Original subtitles

♪ So I break down the walls that I made ♪

♪ Won't hold back, I'm here to stay ♪

[upbeat music playing]

[both] ♪ Love is a funny thing ♪

♪ You found the ranch dip To your buffalo wing ♪

♪ It's like pancakes ♪

♪ Swimming in a buttery hug ♪

♪ When you fall in love ♪

♪ You can feel your little heart go zing ♪

♪ So get up off your lazy behind ♪

♪ And find the ranch to your wing ♪

Whoo!

Oh! That is such a nice song! What's it about?

-It's a love song. -Oh.

-Can I see that real quick? -Yeah.

Hm.

Okay, that's five ukuleles in the last week. What's going on?

Usually people who break ukuleles are going through something.

People who make generalizations about people who break ukuleles

are usually going to detention!

You're late! What the heck?

Ugh, men.

-We were getting coffee. -For you.

'Cause you asked us to.

You want to join your little sister in detention, tough guy?

I normally don't care about other people's feelings,

but because your mood is directly affecting me, what's going on?

Teachers aren't supposed to discuss their personal lives with students.

-Makes sense. -Good policy.

Okay, I'll tell you!

My dating life is a mess.

Buckle up.

Click.

First, there was Disappearing David.

And then there was Mark, or who I call Question Mark,

because where was he when our date was about to start?

[all] Question Mark.

Now we understand why you've been Terrible Trina recently.

-Mm-hmm. -[growls]

Jen made it up.

Want to hit this? Might take the edge off.

Yeah, let me get a pull.

Anyways, that's my love life.

No man in the history of mankind has ever made me feel special. Awkward.

My guy's out there. Unless there's some Sliding Doors moment on the way to me,

and he met a girl with perfect eyebrows, and now they have twins. Pepper, uke me!

[upbeat music playing]

So, uh, acting.

My girl went hard today.

-Guys, we gotta do something. -Agreed. We thinking Thai food or sushi?

-No, I mean about Trina's love life. -We need to set her up with a good guy.

Yeah, like someone who makes her feel special.

How about my dad?

Pepper, he's married…

to your mom.

And she's obsessed with him. The man must be a total stud.

What about our songwriting teacher, Mr. S?

[gasps] Oh, I love Mr. S.

I'm annoyed by everybody but only kind of annoyed by Mr. S.

If this doesn't work out, my dad is free

Thursday afternoons before his mandatory date night with my mom.

We dudes just came up with the best idea.

Yeah, one might say…

-We cooked. -We cooked.

Is it an idea on how to fix Trina's love life?

-That's it. -You know it.

We have an idea too. Everybody say on three.

-All right. -Three.

-Set her up with Mr. S. -Get her a dog!

Set her up with Mr. S.

-Did you say get her a dog? -No, set her up with Mr. S.

-A dog would be crazy. -Way too much responsibility.

-Where would we even get a dog? -That pet store on Fairfax.

[dog barks]

-What was that? -Nothing.

-I have to go walk my backpack. -He has to go walk his backpack.

[dog barks]

Trina is going to love Mr. S.

[choir] ♪ Mr. S ♪

-Mr. S… -What the…

So tell me more about this Mr. S. What's so great about him?

He's got a car.

-You have my attention. -He's funny.

-Does it have one of those big screens? -Not a button in sight.

I'm still here.

-He's just all around a good guy. -Is the interior cloth or leather?

You know we're trying to set you up with him, not his car, right?

Yeah, sorry. Wait, if he is a teacher at Hollywood Arts,

-why haven't I met him? -He's not full time.

He teaches a songwriting workshop twice a month.

He hosts open mic nights at Boba Baby for the songs we write.

He's got this amazing quote, "A song isn't a song until you share it."

-Does his car have four-wheel drive? -Oh my God!

Okay, okay, okay, I am sold.

-Yes! -[laughs]

Wait, where's Qwest?

Uh…

Anyone want a dog? [chuckles]

Anyone?

[upbeat musical transition]

-I'm so excited. -I know.

[Pepper squeals]

-Yeah. -Okay, Ms. V!

Really? I just threw this together.

Clearly!

But it works.

Okay, this way to your blind date.

-Here we go. -Close your eyes.

-[grunts] -Not you, Pepper.

Ow, sorry!

-Oh, here she is. [chuckles] -Oh.

-Robbie? -Trina?

Either they know each other or they're real good at guessing names.

