Original subtitles

( funk music playing )

Narrator: After a generation of struggle

changed the face of our nation,

African Americans entered the '70s

with new found hope.

- I am... - I am...

- somebody! - "somebody!"

Vibrant leaders emerged

and black culture reached its high point,

influencing all facets of American life.

## Say it Iouder... ##

Audience: ## "l'm black and l'm proud" ##

Let me hear you-- ## Say it Iouder... ##

But progress slowed in the decades that followed.

Black culture began to lose its distinctive flavor.

( Iaughs )

And as the millennium drew to a close,

disaster struck.

These seemingly random events were in fact orchestrated

by The Man, a villain obsessed

with turning back the clock on race relations.

Just when it seemed the funky spirit

of the '7 0s would be lost forever,

a new hero emerged. His name, Undercover Brother.

## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna" "tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##

## "Tear the roof off the sucka" ##

## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna" "tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##

## "Tear the roof off the sucka" ##

## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna" "tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##

## "Tear the roof off the sucka" ##

## "Tear the roof off, we're gonna" "tear the roof off the mothersucka" ##

## "Tear the roof off this sucka" ##

## You've got a reaI type of thang going down ##

## Getting down ##

## There's a whoIe Iot of rhythm going round ##

## Whoa! We want the funk ##

## Give up the funk Ah, we need the funk... ##

Give it to me. Need it, got to have it.

- ## We need the funk ## - We need the funk.

- ## "Gotta have the funk" ## - Say!

## La-Ia-Ia-ya-ya ##

## Do-do-do-do-do... ##

( car honks )

( tires screeching )

## "Turn this mother out..." ##

It ain't no thang.

( together ) Yeah.

A bird gonna shit on my windshieId?!

Not on my CadiIIac!

I'm gonna chop your feathers off and put you in Chinatown!

They gonna make Peking Pigeon out of you!

Damn!

Unbeknownst to Undercover Brother,

there was a secret organization dedicated to truth,

justice, and the Afro-American way.

They had never crossed paths until now.

( beeping )

Headquarters, come in.

Good work, Sistah GirI.

Data from the mainframe ready to commence.

- She's transmitting! Are we up and ready? - Yes, sir.

And I've hacked into the bank security system.

Computer: You've got soul.

- We're in. - "Aha!"

The computer! Another idea stoIen from the bIack man.

Did you aII know that George Washington Carver

made the first computer out of a peanut?

- Hmm? - A peanut?

- A peanut! - Shut up and get back to work!

I've spent six months setting up this operation

and I want to see everything--

off-shore accounts, dummy corporations, money Iaundering.

lf we can cut off his funds,

we may finaIIy be abIe to stop The Man.

Waited a Iong time for this.

- What the heII? - What the heII?

- What the-- - "Dissed."

- Ah, soIid. - "Hey!"

What the heII are you doing, oId man?

( beeping )

- AII: Whoa! - Headquarters...

- is there another agent on this case? - HeII, no!

Damn it, who is that guy?

I'II cross-reference the bank's security camera with our database.

Guard 1 : Come on, UncIe Ben!

( together ) Whoa!

Oh, shit!

It's Macy Gray with pork-chop sideburns!

( karate yeII )

Who's bad?

( screaming )

Ohh! Right up the pooper!

- ( Body & SouI music pIaying ) - Right on, sweet sistah.

Chief: Damn it, who is he?!

- ( exasperated sigh ) - Sistah GirI, abort mission!

Damn it. Who was that guy?

## "Hey, Undercover" ##

- ## "Undercover Brother" ## - SoIid.

## "Here's the plan--" "he's got to fight the man" ##

## "And he's looking fine" "when he goes head to head" ##

- ## "Dig those funky threads" ## - ## "Wears his daddy's black" "medallion" ##

## "And it stands for pride" ##

## "Truth and justice" "be your guide" ##

- ## "He's bad" ## - ## "All he does is good" ##

## "He's the Robin Hood" "of the 'hood" ##

## "Hey-hey, Undercover" ##

- "Solid." - ## "Undercover Brother" ##

## Dressed to kiII in the Coupe DeviIIe ##

## "Oh, hey!" ##

- ## "Undercover" ## - "Too funky for myself."

- ## "Undercover Brother" ## - ## "Undercover Brother." ##

Yeah.

Announcer: Mr. Feather, The Man wants to see you.

FabuIous.

Newscaster: And now, the Channel 8 News with Wendy Marshall

and Chuck Marlboro.

There's growing specuIation that former defense secretary and war hero,

GeneraI Warren BoutweII, wiII run for President.

He is considered the first African-American

with a Iegitimate chance of winning.

Wendy? Yeah, he is a strong candidate, Chuck.

He's so weII-spoken. I've noticed that.

General Boutwell seems to have a lot of support all across the nation.

Yes, and not just in the urban areas.

ln fact, the decorated four-star general and Vietnam vet

is regarded as one of the country's

most well-respected public figures.

GeneraI: Thank you very much.

A staunch advocate for civil rights,

Boutwell has never backed down from controversial issues.

lndeed, if ever there was a straighter arrow than Warren Boutwell,

we'd be hard-pressed to find him.

WeII, if he does decIare his candidacy,

this certainIy wiII be an exciting race.

Race? I'm not touching that one.

First, our chiIdren hip-hop aII over the suburbs.

Now Boutwell might be President?!

They are taking over every aspect of our culture!

- Don't you agree, Mr. Feather? - Word.

- For sheezy, my neezy. - What did you say?

I said... for sure.

Yes, indeedy.

( coughs ) I have a coId.

l want the White House to stay white.

EIiminate him!

But, sir, if we kiII him,

we'II onIy be making him a hero.

Do you have a better idea?

Our friends at MuItinationaI Inc.

have been deveIoping a new drug

with some very interesting side effects.

I think we may have found the perfect guinea pig.

Newscaster: The so called Afro Bandit struck Multinational Bank.

However, it appears no money was stoIen.

Authorities questioned singer Macy Gray,

but she was reIeased for Iack of evidence.

WeII, wouId anybody Iike to expIain exactIy

what the heII happened at the bank?!

His name is Undercover Brother.

ApparentIy, he was erasing mortgage records

so that Iow-income famiIies wouIdn't Iose their homes.

Sistah GirI: Great.

A ''SouI Train'' reject with a Robin Hood compIex.

- Now I've heard everything. - Hey, hey, hey, now.

At Ieast he got the job done.

- That's the kind of man we need around here. - The keyword being ''man''?

HoId on. I didn't say that, you did.

Man-man.

The GeneraI's press conference is starting!

Newscaster: We interrupt this broadcast to take you live

to a press conference by GeneraI Warren BoutweII,

in which he is expected to announce

that he is a candidate for presidency of the United States.

I wonder if he'II run as a Democrat or an Independent.

- Never know. Might be a RepubIican. - Oh, pIease.

What kind of seIf-respecting bIack man

wouId run as a RepubIican?

Name one thing the RepubIican party

has done for bIack peopIe. One!

WeII, they were the party of LincoIn.

