Original subtitles

♪ So I break down the walls that I made ♪

♪ Won't hold back, I'm here to stay ♪

[upbeat musical transition]

Alright, guys, we have to make this look great, okay?

My dad will not stop asking me where my basketball pictures are.

[Pepper] Nice. Uh-huh. Okay, work it, work it.

I see you. Okay. Uh-huh.

Oh! Papa gonna love these.

If you want your dad to believe you're on the basketball team,

maybe don't hold the basketball like a football.

Right, right, yeah.

And, um… [clears throat] How-- how is that? How do you--

-Comin' in hot! Beep beep! -How is that?

Coming through!

[automated voice] You have arrived. Please dismount the scooter gently. Ugh! Ah!

[exhales] Sorry, I'm late. My car wouldn't start again.

Crazy idea. Maybe fix it.

I would, but my money's all tied up in things like food and rent.

It's too bad you don't have a rich sister named Tori.

[scoffs] Qwest, she does.

Look, I don't have a lot of boundaries or standards or believe in rules.

Our teacher, ladies and gentlemen.

[claps]

But there is one rule that I will not break,

and that is asking my sister for money.

That's stupid. How come?

Because I know myself.

Within one week of asking Tori for money,

I will be fun-employed, glued to the couch,

living a zero-responsibility life.

I fail to see the negatives.

I've learned that I just am happier when I have a purpose.

Ha! Man, I'm evolved.

Emmy, I want you to know when I'm rich and famous

and you're still struggling, you can always ask me for money.

I am so blessed.

You're welcome.

[Helen screams]

Should we maybe check on that?

-[Helen] You absolutely should! -Okay.

[groaning]

-Oh my God! -Hey!

Are you okay? Are you okay?

-I've been cut! -Where? Where?

In my budget!

Your budget? We thought you'd been stabbed!

I have! Financially!

Wait, our-our budget's been cut? By how much?

Let me think in my little calculator. Beep, beep, bop, boop. All of it!

How is that possible?

I'm gonna explain this with what little time I have left.

Not dying.

Our school is funded by one extremely wealthy donor,

Laurel Von Garland.

Three names? [whistles]

-She is rich. -Yeah.

Now for years, Laurel's annual check has kept us afloat,

but she's decided she's gonna shift all of her philanthropic efforts

away from the arts and towards science.

Science? Hasn't been science at Hollywood Arts in years.

Unless you count the Oppenheimer musical we did.

♪ Oppenheimer, you have gone too far! ♪

♪ I know! ♪

Oh, Oscar, I think I'm gonna miss you most of all.

[whimpers]

But from now on, Ms. Von Garland is only donating to schools

that have actual science programs.

In her words, the arts are dead.

-[whimpering] -I know, you feel that? Yeah, you feel it.

-So what's gonna happen to Hollywood Arts? -Well, I do have some reserve funds.

-Oh, okay. -Get us through maybe two weeks.

-What? -Two weeks?

Yeah, yeah, then they're gonna shut us down!

It'll be curtains for Hollywood Arts.

Mm!

This is just like when they tried

to shut down the nuclear program in Oppenheimer: The Musical.

And five, six, seven, eight.

♪ They're shutting us down They're shutting us down ♪

♪ But you're so close To finishing the job ♪

♪ I know! ♪

Dr. Peterson, I can't be the only patient

that had their budget cut.

Uh-huh, it's down by the spleen.

Mm-hmm, it's very spleen-y.

Mm-hmm.

Not that I don't love watching it, but…

why are you doing push-ups?

If Hollywood Arts closes, we have to attend an… [gags]

…academic school.

What does that have to do with push-ups?

Have to build up my strength if I'm gonna fight the top dog

and turn the nerdiest girl in school into prom queen.

Yup, that's school, alright.

Wow, you guys are just gonna give up like that?

-Yeah. -Basically.

I think so.

-Okay, my entire career has been-- -A series of failures?

Full of obstacles.

Well, I have an idea.

I've been doing some research on this Laurel Von Garland,

and she has spent her whole life giving money to the arts.

So maybe we just have to remind her why she loves the arts so much

in the first place.

-And how are we supposed to do that? -Music!

Music has the power to change hearts.

What about that song we've been working on, "Born For This"?

We could sing it for her, together!

Come on, guys, what do you say?

Oscar, do your crickets thing.

[Oscar chirping]

[chuckles]

Okay, we can go with Emmy's cornball plan that kind of flopped.

