!

- Nagato, start the ship! - Roger that!

Shall I revive you?

I'm fine.

I guess everything went according to your plan.

Hey, Ichi. Is that...

Could it be...

It must be somewhere around here. Find it!

Wha...

What the hell is this?

So this is the Black Bird!

Subtitle translation by: David Elan