Robbie Shapiro? Ugh. I can't believe I shaved my legs for this.

Robbie Shapiro, you're Mr. S.

And you're Ms. V?

-So you guys know each other? -Of course we do.

We went to Hollywood Arts at the same time.

We had some great times together.

Do you remember when you spit milk in my face?

Yeah, yeah, the spit take. Good gag.

Uh, Robbie here was my sister Tori's weird little friend.

I-I wouldn't say I was weird.

You carried a puppet around 24/7.

Not 24/7.

I bathe alone. I established boundaries.

What's she doing?

She's getting unready.

This date is dead.

So, uh, what have you been up to?

I'ma stop you right there, Robbie.

It ain't happening. [sighs]

Okay, why not?

[scoffs] Because it's Robbie!

He's like a little brother to me.

[chuckles] You know I love you, Robbie, but us dating? [gags]

[laughs]

Love and light.

[laughs]

Robbie! Can you imagine?

You guys wouldn't believe this, but honestly, not my worst date.

Dang.

Sorry.

Nah. It's fine.

I've been turned down by Trina tons of times.

I had a thing for her back in the day, but it was a long time ago.

Wait a minute.

Look at me.

Say her name, first and last.

Trina Vega?

-He likes her. -[gasping]

You could tell just by me saying "Trina Vega"?

Oh, he really likes her.

[Pepper squeals, giggles]

What?! No!

Look, I-I mean, yeah, I-I may have thought about her over the years.

-Maybe wondered what she's up to. -Mm-hmm.

Occasionally pictured us together as old folks, sitting on a porch,

holding hands as the sun sets.

Okay, yeah, I like her.

-[laughing] -There it is.

Everybody in my class thought I had a thing for this girl Cat,

but I also always really liked Trina.

Now she's this awesome teacher giving back to the younger generation.

Much younger generation, yes.

Hey, I mean, it's too bad that you got bro-zoned, man.

I mean, sounds like you could use a, I don't know, a four-legged companion?

-Dude, face it, it's your dog now. -I know.

It's fine. It happens. Thanks for trying, guys.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Look, Trina is looking for a good guy who likes her.

And you are a good guy who likes her.

But Trina still sees me the way she did in high school.

So we have to make her see you differently now.

-How? -[gasps] Easy!

We change everything about you to fit what someone else wants.

-Nope. -That never works.

See, I've seen every rom-com ever made.

-Every rom-com? -Ever made.

You see, this is just the beginning of their movie.

Next is a series of well-worn romantic tropes

that leads them to the inevitable love connection. [chuckles]

Watch some rom-coms and educate yourselves.

Wait, he's right. We just need to create the perfect rom-com moment

and Trina will see you in a different light.

-Yes! -What the hey?

-I'll do it! -Yes!

[excited shouting]

Why not let a bunch of kids run my love life?

Let's do it!

-Yes! -Yeah!

[mellow music playing]

دانلود رایگان فیلم و سریال با زیرنویس فارسی چسبیده FileMovieBot

It's never gonna happen, Rob.

Yes, it will. What's the worst that could happen?

Yeah, nobody's ever said that sentence and regretted it later.

Rex is back, baby! They tried to get rid of me.

Who tried to get rid of you?

Your mom.

[bright musical transition]

Okay, rom-com ideas! What do we got?

-I got one! Pick me. -I got one! It's good.

I like the excitement. Pepper, hit me.

Cheese man.

Okay, yeah!

What?

-What is a cheese man? -It's a cheese man.

-Anyone else? -Yeah, me, I got the best idea!

Scoff! That's impossible because I have the best idea.

I scoff in both your directions for I have the best idea!

Enough scoffing. Eh, we'll go with me! Wow, luck of the draw.

All right, so every day, exactly 15 minutes before the sun sets,

the light shines in a way that makes anybody look amazing.

[upbeat pop music playing]

-Two minutes to golden hour, people. -Are you sure this will work?

Not at all.

Trina's on foot, everybody. Last looks.

Oh! Purse chocolate! Ah!

Cue the breeze.

[giggles] That feels nice.

Gonna want the scene to look real and not staged,

which is why we're gonna have Jen and Oscar play background!

-Oh! Where are you headed? -To play some sports ball.

-[laughs] Pilates for me. -Oh! Great day for it.

[Oscar laughs]

Oh my God.

Trina, didn't see you there.

This lighting is…

perfect for a selfie!