Sorry, hon, but it did.

Or my idea that's fresh and exciting and everyone wants to hear.

Love that. I don't want to play basketball.

Miss Von Moneybags wants a school with a science program, right?

-Yeah. -Yes.

Then let's give her one.

We don't have a science program, you dingus.

But what we do have is a school full of talented kids!

Kids that build sets!

Kids that write scripts!

Actors that deliver lines!

Here's the plan.

We are going to make a fake science department

at Hollywood Arts and put on…

Science!

The play.

[all exclaiming softly]

We do still have some props and sets from Oppenheimer: The Musical we could use.

A five, six, seven, eight!

♪ Oppenheimer, it's exploding time! ♪

♪ I know! ♪

I am not corny, I am earnest

and whimsical and maybe a little corny.

[upbeat music playing]

[groans]

[music ends]

Ow!

[humming] Hey, can we get some more beakers?

Station three, thank you. What's up with the liquid nitrogen?

We need some more smoke! Come on, people! We got a school to save! Hello!

Wow! The Black Box Theater looks like a real science lab!

I know, right? Okay, did you talk to Principal Helen?

Yes, Laurel Von Garland is confirmed

for her tour of Hollywood Arts and Sciences tomorrow!

Great, we'll be done and ready to go with plenty of time.

-Okay, so how does this work? -Simple.

I, Hollywood Arts and Sciences student ambassador,

will be leading Miss Von Garland

through our state-of-the-art laboratory filled with emerging young scientists.

We should all do a run-through.

-I'll play Laurel Von Garland. -Sure, yeah, it's a little early,

but everybody should be ready, so pick anyone you want.

The reaction proceeds in accordance to the stoichiometric constraints

defined by the system.

Thanks, you look lovely as well.

And this is pedestrian, but quantum states remain indeterminate

until measurement collapses the way it functioned.

♪ Beaker girl, beaker girl ♪

♪ Living in a beaker world ♪

I hereby choose that young scholar!

What was that?

My Laurel Von Garland impression.

She's rich. Money makes people talk funny.

-Hello! -Hmm?

What a lovely young scientist!

Explain to me why I, a person of money,

would give this school one of my boatloads of cash.

Miss Von Garland,

science is about change.

Changing our world.

Now, you've seen a lot of impressive things today.

Things that were only possible

because of the strong science program here at Hollywood Arts and Sciences.

Would you mind holding this?

Labs like this weren't built in a day.

With our collective potential and your belief in us,

anything is possible.

We just need you to give us…

-the green. -Oh!

That's my best friend!

Oh, my!

-That was lovely! -[Pepper squeals]

Yeah, Pepper, you ate!

No crumbs!

If I had the money, I would give it to us.

First I would fix my car and get myself a sweet little treat,

but then I would give it to us.

[phone chimes]

-Oh my gosh! -What?

My pizza tracker said Maurice just put my pizza in the oven!

[phone chimes]

-Oh, and I just got another text. -About your stupid pizza again?

No, this is from Principal Helen!

Laurel Von Garland's coming a day early!

A day earlier than tomorrow?

Why, I'm no scientist, but I believe that's today!

Costumes, last looks, places, everybody!

Thank you, places!

-Oscar, where are you going? -I gotta get my wig!

Wig? We never agreed on a wig. There's no time!

Emmy! There's always time for a wig.

Method actors.

[in singsong] Hollywood Arts!

And Sciences.

Who wants a beaker? You do. Okay.

Oh-ho!

Pull the private jet around, I need to go to the bathroom to powder my nose.

Trina, stop! She's gonna be here any minute.

Where is the person who opens the doors?

I'm too rich to do it myself.

Okay, she's not gonna sound like that.

[Laurel Von Garland] Excuse me!

Where is the person who opens the door?

Ha! Told you!

Miss Von Gar-- [grunts]

Miss Von Garland.

-Welcome to Hollywood Arts-- -And Sciences!

Right.

This way!

Hm, it's cute.

[Emmy] Come on!

[Emmy exhales]

[light music playing]

[Emmy sighs]

That's right.

Okay, Miss Von Garland,

this is our state-of-the-art laboratory.

Now, we would love the chance to show you--

This way!

You, explain what you're doing.

Ah, didn't see you there.

This is one of our most promising young scientists, Qwestopherus.

Hello, Miss Garland.

