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Original subtitles

♪ So I break down the walls that I made! ♪

♪ Won't hold back, I'm here to stay! ♪

[upbeat music playing]

[school bell ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, what's up?

Be cool.

-What's with the getup? -Why hushed tones?

Are you in danger? Are we in danger?

The only thing I'm in danger of is being mobbed.

-What? By who? -Paparazzi?

Fans?

Long-lost family asking for money?

Take your pick.

-Everyone else as confused as I am? -Lost.

-Yeah. -Okay.

Remember when I had to miss a bunch of school to film a role

in that show, It's Always Something?

-You missed half a day. -Back by lunch.

Well… [chuckles] …my agent, Brad Branzino,

just let me know that my episode airs tonight.

This is how celebrities dress when they don't want to get recognized.

You had one line.

One line and a close-up reaction shot, so, yeah.

Jen, everybody at this school knows who you are.

I don't think your disguise is gonna fool anybody.

Hey, guys. Who's the new chick?

It's Jen.

Heh! Fooled me.

Listen. I know I'm about to be a huge TV star and all,

but I also really want to keep living a normal life.

No extra attention. That being said, I'm throwing a huge viewing party

in the Black Box Theater, and if you don't come you're dead to me!

-Absolutely. I'll bring popcorn. -I'm excited.

Howdy doodie, studies!

What? No pictures!

-What's up, Mr. S. -There he is!

Are you teaching that puppetry workshop this week?

Yeppily deppily!

And I'm going to stop talking like that now.

Wow! They really let anyone teach here now, huh?

Trina, haven't seen you here, you know, before the bell rings.

[school bell rings]

Ah, the bell. Come, friends, follow your charming mentor.

Okay.

-Oh. Sorry, I'm just gonna-- -Robbie.

I want to congratulate you.

Oh, thanks, that means a lot.

-Uh, for what? -Hmm.

The kids really like you.

I mean, word is that you are their second favorite teacher.

[chuckles] Distant second, but still.

Well, the competition is stiff.

A-thank you.

Okay, I'm just gonna squeeze…

I've been looking for a more permanent gig.

-It'd be great if it was here. -Oh, I would love that.

I mean, they would love that. The kids! The kids. [laughs]

Those little bozos, they can't get enough of you.

Especially that sassy redhead, Emmy.

Wow, I am invisible.

Well, I should get to class.

Mm, same.

Catch you on the flippy, my hippie. Ah!

"Flippy, my hippie"?

Ooh! Thank God no one else heard that.

-Hey, Trina! -Ooh!

Emmy! You can't just sneak up on people like that.

I have actually been here the whole time.

You just didn't notice 'cause you were too hippie-dippy for Mr. S-ie.

There is nothing between us.

Yes, there is. I can tell because I was literally just between you.

No, it doesn't matter because he's still with Kim from Boba Baby.

But it's fine 'cause I'm super chill about it.

No, I can tell you're super chill about it by the way you said "Kim from Boba Baby."

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Kim from Boba Baby ♪

♪ Kim from Boba Baby ♪

♪ Kim from Boba Baby ♪

♪ Kim from Boba Baby ♪

Great to see so many students interested in learning about puppetry.

"Yeah, a whole seven students. You really packed 'em in today, Rob."

Now, the key to puppetry is losing yourself in your puppet.

Don't think, just turn your mind off

and let your puppet talk.

"Doo-doo butt!"

Rex!

I have a question.

Oh! No, no, no. In puppetry class, only our puppets can talk.

And remember, don't think, just let your puppet talk.

"I got a question for you, young man."

Emmy, that was really good.

Thanks, I'm a little shocked myself--

"I was talking!"

"Whatever happened to you and that little blonde number from Boba Baby?"

Well, I don't think I should be discussing my personal dating life with you guys.

"She dumped him. Wasn't feelin' it."

We broke up.

"You don't say."

[both] Hmm.

"Looks like your girl is playing matchmaker this week."

Well, after I finish my homework.

Oh, who am I kidding? Let's go!

[upbeat music playing]

Did you guys know Americans swallow at least five socks a year?

-What? -What?

-Whoa! -[Jen grumbles]

Oh, Jen! I have a fun fact that involves Americans, socks, and the number five.