They stood against the tyranny of oppression

by Ieading the caII for the CiviI War,

and forced passage of the Emancipation Proclamation,

which freed the sIaves.

AII right, name two things IateIy.

Damn it, It doesn't matter what party!

This couId be the first step on the road to putting

an African-American in the White House.

It's a great day for bIack peopIe of aII races.

- GeneraI: "Good morning." - Think about it!

I've thought Iong and hard about how I can best serve my country

now that I'm no Ionger in uniform.

WeII, today...

l am proud to announce

that l will be...

opening a chain of fried chicken restaurants.

AII: GeneraI BoutweII!

Yes, sir.

So, you're passing up a chance to be President

to open a chicken joint?

A man Iike me doesn't have any business in poIitics.

They say you shouId aIways do what you know.

And what I know is good fried chicken.

- Ohh... - GeneraI: "Yes, ma'am."

Don't you think your supporters in the African-American community

wiII be particuIarIy disappointed?

Not after they taste the GeneraI's fried chicken.

( gasps )

GeneraI: Surrender, Colonel, here comes the General.

- "Will there be side dishes?" - Sweet potatoes...

- ( sighs ) - bIack-eyed peas,

- "mashed potatoes, macaroni..." - Mmm.

cornbread, and the General's special...

hot sauce!

( Iaughing ) That's aII for today.

Thank you very much. Nice to see you aII.

Reporter: General, what about desert?

You know, he does have a point about that CoIoneI.

I never trusted the CoIoneI!

SIaves cooked that chicken! Ain't no white man know

about no 16 herbs and spices and giblets!

Smart Brother, if you so damn smart,

- "why don't you explain" what just happened? - ( stammers )

( mimics stammering ) If I wanted to hear something stupid,

- I'd ask this skinny bIack ass! - In your face!

Skinny bIack-- Hey!

We got to find out exactIy what happened to the GeneraI, and fast!

I'II get right on it. Whoa, hoId on.

Not that fast. We need some new bIood on this case.

What? Who? You can't just hire some fooI off the streets.

Watch me. Get me Undercover Brother!

- "( toilet flushing )" - Ooh, too funky for myseIf.

Man on TV: You were the only man outside the palace.

- "l was outside." - Jimmy!

-But I wasn't the onIy one. - "Jim Kelly!"

- It is not possibIe. - Watch out for the hand! Watch out for the hand!

( grunting )

Gets you every time! Spinning back-kick!

( fake yawn )

I think I'II Iay down

and get me a IittIe bit of sIeep.

( karate yeII )

Don't touch the hair!

Okay, Bruce Leroy, turn around.

SIowIy.

If you gonna shoot me,

shoot me.

Thank you, Jesus.

Hmm.

Dig it.

You that Sistah GirI from the bank, huh?

I guess you Iike what you saw earIier.

Look, baby, Iet's stop fooIing around.

Your body's sIammin', Iet's get to jammin'.

Excuse me?

Oh, nothing reIaxes a brother after a hard day of going undercover

Iike a IittIe piece of the cookie.

Goddamn. My cookie wouId break you in haIf.

Maybe, but that wouId be some Iong division.

Long.

You hit me pretty good, but I wasn't ready.

Now, any time you think you want to get feisty or throw down--

( crash )

So, Sistah GirI,

if you're not here for Undercover Lover,

you must be here for Undercover Brother.

What, pray teII, can I do for you today?

Sistah GirI: Okay, we're here. Now be cool.

- "This place is top secret." - Undercover Brother: "Solid."

Man: Man, you know you ain't right.

Whoo-oo!

I'm gonna need my custom shears

for this masterpiece.

CarefuI. Puncture him and the hot air's IiabIe to kiII you.

- Sistah GirI: "Take a seat." - "Don't mind if l do."

- We're gonna hook you right up. - HoIy funkadeIic!

This is some kind

of secret organization you have here.

Look at aII this hi-tech spy equipment.

You got cIippers, you got T.C.B. activator.

I mean, your onIy competition must be the K.G.B.

- ( Iaughter ) - Or the F.B.I.

( screaming )

Who the heII are you, woman? You're the Grim Reaper!

l don't want to go to hell!

I ain't never did nothing but good!

I swear to God I ain't done nothing wrong!

( screaming continues )

Oh, come on.

The fIashing Iight and fan make the drop seem worse than it is.

I knew that. Mm-hmm.

Computerized voice: Entering secure area.

Stand here.

Right here?

Computer: Blackness confirmed. You got soul.

What I'm about to show you

few peopIe have ever seen before.

P.A.: Would Agent Jefferson please pick up the black courtesy phone?

Agents report to the ready room.

Agents report to the ready room.

WeIcome to the Brotherhood.

SoIid.

Yes, I know.

I reaIIy don't want to taIk about this over the teIephone.

Perhaps we couId meet at a secret Iocation?

Okay. No, that sounds great.

AII right. RevoIution. Take care.

Man: ''The revolution will not be televised. ''

- This is Undercover Brother. - Hey, how you doing?

Good morning!

Good morning? Get on the desk!

You brought a spy around me?!

Spy in the buiIding!

- Don't touch the 'fro. - Back up off!

- Back up off "me!" - Let me teII you something about the word ''good.''

Good is an ancient AngIo-Saxon word.

Go-od, meaning the absence of coIor,

i.e.-- ''It's aII good,''

which it is, or ''Good WiII Hunting,''

meaning, ''I'm hunting niggas!''

So if you say ''good morning'' to me, you're saying,

''I'm gonna kiII your bIack ass first thing in the morning!''

- "ls that that damn Undercover Brother?!" - You in troubIe.

- Where the heII have you been?! - Hey.

This is a job, not some kind of damn summer camp!

And I'm tired of you disrespecting me!

Give me one good reason why I shouIdn't fire your sorry ass!

Because I don't work for you?

Shut up!

Save your smart comments for the chunky brother in the smock!

Now get in my office!

CongratuIations, Mr. Feather.

Thank you, Mister...

The Man.

As you can see, the GeneraI is totaIIy under our controI.

The Man: Yes, our little experiment was a success.

In fact, I've decided to use the GeneraI to Iaunch ''Operation Whitewash.''

FabuIous. I'II inform MuItinationaI to step up production.

The onIy thing standing in our way is the Brotherhood.

And they won't be a probIem, wiII they, Feather?

No, sir.

Good.

( mockingIy ) Uh, wiII they, Feather?

( light rock playing )

- "New one from Britney--" - "( classical music playing )"

( scoffs )

( hip-hop music playing )

## "Oh-oh" ##

## "Ooo-mmm" ##

## "Let's get it crunk upon," "have fun upon" ##

## "Up in this dancery" ##

## "We got ya open, now ya floatin'" ##

## "So you gots to dance for me" ##

## "Come on, everybody, get on up" ##

## "'Cause you know we got" "to get it crunk" ##

- "( music stops )" - What am I doing?!

And that's why we beIieve there's got to be

some connection between the GeneraI's announcement and The Man.

Come on, y'aII. Y'aII teIIing me there's reaIIy "a" Man?

What do you think, Undercover Brother?

If that is your reaI name.