I, Qwestopherus,

am currently working on an RNA replicator using CRISPR technology.

Your girlfriend must be very proud.

Girlfriend? [laughs]

I'm married to the lab.

Very good.

And over here, Miss Garland, you will find…

-Our resident hot girl scientist. -Sure.

Do tell me what you're working on.

Every hot girl scientist knows that the mitochondria

is the powerhouse of the cell.

It's where ATP is generated, for hotness' sake.

Come here, babe!

[conversation continuing faintly]

-[softly] What is it? -Greetings!

The name's Parnaby.

Why? Just, why?

No one would believe Oscar with his movie star looks could ever be a scientist.

So enter Parnaby.

Quite. So to speak. Frankly.

Can we at least lose the wig?

Impossible.

For you see, a medical-grade adhesive has bonded the hair and the scalp.

You glued it on?

-[snickers] Quite. So to speak. Frankly. -Oh, my…

Good heavens!

You are the smartest-looking person I've ever seen.

Thank you, ma'am.

My eyesight may be weak, but my hypotheses are strong.

I don't even have to see what you're working on to know it's important.

So what do you think so far, Miss Garland?

Well, I have to admit I'm impressed.

And I low-key ship young Qwestopherus and the Hot Girl Scientist.

That's great.

We do have one final presentation arranged for you.

Lovely, but first, where is the bathroom?

Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

Well, come.

I'm going to need someone to open the doors.

[Emmy] Mm-hmm.

[Emmy whimpers]

-How's it going? -I think we're nailing it.

-We actually gonna get that check signed! -Quite. So to speak. Frankly. [laughs]

This doing it for you too?

[chuckles, snorts] Yeah.

Rich lady bought it.

Hook, line and sinker.

We got that bag.

[whimsical music playing]

-Okay, take a break. I got this. -[inhales deeply]

Hi, why aren't you at your stations?

Relax, we nailed this.

And remember, Pepper's performance is flawless.

Unclench for once.

And what is your name, young lady?

I'm Pepper.

Well, I hope you're not too spicy, Pepper.

[laughing]

Why is Pepper's tongue blue?

[laughing]

Okay. Hate this giggling right away.

So, remember how you and Laurel were gone forever?

And remember how all the beakers were filled with different color liquids?

-[Oscar snickering] -Oh my God, get to it!

Pepper's like, "Do you dare me to drink the blue beaker?"

And we're all like, "No."

And she was like, "YOLO!" and drank it anyway.

[laughing]

Okay. Ha-ha. So, what's in her beaker now?

We mixed a bunch of rando chemicals from the janitor's closet until we got blue.

Rando chemicals? Guys, that was supposed to just be water and food coloring.

Blue is blue, Emmy.

Okay, but the yellow beaker is still just water, yes?

[laughing]

Hey, hey, you guys telling her?

-Telling me what? -Wassup!

You drank it?

[laughing]

Guys! So she's just about to mix a bunch of random chemicals together?

Yeah!

Wait…

We don't know science, is that bad?

Maybe not.

But with our collective potential and your belief in us,

anything is possible.

We just need you to give Hollywood Arts…

-The red? -Oh, no.

Oh, okay.

[dramatic music playing]

[explodes]

[yells]

[gasps]

Something tells me she's not about to give us the money.

Quite.

Give me those.

I can't resist drinking blue things.

Sue me!

-[yelling] -[indistinct chatter]

Oh, slow down, Von Garland. I'm so sorry that our students… What did you guys do?

-We blew her up. -Blew her up?

Okay, listen. If you give us the money, I'll expel all of them right now.

These students are nothing but tricksters. They're not scientists at all,

but common thespians trying to make a buck off a simple old lady.

Now, please, take me to the private wing of the hospital my family owns.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, okay.

Alright, yeah, you caught us.

We are Hollywood Arts, not Hollywood Arts and Sciences.

But what's your problem with the arts?

You've been donating to our school for years.

Well, I've always dreamed of being an artist.

And supporting this school was the closest I could get.

But after all these years, what do I have to show for it?

No, it's-it's time to let go of foolish dreams

and focus my money on something that can actually change the world.

Science!

What? Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, yes.

Yeah, science can change the world, but--

but you know the arts can change your life.

Trust me, I was a techie up until a few weeks ago,

then an amazing teacher came in and convinced me to take the stage.

And-and now I feel like I'm on a path

to becoming exactly who I'm supposed to be.