Jen, Jen, Jen.

Jen, Jen, Jen.

-Jen-- -What?

Ooh, she angry.

-What's wrong, Jenny girl? -Got…

cut!

-We can't hear what you're saying. -What?

Breathe with your diaphragm and then use your nasal resonance to project.

[screaming] I got cut!

Yeah, like that.

-I just got a call from my agent. -[all] Brad Branzino.

Yeah.

He said my scene in that show, It's Always Something, got… cut.

What? Well, did Brad Branzino tell you why?

Brad Branzino did not.

-Jen, this happens all the time. -Yeah, you'll book other roles.

You still got your party to cheer you up.

Oh my God, my party!

Remember? The one you invited everyone to?

To show them the scene that you're in.

Jen? Jen?

Jen? Jen? Jen? Where's she going?

-Trina, I gotta tell you something. -On my way to yoga.

-Robbie broke up with Kim. -Tell me everything.

What about yoga?

This is just so people think I do yoga.

I got a foot-long sub in here.

Now talk.

He's single, you're single, you like him,

and he is walking down the hallway.

"Aw, that's crisp."

Go, talk to him. Don't be nervous.

Nervous? I am the queen of flirting.

Watch and learn.

[in sleazy tone] Hey, Robert. [in normal tone] Um! Hi, Robbie.

-Hey, Trina. Heading to yoga? -[chuckles]

I go yoga.

To yoga. I go to yoga. There it is.

[Trina giggles]

Is that a sandwich?

-No. -"Yeah, it is, I can smell it."

"Now I can see it."

Anyways, any plans tonight?

I'm hosting a puppet party with some other ventriloquists at Boba Baby.

Oh, a puppet party.

[Trina giggles]

Cool.

"Yeah, I'mma slide into so many puppet DMs."

Alright, well, see ya.

Wouldn't wanna be ya.

Ooh!

Oh, my God, are you okay?

Yep! [awkward chuckle]

Go, team!

Okay. Later!

[moans]

[whimpers] Help…

Please.

Yep.

-[Trina moans] -Right.

[Trina] Ow. Ow. [whimpers]

I know it probably went worse in my head than in reality, but it feels like I did

a really bad job of flirting with Robbie,

then Moonwalked into the splits onto a sandwich I said I didn't have.

No, that's pretty accurate.

Ugh! Do you think he noticed?

I mean, he was there.

Look, you just gotta try again.

And what? Backflip onto a burrito?

I clearly can't talk to this guy.

Maybe you don't have to.

Oh, good plan.

I'll never talk to him again.

No, see, Robbie's been teaching us about puppetry.

Ew.

Now, the key is to not think and just let your puppet do all the talking.

The dumbest thing I've ever heard.

"You wanna know the dumbest thing I ever heard?"

"Mixing pickles and peanut butter."

"And then, one day,

dippy dippy, bitey bitey, yummy yummy."

-Where did that come from? -I just let the puppet do all the talking.

And you can do the same thing tonight at the puppet party.

You know, you might not be able to talk to Robbie, but… your puppet can.

What puppet? I don't have a puppet.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Well, go on. Pick one.

You think I'm just gonna pick a puppet

and it's gonna talk for me?

[in French accent] "Oui, oui! Why so surprised, mon cherie?"

Great French accent, Trina.

I can't do a French accent.

[in thick American accent] Bonjour. Croissant.

[in French accent] "It's bonjour and croissant,

you stupid American."

This is, how you say…

awesome!

I know, right? The same exact thing happened to me.

And now you don't have to talk to Robbie. Your puppet can.

"I have a name. Sabine."

"Sabine, my name is Fran."

"You and I are gonna tear it up at the puppet party."

-[giggles] -Alright, Dad. I gotta go hit the showers

and think about how to improve myself as a better basketball player.

Nice swash today, my guy.

[laughs] I think you mean swish.

Alright, bye, Pops.

Swash?

I need these scripts sooner.

[suspenseful music playing]

We got a big problem.

"I'm sorry,

your table is no longer available."

No, that was wrong.

Take 237.

"I'm sorry, your table is no longer available!"

Is that her line that got cut?

And a reaction shot. Yes.

Take 238!