You think things just happen by accident?

No! Sometimes peopIe,

mostIy white peopIe, make things happen.

That's where we come in

and our never ending struggIe against The Man,

a.k.a. Whitey, a.k.a. Mr. CharIie,

a.k.a. Honky McGee.

So, the conspiracies we've beIieved

for aII these years are reaIIy true?

The N.B.A. reaIIy instituted

the three-point shot to give white boys a chance?

Smart Brother: AbsoIuteIy.

So the entertainment industry reaIIy "is" out to get Spike Lee.

- Is that right? - Come on, man!

Even Cher got an Oscar.

Cher-rr!

And O.J. reaIIy didn't do it?

Let's just move on, shaII we?

HoIy moIy, Iooks Iike the Source Awards in here.

Ow! It does now.

- Hurting. - Who's that?

Sistah GirI: Oh, this is Lance, our intern.

Lance, this is Undercover Brother.

What's happening?

Whas-ssup?!

Okay, how did the white boy get a job

here at the Brotherhood?

Shit. What can I teII you? Affirmative action.

What? Here we go.

Oh, boy. Open up the window.

It's getting aII raciaI up in this piece.

Look here, Undercover Brother,

now that you're working for us,

you're gonna need to memorize our ruIes and reguIations.

Trim the hair, and for God's sake, get rid of the cIothes.

SIow your roII, Chief. You know, I respect

what y'aII are doing here at the Brotherhood,

but I'm a firm beIiever in everybody shouId do their own thang.

## What a boy wants, what a boy needs ##

## Whatever... ##

( mutters )

## Free... ##

Okay, he shouId never do his own thang.

I'm getting too oId for this shit.

Conspiracy Brother: I said, ''You'd better open the bank and give me my money.''

Yeah? ''It's my money.

I don't care whose bank it is!'' Right.

I know whose money is in it. I'm keeping it reaI.

- That's aII I'm saying. - Hi, Conspiracy Brother.

''Hi''? What you mean, ''Hi''?

Like, ''Hi, y'aII want to be white?''

High, Iike the white man wants to keep us? Huh?

You don't smeII no weed on me, did you?

Hey, brother, can I get a Iist

of the words that trigger these fits?

Man, you reaIIy need to reIax.

- Go see a movie. - A movie?

A movie. Come on, man!

So I can faII in Iove with some cute bIack man

that teaches white peopIe everything they know about the shrimp industry

before they kiII him 30 minutes into the movie?

''Hey, why don't you waIk down that tunneI, bIack man?

Hey, bIack man, turn on the generator.

This dinosaur is out there. Hey, bIack man, Iook out.

- He's got a gun!'' - ( gunshot )

Oh! I'm hit!

But my vest caught it, bitch!

Yes, l'm alive!

I toId you to keep your finger off the trigger of that thing!

l'm cool, everybody.

- Undercover Brother, pIease. - "Go on back to work."

- Sorry about aII that. - "l shit on myself!"

I have a coupIe of things for you.

Here are your shoes. I took the Iiberty of making a few modifications.

Whoo!

And now, am I correct in assuming that the CadiIIac

that was doubIe-parked in the parking Iot beIongs to you?

Smart Brother, that is not just a Caddy.

That is a CadiIIac Coupe DeViIIe.

Conspiracy Brother: Y'all don't give a shit about me! l need a sponge bath.

Smart Brother: That's an orange soda dispenser.

And a crossover amp and subwoofer for your eight-track.

Ah, man. Smart Brother, you's a bad mother--

- Shut your mouth! - ( both Iaugh )

Enjoy, huh?

AII right.

Big car, big hair, big neckIace.

Someone is cIearIy overcompensating.

First of aII, you forgot about my big, bIack, fuzzy baIIs.

( gasps )

And secondIy, this is not a neckIace,

it's a medaIIion given to me by my father

so I never forget who I am or what I stand for.

I don't need no goId. Don't need no jeweIs.

- The medaIIion keeps me cooI. You dig? - "( beeping )"

Chief: "Sistah Girl," Undercover Brother, come in.

What it is, Chief?

We've just discovered that the GeneraI is pIaying goIf

with some of MuItinationaI's head honchos.

Now, you get yo ass down there and see what you can find out!

And by the way, Undercover Screw Up,

don't Iet me catch your bIack ass in the news again.

You hear me?! I want you to bIend in!

Chiefie, baby, I'm a master of disguises.

I can bIend in Iike a good weave.

- "Say, where's that caddy?" - "l don't know."

Oh, there he is.

Uh... um--

Jah mon, rasta.

- "Nice shot." - ( appIauding )

Sistah Girl, the camera's up.

( beeping )

WouId anyone Iike some fried chicken?

- Mm-mmm. - ( Iaughter )

Sistah GirI: Mr. Feather.

Undercover Brother?

We're definitely on the right track.

That's the number one flunkey of The Man.

I'm gonna report to the Chief, find out what he wants to do.

That cat'II be Iong gone by that time.

This thing's going down now, baby.

This is strictIy an observationaI mission.

We are not authorized to take action.

WeII, observe this.

Action is what Undercover Brother's aII about.

( sighs )

Hmm. Rasta man.

Oh, the mind controI formuIa is compIete.

( knock on door )

- "Who's there?" - "Kung!"

Kung who?

Kung fooI!

Ow, my wrist.

HeIp! Thief! There's a thief here!

- What the heII is your probIem? - Give me back my things!

Thief! Hey, give me that back!

Hey!

HoId it!

HoIy Motown.

- Come on. - You don't want to mess with me, man!

( mocking )

I had 'em, baby. Yeah, I saw.

Come on, Iet's go!

( thump, groans )

Come on!

Stop where you are! This is security!

- Do not move! - Quick! This way!

Aw, heII, they moved.

Do it. Code 37.

Oh-oh!

- Is he crazy? - Okay, sIow down!

- "Slow, slow, slow." - ( honking )

Hey, sIow down over there, peopIe!

HoId the wheeI, baby.

- No! No! - Oh, no!

Oh, jeez! Too fast!

Losing controI!

( both screaming )

( screaming continuing )

( screaming stops )

- There's got to be another way out of here. - "Hold it!"

( guns cock )

Thanks for the Iift.

Smart Brother: A spectral analysis has ironically confirmed

traces of pouItry on Mr. Feather.

This proves that The Man must be behind

MuItinationaI Inc.'s deaI with the GeneraI.

I don't get it. What does The Man got to do with fried chicken?

Is that his big pIan, to get bIack peopIe to eat junk food?

Open your eyes, Undercover Brother!

This has to do with discrediting the GeneraI.

That is the white man's tactic.

He don't want no bIack President.

You've seen it all through history.

They never give bIack men credit.

Jesus Christ... bIack man.

Babe Ruth... bIack man.

Madonna!

SIeeps with bIack men.

Think about it.

So the GeneraI soId out to The Man.

I don't think it's that simpIe.

When you're deaIing with The Man, it never is.

Our onIy choice here is to infiItrate MuItinationaI Inc.

Then we can find out what happened to the General.

It'II be a very dangerous assignment.

lt'll be your most vigorous training yet.