Ah! [laughs]

Mm. God, I'm gorgeous.

Oh, man. I left my keys by the toilet again.

If I had a nickel for every time I left my keys by the toilet…

[Robbie groans]

Well…

we tried.

-Thanks anyway, guys. -You're gonna give up just like that?

It's a vibe killer when a woman pushes you off the hood of her car.

Bad news, you can't give up 'cause we haven't tried my idea yet.

A little something I like to call a makeover.

As our resident pretty boy, I know a thing or two about…

looking good.

Jen, fluff his hair a little bit more. Pepper, contour those cheekbones.

[gasps]

He's perfect.

[gasps]

You made him look like you.

Exactly.

Hey, kids, can you guess which one of us is the real Oscar?

I'm Robbie.

[upbeat pop music playing]

-Here she comes! -Background!

And action!

-Where you headed? -Business.

Great day for it.

[laughing]

Oh, Trina, didn't see you there.

Not now, Oscar, I'm off the clock.

You look tired. You should get some sleep.

Well, you know what they say. Fail once, shame on you.

Fail twice, retreat to your couch with the shattered dignity

of a grown man in skinny jeans.

No, no, we can't quit yet.

Let's just all take a second and remember why we're doing this.

To have the winning idea.

No, to help our two favorite teachers fall in love.

[sweetly] And live happily ever after.

[frankly] Now, listen.

The reason no one's won yet is because we've been trying dumb boy ideas.

It's time for a hot girl idea.

Oh. Cheese man on three.

Pepper.

Hot girl idea.

Great day for it.

Background!

Heard they're giving away tickets to Ed Sheeran.

Ah, great day for it.

[laughing]

Oh, I want those tickets.

Yeah, you do.

-And the winner is… -[drumroll]

-…Mr. S! -[laughs]

Oh, come on!

I didn't even put my name in there, but come on!

[Robbie] How exciting!

I wonder who I will take with me to this concert.

Oh, um, Trina, I just won two tickets.

You interested?

Really?

Yeah.

Thanks!

I can sell these for a fortune!

[sighs]

Wow.

Hot girl ideas usually work.

-Anyway, here's your credit card back. -Were the tickets expensive?

Oh, yeah, stupid expensive.

Welp, I'm out of ideas.

It's time.

[mysterious music playing]

Okay, explain this cheese man idea and please don't just say--

-Cheese man. -Okay.

These lyrics are beautiful.

Oh, um, that's, uh, that's nothing. It's just a song I'm working on.

It's not nothing. I mean, this melody is gorgeous.

You can hear a melody just by looking at sheet music?

It's not about me. But, yeah, I'm pretty impressive.

Wait, did you write this song about Trina?

Oh. [chuckles] How did you know that?

It's called "Song About Trina."

Wait, you should sing it for her.

-Forget cheese man. -Watch your mouth, young lady.

-Yeah, sing it at the open mic tomorrow. -This is the idea.

Sing this for Trina and she will see you in a different light.

But then who wins?

Love.

Scoff.

But okay.

You know what?

I'll do it!

-Ha-ha! Yes! -Yes!

Fourth time's the charm.

Well, fifth time. Terrible blind date, lighting disaster,

weird teen boy makeover, ticket fail, now this.

I must really like this girl.

Hey, guys, check it out.

John Mayer just liked my comment on Memes For Days…

I knew it!

You guys were orchestrating rom-com scenarios

to try to get Robbie and I together.

I had my suspicions, but cheese man confirms it.

-You know what a cheese man is? -I am a single woman in my 30s.

You think I haven't ran a cheese man on a guy?

Robbie, I love ya, but I'm never gonna see you

as anything other than a little brother.

So can you please let it go now, for me?

Of course I can.

And I hope you can take me seriously when I say that, despite this.

Respect, Robbie.

Romantic gestures are great, but there's nothing more romantic

than listening to what a woman tells you.

Can you guys save some cheese sauce for me?

[together] What cheese sauce?

It's a cheese man. There's gotta be a big cheese drop coming.

What is she talking about?

[gasps]

It was set on a timer.

Cheese man.

[upbeat musical transition]

[ukulele music playing]

♪ Never befriend a pigeon ♪

♪ Never befriend a pigeon ♪

♪ They'll draw you in with their sound ♪

♪ Coo! Then drop something on your crown ♪

♪ Poo! ♪

What do you mean I can't pay for my Boba Baby with that?