I'm the great teacher she's referencing.

And I'm the principal who begrudgingly hired her.

Emmy's not the only one whose life has been changed by this school either.

This school is filled with kids who have stories just like hers.

And one who arrived fully formed, just here to inspire others.

And ones whose ears are ringing because of the explosion.

What's everybody saying?

This school has produced world-famous artists, like Tori Vega.

Could you imagine if she had gone to a regular school?

Enough! What will it take for you students to get out of my way

so I can receive medical attention?

Let us sing for you.

It's what we should have done in the first place, right, guys?

We have been working on a song we're proud of.

Just give us five minutes, please.

-Please. -Yeah, come on.

[gentle music playing]

Oh, very well.

Yes!

Oh, yeah!

-To the theater! -Yeah!

-Yeah! -Let's go!

[screams]

Oh, no! We're sorry, we're sorry!

[overlapping shouting]

[soft music playing]

♪ The spotlight's far away ♪

♪ I'm just a shadow on the stage ♪

♪ But I can't wait another day ♪

♪ Where's the role I was destined to play? ♪

♪ I'm tired of losing to myself ♪

♪ A queen that plays a pawn ♪

♪ Now I'm barely hanging on ♪

[music turns upbeat]

♪ Another dream no one can see ♪

♪ Can't help but think More was meant for me ♪

♪ I keep my heart out on a leash ♪

♪ It's time that I break free ♪

♪ No more dreams ♪

♪ Now I make believe ♪

♪ It's unwritten but it's in the stars ♪

♪ Yeah, it's giving Sunset Boulevard ♪

♪ Now I'm living 'Cause the pieces finally fit ♪

♪ I was born for this ♪

-♪ I was born for this ♪ -♪ I was born for this ♪

♪ I was born for this ♪

-♪ I was born ♪ -♪ I was born for this ♪

-♪ I was born ♪ -♪ I was born ♪

-♪ I was born ♪ -♪ I was born ♪

♪ For this ♪

[slow clapping]

That was absolutely beautiful.

-Yeah! -Does that mean you'll give us the money?

-I would be delighted to. -[shrieks]

[cheering]

If I had any money.

-What? -Say what, now?

Wait, sorry, what-what do you mean?

You're a billionaire.

I was and then I got into science and blew it all.

What do you mean you blew it all, you old bat?

-Okay. -I spent every dime

so I could go on a rocket ship into space with Katheryn Perry.

They didn't even get to space!

I know that now.

No, no, no, wait a minute.

If you don't have any money, why did you agree to come visit?

Well, that's what broke billionaires do.

We go on tours like this to make it appear that we're still rich.

So…

Hollywood Arts is…

done?

[somber music playing]

I could be a welder.

I always thought I'd make a good welder.

You would make a great welder, Pep.

Thanks.

What is a welder?

I guess I'll have to become a high-powered corporate lawyer

for Big Oil at my mom's firm.

I'll be really good at it and make a ton of money.

But you can't dance in court.

Unless…

[all] You're doing the musical Chicago.

Yeah.

-[horn honks] -Hot teacher, coming through!

You have arrived. And please don't throw me

on top of the other scoo-- Ugh! And don't throw your helmet. Ah!

Car's still broken.

Yada, yada, you know the drill.

Butts up, you mopes! Let's get some character study going!

[groans] What's the point?

-School shuts down in two weeks. -Pepper's gonna have to become a welder!

It's true.

I belong to the welderness now.

Oh, come on! The lights are still on!

As long as I can teach you guys, I will teach you guys.

[Helen screams]

I've had a stroke!

[groans]

A stroke of good luck, that is!

[Helen laughs] An anonymous donor has agreed to pay for Hollywood Arts

for at least four more seasons. I mean, four more years.

-[cheering] -That's not even the best part!

The donor sent this giant check! I couldn't even fit it through the door!

It's in the hallway, come see!

No way!

[chanting] Big check, big check!

Big check, big check!

Big check, big check!

Anonymous donor, huh?

Yeah. Really worked out.

You called your sister.

Emmy, I told you I would never call Tori and ask for money for myself.

Okay.

-Would you call and ask if it was for us? -No!

But I might text.

After watching some really talented kids sing their absolute hearts out!

[Trina chuckles]

-Thank you. -Anytime. Now let's go see that big check!

Big check! Big check!

Big check! Big check!

[upbeat music playing]

[bright music playing]

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