You're gonna have to think and act

just like a tight-butt white man with a 401K plan

and a country club membership.

So pay attention.

Here...

have a bite of this...

sandwich.

How did you know I was hungry?

I ain't eat nothing this morning.

- You trying to kiII me? - If you're going to pass in white America,

you are going to have to Iearn to Iike mayonnaise!

No! Listen...

if you're ever forced to eat this mayonnaise,

simpIy press the button on this side of the watch.

It deIivers a rather IiberaI spritzing of hot sauce.

One bIast shouId be enough to make Caucasian food edibIe.

WeII, it works on grits.

Now, since time is of the essence,

I deveIoped a device that aIIows you

to absorb the whoIe of white cuIture

in mere seconds using subIiminaI imagery.

l call it...

Caucasiavision.

Hey, I feeI Iike George CIinton.

## We want the funk. ##

- Turn it on. - "( machine whines )"

## Here we go one more time ##

## "Everybody's feeling fine" ##

- ## "Here we go now" ## - ## "Yes, yes, here we go" ##

- ## "'N Sync has got to flow..." ## - No!

## "Get to the beat," "we've got everything you need..." ##

Make it stop! Make it stop!

## "Yes, here we go..." ##

( screams )

Don't you give up on me!

I see white peopIe. It's too much!

Too much! Caucasian overload!

Caucasian overIoad. Breathe.

Caucasian overIoad! Breathe.

Breathe. Breathe.

That's too much white for one brother to take.

You did good.

We need to make sure the process worked,

so I caIIed in an expert on white cuIture.

''In season three of 'Friends,'

what object of JuIia's did Ross see on his bedside tabIe

the night he kissed RacheI?''

Her saIine soIution.

He's ready.

Hi, there.

How are you doing?

What do you say there?

Howdy. May I heIp you?

I sincereIy hope so.

Today's my first day at MuItinationaI.

Oh, my. Jackson.

Anton Jackson.

And no, not one of the Jackson Five.

( forced chuckIe )

Here we go. You're in suite 54. Tobacco division.

We need some fresh,

hip strategies to expand our market share.

As it turns out, I have just the product.

Here's one of your cigarettes.

Take a good Iook at it.

It's paIe, smaII, a IittIe on the Iimp side.

It's basicaIIy inadequate.

It can't possibIy give much pIeasure to the user.

- It sure can't. - I mean, ask yourseIves,

how many bIack peopIe are gonna want to smoke this?

- Not the one I know. - "You have to effectively position"

your product within the black consumer.

May I present to you The Fatty?

Hmm? It's got that hand-roIIed Iook and feeI

that's so popuIar with today's bIack youth.

It's big. It's fuII of Iong-Iasting pIeasure

- to be enjoyed again... - "( woman panting )"

( moans )

I couId use a smoke.

Yeah? Good.

It's time to say goodbye to Anton Jackson...

and say what it is to Undercover Brother.

Whee-hee!

Now, that's a long way down.

( raps on glass )

Hey!

Come in, Brotherhood. Are you digging me?

Undercover Brother.

l'll transmit some computer files about the General.

- See what you can do with it. - Smart Brother: "Right on."

The chief wants you to stay undercover untiI we decode this information.

- I can dig it. - But be carefuI.

If they're onto you, they might set up a trap.

l know this is the wrong time,

but I wanted to Iet you know,

I'm thinking about you, girI.

I'm bouncin'. Shakin' a spot.

- Gone. - Bye.

( mimicking ) Bye.

( alarm blaring )

Mr. EIias, there's been a breach!

( grunts ) That afro!

I'd recognize it anywhere.

The Brotherhood is making their move.

Just as I expected.

It's time to reIease our secret weapon.

I caII it...

BIack Man's kryptonite.

## "l want to be bad" ##

## "Make that look so good" ##

## "l've got things on my mind" ##

## "l never thought l would" ##

## "l want to be bad" ##

## "You make me feel so good" ##

-## "l'm losing all my cool..." ## - How's it going there?

What the heII?

Oh, dear.

Oh, what am I gonna do?

My gosh.

Look at this mess. Oh, dear.

I'm so sorry. Let me heIp you.

Jeez, that's sweet of you.

If I mess up my boss' report,

he's gonna have a conniption with a capitaI K.

- Oh. - PeneIope Snow.

Anton Jackson.

I'm so sorry. Here.

Thanks, Anton. You're so sweet.

And cute, too. In a Theo HuxtabIe kind of way.

Are you new here?

Yeah, it's my first day. Mine too.

- ReaIIy? - Yeah, I just moved here

bringing nothing by my hopes and my dreams.

But sometimes the big city can be so...

...big.

A girI needs friends, Anton.

WouId you Iike to be my friend?

( music begins playing )

PeneIope: ## "We all know" ##

## "That people are the same" "wherever you go" ##

## There is good and bad ##

## "ln everyone..." ##

Hey.

## When we Iearn to Iive ##

## We Iearn to give each other ##

## What we need to survive ##

## Together aIive ##

Both: ## Ebony and ivory ##

## Live together in perfect harmony ##

## Side by side on my piano keyboard ##

## Oh, Lord ##

## Why don't we? ##

- Yeah! - ( instrumentaI breakdown )

( crowd cheering )

Yeah!

( Iaughter )

## Ivory ##

## Ebony ## ## Oh-oh ##

## Ivory ##

## Ebony. ##

PeneIope: l didn't know you had such a beautiful voice.

You know, you and I have tons in common.

I know what it feeIs Iike to be discriminated against.

I mean, just because a girI has a heaIthy sexuaI appetite,

doesn't mean she can't do her job.

- Uh-huh. - They Iook at you

and aII they see is a threatening bIack man.

( whimpers )

And they Iook at me, and aII they see

are my fuII breasts and my narrow waist

that tapers to my pert backside.

It's just not fair. Huh-uh.

- Here you go, foIks. - Yum.

- And here's the extra mayonnaise you ordered. - Yum, yum.

- "Enjoy." - This is the best stuff.

Have you eaten here before, Anton?

No, I haven't. It's my first time.

Oh, take a bite of my sandwich.

( guIps )

Come on, Anton.

Just one IittIe bite.

Scrumptious.

PeneIope: Oh, Anton,

I can't wait to see you in these corduroys.

You're gonna make me bIush.

And you might not see it!

May I heIp you, sir?

( thud )

HeIIo, feIIow person of coIor.

How's it going today?

- What's going down? - What are you doing with that girI?

- What girI? - That girI!

- Oh, the white woman. - Mm-hmm.

I'm undercover.

When you go undercover, you have to do things you wouldn't normally do.

No matter how difficuIt, how dangerous,

how good it might have feIt.

Like having sex with white girIs?

Damn it, woman, wouId you just back off?!

Computerized voice: Attention angry black man in khakis.

GoIIy, I must have tripped or something.

Hi, Ton-ja.

Listen...

I was wondering, do you have any dickies?

'Cause I couIdn't find them.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Perhaps we're aII "sold out."

Aw, that's too bad.

Come on, Anton.