This is a gift certificate for a free oil change, and it's expired!

You know I set your grades, right?

More boba on the house.

[ukulele music continues]

Why do I feel like I'm at the point in their rom-com

when there's still a chance they're gonna get together?

I will say it's too bad he's not gonna sing his song.

♪ I gave you bread! I gave you trust! ♪

♪ And you had to spoil it! ♪

♪ You made me your toilet! ♪

♪ Never befriend a pigeon! ♪

[screams]

[gasps]

[man] Alright! That was Pepper with "Never Befriend a Pigeon"!

Uh, okay, everyone. Um, that seems like a good time for a break.

We'll have time for a few more, so don't forget to sign up.

Hey, Robbie, I know that you didn't wanna sing that song that you wrote for Trina,

but I think you should.

Look, guys, she told me to stop trying.

-I'm gonna respect that. -But, you know, might I also remind you

you're the songwriting teacher who taught us

that a song isn't a song unless you share it?

Yeah, forget our dumb plans.

A good song is a good song, and the world deserves to hear it.

Hi, I'm inserting myself.

You didn't get the girl.

At least get yourself some hot applause.

You know, last night, as I was cleaning cheese out of my… places…

I promised myself I would stop taking your guys' advice.

But you do have a good point.

What'd I miss? This guy's afraid to sing, but you convinced him

a song's just a song, so now he's moments away from agreeing?

What do you mean I can't get a refund if I got it for free and drank the whole thing?

[groans]

Okay, we've got a very exciting surprise performer for you all right now.

Our host and the guy who taught us how to write all of these songs, Robbie Shapiro!

[cheering]

-Go, Mr. S! -Mr. S!

Mr. S!

♪ Isn't it funny How some things never change? ♪

♪ Like feeling my butterflies fly ♪

♪ Every time you walk by And I hear you say my name ♪

♪ Didn't know where, didn't know how ♪

♪ But as sure as I am here now ♪

♪ Please let me explain ♪

♪ That one thing still remains ♪

♪ 'Cause my heart always knew ♪

♪ Knew it was you, you, you ♪

-♪ If you could see what I see ♪ -Okay, Shapiro.

♪ Then you would have no doubt ♪

♪ 'Cause my heart always knew ♪

♪ Knew it was you, you, you ♪

♪ There's nothing left to show me ♪

♪ Wish you would get to know me now ♪

-This is really beautiful. -♪ Now ♪

♪ Now ♪

-He wrote it about you. -♪ Wish you would know me now ♪

♪ Now ♪

♪ Wish you would get to know me now ♪

[cheering]

[uplifting music playing]

[cheering]

What? No one! Nothing! Shut up!

That was a pretty good song, huh?

It was okay, I guess.

Well, I've never had a guy write a song about me.

I bet it makes you feel pretty special.

It's possible I've made a terrible mistake.

Well, it is not too late. Go talk to him.

[acoustic guitar music playing]

Okay, here I go.

If this goes poorly, you are so getting detention.

-Hey! -Oh! Hey!

-Great song. -Oh, I-I actually wrote it about… uh…

I mean, thanks.

-Um, Robbie… -Hi, I'm Kim.

That song was absolutely incredible.

-Sorry, was I interrupting? -No, no, no. No, go ahead.

Could I buy you a boba?

Maybe you can tell me about songwriting.

Um, yeah, thanks. I-I would love a boba.

I'll grab us a table.

Well, that was a first.

I-I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Oh, no, I just, it's a great song.

-[chuckles] You little weirdo. -Ow.

Uh, well, thanks.

Um, alright, I'm gonna go receive a boba.

How do I look?

You look great.

-Now go get your boba! -Okay.

You're just gonna let her have Robbie?

A pretty girl asked him out. I'm not gonna take that from him.

You're a pretty girl who was about to ask him out!

Was I? I mean, I'm not even totally sure I like him.

Get your hand off my man's arm. Oh!

I gotta go.

You tell anybody about this, you are getting the most detention.

Cover me!

[upbeat music playing]

Hey, Mom. I got detention.

For failing to set up my teachers?

This school is weird.

[mellow music playing]

[grumbling] It's about time, Rob! I was schvitzing in there.

I'm sorry about that, Rex.

You put me in a bag like that again, I will find a bag and put you in it.

Now what'd I miss? Fill a puppet in.

Where do I begin?

["Never Befriend a Pigeon" playing]