[angrily] "I'm sorry, your table is no longer available."

She's been in there for hours,

saying that line over and over again.

I think I can help her.

Jen, stop.

[bawling] "I'm sorry, your table is no longer available."

Well, I've tried everything.

[sighs] We have to do something.

Like what? We can't just put her back in the show.

Unless…

-U-Unless what? -I dunno, I was hoping you had something.

The footage of her on the show must exist somewhere, right?

There's always a director's cut that has everything,

but no way of getting that.

[both] Unless…

Unless we snuck into the editing bay of It's Always Something

and got the director's cut.

-But that's too risky. -[both] Unless…

Unless we went after hours right now so we'd have the footage

in time for her party.

-[both] Unless… -No more unlesses, that's the plan.

[upbeat musical transition]

[both] Unless…

-I got nothing. -I love you.

[indistinct chatter]

Next.

Hi, we're here for the, um… puppet party. [laughs]

"And is there a bathroom in there?"

Of course, come on in.

"Hold on, toots. No one gets in without a puppet."

"Oh, thank you so much for releasing me from that purse."

"There is a tuna sandwich in there."

[puppet grunts]

You always keep a sandwich on hand?

Am I a prepared adult woman? Why, yes, I am.

Let's party.

[upbeat musical transition]

Told you it'd be cool for us all to poke our heads out at the same time.

You're right, it was kind of fun.

Just like in the movies.

[all giggle]

[suspenseful music playing]

Something tells me this is the It's Always Something editing bay.

-Is it that sign right there? -No, a lady's intuition.

This place is deserted. Let's get in there, get the tape, and get out.

And deal with whatever comedic situations we encounter.

This isn't an episode of It's Always Something. This is real life.

[mysterious music playing]

Mmm. There's a dude in there.

Oh.

It's always something!

[whispers] Shut up.

You said this place would be deserted.

-It's late, I thought it would be! -What a comedic complication!

Bigger problem.

The guy in there…

[gasps] He's dead?

Yes. Dead asleep.

-What was the confusion? -Ugh.

New plan. We get in there, we get the file, and we be as quiet as possible.

And deal with whatever comedic surprises we encounter.

-You are tap-dancing on my last nerve. -Okay.

[man snoring]

-[snores] -[crunches]

[whispers] Chips. Careful.

[bubble wrap popping]

[whispers] Bubble wrap.

-[clanking, clattering] -[snoring continues]

[softly] I knocked over the TV.

[snoring]

[automated voice] Face not recognized.

[snores]

[computer chimes]

[softly] Oh! There it is! Director's cut.

Move right here and…

[computer chimes]

[snores]

-Run! -[Pepper squeals softly]

And my third favorite sword is a scimitar.

"Dude, stop talking about swords. She's not feeling it."

"And your breath's a little dry."

Okay, I just did a full lap and Robbie's not here.

And this place is full of weirdos.

Pretty sure that guy just took his sock off to get in here.

Ugh.

You don't think Robbie just said he was coming to this party

to avoid going out with me, do you?

-Hey! -[guests] Hey!

-Hey! -Hey, Rex!

I do not.

Okay, go talk to him.

Trina.

Tri--

Trina! Okay.

What is wrong?

I can't do this.

Yes, you can.

Just let your puppet do all the talking.

And I'm gonna be here the whole time with you, so don't worry.

[phone chiming]

-Actually, I gotta go. -What?

Yeah, Pepper, Oscar, and Qwest snuck into a studio lot

and got Jen's cut scene from It's Always Something.

-My students are wacky. -They need me to run the tech

for the viewing party, but you got this. Good luck.

"You're gonna need it."

-[Emmy scoffs] Great. -Oh!

What am I doing?

I am hiding under a table afraid to talk to a guy.

"Listen to me, Trina."

"Look deep into my closed eyes."

"You got zis!"

I do not got zis!

"Shut your beautiful American mouth!"

"And walk your beautiful American legs over to this man

and let Sabine do the talking."

"Now!"

Oh.

"I don't like swords."

[chuckles] Technically, a scimitar is more of a saber.

"Technically, you should get the heck out of my face."

Trina? What-- What are you doing here?

Oh, you know, just kicking it.