I saw a mock turtIeneck at Eddie Bauer

that's perfect for you.

Thanks for aII your heIp. Bye-bye, Ton-ja.

Bye-bye.

( screaming ) And action!

I want you...

to buy my new fried chicken, that is.

Sure enough.

l used to work for the Pentagon,

now l help you to get your chicken on.

And for a Iimited time onIy,

order an eight-piece Nappy MeaI,

and get a 32-ounce maIt Iiquor absoIuteIy free.

- ## You be buyin' ## - ## "Yeah, yeah" ##

- ## We be frying ## - Woo-woo!

## "General's chicken" ##

## "The best chicken" "in the 'hood" ##

## Yeah, yeah ##

- ## Legs, breasts and thighs ## - Mm-hmm.

## "Sweet potato pies" ##

- ## "General's Fried Chicken" ## - GeneraI: "Lord have mercy."

## "General's Fried Chicken" ##

## "lt's butt kickin'" ##

## "General's Fried" ##

## "You know it tastes so good" ##

Announcer: lntroducing the Nappy Meal from G.F.C.

This chicken is the bomb.

At the General's, we do chicken right-on!

WiII you Iook at that?

The GeneraI's Iost his damn mind.

He's making a fooI out of himseIf over this crap.

Lance: ## "General's Fried Chicken" ##

## "lt's butt kickin'" ##

## Hey, hey ##

What? lt's catchy.

Reminds me of the Fresh Prince.

I Iike him. He raps happy.

Chief: Excuse me, sir. This is a restricted-- good God!

- Heya, Chiefster. Lance. - Nice pants.

- Undercover Brother? - Undercover Brother?

- What happened to you? - He had sex with a white girI, that's what!

Was it everything I dreamed of? It was good.

She had pink nippIes? Big ones.

- Yeah, big ones. - Yeah.

Chief: "Her carpet" matched her drapes? Excuse me?

- No, man. You can't be doing that. - What were you doing?

- White girI or no white girI, where the heII have you been? - Not there,

'cause that's where peopIe who swear go. Thank you very much.

You sound Iike a 14-year-oId white chick.

I don't think so, Sister GirI.

It's Sistah GirI, "dude."

Maybe on PIanet Ebonics. But where I come from,

we Iike to pronounce our E's and our R's,

thank you very much.

E's and R's?

Ebonics, huh? l be thinking

that somebody in this room is seIIing out.

I say we kiII him. Shut the door, nigga.

Shh, it's gonna be aII right, baby. Don't Iook!

I'm sorry, dawg, but you need-- Hey, buddy,

if I hadn't read that articIe in "Vanity Fair" on anger management,

I'd put away this guava- mango-broccoIi smoothie

- and put my foot in your patootie. - Patootie?

Now maybe you guys don't Iike the new me,

but I don't give a gosh darn.

For aII I care,

you can aII get the beejeebies out of here.

Now, if you'II excuse me, I must be going.

''Frasier'' is on.

''Frasier''?

Beejeebies?

He said he wouId stick his foot

up my so-caIIed ''patootie.'' Damn it.

I knew this couId happen.

You can onIy keep an agent undercover for so Iong

before he Ioses his identity.

HeII, no man can resist Iow interest Ioans

and non-fat Iattes forever.

And white women.

So wait, Iet me get this straight.

Whenever a bIack guy does weII,

starts wearing Dockers, buys a few CeIine Dion records,

and sIeeps with a white chick,

you automaticaIIy say he's soId out?

That's enough!

( scoffs ) AIways trying to shut the white man down.

That's right! That's right!

- Oh, that ain't right. - Sistah GirI: "What's the word?"

I was abIe to decode the data from MuItinationaI Inc.

The General is under the influence

of a psycho- hallucinogenic drug.

It's a mind controI drug, sir. Very powerfuI.

Very easy to use.

Good Lord.

With something Iike that, The Man couId controI every bIack person in America.

TheoreticaIIy, yes, but it wouId take years to administer the doses individuaIIy.

To be efficient, you'd need to develop

a huge distribution system.

( crunching )

( together ) The chicken!

I hate to say it,

if Undercover Brother don't get his shit together,

this may be one battIe we might Iose to The Man.

Smart Brother, am I gonna die?

## "Dumps like a truck--" "truck, truck" ##

## "All night long" ##

## "Let me see that thong" ##

Honey? Yeah?

Is this MichaeI BoIton's version of that "thong song?"

No, but I want that one.

I hear he got aII the funk that Sisqo missed.

Do you Iike this?

You know, usuaIIy I'm not into the heavy stuff,

but this is kinda catchy.

It is, isn't it? Yeah.

- I made us some sandwiches. - Extra mayo for me, pIease.

Freeze, sucka!

Put down the mayonnaise...

sIowIy.

It's that coIored girI, Ton-ja.

Now, Buffy the BIack Man SIayer, step away from the brotha.

- Bye, brother. - Come on.

- Bye. - "Move it."

- Be carefuI. - Let's go.

Why? So you can teII me what a seIIout I am again?

Oh, I don't judge peopIe by how they dress,

or what music they listen to.

But I remember a brother who wasn't afraid to be himseIf,

who taught me to foIIow my own funky path,

stand up for what l think is right.

Remember this?

PeneIope: lgnore her, Anton.

I'm aII the singIe white femaIe you'II ever need.

I want to. ReaIIy, I do.

AII day, but I can't.

I must be true to myseIf.

Look at that white girI. Are you crazy?

The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.

Corduroys are so comfortabIe.

Got to get funky.

## Hey, macarena, aII right! ##

I can't throw this away.

'Cause Iike this medaIIion...

this brother's here to stay.

What's up, Sistah GirI? Look at you!

What took you so Iong?

- You don't think the heeIs are too much? - No, it's funktabuIous.

- 'Cause I was gonna go-- - "Hold it right there..."

Undercover Brother. Drop it!

- This woman just can't get-- - I meant the gun.

That's White She-DeviI,

The Man's secret weapon.

Sorry.

It's time to...

pIatform out of here.

Damn duck shoes.

Looks like we're in hot water.

Or hot sauce.

( screaming )

Come on! Come on.

Come on. It's not fair.

'N Sync!

Backstreet Boys!

And Boyz II Men! We reaIIy sing!

EIton John! BiIIie Jean King!

## "Look at her" ##

## "She's a bad mama jama" ##

## "Just as fine as she can be" ##

## "She's a bad mama jama..." ##

Come on, White She-DeviI. I been waiting.

Come on, baby. Come on!

## "Her body measurements are perfect" "in every dimension" ##

## "She's got a figure" "that's gonna bring attention" ##

## "She's poetry in motion" ##

## "A beautiful sight to see" ##

## "l get so excited" "viewing her anatomy" ##

## "She's built--" "oh, she's dynamic..." ##

- No, you didn't. - "Yes, l did."

( cat snarls )

Bitch!

You know how much this shit cost?

How much did this shit cost, you disco queen?!

- AII of this! - How dare you!

Hey!

Undercover Brother: Touch it. Now looky here.

( whistling )

Whew! Whew, baby!

Toast to the booty! Booty toast.

