Original subtitles

Legs spread, shoulder width apart.

Body tight. Then hit like you're going to defeat your enemy.

Here. The pinky is the key.

And then you need to hit, hit, hit...

Bang!

What are you talking about?

He who conquers the left side conquers the world.

Setting the initial parameters is the really hard part.

Are you talking about a game again?

Takkun? What are you doing?

Homework.

Why don't you do it at home?

'Cuz it's not cool.

Can't you do my homework too, huh?

Your hands are upside down.

You should play baseball too, Takkun.

Why do you always carry around a bat?

And why are you always here, anyway?

It's because...

Huh? Why was it?

Well, you're in a good mood.

You smell like cigarettes.

I haven't been smoking.

Hey. Why do you always do stuff like this?

Earlobe.

Ear-? Ow!

If I don't do this, I'll overflow.

What do you mean? What will happen?

Probably something amazing.

Nothing amazing happens here. Only the ordinary.

There's a huge factory that can be seen from our town.

Medical Mechanica, a maker of medical machines.

When it arrived, all the adults got excited.

The white smoke that blew out of it every day at its set time

looked like some kind of omen to me.

That smoke spread out and covered the entire city.

I don't like sour drinks...

Look a mark. What are you gonna do?

You wanna hide it with a bandage?

Here.

What?

It's yours, isn't it?

There's more than half left.

You know what?

My brother...

In the U.S., he...

Here I... Come 'n get it!

Already?

Takkun!

Stop!

Stop the native girl!

Taro-kun just hit his head, so you shouldn't move him yet.

But he isn't Taro-kun.

He's dead!

This young boy is completely dead! Dead as a Taro would be!

Like I said, he's not Taro-kun.

His name is Naota-kun.

I killed him!

I call him "Takkun" for short.

And just when I finally find him...

I killed him!

I killed him so quickly.

With a bang.

Or like a bash? Slash?

Or squelch? Belch?

No, no, no, no...

Come back to life!

Smooch!

Wasn't that scene kinda tough?

Yeah, you have to hold your breath and stuff.

Man, it always gives me a cramp.

What? You guys were really moving that slowly?

All right! Taro-kun came back to life!

Like I said, he's not Taro!

For real?

It's good he's not a Taro.

If he was, it would have been bad. Dead for sure.

That was lucky...

For me!

Final blow?

Alrighty, then...

Huh? It's not coming out.

Guess I'd better hit him again.

Stop!

He hit his head, so please don't move him.

What the heck did you just do?

You mean the CPR?

That's not what I meant.

Did she put her tongue inside?

You good for nothing!

What are you talking about?

She's very fast.

She was definitely over 20, huh?

Do you wanna go to the hospital?

A stupid adult that's not mature enough to grow up.

Looks like it hurts.

This doesn't look like a bump...

I can't go to the hospital with something like this.

I guess I just need to hold it in.

What do I do about school tomorrow?

Did you hear? She appeared yesterday.

That's very weird. It doesn't look good on you at all.

You're hiding something aren't you?

What a pain.

Naota! Naota! Did you hear?

Hear what?

The Vespa Woman!

Vespa? A wasp woman?

She has a guitar-

And rides a bike like Yuusaku! She has a guitar-

Not exactly.

Some girls in class 2 had their super spicy curry bread stolen.

Super spicy?

And, and when she stings you,

if you've done something bad, the mark of the devil will appear.

What kind of bad things?

Well, like...

Something perverted or something.

What? Perverted?

What kind of mark is that?

It's the devil's mark!

Lemme see, too!

I don't have a thing like that.

Did you see her, Naota?

Did she sting you?

Pervert! You're a pervert, Naota!

What are you talking about?

Where did she do it?

Pervert!

Where?! Tell me!

Nothing amazing happens here.

Only the ordinary.

So this wasn't a punishment.

It was ordinary for me to see Samejima Mamimi.

I decided to go to the hospital after school.

It had nothing to do with the wasp woman.

Yeah, this feels like it's right.

So, what happened yesterday after I left? Did something happen?

Hey, something did happen, right? Like something weird?

What do you mean by something weird?

What's that? A pimple?

It looks weird. It doesn't look good on you at all.

Looks like you're hiding something.

It's FLictonic KLipple Waver Syndrome.

FL? CL?

An adolescent psychological skin hardening syndrome.

A common affliction where children grow horns from trying too hard.

That's a lie. I've never heard of anything like that.

Okay, I lied.

So what is the truth, then...

...underneath the bandage?

Why are you here?

Don't run away.

Stay still.

I'm gonna put you out of your misery.

Huh? Where'd he go?

Hey!

Hey, Taro-kun!

A photo? I don't need to see it.

I don't have time for that kind of thing.

I don't care! Go out with your friends!

I had a dream about my brother.

His swing was just how I remembered it.

Back when I admired him.

Nao! Dinner!

It's you! The Vespa woman!

Why are you yelling?

Have a seat.

Yo.

She's gonna start working for us. She's Haruhara-

Haruko. Nice to meet you.

I got run over, you know.

By her bike?

You should've killed him.

But look, I got you a housekeeper, Dad!

You feeling okay, Grampa?