[drink spills]

"Oh, she's worse than the sword kid. Let's go get some shrimp."

"Leaving so soon?"

[romantic accordion waltz music playing]

"Bonjour, mademoiselle."

Trina, I didn't know you liked puppets.

"Sometimes, how people feel about something or someone can change."

"My feelings about this party have definitely changed."

"Enchante, babydoll."

You're really good.

You know, I just let Sabine here do the talking.

-That's what I always tell my students. -"And your students tell me you are…

how you say, single, ready to,

how you say, mingle?"

Oh, um…

Yeah, I guess I am.

"Oh, he's alone, alright. Cries himself to sleep every night."

Not every night.

"Well, I happen to also know a sad lonely person."

"Sad and lonely."

"But also beautiful, smart, funny."

"Uh, about… yea high."

"Oh my God, Rob, we're getting hit on!"

"I call the Frenchie."

Rex, stop. Trina doesn't feel that way about me.

She made that very clear.

"Oh, like I said a moment ago, people change."

"Mind if I cut in?"

[all in unison] Go away!

[upbeat musical transition]

Okay, Qwest is coming with Jen. Are we ready to roll?

Yeah, we're good.

Why is the screen still black?

-[taps] -[electricity crackles]

Oh! Dang, my best friend is cool.

Take 862.

[in groggy tone] "I'm sorry, your table is no longer available."

-We got her. -Start the show.

[clears throat]

Everybody, without further ado,

making a television debut,

yabba dabba doo, Jen Z!

-[audience clapping] -Yeah, Jen!

[cheering]

What are you guys doing? I was cut! Turn it off!

-We got you. -Just trust us.

Yeah, come on, sit down.

Okay.

-Whoa! -Whoa, hey!

-Hey, hey, hey! -No! Jen, stop it, stop it!

-Stop kicking! -Hey, chill, relax, relax.

[sighs] Okay. They'll never find me in here.

-[Emmy] I just heard her! -[Qwest] She's in the cube!

[screams]

"You two mouth-breathers gonna say something or just stare at each other?"

I…

You… We--

"Robbie. If I may…"

No, no, no. Sabine, I got this.

"Oh! Well then."

Robbie, ever since you sang that song,

I kinda haven't been able to stop thinking about you.

You are the exact opposite of what I look for in a guy.

Okay, ouch.

No, no, no, hear me out.

I realized I've been looking for the wrong guy.

What I should have been looking for is… you.

"Dang, can't believe I used to hate you, Trina."

Trina, I…

Wait… Oh, this is bad.

Okay, ouch.

No, no, not you, definitely not you.

You know how I said I was looking for a teaching job?

-Yeah. -Well, I just got offered one.

[gasps] That's great!

-And it's full time. -That's amazing!

But it's in New Zealand.

That's…

Oh.

It's a really big opportunity for me. When they offered it to me,

I didn't know how you felt about me. If I did, I might not have taken it--

Robbie…

They are so lucky to have you.

-[romantic accordion waltz plays] -[Sabine and Rex moan softly]

-[Rex] "You smell good." -[Sabine] "Oh, thank you."

[romantic accordion waltz playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[gasps] Trina, how'd it go?

Well, the puppet thing worked out.

-That's great. -And he likes me too.

That's amazing!

And he's moving to New Zealand.

That's… Oh.

[hysterical] No! [sobs]

My scene is next. Or it would've been.

This is humiliating, turn it off!

No, just… watch.

[Jen Z whimpers]

[audience cheering]

-[clapping] -Wait, that's me. How did you--

We broke into an editor's bay and stole the director's cut.

Which is technically a crime and I shouldn't have yelled that.

I'm sorry, your table's no longer available.

It's always something!

[squeals]

-[all cheering] -Yeah, Jen!

I was wonderful. But then, like, why did they cut me?

You didn't see it?

See what?

Emmy, run it back.

[rewinding]

The background guy ruined your shot.

That's why you got cut.

-Nothing to do with your performance. -Exactly.

You're right. I was perfect.

I'll be right back.

-Okay. -Where are you going, Jen?

Oh, to find that creepy background guy and destroy everything he cares about.

Oh, okay!

Aw, our girl's back.

[upbeat music playing]

[romantic accordion waltz playing]

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