Oh, yeah!

Wait! Look at that.

## "...She's mighty mighty," "just letting it all hang out" ##

## "She's a brickhouse" ##

## "The lady's stacked," "and that's a fact" ##

- "( shudders )" - ## "Ain't holding nothing back" ##

## "Ow, she's a brickhouse..." ##

The water's coId. Water coId!

## "Now we're together," "everybody knows" ##

## "This is how the story goes..." ##

Nothin' Iike safe sex, you know what I'm saying?

Look at that. Look at that there.

Bitch!

You enjoy yourseIf?

WouId you stop fooIing around?

Got to get my cooI back!

( tires screech )

Can you pIay something funky for a brother to drive to?

( funk music playing )

Drive! Drive this thing!

Baby, it was made in the '70s.

This ain't no Ferrari.

## "Jungle boogie" ##

## "Jungle boogie" ##

## "Jungle boogie" ##

## "Jungle boogie..." ##

Damn. Look out, baby.

## "Jungle boogie" ## ## "Get up with the get down" ##

## "Jungle boogie" ##

- ## "Jungle boogie" ## - ## "Oh yeah" ##

## "Jungle boogie..." ##

( motorcycIe revs )

( music continuing )

( music stops )

You shouId have run her narrow ass over.

So, this has aII been some kind of jive game

- to get me out of the way? - "That's right."

I was sent to destroy you

and everything the Brotherhood stands for.

Damn it.

FaIIing in Iove with you wasn't part of the pIan.

Mmm.

Oh, Undercover Brother,

you're too much man for me.

Baby...

sometimes I'm too much man for my own damn seIf.

Mr. Feather, your status report, pIease.

AII the pieces of Operation Whitewash are in pIace.

Good. It's time to extend the reach

to bIack Ieaders in sports, the arts,

entertainment and business.

Soon all aspects of society

will once again be dominated by The Man.

It's time to strike the finaI bIow

against the Brotherhood.

So, when l return to the lair,

Undercover Brother better be dead.

- Are we cIear? - "Very good, sir."

With Undercover Brother dead,

the Brotherhood had best step correct,

or their next move wiII be their Iast.

( cIears throat ) Goodbye.

Can I ask you something?

Did I just say,

''They had best step correct''?

Yes, sir. You did.

You see what's happening?

You see how we're being corrupted by their

hip-and-now fashion, and their cooI sIang

you can't heIp but use. ''Don't be dissing me!''

- No! - ''It's aII that!''

You go, girI! What's the diIIio?

Who Iet the dogs out? Hoo-hoo-hoo!

Whatcha taIk about, WiIIis?

- You know what I'm saying?! - Uh...

LittIe by IittIe we're bIending

and merging untiI one day

we're aII going to be one united peopIe

Iiving and working and dancing together,

Iike the news or ''AIIy McBeaI,'' or the peopIe that work at Saturn!

And we've got to stop it before it's too Iate!

You heard The Man. As of now,

Operation Whitewash goes gIobaI.

Chief: Jay-Z is doing Lawrence Welk's Greatest Hits?!

John Singleton to remake ''Driving Miss Daisy''?!

Terry McMiIIan? ''How SteIIa Got Her White Man Back''?

DoubIe damn it!

BIack peopIe aII over the worId are Iosing their damn minds.

And Iook--

they've all been exposed to the General's fried chicken.

Smart Brother, how's it coming with this antidote?

I found one. But it onIy works on one person at a time.

We have to stop this thing at the source.

Undercover Brother, you're back!

( alarm blaring )

Hi.

HeII's wrong with you bringing a white girI in my house?

She's working with us now, Chief.

With my extensive and intimate knowIedge

of The Man's organization,

I can heIp you stop his eviI pIan.

Okay.

Smart Brother, take White She-DeviI to the Iab

and find out exactIy what she knows.

You know, you're cute in a Theo HuxtabIe kind of way.

ReaIIy? UsuaIIy I get AI Roker.

''Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods.''

Chief, various brother agents,

I owe aII of you a huge apoIogy.

I just watched this show...

''Roots''? Maybe you've heard of it?

It taught me such a profound Iesson about bigotry.

I have sat on the sideIines of race reIations Iong enough.

I want to march down that fieId of oppression

and kick that baII of bigotry

right over the goaIpost

of intoIerance.

( chuckIes )

Son, you taIk a Iot of shit. Yes, I do.

But you down.

What? Are you kidding?

You're going to Iet the white boy join just Iike that?

l was in secret agent school for three years!

Three years. I paid for them cIasses myseIf.

- You made me. - Smart Brother: "Chief. Chief."

I performed a fuII range spectraI anaIysis

on Miss White She-DeviI's brain waves.

Then, l unlocked her subconscious

using a speciaI form of hypnosis.

Then, I gentIy brushed her hair.

Then, l reached deep within

her tight IittIe pockets and I found a Iist

of The Man's targets.

Good Lord.

They're going after James Brown

tomorrow night at the Grammys.

We need to stop him. Find the General and give him the antidote.

That's right. It's goin' to the streets. Hey, y'aII!

It's revoIution up in this bitch!

Set the aIarm to def-con five!

It's on, baby. It's on.

- "Good work, White She-Devil." - Thanks.

Oh, you in too. What the fuck?! Chief!

l never see that bitch in my secret agent classes!

I'm stiII paying the Ioans off, man!

I sIeep on a pissy mattress.

I ain't got good food to eat!

I borrow money for my weed!

l quit. That's it.

Y'aII don't got Conspiracy Brother Jones to kick around anymore!

Give me a piIIow case! I'm joining the KIan.

Brother, we aII Iove your soIo enthusiasm,

but this is about working together.

Now, I've been a soIo star shooting the shots

that I thought wouId win the game.

But in workin' with y'aII,

I've come to reaIize

that onIy a team wins a championship.

Chief: Teamwork! That's right.

That's right. I'm sorry, everybody.

Teamwork! Now, Iet's go!

HustIe, hustIe! Come on, white girI!

( cheering )

Sistah GirI: Best of luck tonight.

Have a great time.

We know The Man pIans to make his move tonight.

Now, Lance, we're counting on you.

Don't get distracted, be focused.

Stick cIose to the target at aII times.

Roger. WiII do.

Boo. Ah.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, James Brown.

( crowd cheering )

- How you doing? - "James Brown."

- "l want to see my fans." - No, it's okay.

Wait a minute. What's going on?

Perimeter search. I'm on it.

What is that boy doing?

- "What's going on here?" - Hey, Jimmy.

What?

Now, "l" feeI good.

- God, man! - ( cheering continues )

Sistah GirI: Lance. Lance!

Announcer: The hardest working man in show business.

Go get him.

Announcer: Thank you, James Brown.

No! Hey! I just got promoted!

( groaning )

Mr. Feather: Hello, Mr. James Brown.

HeIIo-ooo, Mr. James Brown.

Ah!

Good God!

You will soon be administered a drug that will make you...

The signaI's stopped.

It's James Brown touchdown!

- That's James Brown? - That's mustard.

I can't beIieve I Iet him get away. I am so stupid.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

You got to stop beating yourseIf up.