What? A housekeeper?

HOUSEKEEPER?

This housekeeper saw Taro-kun making out with a high-school girl.

Chichi wo kurikuri?

I told you I'm not Taro!

Chiku wo chiku-chiri!

Who's this slut you're fooling around with?

I-I was meeting with Samejima Mamimi!

With Mamimi-kun?

She's no good. She's trouble with a capital T.

Since your brother's away, she's sinking her fangs into you, Naota?

Chichi wo kuri-kuri.

Chichi wo furi-kuri!

CHICHI WO FLCL!

What's FLCL?

How should I know?!

Anyway, why are you looking at me? I'm a grade-schooler.

Ah-ha...

That's what it is... When I knead my bread,

It's Naota's Gundam Hammer.

My hand's like this, kuri kuri...

No, you see. It's that Tomino-esque thing to say that it's Gundam,

but basically it's a giant robot anime, right?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Nao's just like me.

So he must be doing it.

I know he's doing it and doing it and kuri-kuri-ing.

I see. That's pretty impressive, little brother.

So, you've got it made, Haruko-san.

Maid?

I mean, what do you think of kuri-kuri?

Curry?

Not like curry powder aphrodisiac licked off my desk.

Death?

How do you like your men? New? Dull?

Noodle?

Oh, you tempt me!

Empty?

Oh, Mr. Former Assistant Editor-in-chief, I didn't know you had such a young wife.

What a kuri-kuri type of dreamy thing!

Yep, kuri-kuri is all in the hands.

I see.

Well, I'm already in that kind of relationship with Takkun here.

What? What does that mean? What? What does that mean?

Mouth to mouth!

Ma- ma- ma-

Mou- mou- ma- ma-

Kuri-kuri... Mou- mou- ma- ma-

I told you to shut up about that!

So, Nao. Under one roof, and you two furi-kuri already. I see.

Who cares if it's furi or kuri?

But you're still thinking about doing it tonight, aren't you?

Stop acting like a kid!

With that kind of perverted kuri-kuri dream, you... you...

You must be hiding it underneath this bandage, AREN'T YOU?!

I'm not hiding anything!

Bandage.

Kuri... kuri... kuri...

Well, they're in a good mood.

Well, they say they're making some kind of medical machines or something...

No, not yet.

Well, I understand that, but...

The channel isn't perfect.

And the kid I found here isn't that great.

Who said you could come in without asking?

Looks like the bottom's yours, so I'll sleep on top.

Who are you, really?

I'm just a wandering housekeeper.

Tell me the truth.

I'm an alien.

And this afternoon you pretended to be a nurse.

Underneath the bandage...

You're a freak.

What's it like? Under the bandage?

I don't know.

You're lying. You saw it, didn't you?

What's happening to me?

What do you think?

It's your fault, isn't it?

But it's your head.

But YOU hit me there!

Take it off!

You followed my dad home. Why don't you go stay with him?

What do you want?

You're the one I met first, Takkun.

Anyway, the top's my brother's, so no one can sleep there.

That's the rule.

How old is your brother?

Where is he?

America.

What for?

Baseball.

So he's good at baseball, huh?

You're sleeping here? You're sleeping here?!

There's nowhere else. The top's your brother's, right?

Dammit! She's making fun of me!

Naota-kun.

We need to talk.

What is it?

Haruko-san. Are you against having her here?

Do whatever you want.

The "nao" in "Naota" is for honesty.

I guess you were run over, too, huh?

When did Mamimi come?

She asked for the crusts and leftover bread.

You're up to your ears in this thing.

Is Mamimi's family, say, poor?

He seems energetic.

He gave me a lot.

Did he send you a letter?

Doesn't he contact you at all?

How much do you like my brother?

It's hard...

You saw the sign at our bakery, right? That bread's old.

Watermelon.

Or like a panda with a mean face...

Or a sandal with pressure points drawn on them...

Or the smell of a blackboard eraser...

Or a Sunday morning where you wake up and it's been raining...

Well, I like him more than stale bread crusts.

Then stop, already.

You know, he has a...

Oh, no!

No! I must respect the privacy of others!

What's wrong?

I'm about to overflow.

I'm gonna overflow!

What do you mean?

Mamimi!

It's bigger than before.

Where's Mamimi?

What's going on?

Haruko!

Wow!

As soon as I said that, I knew I shouldn't have.

To think, even for a second, that she looked like my brother.

Hey, help. I can't get off.

Huh?

Help. Get me off...

Huh?

Help. Get me off...

And...

C-Come on, help!

Anyway, the bandage came off.

The horn's gone.

Put your back into it.

There was nothing amazing about it.

Put your back into it.

You're kind of suspicious.

Only the ordinary happens here.

Why are you embarrassed?

I'm leaving.

You didn't have to run here.

Here.

I told you, I don't like sour stuff.

Who said that men think with their heads, but women think with their uterus?

Mizuno Haruo?

No, it's Fujio, Fujio. Not the Ace one, the Flash one.

Nah, just kiddin'.

But sometimes it seems like it, so it feels kinda weird.

Next on "FLCL." Episode 2, "FiSta."

Who cares if it's true or not?