We got to work together as a team, okay?

Yeah, man. Let the team do it.

I'm pIayin' with him.

Stop pIayin'. Hey!

Damn.

Hey, dawg. Hey.

You need to Iighten up.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Just be carefuI with this. If you smoke too much,

it's going to have you aII paranoid and shit.

It takes time to buiId up a toIerance Iike mine--

What? Did you hear that? Shh. Shh.

Hey, y'aII, did you hear something?

Shh, quiet! There it goes again.

( horn bIurting )

Guard: lncoming vehicle!

- Don't you move! - HoId it!

Don't you move!

- Identify yourseIf! - I'm with IsIand Fortress CIeaning Service, sir.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

- You so sweet. - "Just the janitors."

Let 'em through!

( coughs )

Smart Brother: Lance. Lance!

So, Mr. Godfather of SouI--

- ( snaps ) - ( squirts )

--Iife as you've known it wiII soon cease to exist.

- ( snaps ) - ( squirts )

( cIears throat ) Sorry.

Any finaI requests?

Say it Ioud.

Say it Ioud!

( gasps ) What's he doing?

Say it Ioud!

- Say it Ioud! - ( grunting )

Say it Ioud!

- Say it Ioud! - I'm bIack and I'm proud!

Hey, man, I want to get up and do my thing now.

## So good ##

## So good ##

## I got you... ##

- Oh. - ( gasping )

Hey!

I feeI good.

- ( microphone feedback ) - It's time for the big payback.

( guns cock )

Very cIever, Mr. Undercover Brother.

- Whoa. - Sistah GirI: "Can you dig it?"

Everything we'II need to take it to The Man.

Hey, this isn't Taco BeII.

Can you find out where the GeneraI is?

Just give me 10 minutes.

- "( alarm blaring )" - Conspiracy Brother: "Oh, shit!"

You've got one.

Mr. EIias: Intruders.

The Brotherhood has breached the communications room!

Everything's a party over here with you peopIe, isn't it?

That's not aII. The Man is on his way here.

Mr. Feather: What? Now?

His heIicopter wiII be here in five minutes.

Mr. EIias, wouId you kindIy take care

of the nuisance in the communication room?

Yes, sir. Come on, Iet's go!

Yes, sir. Right away.

- What have you done with the GeneraI? - GeneraI?

CouId you come in here, pIease?

GeneraI, if it's not too much of a bother,

wouId you mind terribIy, kiIIing this man?

Thank you.

So I can aIways have something to remember you by.

Come on, hurry up.

I wouIdn't move if I were you.

Damn! Oh, shit.

Get off of me. Sorry.

ExceIIent work, White She-DeviI.

Come here, baby.

Damn, that girI gets around.

How can you do this to me?

Once you've had Undercover Brother,

there is no other.

No, it's once you go bIack, you don't go back.

It's the honky patroI.

Let me do this.

Ah, Iook who got the gun now.

- Yeah. What's up?! - Hi.

- Shut up! - What?

I said shut up, whitey! I got the power.

Keep working.

This is a girI thing.

- Breakdance. - Break, what?

I said, breakdance. Come on.

Take it!

That's right. That's good.

Come on. Kid 'n PIay.

- Kid and who? - Come on.

That's right. Getting funky.

Oh, yeah.

I Iike bIack peopIe.

Oh, fight.

Watch yourseIf. Show 'em what you're working with.

Oh!

White She-DeviI, represent!

AII: Oh!

- Sistah GirI: Yeah. - I got him.

I got him! Vector four, section seven.

Come on, GeneraI, you got to give me that gun.

Nonsense! GeneraI, kiII him!

( mimicking gunshots )

Undercover Brother, are you okay?

Everything's cooI now that you're here.

Y'aII gonna make me Iose my mind up in here!

See what I've been deaIing with?

Yeah.

Situation compIete. We'II see you soon, Chief.

Atomic core, eh?

Let's see what this so-caIIed button does.

- ( alarm blaring ) - Computer voice: Attention,

atomic core set to overload.

My bad.

Here, GeneraI, take the antidote.

- Oh, what happened to me? - "( alarm continues )"

Damn!

You guys get the GeneraI out of here. I'm going after The Man.

Let's get whiIe the getting's good.

There'II be another day to fight The Man.

We can't give The Man another damn day!

But Sistah GirI's right. We got to get the heII out of here, man.

We're gonna die! We're aII gonna die!

- Dig it! Dig it hard! - Daddy!

There's times for faIIing apart, and there's times for getting funky.

This is one of those funky times!

So, what's it going to be?!

Are you ready to pIay some funky music, white boy?

SoIid.

Lay down the boogie.

It's time to take it to The Man.

I guess this means you and I are Iike brothers now, huh?

I feeI bIack.

Man, you Iook white!

Ow. Don't touch me!

Come on, GeneraI. Let's go.

Let's go! Let's get out of here!

- Come on! - Go. Come on, nigga.

Computer voice: Atomic core overload in five minutes.

Please exit in an orderly fashion.

Stop him!

( karate yeII )

Earth, wind and fire!

ShaquiIIe O'NeaI!

- Sisqo! - No-ooo!

( screams )

( crunch )

I just bought those.

Sorry about that.

It's aII over, man!

You want some drama?

Then bring it.

Lance, protect the GeneraI at aII costs.

Atomic core overload in three minutes.

Let me taIk to them. I'm white.

We don't want any troubIe.

What are you going to do about it?

Sissy.

I am not

a sissy!

Come on!

Oh. Ugh!

Lance.

He shouIdn't have caIIed me a sissy.

( neck cracks )

Conspiracy Brother: Not bad, whitey.

But if it was me, I wouId have ripped his spine out of his ass!

Let's go! We got Iess than a minute before this pIace bIows!

( Michael Jackson's ''Beat lt'' playing )

## "They told him don't you ever" "come around here" ##

## "Don't wanna see your face," "you better disappear" ##

## "The fire's in their eyes" "and their words are really clear" ##

## "So beat it, just beat it" ##

## "You better run," "you better do what you can" ##

## "Don't wanna see no blood," "don't be a macho man" ##

## "You wanna be tough," "better do what you can" ##

## "So beat it," "but you wanna be bad" ##

## "Just beat it, beat it" ##

## "Beat it, beat it" ##

## "No one wants to be defeated" ##

## "Showin' how funky" "and strong is your fight" ##

## "lt doesn't matter" "who's wrong or right" ##

## "Just beat it" ##

## "Just beat it" ##

## "Just beat it" ##

## "Just beat it" ##

## "You have to show them" "that you're really not scared" ##

## "You're playin' with your life," ##

## "This ain't no truth or dare" ##

## "They'll kick you," "then they beat you" ##

## "Then they'll tell you it's fair" ##

## "So beat it," "but you wanna be bad" ##

## "Just beat it" ##

## "Beat it..." ##

- GeneraI, sir, are you aII right? - Yes.

There he is! Undercover Brother!

He's only got a few seconds!

- "( music stops )" - Oops.

You mess with the 'fro, you got to go.

( squeaIs )

( chuckIes, yeIIs )

I beIieve this beIongs to me.

( Iaughs )

So Iong, Undercover Brother.

He's faiIed me.

Leave him.

Hey! Don't be dissing me!

( sputtering )

Hey! Let me in!

Let me up!

( screams )

That Feather went out Iike a sucka.

Punk ass bitch pIayed himseIf.

Let's bounce, dawg.

( screaming )

No! He doesn't have his parachute!

( cheering )

- Yeah. - ( appIause )

Smart Brother: Come on over here. Hug me.

## "What you knowin'" ##

## "To be real" ##

## "What you thinkin'" ##

## "l think l love you, baby..." ##

Undercover Brother, you the baddest.

Didn't I bIow your mind this time?

Didn't I?

Didn't you cause about a baziIIion doIIars worth of damage?

And I sure as heII ain't covering for you!

I don't give a damn how sexy you Iook

fIoating down in your IittIe pants!

And as for the rest of you...

I just want to say

how very proud I am of aII of you.

( clears throat )

Undercover Brother, the worId is safe once again

thanks to you.

No thanks to me, Chief.

I couIdn't have done it without Sistah GirI.

You know what they say,

''Behind every great bIack man--''

Is the poIice.

-"Uh, no, no." - A bunch of sIow white athIetes?

- "No." - A cute butt?

- ProbabIe cause? - "No!"

A strong bIack woman.

- "Strong black woman." - That's right.

Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.

It wouId've been cooI to have a Latino,

a Native American, Asian,

even a Jewish guy in the mix.

The point is, by working together as one,

we got the job done.

No doubt, that's what the Brotherhood is aII about.

SoIid.

Oh!

Look out, y'aII, faIIin' rocks!

Shotgun!

Narrator: Having stopped Operation Whitewash,

the Brotherhood distributed an antidote to the mind control drug

to black people nationwide.

And though The Man escaped,

the Brotherhood had found their hero.

Thanks to Undercover Brother,

the world was once again a funky place.

## "We want the funk," "give up the funk" ##

- ## "Everybody say" ## - ## "We need the funk" ##

## "We got to have that funk" ##

## "A is for apples and J is for jack" ##

## "P is for punk" "that's right as smack" ##

## "On track with this phat rap" that l put down for you

## "All around the world" "is the big dog pound for you" ##

## "ln bump we thrust and trust" ##

## "Man, you can't funk with us" ##

## "Cold as a motha'," "all the women love him" ##

## "'Cause they just want a piece" "of the Undercover Brother" ##

## "They'll take him home tonight" "'cause he's so dynamite" ##

## "Sort of like dolomite," "is that right? Show you right" ##

## "l got a little something" "for groupies" ##

## "Snoopy Doopy" "and Uncle Boosty" ##

## "Turn me loose" ##

## "l'm just funkin'" "with my nephew Snoop" ##

## "Where did you get" "your funk, bro'?" ##

## "Let's get ready to shoop" ##

- ## "l got to do it" ## - ## "Undercover Brother" ##

## "The one you will discover" ##

## "You can't worry" "what people tell you" ##

## "Yeah, baby" ##

## "We want the funk" ##

## "Get up off the funk." ####

( clapping )

## "Work and work" ##

## "Well, those cars" "never seem to stop comin'" ##

## "Work and work" ##

## "Keep those rags" "and machines hummin'" ##

## "Get them washed" "right away" ##

- ## "At the car wash" ## - ## "Talkin' about the car wash" ##

## "Car wash, yeah" ##

## "Sing it with feelin', y'all" ##

## "Cash wash, yeah" ##

## "Ooh-oh-oh" ##

## "At the car wash" ##

## "Car wash, yeah" ##

## "Car wash" ##

## "Car wash, yeah." ####

## "Whatever happened" ##

## "To the brotherman?" ##

## "Livin' on the streets" ##

## "Sometimes l wonder" ##

## "What he's doing," "'cause it could have been me" ##

## "Praises to the make-up" "off the times we used to know" ##

## "And thinkin' 'bout" "the good days" ##

## "Set his mind to let them go" ##

## "Trouble runnin' 'round" ##

## "And life ain't what it used to be" ##

## "Now God" "has blessed America" ##

## "And some to you and me" ##

## "Whatever happened" "to the brotherman?" ##

## "Livin' on the streets" ##

## "Sometimes l wonder" "what he's doin'" ##

## "'Cause it could" "have been me" ##

## "Whatever happened" "to the wonderful fantasy?" ##

## "When mother used to watch us" "with a smilin' face" ##

## "Smilin' face" ##

## "Oh, we're standing" ##

## "ln the wrong direction" ##

## "And we need" "a little affection, yeah" ##

## "And if you dig this song" ##

## "Better let me know" ##

- ## "Please let me know" ## - ## "Don't let me go" ##

## "Don't let me go" ##

## "Whatever happened" "to the brotherman?" ##

## "Livin' on the streets" ##

## "Sometimes l wonder" "what he's doin'" ##

## "'Cause it could" "have been me" ##

## "Whatever happened" "to the wonderful fantasy?" ##

## "When mother used to watch us"##

- ## "With a smilin' face" ## - ## "Smilin' face" ##

## "We complaining 'cause we livin'" "in the greatest nation" ##

## "We should be thankful," "livin' large" ##

## "Bringing celebration" ##

## "America, now where's" "your appreciation?" ##

## "Whatever happened" "to the brotherman?" ##

## "Livin' on the streets" ##

## "Sometimes l wonder" "what he's doin'" ##

## "'Cause it could" "have been me" ##

## "Whatever happened" "to the wonderful fantasy?" ##

## "When mother used to watch us" "with a smilin' face..." ####

## "All... night... long" ##

## "All... night... long." ##

( knock on door )

Damn, who is that?

HoId that thought and that feeIin', baby.

Just Iet it percoIate. I'II be right back.

- ( knocking continues ) - "Hurry up, baby."

Hi.

Uh, White She-DeviI, what you doing here?

Remember? You told me to come over.

And me and you and Sistah GirI

couId make Oreos.

Shh.

Sweet and bIack on both sides

with a dreamy white fiIIing in the middIe.

Then l realized-- you can't make Oreos.

So, I bought some.

Some peopIe got jungIe fever. She got the fIu.

- You know. - U.B.!

## "All... night... long" ##

## "l can't wait" "to love you, baby" ##

## "All... night... long." ####

## "Rapp Payback" ##

## "Oh..." ##

## "Hit me" ##

## "Rapp payback" ##

## "Little Jerry" ##

## "l know you've heard" "the master jiggy out" ##

## "l know you've heard" "the master jiggy out" ##

## "Dance, oh yes" ##

## "Although you got it" ##

## "Out there..." ##

## "Payback, l'm mad" ##

## "Lay down" ##

## "l'm mad" ##

- ## "Payback, ain't it?" ## - ## "Payback" ##

## "Man, good God," "wait a minute" ##

## "Hey, l..." ##

## "Saved ya" ##

## "Take me back" ##

## "We going back" ##

## "Payback" ##

## "Payback." ##

Undercover Brother: Solid.